With You in the Weeds

Single and Dating Again Nov 13, 2024

When relationships don’t work, there is often a sense of loss and heartache. Being single and longing for connection may mean you’re willing to compromise your standards in order to deal with loneliness or fulfill your need for intimacy.

Our hookup culture promotes a consumer mindset, detached from emotion, that encourages you to get your needs met without considering spiritual, intellectual or emotional compatibility. But that can lead to unwise dating decisions and further pain.

Shay and John share their own personal stories of painful breakups and the time it takes to heal when relationships don't work out. They offer wisdom and guidance when it comes to healing from divorce, how to know when you’re ready to date again, choosing wisely when it comes to finding a spouse and readiness for marriage.

If you are single and seeking companionship, or mending a broken heart after a breakup or divorce, this episode will challenge you to consider the importance of not jumping too quickly into a relationship. Singleness is a good thing; a time for personal growth and reflection, and an opportunity to prepare your heart for whatever the future holds.

American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus by Lisa Wade

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The Road Away From Divorce Pt. 2 Nov 06, 2024

Are you concerned that you’reon the road to divorce? Maybe you and your spouse have fallen into unhealthy, frustrating, and toxic patterns that leave you wondering if your marriage can work. Now what?

In this episode, Lynn, John, and Austin discuss the following patterns you can practice on your own and as a couple that can change the dynamic of your relationship:

On your own:

Have a funeral for your marriage
Pray and journal
Take the “Love Style” quiz
Get a support team
Evaluate your conflict patterns

As a couple:

Evaluate your conflict patterns
Practice a soft start up
Learn how to repair after conflict
Take a break when needed

This is hard work, and it won’t happen overnight. But if and when you, and your spouse, are able and willing (the key phrase!) to practice these together, we’re confident that you’ll be on the road to better and deeper connection.

Book recommendations: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage

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The Road to Divorce Pt. 1 Oct 30, 2024

Unfortunately, you can’t talk about how to make marriage work without acknowledging divorce. The prevalence of divorce means that everyone has some experience with it and has been negatively impacted when a marriage doesn’t work out.

Because divorce is so common, we think it’s worth slowing down to ask: What happened to the marriage? Why didn’t things work out? What were the steps that led to divorce? Could divorce have been prevented? How has the family (and children in particular) been affected by divorce?

In this episode, John, Lynn, and Austin discuss the following 3 topics regarding divorce:

What the Bible has to say about divorce
4 specific patterns that let you know you might be on the road toward a divorce
The tangible and harmful impacts that divorce can have on spouses and children

When you listen to this episode, you’ll be more equipped to evaluate the signs and symptoms that indicate your marriage may be in trouble. And once you do that, you can figure out if it’s possible to get off that road to divorce, which is the next episode! So stay tuned…

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Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce

BONUS EPISODE: "The Sex Talk You Never Got" with Sam Jolman Oct 25, 2024

Did you ever get “the talk?” Do you remember feeling encouraged and hopeful, or were you left feeling awkward, ashamed, confused and with more questions than answers?

Whatever you might have learned about sex when you were growing up, your view of sex has likely been shaped by our sexualized culture that reduces sex to body parts. At the same time, you also may have been influenced by a church culture that emphasizes “purity” as the sole focus of your spiritual maturity.

Yet both of these messages minimize or ignore the beauty and awe of sex that God intended for us to experience and can cause hurt and misunderstanding in marriage. For instance, men may view sex as something they need.And women may feel like they have to have sex with their husband so he won’t seek it somewhere else.

In this transparent conversation, Austin and John explore these topics with Sam Jolman, author of The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality. Sam lays out a captivating and beautiful view of sex and sexuality (especially for men) that we think will leave both men and women encouraged, equipped, and curious - all of which is needed to understand sex the way God intended it to be.

[Please note, this content is for adult ears only. We recognize that sex is an important, yet sensitive topic, and can bring up a wide range of emotions based on your personal experiences. We encourage you to listen at your own pace, giving yourself time to process as needed.]

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Let's Talk About Sex Oct 23, 2024

This episode might make you blush, it might make you cringe, and it might make you laugh! But if you want to make your marriage work, you’re going to have to address your sex life. Intrigued yet?

In this episode Austin and his wife Polly - yes Polly! - discuss:

3 things you NEED to know about sex
4 WRONG messages the enemy, the world, and your desires tell you about sex
Specific takeaways for husbands, for wives, and couples in general

We hope this episode helps you feel normalized, encouraged, and hopefully willing to address the topic of sex in your marriage wherever and however you need to.

[Please note, this content is for adult ears only. We recognize that sex is an important, yet sensitive topic, and can bring up a wide range of emotions based on your personal experiences. We encourage you to listen at your own pace, giving yourself time to process as needed.]

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

4 Habits of a Healthy Marriage Oct 16, 2024

Do you know which habits will make the most positive and lasting impact on your marriage? Although ideas about what makes marriage work change from one generation to another, there are evidence-based habits that characterize a healthy marriage.

In this episode, Shay and Lynn explore what toxic behaviors erode your relationships including criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt. Using Gottman Institute research and biblical wisdom, this conversation sheds light on why these attitudes and actions do so much harm to your marriage.

Then we discuss what 4 habits you’ll want to practice instead:

Giving and receiving regular feedback
Taking ownership
Managing your emotions
Cultivating humility and forgiveness

There are many benefits to implementing these 4 habits into all of your relationships, and it’s never too late to start! This is a practical episode that will offer concrete changes you can work on now to create a stronger bond with your partner as you navigate the challenges of marriage.

