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**Being A Better Man**

This show is about the character of men rather than the trappings of manhood. We will discuss the challenges men face from day to day, relationships, and personal accountability. We will talk about the finer points of manhood, and what it means to be a man in these modern times. It is all designed to lead up to a decision; the decision to be a better man today, than we were yesterday.

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105 – Focus On The Journey Sep 23, 2016

Show notes

FOCUS ON THE JOURNEY…

I got a letter from a friend today. He’s a young man, I met him because he reached out to me as a listener of this show and we became friends.

In his letter he described his on-going struggle. He has a strong desire to be a better man. He is trying to apply the things I talk about on this show and things I’ve shared with him personally.

He feels like the harder he try’s, the harder it becomes. He is wrestling with some things like a video game addiction, some family issues, and some of the other things that we all encounter on this path of being a better man.

He said he feels like there is an invisible ceiling in his way…he keeps looking for the improvement, for some good to come out of his efforts and he doesn’t always see them. In the meantime he keeps pushing on, trying to be a better man but feeling discouraged, like he is fighting a losing battle.

I decided to share this with you because it occurred to me that if he is experiencing this…then there is a good chance many of you are. The struggle is real. Now I’m going to share an excerpt of my reply to him, and then expound on that a bit.

I told him;

“I have found that nothing worth while is ever easy…nothing.

It might help to focus on the journey, rather than the destination. In other words, don’t get bogged down thinking about where you are trying to get to…do not focus on what you perceive is lacking, because that will expand those things.

Instead focus on the journey! The day, hour, moment you are living in. Focus on the things you are doing well, because then those things will expand. Really, all we have control over is each moment we are living in, prepare yourself for a slow, incremental improvement, and keep living in the present. Because the past is gone, the future hasn’t even happened…all you have is right now. That invisible ceiling you spoke of may be the future…or the past, make it irrelevant by focusing on the moment.

Of course you will have failures, we all do. Don’t focus on them or beat yourself up over them. Just acknowledge them, learn from them, and drive on forward, with the intention of not repeating them. And don’t forget to celebrate your victories…because you will have those too.

Hang in there man, the fact that you are trying is huge in itself.”

So that’s what I wrote to him, and I hope it helps. Look, in these days we live in we are so accustomed to instant gratification, we have become programed for it.

I can totally see how a guy would make a decision he wants to be a better man and then wake up the next day feeling discouraged…because he doesn’t feel that much better yet. Because of our programming, we want to be a better man instantly, and then go on with our lives…but it doesn’t work that way guys.

Like I told him, we have to focus on the journey itself. It’s not something that there is even an end to. The end will come when you stop breathing, in the meantime all we have is this moment we are living in.

It might seem tedious, and slow…and it is. But each day as we consciously do something, every time we seize an opportunity to be a better man…the wheel is turning forward.

If you are living in your past, or bogged down in a future that hasn’t even happened, then you can’t see the progress. That’s why its so important to live in the moment, because then, you can see it! Living in the moment you will have the capacity to acknowledge the things you do well, you will be able to celebrate your victories and be aware of your progress. That’s what focusing on your journey is all about.

Also, like I told him, focusing on the things that are not right, focusing on the things you perceive you lack, or aren’t good at, or that need improvement…will only serve to make those things bigger and more difficult to deal with.

You might be wondering how you are supposed to improve those things if you don’t focus on them. Good question, here’s how.

There are two sides to every coin, right? So for example, lets say you have a problem…like…umm, you swear too much, for an example. You offend women and children with your language everywhere you go and you realize you would be a better man if you could tone that down, that’s the problem.

OK, one side of this coin is you are focused on the fact that you swear too much, you are focused on how you feel it is wrong, you are focused on the guilt and shame you feel when you see the eyes of mothers as they hurry to get their children away from your fowl mouth. That’s one side of the coin. If you focus on these things, they will expand.

The other side of the coin is focusing on not swearing, rather than swearing. Focusing on how great you feel every time you don’t offend people with your language, focusing on how people will regard you differently and respect you more because you can carry on a conversation without offending anyone. Focusing on the fact that you are being a better example of manhood. If you focus on these things, they will expand.

See the difference? One side of the coin is purely negative, the other side is purely positive, even though they are about the same thing.

Think of every issue you are dealing with as a coin. It’s your choice which side of the coin you decide to focus on…whatever you choose, that is what will expand, that is what will get results. Choose wisely, and be patient.

If you re-program yourself to live in the moment and focus on the positive one year from now you will be a better man, five years from now you’ll be even better, and you will continue to improve incrementally until you die. Having left a legacy of a man who lived each day as a better man, than he was the day before.

That’s it for today guys. Hey don’t forget to join the Facebook page, and I’m on twitter @Alfbeingbetter. While your’e here at the website, write me a letter, I’d love to hear your thoughts about today’s show or about whatever challenges you might be facing.

While your’e here, also check out the Manly Resource Center, I’m in the process of building that page and adding more affiliates of products and services I use. Check out our sponsor, audible.com and use the link below to download a free audio book.

Now head out into the weekend, remember every coin has two sides…focus on the positive side to effect the changes you want, be patient, and you will be a better man today, than you were yesterday.

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104 – Ticket To Freedom Sep 21, 2016

Show notes

TICKET TO FREEDOM…

Story Time with Alf is here!

Every Wednesday I regal you with a story from somewhere in my unusual and interesting life. It could be funny, sad, serious or disturbing, the important thing is that every story has a lesson. Today’s story id Ticket To Freedom.

Even though these are my stories, you can apply these lessons to your own life, or perhaps they will remind you of your own similar story and the lessons you learned from it. Either way, you should be entertained.

As you listen I really want you to consider your own stories, when did you learn these lessons? Can you remember? Sometimes digging up your own past can have great benefit, especially if you are made to remember that one singular moment in time when you learned something vital. It’s almost like learning it all over again. That…is the purpose of these stories.

In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories. It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next. The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today.

Today’s story, called Ticket To Freedom, is a coming of age story. I wasn’t sure what the lessons were when I started…I didn’t think there were any. But then, during the telling of it, I realized what they were. There is always a lesson to every story.

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103 – A Female Perspective Of Manhood Sep 19, 2016

Show notes

A FEMALE PERSPECTIVE OF MANHOOD…

I’m going to get right in to today’s topic, this idea came to me from a listener, a young woman in Colorado. Yes…women listen to Being A Better Man too.

I’m really glad she sent me this idea, because it’s important to consider the female perspective. Women comprise about half of the world population and their input and contribution is vital to the continuation of our species and our civilization.

