Show notes
Why Dave Decided to talk to Amy Stefanik: "I never knew how to explain what my husband did for work." For years this was Amy's thought process until she decided she needed to change her perspective if she wanted to save her marriage. However, their marriage wouldn't have been salvaged if BOTH of them didn't take the time to understand the other. That's just what Amy is here to help you understand, how you and your significant other can reach a mutual understanding in all things entrepreneurial. Always remember to share your vision with your audience but don't you ever forget to share it with your spouse. Tips and Tricks for You and Your Business: (2:08) The Unconventional, Non-Secure Life and Then Back to Security and Conventional (4:26) A Common Crossroads: Divorce or Understanding (5:23) There Isn't Anything for the Wife of the Entrepreneur's Wife in the Market? (6:18) "How Do I Explain What My Dad Does?" (8:16) The Key to Entrepreneurial Relationships is the Understanding On BOTH Ends (11:30) You're Buying Her Flowers...She Hates Flowers (13:56) Do You Know the Personality Type of of Your Spouse? (14:59) HALT, Not the Time for Conversations (17:20) You Are Forcing Others to Live By Your Self-Written Rulebook (19:14) Channeling Your Entrepreneurial Zeal Into Your Relationships (22:04) Do You Know What Success Means to You Personally? Quotable Moments: (5:02) "I made the decision when we came back together that I was going to know what this business was, because anytime somebody asked what my husband did I wouldn't know what to say…" (8:34) "Really I just think it's the knowledge behind the communication. I believe that knowledge really isn't more important than communication because if you don't know how to communicate with your partner then you're not going to be heard." (15:54) "He can't do these things for me, I have to create this for myself. And then you're two individuals standing right beside yourself not leaning against each other." Other Tidbits: This is the book the ClickFunnels team have all been reading recently "Extreme Ownership" By Jocko Willink Important Episode Links: The Entrepreneur's Wife BookTheEntrepreneursWife.com One Funnel Away Challenge DotCom Secrets Book Email Dave Connect on Facebook Follow On Instagram Episode Transcript: Speaker 1: 00:00 Welcome to funnel hacker radio podcast where we go behind the scenes and uncover the tactics and strategies top entrepreneurs are using to make more sales, dominate their markets and how you can get those same results. Here's your host, Dave Woodward. Everybody, welcome back to [inaudible] Speaker 2: 00:18 Funnel Hacker radio. This is going to be a lot of fun. I've got a dear friend of mine on the show today and I want to introduce you to, and this is Amy's Stefanic. Amy, welcome to show. Thank you for having me today. I'm so excited about it. We met down at the shipoffers dinner with the you and your husband mapped a doubt of T&C. Yeah. And it was great seeing him like that. You were kind enough to send me your book, the Entrepreneur's wife. So for those guys who don't have the book, first of all, go get the book. Entrepreneurswife.com. Uh, we're gonna be talking a lot about this. It's been a fun journey and I'm so excited. Uh, recently I did a couple of podcasts with my wife on this, on funnel hacker radio. So this is kind of a followup to that, but a little background on Amy. Speaker 2: 00:55 Yeah. She's a wife. Three kids. Yeah. Three his mother published author Speaker along with her husband Matt. Uh, they'd been basically riding this whole entrepreneur rollercoaster. I love the way you kind of put that. Uh, she's the creator of the Entrepreneurs wife. And really I think the part I'm most excited about is your desire really kind of to help people understand this idea of this whole one shared vision. Yeah. And I think that's the part that's really tough for a lot of people. I know for my wife, we'd been married 25 years as of last November. It's been a fun roller coaster. There's ups and downs of any marriage, but when you add the entrepreneurial type of life to it, it, it changes things. And as I was talking to you about down in San Diego, my daughter in law, Fran, so my oldest son Chandler is 23, got married last year to Fran. Speaker 2: 01:43 She's from Chile and it's been kind of, it's been interesting getting to know her. And, uh, when she, she grew up, her mom basically, I guess you would say it was an entrepreneur, but her whole view of this whole entrepreneurial thing was every entrepreneur was broke and he didn't have any concept of a wealthy entrepreneur. And so when she met my son who was really trying to go after the whole entrepreneurial thing, her whole thing was, no, no, you have to stay in college. You have to get a degree. And her getting her degree was real important. So she got that and then she got introduced to this whole entrepreneurial life. She followed you and she's like, oh my gosh, I got to figure out more about this. So with all that said, I want to kind of dive into your views on this whole entrepreneurial journey and