Adoption Wise

Latest Episodes:

#39: [Mentor Moment] Should I change my adopted child’s name? May 21, 2019

Show notes

Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: Should I change my adopted child's name? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group. Click here to join. Do you have a question you'd like us to answer on a future episode? Call our listener hotline, 24 hours a day, at (208) 741-3880 to record your question.

#38: Fostering and Adopting Teens with Kristin Berry May 14, 2019

Show notes

If you're considering fostering or adopting older kids or teens, this episode with Kristin Berry is for you. We talk about what it's like to foster teens in your 20's and early 30's when the age gap is small, and you've never parented teens before. We discuss the lessons we've learned from adding older kids to the family - including respecting where they've come from and the lifelong process of attachment. Kristin also shares the sweetest part of having older kids while you're still young - hint, it has to do with grandbabies. Relevant Resources and Links: Connect with Kristin on Facebook Connect with Kristin on Instagram Born Broken: An Adoptive Journey by Kristin Berry (this is an affiliate link) Honestly Adoption by Mike & Kristin Berry (this is an affiliate link)

#37: Are video games actually bad for kids? May 07, 2019

Show notes

Video games - do you love them or hate them? Do you worry about the influence of gaming on your kids? In this episode, Melissa and her husband, Patrick, discuss video games and their approach to managing gaming in their family. You may be surprised at some of their thoughts. Can video games teach kids how to solve problems, work as a team, and even help us connect as families? Relevant Resources and Links: Reality Is Broken: Why Games Make Us Better and How They Can Change the World by Jane McGonigal Jane's TedTalk: Gaming Can Make a Better World SuperBetter App (for gamifying your life) Head's Up App (iTunes | Google Play) Games That Work For Other Families Episode 27: Tips for Getting Chores Done Ask Patrick a question in The Adoption Connection FB Group Patrick's Game Recommendations: (This list contains affiliate links.) Console Games Portal (all of them) The Turing Test Death Squared Peggle Human: Fall Flat The Witness (for those who want an extra challenge!) Games With Killing Tomb Raider (all of them) Assassin's Creed (all of them) All LEGO games (These have non-gory killing. The LEGO men just break into pieces.) Mobile Apps Angry Birds Happy Glass 2048 Flow Free Mentor Moments: This week Lisa and Melissa answer the question: "How can I connect to the heart of my son who is still HYPER focused on his biological mom. She is his mom. I know this. I do not want to replace her. I’m just not sure how to reach him?"

#36: A Mother’s Day Guide for Adoptive and Foster Moms Apr 30, 2019

Show notes

We asked the members of our private Facebook group, "What are your best Mother's Day survival tips?" We took what they shared and added from our own experiences to create this episode. Here are our tips for navigating this tricky holiday: Keep your expectations low and communicate clearly. Focus on someone else. Establish simple traditions. Honor birth moms (and other moms). Celebrate yourself! Relevant Resources and Links: Episode 29: Celebrate Your Child’s Birthday and Live to Tell About It Join our private Facebook group

#35: Preparing for a Successful Summer Apr 23, 2019

Show notes

Summer is coming, and we’re supposed to have fun. Right? It’s not always easy for families with kids from “hard places.” Kids from “hard places” are children who experienced early trauma such as abuse, neglect, medical intervention, prenatal exposure to substances, or even changes in primary caregiver. While our children may look forward to breaks from school and enjoy their days free of the constant demands, they often find this lack of structure very difficult, and their anxiety rises. As anxiety increases, so does volatility and before we know it, we find ourselves in a chaotic mess. Stress is high when our kids struggle and the entire family is impacted. A little planning goes a long way. We know because we’ve both made the mistake of not being proactive enough. You can learn from our mistakes! Relevant Resources and Links: Sound Machine (affiliate link) Episode 34: 10 Habits for Less Anxiety and Better Sleep with Tania Milliken Episode 31: 7 Ways for Parents to Relieve a Stressed-Out Brain

#34: 10 Habits for Less Anxiety and Better Sleep with Tania Milliken Apr 16, 2019

