Adoption Wise

Latest Episodes:

#29: Celebrate Your Child’s Birthday and Live to Tell About It Mar 05, 2019

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Birthdays are great, right? Sometimes they are, but not always. Some of our kids find birthdays to be really stressful, and those feelings can come out in all kinds of ways. In this episode, we talk about celebrating our kids' birthdays with special attention paid to the unique needs of kids with early trauma. We explore reducing anxiety, honoring first families, and having realistic expectations. Links Relevant to this episode: Love Languages How to Honor Birth Family on Birthdays (and why) Mentor Moments: "Can you talk about how to determine an appropriate level of interaction with birth family when adoptive kids have permission/ability to have contact but parents are either in prison, actively addicted or just unreliable?" If you're coming to Refresh next week, text @taconnect to 81010, so we can text you the location for our Saturday lunch meet up!

#28: Hope for Youth Aging Out of Foster Care with Pam Parish Feb 26, 2019

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Did you know there are 700 kids who age out of foster care each year just in Georgia? 97% of youth who age out without a significant, stable person in their lives will end up in poverty or worse. 70% of male youth who age out will end up in jail or prison. There is a solution to these dire statistics. Today's guest, Pam Parish, tells us what that is. She also talks about ways we can support these youth and change their futures. Pam Parish is the founder of Connections Homes an Atlanta-based organization impacting the lives of young adults who are aging out of foster care, homeless or without family. She and her husband, Steve, are the parents of seven young adult daughters. One of their daughters came to them through the gift of birth and six through the gift of foster care and adoption. They are also Pops and Nana to four adorable grandchildren. Links Relevant to this episode: #11: Hope for Battle-Weary Parents with Pam Parish Pam's Website Pam's books (including The Gift) The Adoption Connection Facebook Group Lisa and Melissa answer this reader question: How do I handle parenting multiple children with high needs and challenging behaviors?

#27: Tips for Getting Chores Done Feb 19, 2019

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Chores - do you make your kids do them? Is it worth it? What if your child refuses to do his chore? In this episode, Lisa and Melissa talk about the importance of including our kids in the work of the family, while also being mindful of our kids' needs and abilities. We talk about how and when our families do chores and how we avoid huge conflicts. Don't miss this practical episode. Join the discussion about chores in our private Facebook group. Click here to join. Links Relevant to this episode: How To Get Your Kids To Do Chores (Without Resenting It) Kids and Chores [Video] 5 Tips: Chores for Kids from "Hard Places"

#26: What To Do When Your Child is Out of Control with Robyn Gobbel Feb 12, 2019

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Picture this, your child is falling apart, ramping up, and he's totally flipped his lid. Your fear starts to creep up. How do you make him stop? You've been there, right? So have we. In this week's episode, Robyn Gobbel helps us understand what is happening in us and our kids during times of dysregulation. Then she offers practical tips to help our children regulate. Don't miss her explanation about the importance of matching our children's energy in the moment, which is different from being calm. Links Relevant to this episode: Robyn on Facebook Gobbel Counseling Website Episode 6: Helping Kids Process Scary Events with Robyn Gobbel Episode 25: Regulating Through Movement and Play with Robyn Gobbel Mentor Moments: This week Lisa and Melissa answer the question: "When you have been in the trenches and people say things like....'You knew what you were getting in to' or 'It was your choice to adopt,”...How does one gracefully respond?"

#25: Regulating Through Movement and Play with Robyn Gobbel Feb 05, 2019

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Why is it so hard for our kids to stay calm and regulated? And how can we help them learn how to do it? Today's guest, Robyn Gobbel, gives us a great explanation of how our kids' brains respond to stressors. She offers us practical ways to help them regulate through movement that is: Rhythmic Repetitive Relational Somatosensory Links Relevant to this episode: Robyn on Facebook Gobbel Counseling Website Episode 6: Helping Kids Process Scary Events with Robyn Gobbel Episode 26: What To Do When Your Child is Out of Control with Robyn Gobbel The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Bruce Perry (this is an affiliate link) Go Noodle Mentor Moments: This week Lisa and Melissa answer the question: "How can I feel okay with fostering a child I don’t feel I can adopt but still want to foster so the child in question can become stable enough to move on at the right time? How do I reconcile that in my head and in my heart?"