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How Kids Can Build Up and Break Down Your Marriage Oct 09, 2024

Kids might be the best, and worst, thing for a marriage! On the one hand, they’re a “blessing from the Lord” (Ps. 127:3) and Jesus himself said “let the little children come to me” (Mt. 19:14). But on the other hand, they’re loud, messy, needy, don’t listen, and can (unintentionally) create barriers between spouses.

Being aware of both the joys and hardships of parenting as well as the impact your kids may have on your marriage is an important first step to preventing a future breakdown.

In this episode Austin and Shay discuss the ways their kids have helped build up their own marriages. Then they acknowledge the following four ways that kids can break down marriage:

Create isolation
Create chronic stress
Create disconnection
Create anger, bitterness, and resentment towards your partner

The great news is that there are several things you can do to build up your marriage in the midst of parenting stress! Austin and Shay recommend the following four practices:

Plan regular date nights and getaways
Schedule “state of the union” meetings
Address “elephants”
Express appreciation

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Boundaries: The Key to Trust Oct 02, 2024

Trust is not secured or defined by the vows you make on your wedding day. Those are serious and important commitments, but they will be empty words if your behavior isn’t trustworthy over a long period of time.

Boundaries are so foundational to making marriage work, but they’re often associated with being mean or unloving. This conversation with John and Lynn highlights that without boundaries in marriage, you won’t know what your role is, you won’t be able to take responsibility for yourself, and you won’t be able to establish the deep bed of trust that God intended for your relationship.

Understanding the role of boundaries and how they build trust will help you diagnose growth points in yourself and in your marriage, and reinforce the need to protect the marriage covenant by becoming worthy of your spouse’s trust.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

When Two Histories Collide Sep 25, 2024

Have you considered that the recent argument you had with your spouse began long before you ever got married?

Walking down the aisle on your wedding day, you see the person that you love and are attracted to, but you may not realize that in that moment, two histories are colliding.

In effect, you are marrying your partner’s brain. This means that all of your (and their) previous experiences with love, closeness, connection, hurt, relational expectations and ways of seeking comfort are like pre-programmed software that you will both need to learn about. It also means that your history and everything that’s shaped you, is going to be operating in the background of all of your interactions.

The bottom line is that how you learned to love when you were growing up will be the way you love when you are married.

Using the 5 Love Styles from the book “How We Love” by Kay and Milan Yerkovich, Shay and Lynn discuss how each of these love styles developed in your childhood are impacting your relationship today. This enlightening conversation offers insight into the defensive patterns you might see in your marriage, and what to do when your two histories collide.

How We Love

Love Style Quiz

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How Do I REALLY Talk With My Spouse? Sep 18, 2024

When you’re hungry and ordering a hamburger at the drive thru, do you expect to have a deep, personal conversation with the person at the window? Probably not.

More likely, you’re hoping to find that deeper emotional connection in your marriage with your spouse. But that can be harder to do than you think!

In this episode, John and Austin explain that communication in marriage ranges from very shallow, to very deep. Most couples stay in the shallow end, afraid to take a deeper dive into emotional intimacy.

The reason why it’s so difficult to have deep, meaningful conversations with your spouse is that it requires honesty and openness that feels very vulnerable and requires safety and trust. It takes patience, persistence and intentionality to build this trust over many years of marriage.

However, we think that learning how to REALLY talk with your spouse is worth pursuing for several reasons:

Knowing and being known will change who you are.
Cultivating a lifelong friendship will help your marriage endure life’s challenges.
Deep emotional connection prepares you for a healthy sex life.
You have a confidant to share your hopes, dreams, fears and worries with.
With sustained emotional intimacy you can believe the best about your partner.

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Living in the Reality of Marriage Sep 11, 2024

Do you believe that all of your needs, longings and desires will be met when you get married? What might happen when your marriage falls short of your expectations?

While it’s normal to want the ideal marriage, living in a world that’s been infected by sin makes that impossible. If you’re not prepared for what marriage will be like with two flawed people, you may be disillusioned, disappointed and full of resentment when your relationship hits the “ordeal” of life.

In this episode, John and Lynn discuss what it means to live in the reality of marriage, which means that you will not have all of your expectations met, you will not get your way all the time, and you will need to learn to live with a certain measure of incompletion in your marriage.

Hiding, blaming, shaming and judging may characterize your marriage until you’re ready to accept the limits of your relationship and grieve the loss of the “ideal” and so you can live in the “real deal”. This conversation will help you see that living in an imperfect relationship requires humility and divine grace.

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Who Should I Marry? Sep 04, 2024

A commonly asked question is: “How do I know if I’m marrying the “right” person?”

As counselors, we’ve learned that the best way to help someone make the decision of who to marry is what we call: Informed Consent.

If you’ve ever bought a car, or had surgery, or signed a lease to an apartment, it’s likely that you only moved ahead with that decision after signing an agreement of “Informed Consent”. That means that you were given fair warning about the possible defects, side effects or pre-existing conditions before you agreed to move ahead with the decision. Having this information meant that you would have realistic expectations of the outcomes if you said “yes”.

Deciding who to marry is arguably one of the most important decisions you’ll make in life. So we think that the process of dating and engagement is a chance to obtain “Informed Consent”. That means that you are learning enough about the other person, and understanding their values, personality, dreams for the future, spiritual maturity and level of compatibility so that you know what you’re getting into when you get married.

In this episode, Austin and Lynn explain the purpose of dating, the 3 phases of the dating relationship, what to look for in a potential spouse, and red flags to be aware of as you consider whether or not to marry someone. The process of dating is your chance to learn as much as possible about the other person so you can visualize what marriage with this other person would be like. Although feelings of attraction are important, depth of character that’s demonstrated over a period of time is the best way to learn if your dating relationship is ready for marriage.

