Young Black Married Christian

Latest Episodes:

Why Your Spouse May HATE Your Apology Feb 03, 2026

Show notes

https://www.themarriagesecrets.com/
In this episode, you will learn the 3-step "apology system" that does more than just stop the fighting—it actually "disarms" your spouse and turns your biggest arguments into "bouquets of roses." If you’ve ever felt like your apologies don't get very far, you cannot afford to miss the advice at 7:25 regarding the one thing that matters more than words.…
0:00 – Introduction

Welcome to the Young Black Married Christian podcast with Lashaud and Doriana James.

1:42 – Biblical Foundation for Reconciliation

A look at Matthew 5:23 and why God prioritizes reconciliation over religious offerings.

2:44 – Tip 1: The Speed of Your Apology

Why apologizing slowly is often rooted in pride and how "dead space" fuels arguments.

4:03 – Tip 2: Explaining the Impact

The power of articulating your spouse’s feelings to disarm conflict.

5:04 – Real-Life Example: Sleep Deprivation and Irritability

Lashaud and Doriana share a personal story about a recent disagreement and how they navigated it.

7:25 – Tip 3: The Plan for Changed Behavior

Why the best apology is a strategy for change, referencing Ephesians 4:28.

9:05 – Public vs. Private Apologies

Why an apology should be as public as the offense.

10:55 – Thorns vs. Roses

How to shift your perspective to see growth after a disagreement.

12:00 – The Phenomenal Family Inner Circle

Details on how to access the Marriage MBA, budgeting courses, and more.

16:20 – Final Encouragement and Closing

A prophetic word of encouragement for your day and marriage.

Key Takeaways

Don't Let the Sun Go Down: Speed is essential to prevent pride from taking root.
Validate Their Pain: When you explain how you affected your spouse, they no longer have to fight to make you understand.
Actions Speak Louder: A plan for different behavior in the future is what makes an apology trustworthy.

Never Forget.... The people who want the best in their marriage... Invest in their marriage.

How to Parent Without Losing Your Cool Apr 26, 2025

Show notes

02:41 – The Challenge of Parenting Without a Playbook
03:39 – Guiding Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4–7
04:38 – How the Love Test Became Their Family’s Only Rule
05:37 – Teaching Kids to Filter Behavior Through Love
07:05 – Integrating Faith and Parenting with Simplicity
08:05 – The Love Test as a Filter for Parenting Books and Advice
09:03 – Discipleship Through Daily Love and Behavior
10:59 – Teaching Love from the Inside Out (Not Just Compliance)
12:25 – Parenting With Virtue Over Rules
13:23 – Reflection: Are You Parenting From a Framework or Just Rules?
13:51 – Action Step: Propose “Love as the One Rule” to Your Spouse
14:46 – Extending Love Beyond Parenting: Leadership and Integrity
15:46 – Love-Centered Leadership Shifts Priorities From Profit to People
19:02 – Companies Built on Love Outperform the S&P 500 by 1400%
20:27 – Don’t Use Business-Only Tools for Parenting
21:54 – Using Love as the Core Framework Across All Life Arenas
23:17 – The Power of Consistency: Being the Same at Work and Home
24:44 – C.S. Lewis and the Idea That the Mask Is Your True Self
26:10 – Love in Apology: How to Repair Mistakes as a Parent
27:35 – Redo Moments: Letting Kids Practice the Right Behavior
28:32 – Recap: Love, Leadership, and Living with Integrity
29:58 – Ask Your Questions via SpeakPipe or Access More Resources
30:59 – Final Word: “Connect Before You Correct”
🤔 Submit Your Question:🎤 Leave a voice question via SpeakPipe
📚Get All Our Resources:🎁 Join the Phenomenal Family Inner Circle Bundle – Lifetime Access, One Flat Price

