Education

CLOSER with Rachel Lim

CLOSER with Rachel Lim is about the conversations beneath the surface.

Rachel sits down with people who fascinate her to explore not just what they’ve done, but what has shaped who they are: the experiences, relationships, contradictions, failures, beliefs and questions that have made them who they are today.

Alongside long-form conversations are personal reflections from Rachel on what she is learning, unlearning and seeing differently in her own life. There may not always be a clear answer.. but perhaps the point is to come away seeing someone differently, seeing ourselves differently, and feeling a little closer.

To ourselves.

To each other.

To what matters.

Latest Episodes:

Raising Conscious Humans: Raising Children Who Still Tell Us the Hard Things Nov 03, 2026

Show notes

Our children will tell us things we don’t want to hear. What we do in that moment teaches them what to bring us next.

In Episode 3 of Raising Conscious Humans, Hwee Keng Maeder and I talk about why “because I’m your parent!” isn’t the same as real authority, and what it looks like to hold the line without using fear.

In this episode:

•⁠ ⁠The day her youngest lost his MRT card, and why she didn’t bail him out

•⁠ ⁠How she separates a child’s feelings from their actions

•⁠ ⁠What she does when a teenage son’s friends worry her

•⁠ ⁠What her sons have said that stung, and what she took from it

•⁠ ⁠A moment she’s not proud of, and how she repaired it

•⁠ ⁠The moment after the Olympic bronze when she knew her son had grown up

Hwee Keng’s line I keep coming back to: “You want to be right or you want to be close. It’s your choice.” One day, Ollie and Keira will have something hard to tell me. I want to be the person they’re not afraid to tell.

Chapters

00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:00 What Does Authority Without Fear Look Like?
00:01:58 Allowing Children to Own the Consequences of Their Choices
00:06:25 Respect vs. Fear: What Are We Actually Building?
00:08:32 Guiding Their Choices Without Taking Away Their Agency
00:12:58 When We Get It Wrong: Accountability and Repair
00:19:15 How Reframing Changes the Way We Parent
00:21:39 Knowing When to Step Away Before Emotions Take Over
00:23:04 Teaching Children to Disagree Without Disrespect
00:28:46 The Hidden Cost of Fear in Parenting
00:32:38 Helping Children Build Their Own Moral Compass
00:35:51 “Mum, I’m Not Your Friend. I’m Your Son.”
00:40:43 Do You Want to Be Right or Do You Want to Be Close?
00:43:17 What It Means to Raise Children Who Are Fit for Life

Follow CLOSER on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/

Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/

#62: Chloe Tong: Marriage First, Life Beyond Labels & Growing With Grab Oct 20, 2026

Show notes

Chloe Tong opens up about the life behind the roles she is most known for: daughter, wife, mother of five, partner to Grab co-founder and CEO Anthony Tan, and now the work she is building through ACE Team Foundation.

In this conversation, she shares how losing her mother young shaped the way she thinks about love and family, what boarding school taught her about independence, and how growing up gave her the freedom to be both ambitious and maternal.

We go into the early days of her relationship with Anthony, why it began with deep respect before love, why she quit just two weeks after meeting him to build alongside him, the fights that shaped their marriage, and why they made the unconventional decision to put their marriage before their children.

We also talk about motherhood, privilege, service, identity, the pressure of building a family in public, and what it means to create a home that feels steady even when life outside is not. At the heart of the conversation is a question Chloe is still living into: how do you build a life deeply intertwined with others while still becoming more fully yourself?