Bonus: Lynn shares the best dating advice she ever received, and it may completely change the way you see your dating relationship!

Book Recommendation:

Outdated: Find Love That Lasts When Dating Has Changed

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"Helping Students Move Forward" with Laura Verkamp, MEd Aug 28, 2024

As a high school counselor, Laura Verkamp’s job is anything but boring. Between helping her students fill out college applications, checking in with students who are struggling, or challenging kids to come out of their comfort zone, Laura's invested in equipping them to move forward in life.

Listen as Austin interviews Laura and asks about a “typical” day in the life of a school counselor (if there is one). Their discussion reveals what Laura sees as the top stressors in the lives of high school students today, and the unique ways that she equips them to keep moving forward even in the midst of challenges.

What brings Laura the most joy in her job is seeing her students grow. From the first day of school, to the last day of class, one thing is certain, kids are longing to learn, mature, and overcome the obstacles that may be in their way.

You will appreciate the insight Laura has into the life of a high school student, and learn that the thing she loves most about them is, well, they’re just really cool kids!

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What Are Men Longing For? Aug 21, 2024

The state of men in our culture is worse than ever in terms of loneliness, shame, and “purpose void”. How did we get here? And why do so many men avoid church?

In this enlightening conversation, Shay Roush and Kermit Summerall, Pastors of Crossing Men, discuss what men are longing for: the good, the bad and the ugly.

Shay and Kermit explain how many men feel trapped and defeated by the demands and pressures of life and are tempted to check out from reality and stop showing up where they’re needed most.

The good news is that men are starting to come out of isolation and build authentic relationships based on honesty and trust. Men are investing in each other’s lives and working side by side towards a common mission, using their strengths to serve others and show up in their families and communities.

Studies even show that Christian men who are actively involved in church are the best husbands, the best fathers, and experience the highest levels of happiness. This episode will challenge and encourage you as you hear about the powerful ways God is moving in the lives of Crossing Men as they follow Jesus together!

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Resources:

The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes by Nancy Pearcey

Podcast: The Aaron Renn Show - May 20, 2024 episode with Anthony Bradley - “Evangelicalism’s Man Problems”

What Are Women Longing For? Aug 14, 2024

Women are wearing more hats than ever: student, professional, friend, sister, mother, daughter, and everything in between. Slowing down long enough to consider what it is you really long for is an opportunity to connect with parts of your soul that need attention.

This conversation with Crossing Women director Jeannette Cover and counselor Lynn Roush is a chance to acknowledge that your longings for validation, affirmation, peace, confidence and hope are real and not going away.

This discussion also highlights that the encouragement we can offer each other as women is rare and hard to find. While our lives may look happy on the outside, many of us are carrying heavy burdens, and struggling to make sense of our current realities. In this episode you will learn how important it is to be honest about your thoughts and feelings so you can give and receive the encouragement you need to keep going in life.

That’s why we want to offer you a 30-Day Encouragement Challenge as a way to connect you to the life of God and the people you care about most in your life. While you may not always have your longings met, you can provide encouragement to your friends and family who are also on the journey of waiting, hoping and trusting in God's promises even when life is hard.

For practical ideas and ways to encourage others, download our FREE 30-Day Encouragement Challenge PDF at our website: withyouintheweeds.com, and start the challenge today!

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your favorite podcast player. Follow us on FB & IG @withyouintheweeds and subscribe to our weekly newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com for more free Christian Counseling resources.

What Are Mid-Lifers Longing For? Aug 07, 2024

Whatever control you believed you had over how your life would turn out is going to be challenged when you reach midlife. Also known as the “crunch” years, research on levels of happiness in midlife suggests that it can be the most dissatisfying life season.

Spanning the ages of 35-64, midlife is a time of raising and launching kids, reaching (or not reaching) your professional goals, defining your important relationships and watching your parents age. To say that midlife is a stressful time would be an understatement.

Many of the hopes and ideals that you believed would come true may be met with disillusion and disappointment when you realize that your life isn't turning out as you had planned. In midlife, your longing for control is overshadowed by powerlessness as you slowly lose friendships, manage health issues and experience the pain of regret.

The temptation in midlife is to checkout, numb, or avoid painful realities, while also pull away from close relationships. Yet there is much spiritual growth happening in midlife that is an opportunity for deep relational connection with God and others.

In this episode, Crossing Small Group directors Ryan and Kelley Wampler discuss with John the unique perspective that midlife brings, and the new longings that come when you realize that life is fleeting.

John, Kelley and Ryan share the most important thing you shouldn’t neglect during the business of midlife, as well as highlight the deep spiritual treasures that are in store when you surrender to God the things you can’t control.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow @withyouintheweeds on IG & FB for more great content!

What Are 20’s Longing For? Jul 31, 2024

The 20’s is a time of transition from college to adulting, requiring tenacity and adaptation. It is also a time of making big decisions about career, relationships and establishing yourself in the world. In your 20’s the weightiness of life is pressing in, while the sharp edges of reality are becoming more pronounced.

As “digital natives”, 20’s don’t know life apart from screens, social media, texting and the internet. Although more connected than ever, 20’s are finding that real and meaningful relationships are harder to come by. This makes dealing with the pressures and expectations of this season of life feel even more isolating and overwhelming.

Ever present is the lure of the “good life” as procured on social media: the best vacation, the most extravagant reveal party, the perfect latte…20’s are searching for the good things in life while often struggling to tolerate anything that challenges their ideals.