Also…women provide us with a very important, very real perspective of manhood. A perspective that we would probably never realize on our own because…we are men. Our experience in the world is very different.

This listener shared a perspective with me that I probably would not have come up with on my own, but after reading it, I could see the truth in it and I think it needs to be addressed.

This listener is a professional woman in her 20’s, a college graduate, and she contends that most women see two primary ways in which men try to assert their masculinity in the world.

As I go over this try not to get activated…don’t try to judge the truth or accuracy of her position as it applies to you. The thing is…its valid, because this is her perception, and if she see’s it this way then it’s likely a lot of other women do as well. So lets learn what we can from this.

So here is what she said; Type A is the smooth operator, the ladies man, the guy with “game”, sexual prowess, the guy that is all about hooking up and putting notches on his bedpost. If this type A guy isn’t especially good looking, then he probably has a lot of money, and he uses it to entice women and effectively purchase his masculinity.

Type B comes from a place of aggression rather than sex. In her words; he “spends endless hours doing upper-body workouts at the gym and getting into bar fights to show the other guys how “alpha” he is.” We all know guys like this, they can be loud and over-bearing in social settings.

She went on to say that aside from type A and B, there is also type C. She said type C guys are the worst from her point of view. She said, and I quote: “this is the most terrifying and annoying group from a women’s perspective because these men act as though your refusing to go on a date, dance with them, or accept a drink is directly denying them of their natural “right” to manhood. When this feeling occurs, these guys will move on from the “sex” method of obtaining “manhood” to the next method, which is to become verbally, and sometimes physically or sexually violent.”

I have heard of this before, though I can’t say I have personally witnessed it…good thing too because the guy would probably wind up in the hospital. But I have heard of young women complaining that when they refuse the advances of a guy he immediately becomes abusive, calling her names or whatever. As though there is a culture of men of a certain age who seem to think they are entitled to whatever woman they desire…as though simply the act of breathing should be enough to win a woman affections.

I don’t know when or how this culture started happening, or what age of men practice this the most…but I do know it’s a horrible thing. Behavior like this is the complete opposite of what it means to be a man in my opinion. They are behaving more like animals.

This listener then went on to describe yet another class of men…Type D. These are the guys who don’t fall onto any of the other categories. They aren’t really good with women, or it’s not a priority… they aren’t physically intimidating or good at sports, they don’t make a lot of money, etc.

These type D guys are often called nerds, geeks, or losers, and regarded as “un-manly” by types A,B, and C. I personally feel bad for these guys, I know the type, they feel invisible in the world, they have no confidence in social situations and I think many of them don’t even think of themselves or identify as a man very often. It’s tragic, because in every one of them there is a dormant man who is living an unrealized life. A lot of these guys reclaim their masculinity by immersing themselves in the fantasy world of video games where they can be whoever they want, but it’s not real.

Our listener who contributed this topic contends that it is these type D guys who eventually break, and are responsible for the majority of tragic, random events like school shootings and whatnot. I’m not certain this is true…but it kind of makes sense.

She went on to say that there was another type of man, unlabeled by a letter. Guys like me and you, the listeners of this show who are actively committed to being better men. I thought it was nice of her to throw that in. She said we restore her faith in humanity.

After I read her whole letter I felt a little sad. It made me sad that there are women in the world who think of manhood in these four categories; A,B,C, and D. What added to my sadness was that I have known and seen people in these exact four categories she described…and so have you I bet. It’s no wonder that this is a prevailing perception among women.

Imagine your daughter or some other woman in the world you care about who has to contend with one of these choices every day. Imagine if there were no other choices beyond this…who would become the fathers and leaders of the next generation?

Thankfully, there are other choices beyond these four categories. Men like you. Men who have decided there is more to being a man than being a badass, or sleeping with as many women as he can. Men who think it is a privilege to share their strength instead of imposing it. Men who respect other people, who understand that being a man is a great responsibility and that we have an obligation to be an example everywhere we go. Men like you, who are interested in being a better man today than you were yesterday.

Thankfully, we do exist in the world, but merely existing may not be enough. It seems with each new generation, men like us are becoming a smaller and smaller percentage of the population. That’s why I think it’s more important than ever to be an example everywhere we go. At work, at school, at restaurants and even in traffic! I think it’s part of our responsibility to also promote this thinking, to spread it among our peers, to speak openly and unapologetically about the virtues of manhood, and about our desire to be better men.

See, I have another theory. I think there are a lot of guys in the afore mentioned A,B,C,and D categories that might be there simply because they were never taught another way. I don’t think most guys truly enjoy being a douchebag…they are usually emulating someone else, they lack direction and instruction on what manhood really means. I think a lot of these guys, when they see you, being a better man and speaking out about it, living a life of perpetual improvement…I think they might realize there is another choice. That is the power of example. That is the power you possess to make a difference in the world as a man.

I want to thank our female listener again, thanks for reaching out and sharing your perceptions with us, and I invite anyone else listening to do the same.

I also want to thank our sponsor, audible.com, you can download a free audio book about whatever you want, you aren’t obligated to buy anything, you have a whole month to see if you want to continue and the book is yours to keep, it’s a great deal! To take advantage of that go to www.beingabettermanpodcast.com/book.

Alright guys, now head out into the world, and think about this stuff as you go through the week. Be concerned about the perception women and children and other men have of manhood, and be the example. In your circle of people set the standard of what it means to be a man. By doing so, you will be a better man today than you were yesterday.

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102 – Own Your Weekend Sep 16, 2016

Show notes

OWN YOUR WEEKEND…

::::WARNING:::: THIS TURNED INTO KIND OF A RANT…just an FYI

It’s Friday, and everyone is preparing for the weekend. I have some pretty big plans for this weekend myself and I am looking forward to it.

I love weekends personally. Not because I don’t have to go to work…I actually don’t mind working, I often do a lot of podcast work on the weekends because I enjoy it.

I like weekends because that is when most of the other people I know are not working. Thats my opportunity to interact with family members and friends. Thats when all the family birthday parties and anniversaries are. The weekend is usually when most people get married. Most of the big things that happen in peoples lives, happen on the weekend because that is when “most” people are off work.

Notice I said “most” people. There are many, many people in our society that have to work on weekends…and I personally, think that is kind of tragic.

Some of these jobs I totally understand…like police officers, hospital workers, ambulance drivers and firemen. We actually need these people to work on the weekends. But that is something that is well known and understood…those people knew that, and accepted it before they even started the process of getting these jobs, and I respect them for willingly making that sacrifice.

