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Back from the Borderline — Health & Fitness
Back from the Borderline

Back From The Borderline is a podcast about depth psychology, symbolism, spirituality, consciousness, and the search for a more meaningful life.

I started this show years ago while trying to understand my own mind. Somewhere along the way, the questions became much bigger than me. They led into Carl Jung, mythology, Christian mysticism, dreams, tarot, philosophy, esotericism, religious history, artificial intelligence, and the symbolic patterns that quietly shape the way we see ourselves and the world around us.

The word borderline has taken on its own meaning over the years. It speaks to the edge almost all of us eventually reach. That place where our old explanations stop working and we’re asked to learn an entirely different way of seeing. That’s the space my work inhabits.

Some episodes are conversations with researchers, psychologists, philosophers, historians, and spiritual teachers. Others are long-form essays where I follow a question wherever it leads. Lately I’ve been especially interested in symbolic literacy, the way images, myths, dreams, and archetypes quietly organize human life, often long before we’re consciously aware of them.

I’m not very interested in being “certain” about anything. I care about learning to recognize patterns, hold complexity without rushing toward easy conclusions, and recover forms of wisdom that help us live with greater honesty, imagination, and responsibility.

If you’ve found yourself searching for Carl Jung, depth psychology, symbolism, archetypes, spirituality, mythology, Christian mysticism, tarot, dreams, consciousness, philosophy, or the Western esoteric tradition, I think you’ll feel at home here.

Alongside the public podcast, I also host House of Cards, an ongoing study of the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot through psychology, symbolism, mythology, and contemplative practice, as well as MOODS, an app I designed for dreamwork and deep inner inquiry. Both are extensions of the same project: learning to see more clearly.

You can explore everything, including new episodes, House of Cards, Patreon, and MOODS, at backfromtheborderline.com.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Copyright: © mollie adler

Latest Episodes:

the crisis of contemporary psychiatry with dr. bruce levine Aug 22, 2023

Show notes

Has psychiatry lost its way? Increasingly, voices within and beyond the profession argue that Western mental health institutions may be perpetuating psychological suffering rather than alleviating it. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Bruce E. Levine, a clinical psychologist and outspoken critic of mainstream psychiatry, to dig into some of the field’s most pressing and controversial questions. Dr. Levine, known for challenging the status quo, explores how psychiatry’s overreliance on pharmaceutical solutions, the failure to address systemic sources of distress, and the widespread acceptance of diagnostic labels with questionable validity may be obscuring real pathways to healing.

We examine the radical critiques that are now becoming more mainstream, including the lack of scientific support for the serotonin imbalance theory of depression, the diagnostic limitations of the DSM, and how treatment outcomes often fall short of meaningful relief. Dr. Levine, who serves on advisory boards for Ethical Human Psychology and Psychiatry and the National Center for Youth Law, connects the dots between culture, society, and the individual mind, pushing for an approach to mental health that addresses root causes rather than merely managing symptoms.

Episode Highlights:

00:00 – 07:42 | Deprogramming and Unlearning: Why challenging our deeply held beliefs about mental health can be the first step to true understanding and healing
07:42 – 14:02 | The Rise of Critical Psychiatry: A brief history of the critical psychology movement and its implications for modern mental health care
14:02 – 19:42 | Exploring Dr. Levine’s Work: Understanding his commitment to ethical psychiatry and his stance on some of the field’s most contentious issues
19:42 – 01:55:50 | Interview with Dr. Bruce E. Levine: The myth of chemical imbalance, the DSM's limitations, and the systemic failures that prevent true mental health recovery
01:56:01 – 02:00:36 | Final Thoughts and Reflections: Summing up the conversation and reflecting on future directions for mental health
02:01:36 – 02:25:04 | Listener Question from Asja: Exploring the link between “analysis paralysis” and the long-term effects of chronic invalidation

This episode invites listeners to reflect on the ways psychiatry could be reimagined to prioritize genuine human connection, social context, and the nuances of personal experience. Whether you’re skeptical of mainstream psychiatry or simply curious, this discussion offers insights that may challenge what you thought you knew about mental health.

Recommended resources:

■ Bruce’s website

■ Article: Once Radical Critiques of Psychiatry are Now Mainstream, So What Remains Taboo?