What may surprise you is that 20's are open, curious, teachable and hungry for authenticity, real community and practical wisdom for everyday life. That’s what makes this conversation with Lynn Roush and Crossing 20’s directors Nathan Tiemeyer and Colleen Luley so interesting.

As 20’s are coming of age, they’re finding out that the source of the good life doesn’t come from today’s digital landscape, but from the ancient teachings of Jesus who points to where true life is found.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow @withyouintheweeds on IG & FB for more great content!

What Are College Students Longing For? Jul 24, 2024

Whether you’re in college, work with, or are parenting a college student, this conversation with Austin, Kyle and Emilee will open your eyes as to why Gen Z is a generation worth investing in. Their curiosity and openness is evidence that God is doing something incredible in the lives of college students around the world.

Gen Z is known as the loneliest and least religious generation of all time. Plagued by anxiety and isolation, college students are facing unique pressures and are looking for the pieces to the puzzle of life.

Kyle Richter and Emilee McEnery, leaders of The Crossing college ministry, Veritas, see these obstacles as opportunities to introduce Gen Z to a relationship with Jesus and a chance to help them find their purpose in the world.

The takeaway? “Don’t sleep on Gen Z!”

If you want to learn more about college students, check out these resources - especially the article that Kyle and Emilee wrote for The Gospel Coalition.

Meet Gen Z

Gen Z’s Biggest Obstacles May Be Their Greatest Gospel Opportunities: Kyle Richter & Emilee McEnery

Find Your People

The Great DeChurching

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What is Professional NFL Cheerleader Caroline Sundvold Longing For? Jul 17, 2024

We were so excited to have Caroline Sundvold in the studio with us to share her story as part of our "What Are You Longing For" series!

If you’ve browsed Netflix recently, you might have noticed a docuseries called “America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders” at the top of the most-watched list. Featured in the documentary is Missouri’s own Caroline Sundvold, a DCC veteran who has since retired from the squad after five years.

In the docuseries, Caroline shares the difficulty of transitioning out of life as a DCC while recovering from surgery and figuring out her future. In this episode, Lynn talks with Caroline about her life during and after her cheerleading days, including overcoming health challenges, navigating the pressures of competition, and letting go of the burden to be ‘perfect’.

She also explains how listening to the With You in the Weeds podcast has been a source of insight and inspiration to her as she’s worked through disappointment, life transitions and processing her emotions.

You’ll be encouraged by Caroline’s honesty and authenticity as she shares how she takes care of her mental, emotional and spiritual health by pursuing her deepest longing: peace.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

What Are Teens Longing For? Jul 10, 2024

If you’ve been trying to read the mind of a teenager and still feel perplexed, today’s episode is for you!

Today we ask:

What does your teen really want?

What are some challenges and opportunities they are facing?

How can you love your teen when they push you away?

What can you do to encourage their growth?

Austin asks all of these questions and more to the co-directors of Crossing Students - Jeff Parrett and Anna West. You’ll learn that teens are asking deep questions about identity, belonging and purpose that can be a catalyst for great conversations. This episode is full of wisdom and resources from two talented people who work with teens every day, so we know you’ll be encouraged as you listen!

Book Recommendations:

3 Big Questions That Change Every Teenager

Parenting With Hope

Habits of the Household

The Worry Free Parent

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

"It's OK to Fall Apart" with Samantha Miller Jul 03, 2024

Childhood cancer forced Samantha to face reality at an early age, but working through the myriad of emotions that come with hardship has been an ongoing process in her life. Giving herself permission to fall apart and “not be ok” was just one thing she learned through counseling.

Battling cancer, infertility, infant loss and the journey of adoption are just a few elements of Samantha’s story that will open your heart. In this special episode with Austin, she vulnerably shares her struggle with resting in Jesus when she’s tempted to control everything around her.

If you’ve ever wondered, “should I go to counseling?”, this conversation will open up a whole new world for you. Not shying away from hard topics, Austin and Samantha discuss how counseling can be a way to work through life’s hardships, learn tools for healthy coping, and get comfortable with negative emotions.

To hear more from Samantha, find her podcast Going There, where she invites women to get away from shallow conversations and go deep into their friendships and relationship with God.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.

You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

Facing Addiction and Not Losing Faith Jun 26, 2024

“Addiction is about filling a hole in your heart.”

Have you considered that the underlying dynamics of addiction are driven by a relationship? A simple definition of addiction is: “An unhealthy, mood-altering relationship with a person, behavior or substance.” This relationship promises comfort and significance to fill the hole in your heart, but it always falls short.

This enlightening conversation with clinical therapist and author Michael John Cusick will invite you to understand addiction in a way that makes sense: Addiction is a form of false connection that serves as a substitute for the intimacy you were designed for.

Addiction involves your entire being: your body, mind and spirit. This conversation will help you understand that breaking free from an addiction is more than stopping an unhealthy behavior. Recovery involves creating a true and genuine connection with others where there are no more secrets, and where you can be known and loved for who you are.

This vision of the gospel message - that God pursues and loves you while you are in the middle of your messy life - is the grace that you need to open your hands and surrender yourself to a process of restoration.

You will be inspired and encouraged to reconsider what wholeness and healing means as you listen to John, Austin and Michael peel back the layers of addiction, grace, humility and recovery.

Restoring the Soul

Surfing for God

If you know someone who could benefit from this episode, please text it to a friend and let them know about With You in the Weeds!

Please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave us a positive review! Or message us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds to ask a question or suggest a topic. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com for more great content from our team of counselors.

