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    Christianity

    Ask Christopher West

    Since the early 90’s, author and speaker Christopher West has devoted his life to spreading John Paul II’s revolutionary teaching on human life, love, and sexuality: The Theology of the Body. His beloved wife Wendy, mother of their five children, has served as his confidante, friend, and support through these long years of ministry. In this podcast, Christopher and Wendy combine their wisdom to tackle the toughest questions dealing with vocation, sexuality, marriage, and the Catholic faith.

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    Copyright: © 2024 Theology of the Body Institute

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    Latest Episodes:
    Trust | ACW64 Mar 23, 2020
    Show notes

    Christopher and Wendy talk about the experience of a global pandemic. Can I confess over videochat? I want to get married but I lost my virginity to a previous boyfriend before understanding the church's teaching. How should I approach this in a relationship with my future husband?

    Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

    Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

    Clarification of Marriage Question

    Q0: Christopher and Wendy clarify their answer regarding marriage and the requirements thereof mentioned in the last episode.

    Q1: Can confession be administered over FaceTime?

    Q2: When I was 19, I had a boyfriend, we committed the great sin of having sexual relations without being married. At the time I didn’t knew anything about TOB, I thought having sex was denied by society more than it was a sin, I didn’t new the terrible sin I was committing :(. Now that I’ve grown in my faith and knowledge I’ve met great guys who have been waiting for holy matrimony to have sex but I fear I’m not good enough for them because cause I’m not a virgin.

    Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

    Resources mentioned this week:

    Keep up with our schedule of (potentially online) TOB courses!

    Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
    Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

    If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

    Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

    Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

    Produced by Sounder and Key.


    The Ember Beneath the Ash | ACW63 Mar 16, 2020
    Show notes

    My father is divorced from my mother and in a new relationship, and is now receiving the Eucharist. Should I say something? My husband has a form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. How do I handle this issue within our marriage? In some Christian circles, it's believed that husbands may be justified in cheating if their wives aren't sexually available enough. Where did this mentality come from?

    Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

    Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

    Q1: My parents are divorced, my mom has decided to be by herself for the rest of her life and my dad has a girlfriend. I’ve noticed my mom and dad BOTH take the Eucharist but... you have compared the Eucharist with matrimony so much that I fear they are committing sin. How should I proceed as their daughter?

    Q2: I’ve been married to my husband for over twenty difficult years. We recently discovered through both individual and couples therapy that he most likely lives with a form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. While I have established boundaries that make it clear he is no longer permitted to abuse or threaten me or our children, I still realize that this disorder means he is most likely never going to have a true capacity for self-donative love for me (or anyone). I intend to keep my marriage vows, but what does this mean for the reality of our physically intimate relationship? He has demonstrated time and again that he does not see me as someone to love but as someone to use, and that is unlikely ever to change.

    Q3: I grew up in a Protestant household and church and was taught that if a man cheats on his wife because she is not available enough for him sexually, then it is her fault. What I have read of TOB so far has helped me untwist this a bit. But I am curious if you could go deeper into why this is so wrong and how this idea came about?

    Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

    Resources mentioned this week:

    TOB Head and Heart Immersion Course

    Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
    Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

    If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

    Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

    Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

    Produced by Sounder and Key.


    Called to Life | ACW62 Mar 09, 2020
    Show notes

    My boyfriend is recovering from a pornography addiction, and I'm worried about its effect on our future marriage. Should I be? Do all Catholic weddings have to take place in a Catholic Church? What is the theological/spiritual similarity between life and death?

    Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

    Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

    Q1: My boyfriend and I are preparing for engagement and I do not want that to change. I recently learned that he has struggled with pornography. I know we can work through this and I believe that God's grace can heal us, however, I am scared that I won't believe him when he says he thinks I'm beautiful. I'm worried on our wedding night he will be comparing me to these other women he has seen. I'm scared that I won't want to give myself fully to him and will have a hard time trusting him again.

    Q2: Do all Catholics who marry a Catholic have to get married in the Catholic Church?

    Q3: I thought you have a million answers, but the last podcast made me think that maybe it is a good idea to respond. It was a long time ago, podcast number 13 that you answerd my question about how to better listen to God! I accepted your challenge, and I found out how much God was already speaking to my heart by music and films...when I didn’t know Him. Still trying to figure out "A Chorus Line". Any idead?

    Also, can you can speak about the similarity of birth and death, spiritually/theologically?

    Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

    Resources mentioned this week:

    Called to Life by Fr. Jacques Philippe

    Good News About Sex and Marriage

    The Sign of the Dying Body: How the Theology of the Body Helps Us to Die in Love Article by Diane Windley-Daoust

    Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
    Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

    If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

    Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

    Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

    Produced by Sounder and Key.