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

the repressed anger to manipulation pipeline (free preview) Aug 18, 2023

Show notes

In this laid-back episode, grab a matcha latte with me and settle in as we explore how unresolved childhood anger and trauma can shape the way we communicate and express our needs. Drawing on insights from somatic experiencing work, I unpack how suppressed anger often resurfaces in adolescence through "acting out" behaviors, leading many of us to adopt unhealthy patterns like manipulation and deception to feel seen and heard.

But here’s the pivotal realization: these shadow tendencies may have served a purpose once, but they don’t need to define us. By bringing these hidden aspects into the light, we can recognize that these self-sabotaging habits are no longer necessary. This episode is all about discovering how to voice our needs in healthy, direct ways, moving away from reactive behavior and embracing communication that’s rooted in authenticity, integrity, and self-respect.

Topics Explored in This Episode:

How suppressed childhood anger shapes communication patterns in adolescence
The link between emotional repression and “acting out” behaviors
How manipulation and deceit arise as coping strategies
Uncovering shadow aspects and breaking the cycle of self-sabotage
Moving toward authentic self-expression and voicing needs with integrity

Whether you’re on a journey to improve your relationships, strengthen your self-awareness, or just want to understand the roots of your own behaviors, this episode provides practical insights and grounding techniques to help you reconnect with your true voice.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

GET 20% OFF ON YOUR FIRST ORDER FROM SOMMAR PRINTS WITH THE CODE "BFTB" [click here] or visit sommarprints.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

shame series part 8: religious trauma, rigid sex roles and cultural suppression of emotion Aug 15, 2023

Show notes

This episode is the eighth and final installment of our multi-episode series, aiming to guide you in alchemizing and transmuting your toxic shame. Discover the insidious nature of toxic shame and its potential role as the root cause behind our ongoing suffering and emotional turmoil. At the core of self-sabotage, toxic shame leaves us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Learn how internalized toxic shame manifests uniquely in individuals, evident through feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability, struggles with intimacy, boundary challenges, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability.

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 11:45: How “underworld experiences” can help bring us closer towards healing

11:45 – 25:05: Understanding the connection between religious trauma and toxic shame

25:05 – 29:41: The denial of secondary causality as the insidious and toxically shaming distortion of many religions

29:07 – 32:55: Spiritual bypassing and how religion is used to deny or suppress “bad” emotions

32:55 – 36:32: Religious addiction and perfectionism as mediated by psychological inflexibility

40:09 – 49:34: Healing toxic shame when it has become a cultural norm (how shame is baked into our modern culture)

49:28 – 01:03:05: How rigid sex roles foster the development of internalized toxic shame

01:03:05 – 01:08:25: The impact of mass cultural denial and suppression of emotion

01:08:25 – 01:17:38: Healing from toxic shame (a starting point)

PREMIUM PORTION:

01:19:10 – 01:27:44: Listener question from Amy (what to do when you’re buried in toxic shame)

01:27:09 – 01:39:54: Listener question from Teresa (dealing with splitting, overthinking and PMS in a new relationship)

01:39:54 – 01:54:34: Listener question from Gia (can you be TOO self-aware?)

01:54:34 – 02:01:57: Outro + premium submarine updates and reflections

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

the dystopian "NPC" TikTok trend is melting our brains Aug 12, 2023

Show notes

I typically refrain from commenting on trending topics, but I found myself unable to resist discussing this particular one. An unusual (to say the least) TikTok trend has emerged, where users live-stream themselves portraying an “NPC”—essentially an automated “non-player character” with pre-written dialogue. This includes uttering nonsensical phrases like “ice cream so good” in response to gifts from their audience. This trend is spreading rapidly and leaving many of us utterly perplexed. NPCs, or “non-player characters,” are common elements within various video games. These characters aren't under the player's control but engage with players through predetermined dialogue to drive the storyline. The mechanical demeanor of these characters has led to comparisons, inspiring the name of the TikTok NPC trend. In this episode, I'll share my perspective on this trend through my personal experiences, having been involved in sex work and online streaming previously. Is this all harmless entertainment, or does it highlight a more significant concern where we willingly commodify ourselves for financial gain? How far will we allow this to go? Join me as I delve into this dystopian scenario.

Topics explored and questions answered in this episode:

★ What is an NPC?

★ What is the NPC meme and how and when did it begin trending?

★ What is the NPC trend on TikTok?

★ What is NPC streaming and how much do NPC streamers make?

★ What impact does this robotic trend-following behavior have on us as a collective?

★ Does social media make it easier for us to dehumanize one another?

★ How in the hell do we make our way out of this dystopian nightmare?