really what you've created, this whole movement behind the entrepreneur's wife. Speaker 1: 02:35 Yeah, I know. I mean, I feel it was my husband Matt for 17 years. Um, I was kind of the same line as your daughter in law. When I first started, you know, when I first met Matt, he was talking about, yeah, well, you know, dropping out of college and you know, going the entrepreneur route. And I was like, well, I just met the guy and I was like, Gosh, it's very interesting. Like, how are you going to get paid? Like, how are you going to make a paycheck? They didn't understand. I'm like, what's, you know, but I was interested, it was interesting to me that someone was going to create something out of nothing and that, you know, I didn't come from that background. My Dad, you know, worked, my mom stayed home. I have six brothers and sisters. Like it was very conventional and um, and it was just intriguing to me that he was going to create his own path. Speaker 1: 03:18 And so, uh, you know, we got together, we got, you know, and got married and stuff. And at first we were in the real estate game and we were killing it as young, early twenties, like killing the real estate game. It was amazing. I'm like, entrepreneurship is amazing. It's the best thing ever. Well then the real estate market crashed and we lost everything. Three houses, two cars. I mean we had to sell everything. It was the worst one of the worst moments of our lives. And I'm like, I hate entrepreneurship. It's the worst thing ever. And so the, the journey from that depth and then climbing back out and that becoming super successful in internet marketing, um, I went at that moment of that debt and got a job in corporate America and the climb the corporate ladder went from receptionist to director of the risk department and just really created a safety net. Speaker 1: 04:15 That's what that was my like, I'm never going to fall this heart again. This sucks. I'm not doing it again. And so I kind of stepped away from the dream and um, created this safety net and I thought that I was doing good, right? But now looking back, hindsight is hindsight. I wish I would've done things a little differently. And so, you know, climbing out of that hole on creating the safety net and going through the ups and downs, the ebbs and flows of marriage and business. You know, we came to a crossroads where Matt and I were facing divorce. I mean we were just like, we were on separate paths. We just, you know, I was a corporate girl that had this box that I wanted us to live in and he was the hot air balloon that wanted to fly and was just like, like, don't hold me down. Speaker 1: 04:59 And I'm like, you know, we just kind of started to go our separate ways. And so we've looked over the cliff of divorced, we separated and then we decided, you know what, that's, this is not what we want this, you know, we've always been in this together. You know, we had a college of divine intervention and we came back together, but I made a decision. We came back together that I was going to know what this business was because for my entire life, if someone said, what does your husband do? I had no idea. I would be like, he sits in front of the computer, like I don't really know. And so I was like, I have to know I want to go all in. So I do both feet and I learned the business like it was my own and I started working the back end of the business. Speaker 1: 05:44 I wanted to know everything about it, started going to events with Matt and speaking to other entrepreneurs and they were like, you have to talk to my wife. Like please, if you would just talk to her, she would understand that because for so many years I felt like I was on an island. No one understood me. I had my, he should crew. So everybody telling you what I, what he should be doing and when I should be doing. And I was like, ah. And so when I started going to events I'm like, oh my gosh, my Keeble, there are all these people that totally get me that understand. And so I started looking for something for the entrepreneur spouse. And there was articles here and there and maybe like, you know, a pamphlet, but there was really nothing for the entrepreneur spouse, but we're supposed to buying in 100% with no pushback, but we don't have the tools to that. And so I'm like, okay, I'm going to create this platform. And that's where the entrepreneurs, why see you? Speaker 2: 06:34 I love it. I think it's been one of those things for me is I've taken a look. Um, I, Gosh, I'm sure my wife and my kids would probably felt the same thing as far as, gosh, what in the world is, how do you explain what my dad does? And I've, I've gone through a lot of different careers, uh, prior to click funnels. Like, Gosh, I've had, I've been involved in financial services, has been involved in tons in the real estate mortgage industries. Uh, on a side note, I just had fun flipping cars and went, you know, hundreds and hundreds of houses and hundreds of cars and I'm sure my neighbors thought I was a drug dealer with all the cars and things moving up. And in my kids are like, how