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    Health

    Beat Your Genes Podcast

    Evolutionary psychology with Dr. Doug Lisle, PhD and Nathan Gershfeld, D.C.

    Most psychology advice treats your brain like a broken machine. Beat Your Genes starts somewhere different: your instincts aren’t broken. They’re just optimized for a Stone Age environment that no longer exists.

    Dr. Lisle – Evolutionary psychologist, former Stanford lecturer, and co-author of The Pleasure Trap – has spent decades developing frameworks that explain human behavior from the ground up.

    Nathan Gershfeld, D.C. – trained first as an electrical engineer and then spent 14 years as a Doctor of Chiropractic. He brings a systems thinker’s curiosity to every conversation. He mostly lets Dr. Lisle talk.

    Topics include relationships and attraction, self-esteem, personality, depression and anxiety, willpower, the ego trap, and how pushy people exploit agreeable ones.

    380+ episodes. New episodes every other week.

    New here? Start at beatyourgenes.org/start-here

    Advertise

    Copyright: © BeatYourGenes.org. All Rights Reserved.

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    Latest Episodes:
    239: Down arrow, Education policy, Epigenetics, Trauma induced behavioral change Oct 01, 2020
    Show notes

    In this new episode, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk answer these q's: 1. Voicemail question: Are there some situations where you avoid using the down arrow technique like when the worst case scenario is actually going to happen or already present? 2. Imagine that you are magically made Emperor of K-12 Education in the US. Essentially, you have complete, authoritarian control over the education system and can expect 100% compliance on your vision and mandates. How would you design the education system, and how does the big 5 and evo psych affect your design? 3. I want to make sure I understand beating your genes. If people are told no, punished, held back, negative reinforcement over and over again it will affect the genes. Is this a true statement.


    (Replay) Couchsurfing as a woman, Resilience vs coddling, Jealousy after breakup Sep 24, 2020
    Show notes

    In this replay of episode 188, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk, discuss the following questions: 1. My niece and I have been debating whether it's safe for attractive young solo female travelers to couch surf. She believes that a careful reading of a host's couch surfing profile enables her to spot would-be predators. What are your thoughts on this Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk? 2. Can you talk about what resilience is with regard to personality/the big 5? Do you think that it is possible to help people develop resilience or grit? 3. I dated a guy for about 5 years who would never commit and cheated on me several times, though I did not learn of his indiscretions until after the relationship ended. I recently found out that he married one of the women who he cheated on me with after dating her for only a brief time. After our split was all said and done I definitely felt like I came out it with the better end of the deal, and I'm now in a relationship that has major *magic 10%* potential; so my question is: why am I so irritated about my loser ex's quickie marriage? 4. I contracted Herpes from a long term boyfriend who was cheating on me about 10 years ago. I find it so difficult to share this information with a new person. I am 50 years old and reasonably attractive but haven't been dating from shame regarding this condition. You're straight talk suggestions are so helpful on this podcast, I'm wondering if you can advise me on how to best frame this situation for myself, my status, and potential mates.


    238:Calorie budget,Baby v Adult talk,Russian women,Heritability,Corporate jargon Sep 17, 2020
    Show notes

    1. I have been a proponent of wholesome eating as the guarantee of good health and optimal weight. The approach has worked great for me, but I am still curious to know if eating high caloric density foods – but within strict daily caloric "budget" – is detrimental to one's health? I have no cravings or addictions of any sort, it is almost an "academic" question mostly concerning socially inflicted foods like BBQ, wine, cheese, etc. 2. My girlfriend often slips into baby talk — and it grates on my nerves, but I don't know how to stop it. Any suggestions? 3. I'm wondering, why we're having so many beautiful women in Russia, but much less of handsome men. Is there any explanation? 4.Plomin states that the heritablity of weight is 70%. Is this statistic a byproduct of our modern food environment and therefore an explanation of the obesity problem? How would the heritability of weight differ in a stone-age environment? How would it differ if we measured a cohort from Chef AJ's group? That word heritability, is also confusing. Please explain. 5. Whats up with corporate jargon, like "Could you action this item?", buzz words like "synergy", being told to "think outside the box", needlessly fancy job titles and the like. I realize it's bound to be several things: conferring status cheaply, trying to motivate by conveying positivity, obfuscating to avoid concrete promises and cover asses, trying to sound smart and adjusting language use to match the in-group. Am I mistaken or missing anything? Where does this jargon come from -is it perpetuated by business schools or the fanciest companies? Am I penalizing myself significantly if I don't go along with all this BS?


