Show notes
This week on A Lifetime of Hallmark, Les, Kurt, and Jason dive into Mommy’s Little Princess, a Lifetime thriller about an adopted girl who discovers she’s distantly related to Bavarian royalty and immediately turns into a tiny blonde supervillain with access to Swifty Search, poison ivy, and industrial amounts of penicillin.
The boys unpack one of the most unintentionally chaotic Lifetime movies in recent memory, featuring a suspiciously attractive struggling artist, a community arts camp built directly next to a death cliff, an ancestry test that somehow creates a full-blown royal delusion, and a child whose emotional support activity is committing increasingly elaborate felonies.
Along the way: Wendy Williams updates, Philadelphia sports jail lore, the MOVE bombing, Lea Michele adjacency, vinegar-based sabotage, theater camp politics, and Greg somehow becoming the internet’s newest unemployed hot dad icon.
Also discussed:
- Why every adult in this movie needed supervision
- Why this child should never have been given WiFiz
- Why Lifetime characters always leave dangerous pharmaceuticals fully accessible
- Whether Cinderella camp was worth multiple attempted murders
- The growing evidence that Greg may simply be living in Juliana’s house making soup and vibes
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