#24: My 2 Parts in the Triad: Melissa’s Story of Being an Adoptee and Adoptive Mom Jan 29, 2019

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Do happy adoptees exist? In this episode, Lisa interviews Melissa about her life as a Korean adoptee, what her parents did right, connections to culture, and many other fascinating topics. We also talk about her life as an adoptive mom and how being an adoptee influences her. Like Lisa, Melissa holds two roles in the adoption triad. She's an adult adoptee and an adoptive mom. Her positive adoption experience contributed to her decision to become an adoptive mom, which has been a much more complex journey. We hope you love this episode as much as we enjoyed creating it. Links Relevant to this episode: #23: My 2 Parts in the Triad -Lisa’s Story of Being a Birthmom and Adoptive Mom Join our Facebook group The volunteers who held Melissa from Korea to Baltimore.First day home.Melissa with mom and siblings.Melissa with her best friend.Some of the family together for Christmas 2018!

#23: My 2 Parts in the Triad -Lisa’s Story of Being a Birthmom and Adoptive Mom Jan 22, 2019

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Have you ever felt like you're standing in two worlds simultaneously? We're not referring to science fiction, we're talking about holding two of the three roles in the adoption triad. In this week's episode, Melissa interviews Lisa about being a birth/first mom and an adoptive mom. Lisa talks about her experience of losing her first son to adoption, grief and loss, bitterness, healing and restoration, and how she became the most unlikely adoptive mom. There's lots of vulnerability in this interview, and quite a few tears (we had to stop recording at least once). It's tender and personal, please listen with care. Links Relevant to this episode: #6: Helping Kids Process Scary Events with Robyn Gobbel #9: Are Newborn Adoptions Easier? (with Rebecca Vahle) where she talks about the wedding and funeral in the same room LISA: ON FOLLOWING GOD INTO THE HARD + UNEXPECTED ADOPTION + RESIDENTIAL TREATMENT CENTERS (Lisa's interview on Jamie Finn's podcast, The Real Mom Podcast)

#22: Winning the Heart of Your Child with Mike Berry Jan 15, 2019

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Do you ever wonder if you're doing the right thing as a parent? Do you wonder if you're focusing on the right things? Today's guest is our friend, Mike Berry, who talks about what matters most, the hearts of our children. Their behavior, appearance, successes, and failures are not the core of who they are. We want to reach their hearts and develop relationships that will last a lifetime. Mike shares great wisdom from his, soon to be released book, Winning the Heart of Your Child: 9 Keys to Building a Positive Lifelong Relationship with Your Kids. Links Relevant to this episode: Pre-Order Mike's new book Confessions of an Adoptive Parent Blog Confessions of an Adoptive Parent on Facebook Confessions of an Adoptive Parent on Instagram Mentor Moments: This week Lisa and Melissa answer the question: "Can you talk about how to determine an appropriate level of interaction with birth family when adoptive kids have permission/ability to have contact but parents are either in prison, actively addicted or just unreliable?" The Weary Parent's Guide to Escaping Exhaustion Discover 9 simple steps to help you regain strength and better care for you. Learn the importance of setting aside personal time, and how to do this while still providing care for your children. Create a plan for finding fulfillment each day of your parenting journey. Discover the power of key attitude shifts and how they can make all the difference in better caring for you. Send Me The Download *If you're already on our email list, you automatically receive each week's download in our Quick Connection email.

#21: Looking to the New Year with a Plan Jan 08, 2019

Show notes

What are your hopes and dreams for 2019? Are you making resolutions or setting goals? Today we talk about how we plan for a new year, what's important to us, how we set goals and one of the most important things to keep in mind. We offer specific tips and tools to help you move toward the things that matter most in your life. Links Relevant to this episode: My Life is Written in Pencil Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy)

#20: The Bitter and Sweet of Foster Care Reunification with Jamie Finn Dec 18, 2018

Show notes

"I couldn't do foster care because I'd never be able to give them back." How many times have you heard this, said this, felt this? There's no doubt, it's so hard to love and care for a child and then return him to his family. And yet... Lisa sat down with Jamie Finn to talk about the bitter and the sweet of loving children and then letting them go. Jamie shares her journey from viewing herself as the rescuer of children to being a loving support to them and their birth families. This was a beautiful conversation - we hope you enjoy it. Relevant Links Jamie writes at Foster the Family Blog Connect with Jamie on Instagram or Facebook Learn more about the Foster the Family non-profit Listen to Jamie interview Lisa Listen to Jamie interview Melissa Mentor Moments: This week Lisa and Melissa answer the question: "My extended family expects us to join in the family holiday gathering. My kids are doing pretty well, but I want to set them up for success and minimize the chances of a huge meltdown. Can you give me some ideas?"

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