Facing Politics and Not Losing Faith Jun 19, 2024

Does the current political climate make you want to bury your head in the sand? Whether you enjoy political debates or try to avoid politics altogether, we think you’ll appreciate this episode.

John and Shay offer a biblical view of the role of government and provide guidance on how to love others who you have political disagreements with. They also share how you can have hope, no matter which candidate wins the election.

Shay studied political science at the University of Missouri, and has enjoyed following and observing the ever-changing political landscape. His wisdom and informed perspective will encourage you to not lose faith as you navigate political conversations with grace.

If you know someone who could benefit from this episode, please text it to a friend and let them know about With You in the Weeds!

Please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave us a positive review! Or message us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds to ask a question or suggest a topic. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com for more great content from our team of counselors.

Facing Chronic Illness and Not Losing Faith Jun 12, 2024

Imagine that you’re in a tunnel and you don’t see a way out. Or maybe there isn’t a way out. What would that feel like?

If you are managing a chronic illness, or love someone who is, the feeling of being trapped in a tunnel may be all too familiar. Whether it’s chronic pain, autoimmune disease, recurrent migraines, cancer or some other life-altering illness that prevents you from living a “normal” life, you’re probably exhausted.

In this episode, John, Shay and Lynn share openly and personally about the impact of chronic illness on your mental and emotional health, as well as your relationships and spiritual life. The discouragement, depression and fear are powerful when you are in the tunnel, and we want to speak to these feelings and help guide you through the darkness.

If you can relate to this struggle, or know someone else who needs to be encouraged while battling difficult health circumstances, this episode was created just for you.

We would love to hear from you! Please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave us a positive review! Or message us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds to ask a question or suggest a topic. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com for more great content from our team of counselors.

Facing Church Hurt and Not Losing Faith Jun 05, 2024

Have the flaws and imperfections in the body of Christ become a stumbling block to your faith? Whether it's a church leader abusing their power, a congregation full of gossip, or a legalistic message that curdles your soul, a church can be a source of hurt just as easily as a source of healing.

In this special episode, Austin interviews author, pastor, and university professor Trevin Wax, to discuss the ways that being part of a church can be both a source of blessing and pain. For as many ways as fellowship with other believers can be life-giving, there is also an opportunity for hurt that can lead to distrust and rejection of the faith altogether.

This episode will both challenge and encourage you to think more deeply about why your role in a church matters, how powerful your personal influence is on the body of Christ, and how to process church hurt when it happens.

To hear more from Trevin Wax, check out his podcast Reconstructing Faith, or his books The Thrill of Orthodoxy and Rethink Yourself.

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Facing Betrayal and Not Losing Faith May 29, 2024

If you've experienced betrayal, then you know the pain and heartache that comes with it. Betrayal is a piercing wound that can cause you to never want to trust anyone again, even God.

John and Lynn discuss the impact that betrayal can have in the areas of:

- friendship

- marriage

- with a parent

- within a church

By naming the reality of this hurt, and using the Psalms as a guide, this conversation will give you the words you need to describe, explain and understand the pain of betrayal.

We hope you find comfort in knowing that your feelings are real, your hurt matters, and you are not alone in what you are experiencing. Even when betrayal leaves you feeling gutted, we want you to know that God acutely understands the pain you are in, and is near to your broken heart.

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Facing Suffering and Not Losing Faith May 22, 2024

When you're suffering and in pain, hope is something you wish would arrive like a package on your doorstep. But that's not actually how hope is formed.

In this special episode, John and Austin interview Christian psychiatrist Curt Thompson, MD, author of the book: "The Deepest Place: Suffering and the Formation of Hope".

This conversation will completely change the way you've thought about HOPE, and dispel the belief that forming hope is a solitary exercise.

Hope is not something that "I try to have", but something that "we form together" through the power of presence and relational connection. All of your efforts to manage the suffering of life are in some fashion designed to pull you into a relationship with someone, or something, that can be WITH YOU in the pain.

We are honored that Curt Thompson joined the WYITW team to share his love of psychology, interpersonal neurobiology and biblical scholarship!

We know you will be encouraged by Curt's insight, and will want to check out his books that have shaped our thinking as Christian therapists, as well as his podcast, Being Known.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/being-known-podcast/id1556261828

Anatomy of the Soul

The Soul of Shame

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Facing Fear and Not Losing Faith May 15, 2024

What are you most afraid of?

If you can honestly answer that question, then you are well on your way toward facing your fear.

There are many reasons why fear can be overwhelming, but how you handle fear will determine whether or not you stay stuck or keep growing. And understanding the biblical antidote to fear will help you not lose faith, even when your fear threatens to shut you down.

In this episode we want you to understand what's happening when fear gets activated in your body, and how you can manage the fears that you can't avoid.

Lynn and Austin discuss how fear affects you in the following four areas:

- Mentally

- Physically

- Emotionally

- Spiritually

Once you have an idea of how fear affects you, you can learn how to accept and acknowledge it rather than ignore and minimize it. After listening, you’ll be better equipped to not only determine what you are most afraid of and why, but you’ll be reminded where to take those fears.

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"Let's Reject Shame Together" with Travis Steward, LPC May 08, 2024

After working as a therapist in an inpatient treatment center for eating disorders, Travis Steward realized that rejecting shame with his clients was the way to break the pattern of a compulsive behavior.

In this installment of "Stories in the Weeds", Austin and Travis discuss what it takes to surrender self-destructive patterns and give up your personal strategies for making life work apart from God. Loosening your grip on habits that make you feel powerful and comfortable may feel impossible, but safe and trusting relationships are the pathway to finding freedom.

