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    Society & Culture

    You’re Welcome w/ Zoe Nightingale

    You’re Welcome is a satirical improv comedy show whose goal is to find and share peoples stories, from all over the world.

    Each episode is unique and can range from 5 minutes to an hour, and will feature a brand new topic usually with someone Zoe has just met. This podcast is not for the faint of heart, buckle up.

    ABOUT YOU’RE WELCOME

    Like most brilliant ideas, this show was started over a molotov concoction of alcohol and various illicit substances. Zoe had given up on her life long dream, of being the female Howard Stern years ago but finally set out armed with a folding table, a couple lawn chairs, and a foam board sign that read “Free Sex Advice.” One by one strangers stopped what they were doing and sat down to talk to them about their lives.

    We’d like to take this moment to thank you for coming to our site and leave you with the eternal words of Oscar Wilde:

    “I was under the impression that inordinate joviality can atone for an entire lack of class”

    This show is done for one reason only, to bring laughter and remind you that we are all the same.

    Advertise

    Copyright: © All rights reserved

    • Apple Podcasts
    • Google Play
    • Spotify

    Latest Episodes:
    ORAL FIXATION TV Apr 29, 2021
    Show notes

    Hey guys! After many many years in the podcasting game, 3 failed TV show pilots, one cancelled Audible Original series and 275 podcast episodes I am finally making my OWN DIY TV Series called ORAL FIXATION!

    I'm in South Beach Miami shooting it, and let me tell you, it's some of the weirdest, wildest work I've ever done. This place is like instagram in 5D, sims city matrix pretend world and I've been out in the streets capturing all of it's literal insanity every day and I need YOUR help to fund it!

    So go to patreon.com/oralfixation and you'll have access for 5 dollars a month or more to all my upcoming new content!! @oralfixation.tv on Instagram and Tik Tok, i'll be posting short teasers there for all the full content that will be available on Patreon! Help me, help my mother, by keeping my cervix off the internet, I've embarrassed her enough already.


    Lets Go Smoke Psychedelic Toad! Jan 08, 2021
    Show notes

    Have you heard of psychedelic toad? NO? Where the deviled egg have you been? Comparable to the likes of ayahuasca, psilocybin mushrooms, and mescaline, this natural medicine comes from a rare species of toad native to the Sonoran Desert, Bufo Alvarius. They produce a venom known as 5-MeO-DMT: an extremely potent natural psychedelic. 5-MeO-DMT is about six times more powerful than its better-known cousin DMT (dimethyltryptamine).

    The 5 MeO is extracted by catching these slow fat giant toads and squeezing them like a stress ball until the toad's toxic venom glands burst like high school pimple and then dehydrating the pus into a crumbly dry paste. You then smoke this in what would usually be referred to as a crack pipe with what looks like a mini blow torch and are then blasted off to the candy store of the universe.

    Shamans throughout Mexico and the southwestern US have been harvesting and smoking the substance for decades, but has recently become as popular as Tickle Me Elmo in December of 1996.

    Individuals that have taken the toad venom described their trips as being one with the universe and feeling "reborn," and a unique connection to god and collective consciousness.

    Users experience prismatic colors, euphoria, sacred geometry, and recursive patterns. After inhalation the medicine often leaves users as mobile as roadkill and as responsive to questions as a tween on their iphone.

    While I was in Oaxaca City, I found a woman who was administering Buffo ceremonies and decided to bring my two besties Dr. Zandra Palma and Jordan Lejuwaan to see just how far this rabbit hole goes.

    What followed was completely insane and this episode was recorded during the ceremony.

    These medicines should not be taken lightly, taking them requires users to go into it with the intention to heal. It's not a drug, it's a religious experience.

    So, without further ado, I present to you Zoe vs. Toad, round 1.


    RIP Party Monster Dec 25, 2020
    Show notes

    It makes sense to me that Michael Alig, the notorious Party Monster, King of the Club Kids has passed away on Christmas. When I woke up to this news a million different feelings washed over my body...but mostly it was deep sadness. Addiction is a thing that claims lives every second and something that has blackened many parts of my life. Goodbye MIchael. I will never forget you.

