You Are Heroic with Brian Johnson

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+1: #1005 Thoughts + Heartbeats Jan 05, 2020

Show notes

Emily Fletcher was a Broadway performer living the dream. Only… Her hair was graying at 27, she was always stressed and had chronic insomnia. One of her fellow Broadway performers was always super calm and confident. Emily asked her how she did it. The woman told her that she meditated. Emily rolled her eyes. Then she decided to give meditation a try. After ONE day of meditation, her insomnia was gone. She was hooked. Soon after, she quit Broadway, traveled to India to study more deeply then became a meditation teacher and created something called the "Ziva Technique" which she's taught to thousands of people. In her book Stress Less, Accomplish More, Emily walks us through the science of WHY meditation is so powerful and then introduces us to the "3 M's" of her Z Technique: Mindfulness, Meditation and Manifesting. As you know if you've been following along, I'm a HUGE fan of meditation. I've missed ONE day in the last 12+ years. If you've been looking for a book that will help you get started on your meditation journey and/or take your existing practice to the next level, I think you'll love it. It's a great place to start. Today I want to chat about one of my favorite distinctions from the book. Emily tells us: "The single most important piece of meditation advice you can hold with you as you dive in is this: Thoughts are not the enemy. Remember that the mind thinks involuntarily just like the heart beats involuntarily, so please don't try to give your mind a command to be silent. Instead, know that thoughts are okay—they're actually a useful part of this process and now you have your trusty anchor, one, to come back to when you notice you've taken a mental field trip." I always love it when an author prefaces some wisdom with "The single most important thing you need to know about X is..." As we've discussed, IF that happens, THEN I sit up a little straighter (gently pulling that thread through the head, of course) and pay even closer attention. So... Sit up a little straighter and pull that thread if you feel so inspired as we note: "The single most important piece of meditation advice you can hold with you as you dive in is this: Thoughts are not the enemy." Have YOU "tried" to meditate but felt like a failure because you couldn't stop thinking? Well... Uh... Know this: You're not SUPPOSED to be able to stop your brain from thinking. PERIOD. Emily tells us that she's NEVER (!) had a session in which she didn't have a single thought bubble up. It's not going to happen. EVER. Why? Because, and I just love this line: "The mind thinks involuntarily just like the heart beats involuntarily." <- Isn't that a beautiful, empowering way to think about it? The mind THINKS involuntarily just like the heart BEATS involuntarily. Yes, you can slow your heart rate quite a bit by learning how to breathe deeply, training wisely and all that jazz. BUT... You can't just flip the switch OFF. SAME WITH YOUR BRAIN. We can learn how to slow our thoughts down (interestingly, via the same mechanisms we use to slow our heart rates down: deep breathing, good sleep, exercise, etc.) BUT... We can't just flip the switch OFF. <- Isn't that empowering? Knowing that, when our minds inevitably move away from our anchors, we can just say "Oh, well" like Herbert Benson recommends and get back to our practice—in this case, to allowing our mantra to gently bubble up in our consciousness as we deeply relax our minds and bodies. So… One more time: Our thoughts are not our enemies. In fact, a meditation in which we have a LOT of thoughts bubble up is actually, potentially, one of our BEST meditations because the process of sitting and calmly bringing ourselves back to our anchor allows us to "digest"/"release" those thoughts that would otherwise have remained locked up in our minds and bodies. As Emily says: "Thinking during meditation is actually an indicator that some stress is leaving the body. This is where the healing happens. Better out than in, right? When you feel those thoughts coming up and out, know that it is stress exiting your nervous system." And: "If you remember one thing from this whole book, let it be this: A deep meditation is no better for you than a shallow meditation. I'm going to say that again for dramatic effect. A deep meditation is no better for you than a shallow meditation. I am defining a deep meditation as one in which time passes quickly, you have few thoughts, and you generally enjoy the sitting. In a shallow meditation, the time may pass more slowly, you may feel like you are just sitting there having thoughts the whole time, and you may not enjoy the sitting itself. Both are beneficial for you. A deep meditation means the body is getting deep rest; a shallow meditation means the body is releasing stresses in the form of thoughts. One is not better for you than the other. Write it on your mirror, make a T-shirt, tattoo it on your forehead. I know it sounds crazy and counter to everything you have likely heard about meditation so far, but it's true." Here's to just showing up and brushing our brains. TODAY.

