Again With This: Dawson&#8217;s, Melrose, 90210

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BH S08.E10: Child of the Night Feb 19, 2018

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Donna having kicked his ass out of the beach apartment over his cheque fraud, David decides he might as well also confess his financial idiocy to his father. Or, rather, to confess most of it: while Mel swiftly recommends filing bankruptcy for the sake of David's creditors and even gives David the money to replace what he stole from Donna, there's no line item in Mel's plan for paying back David's loan shark. And yet David is extremely blasé about keeping all his fingers intact, finding time to pack up his shit when his repayment is already a day late, and taking a morning off to go down to Donna's job and pick a fight over Val's report that she spotted Donna and Noah on the Martins' boat, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Brandon and Kelly resume looking for Erica now that she's stolen everything of value from the Walsh house and fled back to the streets, but things get more complicated when (a) they meet her roommate and fellow sex worker Julie, who may have problems so big even they can't solve them; and (b) Brandon publishes Erica's story -- concealing her name -- in the Beat and immediately starts getting harangued by the ADA and Kelly to reveal Erica's identity so the authorities can prosecute her pimp. Steve tries to get Carly to convince Jody not to have her baby, but when Carly defects to Team Jody, Steve realizes he has to stop running from his responsibilities.

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BH S08.E09: Friends, Lovers & Children Feb 12, 2018

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The show that not only can't get back the opening-credits cast members for very occasional cameos but can barely even remember the characters they played ever existed is, in its eighth season, reallyimposing on the viewer's patience by bringing back Dylan............'s sister Eric for the first time since Season 5. And she's gone through some changes! Like, she's changed into a completely different actor! Also she's a streetwalker now. (Did Noley "Original Erica" Thornton quit the biz? Did her parents refuse to let her play a sex worker? Did the show just fail to meet her quote? We don't know; if you do, please tell us.) After Brandon and Kelly have a chance encounter with her at her corner, they embark upon a mission to rescue her from the life, whether or not she's actually ready or willing to go along with their plans. David still can't work money: literally at the moment Donna's opening her bank statement and discovering that her boyfriend embezzled from her, said boyfriend is at dinner with a loan shark getting five more figures into scary, illegal debt. Still wounded about Val's having two-timed him, Noah yells at her, starts a bar fight, and drunkenly tells Brandon that, actually, he doesn't really need to work on boats for the money because he is loaded -- not rich, but wealthy. Will Brandon be able to keep this secret from Val the sudden gold-digger? Finally, just as Steve is figuring out his responsibilities as someone developing a paternal relationship with a kid, some broad from his past that we've never seen before shows up with some big news. Well, actually, at the moment it's still just small news. But it's growing into bigger news every day.

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BH S08.E08: Toil and Trouble Feb 05, 2018

Show notes

You know how David's been having money issues all season? Well, it turns out solutions like closing down the club for a week and trying to make a racist band happen haven't actually helped, and now shit's really dire: he's at immediate risk of eviction, which somehow doesn't induce a bank to give him the loan he's applied for! Noticing the corner he's painted himself into, David gets really desperate, and makes a decision that's really dumb. He also skips a big fundraising ball Kelly's Foundation Foundation has thrown, but it's probably just as well: no one there has much fun -- particularly not Val, when both her beaux show up, and this time she can't wriggle out of their finding out about each other. Donna manages to line up a new client who's less interested in having Donna shop for her and instead sets her to organizing a séance. Also, Kelly and Brandon can't stop boning in public and we are furious about it.

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BH S08.E07: Pride and Prejudice Jan 29, 2018

Show notes

As Kelly heads out to start her job at the Foundation Foundation instead of taking several more weeks off to think about how she betrayed Brandon by failing to corroborate his pick at the police lineup, Brandon continues riding Detective Woods about the single biggest crime in Los Angeles for which justice has yet to be served: the case of no one making Brandon feel better. And when he's not on the phone, he's having more flashbacks about his failure to prevent Kelly from getting shot. He's a lot of fun! Speaking of fun: Donna still hasn't backed down on her judgment of David's bigoted clients, including when they attract the interest of a record label A&R guy who's ready to sign them to a five-figure contract. What better time for the band to escalate from conversational racism to songs that advocate full-on race war? Donna can't focus entirely on David's problems, though, since she has to deal with the fact that she's lost all her clients...or is it that Val's stolen them? Donna gets revenge the best way she knows how: by weaponizing STUFF.