    This is a re-post of a live show I did with him in 2017.

    I met Michael shortly after he was released from Prison for his 1996 murder of Angel Melendez. For some background, this is the same man whose life that the 2003 movie Party Monster was based off of. He was a brilliant Pied Piper who was able to create a social movement that swept over the nation calling small town rejects and societal misfits to join he's legion of worshipers called the "Club Kids."

    Reviled by some, worshiped by others, he's like the trump of 90's. As someone who intimately knows the New York Party scene, let me tell you the kind of charisma and raw unique creative chutzpah this takes. It can only happen with a brilliant, ruthless visionary with a calculator brain. Every single person I know whose above 35 got their party flippers wet at Limelight, or Tunnel. HE wasn't a to start monster, he was a God, for years.

    Then he fell, like Icarus, into the abyss not be be seen or heard for 17 years. He was in solitary confinement for years, and managed to stay on heroin, due to the prison guards slipping him heroin into his sell with his food.

    So in 2017, I was able to host a live show at the Marcy North and interview him about his life, speak with his family and friends, and provide some light into what a world soaked in heroin and solitary confinement would be like.

    We spoke endlessly, about life, prison, addiction, redemption, his art, he's dreams and his nightmares.

    Michael is a rainbow of colors. He has a kind of brutal honesty through his humor that can be sharp and cutting, while being dull and blunt. He reminded me constantly of the Cheshire cat from Alice and Wonderland, both hands pointed in opposite directions whenever I would try to ask him about difficult subjects.

    We are all chasing a different white rabbit that is represented in our different addictions, whether helpful or harmful. We are all playing hide and seek with the ultimately elusive meta concept of "happiness." We are all constantly scraping up and crashing against each other, harming ourselves and others to varying degrees.

    The question becomes not if we will harm others it's merely when? Subsequently, how can you ever atone, when the repercussions of your mistakes leave lasting scars on the ones your love, your community, and the world. Furthermore what's really tricky is even if you're absolved judicially, how do you forgive yourself?

    I don't claim to answer any of these questions. All i can do is ask them, and when I make mistakes try to put one foot in front of the other, find news ways to live my life, as my mother always says, with gentle loving kindness.

    Throughout this journey I kept two quotes in mind:

    From My Neck So Free The Albatross fell off, and Sank Like Lead Into The Sea Dorthy: OZ we're you frightened?

    Oz: Frightened? Child you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe, I was petrified

    Thank you to Zev and Gadi for allowing me to do the live show at their beautiful Marcy North Hotel in Williamsburg.

    Thank you to David Herman, and Emily Brodtman who helped me weave this story together.

    Songs: Neil Diamond: Damage Done


    Is A Pearl Necklace - The Perfect Holiday Gift? Dec 22, 2020
    Show notes

    Happy Holidays everyone! I would be merry, but I am Hebrew... just kidding..! I long ago got over my anger about being a lonely Jewess on Christmas and have embraced a happier outlook on what always seemed to me to be the most superficial gift based pagan nonsense imaginable...so in that spirit....

    I have a holiday treat for you right in time to slide into your Christmas trees DM's. It's a compilation of my favorite, most uncomfortable moments that I recorded (mostly secretly) of my parents.

    My parents were both born in 1944, and grew up in very proper, Super Jew families. My mother to me always seemed like a person who got transported directly from a sock hop and never quite fit into modern times.

    She never said bad words, never talked about sex, never talked about anything remotely off color...and I was born...hmm how do I put this, a red eyed, spikey tailed devil creature...it's taken me a long time to become more like my mother and whats weird is the more I become like her, the more she seems to become like me! Apple vs. Tree...boy, mother daughter relationships are tricky!

    But my parents weren't as innocent as I imagined, and over the years the let slip that they too had a bit of a sordid past...good thing I was always recording them and was able to catch these moments and preserve them in little amber audio clips...hurray!

    So, I have literally 100's of hours of us teaching each other over the years..and yes, I will be making more of them because let's face it, they are the best of me, and they make me laugh so hard I can barely breathe.