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

shame series part 7: unmet childhood needs, perfectionism, and public shaming Aug 08, 2023

Show notes

Discover the insidious nature of toxic shame and its potential role as the root cause behind our ongoing suffering and emotional turmoil. At the core of self-sabotage, toxic shame leaves us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Learn how internalized toxic shame manifests uniquely in individuals, evident through feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability, struggles with intimacy, boundary challenges, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability. This episode is the seventh installment of our multi-episode series, aiming to guide you in alchemizing and transmuting your toxic shame.

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 13:48: The sound of toxic shame (listener voicemails)

13:16 – 42:10: Understanding your core childhood dependency needs (how unmet needs in childhood affect us as adults)

42:10 – 47:54: Abandonment through enmeshment in the overt and covert needs of a dysfunctional family system

47:54 – 59:29: Understanding internalized toxic shame and shame spirals

59:29 – 01:14:20: Toxic shame as forced perfectionism in public school systems

01:14:20 – 01:20:51: How peer shaming in childhood leads to internalized toxic shame

01:20:51 – 01:30:05: The devastating impact of digital public shaming and internet “cancel culture”

[PREMIUM]

01:30:05 – 01:36:51: Listener question from Matt (rushing the recovery process)

01:36:51 – 01:51:42: Anonymous listener question (finding self-forgiveness after a shame-inducing mistake)

01:50:47 – 02:02:34: Listener question from Caleb (how to sit with the deep pain of recovery and deal with creative blockages)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

shame series part 6: toxic shame in the aftermath of sexual and physical abuse Aug 01, 2023

Show notes

Discover the insidious nature of toxic shame and its potential role as the root cause behind our ongoing suffering and emotional turmoil. At the core of self-sabotage, toxic shame leaves us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Learn how internalized toxic shame manifests uniquely in individuals, evident through feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability, struggles with intimacy, boundary challenges, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability. This episode is the sixth installment of our multi-episode series, aiming to guide you in alchemizing and transmuting your toxic shame. Join us as we explore how various forms of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse contribute to the development of toxic shame and the initial steps towards healing.

Disclaimer: This episode contains discussions and graphic descriptions of sexual assault and abuse. Listener discretion is advised.

Check out the time stamps below for a more detailed description of the topics covered in this episode:

00:00 – 04:12: Intro + disclaimer (a brief description of what we’ll be discussing)

04:12 – 11:29: Recognizing the different types of sexual abuse

11:29 – 19:59: Covert (hidden) sexual abuse and trauma

19:59 – 32:25: Emotional-sexual abuse

32:25 – 42:07: Physical abuse and toxic shame

42:07 – 54:17: Emotional abuse and toxic shame

54:01 – 01:00:06: How our emotions become shame-bound

01:00:06 – 01:09:35: The impact toxic shame has on the development of sexuality

01:09:23 – 01:12:44: When shame becomes your “master emotion”

PREMIUM PORTION:

01:12:44 – 02:00:03: Toxic shame healing meditation “The Black Bear” [PREMIUM PREVIEW] The Black Bear meditation was inspired by and adapted from an original meditation by Sez Kristiansen.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

shame series part 5: unraveling the impact of abandonment Jul 25, 2023

Show notes

What is this sneaky, yet destructive thing called toxic shame, and could it be the root cause of our continued suffering and emotional dysregulation? Toxic shame lies at the heart of most self-sabotaging behaviors that keep us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Signs of internalized toxic shame can manifest in various ways and differ from person to person. Persistent feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability and intimacy, difficulty setting boundaries, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability can all be indicators of toxic shame. This is part five in a multi-episode series aimed at helping you alchemize and transmute your toxic shame. In this episode, we will explore the devastating impact on our lives when internalized toxic shame becomes our state of being. We will also dive into the different ways abandonment can present in childhood through physical abuse, emotional abandonment, and deprived narcissism.

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 11:24: Intro + reading of my poem “untethered” (the impact of toxic shame in my own life)

11:24 – 14:53: How toxic shame becomes a permanent state of being

14:53 – 19:35: Understanding the connection between toxic shame and abandonment trauma

19:35 – 36:32: Abandonment as physical absence

36:32 – 01:06:24: Abandonment as emotional neglect and deprived narcissism

01:06:24 – 01:12:57: Abandonment as physical abuse

PREMIUM PORTION: In the Premium half of the episode, I discuss my personal healing journey and the positive impact Somatic Experiencing therapy is having on my life. We finish up with a guided pendulation exercise inspired by the work of Peter Levine.