+1: #1000 The Optimize +1 Hall of Fame Dec 31, 2019

Show notes

This is Optimize +1 #1,000. I don't really know how to best start this one other than by saying: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Seriously. I am so honored to be a part of your life—whether that's occasionally or every day. And I'm deeply grateful to have your support so I can do what I do. Thank you. Today I want to celebrate YOU. And… I want to shine a special light of awesome on all of you heroically gritty Optimizers who have actually been with us for ALL 1,000 Optimize +1s. !!! We've actually created a little virtual Hall of Fame. It's time to induct our first wave of honorees. (If we missed you, sorry! Please let us know and we'll retroactively add you!) Ahem. Here we go… charles agrusa Kay Garkusha Peggy Rakas SYLVIO FERREIRA TORRES Nat Barcellini Tricia Nelson Jaya Chauhan Hussein Jinnah Jordan Bernard Angèle Verrier Judi Wearing Khaled Sultan Georgina Ingram Hal Simonson Angela Stokes Gianni Bergandi Solène Hyordey Esther Ratsch SRINIVAS BNS Abhay Gulmire Ajay Panackal Riccardo Gelmini Soraia Kutby Jason Simmonds Bogdan Petrutescu Matt Willcocks Michael J Smith Kippy Jo Berry Candace Pollock Sidney Hutter Dennis Schvejda Tony Vito Ana Pichardo Matt Ramsey Steve Mortimer Travis Thomas Zack Feeney Cheree Simons Shane Starke Deb Kronsberg Shelly Auld Stephen Stohler Paulo Oliveira Stephanie Martinez Caron MacLane Betsy Newlon Dawn Hoffmann Nancy Stahl Candace Pollock Mark Fischer Kristie Kuehnast Gieta Beckmann Kat Bloom Derrick Wulf Luke Gilson Daniel Keller Pattie Beaven Dennis Miller Tim Brown David Newman Wendy Holt Michael Balchan Tara Bogdon Dushan Bosotov Carl Brenner Bharat Singh Lisa LaMont Josée Boutin Michele Herkimer Katherine Long Henry Mason Cath Cooney Kevin Stallmo Ryan Phillips Virginie Kidwell Patrick Köhn Jaya Chauhan Catherine Cullen Antonis Katsarakis David Lee Jr Bud Search Brendan Malloy Bruce Ollis Helen Thorgalsen Marta Ribas Aygemang Clay Geoff Downey Kyle Abel Win Callender Arvind Gopal Susie Berman KERRY MEACHAM Jericho Robles Lori Lang RICHARD RINCK Joe Goryl Fernando Orta Cheryl Wheeler Aneesh Ghosh João Alves Ernest Wassmann Stephanie Scott Cathy Dodd Kay Garkusha Pam Holzapfel Yohanse Manzanarez Stephanie Criner Susan Benson Genevieve Jones Anne Dwane Bill Turner Andy Moriarity Jonathan Schreter Glen McNiel Laurie Struck Emmanuel Ryckeboer Hayley Schmidtke Louise Soifer Wendy Holt Tania May Summer Teixeira Randall Grayson Blaine Hart Jamie Erwine Grace Christensen Jill Young Scott Miller James Abney Marie Anne Patenaude-Alexandre Steve Medland Tirth Pat Alma-Jade Chanter Julie Beck Jeffry Myers Ben Robins Jason Deppen Mark Davis Carl Blackburn Michael Metcalf Mari Lynch Laura Larsen-Strecker Scott Miller Mike Lange Pamela Castillo Diane Martin

