Adoption Wise

Latest Episodes:

#09: Are Newborn Adoptions Easier? (with Rebecca Vahle) Oct 02, 2018

Show notes

A lot of parents check certain boxes looking for a "lower risk" adoption. The thought is that the younger a child comes to you, the "easier" it will be because less has happened to the child. Sometimes parents of children adopted as newborns do not recognize challenging behaviors as due to trauma. Children often go misdiagnosed or the parents mistakenly think that it's all their fault. If you adopted an infant or are looking to adopt a newborn, don't miss this interview with Rebecca Vahle. Rebecca Vahle is the Founder and Director of Training and Curriculum Development for the Family to Family Support Network (FFSN), a pro-education, non-profit organization. FFSN began as the Family to Family Adoption Support Network Program at Parker Adventist Hospital in Parker, Colorado in 2004. The program, created by Rebecca, was the first hospital-based adoption support program in the nation and has been recognized as defining best practice in handling the complex, emotional and logistical needs present in infant adoptions in the hospital setting. In 2015, FFSN was created to share and expand the program and care model into hospitals nationwide with the goal of educating healthcare professionals on the complexities of serving all unique families and empowering hospitals to be a hub of resources to connect families early in pregnancy with needed community resources. Links Relevant to this episode: Family to Family Support Network website FFSN FB page Lisa and Melissa answer this reader question: What should I look for when seeking a mental health professional to work with our family? If you have a holiday survival tip to share, leave a comment below or, better yet, leave a message on our listener feedback line at 208-741-3880. [FREE DOWNLOAD] What to Look for in a Mental Health Professional

#08: Parenting Teens and Young Adults with the Future in Mind Sep 25, 2018

Show notes

Do you have teens or young adults? We get more questions about parenting this group than any other. We both currently have teens at home and have launched several of our young adults. Parenting teens and young adults has unique rewards and challenges, especially when our teens have experienced trauma and adverse experiences. We’ve learned from our mistakes and successes. In the end, it all comes down to one key thing and we can’t wait to tell you about it. Don’t miss this episode about parenting with the future in mind! Additional posts about parenting teens and young adults Older Child Adoption | What I Would Have Done Differently 10 Disastrous Mistakes Parents Make in Older Child Adoption Older Child Adoption | What We Did Right More Lessons in Older Child Adoption 12 Practical Tips for Parenting Teens A Three-Point Plan for Parenting Middle Schoolers

#07: Tips for Advocating for Your Child at School with Sandi Lerman Sep 18, 2018

Show notes

Kids with a history of trauma and adverse experiences often struggle in a traditional learning environment. As parents, it's daunting to know how to best advocate for your student. You may feel like it's you against the school and no one is on your side. This week Sandi Lerman, MA Ed, shares her best tips for helping your child get the free and appropriate education the law requires. Sandi Lerman is an Education Consultant and the proud Mama Bear of a 17-year old who was adopted at age 10 from Guatemala. Additionally, she is founder of WingBuilder, LCC, providing parent training and coaching for parents of adopted children and others with developmental trauma through her HEART-STRONG™ Parenting Program. Through her years of experience as an educator and parent, Sandi walks us through a step-by-step process for navigating the education system. Links Relevant to this episode: Sandi's website. Families in FLIGHT (Family Love Inspiring Growth and Healing Transformation) FB Group Teaching with Connection FB Group Wright's Law Directory of Parent Training and Information Centers (PTI) and Community Parent Resource Centers (CPRC) State-by-State Help Lisa and Melissa answer this reader question: My biggest parenting challenge is bonding with my toddler. Can you give me some suggestions?

#06: Helping Kids Process Scary Events with Robyn Gobbel Sep 11, 2018

Show notes

If you’ve ever wondered how to help your child process frightening events, don’t miss this great interview with Robyn Gobbel. Robyn is a therapist whose clinical practice is focused exclusively on working with families of children who have experienced a history of toxic stress and complex trauma. How should we talk to our kids about scary events in the world? And what if we’re really afraid too? Robyn answers the question, “Should we fake it till you make it?” She also gives tips for calming ourselves and gives us a great example of how to help kids process traumatic events. Links Relevant to this episode: Robyn's website. Robyn on Facebook. Robyn's posts on creating a trauma story. #25: Regulating Through Movement and Play with Robyn Gobbel #26: What To Do When Your Child is Out of Control with Robyn Gobbel Lisa and Melissa answer this reader question: Do these older kids ever launch?