More and more though, through the course of my own working life I have seen other companies gradually increase the number of people that are working on the weekends, or graveyard shift. People don’t even seem to notice it. It’s like when you have a frog in a pot of water and the water is cooking on the stove…the temperature increases gradually so the frog doesn’t even notice, and then he is dead.

But if you just drop a frog in hot water he will try to get out. No…I don’t do a lot of frog cooking, but this frog thing is a common and accurate metaphor for what we are talking about.

So now we have all these people working on the weekends. Oh it’s handy for the consumer…because we can go almost anywhere and conduct commerce, we can purchase the goods and services we need, we can spend our money and it’s very convenient. But do we ever stop to consider what the cost of this convenience is?

We have developed a culture here in America that is all about money. Or more succinctly, about greed. I used to be a part of that system, I worked for a few different places in my life where working on the weekend was mandatory. Now its become almost expected that wherever you work you will wind up working on the weekends.

I worked for one huge box store that has most of the people on a rotating schedule, which means that you got one weekend off a month, then you would have Monday-Tuesday off, then Wednesday-Thursday, etc. Sometimes you would have split days off which is even worse…like Tuesday – Friday or something.

A lot of you listening are probably just used to this stuff and you don’t even know why I’m talking about it. Well, here is my problem. If you are working for that big box store I just mentioned it’s almost impossible to plan your life, because the schedule only goes out three weeks…after that they can do whatever they want.

In my opinion, based on my observations, my theory is that these huge corporations don’t want you to plan your life. If you plan your life then you might actually develop relationships or activities that are more important than making money for the corporation and they can’t have that. They have designed it so the workplace itself becomes your primary social platform, thats where all of your relationships are, your entire world revolves around whatever it is they are selling. The company break room is like your living room. Brilliant…but also diabolical in my opinion.

When I was still working for this company I made a suggestion. Why don’t we bid for schedules? Some people don’t mind working weekends, everyone could bid for a set schedule and have the same days off every week…if you at least knew what your days off were then people could actually plan their lives and everyone would be happier.

What I was told was that the reason it is set up this way is because they are trying to be completely fair across the board. What? Fair? Is it fair to punish everyone? I guess if everyone is equally miserable and disconnected with life then that is fair.

I know fathers who miss all their kids ballgames and dance recitals because of work. I’ve known people who cannot practice their religion because of work, even though we are guaranteed freedom of religion in our constitution…they know if they push it they will lose their job.

It’s all about money guys. Not your money, but the money these corporations rake in thanks to you.

As I’ve said many times, the most important things we possess are our relationships, and it is our relationships that are the primary victims of corporate greed.

Look, I’ve got nothing against money, or the pursuit of money, we need money to live and eat and everything else. But there has to be a balance, there has to be some point at which money or the pursuit of money is not our number one priority.

A lot of people are confused about what work ethic means too. I had a friend who worked at this company for 15 years, he still works there. To him, work ethic means literally selling your soul for the company. He has worked 6 days a week for 15 years. He often works late without getting paid, I have personally witnessed him getting used and abused by the boss and he just takes it. His marriage ended because of the hours he worked and he doesn’t have time to start new relationships.

When I asked him why he puts up with it, he told me that is his work ethic. To me it sounds more like a slave ethic, it is a mentality of slavery. The advice I gave him shook him up a little, it made him think. He still works there but at least he is thinking about it. I told him to imagine lying on his deathbed, at the end of life. What will all this sacrifice have amounted to? How will he be remembered by his kids and grandkids…as the guy who was never home? I told him to think hard about the regret he may have to endure and to ask himself if it all worth it.

Please know that I’m not criticizing you. If you are one of the people caught in this hamster wheel I’m not blaming you, I’m blaming the system. I was caught in the same hamster wheel myself. As a single dad I was working stupid hours and for a couple years there my kids were raising themselves…that’s horrible! I was not being the best dad I could be even though at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. But, those are hours and days and weeks with my kids that I’ll never get back.

So in case you haven’t noticed, I’m on kind of a rant here, I don’t do this very often. But I don’t believe in just complaining about problems without also offering a solution. So…what’s the solution to all this craziness?

Speaking for myself, when I recognized that by life was effectively being stolen by employers, I got a little pissed off. So I started working for myself. To date I have probably spent more time self employed than I have working for other people. But the other thing I did was just refuse to work jobs that didn’t work with the lifestyle I wanted for my family. I insisted on designing my own life instead of letting corporations design it for me.

You might be thinking I was in some privileged position that allowed me to do that…but I would argue that I was not. Instead of going to college I served 5 years in the Army. I have been a blue collar guy my whole life. When I got out of the Army I had zero marketable skills, I also had three kids that I had to feed.

The needs of my family were immediate, so I went to work, and I worked really hard. It took me a few years to gain the capacity to start thinking outside the box. When you are on that hamster wheel, its hard to see anything else sometimes.

It really starts with a paradigm shift that gets you thinking about your life in a different way. It’s my life! It isn’t anyone else’. Therefore if my life sucks it must be my fault, and since complaining accomplishes nothing I had to start getting creative and figure out how to do things different. I had to take responsibility for my own situation. I think that is the solution.

It’s easier said than done, for sure. But eventually I was working at this corporate big box store and I was one of the only people that had weekends off, why? because I negotiated it that way. I effectively communicated my requirements and what I would provide in return. Fortunately the guy hiring me wasn’t an idiot and he was able to work with me.

Look, I know you have to eat, you have to pay rent. I’m not suggesting you go in Monday and take a dump on the boss’ desk. You have to survive.

What I am suggesting is that you start realizing that your life is your fault. That you start right now developing a plan, write it down. Start thinking outside the box, doing research and figuring out what kind of value you can bring to the world…because whatever that value is, is your answer. When you figure out what kind of unique value you can provide to other people, then those people will give you money for it. Thats how it works.

Some of you will not get it. Some of you are content with the way things are and you don’t want to change anything and that’s fine, that’s great in fact because the world needs people like you as well.

But for those of you that get what I’m saying…start now. Start now by taking charge of your life. I think taking charge of your life and being responsible for it is one of the most beautiful expressions of manhood there is. You should also seek out other people that are thinking the same way, surround yourself with people who are also designing their own life.

Well thats it for today guys. I will conclude my rant right there for now, thanks for listening. I had to get this off my chest. I will appreciate any feedback you have about todays show, I would love to hear your thoughts.