    237: Desire to change others, Sibling concerns, Step-dad harsh with stepson Sep 03, 2020
    Show notes

    1. If it is true that we can't change people, why would evolution waste energy engineer feelings in us that make us feel incline to try to change others? If we can't change others, why do people come to believe they can or enter relationships with others on that premise? 2. My brother has always been very private about his relationship with his significant other, to the point that it makes our family uncomfortable. She was a foreign exchange student when they met, failed to meet requirements for her work visa this spring, and my brother finally told us they got married this past May to keep her in the states. He also expressed as recently as one year ago he is not even sure he likes her, but does enjoy her attention and having company. I guess my question here is twofold; is it worth expressing concern to him about this being that's it's done? It was a particularly hard blow to my parents, who are practicing Catholics, and I don't see how he could fail to see the hurt it would cause them. Second... from a gene standpoint, why did he do this? 3. I have a 15 year old son who did poorly in school after it moved online last spring - eventually he stopped doing any of his work and lied to my husband and I about it. He is returning to a hybrid model in a couple of weeks, and I am already dreading the acrimony that will follow. My husband is our son's stepfather with no biological children of his own. In the past, there has been conflict between my husband and I about how to handle this - I think my husband is draconian and he thinks I'm too relaxed. How much freedom is appropriate to give kids when it comes to schoolwork? What about lying? Is there any way to protect my relationships with both my husband and my son through this? And finally, why do some step-parents (like my husband) get so invested in kids that will not be carrying their genes forward?


    236: Read receipts, Low sex desire, Weight, High school skills, Silly animals Aug 27, 2020
    Show notes

    1. I am a 40-something male on the online/swipey app dating scene. I have had rotten luck and I am interested in whether turning off "read receipts" on WhatsApp is putting women off. I like the freedom that turning off "read receipts" gives me. At the same time I worry I am giving into my fears of rejection, possibly ego-trapping myself. Why does it feel empowering to turn off "read receipts" on WhatsApp and is this potentially putting off women who may think I have a hidden agenda? 2. I have found that my desire for sex has significantly declined. So, my question is: am I a freak of nature? Or is something else potentially going on that could be corrected? 3. I've been fixated on losing 7-10 more pounds for the last 2 years but the weight just does not come off. Is there something I could do to actually lose this weight? Or how can I convince my mind that this is it and just be happy about it? 4. I remember in high school being taught the concept of critical thinking skills. The more I enhance my knowledge of evolutionary psychology and see certain personality types on social media promote conspiracy theories, I believe teaching these concepts are limited. It appears critical thinking skills and questioning authenticity can be finessed for those with the personality type, but I no longer think it's a skill set that can be universally taught. Am I viewing this incorrectly as I come up-to-speed on EP? What other American school system skill sets cannot be universally taught due to our differences in personality types? 5. Why is it funny to us when we see animals doing silly things? 6. Why do people love to solo dance so much? 7. Why in the world would someone literally only want to be listened to?


    235: Underdogs, Lazy husband, Genetic politics,Disagreeable vs confrontational Aug 20, 2020
    Show notes

    In today's show, the Dr's answer these Q's: 1. Why do we root for under-dogs ? How do we get status from a group that contains perennial losers ? 2. My husband and I are both 30 and have been married 2 years. My husband really wants kids, but I'm nervous about his lazy habits when that day comes. My question is: will having kids force my husband to be more active? I'm worried he will still be a couch potato 10 years from now and won't be an active and engaged parent. 3. I've got a comment about episode 232 in which DDL says there is no unconditional love...while I agree with his response, it made me wonder why I would have feelings of unconditional love toward my dog who does not share my genes... 4. . I am curious if these leanings politically are inherent at the genetic level and what is the mechanism behind it? Is it just where we all far along the bell curves of our personality characteristic that make us all come to such different conclusions in spite of all being in the same environment? 5. On personality tests, I come out as high disagreeable. However, I absolutely cannot stand confrontation and have my whole life been a bit of a people pleaser. I grew up with narcissistic parents in an emotionally-volatile household where I took it upon myself to be the child that diffused tension and provided some comic relief. Did my upbringing disturb my genetic disagreeable streak? I am a conundrum unto myself. Please unravel me.


    234: Covid Update, Psychology of War, Why High Expectations? Aug 13, 2020
    Show notes

    In today's episode, Dr. Lisle updates us on his thinking about the COVID-19 pandemic and current events surrounding lockdowns, death rates, and the future. Two questions are answered and they are: 1. Question about war - I am fascinated about how humans can band together in tribes and kill eachother. They also will battle eachother while having hospitals right there to treat the wounded. I can understand fighting over resources but these days it seems to be more over ideologies than that. Do you have any evolutionary insight into this? Couldn't this potentially be detrimental to gene and species survival? 2. Why we are more inclined to have High Expectations even when they make us fall into Ego Trap while we don't like to have Lower Expectations even if they help us. Is this due to social-cultural messaging or upbringing? Or something else is the cause?


