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    Kids & Family

    Bible Stories for Heathen Children

    I’m Robbie, and I tell family-friendly, fun, and somewhat irreverent retellings of Bible stories for kids who aren’t already familiar with them. I couldn’t find the stories told as myth without attempts at indoctrination, so I’m trying to do that. The audience I always have in mind for my stories are my two brilliant and sarcastic children, ages 8 and 9. Text versions will be posted for free at https://www.patreon.com/BSFHC .Subscribe to my Patreon for bonus content and early access to episodes! (My Patreon is currently on hold.) Make a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/robbiebsfhc.

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    Copyright: © 2023 Bible Stories for Heathen Children

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    Latest Episodes:
    30 - Early Christianity May 14, 2020
    Show notes

    The adventures of Peter continue as Robbie tells some last bits of the Gospels and the beginning of the book of Acts.
    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc.

    Support the show


    29 - Girl Power in Judges: Deborah and Jael May 07, 2020
    Show notes

    The story of Deborah - the judge of Israel - and Jael, who defeated the bad guy. This was probably THE quintessential Girl Power Bible Story of my childhood.

    Come for the girl power, stay for the explanation of ancient chariots in warfare and mockery of the Canaanite commander for failing at basic war strategy.

    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc.

    Support the show


    28 - Jonah and the Giant Fish (or Possibly Whale) Apr 30, 2020
    Show notes

    The famous tale in which a reluctant prophet is swallowed by a giant fish (or whale, depending on how didactic your Sunday School teacher was).
    Jonah flees God’s presence because he’s afraid he’ll be a successful prophet.


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    27 - Mary Magdalene and the Resurrection of Jesus Apr 12, 2020
    Show notes

    Early Sunday morning, Mary Magdalene gathers spices and goes to Jesus’ tomb to anoint his body with them. But when she gets there, she meets someone she did not expect.

    The final episode in a 7 episode series about Jesus & the Easter Story.

    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc.


    Support the show


    26 - The Death of Jesus Apr 10, 2020
    Show notes

    The Sanhedrin votes that Jesus is guilty of blasphemy and sends him to the Roman governor, Pontius Pilate, to have him crucified. Although Pilate wants nothing to do with Jesus, in the end the religious leaders get their way, and Jesus carries his cross toward the Place of the Skull.

    The sixth episode in a 7 episode series about Jesus & the Easter Story.

    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc.

    Support the show


    25 - Jesus' First Trial and Peter's Denials Apr 09, 2020
    Show notes

    After Jesus’ arrest, he is taken to the house of the high priest, Caiaphas, to stand trial before the Sanhedrin. Peter tries to follow, but when someone recognizes him as a follower of Jesus, how will he respond?

    The fifth episode in a 7 episode series about Jesus & the Easter Story.

    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc.

    Support the show


    24 - Jesus is Arrested Apr 02, 2020
    Show notes

    Jesus has "the last supper".

    Jesus celebrates the Passover surrounded by his closest friends, but he is afraid of being alone. He knows one of his closest friends will betray him & the rest of the disciples will scatter.

    This is the fourth episode in a 7 episode series about Jesus & the Easter Story. There will be 3 episodes next week to finish the series - on Thursday, Friday, and Sunday.


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    23 - Jesus Enters Jerusalem Mar 26, 2020
    Show notes

    Jesus is at the height of his popularity. He enters Jerusalem in a triumphant parade, purges the temple (again?), heals many people, and outsmarts the religious leaders. Jerusalem is packed with Passover visitors & Jesus is who everyone's talking about.

    The 3rd of 7 episodes about Jesus and the Easter story.


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    Ep 22 - Jesus Sets His Face Toward Jerusalem Mar 19, 2020
    Show notes

    The story of Jesus continues as he tries to prepare friends, enemies, and frenemies for his climactic rise and fall.

    The second in a series about Jesus & the Easter Story.

    Support the show


    21 - Jesus Feeds the 5,000 (etc.) Mar 12, 2020
    Show notes

    This episode tells the story of the sad demise of John the Baptist and the story of Jesus feeding & healing people by magic. Also Jesus walks on water, which is fun. Also Jesus began to irritate and worry the country's leaders, which is either more or less fun depending on how well you like political drama and stuff. It's the first of 5 episodes in a series about the Easter narrative.

    Support the show


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