    Wherever you are in the world, I know this is a very bad, no good, terrible time for families...and I send you the biggest hug and the advice my mother always gives me when I'm feeling blue... just put one foot in front of the other, take a deep breath, and continue to act with gentle loving kindness to the world around you.

    This too shall pass.

    I LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING - I am sorry I am/was so obnoxious, thank you for loving me despite me.

    Music - I'm a Lonely Jew on Christmas Instrumental - Matt Stone and Trey Parker

    Follow me!

    @drznightingale

    www.zoenightingale.com

    More photos and videos will be posted in my website of me and my family struggling to find reasons to like each other over the years!


    The Panty Dropping Pediatrician Dec 19, 2020
    Show notes

    Introducing, Usama Siddiquee! A gloriously raunchy, bright eyed and extremely bushy-tailed comedy superstar - who was born in Canada and raised in a part of Texas that probably could very well have inspired scenes from Deliverance, and raised a Muslim - so you can imagine he has a particular view point on what it takes to make it out alive of middle school and succeed it in this racial utopia we call the United States.

    I met him when he was doing stand up at a socially distant comedy show at Cooper Park in 30 degree weather, and I thought his particular brand of comedy and crowd control was so impressive I decided to invite him to my home and find out just exactly how far his rabbit hole goes down.

    AND DOWN WE WENT. Off like a herd of mentally challenged sea turtles trying to lay their eggs on particularly steep sand dune, we tackled many topics such as rubber gloved, direct eye contact handies in public, not having literally a pot to piss in/crashing in crack homes in the tuchus hole of Brooklyn to save money....barking like a rabid chihuahua for comedy shows, where the payment for your thankless work mirrors Spanish inquisition torture...making your father have slow fat tears run down his cheeks/having your mother throw pots at you, and all the bloody sweat and long nights that come with go after the world's most unforgiving profession.

    I adored him, and you will too! Enjoy!

    You can follow him at

    @Usamastandsup

    Check out all his youtube clips of his stint on AGT here:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMkiML-uFGU

    And listen to his podcast, Mango Bae here:

    https://open.spotify.com/show/57jiIA07ChxbtWz0sjwKi1

    As always you can follow me

    @drznightingale

    My website: www.zoenightingale.com

    Happy Holidays errrrybody!

    xoxxoxoxoxo

    Music: Noah Lampert - check out all his work at www.syncpod.net


    America, FUCK YEAH! Dec 11, 2020
    Show notes

    Greeting and salutations my fair weather friends, apologies for my absence, but I needed to take a break from my own brain and reorient my north star. However, I'm back! This is my first humble offering, coverage of the best day of all time, the day that Joe Biden officially won the presidency, and NYC erupted into actual flames of celebration.

    In my life, I have never seen this kind of joy. The moment he won, I swear to you, squeals, shrieks, honks, pots and pans clanging, laughter, screams, sirens all instantaneously rolled through NYC like a thunderous cloud blanketing every ear drum in jubliant glee.

    So, I bought 8 mid priced champagnes, put on a red white and blue outfit, painted stars in my face, put on my FUCK TRUMP NO LUBE camouflage trucker hat that I made in times square in 2016, powered up my recorders and hit the streets.

    I must have gone to every bourough in the city. I was completely wasted by 12 pm. Like first day of freshman year, keg stand, girls gone wild blatto blasted. So, please expect the timber of my voice to be, how do I put it nicely...like a phone sex operator who smokes newport 100's back to back while verberally jerking off married men from Kansas.

    I'm not proud of it, but I yam what I yam, and unfortunetly for you, this is not my best work. What's worse is that I did like 100 more interviews only to realize that my card had been full the whole time. Just sloppy journalism all around. BUT, this was just the most beautiful day.

    The dancing, the joy, the tears of relief made the air electric and the day finalized in a burning man like mega rave in McCarren park where we danced until the sun came up. It was magic baby.

    Anyway, the goal is not to go to brunch. The goal is to continue to fight for the world we want to live in and cleanse ourselves of the last four years, try to eek out a little dignity and restore our country to some semblance of the dream it is supposed to represent.

    Keep fighting, stay vigilant everyone. All eyes on our you Georgia, make us proud.

