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    Health

    Calm AF | Overthinking, Anxiety & Nervous System Regulation

    Calm AF is a podcast about overthinking, anxiety, and learning how to calm your nervous system when your brain won’t shut off. It’s for high performers who look like they have it together on the outside but feel stuck replaying conversations, second-guessing decisions, and carrying way more mental weight than they should have to.

    Hosted by Kristen Finch, this podcast names what’s actually going on beneath the surface—from anxiety and emotional triggers to the patterns that keep capable people feeling internally unsettled.

    You’re capable, trusted, and high-functioning. The goal isn’t to fix you. It’s to understand what’s happening inside your mind and body so the inside can finally match what everyone else already sees on the outside.

    Real conversations. Honest insight. Tools that help you stop overthinking and finally feel calm again.

    Advertise
    • Apple Podcasts
    • Google Play
    • Spotify

    Latest Episodes:
    How Susan Transformed Her Life by Trying Less Jul 23, 2025
    Show notes Calm AF Year is a year-long experiment to see what happens when you LET your life change instead of trying hard to change your life.

    Enrollment opens August 11th. Get on the interest list here.

    Episode 329

    Back in 2021/2022, Susan was doing what lots of you are doing right now. Listening to this podcast, nodding along, feeling seen, knowing that something about this Kristen lady felt SO right.... but still white-knuckling her way through life. Still managing everyone's feelings. Still exhausted from being the person everyone depends on.

    Then she made one decision that changed everything. She heard about a calm AF coaching program I was offering and decided to stop nodding along and take action. She reached out, invested in her future self WITH a very important promise to her (future) self:

    "This is the last thing I'm going to try. This is going to work."

    Four years later? Same house, same husband, same kids - but a radically different human.

    And she did NOT transform every single area of her life by working harder. She did it by doing the opposite.

    In this episode, Susan shares the very first step she took to stop performing her life and start actually living it.

    If you're tired of being anxious, tired of overthinking everything, tired of barely holding it together while managing everyone else's chaos - this conversation is for you.

    Get on the Calm AF Year interest list to get details.

    Resources:

    Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

    The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

    The Upgrade

    You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

    Every week, you'll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

    Private 1:1 Coaching

    "I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn't about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you're planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.


    Energetic Clutter: Why You Feel Soul Tired Jul 16, 2025
    Show notes

    You want to stop carrying everyone else's shit...physical, emotional and energetic?? Calm AF Year is coming.

    Enrollment opens August 11th. It's a year-long experiment to experience how much lighter and calmer you can feel when when you stop accumulating everyone else's stuff and start protecting your own energy. Get on the interest list here.

    Ever feel like you're carrying invisible weight? Like you're soul-tired even when your schedule isn't that crazy? That heaviness you can't explain has a name: energetic clutter.

    Welcome to Part 4 of our Internal Clutter series, where we tackle the sneakiest drawer of all - the one filled with everyone else's emotional stuff.

    What You'll Learn in This Episode:
    • Why you feel heavy even when life is good
    • How to recognize what's yours vs. what you've absorbed from others
    • The sneaky ways energetic clutter builds up in your system
    • Why being an "energetic sponge" leaves you feeling depleted
    • Simple practices to clear your energetic space
    • How environmental energy imprints affect your daily life
    • The real impact of digital emotional overload
    • Practical ways to protect your energy without becoming cold or disconnected
    Key Takeaways:

    "You're not just tired because life is hard. You're tired because you're carrying years of accumulated emotional debris that was never yours to begin with."

    Most of the energetic clutter weighing you down isn't even yours. Every anxious person you encounter deposits a little anxiety in your system. Every tense conversation leaves residue. Every chaotic environment you walk through leaves some of its chaos behind.

    This stuff compounds over time, which is why the heaviness feels more obvious as life goes on. You're not just feeling what you absorbed today - you're carrying the buildup of years of taking on everyone else's emotional stuff.

    This Episode is Perfect for You If:
    • You feel drained after certain conversations or being around specific people
    • You walk into rooms and immediately pick up on the "energy" or tension
    • You feel overwhelmed after scrolling social media for just a few minutes
    • You're tired in a way that sleep doesn't fix
    • You can't figure out why you feel heavy when nothing particularly bad happened
    • You suspect you're carrying emotional weight that isn't yours
    Previous Episodes in the Internal Clutter Series:
    • (325) Part 1: Naming the Problem - Your Internal Junk Drawers Are Overflowing
    • (326)Part 2: Mental Clutter - The 47 Open Tabs in Your Brain
    • (327) Part 3: Emotional Clutter - The Feelings You've Shoved Down for Years

    Get on the Calm AF Year interest list to get details.