+1: #995 10 Spartan Core Virtues Dec 26, 2019

Show notes

In our last +1, we hung out with my two favorite Joes: Scholar of the Hero's Journey (and Grandpa in my spiritual family tree) Joseph Campbell, and gritty heroic exemplar (and soul brother), Joe De Sena. Today I want to spend a little more time with Joe De Sena. Let's open up his latest book The Spartan Way. Page 14. He tells us: "Through work and endurance racing I have come to know many people. Some of them were unforgettable. These great ones all shared the same core qualities. I call them the Spartan Core Virtues. Combine these qualities into one person and you have the ideal boss, the valuable employee, the perfect business partner, or comrade in any endeavor. Here's a short description of each of the Spartan Core Virtues. Self-Awareness: Know who you are and who you are not. If you don't, you'll be confused daily. Commitment: Stick to it because the world is filled with people who don't. You're better than that. Passion: If you're not passionate about what you do, you're not going to be great at it. Take things seriously and learn to be passionate. Discipline: Set your rules and stick to them. Be disciplined about it. Prioritization: Deal with the important things—important being what you define as important—first. Grit: Get gritty. Break out of your comfort zone. Do the hard, scary shit. Find your passion and persevere. Courage: This is the ability to stay focused and work relentlessly with both intensity and passion through virtually anything, especially through failure. Optimism: See the world as you want it to be, not as it is. Be ever hopeful. Integrity: If you're not honest with yourself and others, then what are you? Wholeness: Live the life of a complete and whole Spartan." There ya go. The Ten Spartan Core Virtues. Repetition is the essence of mastery, so let's go through them again. This time, if you feel so inspired and didn't already do a quick inventory on how you're doing with each, please do. Self-Awareness + Commitment + Passion + Discipline + Prioritization + Grit + Courage + Optimism + Integrity + Wholeness. So... What's awesome? What needs work? What can (and will!) you start doing differently? Let's remember: It's ALL (!!!) about OPERATIONALIZING VIRTUE. +1. +1. +1. P.S. One of the things Joe and I joke about is that I'm his brother from Athens. (Hah.) Embodying those Spartan virtues? Well… That, of course, is what Aristotle taught us when he said that the summum bonum (the highest good!) is to live with eudaimonia—to flourish by having a "good soul." How do we do that? LIVE VIRTUOUSLY!! (Again, echo, the one-word summation of ALL of our work together? Areté. Express the best version of yourself moment to moment to moment and voila! Enter: Eudaimonia + a deep sense of flourishing.) More on all that soon (and forever)…

+1: #990 The Passion Paradox Dec 21, 2019

Show notes

Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness have written a couple great books together. First, they gave us Peak Performance. Then The Passion Paradox. Today we're going to talk about one of the central themes of The Passion Paradox. (Tomorrow we'll chat about some goodness from Peak Performance.) So… Passion. It's AWESOME! Except when it isn't. Enter: The Passion Paradox. As Brad and Steve put it: "Mindlessly living with a passion can be extremely harmful and destructive. Mindfully living with a passion can be the key to a life well lived." They tell us that psychologists differentiate two types of passion by calling the unhealthy kind "Obsessive Passion" and the healthy kind "Harmonious Passion." Obsessive Passion is toxic. It has two primary facets: 1. Focusing too much on extrinsic results (like fame, wealth, achievement, etc.); 2. Being too worried about failure. Harmonious Passion, on the other hand, gives us a deep sense of joy. Whereas the toxic passion is focused on the pursuit of extrinsic rewards, the healthy passion is focused on intrinsic drivers. As Brad and Steve put it: "Enter harmonious passion: a feeling that emerges when you are wrapped up in something primarily for the joy of the activity, when your engagement is not merely a means to an end but rather an end in itself. Harmonious passion manifests mainly from activities that are freely chosen without contingencies; when you do something because you enjoy it, not because it offers potential rewards, and not to avoid negative repercussions. Not every moment of harmonious passion is necessarily pleasing, but overall, it is deeply fulfilling. It aligns closely with the ancient Greek notion of eudaimonia, or a kind of happiness that results not from overwhelming pleasure but from striving to meet one's full potential by engaging in activities that one considers meaningful. In the 1970s, the late psychologist and humanist philosopher Erich Fromm wrote of something similar, which he called productive activity, where happiness isn't related to the attainment of possession or rewards but rather to 'the process of ever growing aliveness . . . for living as fully as one can is so satisfactory that concern for what one might or might not attain has little chance to develop.' The great paradox, however, is that although external achievement is never a primary goal of harmonious passion, when you become completely immersed in what you're doing for the joy of the activity itself, it is often a by-product. Those who focus most on success are least likely to achieve it. Those who focus least on success, and focus on the process of engaging in their craft instead, are most likely to achieve it." That's Today's +1. First: Shout out for eudaimonia. :) Second: Pop quiz: How's YOUR passion? Here's to the Harmonious variety in which we seek mastery and experience the joys of mindfully embracing our passion—while letting the outcomes take care of themselves.

