You Are Heroic with Brian Johnson

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+1 #155: Precommitment Dec 17, 2017

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In our last +1, we talked about the power of recommitting. You make a big commitment, then you fall a little off track. No big deal, REcommit and continue on. Today, we're going to add a little letter to recommitment. It's a "P." We'll drop it in right at the beginning. Giving us: PREcommitment. So, now we have: Precommitment. Commitment. And Recommitment. Science says precommitment is one of the most powerful tools in the Willpower tool chest. They even give precommitments a pretty cool name: Odysseus Contracts. Before we jump into ancient mythology and see what it has to say about modern science, let's remember: Will power exemplars play OFFENSE not DEFENSE (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/want-willpower-play-offense-not-defense/). They use their finite willpower wisely to install habits that run on autopilot—avoiding the temptations that drain our willpower as we try to resist them. Offense. Not defense. One of the most powerful ways to do that? Decide in ADVANCE how we will handle a challenging situation. PRECOMMIT ourselves to the best possible action. So, back to mythology. What did Odysessus do when he and his sailors needed to get by the Sirens without crashing into the rocks? He precommitted himself to a course of action. How? By tying himself to his mast and commanding his sailors not to untie him regardless of how much he begged them to do so. THAT's precommitment. He chose to do something that locked himself into a virtuous course of action when he knew he'd be challenged. His sailors precommitted as well. Rather than tie themselves to the boat, they took an even smarter path and avoided the temptation in the first place by plugging their ears with beeswax. They didn't even hear the tempting sounds of the Sirens. Voila! Safe passage through that dangerous path. Again, THAT's precommitment. Odysseus Contracts. Someone struggling with alcohol, for example, would be much wiser to never go into a bar than to try to not drink once they're in there. Someone looking to Optimize their energy would be much wiser to not even walk down the fake food aisles at the grocery store than to buy the sugar and refined flour toxic goop and then try to resist eating it once it's in their pantry. Back to you and Today's +1: What Odysseus Contracts do YOU need to make with yourself?

PNTV: Love 2.0 by Barbara Fredrickson Dec 15, 2017

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Ready to upgrade your vision of love? Then you're in for a treat with this fantastic book by Barbara Fredrickson. Barbara is one of the world's leading positive psychologists. The book is incredibly well-written, deeply inspiring and incredibly practical as well. In fact, I just told Alexandra that this book might be the one that most positively impacts my life. Big Ideas we explore include: Love 1.0 vs. Love 2.0, taking a trip to Vagus, identifying our prevailing desire, #1 tip: create 3 loving moments today, exiting our cocoon of self-absorption via loving-kindness meditation, and Love 2.0 x 2: compassionate + celebratory love.

+1 #150: Hedonic Adaptation Dec 15, 2017

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In our last +1 we hopped on a treadmill with Will Smith and Smokeybot. Today, let's hop on a treadmill with well-being researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky. Sonja is one of the world's leading experts on the science of what is called "hedonic adaptation." Basically, hedonic adaptation is a fancy phrase for our tendency to get used to good things. The way we so easily adapt to awesome stuff is kinda like being on a treadmill. You get fired up about making $x per year or having a certain car or house or whatever then you get to that point and quickly adapt to it—now wanting the NEXT $X per year or house or car or whatever. Then guess what? There you are on your treadmill, working harder and harder and not going anywhere. That's hedonic adaptation. On a related note, Maslow told us that getting used to our blessings is one of the most "nonevil evils" out there. It's not an obvious evil-evil but it's an evil thing nonetheless. So, how do we deal with this tendency to so quickly adapt and take things for granted as we sweat and get nowhere on that happiness treadmill? Well, first, know that this tendency exists. Know that nothing "out there" is E V E R going to make you happy. Ultimately, creating a durable sense of well-being is an inside job. Today's +1: Let's step off the treadmill. Another thing Maslow taught us is that the most actualized among us have "fresh appreciation" for the things others tend to take for granted. Let's appreciate the amazing things you have in your life. How about three things/people that are awesome in your life right now? (That you might be taking for granted!) 1. __________________ 2. __________________ 3. __________________ Practice gratitude (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/gratitude/).Grateful flow (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/grateful-flow/). Celebratory love. etc. Regularly. Step off the treadmill. Appreciate the awesome.(https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/celebratory-love/) Repeat. +1. +1. +1.