This interview with seasoned therapist Travis Steward will have you rethinking the ways you've learned to feel accomplished and valuable, and challenge you with a question:

"How will you get better without trusting God or others?"

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Bad Therapy v. Good Therapy May 01, 2024

"How do I know the difference between bad therapy and good therapy?" This listener wanted to know our hot take on the new book "Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up" by Abigail Shrier.

As counselors who believe in the power of the therapeutic relationship, we were curious to find out what this author had to say about therapy.

Some of the concerns Shrier raises are:

- the over diagnosing of children with mental health disorders

- therapeutic practices that have an unhelpful focus on feelings

- a growing lack of parental involvement that requires "experts" to treat children for normal life struggles.

Shrier's book addresses a potentially polarizing topic as she questions some of the prevailing practices and ideologies within therapy, particularly in regards to the impact on kids.

John, Lynn and Austin all weigh in on these concerns, talk about the role a therapist can play in a person's life, and distinguish the difference between bad therapy and good therapy.

Thankfully, good therapy - and good therapists - do exist! But we think you should read the book and be an informed parent on this important topic.

Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up by Abigail Shrier

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A Powerful Prayer Apr 26, 2024

We want to help you fight your spiritual battles with a powerful prayer!

Listen as Lynn Roush guides you through a prayer to cover your mind, body and heart.

Download your copy of this prayer at withyouintheweeds.com so you can use this written prayer as often as you need, and share it with a friend.

We are praying with you!

The WYITW Team:

John Tinnin, Mdiv, MFT

Lynn Roush, LPC

Shay Roush, Mdiv

Austin Conner, Mdiv, PLPC

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The Power to Fight Your Battles Apr 24, 2024

Do you want to pray but don't know what to say? "A Powerful Prayer" was written just for you based on our Fighting Your Spiritual Battles series! Go to withyouintheweeds.com for your copy of this prayer over your mind, body and heart.

In Ephesians 6:10 we are told to: "Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might". In this episode we want to address what you will need to stay strong as you fight your spiritual battles.

Knowing how this battle ultimately ends is the first step in standing firm against your enemy. Shay & Austin explain the outcome of this battle, and specifically describe what the Bible says about the future demise of Satan.

They also share the three primary sources of power that will help you stay strong in this battle:

- The power of prayer

- The power of people

- The power of the word

As we conclude this series we want to equip you with a practical resource to help you pray powerfully and effectively.

"A Powerful Prayer" is now available as a PDF at withyouintheweeds.com that you can download, print, use in your time of prayer, and share with others.

The Adversary by Mark Bubeck

Don't Give the Enemy a Seat at Your Table by Louie Giglio

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The Battle for Your Wounded Heart Apr 17, 2024

As counselors, we know that everyone is walking around with hurts, wounds, injuries, fears, losses, and traumas as a result of living under the curse of sin.

And whether you know it or not, or want to admit it or not, your heart has been wounded. Your story contains scenes of heartache and pain, and your sense of being loved by God has been disrupted in some way that is unique to you.

In this episode John & Lynn make the case that: unless you know the terrain of your story, and where you’ve been wounded, then you may be lost, confused, easily deceived, or helpless to resist the enemy’s tactics in your life.

We’d like to help you know the map of your heart, and how the enemy may already be playing on your vulnerabilities, so that you can become wise, discerning, and ultimately experience God’s love in a profound way as you learn how to intelligently fight your spiritual battles.

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com for an episode recap, free resources and book recommendations.

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The Battle for Your Body Apr 10, 2024

Your body is the "turf" on which your spiritual battles are fought, which means you can't escape this warfare no matter how hard you try.

Given this reality, it's no wonder that the enemy will take your natural and unavoidable physical appetites and use them to lure you towards one extreme or another: self-worship or self-contempt.

The design and complexity of your body declares the goodness, glory and beauty of God's image, so what you believe about your body will either empower or weaken you in your physical struggles.

In this episode, Lynn and Austin discuss the importance of having a biblical view of your body, and prescribe specific ways you can fight against the enemy that moves you towards befriending and stewarding your body in a way that glorifies God.

Recommended book:

Love Thy Body by Nancy Pearcey

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The Battle for Your Mind Apr 03, 2024

Are you aware of the doors in your mind that the enemy will try to open?

In this third episode of our "Fighting Your Spiritual Battles" series, John Tinnin and Shay Roush take a look at the two moves that the enemy uses to try and cut us off from God's love: Temptation and Accusation.

The battle for your mind is of utmost importance, as it is the primary force that drives all of your beliefs, emotions and actions, so this is an area where knowledge and discernment are critical.

When you learn the strategies of the enemy, and effective ways to push back on his tactics, you will be empowered to tackle this daily battle.

We hope this insight helps you maintain a "sound mind" that is continually renewed by the truth of God's word.

Recommended books on this subject:

The Deepest Place: Suffering and the Formation of Hope by Curt Thompson

God's Devil: The Incredible Story of How Satan's Rebellion Serves God's Purposes by Erwin Lutzer

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Where the Battle Began Mar 27, 2024

As Sun Tzu, the ancient Chinese military strategist states, "If you know the enemy and know yourself, your victory will not stand in doubt."

Knowing your enemy starts with understanding the origin of his name, the catastrophic decision he made, and his most effective tactics to deceive you.

In this second episode of our Fighting Your Spiritual Battles series Lynn Roush, LPC and Shay Roush, Mdiv will look back at the biblical account of where this battle began and the primary arenas where this battle takes place:

1. The Battle for Glory

2. The Battle for Humanity

3. The Battle for Authority

Once you see how this epic battle is playing out, you will be able to discern truth from error, understand how the devil serves God's purposes, and know the means by which he will experience the ultimate defeat.