+1: #985 Operating at the Highest Level Dec 16, 2019

Show notes

In our last +1, we did our best Boss impersonation as we reinterpreted our sweaty palms and racing hearts as a sign we're EXCITED and READY TO GO rather than as a sign that something's wrong. When I read that passage in Marie's book, I immediately thought of some parallel wisdom from Jon Eliot's Overachievement. Recall that Eliot is the guy who told us that we want to keep our V-12 engines and learn how to manage all that power rather than swap it out for a lawnmower engine. And, he told us that we want to be more like squirrels than Einstein when we get ready to perform. So… Here's the passage I thought of as I read about the Boss's Bossness. Eliot tells us: "The physical symptoms of fight-or-flight are what the human body has learned over thousands of years to operate more efficiently and at the highest level. Anxiety is a cognitive interpretation of that physical response." Aha! That energy we feel when we're about to perform? Eliot tells us we need to remember two more things: "1. Everything that your body does to you when the pressure is on is good for performance...

Pressure is different from anxiety; nervousness is different from worry."

One more time: Everything is inherently empty of meaning. We get to CHOOSE the meaning we give to any and everything that's happening to us. (Period!) So, might as well choose the optimal response. Excited about anything Today? Me, too. Let's do this!

+1: #980 The Master Fails More Times Dec 11, 2019

Show notes

A few +1s ago, we had fun chatting about the starting and finish lines of my first business, eteamz. I mentioned that it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows and we briefly discussed the fact that I've failed WAY MORE times than I've succeeded. (btw. As a recovering fixed-mindset perfectionist, it was therapeutic for me to type that. Hah. Seriously.) Today we're going to remind ourselves to embrace the mis-takes and failures of life that INEVITABLY (and NECESSARILY!!) occur as we strive to do great things in pursuit of mastering ourselves in service to the world. This gem is pretty epic and worth contemplating: "The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried." Then there's Adam Grant's wisdom from Originals where he quotes Randy Komisar—one of the best entrepreneurs/investors alive: "Whether you're generating or evaluating new ideas the best you can do is measure success on the kind of yardstick that batters use in baseball. As Randy Komisar puts it, 'If I'm hitting .300, I'm a genius. That's because the future cannot be predicted. The sooner you learn it, the sooner you can be good at it.'" And… There's Michael Jordan's wisdom via Carol Dweck's Mindset (one more time!): "Michael Jordan embraced his failures. In fact, in one of his favorite ads for Nike, he says: "I've missed more than nine thousand shots. I've lost almost three hundred games. Twenty-six times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot, and missed." You can be sure that each time, he went back and practiced the shot a hundred times." As we look forward to 2020 and commit to making it the best year of our lives (and the start of the best DECADE of our lives!!) let's reframe our mis-takes and failures as foundation-building fuel for our heroic quests. Capitalize all those mistakes. Use the data wisely. And, one more time: Give us all you've got. TODAY.

