Again With This: Dawson&#8217;s, Melrose, 90210

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BH S08.E29: Ricochet Jul 09, 2018

Show notes

It's been a while since the show gave David something he could really be stressed out, so: time for him to get robbed at (possible) gunpoint while taking money out at an ATM. Noah's got the perfect solution: he should get a gun, like Noah did: he's got one behind the bar and one on his stupid boat! David starts the process, but he has to wait eleven days to take possession of his confidence and self-worth. Meanwhile, we don't have to wait long for evidence that Noah does need protection on his stupid boat, when he brings Donna back there to find a woman waiting to ambush them: it's his childhood friend Gwyneth, who arranged to visit as soon as she saw Noah in a magazine. Turns out it wasn't so that they could catch up: the article said Noah was single, and Gwyneth has designs on him. But Noah quickly cuts off her attempted kiss...and Gwyneth's night only gets worse from there, with an assist from drunk David. Val is contacted by a representative from the Red Cross, who tells her she's matched with a leukemia patient who needs her bone marrow if he's to have a chance to survive. But when Val hears about the potential recipient's dark past, she questions whether she should have any part in keeping him alive. Kelly continues to be testy all the time, which she finally admits is because she still doesn't trust Brandon's cheating ass. In response, Brandon deploys the nuclear option. And when the Beat interviews assistant candidates -- a process Steve co-opts into speed dates -- everyone's annoyed when the best applicant turns out to be the one Steve wants to bone. We've got "Ricochet" in our sights in the latest Again With This podcast!

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BH S08.E28: Skin Deep Jul 02, 2018

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Kelly's notions of feminism have, over the years, perplexed us in their inconsistency; "Skin Deep" compresses all her worst instincts and muddiest thinking in a single episode. Brandon has decided to write about the grand opening (heh) of Beverly Hills's first sex shop, which has already attracted protesters even before its manager has opened the doors. Among those protesters is Kelly, who is suddenly a sex-negative scold: she confronts Brandon in front of Steve and Muntz over the Playpenmagazine she found in their room; she tars all porn with the same misogynist brush; and she blames the unrealistic expectations it sets for women for her mother's decision to get a face lift and for Erin's choice of frozen yogurt over ice cream to avoid consuming empty calories. (Telling Erin she doesn't need to worry about that because she's thin is just one of many moments suggesting that Kelly hasn't totally refined her ideas about the male gaze.) The sex shop also comes (heh heh) between David and Val: first, David brings home a bag of toys but has no idea what to do with them; then Val brings home a bag of toys and freaks David out, because he is stupid. Also, Steve -- coming off his mistreatment of Janet on their date to his reunion -- is newly interested in her when she frankly and unapologetically expresses her interest in sex. She just may not be interested in sex with Steve. At the same time, Donna's over at The Only Modeling Agency In Town, supervising the photo shoot for her first catalogue. A stylist on set is extremely keen and enthusiastic and doing a great job for Donna except for the way she's bleeding on the wardrobe, because she's a secret cutter. St. Donna to the rescue! We discuss it all in our Again With This podcast on "Skin Deep"!

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BH S08.E27: Reunion Jun 25, 2018

Show notes

It's been five years since the gang graduated from West Beverly High, and since someone at the network presumably had the sense to predict that this crew wasn't going to make it to their ten-year reunion, we're made to suffer through their stupid, pointless five-year reunion. No, that doesn't mean we get appearances from Brenda, Dylan, or DeadScott's restless ghost; only Gabrielle Carteris had nothing better to do, so Andrea returns to let us all know she's desperately unhappy and that her marriage is on the verge of collapse. Brandon -- currently dating a woman who's already dumped him twice -- decides he's an expert on relationships (as well as everything else), and that it should therefore fall to him to bray her into making things work with Jesse. Among the many West Beverly alumni we've never seen before is Ross Webber, Kelly's rapist -- someone she identifies to Val but not to her "partner," Brandon. Donna accepts that Noah doesn't want to be her date right up until the moment he gets profiled in a magazine piece about hot young L.A. business owners that describes him as single, whereupon she proceeds to make a federal case about his commitment to her. David bristles at Val's suggestion that they go to the reunion and lie their faces off about how great their lives are, particularly since their entire social circle will also be there and know the truth, but stupidly acquiesces. And Janet finagles an invitation for herself to go as Steve's date -- which he, of course, pretty much immediately makes her regret. We're sharing the superlative Most Likely To Barf in our podcast on "Reunion"!

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BH S08.E26: All That Glitters Jun 18, 2018

Show notes

Somehow, a real journalist (named Peter Raitt) has become aware of Brandon's work in the Beverly Beat, and somehow, it's convinced him to partner with Brandon on a story about a proposed football stadium. Brandon is so busy sucking up, he doesn't notice that Kelly is in the midst of a crisis regarding Chris, an intellectually disabled man who works the night shift at the clinic but may have to give up his job now that his mother's work schedule has changed and she can no longer drive him. Kelly gets way too involved, ignoring Chris's mother's warnings about his capacity and the stress the busy day shift will cause him and basically ruins everyone's life, again. Val has nothing but bad news to dish out this week: first, that David the idiot hasn't set aside enough money to pay his taxes; and second, that the bracelet Noah gave Donna is paste. (One of these is, of course, actually fun.) And Jill and Steve are, against all reason, still happening. We can't believe it either, as you'll hear in our podcast on "All That Glitters"!

