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    Kids & Family

    Bible Stories for Heathen Children

    I’m Robbie, and I tell family-friendly, fun, and somewhat irreverent retellings of Bible stories for kids who aren’t already familiar with them. I couldn’t find the stories told as myth without attempts at indoctrination, so I’m trying to do that. The audience I always have in mind for my stories are my two brilliant and sarcastic children, ages 8 and 9. Text versions will be posted for free at https://www.patreon.com/BSFHC .Subscribe to my Patreon for bonus content and early access to episodes! (My Patreon is currently on hold.) Make a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/robbiebsfhc.

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    Copyright: © 2023 Bible Stories for Heathen Children

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    Latest Episodes:
    40 - Daniel, Part Three: The Writing on the Wall and the Lions' Den Nov 05, 2020
    Show notes

    In this episode, Daniel interprets an ominous message for Nebuchadnezzar's heir. Later he must survive threats caused by the jealousy of the other wise men, as well as the hubris of a new king.

    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Please consider becoming a Patron there as well, to help us keep the podcast going and to get access to Patron-exclusive bonus content!

    Support the show


    39 - Daniel, Part Two: Nebuchadnezzar's Announcement Oct 22, 2020
    Show notes

    A sequel to the last episode from the book of Daniel. In this episode Robbie is interrupted by an important stranger from another time, King Nebuchadnezzar, here to tell a story to the world about his thrilling adventure in which God does bad things to him just because God can. Isn’t that great news?

    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Please consider becoming a Patron there as well, to help us keep the podcast going and to get access to Patron-exclusive bonus content!

    Support the show


    38 - Daniel, Part One Oct 08, 2020
    Show notes

    Join us for some stories from the book of Daniel, which tell the adventures of a boy named Daniel and his three friends living in exile in Babylon. Babylon is ruled by King Nebuchadnezzar, who thinks very highly of his own leadership skills and who will kill anyone he needs to in his attempts to seek wisdom and to unify his vast conquered lands.

    Will Daniel and his three friends stand up for what they believe is right, even despite threats and punishment from the Babylonian ruler? Will they survive King Nebuchadnezzar's idea of justice?

    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Please consider becoming a Patron there as well, to help us keep the podcast going and to get access to Patron-exclusive bonus content!

    Support the show


    37 - Joshua and the Battle of Jericho Sep 24, 2020
    Show notes

    This week we tell the story of the Israelites entering the Promised Land, 40 years after their exodus from Egypt. With Moses gone, his assistant, Joshua, steps up to lead the people. It’s a story about spying, subterfuge, and another one of God's convoluted battle plans!
    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Please consider becoming a Patron there as well, to help us keep the podcast going and to get access to Patron-exclusive bonus content!

    Support the show


    36 - David and Goliath as a Dungeons & Dragons Campaign Sep 10, 2020
    Show notes

    The podcast's one-year anniversary is this month! To celebrate, we're releasing a special episode that was previously exclusive to our $5 Patrons. Robbie's younger child, K, liked the story of David and Goliath and wondered: What might it be like if it were a Dungeons and Dragons campaign? Well, with the help of the rest of the family, K offers an answer in this episode.

    Starring:
    K as the Dungeon Master (also plays Non-Player Characters like Samuel and Goliath)
    Robbie as Saul
    A as David
    Luke as God

    (Plug: Please consider supporting the podcast on Patreon to help keep it going. Patrons get each episode two days early, side notes for each episode, and (at the $5 level) a bonus episode every month!)
    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc.


    Support the show


    35 - The Story of Satan Aug 27, 2020
    Show notes

    This week we’re talking about Satan, the Devil, the enemy of God. But telling his story isn’t straightforward, because he doesn’t really have a story of his own -- he just shows up in various other stories in the Bible. In the first section of the episode, we go on a quick tour through most of those stories and talk about how white evangelical Christianity views the devil. Then, in the second section, we use some of the elements from the traditional narrative to tell a new origin story of Lucifer, or Satan, the original freethinker. Hope you enjoy!

    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Please consider becoming a Patron there as well, to help us keep the podcast going and to get access to Patron-exclusive bonus content!

    Support the show


    34 - The Story of Exodus, Part Three Aug 13, 2020
    Show notes

    The Israelites have finally made it out of Egypt and crossed the Red Sea! Now they journey to Mount Sinai, the “mountain of God,” where God had appeared to Moses in the burning bush. But God and the people have a lot of problems and challenges ahead. What happens when enemies attack? How will the people get food and water in the desert? Can a holy god talk to his people without killing them? What happens when the new leader, Moses, disappears on the mountain for over a month? Find out in this action-packed third installment of the Exodus story.

    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Please consider becoming a Patron there as well, to help us keep the podcast going and to get access to Patron-exclusive bonus content!

    Support the show


    33 - The Story of Exodus, Part Two Jul 26, 2020
    Show notes

    The Exodus story continues! "Let my people go," God says to Pharaoh through Moses and Aaron. But Pharaoh refuses, again and again, to free the Hebrews. And so begin the ten plagues, as the God of Israel takes on the gods of Egypt, culminating in the night of Passover. But as the Hebrews finally pack up and leave in a hurry, will Pharaoh just sit and watch them go? (Spoiler: Nope!)
    We'll be back in two weeks for part three of the story, as the Hebrews journey into the wilderness, making their way toward the same mountain where God had spoken to Moses in the burning bush.
    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Please consider becoming a Patron there as well, to help us keep the podcast going and to get access to Patron-exclusive bonus content!

    Support the show


    32 - The Story of Exodus, Part One Jul 16, 2020
    Show notes

    This week we begin covering one of the most important stories in the Bible, the Exodus of the Hebrews from Egypt! It happens several hundred years after the story of Joseph, which we covered in episodes 19 and 20. This week we cover the early life of Moses (that is, his first 80 years or so) and follow his adventures from Egypt to Midian and back, as God appoints him the unlikely leader of the great Exodus. I also take a few minutes at the end of the episode to discuss how important this story has been to people facing oppression throughout history. I’ll be back in two weeks for part two, featuring the showdown of the God of the Hebrews vs. the gods of Egypt!
    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Please consider becoming a Patron there as well, to help us keep the podcast going and to get access to Patron-exclusive bonus content!

    Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/bsfhc)

    Support the show


    31 - Peter Does His Own Miracles Jul 02, 2020
    Show notes

    The podcast returns from hiatus! I'm glad to be back! Picking up from our last episode, we follow Peter and the other disciples, er, apostles, as they preach about Jesus, perform miracles, and clash with the religious leaders. I also talk a bit about the ethical problems with mission work and with treating people with disabilities as props to advance your message.
    Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Please consider becoming a Patron there as well, to help us keep the podcast going and to get access to Patron-exclusive bonus content! This month, $5 patrons get access to a special episode where my family and I act out the story of David and Saul as a Dungeons & Dragons session.

    Support the show


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