At Last She Said It

Latest Episodes:

Episode 103: What About Missions? A Conversation with Apple Lanman Aug 09, 2022

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There's a lot of pressure around missions in the Church. From the time they are very young, our children hear the clear expectation that they will serve. But the decision to serve, the realities of mission life, the possibility of returning home early, and the pressure to make big life decisions soon after a mission ends, can all weigh heavily on young Latter-day Saints and their families. "The reality of mission life both pre- and post-mission is hard!" says therapist Apple Lanman, who joins Cynthia and Susan for a discussion of some of the complexities—personal, family, cultural, and institutional—surrounding this celebrated rite of passage.

Episode 102: Did It Ever Matter? Aug 02, 2022

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There's a tension in our church between things that change and things that some members consider to be unchangeable. It can be hard to distinguish between the two, and our history would suggest that more things are probably changeable than we think. Figuring out what matters, why it does, and when that may change is an ongoing process, personally and institutionally. To answer those questions for ourselves, we must approach practices and programs in a way that helps us uncover spiritual meaning in them—or sometimes not. In this conversation, Cynthia and Susan talk about some specific changes they've experienced during their church lives, and ask the question: Did that ever matter?

Episode 101: Still Ultimate, Still a Big Deal—BONUS Jul 29, 2022

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In this short bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan say a little bit more about the temple—a topic so big, there will always be more to say.

Episode 100: The Ultimate Big Deal, Part 3 Jul 26, 2022

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For our 100th episode, what could be more fitting than a discussion about the temple? It's the centerpiece of Latter-day Saint worship members believe sets our church apart from all others. Many women can trace their most sacred experiences to it, but for others—from the wording to the rituals—attending the temple causes deep unease. Having complicated feelings about something so reverenced can be a struggle to admit, even to oneself. In this conversation, Cynthia and Susan highlight the emotions and experiences of women who generously shared their hearts with us on this difficult topic.

Episode 099: We Don't Believe Our Own Stuff—Heavenly Mother Edition Jul 19, 2022

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Who we pray to and how we envision God is personal, but the Church organization can and does limit our collective discourse about Heavenly Mother. Many feminists have been disciplined for speaking and writing publicly about Her. What does this silencing say about the importance of the doctrine? And is an unwillingness to allow deeper engagement with the feminine divine in our teaching and worship indicative of the organization's regard for women generally? Why don't we seem to believe our own stuff about one of the most unique—and for many compelling—aspects of our theology?

Episode 098: The Invisible Woman Jul 12, 2022

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The term 'invisible woman' refers to the feeling many women have that they lose social value as their ability to attract the male gaze fades with age. But do older women disappear in church, as well as in society? And how might a woman's spirituality change as she moves through her second half of life? Cynthia and Susan explore their own experiences and those of listeners in this conversation about the impact of aging on women's church lives and personal faith.

Episode 097: Christ Chose Women Jul 05, 2022

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When one thinks about the events of Jesus' life and ministry, it's natural to think about women. The Bible shows us a man whose inclusion of women was radical within its cultural context. Yet for most of history, his namesake religion has been marked by near-total domination of the patriarchy. What happened? Greg Prince once asked Chieko Okazaki a question that bears repeating: "…where do we need to go to get women in the Church where He wants them to be?" In this episode Cynthia and Susan pose that question again in a conversation shining light on a few of the women hidden in plain sight at Christianity's beginnings.

Episode 096: The God of All of Us Jun 28, 2022

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If you grow up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is God a man, a woman, or both? It's a complication we bump up against a lot, if only indirectly, in our religion where God is Heavenly Father, but is also one of a pair of Heavenly Parents. Some members don't seem to notice the absence of the divine feminine in our collective dialogue and worship, while some feel it acutely and yearn for more. But as a church we don't talk about it, so the wrestle with questions is often a private one. In this episode, Susan shares an essay exploring her thoughts and experiences at the intersection of God and gender, then Cynthia joins to add her own insights and ideas. It's a conversation inviting each of us to examine the origins and development of our personal understanding of God.

Episode 095: Everyone Back to Church—BONUS Jun 23, 2022

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In this brief bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss some effects of the pandemic on their own faith and church lives.

Episode 094: Everyone Back to Church...Maybe? Jun 21, 2022

Show notes

The pandemic that interrupted attendance for all members forced an unprecedented change in our personal church habits and activity. It blurred the distinction between work, education, church, and family lives. Many saw the shift to "home-based, church-supported" as a prophetic precursor to this change, and leaned into the opportunity presented by it. For some normal attendance has now resumed, while others are choosing to reengage differently in church activity going forward. For this episode, Cynthia and Susan asked women how the pandemic had affected their personal faith journey and relationship with the Church. What changed? What didn't? And what opportunities for personal and institutional growth might we find by examining our individual and collective experience?

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