    The Holy Land | ACW61 Mar 02, 2020
    Show notes

    Christopher and Wendy take a break from listener questions this week to discuss Christopher's recent pilgrimage to the Holy Land. What does it mean to be a pilgrim? What was walking in the footsteps of Jesus like? What does the Holy Land tell us about the scandal of the "HIC"?

    Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

    Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

    Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

    Resources mentioned this week:

    TOB Institute Pilgrimages

    Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
    Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

    If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

    Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

    Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

    Produced by Sounder and Key.


    The Look of Love | ACW60 Feb 24, 2020
    Show notes

    I know I'm made for motherhood, but in the midst of breastfeeding difficulties, postpartum depression, and other difficulties, my body and brain seem to resist it. How can this be? As a future doctor, how do I lovingly care for transgender patients without affirming a falsehood? My husband relies on sexual intercourse for emotional wellbeing, but I don't seem to be enough for him. How can I help him?

    Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

    Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

    Q1: I know on an intellectual level that I was made for motherhood, but in a physical sense, it seems like my body has resisted. I have struggled to successfully breastfeed despite great efforts. I've also had intense postpartum anxiety and depression each time. It seems my brain chemistry is stealing my joy in motherhood. It makes me really feel this dichotomy. How can I be made for motherhood when my body and brain seem to resist it so much?

    Q2: I am a medical student and I will be going into clinics in a few short months. How should I approach conversation with and documentation of transgender patients? Obviously, these people need to be loved and cared for by their doctors in the same that all patients do, but i suspect that there will be pressure to call them by their preferred pronouns and to refer to them in that way in official documentation of visits. I do not want to cause scandal by affirming a falsehood, but I also do not want to cause them unecessary suffering in a settting wher I may not have time to establish the relationship it takes to unpack confusion.

    Q3: I have seen that my husband relies a lot on sexual intercourse for his emotional well-being, but he's never satisfied. He's been going through very difficult times this past year, mostly because of work-related problems. We also have young children who still wake up at night, and I have a very busy work schedule. We definitely need to work out how and when to take some time for us. But seeing as even when we had time, I was not enough, how can I help him?

    Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

    Resources mentioned this week:

    Theology of the Body for Beginners

    Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
    Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

    If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

    Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

    Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

    Produced by Sounder and Key.


    The Rocky Road to Heaven | ACW59 Feb 17, 2020
    Show notes

    Before understanding TOB, my wife and I underwent sterilization. Can we still teach TOB? As a woman pregnant with her first child, what can TOB say to me? My girlfriend is not Catholic, but respectful of my beliefs, but I feel called to a relationship where we can grow in Christ together. Do you have any advice?

    Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

    Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

    Q1: Before I knew anything about TOB, my wife and I committed the sin of sterilization. We’ve since come to understand what a mistake that was. Can I be a proper teach of TOB when I’ve committed such a sin?

    Q2: I’m pregnant with my first baby and reading up on childbirth. What have you learned about TOB and the experience of pregnancy and birth?

    Q3: I’ve been struggling with my relationship with my girlfriend for quite some time now. We’ve been dating for about 4 years. I’m a devout Catholic, but my girlfriend isn’t. She’s not at all against what I believe and practice, but there’s definitely something more I want from this relationship: growing together in Christ as a couple. Although she knows I dearly want that from our relationship, she seems pretty reluctant and I’m not sure if it will happen. I’m praying for God’s grace and a miracle. What is your advice on this?

    Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

    Resources mentioned this week:

    Theology of the Body at the Movies

    TOB Pilgrimage to Italy with Bill Donaghy and Fr. Leo

    Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
    Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

    If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

    Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

    Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

    Produced by Sounder and Key.


    Wendy Doesn't Like Surprises | ACW58 Feb 10, 2020
    Show notes

    Is it a sin to read steamy romance novels? How is it possible for me as a husband to be totally "disinterested" in my gift of self? Shouldn't I be "interested"? How can I integrate Theology of the Body into my priesthood?

    Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

    Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

    Q1: Is it a sin to read romance novels if they facilitate my sexual relationship with my husband?

    Q2: Hi Wendy and Christopher, thank you very much for your inspiring and faithful testimony to the love of God to us human beings and the assignment He has bestowed upon us that we may learn to love as He loves us! As a Protestant Christian, unfortunately, I was beyond 30 when I discovered JPII's TOB but it has been so inspiring and enriching to my life that I have read all the 129/133 Catechesis.