01:12:57 – 01:48:16: How somatic experiencing is helping me get back into my body

01:48:16 – 02:01:50: Guided pendulation exercise inspired by the work of Peter Levine (creator of Somatic Experiencing)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

shame series part 4: how toxic shame fuels dysfunctional family systems Jul 18, 2023

Show notes

This is part four of our multi-episode series aimed at helping you alchemize and transmute your toxic shame. In this episode, we’ll dive into the generational aspect of toxic shame and how it gets passed down and embedded into dysfunctional family systems. We’ll also discuss the various roles and rules in shame-based families and the pervasive impact this has on children in adulthood.

Check out the time stamps below for a more detailed description of the topics covered in this episode.

00:00 – 05:14: Intro + reflections

05:00 – 18:07: How toxic shame sabotages our most important relationships

18:07 – 33:13: A case study of how toxic shame gets passed down throughout generations

33:13 – 48:54: Exploration of the various dysfunctional family roles and their characteristics

48:54 – 01:09:54: Multi-generational shame cycles (how children develop toxic shame)

01:09:54 – 01:30:53: Dysfunctional rules in shame-based families

01:30:58 – 01:36:57: How to become more fully human with the “five freedoms” of Virginia Satir

01:46:37 – 01:59:46: Guided meditation and affirmation session to transmute toxic shame

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

shame series part 3: toxic shame and 'disordered' or 'dysfunctional' personality traits Jul 11, 2023

Show notes

This is part THREE in our multi-episode series aimed at helping you alchemize and transmute your toxic shame. First, we confront the detrimental effects of toxic shame, its correlation with personality disorder labels, and its potential role in criminal behavior. We’ll also tackle how unprocessed toxic shame from childhood can manifest as traits of grandiose narcissism, causing individuals to seek validation through exaggerated self-importance. Finally, we’ll discover how the burden of shame can stifle our spiritual growth and impede our quest for self-discovery and our connection with others. Tune in to this captivating episode as we uncover the deep-rooted effects of toxic shame on our psyche and gain insights into how we can heal and reclaim our authentic selves.

Check out the time stamps below for a more detailed description of the topics covered in this episode:

00:00 – 07:18: Reflecting on what we’ve learned so far and an introduction to this episode’s topics

07:19 – 19:46: Toxic shame and personality disorder labels

19:38 – 34:41: Toxic shame and guilt in criminal behavior (recidivism prediction)

PREMIUM | My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health – “head-fucked by perfectionism (ft. a very special surprise guest)”

34:37 – 37:00: Toxic shame and sexual abuse (will be expanded upon in a further episode)

37:00 – 45:17: How unprocessed toxic shame from childhood can lead to feelings of grandiosity (grandiose narcissism)

45:17 – 49:25: Toxic shame and spiritual starvation

49:25 – 59:24: The dehumanizing quality of toxic shame

59:00 – end: [PREMIUM PORTION] My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health – “head-fucked by perfectionism (ft. a surprise appearance by my partner Zaz)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

shame series part 2: when toxic shame becomes who you are Jul 04, 2023

Show notes

This is part two in a multi-episode series aimed at helping you alchemize and transmute your toxic shame.What is this sneaky, yet destructive thing called toxic shame, and could it be the root cause of our continued suffering and emotional dysregulation? Toxic shame lies at the heart of most self-sabotaging behaviors that keep us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Signs of internalized toxic shame can manifest in various ways and differ from person to person. Persistent feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability and intimacy, difficulty setting boundaries, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability can all be indicators of toxic shame.

Check out the time stamps below for a more detailed description of the topics covered in this episode:

00:00 – 05:56: Reflections from part one

05:56 – 11:06: Why discuss toxic shame?

11:06 – 16:50: Shame and guilt in neurosis

16:50 – 28:52: How childhood shame shapes adult identity

28:52 – 33:03: Understanding traumatic shame and abandonment

33:03 – 37:47: How toxic shame disconnects and freezes you out from your own needs and desires

37:47 – 46:42: How self-shaming = self-alienation

46:42 – 49:02: Toxic shame as the core of codependency

49:02 – 52:18: Toxic shame as related to BPD or ‘borderline personality disorder’

52:18 – 59:19: The role of toxic shame in addiction

59:19 – 01:10:11: How are guilt and toxic shame related?

PREMIUM | 01:10:19 – 01:37:32: My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health – “Out of My Head and Into My Body”

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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