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BH S08.E06: The Right Thing Jan 22, 2018

Show notes

When Brandon, the august editor of the Beverly Beat, finds out that his developing story on sweatshop labour at a local apparel company implicates the former owner of his publication and its current publisher's father, he reaches out to a colleague at another publication to cover it without being accused of a conflict of interest. Just kidding! He sends Steve, not a journalist, to get the truth out of Rush. Fortunately for everyone, Donna's source is able to stop by the office to speak to someone about her experience, and crying women are Steve's Kryptonite. Elsewhere, David is having a harder and harder time ignoring how racist the band he's managing is; Val and Noah are still being extremely annoying in whatever passes for a relationship between them; and when Kelly fails to identify Brandon's shooter at a police lineup, Brandon is extremely understanding about it, jk lol he's a bitch about it.

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BH S08.E05: Coming Home Jan 15, 2018

Show notes

Donna's publicist David will be the first to tell you that Donna graduated at the top of her class at CU with a degree in Fashion Marketing. And yet at no point in her four years of college did it ever come up, in any of her classes, that the fashion industry is built on unethical -- indeed, immoral -- labour practices...or so we must surmise based on her naïve reactions to everything going on at Soho Mix & Match. Did the non-native English speaker protecting her boss from accusations about its apparently underage employees know she's entitled to earn a minimum wage in this country??!!?!? Since Donna doesn't get very far, it's up to the Beverly Beat to break this story -- something everyone who works there is extremely qualified to do. Elsewhere, Val gets possessive about Noah while blowing off a guy she knows to be a millionaire, and Kelly tries to force herself to love Brandon the way everyone keeps telling her she should. We discuss it all!

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BH S08.E04: The Way We Weren’t Jan 08, 2018

Show notes

As Kelly starts the slow and agonizing process of trying to recover her memory after suddenly developing amnesia, Brandon does his part by being extremely territorial about a woman who remembers zero things about him. Helpful! Elsewhere, Steve seems to think his ill-conceived plan to become a sports agent is going to impress Carly so much she drops her objections and starts dating him; and when Donna starts her job as a fashion executive's personal assistant, said executive's pooch Goliath has no choice but to run away from all her STUFF.

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BH S08.E03: Forgive & Forget Jan 01, 2018

Show notes

Kelly got shot, which you think would consume all her very best friends' time, energy, and focus, and yet: when he's not picking Kelly's shooter out of a lineup with extreme (misplaced?) confidence, Brandon's fielding calls about job opportunities; Donna's taking interviews; Val's still hitting on Noah (but then again, it's hardly as if Val cares whether Kelly lives or dies). Don't worry, though: Kelly may say she's sick of talking about herself, but before the episode's done she'll have come up with another way of turning everyone's attention back where it belongs.

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BH S08.E01: Aloha Beverly Hills Dec 25, 2017

Show notes

Our remaining characters have all graduated CU. Now what? Well: everyone needs a job except for David (running the Peach Pit After Dark into the ground) and Kelly (somehow: she's going to be working at a Foundation that, let's hope, isn't actually a cult). Naturally, therefore, they all decide to join Donna for her first assignment as a fashion stylist...in Waikiki! Where they run into Brandon's ex-girlfriend Tracy, and have a marine meet-cute with fifteenth-generation Dylan photocopy Noah. Along the way, some models almost drown, Steve gets a terrible sunburn, and David slides into a lagoon and a near-death experience. Will Steve even make it home to continue witlessly hitting on single mom Carly? We discuss it all on the podcast!

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