You Are Heroic with Brian Johnson

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+1 #70: 5-Minute Sweaty Conversations Nov 19, 2017

Show notes

You know those times when you need to initiate a tough conversation and you're kinda sorta dreading it and avoiding it? One of my old mentors once told me that you just need to move through what he called "sweaty five-minute conversations" to get to the other side of clarity and resolution. Most of us avoid the challenging conversations because we aren't willing to endure those few minutes of discomfort. I definitely used to avoid them. Now, I remember that Speed Is a Force then I WOOP it, chant "Bring it on!" + "I'm excited!" and jump in. It's become a really powerful practice for me as I've mastered it over the years. But here's the funny thing. Once upon a time, I needed to have one of those "sweaty conversations" with that mentor of mine. Guess how it turned out? It was, by far, LITERALLY, the worst conversation I've ever had in my life. HAH. Seriously. I kid you not. As Campbell said, when you dare to go after bliss, there's always the chance for a fiasco. :) Here's how Campbell puts it: "The hero journey is one of the universal patterns through which that radiance shows brightly. What I think is that a good life is one hero journey after another. Over and over again, you are called to the realm of adventure, you are called to new horizons. Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There's always the possibility of a fiasco. But there's also the possibility of bliss." So, today's mission, should you choose to accept it: The next time you find yourself avoiding a challenging conversation, see if you can recognize the fear and then get to work on it with one (or more) of our growing array of tools. Perhaps you can remember that your infinite potential exists on the other side of that fear and chant "Bring it on!!" to yourself. Maybe you can practice Active Love on the person who's currently stressing you out. I'd definitely recommend you WOOP it! Wave the wand. Create your Wish. See it going perfectly. Experience the benefits. Then anticipate the obstacles and make your plan to deal with them. Then, if you feel that now's the time, jump in and move through those few seconds/minutes of sweaty palms and make it happen. You'll win or you'll learn. :) P.S. I know for a fact that if I had that challenging conversation of a decade ago today it would have ended so much better. But I never would have gotten to where I am without the pain of that fiasco. And so it is. 😃

+1 #65: Sacrifices vs. Decisions Nov 17, 2017

Show notes

George St-Pierre is one of the greatest mixed martial artists in the world. Ever. Of course, he wasn't always one of the greatest. At one point, he was just a young guy working as a garbage man who DECIDED he was going to be the best in the world. People around him thought he was crazy. (Of course they did. Who says stuff like that? Hint: People who have a shot at making it happen.) So, when GSP decided (!) he would be the best in the world at what he wanted to do, he also decided what he WASN'T going to do. "Train instead of party. Work instead of play. Perfect practice instead of casual repetition." ALL of his energy went into achieving his goal and making his dream a reality. (You should see the consistency in his schedule. Astonishing.) In his great book The Way of the Fight, GSP makes the important distinction that all those things he was no longer going to do weren't sacrifices. They were decisions. Sacrifices vs. Decisions. There's a huge difference between the two. One comes with a little whiney voice. The other comes with the calm confidence and grounded, authentic power of a committed person. Today's +1 practical application: Who have you DECIDED to be? What decisions do you need to make to focus your energy? P.S. Remember: The Latin root of the word decide literally means "to cut off." When we make a true decision, we CUT OFF all other options and go ALL IN. Let's do that.

PNTV: Coming Alive by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels (#343) Nov 17, 2017

Show notes

I'm a HUGE fan of Phil and Barry's first book, The Tools. Coming Alive is kinda like The Tools Part 2. In this book, we get four new tools to go along with the original five tools. Big Ideas we explore include how to connect to our Life Force, defeat Part X (their name for that part of each of us that gets in the way), build our confidence and learn to see problems as gifts as we live a GREAT life.

+1 #60: Never Waste a Mis-take Nov 15, 2017

Show notes

Have you ever made a mistake? (Hah.) Right. (I've made a mistake or 3 million as well.) Here's the deal: When we approach it with the right mindset (that would be a growth, experimental mindset), we come to realize that those mistakes are P R E C I O U S. The data we get on what DOESN'T WORK is priceless. Therefore, never (!) beat yourself up about a mis-take. Simply remind yourself that we either win or we learn and that no movie was ever shot from start to finish without a ton of re-takes. Then say to yourself "Needs work!" as you rewind your game film, see yourself executing the oopsed scene perfectly and then get back at it. Repeat. Forever. So… Practical Reflection Time: What was your last mistake? What did you learn? Run it through our little Mis-take process above and +1 it.