    Resources:

    Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

    The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

    The Upgrade

    You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

    Every week, you'll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

    Private 1:1 Coaching

    "I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn't about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you're planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.


    How to Clear Your Emotional Junk Drawer + Stop Stuffing Down Feelings Jul 09, 2025
    Show notes

    Sign up for the Calm AF Year waitlist here

    Ever feel like emotions hit you out of nowhere? You're driving to work and suddenly sobbing, or you feel rage after someone does something slightly annoying?

    Friend...your emotional junk drawer is overflowing.

    In this episode, I'm diving deep into the invisible emotional clutter we've been shoving down our entire lives and why it's stealing your energy, blocking your joy, and keeping you from living fully.

    What You'll Learn:

    • The signs your emotional junk drawer is full and overflowing
    • Why we were taught to stuff emotions down (and why it's not your fault)
    • What's actually cluttering up your emotional space right now
    • The cost of carrying decades of unprocessed feelings
    • My simple "feelings room" technique for emotional decluttering
    • How to stop adding new emotional clutter to your system
    Resources:

    Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

    The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

    The Upgrade

    You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

    Every week, you'll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

    Private 1:1 Coaching

    "I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn't about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you're planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.


    Mental Overwhelm for High Achievers: Why You Feel Foggy and How to Clear the Clutter" Jul 02, 2025
    Show notes

    If you're so smart, WHY does your brain feel like a junk drawer that's been stuffed so full you can barely get it open?

    In this episode, we're talking about what's actually cluttering up your mental junk drawer and why the same brain that got you where you are might be what's trapping you there.

    We're talking about:

    • The 4 types of mental clutter that high performers collect (and why you can't think your way out of it)
    • Why more thinking leads to more uncertainty, not more clarity
    • The simple 4-step process to start cleaning out your mental junk drawer today
    • How to stop drowning in your own competence

    This isn't about productivity hacks or morning routines. This is about clearing the noise so you can hear yourself think again.

    Sign up for the Calm AF Year waitlist here

    Resources:

    Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

    The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

    The Upgrade

    You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

    Every week, you'll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

    Private 1:1 Coaching

    "I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn't about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you're planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.


    Your Internal Clutter- How Your Junk Drawers Got So Full and How to Declutter Jun 25, 2025
    Show notes

    Feeling overwhelmed by racing thoughts, emotional overload, and constantly absorbing everyone else's energy?

    You're not broken - you just have some internal junk drawers that are overflowing.

    In this episode, we explore the three invisible junk drawers in your mind: mental, emotional, and energetic clutter that's been accumulating for years.

    You'll also learn why trying to fix the problem from the outside fails and the daily maintenance approach that actually works for lasting calm.

    Sign up for the Calm AF Year waitlist here

    Resources:

    Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

    The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

    The Upgrade

    You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

    Every week, you'll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

    Private 1:1 Coaching

    "I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn't about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you're planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.


    Little Fires Everywhere: Why High Achievers Are Always Burned Out (And How To Stop) Jun 18, 2025
    Show notes

    You're the one everyone turns to when things go sideways.

    You stay calm when the stakes are high.

    You SHINE under pressure.

    So why are you so burned out?

    In this episode of Calm AF, I'm breaking down the real reason high achievers feel like they're constantly putting out fires—and why your nervous system can't seem to turn off, even when there's nothing actually burning.

    We're talking about:

    • Why hypervigilance isn't the secret to your success

    • What firefighters can teach you about calm under pressure

    • How your nervous system turns minor stress into five-alarm panic

    • The identity trap of being "the one who holds it all together"

    • Why regulating BEFORE the pressure hits is the actual flex

    If you're tired of living like every moment is an emergency, this episode will feel like a permission slip and a wake-up call.

    Links & Resources:

    • The Upgrade 90 days of guided transformation—from hyper achiever to Calm AF high performer. Every week, you'll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get direct access to me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

    • Secret Podcast: HyperAchiever to High Performer A free audio series to help you make the transition from an overwhelmed overachiever to a regulated, calm AF high performer.
    • Come say hi on Instagram: @kristenfinch10

    • Subscribe + leave a review if this episode landed with you


    A Commencement Speech for Grownups: Jun 11, 2025
    Show notes

    Today's episode is a little different than what you're used to hearing. Today I wrote US a commencment speech.