How to Talk About Money Without Shutting Down or Blowing Up Apr 15, 2025

Show notes

01:49 – What Jesus and Proverbs Teach Us About Money
02:47 – The S.A.F.E. Framework for Budgeting
03:48 – How to Steward Your Money to Honor God
05:42 – How to Get on the Same Page with Your Spouse
10:35 – How to Focus on One Budgeting Goal
14:48 – How to Bring Enthusiasm to Your Budget Meetings
16:42 – Final Recap: Stewardship, Agreement, Focus, Enthusiasm
17:11 – Action Step: What’s Your Small Step Today?
🤔 Submit Your Question:🎤 Leave a voice question via SpeakPipe
📚Get All Our Resources:🎁 Join the Phenomenal Family Inner Circle Bundle – Lifetime Access, One Flat Price

How to Reflect God's Forgiveness in Relationships Dec 21, 2023

Show notes

LaShaude and Dorianna James explore how the gospel strengthens marriages by fostering heaven on earth, emphasizing forgiveness and rejecting perfection. They advocate for modeling relationships after Jesus' love, promoting forgiveness and deeper spiritual connections.
04:16 - Understanding the Gospel's Impact: Experiencing Heaven on Earth
06:35 - The Power of Gospel Understanding: Creating Paradise in Marriage
08:57 - Reflecting God's Love: How Forgiveness Transforms Relationships
11:37 - Role of Forgiveness: Overcoming Resentment in Marriage
14:49 - Gospel's Solution: Addressing Selfishness, Fear, and Laziness
18:00 - The Gospel as a Role Model: Influencing Marital Dynamics
21:41 - Conclusion & Engagement: Resources for Enhanced Marital Bonds
🤔 Submit Your Question: https://www.speakpipe.com/JamesFamily
Free Training: https://www.themarriagesecrets.com/family
Let Us Coach Your Relationship Today: https://www.themarriagesecrets.com/coaching

Breaking the Chains of Laziness: Igniting Action in Your Marriage Dec 14, 2023

Show notes

From Fig Leaves to Fully Known: Overcoming Barriers to Intimacy in Marriage Dec 07, 2023

Show notes

🤔 Submit Your Question: https://www.speakpipe.com/JamesFamily
Free Training: https://www.themarriagesecrets.com/family
Personalized Coaching For Your Relationship from the James Family: https://www.themarriagesecrets.com/coaching
This episode delves into the profound essence of intimacy, guiding listeners through the transformative power of vulnerability in relationships. It offers insights on shedding masks and embracing authenticity, fostering stronger connections. The discussions touch on the importance of genuine community, encouraging listeners to create safe spaces for emotional expression and growth. It navigates the complexities of intimacy, spanning beyond physicality to encompass emotional, financial, and spiritual aspects. With tangible examples and relatable anecdotes, it equips individuals with tools to cultivate openness, trust, and grace in their relationships. Ultimately, this episode serves as a roadmap for fostering deeper connections and experiencing the richness of genuine intimacy in all facets of life.
Below are some detailed timestamps. Feel free to HOP in wherever! <3
00:00 - Introduction, Setting the Stage
00:26 - Encouragement to Download, Introduction of Hosts
00:54 - Reflection on Podcast Evolution and Material Sharing
01:24 - Reflecting on the Last Episode's Depth
01:50 - Banter on Parenting and Topic Introduction: Fear of Intimacy
02:19 - Exploring Fear of Intimacy in Relationships
03:18 - Concealing True Selves, Withholding in Relationships
04:13 - Importance of Being Fully Known for Full Love
05:11 - Gospel's Role in Allowing Openness in Relationships
06:08 - Encouraging Intimacy with God's People and Spouse
07:03 - Experience of Love Within Community and Marriage
07:31 - Impact of Vulnerability in Strengthening Relationships
07:56 - Battling Enemy's Lies through Openness and Community
08:54 - Strengthening Against Enemy's Attacks Through Support
09:50 - Importance of Genuine Christian Community
10:19 - Experiencing God's Grace Through Community
10:47 - Actively Participating in a Godly Community
11:16 - Fighting for Authenticity in Relationships
11:44 - Shedding Secrecy to Embrace Vulnerability
12:11 - Overcoming Past Family Dynamics for Intimacy
12:39 - Consistently Pushing for Emotional Openness
13:03 - Creating Safe Spaces for Vulnerability
13:27 - Cultivating a Safe Place for Emotional Expression
13:56 - Integrity and Wholeness Through Openness
14:26 - Addressing the Tiring Facade of Secrecy
14:44 - Biblical Perspective on Wholeness and Intimacy
15:11 - Analogies of Wearing Fig Leaves in Relationships
15:35 - Encouragement to Drop the Mask, Embrace Fullness
16:03 - Establishing a Groundwork for Intimacy
16:33 - Ensuring Forgiveness and Grace in Relationships
17:00 - Initiating Tough Conversations for Intimacy
17:30 - Encouraging Full Disclosure and Support
17:59 - Cultivating an Environment of Forgiveness
18:23 - Embracing Imperfections and Growth Together
18:51 - Transition to Defining Intimacy
19:19 - Into-Me-See: Defining True Intimacy
19:41 - Intimacy Beyond Physical Connection
20:08 - Sharing Vulnerabilities, Insecurities, and Stories
20:35 - Intimacy in Financial and Emotional Sharing
21:05 - Aim for Progress, Not Perfection
21:34 - Building a Relationship Rooted in Trust
22:02 - Encouraging Openness in Marriage
22:26 - Preparation for Uncomfortable Conversations
22:55 - Embracing Fullness in Relationships
23:22 - Dive into Intimacy's Core Meaning
23:51 - Beyond Transactional Relationships
24:20 - Fighting for Emotional Transparency
24:49 - Acknowledging Challenges in Vulnerability
25:19 - Various Forms of Intimacy to Explore
25:49 - Conclusion & Encouragement for Intimacy

