Education

CLOSER with Rachel Lim

CLOSER with Rachel Lim is about the conversations beneath the surface.

Rachel sits down with people who fascinate her to explore not just what they’ve done, but what has shaped who they are: the experiences, relationships, contradictions, failures, beliefs and questions that have made them who they are today.

Alongside long-form conversations are personal reflections from Rachel on what she is learning, unlearning and seeing differently in her own life. There may not always be a clear answer.. but perhaps the point is to come away seeing someone differently, seeing ourselves differently, and feeling a little closer.

To ourselves.

To each other.

To what matters.

Latest Episodes:

#13: Lessons from the Harvard's Longest Study on Happiness with Dr. Robert Waldinger Jul 02, 2024

Show notes

This week, I am excited to have Dr. Robert Waldinger, the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, join us for an enlightening conversation. This episode is packed with wisdom and insights from the world’s longest-running study on happiness.

Discover the key factors that contribute to a fulfilling life and how happiness evolves over time. Dr. Waldinger also discusses the importance of quality relationships, balancing career and personal life, and the principles of intentional living. We also delve into generational patterns of happiness, the wisdom of older participants, and the power of mindfulness.

Whether you're seeking to improve your personal relationships, find more satisfaction in your work, or understand the science of happiness, this episode provides valuable guidance for living a happier, more intentional life.

00:00 Introduction

01:05 Get to Know Dr. Robert Waldinger

01:55 Understanding the Harvard Study of Adult Development

03:09 Key Factors for a Fulfilling Life

04:50 The Evolution of Happiness Over Time

08:04 Quality vs. Quantity in Relationships

09:58 Balancing Career Ambitions with Personal Relationships

11:27 Practicing Intentional Living

12:59 Generational Patterns of Happiness

16:28 Lessons from Older Participants

17:28 Advice for Building Strong Relationships

20:14 The Power of Mindfulness

23:00 Technology's Impact on Relationships

24:27 The Importance of Purpose in Life

26:10 Dr. Robert Waldinger’s Passion for Research

28:28 Final Thoughts

Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/

Follow Dr. Robert Waldinger here: https://www.instagram.com/robert.waldinger/

Learn more here:

https://www.robertwaldinger.com/

Purchase “The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Study on Happiness” here: https://singapore.kinokuniya.com/bw/9781846046773

#12: The Power of Modern Etiquette with Sara Jane Ho Jun 25, 2024

Show notes

In this special episode, join me for an exclusive live recording featuring the esteemed Sara Jane Ho, internationally renowned etiquette expert and host of Netflix's "Mind Your Manners." Recorded during our recent CLOSER event in Singapore, Sara Jane shares her fascinating journey from founding an etiquette school in Beijing to becoming a global authority on modern manners. We dive into a range of topics, from the most unusual etiquette practices she's encountered to the essential role etiquette plays in today's fast-paced digital world. Sara Jane's unique approach combines tradition with contemporary relevance, offering practical insights that are both enlightening and entertaining. Highlights include: - Surprising etiquette practices from around the world - Sara's most memorable success stories and testimonials - Behind the scenes of "Mind Your Manners" - The critical link between etiquette and emotional intelligence - Light-hearted discussions on bedroom etiquette and Feng Shui Whether you're an etiquette enthusiast or simply curious about enhancing your social skills, this episode promises to be an unforgettable journey into the world of modern etiquette. Tune in and discover how mastering manners can transform your personal and professional life. ———— 00:00 Introduction 01:17 Unusual Etiquette Practices 03:39 The Start of Sara Jane's Journey 06:44 Sara Jane's Most Memorable Success Stories 10:43 Inside Her Netflix Show 'Mind Your Manners' 17:03 The Relevance of Etiquette Today 22:09 The Link Between Etiquette and Emotional Intelligence 23:41 Breaking Up Over Text: Sara Jane's Perspective 28:38 Knowing Your Worth: Don’t Settle for Less 30:58 Bedroom Etiquette: Tips and Insights 32:26 Feng Shui: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy or Practical Wisdom? 37:22 Q&A with Sara Jane 49:10 Final Thoughts Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/ Follow Sara Jane Ho here: https://www.instagram.com/sarajaneho/ Watch 'Mind Your Manners' on Netflix: ⁠https://www.netflix.com/title/81109061

