Bare Marriage

Latest Episodes:

Episode 301: The 4 Categories of Euphemisms about Sex--that All Drive Us Batty! Oct 23, 2025

Show notes

We're diving into the euphemisms used in Christian marriage books and by evangelical pastors, and when you translate them into actual language, it gets real creepy real fast. From Kevin Leman's "Mr. Happy" to Josh Butler's semen theology, these authors hide harmful messages behind flowery or vague language. When authors tell women to "give him a gift" while she's bleeding heavily or recovering from childbirth, they're actually telling her to perform sex acts while in pain—and that's just wrong. Most disturbing? The euphemisms that hide sexual assault and make it sound normal.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR

Pre-order Dorothy Greco's book For the Love of Women which launches next week!

Our Courses

Check out The Whole Story!, our puberty course for parents/kids
Check out our Orgasm Course!

TO SUPPORT US:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!

OUR BOOKS WE MENTIONED:

The Marriage You Want (and the new video series that goes with it!)
She Deserves Better

LINKS MENTIONED:

Fred Stoeker's Focus on the Family interview
Josh Howerton and the Shady Little Girls in Miniskirts
Our article on Josh Butler's book A Beautiful Union

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Celebrating Episode 300! With the Best of Becca's Bloopers and One Liners Oct 16, 2025

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

We're celebrating episode 300 with a "Best of Becca" compilation! Rebecca and I react to her most memorable moments from the past six years of podcasting—from rabid raccoons to pooping in the shower to Gerald not being able to slay dragons. We also reflect on how the evangelical landscape has shifted since we started, why we're no longer in "please speak up" mode but in "shake the dust off your feet" territory, and how our focus has evolved from "fix the church" to "help people take radical accountability for their own health and wellbeing.”

ALL NEW Marriage You Want Video Series:

The complete Marriage You Want curriculum, with the paperback, study guide, and now small group video series!

UPCOMING EVENTS:

October 25th: Join Keith and Sheila marriage conference in Oshawa, Ontario

TO SUPPORT US:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!

TOP 5 PODCASTS OF AL TIME:

The Problems with Power of a Praying Wife featuring Sarah McDugal & Gretchen Baskerville
The Problems with Every Young Man's Battle featuring Andrew Bauman & Zachary Wagner
Groomed for an Abusive Marriage: Alyssa Wakefield's Story
How the Authors We Critiqued Responded to The Great Sex Rescue
The Uncomfortable Truth about Waiting for Marriage for Sex

SHEILA'S FAVOURITE PODCASTS:

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 299: What Does the Bible Say about Divorce for Abuse? Feat. Helen Paynter Oct 09, 2025

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

Does God really tell women they need to submit to abuse and stay in marriages where they're being raped and harmed? Today's interview with Dr. Helen Painter is one you need to hear—whether you're stuck in an abusive marriage getting horrible advice from your pastor, or you know someone who is. We're diving deep into what the Bible actually says about abuse and divorce, and spoiler alert: God does NOT require women to stay in abusive marriages. Please share this episode with anyone who needs to hear this life-saving truth.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains detailed discussion of marital rape, sexual abuse, and domestic violence

HELEN PAYNTER'S BOOK:

"The Bible Doesn't Tell Me So", from Helen's organization or from Amazon

UPCOMING EVENTS:

October 25th: Join Keith and Sheila marriage conference in Oshawa, Ontario (near Toronto!)

TO SUPPORT US:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

Naghmeh Panahi's Facebook Post
The original recording of the Calvary Chapel pastor (at around 59:35)
The Center for the Study of Bible and Violence:
Mentioned Scholar: David Instone-Brewer (rabbinical thought on divorce)

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 298: Purity Culture, Date Rape, and Porn: plus Joash Thomas and the Justice of Jesus Oct 02, 2025

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

Two major studies today prove what we've been saying: purity culture makes people unable to recognize marital and date rape as actual rape, and male porn use hurts women regardless of their attitude toward it—though religious women suffer more because of the scripts we've been given. Then I interview Joash Thomas about his book The Justice of Jesus, where he explains how Western Christianity lost biblical justice because colonizers taught a purely "spiritual" gospel to benefit themselves. We've got to understand that following Jesus costs us something!

EVENTS

October 4th: Book launch for "The Justice of Jesus”
October 25th: Keith and Sheila marriage conference in Oshawa

TO SUPPORT US:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

The Justice of Jesus book
The study of purity culture and rape myth acceptance
The study on how religious women see porn
Sheila's list on recommended books on porn recovery
For Our Daughters Film

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 297: The Myth of Good Christian Parenting Sep 25, 2025

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

It's The Great Sex Rescue--but for parenting!

The Christian parenting industry has been feeding us garbage for decades, and Keith and I sat down with Marissa Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis, authors of "The Myth of Good Christian Parenting," to talk about how we got here.

THE MYTH OF GOOD CHRISTIAN PARENTING

Pre-Order the book now--and claim your amazing pre-order bonuses!