    Inspired by my son's high school graduation, I started thinking about all the ways adults are graduating: out of relationships, into relationships, out of old roles, into new chapters, out of versions of ourselves that no longer fit.

    But we rarely pause to celebrate those transitions. In fact, we usually shame ourselves for them.

    Not today.

    This speech is for the 38-, 48-, 58-year-old who's starting over. Starting again. Moving into a new chapter. It's a love letter to your resilience, your wisdom, and your still-unfolding story.

    In this episode, you'll hear:

    • Why every ending is actually a graduation

    • What midlife commencement really looks like (hint: pet hair + coffee stains included)

    • The truth about possibility, purpose, and starting over

    • A powerful reminder that you're right on time, exactly as you are

    Whether you're navigating a breakup, a career pivot, an empty nest, or just a quiet inner shift—you're not behind. You're on the brink. The world is still yours.

    Links & Resources:

    • The Upgrade 90 days of guided transformation—from hyper achiever to Calm AF high performer. Every week, you'll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get direct access to me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

    • Secret Podcast: HyperAchiever to High Performer A free audio series to help you make the transition from an overwhelmed overachiever to a regulated, calm AF high performer.
    • Come say hi on Instagram: @kristenfinch10

    • Subscribe + leave a review if this episode landed with you


    7 Strategies to Get the Best Out of Yourself and Everyone Around You May 28, 2025
    Show notes

    In this episode, we're talking about how to be the kind of leader, partner, parent, and friend that inspires the very best in others—and yourself.

    You already know how to push, nudge, and motivate yourself. But is the way you are leading yoruself the same way you are showing up for others? And if not, why not?

    I'm sharing the 7 ways you motivate yourself to be your best and how to start applying these same strategies to others:

    1. Keeping people down when they're struggling 2. Shaming instead of compassion 3. Withholding love until they're "worthy" 4. Keeping score of their failures 5. Comparing them to everyone else 6. Disappearing when they need support 7. Only celebrating perfection

    And if you're curious about how to start upgrading your old, tired strategies to ones that might actually work (without the burnout)—I've got resources for you.

    Resources Mentioned:

    • Private Podcast: From Hyperachiever to High Performer Click here to access it!

    • The Upgrade [YOUR_UPGRADE_LINK_HERE]


    A Client Story: This is What Real Nervous System Regulation Sounds Like May 23, 2025
    Show notes

    How many times have you tried to set a boundary but then backed down.

    Today's bonus episode features a powerful Voxer message from one of my Upgrade clients—brought to life with a little AI magic (to keep my private clients private).

    What you'll hear is what this work ACTUALLY sounds like. What is possible when you don't just know how to regulate in structured moments, but in real life.

    No spiraling. No shutdown. Just clarity, boundaries, and calm.

    This is exactly what we practice inside The Upgrade—and from May 23rd until May 26th, you get $300 off the full program.

    Grab your spot now—doors close Monday, May 26:

    Inside the Upgrade, you'll learn how to:

    • Speak without overexplaining

    • Say no without apologizing

    • Lead without control

    • Rest without shutting down

    • Stay regulated—not just in moments, but as your default

    You get: 12 weeks private coaching via Voxer Weekly private podcast episodes Access to the Regulated course Daily bite-sized reminders in your inbox

    This is for you if you're tired of working so hard to calm down –– because it obviously doesn't work like that.

    Let's do this together.


    How High Achievers Can Avoid Summer Burnout: Mastering Nervous System Regulation May 20, 2025
    Show notes

    Summer is supposed to feel freeing—but for hyper achievers, it often feels anything but.

    In this episode, we're pulling back the curtain on why summer is actually the most dysregulating season of the year for high performers, energy managers, and people pleasers. If you've ever felt guilty for not enjoying your "time off," or found yourself craving September more than sunshine, this one's for you.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    • Why the lack of routine in summer can trigger nervous system chaos

    • How the Calm AF Scale helps you avoid swinging between hypervigilance and total shutdown

    • What a regulated, grounded summer can look like—and how to create it

    Important Dates
    • Enrollment for The Calm AF Summer Upgrade: May 23–26

    • Program Start Date: June 1

    Resources:

    → The Private Podcast Series: From Hyper Achiever to High Performer → The Upgrade Coaching Program → Private 1:1 Coaching Application


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