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BH S08.E25: Aunt Bea’s Pickles Jun 11, 2018

Show notes

We all know that Brandon considers his job at the Beverly Beat a waste of his prodigious talents -- so much so that even after publicly reaffirming his commitment to it in the last episode, he's already prepared to edit the Beat on the side while joining the Los Angeles Chronicle as a reporter on the Metro desk. Somehow, despite being a journalist ostensibly focused on local news, it has entirely escaped his notice that the Chronicle's reporters are striking, and that Brandon is only being offered this job because the paper needs scabs. Certainly we've always thought of Brandon as a scab in the sense that he's the unsightly result of a wound, but is he the other kind too? Val and Kelly are horrified to discover that their unattached parents are actually serious about dating, and briefly join forces in order to try to reverse-Parent Trap them into breaking up. Though Noah might have had cause to believe his plot to buy Donna success as a fashion designer would never, ever be detected by his dumb baby of a girlfriend, she's a tiny bit smarter than any of us gave her credit for. And yes, somehow, the saga of Steve, Jill, and Ted still isn't over. Listen as we discuss "Aunt Bea's Pickles"!

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BH S08.E24: The Nature Of Nurture Jun 04, 2018

Show notes

So Kelly was all about getting that confused teen mother, Leanne, to take back the baby she abandoned at the clinic. But when that teen mother, Leanne, let Kelly know that, actually, leaving the baby was the right call, Kelly decided that, actually, Kelly should foster the baby...which is why, when Pam tells her that, actually, her agency has found a pair of qualified foster parents to take the baby, suddenly Kelly is a homophobe who doesn't think a baby should be raised in a household without a mother. Brandon doesn't necessarily agree, and lets her know in the form of a cover story in the Beat, which alerts Leanne to the baby's fate because Brandon doesn't have the sense to use a goddamn pseudonym. So then Leanne wants Kelly's help to recover the baby so that he isn't raised by "queers," and Kelly has to face her own bigotry when it's looking back at her out of Jessica Alba's face. Also Kelly's father's out of prison and dating Val's mom. Brandon and Steve battle over whether it's more important to keep the Beat afloat by taking cigarette ads or let it die on principle -- that is, while Steve isn't continuing to pretend he's Jill's pen pal Ted. Noah engages in shenanigans to get Donna's fashion career back on track (which is to say: finds a new way to control the world with his money). And David's new neighbour, another washed-out rock star, helps David remember what he loves about music. We discuss "The Nature Of Nurture" in our latest Again With This podcast!

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BH S08.E23: Making Amends May 28, 2018

Show notes

Brandon already took a giant dump all over journalistic ethics the last time the Beverly Beatchronicled David's music career, but that was when it was on the rise: perhaps Brandon's now trying to balance the scales by exploring the fallout from David's decision to pursue Jasper's Law's record deal minus...you know, Jasper. It seems as though Jasper knows what's behind The Rise And Rise Of David Silver, though, so Brandon must pursue the allegation that David's stupid song got so much radio play because of Frank's payola on his behalf. There's more going on at the paper that doesn'tinvolve publishing stories about current events: Steve's also convinced himself he's in love with a woman named Jill after reading her half of her correspondence with some guy named Ted who gave Terri the wrong forwarding address. Kelly's latest professional overreach involves her trying to reunite an abandoned newborn with the teen mom -- Jessica Alba! -- who left him at the clinic. Kelly may not have convince the terrified child that she's ready for motherhood, but in the process convinces herself that she is, and that this baby should be hers. Donna survives her drug overdose, but must face the consequences: the loss of her job at Child's Play, her various doctors' advice that she seek counseling for the issues that led her to abuse drugs in the first place, and Noah hanging around trying to fix her. Let's talk about all of it in our Again With This podcast on "Making Amends"!

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BH S08.E22: Law & Disorder May 21, 2018

Show notes

In show time, Noah raped Valerie less than a week ago, so of course, now they're in court as Val pursues her civil case against him. Val's lawyer is confident that the facts make Noah a poor defendant -- the poor little rich boy who got drunk and had sex with a woman who wasn't his girlfriend (anymore) -- but Noah's lawyer knows some things about Val, like that she faked a pregnancy before Noah even knew her, and got arrested for bookmaking in the extremely recent past. Reputations are tarnished on both sides, but all the character witnesses on Noah's side may not be able to counter-balance the damning testimony Val's counsel gets out of Josh. Donna is also very interested in getting in touch with Josh, because she's got cascading deadlines at work, she's already hoovered all the pills her dad prescribed, and she's jonesing real bad. David takes a break from failing in his career to fail his newest friend Jasper: the record label is only interested in David, but is David interested in going forward with them if it means scumbagging the guy who gave him a chance to play again? We dig into "Law And Disorder" in our latest Again With This podcast!

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BH S08.E21: The Girl Who Cried Wolf May 14, 2018

Show notes

When Val makes a charge of rape against Noah, how do her friends react? Well, inasmuch as they are generally terrible friends to her, they're pretty much all awful. Kelly is sure Val's only in it for the payday. Steve ties the incident back to her fake-pregnancy extortion scheme. Brandon's not sure what to think, but believing a woman isn't exactly his default position. Donna actually manages to give Valerie the benefit of the doubt, though it's hard to know whether that's because every boyfriend she's ever had has cheated on her, or because of the pills -- which Josh is now helpfully supplementing with uppers. Brandon and Steve find time away from Valerie's legal issues to seek out some of their own -- specifically, by asking Steve's cop friend Tammy and her partner Glen to take them on a ride-along so they can do an extremely biased story about it for the Beat. The experience teaches them the shocking fact that sometimes police officers use excessive force, but not that this is a matter their readers should probably know about. We take you through "The Girl Who Cried Wolf" in our latest podcast!

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