+1 #55: The Law of Diminishing Intent Nov 14, 2017

Show notes

In our last +1, we talked about the fact that Speed Is a Force. Jim Rohn said the same thing a little differently. He told us about the "Law of Diminishing Intent." The basic idea: The likelihood of doing something diminishes the further away you get from the initial moment of inspiration. So true. And your confidence erodes as well. Not a winning combination. Jim Rohn's protégé, Tony Robbins, echoes this wisdom as well. He tells us that we must never leave the moment of inspiration without taking action. Then we need to follow that up with sustained, MASSIVE action. That's powerful. Remember: Don't let your intention to do something great diminish. Seize the opportunity. Take massive, sustained action. Speed is a Force. Stay grounded. And use it wisely. (Got anything in your life that could use some energy?)

+1 #50: Perfectionist vs. Optimalist Nov 12, 2017

Show notes

Speaking of perfectionism, let's look at the essence of Tal Ben-Shahar's great book The Pursuit of Perfect. Tal is one of the world's leading positive psychologists. He taught the largest class in Harvard's history: Positive Psychology 101. He tells us that there are two distinct forms of perfectionism—one of them is actually adaptive and the other is not. He tells us they are so different that they need different names. There's the unhealthy perfectionist who suffers from all the things you'd expect from perfectionism: anxiety, depression, etc. He calls them a "Perfectionist." Then, there's the healthy, high-functioning perfectionist who uses those high standards to fuel their growth. He calls them an "Optimalist." Perfectionist vs. Optimalist. Here's the primary difference between the two: The (unhealthy) Perfectionist fails to embrace reality. They actually think they can work for 16 hours a day in pursuit of their great work while staying super healthy and being a great spouse and parent and being super active in the community and a great friend to dozens and... (I get stressed just typing that.) The source of their misery is the fact that they fail to embrace the constraints of reality. They simply CAN'T do all of those things. So, when they inevitably fall short of their expectations, they beat themselves up mercilessly and experience all the negative effects of unhealthy perfectionism. The (healthy) Optimalist? They have really high standards and want to be a great creator, spouse, parent, friend and vital human but they rub their vision up against reality. They see only so many hours in a day and construct their optimal life within the boundaries of those healthy constraints. Note: The word "optimal" is derived from the Latin optimus which means the "best"--not the "perfect." The best. The best within the constraints of our individual realities. Do you tend to be a Perfectionist or an Optimalist? How can you hold your high standards AND embrace the constraints of reality just a little more today? +1.

+1 #45: Bright Lines Nov 10, 2017

Show notes

I dropped out of law school before a semester was over but I do remember one Big Idea from Contracts class. Lawyers like to say that a contract is a good one when there are "bright lines"—when it's super obvious what everyone is agreeing to. Fuzzy lines? Not so good. We want super crisp, obvious, BRIGHT lines. Research scientists borrowed that phrase to describe one of the key attributes of creating good deals with yourself as you architect your ideal life. They tell us that when we're building new habits, we want to have VERY BRIGHT LINES about what is and what is not acceptable behavior. For example, when I wanted to quit eating fast food over a decade ago, the fuzzy line I had of "Eat at McDonald's less often" wasn't particularly helpful. Every time I'd drive by that McDonald's on the way home I'd have to ask myself, "Is today the day I get to go there?" And, when did I go? On the days when I was feeling the worst, of course. Then, one day, I got BRIGHT with my lines. I decided I would NEVER eat at McDonald's again. Period. Now, of course, I broke that commitment a few times before it stuck, but—and this is an important distinction!—at least now I knew I was breaking a contract with myself. Eventually I dialed it in and kicked the fast food habit. I did the same thing with ESPN and Google News and the iPhone in bed and countless other things. Fuzzy? Didn't help. 100% bright? Worked like a charm. So, how about you? What's the #1 bad habit you'd like to get rid of? How can you move from fuzzy to super bright? Think about that and get on it.