Chapters

00:00:00 Getting to Know Chloe Tong
00:01:24 Growing Up with the Courage to Speak Up
00:03:42 Learning to Hold Love and Regret Together
00:05:18 Carrying Forward Unconditional Love
00:06:33 Finding Her Voice Away from Home
00:07:52 Knowing When Not to Rescue Your Child
00:09:51 Learning to See Her Mother More Fully
00:11:33 Why Children Don’t Always Need Equal
00:14:03 Wanting Both: Ambition and Motherhood
00:17:50 Meeting Anthony: A Relationship Built on Honesty
00:24:18 Building a Marriage Around Shared Values
00:26:27 Learning to Disagree Without Losing Respect
00:28:17 Choosing to Stay Through the Hard Things
00:31:33 Beyond Titles: Making Space for Every Version of Herself
00:34:12 What It Takes to Hold Family and Work Together
00:36:17 Building a Home That Feels Like Peace
00:38:43 Why Their Marriage Comes Before Their Children
00:44:03 Finding Purpose Through ACE Team Foundation
00:55:05 Building a Family Culture That Works for You
00:56:01 Finding Perspective Through Faith and Family
00:57:15 Who Is Chloe Beyond Everything She Does?
00:58:04 Learning to Put Ego Aside
01:01:52 When Purpose Calls You Beyond Yourself
01:03:25 What Her Mother Would Say Today

Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/

Follow Chloe Tong here: https://www.instagram.com/chloetong/

Follow CLOSER here: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/

Raising Conscious Humans: Raising Children With an Inner Compass Oct 06, 2026

Show notes

When do children stop trusting themselves?

They start out asking why about everything. They know what they like. They challenge us. They follow their curiosity without wondering whether they’re doing it “right”. And then, somewhere along the way, many start looking outside themselves for the answers.

In the 2nd episode of Raising Conscious Humans, I sit down again with Hwee Keng Maeder, mother of three boys, including Singapore’s youngest Olympic medallist, Max Maeder, to talk about how we protect that inner compass instead of slowly overriding it. She tells me, “You can’t want to raise a curious child that doesn’t challenge you. Then it’s not a curious child.”

We talk about knowing when to step in and when not to rescue, including why she resisted bringing her youngest home from a summer camp in Greece even when he called every day asking to leave. We also talk about giving children real responsibility, letting them face consequences, and creating different “pockets” where they can build confidence and self-worth, so their whole identity doesn’t rest on our approval or how well they perform.

And I share a moment with Ollie that made me realise how easily our children’s struggles can start to feel like a reflection of us.

At the heart of it is one question:

How do we raise children who can trust themselves?

Chapters

00:00:00 Introduction
00:02:00 Curious Child vs. Compliant Child
00:03:38 It’s Okay to Say, “Not Right Now”
00:04:49 Honouring the Child’s Agenda, Not Ours
00:08:52 How Good Intentions Can Kill Curiosity
00:11:47 Creating a Safe Space for Questions and Discernment
00:15:11 When to Sit With Discomfort Instead of Rescuing
00:19:11 “Is This for Them, or Is This for Me?”
00:23:21 When Our Child’s Struggle Feels Like Our Failure
00:27:45 Giving Children Space to Build Their Own Confidence
00:33:48 Letting Children Face Consequences
00:37:40 Raising Conscious Humans, Not Compliant Ones
00:39:01 The Mindset Shift That Changes How We Parent

Follow CLOSER on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/

Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/

#61: Dr. Ramani: The Signs of a Narcissistic Relationship & How Not to Lose Yourself Sep 29, 2026

Show notes

The word narcissist gets thrown around a lot. But what does narcissism actually look like in a relationship, and what happens to us when we spend too long trying to manage someone else? In this episode of CLOSER, I sit down with clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Ramani Durvasula to unpack narcissism beyond the label: the subtle signs we often miss, why narcissistic people can be so charming to the outside world, and why the people closest to them can have a completely different experience.

We talk about what it feels like to walk on eggshells, to second-guess what you say, to give endlessly but feel unsupported in return, and how, over time, you can begin silencing parts of yourself just to keep the peace. Dr. Ramani also shares why we cannot change another person's narcissism, what healthy boundaries and realistic expectations can look like, and why compassion for someone else should not require abandoning yourself. We explore healing, self-blame, healthy ego, social media, and how we can raise children with a stronger sense of who they are.