+1: #975 The Tenth of an Inch Dec 06, 2019

Show notes

We talk a lot about the futility of arguing with reality. As Byron Katie so perfectly says, "When I argue with reality I lose. But only 100% of the time." (Hah.) Today we're going to take another look at that wisdom from a slightly different angle. We'll invite a couple of modern Zen Masters to the party: Joko Beck and Phil Jackson. We'll start with legendary basketball coach Phil Jackson's wisdom. In his book Sacred Hoops, he tells us: "In Zen it is said that the gap between accepting things the way they are and wishing them to be otherwise is 'the tenth of an inch of difference between heaven and hell.' If we can accept whatever we've been dealt—no matter how unwelcome—the way to proceed eventually becomes clear. This is what is meant by right action: the capacity to observe what's happening and act appropriately, without being distracted by self-centered thoughts. If we rage and resist, our angry, fearful minds have trouble quieting down sufficiently to allow us to act in the most beneficial way for ourselves and others." Thank you, Phil. Now for Joko Beck. In Everyday Zen, she tells us: "If we require that life be a certain way, inevitably we suffer—since life is always the way it is, and not always fair, not always pleasant. Life is not particularly the way we want it to be, it is just the way it is. And that need not prevent our enjoyment of it, our appreciation, our gratitude." That's Today's +1. When/if we find ourselves a little (or a lot annoyed) Today—whether that's with our kids or our colleagues or ourselves—let's see if we can step back and notice the gap between what's happening in the moment and what we want to be happening in the moment. That tenth of an inch? Let's close it. -1. -1. -1. for the +1 win! P.S. If you're getting all crazy-ragey? Well, you just fell into a mile-long chasm between reality and your fantasy of what should be happening. Good news? Just snap your fingers, love what it is and that gap magically vanishes.

+1: #965 Asking for Qualities Nov 26, 2019

Show notes

In our last +1, we spent some time with Todd Herman, Batman, Dora the Explorer and YOUR most heroic self. Today we're going to connect all that goodness to wisdom from the classic peak-performance book The Inner Game of Tennis by Tim Gallwey. Here's how he puts it: "'Asking for qualities' describes the other kind of role-playing. When introducing this idea, I usually say something like this: 'Imagine that I am the director of a television series. Knowing that you are an actor that plays tennis, I ask if you would like to do a bit part as a top-flight tennis player. I assure you that you needn't worry about hitting the ball out or into the net because the camera will only be focused on you and will not follow the ball. What I'm mainly interested in is that you adopt professional mannerisms, and that you swing your racket with super self-assurance. Above all, your face must express no self-doubt. You should look as if you are hitting every ball exactly where you want to. Really get into the role, hit as hard as you like and ignore where the ball is actually going." "Asking for qualities." That's one of Gallwey's three practices for communicating with what he calls Self 2—which is basically your Optimus-best self that innately knows how to crush it if we'd simply get out of our own way. (The other two practices? Letting go of judgments and the art of creating images of the outcomes you want to see.) Today we're going to walk onto the set of the movie that is our lives. You're the star. (Go you!) (Well, technically, we're ALL just bit players in the game of life so perhaps we should adopt that view, eh?) So… What roles are you playing these days? (Perhaps you can use the Big 3 Identities for Energy + Work + Love.) Now… How would you show up in your life if you acted like a top-flight pro in your given field, adopted professional mannerisms and did your thing with super self-assurance—with no doubt and pure confidence? Let's ACT LIKE THAT. Today. Seriously. How would you walk, talk, breathe and be if you were acting like the best possible version of yourself? Be that. And let's watch our performance (and enjoyment) soar.