#05: Giving Voice to Siblings Sep 04, 2018

Show notes

If your family is a blend of kids by birth and adoption/foster care, or if you had an established family created by adoption and then added new children from “hard places,” don’t miss this interview with Lisa’s daughter, Annarose. How do siblings in the family feel, and what do they experience, when you add children to the family through adoption or foster care? What if the new children come with lots of challenges? In this episode, Lisa interviews her daughter and middle child of eleven, Annarose, about the challenges and blessings of being a sister to kids through adoption. Annarose loves life, adventure, and Jesus. At the time of the interview, she was studying abroad in Colombia, South America. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Links Relevant to this episode: Have your children take Lisa's sibling survey here. Giving Voice to Siblings Part 1 and Part 2. Big Kid Date Night What about the siblings? Lisa and Melissa answer this reader question: My child has more challenges than nearly any other child I know. Should I have my child tested and diagnosed?

#04: How to Talk to Your Kids About Their Story Aug 28, 2018

Show notes

Many adoptive and foster parents have questions about how and when to talk with their kids about their stories. What if your child’s story is really hard? Should you tell them the truth? How old should they be? Don’t miss this interview with Lisa’s mentor and friend Jayne Schooler. She is an adoptive mom, co-creator (with her husband, David) of Trauma Competent Caregiver training, and author of multiple books related to adoption and foster care. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Jayne's Books Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families The Whole Life Adoption Book: Realistic Advice for Building a Healthy Adoptive Family Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child, Making Sense of the Past Journeys After Adoption: Understanding Lifelong Issues Links Relevant to this episode: Back2Back Ministries Hospitious Adoption (free pdf download) Lisa and Melissa answer this reader question: We've always homeschooled and assumed it would be best for building attachment with our newly adopted children, but it doesn't seem to be working out. What should we do? Disclosure: This post includes affiliate links and The Adoption Connection may earn a commission if you shop through the links.

#03: Tips for a Drama-free Morning Aug 21, 2018

Show notes

Mornings can be tough- school mornings can be even tougher. Moms often ask us for strategies to smooth out the morning so we don’t all feel frazzled and defeated by 8 am. Lisa and Melissa walk through their favorite tips and strategies to help you create a drama-free morning for your family.

#02: A Dad’s Journey to Connected Parenting Aug 14, 2018

Show notes

The transition from traditional parenting to connected parenting presents challenges for many of us. It looks and feels different from the way we were parented and (if we already have children) the way we're already parenting. We all experience this transition differently. Today, we hear from a dad who took the plunge into this new way of parenting for the sake of his kids and found himself changed by it. If you're new to connected parenting, or you and your husband can't quite get on the same page, this interview is for you. If you're a foster or adoptive dad, you will love hearing Mark Vatsaas share his story. Mark Vatsaas is a parent coach and a moderator of the very popular Facebook group, Parenting with Connection. How to connect with Mark: Seen and Heard coaching Facebook page Seen and Heard Mark's website Links Relevant to this episode: The Connected Child Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Dr. David Cross Empowered to Connect Parenting with Connection Facebook group Mark is an active moderator Lisa and Melissa answer this reader question: Should I change my adopted child's name?

#01: Sensory Tips for Helping Kids Learn Aug 07, 2018

Show notes

Do you have a child who never stops moving or who refuses to do certain activities? He may actually have trouble processing the information coming from his different senses. Lisa and Melissa both have sons with unique sensory needs. This can make learning more challenging, and frankly, school is hard enough for some of our kids with early trauma. We're thrilled to bring you an expert on meeting children's sensory needs in a learning environment. Don't miss this interview with Noelle Maher. She gives practical tips for helping your child focus and learn by meeting his sensory needs. How to Connect with Noelle: Find her on Facebook as Noelle Veilleux Maher Lisa and Melissa answer this reader question: How can I help my daughter regulate when she is ramping up to be aggressive, disrespectful, etc.?

Podcast Trailer Jul 23, 2018

Show notes

Welcome to the Adoption Connection Podcast Here we are! The Adoption Connection podcast, by and for adoptive moms has launched! We are unbelievably excited. Do you ever feel your life is so different nobody will understand? Or do you feel judged by people who see you parenting in a less-than-conventional way? Do you wonder if you're cut out for this life as a foster or adoptive mom? We totally understand this (and all the other craziness) and we're here for you. Each week we'll have a new episode with helpful information and guests speaking on topics just for foster and adoptive moms. Of course, all moms are welcome, but we create each episode with you in mind. Most weeks we'll also feature a reader question, and we'll always have show notes (like this) with relevant resources and links. We can't wait to see you Tuesday, August 7th, for our first full episode. Resources Download our free Summer Survival Guide! Check out our resource website, The Adoption Connection. Join us on Instagram and Facebook as The Adoption Connection.

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