I would also appreciate it if you went to iTunes and subscribe, rate and review this show. It really helps the ratings and it helps make the show more visible to others. Most of all though, if you get value from this show then tell your friends about it. Send them links, share it on social media, help me get the word out about what it means to be a better man today, than you were yesterday.

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101 – King Of The Chickens Sep 14, 2016

Show notes

KING OF THE CHICKENS…

Story Time with Alf is here!

Every Wednesday I regal you with a story from somewhere in my unusual and interesting life. It could be funny, sad, serious or disturbing, the important thing is that every story has a lesson.

Even though these are my stories, you can apply these lessons to your own life, or perhaps they will remind you of your own similar story and the lessons you learned from it. Either way, you should be entertained.

As you listen I really want you to consider your own stories, when did you learn these lessons? Can you remember? Sometimes digging up your own past can have great benefit, especially if you are made to remember that one singular moment in time when you learned something vital. It’s almost like learning it all over again. That…is the purpose of these stories.

In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories. It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next. The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today.

Today’s story, called King Of The Chickens, is really about dealing with people who want to oppress of dominate you..

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100 – It’s a big deal… Sep 12, 2016

Show notes

Welcome one and all to the 100th episode of being a better man. Its a very special episode for me…next Wednesday it will be 101 and then we’ll be moving towards 200, it will be back to work as usual…but for now, for today, I am relishing this accomplishment.

I’ve been wondering what I was going to talk about for the 100th episode, and when ever I thought about it one particular dominant feeling would wash over me every time. That was the feeling of gratitude. I am very, very grateful.

I have said it before, but this program truly would not exist without you out there listening. You are listening from every state in America. From there, in order of quantity you are listening from Canada, Australia, Norway and the Untied Kingdom. After that you are listening from all over Europe, Asia, the middle East and Africa…from everywhere in the entire world…except Antartica and Greenland.

Obviously it’s pretty cool to me, knowing that I am getting the message out to all the corners of the earth…but I’m also telling you this just so you will realize that you are not alone.

Wherever you are listening from can seem like a very solitary place. It’s just you, your headphones, and me. But you can also know that there are men all over the world listening to the same message, thinking the same thoughts. Men who, like you…have decided to be a better man today than they were yesterday.

I am thrilled and humbled at the reach Being A Better Man is starting to have. Just yesterday I was doing an interview with Thomas Hayes, a famous comedian and author and an extremely dynamic individual, and a future guest. He lives in Boston, all the way across the country from me, 3,000 miles. He told me that a friend of his, a woman, actually called him up to tell him about this show and that is how he got ahold of me.

It’s all pretty amazing to me and when I think about it I get a little overwhelmed sometimes by the gratitude I feel toward all of you. I am so thankful that you are all taking the time to listen, I’m especially thankful for all the feedback I have received. When I get a letter from someone telling me how this show is making a difference for them, it makes my whole day. I usually print it out and show it to my wife. So please, keep the feedback coming, because it makes me very happy and it inspires me to keep going.

So, for this 100th episode, gratitude is number one. Thank you, each and every one of you.

The next thing I decided I would do is to talk for a few minutes about what exactly this podcast is trying to do, to reiterate the mission, to remind everyone and to inform any first time listeners about why this show exists in the first place.

There are some things I repeat a lot on this show, like “being a better man today than you were yesterday”, and “the things we focus on, expand”, “excuses don’t exists”, “look in the mirror”, “know yourself”, “be honest with yourself”, “it’s no on else’ job”, “personal accountability” etc., etc. These things that I repeat often are at the core of the message. There is power in repetition, repetition causes things to be printed on the brain, it makes them easily accessible.

The purpose of this show is to elevate the idea that you should be a better man each day, to raise it up in the top levels of your consciousness so that as you go through your life these concepts will be easily accessible, you will think about them without trying. Eventually, they will become a habit and then they are part of you. You will recognize the opportunities all around you to be a better man…opportunities that might slip right by if you weren’t in the habit of thinking about them.

I have received reports from listeners that it is working exactly how it was designed. People have told me that after listening to a few episodes they find themselves generating their own thoughts about how they can be a better man…That is so awesome! That is exactly why I am doing this.

So, why is it important to have men in the world being a better man than they were the day before? look around…look at the state of humanity on every continent and the state of manhood specifically. Some places are worse than others but our entire species needs a tune up. With the advent of technology and other advances men all over the world have forgotten what it means to be a man.

When that happens, the ones who suffer the most are the children, and then they grow up with no guidance, no direction, and absolutely no idea of what it means to be a man beyond the placement of genitals. This isn’t important for only boys, little girls need to know what a man is too, and they need to be able to identify a good one when they see him.

Individually none of us have the power to improve or change the world. All we have power to do is to improve ourselves, one day at a time. But…when a few hundred, and then a few thousand, and then a few 10’s and 100’s of thousand men all start focusing on improving themselves…when they start focusing on being a better man today than they were yesterday, then something amazing happens…

Collective change starts radiating outwards. These men become examples for other men, and for their children…those children influence other children. Slowly, incrementally, the state of humanity itself starts to improve and change. The world becomes a better place.

It may seem lofty and arrogant to presume to talk about changing the world for the better, but I strongly disagree. I believe that collectively, it is entirely possible. Collectively, as a movement, as a tidal force we have the power to do anything, including making the world a better place.

Each and every one of you who listen and apply the being a better man philosophy to your life are a part of that change. Go ahead and brag about it, tell others, tell your children…put it on your online dating profile; Hi, My name is ______, and I am making the world a better place, because I am being a better man.

If you are having a hard time believing what I am saying just think about it a minute. Scale it up in your mind…Imagine, hypothetically, if every man in the world suddenly adopted this way of thinking, if every man was committed to perpetual improvement as an individual and was dedicated to being a better man each day. If that happened, the world would be transformed in an instant! That’s how I know its true.

That’s obviously not happening though, so we have to start somewhere, and where we start is with ourself. That is the purpose of this podcast…to assist you in that effort. Making the world a better place, one man at a time.

In closing out this 100th episode I just want to say thank you once again to everyone who is listening. And I also want to congratulate you, because you are making a difference in your life, and by doing so you are affecting the lives of others. You are being a better man today than you were yesterday, and I for one, am very proud of you.

Now head out into the big world, be vigilant, never stop learning and improving, never stop knowing yourself a little better, and never stop noticing the opportunities all around you to be a better man today than you were yesterday.

