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Wolf 359 — Arts
Wolf 359

Life’s not easy for Doug Eiffel, the communications officer for the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station, currently on Day 448 of its orbit around red dwarf star Wolf 359. He’s stuck on a scientific survey mission of indeterminate length, 7.8 light years from Earth. His only company on board the station are stern mission chief Minkowski, insane science officer Hilbert, and Hephaestus Station’s sentient, often malfunctioning operating system Hera. He doesn’t have much to do for his job other than monitoring static and intercepting the occasional decades-old radio broadcast from Earth, so he spends most of his time creating extensive audio logs about the ordinary, day-to-day happenings within the station. But the Hephaestus is an odd place, and life in extremely isolated, zero gravity conditions has a way of doing funny things to people’s minds. Even the simplest of tasks can turn into a gargantuan struggle, and the most ordinary-seeming things have a way of turning into anything but that. Wolf 359 is a radio drama in the tradition of Golden Age of Radio shows. Take one part space-faring adventure, add one part character drama, and mix in one part absurdist sitcom, and you get Wolf 359.

Copyright: © Kinda Evil Genius Productions, LLC

Latest Episodes:

Episode 46: Boléro Dec 25, 2016

Show notes

As Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera reel from the results of their mutiny, it soon becomes clear that even worse dangers might be right around the corner. With everyone's psyche in a delicate state and the chances of survival mounting against them, the crew has to decide how to spend their last hours before the alien contact event. Plus, the Grand Ol' Opry, ooga-booga, evolution, the oncoming alien-pocalypse, and getting by with some help from your friends.

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Episode 45: Desperate Measures Dec 12, 2016

Show notes

This episode of Wolf 359 contains gun violence. Listener discretion is advised.

Part two of two. The crew desperately tries to salvage their mutiny and escape the wrath of the SI-5. But as both sides try to out-maneuver each other, the danger of drastic actions causing irreparable damage becomes more and more pronounced. Plus, the hands of the enemy, disciplinary tools, recreational monster hunting, warning shots, and disgusting pieces of human garbage.

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Episode 44: Desperate Times Dec 06, 2016

Show notes

Part one of two. Still reeling from recent revelations, the crew plans to neutralize Colonel Kepler and the SI-5. But it's not long before different factions insist on conflicting ways to overcome their enemies - and about the level of force the situation calls for. Plus, clinical descriptions, war crime fuel, different approaches to weasel-popping, situations of absolutely elephantine proportions, and a lovely set of steak knives.

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Episode 43: Persuasion Nov 22, 2016

Show notes

With just over a day left before the long-anticipated alien contact event, Colonel Kepler keeps the crew working overtime to get the Hephaestus ready for anything - and everything - that might happen. As they work around the clock, however, the crew finds that Wolf 359's turbulent air space and a side project of Doctor Hilbert's might offer some unique challenges and some unexpected opportunities. Plus, Q-branch gizmos, Santa's Workshop, studly, manly things, bedtime reading, and the latest in Hephaestus Fashion.

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Episode 42: Time to Kill Oct 31, 2016

Show notes

In order to better study the properties of an incoming solar storm, Eiffel, Lovelace, Jacobi, and Maxwell are assigned to collect data on board a small experimental module. Separated from the Hephaestus and the rest of the crew for four days, they must find ways to occupy their minds and stave off boredom. But as time goes by and the storm draws closer, they soon discover that their expedition may be more exciting than they expected. Plus, responsible scientific surveys, vaguely horrific people, Cthulhu, episodes of The Twilight Zone, and doing things by the book.

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Episode 41: Memoria Oct 19, 2016

Show notes

With Hera out of commission, Doctor Maxwell attempts a difficult reconstructive procedure on the unresponsive autopilot program. Before she can even begin, however, she will have to navigate through the shifting landscape of Hera’s memory banks, a task infinitely more complex than it might appear at first glance. Plus, subjective realities, really loud pinball machines, deleted scenes, attempted crew member homicide, and a backdoor into the subconscious.

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Episode 40: Limbo Oct 03, 2016

Show notes

While most of the crew tries to enjoy a rare moment of downtime, Doctor Maxwell discovers some previously undetected flaws in the station's systems. When her suspicions about these faults are proven right, the crew is forced to have a series of unexpected and difficult conversations. Plus, the Cybermen Appreciation Society, Cold Shower September, the master of the prank, everlasting funstoppers, and a big pink Heffalump that only you can see.

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Episode 39: All Things Considered Sep 19, 2016

Show notes

After a technical mishap causes Jacobi's latest experimental gizmo to discharge within the Urania, a number of the SI-5's personal items are vented into space. A furious Colonel Kepler assembles everyone who was involved, hell bent on determining which of his underlings is at fault. But when Minkowski, Jacobi, and Eiffel each present wildly different accounts of the event, he and Captain Lovelace discover that determining the why, the how, the when, and the who is responsible for this snafu might be trickier than it first appears. Plus, willful destruction of property, outright libel, Thunderdome, excellent opportunities for science, and Exit 101.

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Episode 38: Happy Endings Sep 04, 2016

Show notes

Preparations are underway to deal with the next contact anomaly from Wolf 359. But the old crew of the Hephaestus is still unsure what preparations they should make to deal with Colonel Kepler and his team, and the divide in strategies is only getting sharper. Hoping to bring an end to the standstill, Dr. Hilbert decides to try a more radical approach, and seek help from an unlikely source. Plus, the Midnight Society, botanical incidents, inane military mantras, perfectly equitable solutions, and a little Easter Egg.

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Mini Episode 13: Kansas Aug 29, 2016

Show notes

Captain Warren Kepler undergoes an evaluation.

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