How To Improve Your Communication and Intimacy Without Feeling Lost For Words : Revisited Dec 05, 2023

Show notes

🤔 Submit Your Question: https://www.speakpipe.com/JamesFamily
Free Training: https://www.themarriagesecrets.com/family
Personalized Coaching For Your Relationship from the James Family: https://www.themarriagesecrets.com/coaching
[02:17] Some Scripture
[02:58] Don't Be A Fool
[03:55] Report vs Rapport
[04:20] Destination vs Journey
[05:19] What Happened To Them & In Them
[08:27] The Train VS The Rollercoaster
[10:00] Questions For Reflection & Action Steps For Application
[11:00] Our Best Conversations Have This
[12:20] Intimacy In Conversations
[13:05] I'm Too Tired To Talk At Night
[13:55] Be A Man (or Woman) Of The Second Shift
[14:55] Do You Give Your Best To Everyone But Your Spouse?
[18:30] Dorianna Makes It Wierd

Overcoming Selfishness: A Guide to Spiritual Unity in Marriage Nov 30, 2023

Show notes

Discover the beauty of marriage through the lens of faith! In this episode, we'll explore how shared beliefs and prioritizing each other are strengthened by faith. Uncover invaluable tips on building a resilient, loving bond, navigating challenges, and experiencing the profound impact of including God in your marriage.
05:09 - How to Understand the Impact of Selfishness on Oneness
07:58 - How to Prioritize Your Spouse's Spiritual Growth
10:20 - How to Trust God's Work in Your Spouse's Life
12:04 - How to Develop Spiritual Rhythms Together
16:22 - Conclusion: How to Focus on Overcoming Selfishness & Personal Growth
🤔 Submit Your Question: https://www.speakpipe.com/JamesFamily
14 DAY Free Online Training: https://www.themarriagesecrets.com/family

How To Hold My Cheating Spouse Accountable Oct 07, 2022

Show notes

What does forgiveness, grace, & ACCOUNTABILITY look like when your spouse cheats?
🤔 Submit Your Question: https://www.speakpipe.com/JamesFamily
14 DAY Free Online Training: https://www.themarriagesecrets.com/family

Singleness, Celibacy and Sexual Purity (FOR MARRIEDS TOO) Sep 24, 2022

Show notes

In this episode you'll learn:
How EVERYONE needs boundaries with people of the opposite sex.
The goal is not celibacy or just not cheating. The real goal is...
How community keeps your relationships safe.
...and so much more!
🤔 Submit Your Question: https://www.speakpipe.com/JamesFamily
One-on-One Coaching: https://calendly.com/ybmc/coach
14 DAY Free Online Training: https://www.themarriagesecrets.com/family

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