Please support this podcast by visiting the Manly resource Center, and taking advantage of the free offers from Audible.com and check out Podcast Websites as well!

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/bettermanpodcast/

099 – Become A Leader Sep 09, 2016

Show notes

BECOME A LEADER…

As you know, if you are a regular listener to this show Friday’s are where I kind of talk about whatever is on my mind, but I do try and keep it relevant to the mission of Being a Better Man.

In fact, if you ever hear me babbling about something that is not relevant to being a better man I want you to write me immediately and question it, ok?

Whats on my mind today is the fact that this is episode 99. My next episode on Monday will be number 100. That’s a big deal for me…it’s a milestone. When I started this podcast I had no idea how far it would go…but, here we are and its all thanks to you, the listeners. It really has been an incredible journey so far.

Before I get into today’s episode, I’m going to warn you…it’s a little different, I’ll be talking about an idea that could have great value for you…or maybe not. It might even sound like a great big commercial, I’m not sure yet, but I hope you bear with me, because what I’m talking about could have tremendous value for some of you and it could play a big part in your journey of being a better man.

When I started this I had no idea what I was doing…I didn’t know anything about websites or mp3’s or microphones or anything. All I knew was that I wanted to try and make a difference in the world. I had listened to some podcasts with my wife and I recognized the medium of podcasts as a possible method of conveying a message.

So, in spite of tremendous odds and tremendous ignorance…I went for it. Here is the part where I tie this in to being a better man.

I’ve gotten a lot of great feedback from you guys, that’s really what keeps me going…knowing that I am making a difference to someone out there. Hearing from people that this show has gotten under their skin and now they think before they act, they look for opportunities to be better men every day. That’s amazing and that is EXACTLY why I am doing this.

All this feedback got me to thinking…beyond the message of the podcast itself, I should share the method. Perhaps there are those among you out there who also have a message to share with the world, your own agenda that you are passionate about.

What if this podcast, Being a better man, was able to spawn a few more podcasts by galvanizing a few of you to pick up your own torch and bring your own unique passion to the world in the form of your own podcast?

You don’t have to talk about the same stuff I talk about, it doesn’t even have to be about self improvement at all…it can be about your hobby, your family, or other things that interest you or make you angry or whatever. Whatever your message is…there will be other people who share an interest in that message. If you do that, now you have become a leader. A leader of other people in the discussion of your topic, whatever it is.

Maybe you are passionate about the life cycle of the beef tapeworm, you find it fascinating for some reason…kinda weird, but OK…do a podcast about it and find other weirdo’s that think thats really cool. Now you have become a leader and a community builder…and those are both very manly things to become.

In my case, I simply invited you the listener to join me on a journey I was already on; the journey of being a better man today than I was yesterday. Now I feel kind of guilty because I may be getting more out of it than anyone else.

When I prepare these episodes and figure out what I’m going to say or talk about, it helps ME be a better man. It helps me validate and organize my thoughts so that not only you can understand them…but so that I can too.

That’s the way it works. So whatever your particular topic or passion is, be prepared to become immersed in that thing if you decide to do a podcast about it.

If you are remotely thinking that this sounds like a good idea, then I have something that might interest you.

Like I said, when I started I was starting from scratch, with no prior knowledge. Then I stumbled upon a new service. It was brand new, in fact it was in the beta phase. It was a new concept that was designed to help people who wanted to be a podcaster.

This service did everything different; instead of having all the components of podcasting spread out to different services, each with their own fees and costs…they were a one-stop-shop. In other words, they do everything in one place.

I didn’t know how to build a website, much less one that would work for podcasting, but the tools they gave me made it pretty easy. I didn’t know about hosting or html, writing code or anything…and this service made it so that I don’t have to.

Everything is controlled from the administration dashboard of my website. I still don’t really know what I’m doing…but its all working in spite of that fact because of this amazing service. The best part is…when there is a problem the technical support staff is the best I’ve ever seen in my whole life.

The name of this service is Podcast Websites. They have recently launched an affiliate program that allows me to offer this service to you, with a discount. Not a measly discount either…a lifetime discount. If you become a podcaster and customer of podcast websites you will receive either free media hosting and statistics for life, or…$10 off your monthly service fee for life!

That is a fantastic deal! How it works is you just go to www.beingabettermanpodcast.com/pw. That is a referral link that will take you to the welcome page where you can schedule a consultation to see if this is right for you. It cost you nothing to do this…It doesn’t matter what country you live in…podcasts are global.

If you do wind up signing up then you use the coupon code HOSTME, to receive the discount you want, and you are on your way to becoming a podcaster and influencing the world around you. In addition to that, you will have direct access to me, to ask me anything you need or want to about being a podcaster, I will be your personal podcast mentor if you want me to be.

You can also find all of this information in The Manly Resource Center, in this website menu.

This might sound like one giant commercial to you…and it kind of is, but it’s also something that I think has tremendous value and potential.

If even one of you use this link and go on to become a leader in your own area of expertise then I think it is worth it, because that will effect all the other people who eventually become your listeners.

It might not be for everyone…for those of you who don’t think podcasting would be a good fit…there are other ways to become leaders, other ways to share your strength and knowledge and influence the world around you. We will be talking about some of these ways on future episodes…but today, we are talking about becoming a leader through podcasting.

For those of you who are intrigued right now, who think you might like to look into this further just click on this link and you will be in good hands…the best hands. I vouch for Podcast Websites 100%. If I can do it…YOU CAN DO IT TOO!

Now head out into the weekend and figure out a way to influence the world around you, be a leader, because thats what men do. Figure out a way to share your knowledge, strength and passion. Do that, and you will be a better man today than you were yesterday.

Once again, the link for this special offer is: http://www.beingabettermanpodcast.com/pw and the coupon code to receive your discounts is: HOSTME

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/bettermanpodcast/

098 – Walk In A Blizzard Sep 07, 2016

Show notes

Walk In A Blizzard…

Story Time with Alf is here!

Every Wednesday I regal you with a story from somewhere in my unusual and interesting life. It could be funny, sad, serious or disturbing, the important thing is that every story has a lesson.

Even though these are my stories, you can apply these lessons to your own life, or perhaps they will remind you of your own similar story and the lessons you learned from it. Either way, you should be entertained.

As you listen I really want you to consider your own stories, when did you learn these lessons? Can you remember? Sometimes digging up your own past can have great benefit, especially if you are made to remember that one singular moment in time when you learned something vital. It’s almost like learning it all over again. That…is the purpose of these stories.

In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories. It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next. The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today.