    Anyway, what I wanted to ask or rather ask for your thoughts on is the notion "Gift of Self". I think that you have qualified this gift of self as "disinterested". To be honest I don't like this qualification! I think what it is supposed to mean is that I should not give a gift of self out of selfish motive? But I think that is something else than "disinterested". Christ's gift of self was certainly not in any way disinterested; moreover, He hoped and prayed that we as humans would respond to his gift of self through offering ourselves to him. I think this qualification is important because otherwise you - or at least I - feel that I have to reach towards something utterly unattainable when I want to give a gift of self to somebody else, and especially my wife. In this situation, I'm not disinterested, but highly interested in receiving her gift of self in return. In fact, that is often what I long for more than anything else. Now, of course, a gift of self should be given freely, totally, faithfully and fruitfully, without demanding or expecting a return-gift-of-self, but I most surely does hope and wish for reciprocity in our mutual giving of self. Being totally disinterested seems to negate the relationship between us. Thanks for commenting on this!

    Q3: I finally caught up on all 46 episodes of your podcast, TOB has been a blessing to me since high school in my own journey of healing. After reading many TOB texts my question is this: how can I as a newly ordained priest formally and informally preach/teach the TOB, especially for youth and young adults? Are there any homily aids by chance?(Christopher, I hear you about garlic/pores and to read your book Good News! :)

    Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

    Resources mentioned this week:

    Word Made Flesh Book Series

    TOB Institute Courses

    Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
    Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

    If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

    Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

    Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

    Produced by Sounder and Key.


    Put It In The Light | ACW57 Feb 03, 2020
    Show notes

    Can a priest have a deep relationship with a female friend? Similarly, can a married man have a deep relationship with a female friend who is not his spouse? What does the Church teach on circumcision?

    Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

    Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

    Q1: To what extent can a priest go in his relationship with a female friend if they both understand that they have been given a deeper connection and a deep friendship that bears fruit through working together in the apostolate. Are they allowed to live that love and express it through a deep emotional and spiritual friendship or do they have to repress and transform it. What exactly includes a vow of purity?

    Q2: Thank you for both of your insight. I am trying to understand boundaries with the opposite sex within my marriage. My husband is a friendly guy and I feel that he does not shield our marriage. We have talked and he is very understanding of my feelings. My question is what insight do you have about relationships with the opposite sex when married? I guess I am not trusting of others or how others might perceive "niceness" in this fallen world, I want to trust and look for the good but am having a hard time.

    Q3: What does the Catholic church teach on circumcision?

    Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

    Resources mentioned this week:

    Springsteen on Broadway on Netflix

    TOB Pilgrimage to the Holy Land with Fr. Thomas Loya

    Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
    Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

    If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

    Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

    Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

    Produced by Sounder and Key.


    The Significance of the Seed | ACW56 Jan 27, 2020
    Show notes

    If masturbation isn't mentioned explicitly as a sin in the Bible, why does the Church teach that it's wrong? If my boyfriend and I feel we aren't ready for children when we get married, can we use NFP with the intention of avoiding pregnancy? I have a minor infection I'm afraid of transmitting to my pregnant wife. Can I use a condom to prevent this?

    Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

    Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

    Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

    Q1: I was discussing with my Protestant friend. He says masturbation isn't wrong if you can do it without lust. In the Bible, it doesn't say that masturbation is wrong, unlike clear cut homosexuality or fornication. How would you explain it to someone who doesn't exactly share the same Catholic faith as us?

    Q2: Should my boyfriend and I wait to get married until we feel ready for children, or can we get married, use NFP, and simply trust that God will only give us a child when He knows we are ready? We really want to get married and begin that chapter of our lives, but the thought of having a child right now is intimidating!

    Q3: We are married and we follow NFP methods. My wife is pregnant and I have a minor infection. Is it possible to use condom during pregnancy in such a situation? Thank you for your enlightenment.

    Resources mentioned this week:

    Our Bodies Tell God's Story: Discovering the Divine Plane for Love, Sex, and Gender

    Feasting on Faith, Food, and Beauty | Italy Pilgrimage | August 9-20, 2020

    Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
    Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

    If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

    Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

    Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

    Produced by Sounder and Key.


    A New Hope | ACW55 Jan 21, 2020
    Show notes

    What do you think about the new Star Wars movies? What about Gone with the Wind? How do I love myself in the woman in the way I know I should?

    Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

    Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

    Q1: Hi Christopher and Wendy! I know you're interested in movies, and that Gone with the Wind is one of the most influential movies ever. Do you have any thoughts on it?

    Q2: As a young woman I find it hard to love myself as I deserve. Do you have any insights as to treating my own sexuality with love and respect, and how do I touch my own body in a pure way?

    Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

    Resources mentioned this week:

    Talk by Fabrice Hadjadj

    Feasting on Food, Faith, and Beauty Pilgrimage

    Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
    Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

    If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

    Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

    Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

    Produced by Sounder and Key.


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