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The Battle Hidden in Plain Sight Mar 20, 2024

We constantly hear our clients wrestling with whether or not God really loves them. Have you considered that there is a powerful force persistently working to pull you as far away from God's love as possible?

The Bible explains that there is an unseen, spiritual battle hidden in plain sight that directly impacts your daily life. The enemy, described as "the father of lies", likes to prey on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and sense of security.

The enemy will relentlessly go after your mind, your body and ultimately your wounded heart - with the intent to destroy your faith, your hope, and your ability to give and receive love.

John and Austin introduce this new series “Fighting Your Spiritual Battles” by unpacking what Jesus believed about this battle, how they’ve seen this battle personally and clinically, and the two foundational truths needed to keep perspective on this battle.

This series is designed to give you awareness of the unseen spiritual realm, where the battle began, how it works, who's in charge, and ultimately how to find strength and hope as you fight this battle.

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"I Was Lying to Myself" with Scotty Cox Mar 13, 2024

Every addiction revolves around the same lie: "I am in control."

In this edition of "Stories in the Weeds", Scotty shares how his successful radio career was threatened when alcohol took over his life.

Despite being on an award winning broadcasting team with prestigious trophies from the Academy of Country Music, Scotty's life was on hold until he finally broke through the illusion of control and faced the painful reality that he needed help to stop drinking.

Yet as difficult as it was, his personal journey to sobriety is something he would go through all over again because of the lessons he has learned.

The grip of addiction is not easily broken, but through community, honesty and humility, Scotty has learned that working hard at sobriety is his most rewarding accomplishment.

Listen as John, Shay & Scotty open up about alcohol, addiction, grace and hope in this candid interview.

You can hear Scotty each weekday morning with his friend Liz on “Liz & Scotty in the Morning” on Today’s Best Country Clear 99, in Columbia, MO.

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YQA V: Abusive Son-in-Law, Guilt Trips & ADHD Mar 06, 2024

You asked and we answered! We John, Lynn and Austin address these three listener questions:

1. How do I help my daughter in an abusive marriage? What about the grandkids?

2. How do I deal with a family member who tries to manipulate me with guilt trips?

3. How do I know if my child has ADHD? If they do, what steps can I take to help them?

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ADHD 2.0

The Blessings of a Healthy Christian Family Feb 28, 2024

In your experience, this term may feel like an oxymoron. But we believe that there are indeed blessings that come from cultivating and being a part of a healthy Christian family.

Since we live in a (western) culture where Christianity often gets a bad rap and is frequently the butt of jokes and unflattering caricatures, we thought it was worth slowing down and reflecting on the lasting impact that a healthy Christian family can have on future generations.

Austin, John, and Shay discuss specific Harvard research and evidence of the positive influence that healthy Christian families can have both personally and more broadly in society. They also identify the solid pieces that should make up the foundation of your family so that it's a refuge from the storms of life.

After listening you’ll have a better idea of what a healthy Christian family actually looks like. We know that these things are easy to say on a podcast, but much harder to do them in real life. That's why we want to remind you why it’s a worthy pursuit.

As we close our our Managing Your Dysfunctional Family series, we hope that you have new insight, practical tools and greater resolve to break the cycle of dysfunction in your family.

We would love to meet you at our Open House on Friday, March 1st! You can meet the team, enjoy a relaxing evening and be strengthened by a community of listeners that are seeing the benefit of this Christian mental health resource.

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds. If you liked this episode leave us a review to let us know!

Open House RSVP!

https://thecrossingchurch.com/Events/Detail?EventOccurrenceId=1333

Building Your Blended Family Feb 21, 2024

Have you ever been in a construction zone? It's messy and chaotic, and you can't wait for the project to be finished.

Building your blended family is a bit like being in an ongoing construction zone. The timeline is longer than you had predicted, and the progress you had hoped for seems to be at a standstill.

This episode covers the territory of the challenges that a blended family may face. If you are a child in a blended family, or in a remarriage yourself, you will want to listen as John and Lynn explain what this construction zone may look like and how to manage it.

Based on principles found in Ron Deal's book, The Smart Stepfamily Marriage, this insight will provide you with perspective and hope as you work towards building your blended family.

You're invited to our Open House on Friday, March 1st from 5-7 pm for a fun evening with John, Lynn, Shay & Austin. We'd love to meet you!

Open House RSVP!

https://thecrossingchurch.com/Events/Detail?EventOccurrenceId=1333

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds. If you liked this episode leave us a review to let us know!

Loving Your Prodigal Feb 14, 2024

The story of the prodigal son is the emotional journey of a child who has gone away, reached the bottom, and eventually returned to his father's loving embrace.

Yet many prodigal stories do not seem to carry the hope of reunification. If you love someone who has gone away but not yet returned, then the pain of loss that you feel is very real and runs very deep.

This episode explores a topic that may hit a nerve: what to do when someone you love is no longer in your life because they've walked away from a relationship with you.

Shay and Lynn discuss 6 principles from the book Reaching Your Prodigal by Phil Waldrep that can lead towards hope and healing as you love your prodigal.

Whether it's a child, family member or friend, this journey can be isolating and confusing, so we hope that you find comfort in these guiding principles.

Reaching Your Prodigal: What Did I Do Wrong? What Do I Do Now?

A Practical Guide for Praying Parents

You're invited to our Open House on Friday, March 1st from 5-7 pm for a fun evening with John, Lynn, Shay & Austin. We'd love to meet you!