Today’s story, called Walk in A Blizzard is about a time where I learned the importance of human kindness and hospitality.

Check out our Sponsor Audible.com! Go to http://www.beingabettermanpodcast.com/book to download your free audio book and start your30 day free trial.

FACEBOOK LINK: https://www.facebook.com/bettermanpodcast/

097 – Live With Integrity Sep 05, 2016

Show notes

Today I want to talk about integrity. It is a huge topic, and I doubt I’ll cover all the facets of it today, but it will be a start.

So integrity…what is it exactly? I always like to look up the definitions of words and then I tweak them a little to make them more accurate, but I found one particular definition of the word integrity that I really love. It is;

“The state of being whole, and undivided.”

Wow, if you say that over and over a few times and really think about what it means…its pretty profound.

So, as a human, what does it mean to be whole? To me it means that all of my parts are together and consistent with each other. All the components that make up who I am are functioning at optimum efficiency, and they don’t contradict each other.

As opposed to being divided as a person…where you say one thing and do another. Or you have different moral principles for different situations. Or you act differently around different people, or you only engage in right action when you know someone is watching. To me, these are all examples of someone who is not whole, they are divided.

So now we have an idea of what it means to be a whole person, how does that manifest itself in daily life? A lot of people use the word integrity, and usually when people use the word they are referring to honesty.

For sure honesty is a major component of integrity, but there is a lot more to it as well.

For example, when you are living as a whole person, with all your parts functioning together, it’s unlikely that you would say things that you don’t really mean. Because to do that would mean that your intentions and your language are not functioning together. A whole person, a person living in integrity, would be much more likely to only say things that they mean…their language would be consistent with their intentions.

Sometimes it possible that your intentions are in-line with your language, you say something you really mean but then you don’t follow through…in that case your intention and language are aligned…but it is your actions that are not functioning together with all your other parts. In that case you are out of integrity.

I have an example of this, there is an area where I am out of integrity right now. On a granddaughters birthday I told her I would plan a special day and her and I would do something fun together…I still have not made time to do that, I am out of integrity in this situation and I will remain so until I align my actions with my language and intention. I don’t even know if she remembers me telling her that, but it doesn’t matter because I remember.

Like I said earlier, integrity is a huge topic and there are many different examples and types of integrity. There are all the obvious ones that everybody knows like stealing, lying, cheating, etc.. of course these behaviors are all out of integrity. Today I am talking about a specific type, a more subtle type of integrity.

I’m talking about the type of integrity in which every aspect of your nature and character are completely aligned…To remain in this kind of complete integrity at all times is very difficult, not too many people can pull it off. Because as humans we have some natural tendencies to do otherwise. Like me with the promise to my granddaughter…I will correct that, but until I do I am out of integrity.

You might wonder…if this is an impossible task then why are we even talking about it, it seems unattainable?

It’s true. A person might not ever attain a level of complete integrity, but…if they are committed to trying, if they are paying attention to every part of themselves and make corrections when they become misaligned, they will have much, much more integrity than if they pay no attention at all.

To attempt to do anything there has to be some value, some payoff. The value of living a life with integrity is immeasurable.

A man with integrity has the respect of himself, and of others. A man with integrity is trusted and believed. A man with integrity has a clean conscience, he sleeps well at night and he can die with no regrets. A man with integrity is fundamentally a better man, than a man who has none.

The first step in aligning all of your individual components and increasing the level of your integrity is to know yourself. You need to work on knowing yourself inside and out, completely and intimately. I believe the greatest favor any man can do for himself, is to aspire to know himself completely.

How can you tell if all your components, intentions, opinions, thoughts and feelings are aligned and in integrity if you don’t even know what you truly believe, or what you stand for? So the first task for every man in my opinion, is to know himself.

It’s not as easy as it sounds…to know yourself. How does a man set out to know himself better? I believe the best way to accomplish that is by challenging yourself, testing yourself in every way imaginable. Do hard things, challenging things, risky things, things that make you afraid. try to accomplish something that seems impossible, and see how far you get. Take the word “failure” out of your vocabulary because the only failure is to do nothing.

So…integrity is the total internal alignment of everything that make you who you are. The pathway to integrity is to know yourself as completely as possible.

That’s all I’ve got on this subject for today, think about it as you go through the week, if you notice some part of you that is not consistent with all the other parts, and you correct it, then you have just became a better man than you were before.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. I really appreciate getting feedback, suggestions, and ideas from you guys. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you and I love hearing from you all, and I answer every email I receive. Just hit the Contact Alf button in the menu. Or just write me at alf@beingbetter.men, either way.

Also, I am still looking for testimonials with pictures. If you have something nice to say about the show and send it to me with a little picture of yourself I can use it as a testimonial in my marketing. If you are able to do that I would really appreciate it.

Ok, that’s it for today guys. Now head out into the big wide world and try to be a whole, undivided person, a man of integrity. If you do that you will be a better man today, than you were yesterday.

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/bettermanpodcast/

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096 – The Burning Man Blues Sep 02, 2016

Show notes

THE BURNING MAN BLUES…

So…as you know on Friday’s I kind of talk about whatever happens to be on my mind…as it relates to being a better man of course.

Right now what’s on my mind is the fact that I am going to be a bachelor until next week, because my wife went to work at Burning Man. For those that don’t know what burning man is, its a huge art and music festival out in the middle of a dessert in Nevada. It’s huge…there are like 80,000 people out there.

For the past 12 or 13 years my wife has volunteered as a Ranger at Burning man. What the rangers do, is they are kind of an interface between the participants and law enforcement. They help keep people safe and the event running smoothly.

We went together last year and it was quite an experience. I couldn’t go this year because I’ve got too many things going on. So when she told me she was going to go, without me…it caused a little problem for me.

It was one of those moments when I had to check myself, I had to take a nice long hard look at myself and make sure of what I thought and felt about it, so that I could communicate it well…without causing more problems. In other words, it presented an opportunity for me to be a better man.

I told her I wasn’t happy about her going alone. Initially she assumed it was because I didn’t trust her or something but I quickly corrected that, because I trust her more than I have trusted anyone, ever.

I explained to her that the problem for me was that she is traveling outside of my bubble of protection. I feel personally responsible for her physical safety at all times and when she is away from me physically, in another town another state, surrounded by people that I don’t know…I can’t help her, she’s out of my reach, and that feeling makes me very uneasy.

She listened politely, and then said something like, she went there alone for years before she met me and she was fine, she knows how to take care of herself, and don’t worry.

