Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast

Latest Episodes:

S1E39: F.O.M.O.O.S. Fear Of Missing Out On Snacks Feb 25, 2021

Show notes

Picture if you will, a troupe of hardy adventurers geared in the sharpest armor, carrying secure packs of the most finely crafted weaponry- with minds tuned to one goal, one dream- one fight...

They file out of their warship, ready to complete their mission. Prepared to finish this arcane task, having made peace with their gods and their clans. Serene in their readiness for the battle.

Marching silently ever onward to the- ...to the fried dough stand?

The time is NOW spaceheads! The Bastards and Clan Zarg have descended on Zarg Moon disguised as a dinky tour group, snapping up souvenirs and following a tiny little flag on a stick while they wave all their selfie sticks because THERE’S A CASTLE TO TAKE AND BY GOD, WE ARE DOING IT FOR THE ‘GRAM!

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell

Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews

Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl Amundsen

Episode art by Richard Kimber-Bell

Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

Join our Discord!

Get bonus content on Patreon

Midroll Links

Goblets and Gays

Four Orbs

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S1E38: That's No Moon Feb 18, 2021

Show notes

Finally back in their own minds after a near spacewalk; our scrappy Bastards warp onward to Zarg Moon and their waiting allies.

Here to see the land they mean to free, and meet the rest of the people that mean to free it- the crew drafts a plan, a PowerPoint, a couple hundred bombs - ... And an order of printed nametags?

Quick! Somebody call a project manager- these idiots are organizing a WAR.

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell

Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews

Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl Amundsen

Episode art by Willem van Biljon

Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

Join our Discord!

Get bonus content on Patreon

Midroll Links

Ballad of the Seven Dice

The Lovelycraftians

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S1E37: Put it in Papyrus Feb 11, 2021

Show notes

The Bastards are making their way... towards Firsnear, but it's a long ways to go. So the team kick back and enjoy a few road beers- until Dr. Ze starts getting a call, straight into his mind? Things aren't looking good for our Bastards. Unless Cleo can figure out how to save everyone, from themselves...

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell

Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews

Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl Amundsen

Episode art by Daniel Matthews

Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

Join our Discord!

Get bonus content on Patreon

Midroll Links

Adventures Await

The Token Vault

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S1E36: Dirty Herry II Feb 05, 2021

Show notes

The gang meets up with Herry- but he’s already up to his old man antics.

Will his actions slow the party down? Or has he got a plan so crazy that it just might work? Tune in to find out..

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell

Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews

Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl Amundsen

Episode art by Max Behrens

Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

Join our Discord!

Get bonus content on Patreon

Midroll

Cheaper By The Dungeon

Ballad of the Seven Dice

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S1E35: Where you going? Jan 28, 2021

Show notes

Armed with their new knowledge and their trusty team- Cleo and Dr. Ze head back to the scene of the crime(s) to collect their booty. (Or lose it, depends on where the police and the chefs are.) They have finally made it to the swimming- and the treasures shrouded within. Gather 'round the aluminum pool locker to find out! And pray, that our heroes spirit the seed to space fast enough.

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell

Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews

Episode art by Daniel Matthews

Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

Join our Discord!

Get bonus content on Patreon

Midroll

The Mad Cartographer

Sword and Quill

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S1E34: Two Birds Jan 21, 2021

Show notes

The hunt for Herry continues, as our Bastards slowly uncover the laundry list of things they did while in the thrall of the DRINK.

Climb aboard as they run from angry chefs, hack into a stoplight, recover yet another lost friend, and speed through the vast undercity of A6, New Terra.

Everything's a clue when you're- Well, when you're anybody but The Bastards.

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell

Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews

Episode art by Daniel Matthews

Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

Join our Discord!

Get bonus content on Patreon

Midroll

The Mad Cartographer

The Token Vault

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S1E33: The Seed Jan 14, 2021

Show notes

Ever wake up from a bender in a slightly different state than when you... Well, than the last thing you remember.

Join Cleo and Dr. Ze, in the clothes they didn't remember putting on, as they pull themselves from the mire of a big nite out™, and attempt to make sense of where they've been!

Cause Herodotus and the money are missing, friends... And all that's left is haze, and Clan Zarg, in the blurry Tesca Towers.

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell

Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews

Episode art by Agustín Marceillac

Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

Join our Discord!

Get bonus content on Patreon

Midroll

Goblets and gays

Quest Company Junior

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S1E32: I'm Naked Jan 07, 2021

Show notes

Turns out, The Bastards and their new friends are big fans of hotels.

They are not big fans, of paying, or answering the phone.

Follow our crew through a maze of avoidance, as they sample the wares of their new hideout while the phone rings off the hook because WHO just charged 20 luxury suites to the Urthean Army??

Hurry up and slam that Sandean caviar, boys. We got some 'splainin to doooo.

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell

Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews

Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl Amundsen

Episode art by Max Behrens

Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

Join our Discord!

Get bonus content on Patreon

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dear Bastards Dec 25, 2020

Show notes

Dear Bastards, The advice show you never knew you needed. ...Or wanted.

(Dear Bastards is an experimental sample segment! Join our team as their Orbital Refuse characters, as they answer questions that YOU sent in, advice column style.)

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell

Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews

Episode art by Taylor van Biljon

Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

Join our Discord!

Get bonus content on Patreon

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

S1E31: Everything's a Costume Dec 24, 2020

Show notes

Our customs horror saga continues, with Cleo, Dr. Ze, and the nefarious nineteen of Clan Zarg stuck together in a line.

Somewhere, beyond the pearly sterile gates of immigration- Herodotus waters himself liberally in an airport bar.

A couple of forms and 436 lies later- our Bastards emerge! Nude, changed, and ready to DESCEND with horrible ferocity and lethal accuracy upon a sunlit morning bistro in the arrivals quarter- for a freedom feast the likes of which the New Terran Astroport has never seen, nor shall ever see again.

(Well... Maybe.)

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell

Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews

Episode art by Agustín Marceillac

Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com