+1: #960 Capturing a Richer Mindset Nov 21, 2019

Show notes

In our last +1, we revisited Ellen Langer at her "Psychology of Possibility" lab at Harvard to learn that words matter. As you may recall, simply priming people with words associated with old age (via a crossword puzzle!) will cause them to walk more slowly to the elevator than those who weren't primed with those words. *rubs eyes* One more time: Astonishing, eh? And… One more time: WORDS MATTER. A lot. Langer shares that study and wisdom in her book Counterclockwise in a section in which she also talks about "placebos" and other truly fascinating studies. Here's how she puts it: "When we see mind and body as parts of a single entity, the research on placebos takes on new meaning and suggests we can not only control much of our disease experience, but we may also be able to extend our ability to gain, recover, or enhance our health. Placebos often come in the form of a single word that captures a richer mindset. In one study I conducted with my students, we explored the mindset most of us have regarding excellent vision air force pilots have. All participants were given a vision test. One group of participants were then encouraged to role-play 'air force pilots.' They dressed the part and, in uniform, sat in a flight simulator. They were asked to read the letters on the wing of a nearby plane, which were actually part of an eye chart. Those participants who adopted the 'pilot' mindset, primed to have excellent vision, showed improved vision over those who were simulating being in the simulator and simply asked to read an eye chart from the same distance." WHAT?! Just having people pretend that they're air force pilots can improve their vision? SERIOUSLY? Yes. That's Today's +1. What's YOUR "single word that captures a richer mindset"? Let's pop that mantra-placebo word all day Today. And, if you feel so inspired, why not even dress the part as well?

+1: #955 Falling on Your Butt Nov 16, 2019

Show notes

Geoff Colvin's Talent Is Overrated is a great book. It falls into the "Effort Counts Twice" / Deliberate Practice bucket of how to reach our Peak via Grit, etc. It's packed with great stories about, as per the sub-title of the book: "What Really Separates World-Class Performers from Everybody Else." (Here's a short hint to the answer: "No matter who they were, or what explanation of their performance was being advanced, it always took them many years to become excellent, and if a person achieves elite status only after many years of toil, assigning the principal role in that success to innate gifts becomes problematic, to say the least.") (Note: That doesn't mean Talent Is IRRELEVANT, just OVERRATED when compared to extraordinarily hard work. Again: See Effort Counts Twice for Angela Duckworth's math on the subject!) So… Today I want to share one of my favorite stories from that book. Here it is. Colvin tells us: "A study of figure skaters found that sub-elite skaters spent lots of time working on the jumps they could already do, while skaters at the highest levels spent more time on the jumps they couldn't do, the kind that ultimately win Olympic medals and that involve lots of falling down before they're mastered." (Aha! Stretching out of our comfort zones into our stretch zones (but not into our panic zones!) for the win!) Colvin then tells the story of Shizuka Arakawa, who won the gold medal in figure skating at the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin, Italy. As you may know, she rocked some crazy move called "a layback Ina Bauer" — which basically required her to bend backward "almost double with the feet pointing in opposite directions — leading into a three-jump combination." You can watch her gold-medal winning performance here. (Note1: The move we're talking about occurs at the 1:45 mark.) (Note2: If you aren't moved to tears of joy as you watch such a beautiful expression of human excellence then…. well… I don't know what to say other than rewatch it?!) Now…. When most of us watch something like that it simply looks IMPOSSIBLE to do. (And, for most of us, it pretty much is.) But… As we watch that performance in AWE, we would be wise to remember that Shizuka, who won the gold at twenty-four, had been training for NINETEEN years. NINETEEN years!! Consistently pushing her edges. Falling down again and again and again... In fact, Colvin calculated the number of times she probably fell and says: "Landing on your butt twenty thousand times is where great performance comes from." And… That's Today's +1. Ineffably elegant grace? It's the by-product of being willing to inelegantly fall on your butt (on cold ice, no less!) 20,000 (!!) times. Olympic cameras back on you. Let's cruise back into our respective metaphorical ice-skating rinks to train like world-class performers as we wear our falls like medals and remember this parting wisdom from Colvin: "The evidence offers no easy assurances. It shows that the price of top-level achievement is extraordinarily high. Perhaps it's inevitable that not many people will choose to pay it. But the evidence shows also that by understanding how a few become great, anyone can become better. Above all, what the evidence shouts most loudly is striking, liberating news: that great performance is not reserved for the pre-ordained few. It is available to you and to everyone."

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