TO SUPPORT US:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

Instagram: @mburtwrites | @kelseykmcginnis
Threads: @mburtwrites | @kelseykmcginnis
Facebook: @mburtwrites | @kelsey.kramermcginnis
Bluesky: @mburtwrites | @kkramermcginnis
TikTok: @mburtwrites | @kelseykmcg
Substack: @mburtwrites | @kelseykramermcginnis
YouTube: @mburtwrites
Website: Marissa
My article on spanking and sexual arousal
My article on the research on spanking effects
The article about those who hid Jews during the Holocaust

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 296: How to Avoid Inadvertently Giving Your Kids Sexual Hangups Sep 18, 2025

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

We all want to raise kids without sexual hang-ups, but a lot of Christian parents are accidentally creating the very problems they're trying to avoid. Rebecca and I dive into the three biggest ways this happens: being way too open about your own sex life with your kids (no, they don't need to know what you and your husband did last night), making a federal case out of normal teenage sexual development like masturbation, and approaching pornography with so much shame and "sin talk" that you actually make the problem worse. But here’s the good news: our course, The Whole Story, will give you the tools and language to appropriately talk about all of these things!

Then Keith joins me to tackle that age-old marriage question about whether wives just need to have more sex to make husbands nicer - spoiler alert: you're asking the wrong question entirely, and obligation sex isn't going to save your marriage.

THE WHOLE STORY COURSE!

Check out our sex and puberty course--it's on sale until Monday September 22 at midnight!

TO SUPPORT US:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

Our books She Deserves Better, The Great Sex Rescue, and The Marriage You Want

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 295: Does More Sex Make Marriage Happier? Sep 11, 2025

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

We're constantly told that more sex will fix our marriages, but the research tells a completely different story. When couples are simply told to increase frequency without addressing quality, satisfaction, and women's actual experiences, it often backfires and decreases desire altogether. The real predictor of marital happiness isn't how often you're having sex—it's whether that sex is mutually satisfying, intimate, and pleasurable for both people. Unfortunately, evangelical sex advice keeps pushing obligation sex messages that treat women's exhaustion and needs as obstacles to overcome rather than valid concerns. It's time we start asking better questions about what makes sex actually good instead of just demanding more of it.

OUR SPONSOR:

Check out the book Better Ways to Read the Bible--to transform the way you see Scripture, and let it come alive again if it's been used as a weapon against you.

TO SUPPORT US:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

The Orgasm Course
Psychology Today article on sexual frequency and happiness
Focus on the Family State of Marriage in America survey
The Whole Story puberty course for kids (coupon code: PODCAST)
Our reel about the 24 hour rule

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 294: 4 Christian Women Talk Menopause--and Perimenopause! Sep 04, 2025

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

I brought together three dear friends to have an honest conversation about perimenopause and menopause because so many of you have been asking about it. We shared our real stories and talked about the challenges like brain fog, weight changes, and sexual adjustments, and my dry eyes that nearly drove me crazy! But here's what I want you to know: menopause isn't just about suffering through symptoms. Each of us found our voices during menopause, finally standing up in toxic relationships and getting angry about toxic teachings we’d tolerated for years.
OUR SPONSOR:

Check out the book Better Ways to Read the Bible--to transform the way you see Scripture, and let it come alive again if it's been used as a weapon against you.

TO SUPPORT US:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

The Orgasm Course
Merry Lin's book Rebecoming
Merry Lin's LinkTree
Merry's Bare Marriage podcast episode with me
Kelita Haverland's song The Strong One
Rosemary Flaaten's program at The Center for Healthy Relationships
The We Do Not Care Club video

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 293: Better Ways to Read the Bible feat. Zach Lambert Aug 28, 2025

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

What do you do when you WANT to love the Bible, but you find yourself feeling defeated, hopeless, unseen? What if all the things you’ve experienced in church and in the wider Christian community have left you feeling adrift when you open Scripture? Zach Lambert’s new book Better Ways to Read the Bible shows us that everything we’ve been taught about the Bible may actually be new ways to read it—that miss the whole point! This encouraging conversation encourages us to get back to seeing the Bible through the lens of Jesus.

TO SUPPORT US:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

Zach Lambert’s book Better Ways to Read the Bible
Zach's Substack: Public Theology
Social media: @ZackwLambert on all platforms
The Whole Story course - Bare Marriage's puberty/sex education course for parents
Free book studies for "The Great Sex Rescue" and "She Deserves Better"
Restore Austin - Zach's church in Austin, Texas

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 292: Hear Sheila Answer Men’s Questions about Healthy Marriage & Sexuality Aug 21, 2025

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

Recently Sheila was on the Three Percent podcast, talking about what healthy marriage looks like. The hosts asked Sheila questions a lot of skeptical men had—so we thought the bigger Bare Marriage universe needed to hear this! Listen in as they play devil’s advocate, and ask the questions so many men have when they hear what we say about libido, about mental load, about porn, and more! Let’s change the convo in a healthy way. And thanks to the Three Percent podcast for letting us share this recording!

CHECK OUT OUR COURSES:

The Orgasm Course
Boost Your Libido
The Whole Story to teach your kids about sex & puberty

LINKS MENTIONED:

The 3% Podcast:
Our new FREE book studies for She Deserves Better and The Great Sex Rescue

TO SUPPORT US:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected