Absolutely Not

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It Doesn't Take a Village Sep 27, 2023

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is reporting live from Canal Street after yet another wild leg of the tour. There must have been something in the water because the weekend had everything including a 12-year-old popping up at a show, strip teases, and an episode of cops (but in real life), and that's only the beginning. Judging by the Absolutely Not-Line it looks like everyone else's weekend was just as unhinged.

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Shakin' T*ts for Cash on Netflix Sep 20, 2023

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is finally able to make a HUGE announcement: she’s coming to Netflix baby! That’s right, her new comedy special, The Son I Never Had, is coming to a couch near you on October 17th. In the midst of the celebration she’s still taking time to hit the Absolutely Not Line to show some much-needed love to the theaters teachers, draw the hard line between making new friends and borderline stalking, and whether or not you should shoot your shot at a new sky boo.

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This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhep.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way of being your best self.

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Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

"F*ck Season" with Jared Freid Sep 13, 2023

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back with friend of the pod, Jared Freid. They talk about his hilarious new Netflix special, 37 and Single, and Jared gives some sage dating advice on the proper way to hook your friends up, the best time of day to go out and find the right guy and more to get you prepped for the season.

Episode Sponsors:

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Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY

The Fits Everybody collection and more perfect-fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75.

Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely

Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hot Takes with Heather Sep 06, 2023

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's jumps into the Instagram DMs to answer your burning questions, and talk through a dab of trauma. She also hits the hotline to prove once again that she may not always have the answers, but she'll always figure it out.

Episode Sponsors:

Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.

For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.

Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Deolola on instagram to learn more.

Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee off your next order.

Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely, plus, you get FREE shipping.

Treat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/absolutely

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

JACQUELINE & The Wiener Circle Aug 30, 2023

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is home from her Tour-de-America. Her feet may be swollen, but she's got a real pep in her step after being dressed down by a large woman selling Wiener's in Chicago. She hits the hotline to answer questions like "what to do if you find out your mother-in-law has an alter ego in the bedroom?" and how to fall out of love with your Catholic priest.

Episode Sponsors:

If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY

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Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee off your next order.

Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely

Right now, modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely

Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutely

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Viva Las Vegas Aug 23, 2023

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off of surviving the usual Vegas madness during her stop at Wynn, and back in the LA studio to do the work right after surviving Hurricane Hilary. She may or may not be spiraling, but that doesn't stop her from hitting the Absolutely-Not-Line to discuss how let your setbacks be the setup for a comeback, why it just might be time to get a job at SpaceX, and the art of restaurant gaslighting.

Episode Sponsors:

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Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely

Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off (up to $10 value) when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDash.

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Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Imma Go Eat Aug 16, 2023

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather shares a personal idea she's been tinkering with for a minute, that will set your ovaries on fire. She hits the Absolutely-Not-Line to discuss How to treat your elders, the ultimate fighting technique and why dudes everywhere are communicating via android and walking around naked in their homes. But in the meantime... "Imma go Eat!"

Episode Sponsors:

Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely. Plus, you get FREE shipping!

If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY

Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee* off your next order.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.

As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lume Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.com

Treat yourself to the best shape wear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSO

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sky High with The Points Guy, Brian Kelly Aug 09, 2023

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her dear friend, Brian Kelly AKA The Points Guy, to talk everything from the surrogate journey and being a dad, to the truth about being a boss, and how to finesse those sky miles and credit card points.

Episode Sponsors:

Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you to Nutrafol.com and use the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.

Right now, Ibotta is offering our my listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely.

Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off up to $10 value, when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDash

Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY

The Fits Everybody collection and more perfect-fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select my show in the dropdown menu that follows.

Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Delola on instagram to learn more! Please enjoy responsibly.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Suffer in Silence Aug 02, 2023

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather discusses how the Aliens have arrived, why summer reading was absolute bullshit, why women tennis players need more money and really rounds it out answering your Voicemails about life. We have a caller let us know her husband asks for sex at the most inopportune times, but don't worry, we will beat him at his own game, literally!

Episode Sponsors:

Right now, Ibotta is offering my listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register.

Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely

Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase when you go to BeisTravel.com/absolutely

Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Delola on instagram to learn more.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Full Circle & Full Sweat in Firenze Jul 26, 2023

Show notes

On this episode the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is back from her whirlwind week abroad after stalking down Harry Styles in italy. She sweat it out in the bathrooms at the Firenze Outlets, ate her weight in salami and handed out band aids to the youth at the music festival. SHE'S BACK BABY!!!!

Episode Sponsors:

If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/absolutely

Switch to the better razor and show your skin you care with Athena Club! Get started today by shopping in-store at Target stores nationwide - just head to the shaving aisle to find the Razor Kit, Cloud Shave Foam, Wax Strips, and Razor Refills.

Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off up to $10 value, when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDash.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/absolutely and get on your way to being your best self.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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