One idea from this conversation stayed with me: more than one thing can be true at the same time. You can love someone and still be hurt by them. You can see the good in them and acknowledge that their behaviour may not change. And sometimes, healing begins with seeing the relationship for what it is, rather than continuing to believe that if we just love better, give more, or say the right thing, we can make it different.

Chapters

00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:26 What Is Narcissism, Really?
00:03:57 Narcissism Is a Spectrum
00:06:12 How Dr. Ramani Recognised Narcissism in Her Own Life
00:08:42 What a Narcissistic Relationship Actually Feels Like
00:12:49 Is Social Media Fueling Narcissism?
00:15:16 How to Raise Children With a Strong Sense of Self
00:19:30 Can a Narcissist Actually Change?
00:21:26 How to Stop Blaming Yourself and Set Boundaries
00:24:36 The Biggest Myths About Narcissism
00:26:12 Healthy Ego vs. Narcissism
00:27:49 When Compassion Becomes Self-Abandonment
00:30:10 “It’s Not You”
00:32:04 Be Their Parent, Not Their Peer
00:35:53 What Dr. Ramani Wants You to Know About Narcissism

Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/doctorramani?stkn=MWcxZXNwdng3YzZteA==

Follow Dr. Ramani Durvasula here:
https://doctor-ramani.com/

Raising Conscious Humans: Raising the Child You Have, Not the Child You Want Sep 15, 2026

Show notes

Hwee Keng said: “There is a personality in that small human being... you don’t know the settings. First, I think you need to find out the settings.”

As parents, we spend so much energy shaping who we hope our children will become, and perhaps not enough time discovering who they already are.

What struck me about Hwee Keng is how much of her parenting has been about unlearning her own expectations. She even caught herself once after feeling disappointed that Max didn’t win a competition, and realised some of that disappointment was about her own ego.

That hit me. Because maybe the work is not raising the child we imagined, but learning to really see the child in front of us.

In this episode, we talk about curiosity over performance, giving children real agency, the difference between “you’ve got this” and “we’ve got you,” responsibility, consequences, and what it means to raise children who are truly fit for life.

Follow CLOSER on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/

Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/

#60: SG's Fastest Woman on What Success Never Taught Her Aug 11, 2026

Show notes

Before Shanti Pereira became Singapore's fastest woman, before she made history on some of the world's biggest stages, she was a ten-year-old girl who lost a few races in primary school and wanted to quit.

That's where we begin. Not with the medals, but with the moments most people never see. Losing both her scholarships within the same week at 22 and sharing, "It really felt like rejection." Getting injured in an Olympic year after achieving her dream of qualifying for Paris on merit, and wondering if she'd even make it to the start line. The unglamorous discipline of showing up on the days she didn't feel like it at all.

What struck me most wasn't Shanti's list of achievements.. it was the way she spoke about identity. About learning not to tie her self-worth to success or failure. About protecting her peace. And about choosing, again and again, not to give up when things get hard.

At the end of every season, whether it's been a good one or a difficult one, she asks herself: "Did I show up?" I think that's a question all of us need from time to time.

I hope you'll enjoy this conversation with Shanti Pereira.