do you explain what my dad does? And so I think that, um, as you, as you've had the opportunity of talking with other spouses, and I, I, I know you focused primarily on the entrepreneur's wife, but I see there's also the entrepreneur's husband these these days that, yeah. And so it kind of goes both ways. And so as I look at that whole entrepreneurial spouse, what are some of the advice and some of the things that you counsel or you, you provide to them to help them understand this whole crazy entrepreneurial journey? Speaker 1: 07:37 You know, I started with the entrepreneur's wife because that's what I knew, right? But it's kind of has grown into, you know, entrepreneurs, because if you ask Matt, almost every single event that we go to, I ended up sitting in a corner with an entrepreneur, male, and he's crying, telling me how he wishes relationship would be better and he doesn't know how to relate to her. So the net, so that kind of opened my eyes to realize that it's two fold. It has to come from both sides, right? The entrepreneur wants to understand, doesn't understand why their spouse isn't a hundred percent supportive and then the spouse feels like they're not being heard and they don't have stability. And so on top of that's the common thread between the both. And so, you know, it is, um, it's interesting because a lot of the, if you look at all the entrepreneurial couples that I've spoke to, that I've interviewed, that I've coached and mentored, there's always a fine line of similarity between all of them. Speaker 1: 08:35 And that is, you know, I want her or him to understand what I'm doing. I want them to be on board. I want them to be supportive, but I don't know how to get them to understand like what I need. There's a breakdown of communication in a way. And really it's just the knowledge behind the communication. I believe that knowledge is more important than communication because if you don't know how to communicate to your partner, then you're not going to be heard. And so it's really like going, it's going through each process and learning their spouse all over again. Like, you know, I use a lot of techniques that are in business. Like what are your, what is your spouse's personality type? Was their love language? You know, what kind of entrepreneur are they? You know, I know that is a rebel. I can't go to Matt and say we need to do this because he will look at me and say we don't need anything. Speaker 1: 09:24 I know I can't do that. And so I have to know that I have to approach him differently and he knows that I am a rule follower and I like a lot of information. I'm, you know, I always tell them I'm your ride or die. I will go with you. You just have to make me a list so I know what I need to bring and where we're going and what's going to happen. We get there. And so knowing that it makes it easier to say, okay, you're not just being frustrating or a contrarion, this is actually who you are. So let me learn how to communicate with you the way that you are and hold space for that and honor that. And by them doing that, it makes them realize, hey, you know, Speaker 2: 10:03 it Speaker 1: 10:04 brings a whole new level of consciousness and understanding to the marriage and the relationship. Speaker 2: 10:10 I remember years ago we went to Tony Robbins unleash the power within and it was really the first time I got introduced to this whole idea of our six human needs and the idea behind variety and, and stability. And it was, my wife needs that security. She, she longs for that stability. And I am like so far on the opposite as far as variety of like, I want change, I want it. I'm such a risk taker. And it's been interesting as, as we've learned to communicate more effectively through that kind of stuff that I need to always make sure as I'm, as I'm talking with her, that I'm helping her reinforce what is stable. Where is this that I have that I have a plan that it's not completely, I think at times, uh, when we first got married, everything she saw was, I was just, I was literally just going from one thing to another to another and she saw no plan. Speaker 2: 11:00 She was totally freaked out going maybe, and again I loved your idea as far as the he should type of things. I'm sure, well I've lived and still does, he should do this, he should do that, he should do this. Um, my only reason to stay in that is it provides what I've learned personally I guess through it. And she and I were talking about this just recently was the importance for me to have helping her understand that there is a plan and that every entrepreneur rarely does an entrepreneur really go just off the wall all out, no idea what they're going to do and just try to take that kind of risk. For me, entrepreneurship is just the opposite. It's much more of a very calculated risk. But for a person who doesn't understand the calculations that I'm going through, uh, it seems completely just off the wall. Speaker 2: 11:43 Crazy. Why in the world would you ever do something like that? And so I'…
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