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Wolf 359 — Arts
Wolf 359

Life’s not easy for Doug Eiffel, the communications officer for the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station, currently on Day 448 of its orbit around red dwarf star Wolf 359. He’s stuck on a scientific survey mission of indeterminate length, 7.8 light years from Earth. His only company on board the station are stern mission chief Minkowski, insane science officer Hilbert, and Hephaestus Station’s sentient, often malfunctioning operating system Hera. He doesn’t have much to do for his job other than monitoring static and intercepting the occasional decades-old radio broadcast from Earth, so he spends most of his time creating extensive audio logs about the ordinary, day-to-day happenings within the station. But the Hephaestus is an odd place, and life in extremely isolated, zero gravity conditions has a way of doing funny things to people’s minds. Even the simplest of tasks can turn into a gargantuan struggle, and the most ordinary-seeming things have a way of turning into anything but that. Wolf 359 is a radio drama in the tradition of Golden Age of Radio shows. Take one part space-faring adventure, add one part character drama, and mix in one part absurdist sitcom, and you get Wolf 359.

Copyright: © Kinda Evil Genius Productions, LLC

Latest Episodes:

Mission Mishaps: A Little Night Music Sep 12, 2017

Show notes

Mission Mishaps, Entry One. Hephaestus Formal Complaint #ARB062. Day 510. Eiffel tries to boost the crew's morale with a bit of sonic artistry appreciation.

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Episode 53: Dirty Work Sep 04, 2017

Show notes

This episode of Wolf 359 contains discussions of violence and death. Listener discretion is advised. When Eiffel picks up signs of a transmission from deep space just hours before Hera's scheduled to go through an internal reset, the crew is divided on whether he should attempt to pursue it or not. But with only the autopilot for backup and an unexpected threat waiting in the wings, they soon discover they're more vulnerable than any of them realize. Plus, above average chimpanzees, horrifying threats of bodily mutilation, Plan C, rules of project management, and elaborate pranks to teach important lessons.

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Episode 52: Constructive Criticism Aug 22, 2017

Show notes

Following the fiasco that was his latest attempt at radio journalism, Officer Eiffel has retreated away from the crew, working long hours by himself. Things take a turn for the worse, however, when a dangerous gas is accidentally released throughout the station. Quarantined in Hilbert's old lab while Hera works to undo the environmental damage, the crew and their prisoners resorts to increasingly desperate means to stave off boredom, slow-simmering resentments, and Eiffel's growing insecurities about his place on the Hephaestus. Plus, tragic accidents, slight malfunctions, Franken-Nouveau decor, interjection-y glory, and a complete lack of moral compass.

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Episode 51: Shut Up and Listen Aug 08, 2017

Show notes

Space Monkey Radio proudly presents U.F.Overview: a new series that offers in-depth analysis on the possibility of alien contact, and explores the complex realities of communicating with non-terrestrial beings. What do we know? How do we know it? When will we know that what we're trying to know is something we can know? Join our two intrepid co-hosts as they ponder these questions. Plus, archive recordings, hapless civilians, nine-dimensional formats, the world's suckiest pleasure cruise, and the forefront of evil in thirty-two different star systems.

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Episode 50: The Hiccups Method Jul 25, 2017

Show notes

It’s been a few weeks since the crew aborted repairs on the Urania, and they are no closer to figuring out how to satisfy the aliens' mysterious demands. If only they had someone on board who shared some sort of connection with these beings... But convincing Captain Lovelace to try and reach out to the alien presence for answers is only half the battle - they will have to really think outside the box in order to make contact. Plus, Borg network action, intergalactic twenty questions, Ouija boards, the Avatar State, and purely academic curiosity.

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Episode 49: Out of the Loop Jul 11, 2017

Show notes

With the end of the Urania's repairs in sight, the crew is throwing all their energy into one final push. But as the finish line inches closer, Captain Lovelace begins to notice something strange. Work is mysteriously getting undone each morning, and certain events seem to be repeating themselves day in and day out. What is happening? And why does no one else seem to notice? Plus, hydraulic horsepower, horrific manipulation, highly unlikely events, the sledgehammer approach, and Hephaestus Crisis Dog Years.

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Episode 48: Theta Scenario Jun 26, 2017

Show notes

Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains mentions of violence, death, and suicide. Listener discretion is advised.

As Eiffel, Minkowski, Hera, and Lovelace try to decide how to allocate their limited resources, Kepler finally reveals some of Goddard Futuristics's most deeply held secrets. Before the crew can consider the existential implications of these revelations, however, they'll need to deal with their own growing fears, insecurities, and personal conflicts. Plus, snake-filled pits, educated guesses, paradigm shifts, impractical human emotions, and the remainder of our musical program.

Tonight's episode features Julia Morizawa in the role of Commander Zhang. It also features The Waltz of the Flowers, by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky.

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Mini Episode 14: One of Them Jun 19, 2017

Show notes

Eiffel and Minkowski listen in on a tense discussion.

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Episode 47: Into the Depths Jun 12, 2017

Show notes

Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence. Listener discretion is advised.

The crew of the Hephaestus's day just got a whole lot worse. The funeral they were holding was interrupted by one of the deceased seemingly coming back to life, their station is being battered by radiation, and Hera has gone offline. And - oh yes - the alien contact event they've been hearing so much about has only just started. It's going to take everything the beleaguered team has to weather the storm, deal with the two enemy prisoners in their midst, and come to grips with what's happened to Captain Lovelace. Plus, a chain reaction, trash duty, cool dental plans, the sacred tradition of "Nose Goes," and why we get into trouble.

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Special Episode: Change of Mind Jun 09, 2017

Show notes

Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence. Listener discretion is advised.

Captain Lovelace, commanding officer of the U.S.S. Hephaestus Station, is not having a great week. She's butting heads with Communications Officer Lambert, her pedantic second-in-command. Doctors Hui and Fourier, her astrophysicists, seem more interested in an upcoming stellar flare than in basic station safety. Her engineer, Fisher, is getting fed up with the constant bickering, and her chief science officer, Doctor Selberg, isn't exactly... dependable. But things really take a turn for the worse when her superiors at Command decide it's time to put her crew through a very special training exercise, one carefully tailored to get under their skin. Lovelace, Lambert, and the rest of the crew must come together if they hope to make it through the longest, strangest, and most dangerous day of their expedition so far. Plus, apoplectic fugue states, emotional decision-making, corporate acid trips, never-before-seen attractions, and work of real substance.

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