#11: Embracing 'Not-Having-It-All' with Karen Tay Jun 18, 2024

Show notes

In this insightful episode, we sit down with Karen Tay, a dynamic leader who has transitioned from impactful roles in the Singapore Government to navigating Silicon Valley's startup scene. Karen shares her journey, shaped by a close-knit family and significant life challenges, highlighting how these experiences have influenced her leadership style and personal growth. Karen delves into her extensive experience, beginning with her role in the Singapore Government where she shaped national policy and fostered strategic communications. She then discusses her transition to Silicon Valley, navigating the unique challenges of the tech industry while focusing on bringing dignity and equity to the workplace. Reflecting on her journey of redefining "having it all," Karen shares personal anecdotes about balancing professional ambitions with family responsibilities, shedding light on the sacrifices involved. The move to the US marked a significant transition for Karen and her family. She candidly discusses the difficulties of establishing new support systems and provides valuable advice for women navigating significant workplace challenges, emphasizing the importance of finding support and maintaining one's identity. Karen also explores her initiatives with Threshold Allies and Inherent, focusing on empowering women to lead with their inherent strengths. She leaves us with profound wisdom on embracing life's messiness and recognizing one's inherent value. Join us for a compelling episode filled with honest reflections, practical advice, and inspiring insights from Karen Tay's remarkable journey. ——— 00:00 Introduction 00:17 Getting to Know Karen Tay 02:19 The Impact of Her Upbringing 04:40 Pivotal Moments in Karen’s Career 06:27 Challenges of Working in Silicon Valley 07:58 Bringing Dignity to the Workplace 09:57 Redefining the Concept of ‘Having-It-All’ 11:53 Sacrifices Made in Karen’s Journey 17:03 Addressing and Overcoming Burnout 21:06 Deconstructing ‘Having-It-All’ in Singapore 27:29 The Impacts of Moving Abroad 32:50 Navigating Unconventional Career Paths 36:58 Advice to Her Younger Self 38:07 Karen’s Vision for ‘Inherent’ 40:54 Final Thoughts and Reflections Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/ Connect with Karen here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenzytay/ Discover ‘Inherent’: https://www.inherentjourney.org/

#10: Inside the Mind of a Therapist: Joshua Fletcher on Anxiety Jun 11, 2024

Show notes

Join me for an insightful episode with Joshua Fletcher, a renowned psychotherapist and best-selling author, as he delves into the intricacies of anxiety disorders and stress management. With his candid and relatable approach, Joshua demystifies therapy and underscores its transformative potential. In this episode, Joshua reveals what inspired him to specialize in anxiety disorders and shares his journey in raising awareness and reducing stigma around mental health. He offers practical advice for those hesitant to seek professional help and insightful tips on how to start therapy. Joshua also reflects on memorable moments that showcase the power of therapeutic change, providing real-life examples that reaffirm his belief in the positive impact therapy can have. Additionally, Joshua imparts heartfelt advice to his younger self on mental health, career, and personal growth, making this episode not just informative but also deeply personal and inspiring. Whether you're new to therapy or seeking to deepen your understanding of anxiety, this episode is brimming with valuable insights and inspiration. Tune in and take the first step towards a more comprehensive understanding of mental wellness. ——— 00:00 Introduction 01:06 Get to know Joshua Fletcher 02:08 Defining Anxiety: A Therapist’s Perspective 06:39 When to Seek Professional Help 10:27 Addressing Hesitancy in Seeking Therapy 13:14 Joshua’s Personal Therapy Journey 15:26 Introducing “And How Does That Make You Feel?” 18:56 Common Misconceptions About Therapy 20:54 Elements of Effective Therapy 25:50 Understanding the Power of Therapy 27:25 The Stress Jug Concept 30:50 Advice to His Younger Self 32:34 Overcoming the Inner Critic 37:08 Joshua’s Parenting Advice 39:55 Final Thoughts Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/ Follow Joshua Fletcher here: https://www.instagram.com/anxietyjosh/?hl=en Purchase his new book ‘And How Does That Make You Feel?: everything you (n)ever wanted to know about therapy’: https://singapore.kinokuniya.com/bw/9781398713215