Chapters

00:00:00 Meet Shanti Pereira: The Woman Behind Singapore’s Fastest Sprint
00:01:20 Growing Up in the Shadow of Track and Field
00:03:46 The Childhood Lesson That Changed Everything
00:05:27 Grounded Advice For Her Younger Self
00:06:54 Facing Rejection: Losing Two Scholarships in a Single Week
00:09:14 Defying Failure and Choosing Resilience
00:12:40 Managing Olympic Dreams Amidst Physical Injuries
00:18:09 Staying Grounded: Body Care, Aging, and Reconnecting With Her "Why"
00:20:23 Choosing Stillness Over Chaos at the Starting Line
00:25:12 Tuning Out Public Pressure to Protect Your Joy
00:27:56 How to Reset Your Mindset After a Bad Race
00:30:48 The Powerful Advice That Stayed With Her
00:31:33 Finding Her Identity Beyond Winning and Losing
00:34:23 The Unseen Work and Human Side of Elite Performance
00:36:17 Choosing Consistency and Building Unshakable Habits
00:37:36 Shanti Pereira’s Definition of a Champion
00:39:19 Inspiring the Next Generation of Athletes
00:40:13 Sacrificing Her 20s: Choosing a Different Path Without Regret
00:41:23 Entering a Milestone Decade and Looking Toward Her Next Era
00:43:35 Shanti Pereira’s Recovery Rituals and Wellness Staples
00:45:18 The Message She Hopes to Leave Behind
00:46:05 Staying True to Herself Beyond the Spotlight
00:46:41 Final Reflections

Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/

Follow Shanti Pereira here: https://www.instagram.com/vshantipereira/

#59: What Success Never Prepared Me For with Ingck Jul 22, 2026

Show notes

Most people know Ing as the founder of INGU - the skincare brand that sold out 30,000 units in three minutes with zero advertising. The trusted voice who built a community of millions by doing the one thing his industry often punishes: telling the truth.

But this conversation isn't really about skincare.. it's about what happens after you build something people believe in. The weight of carrying other people's trust. The loneliness of being misunderstood. The panic attacks that made him think he was dying. The goodbye video he filmed, edited, and still hasn't had the courage to post.

For the first time, Ing shares what was happening behind the scenes during one of the biggest seasons of his life, and how it changed the way he thinks about ambition, happiness and success itself. We also talk about the person who answered the phone from a surgery room when Ing thought he was going to die on the floor of a café, and why that relationship ultimately reshaped his definition of what really matters.

I left this conversation seeing success a little differently. I hope you do too.

Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/

Follow Ing here: https://www.instagram.com/ingck/

Follow Ingu Skin here: https://www.instagram.com/inguskin/

#58: What If Your Next Chapter Is Bigger Than You've Imagined? Jul 01, 2026

Show notes

You don't need a crisis to enter a new chapter. Sometimes life is moving along just fine. And yet, you find yourself carrying questions you can't quite shake.

This conversation feels especially meaningful to me. Three years ago, Bill Burnett helped shape one of the biggest chapters of my life. Today, I'm returning to his work because the questions I'm asking have changed, and I need that space again.

Together, we explore why so many of us feel there's "something more," why life was never meant to be a straight line, and how creating the time, space, and structure to think differently can help us navigate what's next with greater clarity, intention, and possibility.

If this conversation resonates with you, Bill and I will be hosting a special CLOSER experience in Singapore on 25th July. We'd love for you to join us as we explore what your next chapter could become.

Sing up for CLOSER x Bill Burnett here: https://tinyurl.com/5n7dkdrb

Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/

Visit Bill Burnett’s website here: https://designingyour.life/

Read ‘Designing Your Life’ here: https://designingyour.life/books-designing-life-original-book/

#57: What 'Kiasu' Culture Is Really Costing Us with Teo You Yenn Jun 16, 2026

Show notes

Most of us have been taught that the pressure Singaporean parents feel is a mindset problem. That we just need to relax. Stop being so kiasu. The data tells a completely different story.

Associate Professor Teo You Yenn spent three years interviewing 92 Singaporean parents across every class background for her new book Unease; and what she found will reframe how you see your own life. Not just parenting. The whole thing.

She makes the case that the exhaustion, the anxiety, the feeling that you're doing everything right and still something is off.. none of it is personal. It's structural. And until we understand that distinction, nothing changes.

