Confidence

Latest Episodes:

Chasing a Fantasy Jul 13, 2025

Show notes

I took this solo trip thinking it would be like a peaceful little reset. But instead, it turned into so much more. This emotional rollercoaster cracked me open in a way I didn’t expect. I talk about what it was like being isolated, completely surrounded by people, having to surrender to all the anxiety and loneliness, and it honestly changed everything for me. As I sat there with all these feelings and finally let them go, something insane happened! This one moment forced me to look at the relationship I was already in and face some hard-ass questions: Am I in this because it feels good and safe, or am I avoiding the truth that it’s not actually what I want? I'll be honest, this part of the story gets messy, but I guess that is for you to judge...

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Chapters

00:00 An Avoidant Takes a Solo Trip (A Wild Ride)

1:04:55 Not Holding Guilt After Showing Up Anxious in Your Relationship

Afraid to Be Loved Jul 06, 2025

Show notes

I’ve been realizing how deep my avoidance runs, how I try to control everything just to avoid getting hurt. I talk about a moment this week that really triggered me, some shit came up in my relationship, and I was ready to dip … in the moment I realized that I had to sit with it and be like … am I actually scared of her, or am I scared of being loved? I discuss how I’ve been stuck in the cycle of pushing love away while still craving it, how fear of abandonment has shaped my whole routine, and why I keep people at a distance even when I don’t want to.

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No Chapters

Validation Won't Save You Jun 29, 2025

Show notes

There’s nothing more devastating to your relationships than your own ego. In this episode, I’m breaking down the patterns that keep us stuck in comparison, insecurity, and why nothing ever feels like enough. I’m sharing how I’ve been navigating my own ego, including a real story about an uncomfortable moment in my relationship. I also get into what to do when you’ve outgrown certain friendships or relationships, and why checking your partner’s IG following might say more about you than them. This is a full breakdown on self-trust, ego, and learning how to stop needing external validation.

Chapters:

00:00 Ego Is Lying to You

39:58 How to Navigate Relationships You've Outgrown

49:19 Checking Their IG Following: Harmless or Insecure?

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Healing Insecure Attachment Jun 22, 2025

Show notes

What if I told you that you ARE actually needy? That when you are accused of being too much, it ISN'T a lie, but it is not for the reason that you think! This week, I unpack a bunch of discoveries I've made for both anxious and avoidant attachments. I also made some enormous perosnal strides this week, I share about my incessant need for attention (maybe it's the attention I was deprived of as a kid, I am sure y'all will relate), fear of looking uncool, and finally understanding how destructive my current patterns are in my battle for inner security. I also answer a few listener questions, such as how to let go of someone who isn’t right for you (but you still miss) and what to do when an avoidant gets disrespectful, plus a special twist at the end.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Healing Insecure Attachment

45:39 Letting Go of Someone You Miss But Isn’t Right for You

50:11 How to Respond to Avoidant Calling You Clingy

Lonely Avoidant Jun 15, 2025

Show notes

They always come back, don't they? I hate being a statistic, but this week I embarked on a very questionable quest in the middle of an anxiety attack. In today’s episode, I unpack my anxious avoidant patterns with a few wild stories. I'll also share some recent massive breakthroughs, such as the power of prioritizing self-satisfaction over external approval, and how to choose peace over performance. Let’s talk about why you run, what you're actually chasing, and how to stop judging yourself for just being human. Also, at the end, I'll give you a 15-minute masterclass on flirting with people in the wild. Let's do it!

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Chasing Intensity Instead of Love (Deconstructing Avoidant Attachment)

45:22 How to Flirt: Flirting Masterclass

Building Self-Security Jun 08, 2025

Show notes

Today, I'm going off-script, but on script, it's weird. I break down the steps of what it truly means to build self-security. I discuss the trap of chasing external validation and how real happiness lies in the uncomfortable journey inward. I unpack how to stop molding yourself for acceptance, why true worthiness isn’t based on your achievements, and how taking vulnerably risky action will lead you to the authentic relationships you've always wanted. If you’re constantly worried about reactions or if you’re scared to show your true self, this episode is your reminder: the peace you’re seeking is already within you.

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Chapters:

6:53 How to Build Self-Security

43:07 My Subconscious Agreements Holding Me Back From Love

Do You Even Like Them? Jun 01, 2025

Show notes

Isn’t it wild how you can miss someone you don’t even want to be with? In today’s episode, I’ll tell you how I’ve been second-guessing myself and why I’ve struggled to walk away from something I knew wasn’t right. We’ll dig into avoidant attachment, self-trust, and the guilt that keeps you stuck. I also talk about redefining what I really want, cutting the bullshit in my dating life, and how easily fear and external validation can run the show.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Intro: Struggling with Guilt & Over-Responsibility for Others Feelings

12:01 Overcoming External Validation

40:05 Fear that I Am Not Cool

52:18 When is the Right Time to Put Out

Runaway May 25, 2025

Show notes

A lot of men can’t stay still in a relationship, I am one of them. Today, I share my inner dialogue around my recent separation. I discuss the struggle of having high standards versus navigating avoidant attachment. I also unpack some tricky dating scenarios on whether or not to take that extra next date (if you aren’t feeling that initial spark), or what to do when the person you loved ran away and now wants another chance (but you already met their replacement).

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters

00:00 Intro: I Ran Away (Again)

21:13 Should You Keep Dating Without Immediate Attraction

36:05 What to Do if They Come Back and You Already Met Someone New

Client Spotlight: "This Isn't Normal" (ft. Rieya) May 18, 2025

Show notes

This week I welcome Rieya on the show! Rieya is one of my current clients, and this week she shares her story about how you end up in a relationship where you abandon yourself, ignore the red flags, and chase breadcrumbs. It’s not always obvious while it’s happening. We get into anxious attachment, over-functioning, and why it’s so hard to let go of someone who once treated you well. We also talk about what emotional abandonment really looks like, how to break that people-pleasing pattern, and why your self-worth can tank when you're trying to “fix” someone who won’t even fix themselves.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Coachee Spotlight Reiya - Situation Introduction

13:47 Her Biggest Fear Around Love

27:47 Where Her Struggles With Boundaries Came From

35:31 Why You Hold On So Hard

47:10 Men Chasing External Validation

58:02 Sharing a Dog with Your Ex

Not Your Person May 11, 2025

Show notes

Ever find yourself stuck ruminating about why a relationship didn't work or obsessing over what could've been done differently? In today's episode, I break down the mindset shifts that helped me finally feel at peace, even amid uncertainty, and why embracing micro-rejections (or abandonment) can be your superpower. Plus, I'll cover the tough questions: When is the right time to break no contact with an ex? How can you tactically and effectively set boundaries early on in dating without causing awkwardness?

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Intro - Letting Go of Control

16:03 Breaking No Contact with Your Avoidant Ex

40:48 How to Communicate Boundaries Tactically

59:44 How to Ask "What Are We?" Without Asking