#9: Raising Secure Kids: From Theory to Practice with Eli Harwood Jun 04, 2024

Show notes

Today, I am thrilled to have Eli Harwood, a leading expert in attachment relationships, join us. With 17 years of experience as a licensed therapist, Eli has devoted her career to understanding how we connect and heal. Join us as we embark on a journey from theory to practice, exploring the importance of secure attachment and its impact on relationships and parenting.
In this episode, Eli shares her extensive experience and expertise, offering insights gleaned from years of attachment research. From debunking cultural myths surrounding attachment parenting to defining the core concepts of attachment theory, Eli guides us through the intricacies of forming secure bonds with our loved ones.
Discover practical strategies for navigating modern parenting challenges, including realigning with your children after conflict, and striking a balance between attachment and independence. Explore the CALM approach to regulating a child's emotions and learn how to address the legacy of insecure attachment with compassion and understanding.
Let’s dive in.
00:00 Introduction
02:01 The Importance of Secure Attachment
05:58 Eli Harwood’s Journey in Attachment Research
08:29 Debunking Cultural Myths of Attachment Parenting
12:05 Core Concepts of Attachment Theory
22:02 Defining Secure Attachment
22:49 Modern Parenting Challenges in Achieving Secure Attachment
27:24 Realigning with Your Kids After Conflict
30:12 Balancing Attachment and Child Independence
35:00 Benchmarking Secure Attachment
37:22 Repairing the Parent-Child Bond After Conflict
38:03 Regulating a Child’s Emotions: The CALM Approach
42:21 Addressing the Legacy of Insecure Attachment
43:40 Building Secure Attachment
46:15 Final Thoughts
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Eli Harwood here: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd?igsh=ZGdraWpkYnJnOG90
Purchase her latest book 'Raising Securely Attached Kids' here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0CPDP7DT5/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr=

#8: Shifting from Scarcity to Sufficiency with Joyce Chen May 28, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, we dive into the concept of the scarcity mindset with our in-house guest expert, Joyce from The Conscious Leadership Group. Joyce explains how a scarcity mindset impacts both personal and professional lives, often driven by three toxic fears that manifest in our behaviors and decisions. We explore the pervasive belief that "more is better" and its detrimental consequences on business and personal development. Joyce provides insightful strategies to shift from the belief that "there is not enough" to cultivating a mindset of sufficiency. We also discuss how sufficiency is not an amount but an experience, and Joyce shares practical ways to cultivate this experience in our lives. Addressing common misconceptions about sufficiency, Joyce reveals how perspective shapes our experience of abundance or lack, particularly regarding time and money. She introduces the three truths of sufficiency, guiding individuals toward a more abundant mindset. Tune in to gain insights and practical strategies to overcome the lies of scarcity and embrace a life of abundance and sufficiency. ——— 00:00 Introduction 00:37 What is Scarcity Mindset? 02:59 The lies of Scarcity Mindset 04:41 The 3 toxic fears of Scarcity Mindset 05:01 #1: More is better 05:49 #2: There is not enough 07:00 #3: That’s just the way it is 08:58 Sufficiency Mindset vs Scarcity Mindset 11:55 The 3 Truths of Sufficiency Mindset 12:26 #1: Money is like water, you direct where it goes 15:17 #2: What we appreciate, appreciates 17:11 #3: Collaboration creates prosperity 19:13 How to cultivate self-worth beyond external measures of success 21:39 Soul Domain vs Money Domain 24:00 Final thoughts 25:35 Exercise: Sufficiency Meditation Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/ Get connected with Joyce: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joyce-chen-coach/ Additional resources: * The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Klemp: https://amzn.to/3UXJFgL * The Soul of Money by Lynn Twist: https://amzn.to/3UW2kcL * Take a scarcity inventory using this handout from The Conscious Leadership Group to increase awareness around how scarcity lives in your life: https://bit.ly/3KjdYtu

#7: Redefining Success: Inside The Mind Of 31-Year-Old Retiree Ashish Kumar May 21, 2024

Show notes

Embark on a thought-provoking journey as we delve into the life and philosophy of Ashish Kumar, a former top PSLE scorer turned 31-year-old retiree. In this captivating episode, we navigate through a series of insightful topics, each unveiling a different facet of Ashish's unconventional perspectives.
From his formative years and the influence of studying overseas to his experiences as a civil servant in Singapore, we explore the factors that shaped Ashish's unique perspective on life and work. Along the way, we confront pressing questions about employment, early retirement, and the pursuit of personal freedom in a society bound by expectations.
Join me as we dissect the essence of Ashish Kumar, examining the values and principles that define his existence beyond the confines of traditional success. With each chapter, we peel back the layers of conventional wisdom, challenging misconceptions and igniting introspection. As we navigate through Ashish's story, we are reminded of the importance of living authentically and aligning our actions with our deepest values.
Prepare to be inspired, provoked, and enlightened as we embark on this journey of exploration with Ashish Kumar.
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Ashish Kumar here: https://youtube.com/@ashishxiangyikumar?si=uW9XwGaMnwr0q_lN
00:00 Introduction
00:22 Getting to know Ashish Kumar
03:04 The impact of his upbringing
05:39 The influence of studying overseas
09:28 Ashish's Experience as a Singaporean Bureaucrat
14:26 Addressing the challenges & limitations of employment
16:00 Early retirement: A privilege, a choice, or both?
19:11 Navigating the divide between work and personal Life
22:13 What defines Ashish Kumar: Unpacking identity and values
24:50 Pursuing freedom & challenging societal expectations
30:47 Systemic changes towards a flexible work culture
33:31 The dilemma of commitment in pursuit of freedom
34:49 Misconceptions of early retirement
37:03 Reflections on a meaningful life
40:33 The Deathbed Exercise
41:33 Surprising insights after early retirement
45:58 Final thoughts