PNTV: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman (#358) Dec 15, 2017

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This book combines two of my favorite things: Stoicism + Ryan Holiday's wisdom. Stoicism was one of the most influential philosophy of the Roman world and has continued to influence many of history's greatest minds. As Ryan says: It's time to bring it back as a powerful tool "in the pursuit of self-mastery, perseverance, and wisdom." This is one of the my favorite books ever. Big Ideas we explore: the #1 thing to know about Stoicism, how to create tranquility, a good answer to "What's the latest and greatest?!," the 2 essential tasks in life and the art of acquiescence (aka amor fati).

+1 #145: Opportunities to Move Dec 14, 2017

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Continuing our movement-is-good for you theme, let's talk about how Michelle Segar looks at this. You may recall that Michelle is one of the world's leading researchers on the science of actually DOING the things you know are good for you. In her book No Sweat she tells us that we need to find "opportunities to move" throughout the day. Her clients like to shorten that to OTMs. OTMs. Opportunities to Move. Little things. They exist all day, every day. And, if we want to make our TRILLIONS (!) of cells happy so we can shine with a deeper level of radiant, energized enthusiasm, we'd be wise to look for more OTMs throughout our day. Simple stuff. So mundane, unsexy and seemingly unimportant that we can easily overlook them. You know, like parking as far away from the store (or gym or whatever) as possible so you get a few more steps in. Or, even better, just walking to the store and leaving your car at home. Or, once you're in the store, using a hand-held shopping basket rather than a cart. Tiny little opportunities to move more = good. Or… If you really want to go all in and be like one of the 100 Fittest People of All Time like Dean Karnazes, you can go from finding Opportunities to MOVE all day to basically working out all day every day. In our interview, The Ultramarathon Man Dean told me that's how he likes to roll. Apparently, right before our chat he banged out a quick (12- or 14-min) high intensity interval training workout. And, he planned to do another mini-workout right after our chat. Simple sequence of burpees, pull-ups and sit-ups. All day. Every day. That focus on moving his body has allowed him to do the seemingly impossible like run 350 miles at once and run 50 marathons in 50 US states in 50 days. (Wow.) So, Today's +1: Whether you're looking for Opportunities to Move (OTMs!!) or Opportunities to Workout (OTWs!!), let's move a little more today. And tomorrow. And the day after that… +1. +1. +1.

PNTV: The Way of the SEAL by Mark Divine Dec 13, 2017

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A former U.S. Navy SEAL Commander, Mark Divine integrates the ancient warrior traditions with grounded, practical virtue and 21st century get-it-done effectiveness in a way that I find incredibly inspiring. Big Ideas we cover include the power of front-sight focus, how to DIRECT your mind, going Yoda on your commitments and creating micro goals when things are tough.

+1 #140: Stop Stopping Dec 12, 2017

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Men's Health says that Dean Karnazes is one of the 100 Fittest Men of ALL Time. He's done crazy things—like running 350 miles at once. Plus running a marathon to the South Pole in negative 40 degrees. Then there was the time he ran 50 marathons in all 50 US states in 50 days—finishing with the NYC Marathon which he banged out in 3 hours flat. (Nice!) In our interview about his great book The Road to Sparta, I asked him what ONE piece of wisdom he would share with someone looking to Optimize their lives so they could make a positive difference in the world. His response? He quoted the ancient Chinese proverb: "Be not afraid of going slowly. Be afraid only of stopping." Going slowly? Not a problem. Stopping? Eek. That's when we get in trouble. Whether it's writing a book or running a marathon or doing whatever challenging thing worthy of our attention, KEEP GOING!!! Steve Chandler has a great line for this. He says we need to "Stop stopping." All of which leads us to today's +1 Questions: What epic quest are you on right now? What's your next baby step? Keep moving!! No matter how slowly. And… What's the habit you just KNOW would most benefit you? That keystone habit that, when in place, will most help you Optimize? The one that, when you do it, you feel GREAT!! Yes. THAT ONE. KEEP DOING IT!!! It's OK to suck. But it's not OK to skip. (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/how-to-avoid-habit-suicide/) Remember: STOP STOPPING! +1. +1. +1.