So then I had to explain that my feelings in no way reflect my opinion of her competence. On the contrary I think she is brilliant, and extremely competent, and she knows how to deal with other people very well…but, believing all that doesn’t change how my protection bubble works. Her level of competence is irrelevant because the bottom line is that she weighs around 125 pounds…she’s an attractive woman, and there are a lot of very bad people in the world, and if anything were to happen to her I would feel responsible.

Now…a lot of guys in a similar situation would just put their foot down and forbid their wife from traveling outside of their protection. They wouldn’t “let” her go. I put the word let in quotation marks. I did that because I hate that word when it is used in a relationship.

Whenever I hear people say things like “My wife wouldn’t let me” or “My husband would never let me do that” it makes me cringe. It makes me cringe because these are adults talking about other adults. They don’t own each other.

If I respect my wife and believe her to be an intelligent, rational, responsible adult human being on the same par as myself, then I feel I should trust her to make decisions about her own life, even if I don’t agree with them. If I didn’t think she was all of those things, then I would not have married her in the first place.

In return, she gives me the same consideration. She never uses the word let with me, she trusts me, even when she doesn’t agree with me. I have never told my wife what to do or what not to do, and I never will. I expect the same treatment in return.

Instead, what we do is have conversations. We express our concerns, motivations and thoughts to each other in a calm respectful way…and we listen to each other. Sometimes that will have the other person change their mind of their own will.

Like if I want to do something and my wife expresses to me that she doesn’t like it, and tells me why, and how it makes her feel…there’s a good chance I won’t do it simply because I don’t want her to feel bad, I want her to be happy, and that usually matters more to me than the thing I want to do.

Sometimes though…like with this Burning man thing, the other person goes ahead with what they want to do anyway.

So we had our conversations, she heard my side. I explained my protection bubble philosophy to her until I was blue in the face, and she told me in the most loving way she could that she is going anyway.

So what does a better man do in this situation?

Well to be honest at first I got all moody and sulked around a little bit. But then I remembered to stop and take some inventory of myself. I started by remembering the things she had said in our conversations, she had told me a lot of things too…She told me how she feels obligated to perform this service, and to help the other rangers. She told me how it fulfills her, to do a good job that she knows is helping people. She explained all of the safety protocols that are in place and how she will always be surrounded by other rangers.

As I was doing this inventory I realized that by decided to go against my advice that she was giving me an opportunity to grow as a person, and a man.

She was right, after all…she will be extremely safe there. I had these irrational fears that she recognized as irrational, and it was uncomfortable admitting to myself that they were selfish on my part. I was thinking more about how I would feel if anything happened to her, I was really being concerned for myself.

Once I realized that, once I saw it for what it was…now I could make corrections. So I got behind her, I supported her, I helped her pack, I got tools and stuff that she needed and I sent her off on a happy note. Because I did that she is down there right now not having to worry about how I’m feeling, sh can do her job with peace of mind.

I always say we can’t fix things we don’t know are broken, I tell you to look in the mirror and take an honest look at yourself, find something thats wrong and then fix that thing. thats how you become a better man than you were yesterday, and I’m sharing this story with you because it’s an actual recent example of me doing just that. That is how it works.

Now I just have to deal with the fact that I’m not used to feeding myself. I threw my lunch together this morning because I almost forgot to make it at all, and I wound up with a banana, a cucumber and a string cheese…that’s it. I’m a little out of practice, but I’ll survive until she gets home.

Now head out into the world and always be looking for opportunities to be a better man today, than you were yesterday.

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/bettermanpodcast/

Oh, and don’t forget to check out the Manly Resource Center, still in construction…if you have any suggestions of good manly resources to add to the page, just let me know.

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Being A Better Man

FOCUS ON THE JOURNEY…

I got a letter from a friend today. He’s a young man, I met him because he reached out to me as a listener of this show and we became friends.

In his letter he described his on-going struggle. He has a strong desire to be a better man. He is trying to apply the things I talk about on this show and things I’ve shared with him personally.

He feels like the harder he try’s, the harder it becomes. He is wrestling with some things like a video game addiction, some family issues, and some of the other things that we all encounter on this path of being a better man.

I decided to share this with you because it occurred to me that if he is experiencing this…then there is a good chance many of you are. The struggle is real. Now I’m going to share an excerpt of my reply to him, and then expound on that a bit.

I told him;

So that’s what I wrote to him, and I hope it helps. Look, in these days we live in we are so accustomed to instant gratification, we have become programed for it.

Like I told him, we have to focus on the journey itself. It’s not something that there is even an end to. The end will come when you stop breathing, in the meantime all we have is this moment we are living in.

It might seem tedious, and slow…and it is. But each day as we consciously do something, every time we seize an opportunity to be a better man…the wheel is turning forward.

Also, like I told him, focusing on the things that are not right, focusing on the things you perceive you lack, or aren’t good at, or that need improvement…will only serve to make those things bigger and more difficult to deal with.

You might be wondering how you are supposed to improve those things if you don’t focus on them. Good question, here’s how.

There are two sides to every coin, right? So for example, lets say you have a problem…like…umm, you swear too much, for an example. You offend women and children with your language everywhere you go and you realize you would be a better man if you could tone that down, that’s the problem.

See the difference? One side of the coin is purely negative, the other side is purely positive, even though they are about the same thing.

Think of every issue you are dealing with as a coin. It’s your choice which side of the coin you decide to focus on…whatever you choose, that is what will expand, that is what will get results. Choose wisely, and be patient.

That’s it for today guys. Hey don’t forget to join the Facebook page, and I’m on twitter @Alfbeingbetter. While your’e here at the website, write me a letter, I’d love to hear your thoughts about today’s show or about whatever challenges you might be facing.

While your’e here, also check out the Manly Resource Center, I’m in the process of building that page and adding more affiliates of products and services I use. Check out our sponsor, audible.com and use the link below to download a free audio book.

Now head out into the weekend, remember every coin has two sides…focus on the positive side to effect the changes you want, be patient, and you will be a better man today, than you were yesterday.

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TICKET TO FREEDOM…

Story Time with Alf is here!

Every Wednesday I regal you with a story from somewhere in my unusual and interesting life. It could be funny, sad, serious or disturbing, the important thing is that every story has a lesson. Today’s story id Ticket To Freedom.

Even though these are my stories, you can apply these lessons to your own life, or perhaps they will remind you of your own similar story and the lessons you learned from it. Either way, you should be entertained.

In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories. It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next. The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today.