    233: Helping friends, Aliens, PMS, Anger management, Reducing anxiety Aug 06, 2020
    Show notes

    1. I feel like I am in the process of losing my best friend. She has been trying to leave an emotionally abusive/narcissistic relationship with a much older man for a while. Of her own admission she has "no future" with this guy. Whenever I try to have this conversation with her, she freezes up and goes silent on me for weeks until she messages again with a complete change of topic. What would you do, doctors, if you were in my position? 2. I have a question regarding alien abductions. If mental illness is not to account for the feeling of being abducted by aliens, what are the doctor's takes on this strange phenomenon? 3. I've been struggling with mood swings/PMS my whole life now, however, they've gotten worse over the past few months since I seem to let out my frustration on my partner now. I'd really appreciate some tips on how to get along with my significant other during this special time and get some advice on how to not obsess over one's emotions. 4. What is the deal with anger management? I guess I'm in a situation where I feel very angry (and confident that I'm right) but it feels awful. Is time the only way to get over it? 5. I was glad to see Jordan Peterson is doing so much better after recovering from his physical dependency on benzodiazapines. I think many people were surprised he turned to benzos, given his knowledge as an Evolutionary Psychologist. Would you be able to explain what makes people desperate enough to seek anti-anxiety drugs and what could be done from an Evolutionary Psychology point of view instead to reduce stress and anxiety and avoid resorting to medication?


    232: Sugar babies, Appearance & personality, Unconditional love, Homelessness Jul 30, 2020
    Show notes

    1. My 19 year old daughter confided in me that she and her friend joined a sugar baby website and has met an older man. I am her birthmother. We are in an "open adoption arrangement" I am 38, so younger than her mom and someone she confides in. No other adults know about this. Is this normal developmentally and I should just let it play out, or is this out of bounds, and I may need to intervene more assertively? 2. Is there any way to spot people on extreme ends of the bell curve by their appearance? Perhaps it has to do with sensitivity and some people could have an intuitive way of recognizing red flag characteristics, whether in physical structure/form or expression? Is there any validity or basis to this? An evolutionary explanation? 3. I keep noticing current references to "unconditional love." Some in "spiritual circles, some in philosophy, some in the news. People supposedly suddenly want new pets for the unconditional love they are missing in isolation. Taking Ketamine or psilocybin supposedly gives the subject a reference experience of Unconditional Love, so then they can go on to cultivate that perception and achieve a new state of consciousness. Etc. I have looked for a long time, and I have not yet found any "loving" (bonding, service, caring, sharing, etc.) without some kind of conditions behind it. And wouldn't loving-looking behavior be determined by the big 5, and not be altered by a transcendent experience? What does EP say about it? 4.Anyways, my husband and family members joke that I have an irrational fear of homelessness and logically I know it's unlikely that I will ever be homeless, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about it on a weekly basis. How does someone become homeless? And if in some imaginary reality you were charged with decreasing or eliminating homelessness by any means necessary, what would you do?


    231: Post-corona dating calibration, Pushing our kids, Controlling others Jul 23, 2020
    Show notes

    Today's questions: 1. I'm interested in the post-Corona calibration process many of us are likely going through or about to go through. I'd be interested to hear how this unique level of isolation we've all experienced leads to decalibration and then the process of recalibrating again. I am just now starting to "get back out there" and I get the sense that my nervous system is desperate for calibration while at the same time guarded against any potential bad news. What do you think, doctors? 2. I'm curious why it seems so many of us are programmed to want to push our kids to achieve if the long-term influence falls flat. 3. I am struggling to realize the last chapter of How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World, where the author describes freedom from wanting to control others. I have a 29 year old brother who still lives with my mother. He was working before the pandemic, but is currently unemployed. He has made thousands of dollars a month but pays her nothing. He says she doesn't care and he is wanted. She says she doesn't mind other. In the past I have argued about why this relationship is bad for them both. I'm having a hard time why this situation makes me so angry, when really it is none of my business. I would love to "be free" of my concern, but it feels deeply concerning that from what I see my brother is exploiting my mother to avoid life and she is enabling him because she doesn't want to live alone. 4. When women write "family-oriented" on a dating profile is this code for "looking for man who will invest all of his resources into me and our potential children" and also "I'm vetting your current relationship with your mother as proof!"


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