PNTV: The Oxygen Advantage by Patrick McKeown Dec 11, 2017

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Patrick McKeown is one of the world's leading teachers of the Buteyko Breathing Method which was created in the 1950s by a Russian doctor named Dr. Konstantin Buteyko. McKeown suffered from asthma for decades until he found the Buteyko Method. At which point, he reversed his asthma symptoms and then dedicated his life to helping others optimize their breathing. In this book, he extends the Buteyko Method into an approach he calls the Oxygen Advantage. Big Ideas we cover include the #1 obstacle to optimal breathing, Oxygen Delivery 101, the #1 breathing tip, and how to dial in your sleep.

+1 #135: Repairing Relationships Dec 10, 2017

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In our last +1 we chatted about the difference between FALLING in love and STANDING in love. It's easy to fall in love. It's considerably more challenging to stand in love—whether we're talking about an intimate relationship with a significant other, a child or a dear friend. So, know this: We're inevitably going to run into conflict and challenges in our intimate relationships. THAT'S A GIVEN Today's +1 is a key practice for STANDING in love. Leading mindfulness and neuroscience and relationship expert Dan Siegel tells us that when something inevitably goes wrong in a relationship we want to REPAIR it as quickly as we can. One of the examples he uses to make his point is a story about a time when he, Mr. Mindfulness, "flipped his lid," turning off his prefrontal cortex and going full limbic-lame yelling at one of his kids. (Laughing as I type that as a) It's always refreshing to see a world-class teacher and practitioner humbly reminding us that no one is perfect and b) I very much know the feeling as the father of a very energetic 4-year-old. 😃) So, we have an interaction that we're not proud of. Then what? Then, you REPAIR the relationship as quickly as you can. Something like, "Wow. I got really impatient / loud / fill-in-the-blank. I flipped my lid! I'm so sorry about that and I can see what Needs work (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/needs-work/). I just want you to know I'm sorry and that I love you and that I'm committed to getting a little better at handling those challenging moments in the future." * insert potential hug * We don't want those little micro-moments of negativity to stew into jumbo-resentments and unhealthy cauldrons of ick. Take a deep breath. Drop into your heart. Label the emotion Name It to Tame It! (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/name-it-to-tame-it/). Practice some Active Love (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/active-love/). Use whatever tool you need to do to regain your Equanimity (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/the-equanimity-game/). And then Repair. Today's +1 Optimizing opportunity: Any Repairs waiting for you?

+1 #130: What's Your Partner's #1 Self-Care Habit? Dec 09, 2017

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In our last +1, we talked about the importance of identifying and installing your #1 self-care habit. Today I want to talk about another SUPER important thing: Identifying your significant other's (or kids' or friends' or colleagues') #1 self-care habit. Fact is, great relationships are only created by two healthy people. 1 + 1. If you want to Optimize the love in your life, you'd be wise to a) start by Optimizing yourself and b) support your partner (assuming they want the support!) Optimize THEIR lives. And our #1 self-care habit is a REALLY (like, Jumbo-REALLY!!!!) good place to start. For example, my #1 is sleep. Alexandra knows this. And, she knows that she doesn't really want to be around me when I'm not meeting this fundamental need. So, we prioritize this to make sure I'm getting good sleep. (Thank you, Darling!!) Alexandra's #1 self-care habit is time alone every day to meditate/reflect/create/etc. Knowing this, we prioritize it to make sure she gets that time. So… What's YOUR #1. And… What's your PARTNER'S #1? Find out. Help them rock it. And watch your relationship flourish. +1 that 1 + 1.