    PS: Shout out to my loves Sean and Cass from the Very Ape podcast who are featured on this episode. I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK. Check out all their awesome work at www.veryape.tv

    Follow me!

    @drznightingale = insta

    @genuinelyfalse = twitter

    www.zoenightingale.com = website

    Artwork by @danadrewdles

    Music:

    America, Team World Police - Matt Stone/Trey Parker

    Sync 84 - Noah Lampert - check out his amazing podcast at www.syncpod.com

    Check out my sponsor PROMESCENT www.promescent.com

    Put my name "Zoe15" into check out and get 15 percent off all your order!!


    I Didn't Get Arrested!! Love/Hope/Protest in NYC Nov 06, 2020
    Show notes

    Well, just my luck. Depressed and defeated, I took my microphones to Washington Square Park to see how my fellow New Yorkers were coping with the election results. It was a beautiful fall day and New York was A buzz with farmers markets, art, live jazz, poets and artists all converging to lend each other moral support.

    People were organizing for an "count all votes," rally that was incredibly peaceful. But in mere moments turned into a blood bath. No where is safe. I am so fucking sad.

    Even if Biden wins. HOW COULD IT HAVE BEEN THIS CLOSE. OOf. It hurts, it hurts so bad. The worst part is I somehow tricked myself that this time of quarantine was going to do something to the collective fabric to inspire compassion for your fellow countryman. I am so fucking bored of racism and intolerance. Aren't you? AREN'T WE ALL. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

    We'll, here we are. There's literally no where to go but up. Started from the bottom and now we're...where. All I can do is keep trying to spread love and laughter in my wake and continue to support light and love and good in this word and have faith that enough of us are out there fighting the good fight.

    This is life or death. This is biblical. This is fucking crazy. Don't lose hope. We just have to take a breather and start all over again. This doesn't end with a Biden win. The senate is still republican, the world is still full of bipartisan vitriol and meanwhile the world is literally burning.

    Sending everyone as much love as I have in my bleeding, crumpled heart.

    Check out:

    Oriel Ceballos - @or1el/Linktr.ee/Or1tel

    Check out the artwork: www.fightdontstarve.com

    and www.onefairwage.com

    An article from NYT about the protest violence:

    https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/04/nyregion/nyc-presidential-election-protests.html

    Music: Noah Lampert

    Check out his podcast at syncpodcast.com

    My instagram: @drznightingale

    My website: www.zoenightingale.com

    Check out my sponsor www.promescent.com use my name "Zoe15" to get 15 percent off your whole purchase on all kinds of products that can extend your timeline in the bedroom. Lubes, potions, clitoral stimulation gels, condoms they have everything you need!!


    OMG WTF IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING Oct 21, 2020
    Show notes

    OMGWTF - What the deviled egg is actually happening anymore? I've enlisted the help of a childhood classmate, Ben Sheehan, who is a rockstar political/constitutional expert to help me understand how things got so bad, how we can make them better and what each of us can do to fight for the America we want to live in.

    He's written a book, OMGWTF Does the Constitution Actually Say? This book is like a cheat sheet for this of us who need a refresher course in how our government works.

    While this isn't the sexiest episode, it's full of really helpful information about how we got here, and how we can make it better, one vote at a time.

    This is it guys. WINTER HAS COME. Everyone, everywhere has to be doing everything they can to get their friends, family, coworkers, dog walkers, whatever whoever wherever TO THE POLLS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. If he wins, well...honestly...I don't even want to go there. I believe in the collective good. I believe in light. VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE. Thank you.

    Thank you Ben!!

    Instagram: @thatbensheehen

    Get his book! www.politics-prose.com/book/9780762498482

    Find out all about your elected officials are here!

    www.ballotpedia.org

    My instagram: @Drznightingale

    My website: www.zoenightingale.com

    Music: Noah Lampert check out his podcast

    www.syncpodcast.com


    This is What I Get For Bringing My Mother to Burning Man Oct 15, 2020
    Show notes

    My mom decided to sell our home, and while it may not seem like a big deal to most, I FREAKED OUT.

    I knew it was bound to happen sometime. When covid hit, my mother was visiting Santa Fe, a place that had always made her heart feel full. The house, that we've spent 20 years in, was sitting, mostly empty, waiting for our triumphant return.