We talked about:

Why "kiasu" is not a cultural trait; and what it actually is
What it means that most parents describe their child as a problem to solve
Why Singapore's falling birth rate isn't a fertility problem - it's a conditions-for-family-life problem
The three quiet costs to our society that nobody is talking about
What the opposite of unease actually is (it's not ease)

What stayed with me long after we stopped recording: the way we're living is shaping who we're becoming. As individuals, as parents, as a society. And we haven't stopped to ask if this is who we want to be.

Chapters

00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:36 Meet You Yenn: Exposing the Contradiction of Singaporean Success
00:04:02 Defining “Unease”: The Quiet Struggle of Helplessness in Singapore
00:05:45 Why “Kiasu Mentality” is Too Simple an Excuse
00:07:33 How the System Conditions Singaporeans to Run the Race
00:10:48 The Painful Cost of Losing Agency
00:12:00 Returning to the Original Dream of Prosperity in Singapore
00:14:30 Seeing Our Children Through the Lens of Problems
00:16:49 Reevaluating Our Values Across Class Lines
00:20:48 The Unequal Weight of Motherhood
00:23:42 What Does a “Pro-Family” Society Look Like?
00:25:43 Singapore’s Low TFR: A Fertility Problem or a Family Life Problem?
00:28:01 Singapore’s Obsession with Finding “Top Talents”
00:32:29 Shifting the Narrow Definition of “Family” in Singapore
00:34:17 Writing for a Historian 50 Years from Now
00:36:10 Finding Hope in a Shared Public Resonance
00:39:15 Final Reflections

Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/

Follow You Yenn’s updates here: https://www.instagram.com/ethosbooks/

Purchase ‘Unease: Life in Singapore Families’ here: https://www.ethosbooks.com.sg/products/unease-life-in-singapore-families

Write in to the team at hello@rachreflects.com

#56: Minister Indranee Rajah: What Does It Take to Want a Future in Singapore? May 19, 2026

Show notes

Singapore's total fertility rate has hit a historic low. But this conversation was never really about birth rates.

It was about what modern life actually feels like for many Singaporeans today. The pressure. The exhaustion. The invisible weight of always having to keep up. And the quiet calculation so many people are running; about whether building a family here is something they can imagine, afford, or want.

Minister Indranee Rajah leads Singapore's Marriage and Parenthood Reset. She is also single. And she has no children of her own.

In this conversation, we go beyond policy. We talk about:

The invisible mental load women carry that no support system fully removes
⁠The pressure parents feel before a child is even born - and why it starts earlier than most people realise
⁠The women who have built lives they genuinely love - and aren't sure they want to give that up
What the public reaction to the word "detour" was really saying
What it means to lead this conversation as a single woman without children
The family she lost - and why their absence shaped her understanding of family itself
Whether modern Singaporean life still feels emotionally sustainable enough to build a family within

Chapters

00:00:00 Minister Indranee Rajah: The Minister Tasked With Singapore’s Future
00:02:50 Growing Up Between Two Cultures & Faiths
00:05:59 Her Mother's Greatest Gift
00:06:57 How Her Legal Mindset Shapes Singapore’s Toughest Conversation
00:10:21 Why Singaporeans Are Rejecting the Life Script — Not Family
00:14:36 The Overachievement Culture That Made Good Enough Feel Like Failure
00:17:14 The Growing Pressure of Raising Kids in Singapore
00:21:08 The Invisible Mental Load Women Carry
00:22:31 The Woman Who Hid Her Fertility Treatment From Her Boss
00:23:37 Addressing Singaporean Work Culture & Fertility Stigma
00:29:56 Why Singaporeans Are Choosing Their Quality of Life Over Parenthood
00:32:07 The “Detour” Comment That Sparked Debate
00:35:37 Leading Singapore’s Parenthood Conversation as a Single Woman
00:38:10 Why Baby Bonuses Don’t Apply to Unwed Mothers
00:41:43 Why She's Doing This — Even When Everyone Says It's Impossible
00:44:47 What Makes Her Believe Singapore Can Change