#6: Practical Marriage Advice From America’s Top Divorce Attorney James Sexton May 14, 2024

Show notes

Join me for an insightful conversation with James Sexton, America's Divorce Lawyer whose expertise extends far beyond the courtroom. With over two decades of experience on the front lines of divorce, James offers a unique perspective on relationships, love, and resilience.

Throughout our discussion, James shares invaluable insights gleaned from witnessing the intricacies of countless relationships unraveling. From uncovering the underlying reasons behind relationship breakdowns to exploring real-life examples of "reverse engineering" relationships, we delve into the complexities of maintaining lasting connections.

In addition to sharing memorable cases from his career, James offers practical advice for rebuilding after divorce and discusses the essential ingredients for long-term relationship success.

Tune in for a conversation you won't want to miss as we navigate the highs and lows of love and relationships with James Sexton.

Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/

Follow James Sexton here: https://www.instagram.com/nycdivorcelawyer/

00:00 Introduction 01:11 Get to know James Sexton 04:28 Unveiling the root cause of marital breakdowns 10:25 Red Flags in Relationships: Recognising Warning Signs 15:48 Focusing on what truly matters 17:28 The art of effective communication 22:19 Reverse-engineering relationships to solve disconnection 25:58 The pitfalls of keeping scores in relationships 28:57 Navigating societal expectations in your relationships 34:28 Normalising couples therapy, counseling, and vulnerability 38:58 How do you rebuild confidence after a divorce? 45:22 Advice James Sexton would give to his younger self 47:44 Final thoughts

#5: What's Your Apology Language? May 07, 2024

Show notes

What's your apology language? And, more importantly, what's your partner's? Join Leo, my husband, and I as we dive into the 5 Apology Languages, an insightful concept introduced by Gary Chapman and Dr. Jennifer Thomas, the brilliant minds behind The Love Language. Just as understanding our partner's love language is crucial for fostering connection, grasping their apology language is equally vital for nurturing resilient relationships. In this candid episode, we share personal anecdotes, practical tips, and discover how understanding and speaking each other's apology language can transform our conflicts into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. Take the Apology Language quiz! https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/apology-language Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/ 00:00 Introduction 00:20 Get to know Leo! 01:09 The 5 Apology Languages 02:26 What are our Apology Languages? 03:54 #1 Expressing Regret 04:13 #2 Accepting Responsibility 04:33 #3 Making Restitution 05:02 #4 Planned Changes 05:17 #5 Requesting for Forgiveness 06:04 Talking through our Apology Languages 08:06 How can the Apology Language help relationships? 08:54 Our real life example and how we put it in practice 12:35 Final thoughts

#4: Confronting Loneliness, Hard Lessons, and Cultivating Leadership with Pat Law Apr 30, 2024

Show notes

Embark on a captivating journey with Pat Law, founder of GOODSTUPH, as she shares her remarkable 14-year odyssey through the tumultuous landscape of entrepreneurship. From humble beginnings selling spiders in her childhood to building a multi-million-dollar advertising agency, Pat's story is a testament to resilience, determination, and the relentless pursuit of excellence.

In this episode, Pat opens up about the pivotal moments that shaped her journey, from learning the value of hard work and integrity in her upbringing to confronting the challenges of loneliness and self-doubt as a founder. With candid honesty, she reflects on the lessons learned along the way, both personally and professionally, and how they have shaped her identity as a leader.

Through insightful anecdotes and hard-won wisdom, Pat delves into the core principles that have driven her success, from the importance of honesty and humility to the transformative power of leading by example. She offers invaluable advice to aspiring entrepreneurs and creatives, urging them to embrace the hunger for success and create environments where others can thrive.

Let's dive in.

Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/

Follow Pat Law here: https://www.instagram.com/patlaw/

Check out GOODSTUPH here: https://www.instagram.com/goodstuph/

00:00 Introduction

01:32 Get to know Pat Law

04:05 How Pat Law’s childhood impacted her

14:13 “We are products of our upbringing”

18:16 Key principles that drove Pat Law’s success

19:36 Entrepreneurship can get lonely

22:47 The story behind GOODSTUPH

25:33 Pat Law’s hardest lessons in entrepreneurship