Show notes

If you have trouble sleeping or tend to feel anxious and worn down, don't miss this interview with Tania Milliken. She shares ten daily habits to help our families thrive. Some of them may surprise you! Links Relevant to this episode: Connect with Tania at her website Join Tania's Facebook group - Access Ease Connect with Tania on Instagram @tania.milliken Episode 25: Regulating Through Movement and Play with Robyn Gobbel Stop, Breathe & Think (app for mindful breathing) Yoga with Adriene Down Dog (yoga app) Mentor Moments: This week Lisa and Melissa answer the question: "I'm looking for ways of helping my child deal with homework. My philosophy tends toward, 'She's young and I don’t want homework to become a constant battle,' but there’s also that part of me that worries about what happens if she doesn’t get it done, I feel like she’s 'getting away' with not doing homework if we don’t push it, and then it’ll be a problem in future grade levels. I just don’t think it’s worth the meltdowns at this stage in the game."

#33: Grieving the unexpected losses in adoption Apr 09, 2019

Show notes

Have you experienced a lot of change in your life since entering the world of foster care and/or adoption? There is beauty in this journey, but parents are often surprised by the sense of loss. The changes may be so great that the life you once lived seems to have disappeared. In this episode, we talk honestly about grief surrounding foster care and adoption through the lens of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's Five Stages of Grief, plus an additional sixth stage. Links Relevant to this episode: 5 Stage of Grief Episode 20: The Bitter and Sweet of Foster Care Reunification with Jamie Finn Episode 31: 7 Ways for Parents to Relieve a Stressed-Out Brain How to join 30 Days of Hope in April Order Faith, Hope, & Connection: A 30-Day Devotional for Adoptive and Foster Parents. Join The Adoption Connection Facebook Group. This post includes affiliate links.

#32: Parenting Perks We Didn’t Know We Needed with Sharon Hujik Apr 02, 2019

Show notes

Are you trying to figure out how to juggle parenting your children while also pursuing your dreams? Do you even know what your passions are anymore? In this episode, Lisa sits down with her friend, Sharon Hujik, to talk about balancing being a mom of kids from "hard places" and a business coach. We discuss the importance of doing something that gives you joy in the midst of intense therapeutic parenting. Links Relevant to this episode: Connect with Sharon at her website Connect with Sharon on Facebook Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown Faith, Hope, & Connection: A 30-Day Devotional for Adoptive and Foster Parents The Adoption Connection Facebook group Mentor Moments: This week Lisa and Melissa answer the question: "We adopted internationally from a country that doesn't keep great birth records. There may be a discrepancy in age. Is there a benefit to changing our child's age?"

#31: 7 Ways for Parents to Relieve a Stressed-Out Brain Mar 26, 2019

Show notes

Do you ever feel stressed-out and unable to think clearly as a parent? Do you find yourself losing your desire to connect with your kids and even manage their behaviors? We get it because we've both parented with stressed-out brains, and it's a hard place to be. In this episode, we talk about seven ways to give our brains what they need in order to reduce stress. Our conversation is centered around the Healthy Mind Platter by Dan Siegel and David Rock which outlines seven mental activities for optimizing our brains and well-being: Focus Time Play Time Connecting Time Physical Time Time In Down Time Sleep Time Links Relevant to this episode: Healthy Mind Platter by Dan Siegel and David Rock The Whole Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Dan Siegel and Tina Bryson No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Dan Siegel and Tina Bryson The Stress-Proof Brain: Mastering Your Emotional Response to Stress Using Mindfulness and Neuroplasticity by Melanie Greenberg PhD Episode #25: Regulating Through Movement and Play with Robyn Gobbel Episode #10: Why won’t my kids just go play?!?! Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor Mindful Breathing App (look for the breathing timer) How to join 30 Days of Hope in April Order Faith, Hope, & Connection: A 30-Day Devotional for Adoptive and Foster Parents. Join The Adoption Connection Facebook Group. This post includes affiliate links.

#30: How Horses Can Help Kids Heal Mar 19, 2019

Show notes

Imagine a foster or adopted child relating to a horse in a way that actually helps heal his brain. Learn how equine therapy helps children's brains heal from trauma in this fascinating interview with Reccia Jobe about a trauma-focused equine-assisted psychotherapy, Natural Lifemanship. Links Relevant to this episode: Pecan Creek Ranch on Facebook Pecan Creek Ranch on Instagram Natural Lifemanship Website Mentor Moments: This week Lisa and Melissa answer the question: "What if a child might say something that would get us investigated?"

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