Bar Talk With Jay

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The Selection Process: Picking A Perfect Mate Oct 03, 2019

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When we talk about the objective of dating, it is usually in order to find a mate or someone you are most compatible with. Some may say they are not looking, just dating. This may be a conscious decision not to find yourself in a serious situation but really you are still discovering your preferences in a mate finding new things about yourself.
The selection process is multifaceted. You have your criteria that define some general rules on what your preferences are. There is also the act of defining your dating pool or where will you be looking to date. Some prefer the club, some prefer church and the internet seems to be what’s hot in the street.
There are some outside influences as well, we like to call this the “selection committee” These are the people you trust the most to help discern between what’s good at the moment vs. what’s good for you long term. This committee is mostly made up of immediate family, close friends and relatives, and maybe even a wise coworker or two. That last one goes double for you in interoffice exchanges.
While these cover some basics of selection there are many factors that will determine your success in the ability to find great mate versus spinning your wheels in the dating cycle. Clearly defining your happiness is important before you can ever make anyone else happy. Other factors include limiting your pool too narrow

Wrong Time Love: Finding Love With Someone...Else (Bar Talk With Jay 9-26-19) Sep 26, 2019

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Topic of the week: Have you been in love with another person while in your current relationship? Would you compromise happiness for the success of a relationship?
As always we have weekly check-ins with Jamal and good ‘Dr. Rev.’ Jeffery
There are many ways to look at how cheating can be done but the part that usually goes deeper is of the emotional kind. This is when feelings can really start to get involved and love can manifest. The first question that comes up is what are the circumstances that allow this to happen in the first place? You may find yourself lacking certain things in your current situation that you may get in abundance in another. If you are that person you really have to consider is it really love and is something you should take action on? There are many situations where the success of a relationship are based on the union more than love. Some great times may not be worth letting go of what you have overall. On the other hand could you be passing on true happiness?

Ex Marks The Spot: Friends with an Ex (Bar Talk With Jay 09-19-19) Sep 19, 2019

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Are you freinds with yout ex?

Wrong Impression or Love and Affection? (Bar Talk 9-12-19) Sep 12, 2019

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This week’s question: What is the real meaning of love and affection?
When it comes to affection it is synonymous with love. This is because we tend to show people who we love the most affection. Now when we are in love with a person, affection has a deeper meaning. In the confines of a romantic relationship affection is an unspoken language of communication that can denote a change in the status of the relationship.It can reveal how pleased or displeased we are with a person. It can also showcase true feelings when the mouth can’t or won’t express it. When interpreting these communications, we must account for the way people are affectionate and how much affection is needed per person. There are different levels of affection that are required for different people. Some are very affectionate while some are just plain cold to the touch.
With so many variations how can you tell if you are giving the right amount and when can you tell when you are not getting enough? What happens with our affectionate ways get to be misinterpreted as something else? How do you confront a situation where you may be getting too much affection and having to answer the question why is a problem? We try to answer these questions on this week’s episode of Bar Talk With Jay.
Thanks for listening

I Need Some Space! The Chronicles of Needy Of Possessive (Bar Talk 8-5-19) Sep 05, 2019

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Where is the line between spending a lot of quality time and suffocating under someone’s company?
Most people have been in a situation where they have been with a person that needs more attention from them than a toddler or have been with a person that won’t let them leave without being attached to the hip. Maybe you have been with a person that won’t let anyone get too close to you without getting aggressive? On this week’s show, we will explore how to deal with someone who wants more of your time than you are willing to give or is just waaay to possessive. We also look into why people are needy and what you can do to help. As always Jay and Craft are joined by Jamal and the good Dr. Rev. Jeffery. Thanks for listening.

Crossing The Monogamy-Fixin’ Line: The Assumption of Monogamy in a Dating Relationship Aug 29, 2019

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Question: Why do people assume monogamy when doing relationship things together?
When it comes to dating, there is a point where you start to do things with a person because you are comfortable or even value that person. Sometimes it may seem a little deeper to one person based on the activities that have been engaged in. At one point can you assume that you are a monogamist situation? Or is it better to assume that it is not monogamist unless defined and verbally communicated that that is the case? Who’s fault is it when this occurs? Is it the person who introduces his or her parents on the second or third date? Is it the person who is willing to let you put a lot of time and don’t say anything about getting serious? Maybe it’s the big gift giver that goes over the top when comes material but not so much in dedication to building something?
As always we have or weekly contributions from Brother Jamal with advice for all the cornballs out there and the good Dr. Rev. Jefferey brings everyone to task about what they or may not be doing right. We explore all of these and more on this week's episode of Bar Talk with Jay.

Crossing The Monogamy-Fixin’ Line: The Assumption of Monogamy in a Dating Relationship Aug 29, 2019

Show notes

When it comes to dating, there is a point where you start to do things with a person because you are comfortable or even value that person. Sometimes it may seem a little deeper to one person based on the activities that have been engaged in. At one point can you assume that you are a monogamist situation? Or is it better to assume that it is not monogamist unless defined and verbally communicated that that is the case? Who’s fault is it when this occurs? Is it the person who introduces his or her parents on the second or third date? Is it the person who is willing to let you put a lot of time and don’t say anything about getting serious? Maybe it’s the big gift giver that goes over the top when comes material but not so much in dedication to building something?
As always we have or weekly contributions from Brother Jamal with advice for all the cornballs out there and the good Dr. Rev. Jefferey brings everyone to task about what they or may not be doing right. We explore all of these and more on this week's episode of Bar Talk with Jay.

Is Etiquette A Lost Art in 2019? Aug 22, 2019

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Etiquette in 2019 has a different feel than it ever has before. This phrase has probably been uttered at different times throughout history. Switch out the year and you will hear the elders of that society saying the same. There are rules in society, in business, and of course interpersonal, when it comes to the way we carry ourselves. But 2019 is in the apex of a communication boom. There are so many different ways we communicate now that there are new etiquette rules being established and some being left to side.
I saw that some have problems with grown people in PJs in public. Acceptable is subjective. Frowned upon can be objective. Dating has new dimensions and so does the courting process. The difference is there’s no template on how properly online date. As the online behavior is starting to blend in real life so does the certain etiquette. With a new generation emerging with less connection to the past, will the old ways of doing die out for good?

Is Your Love Being Earned? Reserving Space In Our Hearts For People Who Don't Make An Effort To Stay Aug 15, 2019

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Question for the week:
Why do we?
As always, we take the relationship angle of the subject, but this is more of a life issue in a whole. People often give us what they want us to have and not what we deserve. We must take in consideration when we give people a place in our hearts, does this person match the amount of love that I’m giving out? Are they showing us that they really care? Does their actions reflect what their words are saying? We explore this and more this week’s episode.