+1 #40: 3 + 1 = Magic Nov 09, 2017

Show notes

We all have areas of our lives we want to Optimize. Stephen Covey tells us to think about our "Roles and Goals." Tony Robbins calls it "Categories of Improvement." The challenge with those is that we can get confused with a near-infinite number of Roles and Categories. I like to boil it down to my Big 3: Energy + Family + Service. Energy. For me, it ALL starts with Energy. If I have a tough time getting out of bed in the morning, I'm going to have a tough time living optimally. Therefore, I prioritize making sure my Energy is strong. Family. Why do I want to feel radiantly alive and energized? First and foremost, I want to be an exemplary husband and father. I'm the only one in the world who can be a great husband to my wife and father to my children. In the midst of striving to do great things and make a difference in the world, it's easy to forget that it all starts at home. Service. The other reason I keep my energy strong is to be of service. I want to be, in the words of the French movement philosopher Georges Hébert , "Fit to be useful." So, here's how I like to approach it: First, start by identifying what you at your absolute best would look like in each of those categories. Then capture the benefits you'll experience when you live from that ideal. Then think of the #1 simple thing you can do every.single.day to make sure you're in integrity with that ideal. Then schedule that thing into your Masterpiece Day. And, of course, DO IT. For me, it looks like this: Energy: Me at my best: I am a world-class athlete. (Defined as qualifying for the Spartan World Championships at the end of this year. I need to place in the Top 20 in my age group so it's a JV-version of world-class but it was still a big stretch for me when I set the goal and it has great pull-power.) The benefits (aka "The Why" a la Nietzsche's "He who has a strong enough why can bear almost any how."): I am radiantly alive. I am grounded. Powerful. Calm. Confident. Energized. The #1 thing I will do every day: Sunrise Trail Workout. I'll show up on the mountain and bang out my 1=hour workout. CONSISTENCY of training (obviously oscillating intensity/etc.) is my secret weapon. You? Family: Me at my best: I am an exemplary husband and father. I love to work and create. AND I'm committed to being a great husband and father. An exemplar. That standard fires me up. The benefits: Joy. Presence. Love. Kindness. Patience. Consistency. Celebrating my 50th anniversary with my Love. 😃 The #1 thing I will do every day to make that happen: Quality time one-on-one with my son EVERY day. Defined as at least 30 minutes (target 60 during week and hours on weekend) of just me and him. You? Service: Me at my best: I am an exemplary social entrepreneur, philosopher + teacher, and community leader. I am committed to using business as a force for heroic good while continuing to study, embody and teach wisdom I love and making a difference in our Optimize community. The benefits: The joy of doing what I'm here to do. Flow. Energy. Enthusiasm. Connection. Impact. The #1 thing I will do every day to make this happen: AM1 Deep Work. Before I go online, I will do my morning rituals and Deep Work. Period. As I say all the time: You couldn't pay me to hop online and blow my brain up before doing my creative work. My mind just isn't quite the same after going online. I'm all about accreting a little more value every day and repeating that every day—allowing the gains to aggregate and compound as the creative power magnifies itself incrementally. It all starts with that first Deep Work slot every morning. You? 3 + 1 = Magic.

+1 #35: Journal Lately? Nov 07, 2017

Show notes

Here's another simple way to keep your motivation high: Journal. Sonja Lyubomirsky is one of the world's leading scientists studying well-being. She tells us that one of the most robust ways to boost our optimism and positive thinking (actually, she says it's "The most robust" strategy) is to journal daily—reflecting on our hopes and dreams, visualizing our success and reflecting on the steps we will take to make it all happen. Ten to twenty minutes per day. Even as little as two minutes has been shown to make people happier and healthier. So… What are your hopes and dreams? What steps will you take to make it all happen? Journal lately? Might be a good +1 for today. 😃

+1 #30: Sharpening the Saw Nov 05, 2017

Show notes

Stephen Covey's seventh habit of Highly Effective People is "Sharpen the Saw." He tells us about the importance of renewal if we want to stay at our best and shares this parable to bring the point home: Imagine walking into a forest. You see a guy sawing a tree. He's working and working and working but not getting very far. His blade is clearly dull. So, you suggest he step back and sharpen the saw a bit. He says that's simply not possible. He's way too busy to slow down to sharpen anything. Hmmmm... Really? But with a sharp blade you'd hammer right through that tree! So… Which guy are you? And... What's one tiny little easy thing you could start doing (today!!) that would help you build a chainsaw? Let's do that!!

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