Today’s story, called Ticket To Freedom, is a coming of age story. I wasn’t sure what the lessons were when I started…I didn’t think there were any. But then, during the telling of it, I realized what they were. There is always a lesson to every story.

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A FEMALE PERSPECTIVE OF MANHOOD…

I’m going to get right in to today’s topic, this idea came to me from a listener, a young woman in Colorado. Yes…women listen to Being A Better Man too.

I’m really glad she sent me this idea, because it’s important to consider the female perspective. Women comprise about half of the world population and their input and contribution is vital to the continuation of our species and our civilization.

Also…women provide us with a very important, very real perspective of manhood. A perspective that we would probably never realize on our own because…we are men. Our experience in the world is very different.

This listener shared a perspective with me that I probably would not have come up with on my own, but after reading it, I could see the truth in it and I think it needs to be addressed.

This listener is a professional woman in her 20’s, a college graduate, and she contends that most women see two primary ways in which men try to assert their masculinity in the world.

Type B comes from a place of aggression rather than sex. In her words; he “spends endless hours doing upper-body workouts at the gym and getting into bar fights to show the other guys how “alpha” he is.” We all know guys like this, they can be loud and over-bearing in social settings.

I don’t know when or how this culture started happening, or what age of men practice this the most…but I do know it’s a horrible thing. Behavior like this is the complete opposite of what it means to be a man in my opinion. They are behaving more like animals.

Our listener who contributed this topic contends that it is these type D guys who eventually break, and are responsible for the majority of tragic, random events like school shootings and whatnot. I’m not certain this is true…but it kind of makes sense.

She went on to say that there was another type of man, unlabeled by a letter. Guys like me and you, the listeners of this show who are actively committed to being better men. I thought it was nice of her to throw that in. She said we restore her faith in humanity.

Imagine your daughter or some other woman in the world you care about who has to contend with one of these choices every day. Imagine if there were no other choices beyond this…who would become the fathers and leaders of the next generation?

I want to thank our female listener again, thanks for reaching out and sharing your perceptions with us, and I invite anyone else listening to do the same.

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OWN YOUR WEEKEND…

::::WARNING:::: THIS TURNED INTO KIND OF A RANT…just an FYI

It’s Friday, and everyone is preparing for the weekend. I have some pretty big plans for this weekend myself and I am looking forward to it.

I love weekends personally. Not because I don’t have to go to work…I actually don’t mind working, I often do a lot of podcast work on the weekends because I enjoy it.

Notice I said “most” people. There are many, many people in our society that have to work on weekends…and I personally, think that is kind of tragic.

But if you just drop a frog in hot water he will try to get out. No…I don’t do a lot of frog cooking, but this frog thing is a common and accurate metaphor for what we are talking about.

What I was told was that the reason it is set up this way is because they are trying to be completely fair across the board. What? Fair? Is it fair to punish everyone? I guess if everyone is equally miserable and disconnected with life then that is fair.

I know fathers who miss all their kids ballgames and dance recitals because of work. I’ve known people who cannot practice their religion because of work, even though we are guaranteed freedom of religion in our constitution…they know if they push it they will lose their job.

It’s all about money guys. Not your money, but the money these corporations rake in thanks to you.

As I’ve said many times, the most important things we possess are our relationships, and it is our relationships that are the primary victims of corporate greed.

Look, I’ve got nothing against money, or the pursuit of money, we need money to live and eat and everything else. But there has to be a balance, there has to be some point at which money or the pursuit of money is not our number one priority.

So in case you haven’t noticed, I’m on kind of a rant here, I don’t do this very often. But I don’t believe in just complaining about problems without also offering a solution. So…what’s the solution to all this craziness?

The needs of my family were immediate, so I went to work, and I worked really hard. It took me a few years to gain the capacity to start thinking outside the box. When you are on that hamster wheel, its hard to see anything else sometimes.

Look, I know you have to eat, you have to pay rent. I’m not suggesting you go in Monday and take a dump on the boss’ desk. You have to survive.

Some of you will not get it. Some of you are content with the way things are and you don’t want to change anything and that’s fine, that’s great in fact because the world needs people like you as well.

Well thats it for today guys. I will conclude my rant right there for now, thanks for listening. I had to get this off my chest. I will appreciate any feedback you have about todays show, I would love to hear your thoughts.

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KING OF THE CHICKENS…

Story Time with Alf is here!

Every Wednesday I regal you with a story from somewhere in my unusual and interesting life. It could be funny, sad, serious or disturbing, the important thing is that every story has a lesson.

Even though these are my stories, you can apply these lessons to your own life, or perhaps they will remind you of your own similar story and the lessons you learned from it. Either way, you should be entertained.

In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories. It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next. The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today.

Today’s story, called King Of The Chickens, is really about dealing with people who want to oppress of dominate you..

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Welcome one and all to the 100th episode of being a better man. Its a very special episode for me…next Wednesday it will be 101 and then we’ll be moving towards 200, it will be back to work as usual…but for now, for today, I am relishing this accomplishment.

I’ve been wondering what I was going to talk about for the 100th episode, and when ever I thought about it one particular dominant feeling would wash over me every time. That was the feeling of gratitude. I am very, very grateful.

Obviously it’s pretty cool to me, knowing that I am getting the message out to all the corners of the earth…but I’m also telling you this just so you will realize that you are not alone.

So, for this 100th episode, gratitude is number one. Thank you, each and every one of you.

The next thing I decided I would do is to talk for a few minutes about what exactly this podcast is trying to do, to reiterate the mission, to remind everyone and to inform any first time listeners about why this show exists in the first place.

I have received reports from listeners that it is working exactly how it was designed. People have told me that after listening to a few episodes they find themselves generating their own thoughts about how they can be a better man…That is so awesome! That is exactly why I am doing this.

Collective change starts radiating outwards. These men become examples for other men, and for their children…those children influence other children. Slowly, incrementally, the state of humanity itself starts to improve and change. The world becomes a better place.

It may seem lofty and arrogant to presume to talk about changing the world for the better, but I strongly disagree. I believe that collectively, it is entirely possible. Collectively, as a movement, as a tidal force we have the power to do anything, including making the world a better place.

That’s obviously not happening though, so we have to start somewhere, and where we start is with ourself. That is the purpose of this podcast…to assist you in that effort. Making the world a better place, one man at a time.

Now head out into the big world, be vigilant, never stop learning and improving, never stop knowing yourself a little better, and never stop noticing the opportunities all around you to be a better man today than you were yesterday.