    My mom has been really careful about Covid, and I've only been able to see her twice in these last 6 months and this for me has been really super duper tough. I need my mother. I need her all the time. I need to hold her hand and wake up next to her and know that she's padding around the house at 6 am in her silk nightgown and Terry cloth robe, reading the paper and drinking decaf.

    This house of ours, was a new start. After my father was officially out of the picture, we had sold my childhood home and moved into this one together, to start a new chapter. This one was just one for the two of us, my siblings were long gone, and we turned this page together and I proceeded to make so many new fun memories and also sit with some really painful ones.

    This was our space, our place, and we navigated my teenager years and all the angst that comes with it there, together.

    I loved this house. I feel like the memories of it will grow softer with time but the feeling of always having a home never will.

    Thank you mom, for everything.

    Music:

    Noah Lampert - Check out all his work at www.syncronicity.com

    Talking Heads - Burning Down the House

    My website: www.zoenightingale.com

    My Instagram:@drznightingale

    As always thanks to my sponsor www.promescent.com

    Promescent is a sexual wellness company that helps couples have longer lasting, more enjoyable sex. Promescent offers safe and innovative solutions to the most common sexual problems that so many of us face.

    Their products include a clinically proven climax control spray for those looking to last longer in bed, a therapeutic supplement to help increase blood flow, erection strength and vitality, stimulating lubricants for vaginal dryness and enhanced pleasure, and premium quality contraceptives.

    Promescent products are manufactured in the US, shipped discreetly to your door for privacy, and are backed with a 60-day money-back guarantee. For a limited time you can receive 15% off your entire order using my special discount code Zoe15 at checkout.

    Head over to promescent.com and spice up your sex life today, you won't regret it.


    If They Told You, You Would Cry Sep 25, 2020
    Show notes

    Introducing Natalie Cooper. The founder and principal of Uncommon Schools in Camden NJ. Camden has long suffered from poverty, high incarceration rates, and lack of opportunity for its residents.

    However, it is a city of tremendous resilience, character and love, and it's a city working hard to improve the quality of life for its residents. There are many ways in which this city is rising, and one of them is with the help of the Uncommon School Camden Prep.

    Uncommon schools is a network of 55 charter schools across the east coast. Four of those schools, Camden Prep, are located in Camden, NJ. Camden Prep serves over 800 students in grades K-9, and will grow to serve grades K-12 by 2023. Even though 98% of the student population qualifies for free or reduced price lunch, Camden Prep has proven that circumstances do not determine destiny – in 2015, Camden Prep was ranked the highest performing public or Renaissance school in the city of Camden and has retained that title ever since. During these challenging times, Camden Prep is working to build partnerships to ensure our students achieve continued success on their path to and through college!

    Natalie is my family, my friend, and a warrior for Justice, and ally to all races and has worked tirelessly to try to help stop inequality at the very earliest stages.

    I called her back in April, to see how she and her school was handling Corona Virus and what I heard filled me with pride for her and absolute devastation for the reality of what these kids, and her school were up against.

    This is the help that helps. This is the work that changes lives. These are the people that should be making a billion dollars for the work they do, but still struggle to survive financially. Teachers should be the most celebrated profession of all, and they need our support, love and ears.

    To learn more about uncommon schools check out:

    https://uncommonschools.org/about-us/

    To learn more about Natalie's School:

    Link: https://camdenprep.uncommonschools.org/

    TO DONATE!!!

    Donations: https://camdenprep.uncommonschools.org/donate/

    Contact: Natalie Cooper; Ncooper@camden-prep.org

    REGISTER TO VOTE !!!

    www.voteproud.org

    Check out my website:

    www.zoenightingale.com

    Thank you to my sponsor Promescent, the world's leader in all things sexy time. Check out there website www.promescent.com and use discount code "Zoe 15" at check out to get 15 percent off your order!!

    Music by Noah Lampert check him out at www.synchonicity.org

    RATE MY PODCAST!!!!! Apple/Spotify/Soundcloud whatever, just throw some stars in my face. Every review helps. Thank you!


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