Open House RSVP!

https://thecrossingchurch.com/Events/Detail?EventOccurrenceId=1333

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The Roots of Sibling Rivalry Feb 07, 2024

Before we dive into sibling relationships, we want to invite you to an Open House on Friday, March 1st for a fun evening with John, Lynn, Shay & Austin. We'd love to meet you!

Now here's a look at today's episode:

Difficult, strained or broken relationships among siblings are more common than you think. The root of these conflicts can seem elusive, but it's actually not a mystery.

If you've ever wondered, 'Why do they get that much of the inheritance?" or thought, "I’ll speak to her when she apologizes first" or decided, "I'm not going to Christmas at their house anymore", then this episode will pull back the curtain on the source of your sibling rivalry.

First, Shay, Lynn, and Austin discuss some external dynamics that create and continue sibling rivalries.

Second, they focus on the internal dynamics that fuel the rivalries (spoiler alert: it’s sin).

Finally, they end by offering practical and specific ways to manage your sibling rivalries in the here and now.

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds. If you liked this episode leave us a review to let us know!

Open House RSVP!

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Managing Your Difficult Mother Jan 31, 2024

Have you ever spoken honestly about your mom, only to wonder if she heard what you said, and worry what the consequences might be?

Over the years in counseling, we've noticed that your mom takes up a significant amount of real estate in your head. Whether it's things she has said or done, you may notice that your relationship with your mom has left a lasting impression on you for good or bad.

In this episode Lynn and Austin first address the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to mothers.

Recognizing how your mom may have hurt you seems like dangerous territory, but we will help you learn how to manage your difficult mother by:

1. Calling a spade a spade

2. Taking ownership for your healing

3. Setting boundaries

4. Grieving and forgiving

Mother's Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters

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Managing Your Difficult Father Jan 24, 2024

What role has your father played in shaping who you are today? It's an important question to ask yourself, especially if you have grown up with a difficult father.

This episodes explores "the good, the bad and the ugly" when it comes to fathering. There are dads with good intentions who aren't perfect, but there are also bad fathers whose actions hurt and wound their children in powerful ways.

In this episode, John Shay and Austin explore the difference between good fathers, bad fathers, and ugly fathers.

No matter what your relationship with your dad currently looks like, this discussion will provide you with insight that you may have never considered. If you're a dad yourself, this content will help you think through the legacy you will pass on to your own kids.

After listening you’ll realize that even if the wounds inflicted by your difficult father never fully heal, you can take intentional steps in your life that will bring growth, acceptance, and perspective.

The Toxic War on Masculinity by Nancy Pearcey

Father Hunger by Robert McGee

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If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content!

Breaking the Rules of a Dysfunctional Family Jan 17, 2024

You're ready to break free from hurtful patterns in your family, but where do you begin?

John, Lynn & Austin talk through 5 practical steps you can take to forge new patterns in your family:

F igure out what’s going on

O wn your own stuff

R ealistic expectations

G et help

E stablish healthy boundaries

Listen as they provide examples of each step and how these might look in your everyday experience. Taking these steps isn't easy, but is the path to freedom from destructive family dynamics.

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The 3 Rules of a Dysfunctional Family Jan 10, 2024

Do you feel frustrated, hurt or misunderstood in your family? Do you have family relationships that are strained or broken?

There may be some underlying forces at work in your family that you didn't even know were there.

The 3 rules that guide the interactions of a dysfunctional family are:

- Don't Talk

- Don't Trust

- Don't Feel

These rules may not be posted on the refrigerator for all to see, but they are actively at work behind the scenes.

This first episode in our new series Managing Your Dysfunctional Family is all about helping you make sense of rules you grew up with and how they've shaped the relationships in your family.

John Tinnin, Austin Conner and Lynn Roush explain these rules as outlined in the book "It Will Never Happen to Me" by Claudia Black.

Once you know the rules that govern your family, you can begin to break the generational cycles that may be keeping you stuck.

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Your Emotional Dashboard 2.0 Jan 03, 2024

Happy New Year!

We know that emotions tend to run high around the holidays, so we decided to recast our most popular episode, "Your Emotional Dashboard" because we've heard first hand how much this information has helped our listeners.

This episode contains the foundational principles for Managing Your Emotions, which is something that requires a lot of practice and needs to be rehearsed over and over again.

To follow along with this episode, we now have a FREE DOWNLOAD called Managing Your Emotions that you will find on our new website: withyouintheweeds.com.

This free Managing Your Emotions guide is a great companion as you listen to this episode, and it includes notes on all the other emotions we covered in the series: anxiety, depression, sadness, grief, anger, guilt and shame. It also has a user-friendly feeling word sheet that's great for parents, teachers, journaling and self-reflection.

Check out our new website withyouintheweeds.com and subscribe to our weekly newsletter so you can get podcast episode reminders, recaps, free resources and more!

Next week we will launch our new series Managing Your Dysfunctional Family that you won't want to miss.

The WYITW team is excited to help you manage the weeds of life in 2024, so stay tuned!

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@withyouintheweeds

"It's Hard to Say Scary Things" with Daniel & Alex Moore Dec 20, 2023

Hiring a financial advisor to help you make good investments for your future is praiseworthy and encouraged. So when your relationship is in trouble, why is seeking advice often looked down upon?

Daniel & Alex Moore knew their marriage was in trouble when they were arguing at 3:00am about "whose life is harder". Knowing that they were stuck in a bad pattern pushed them to take the plunge into marriage counseling.

What they found was that being honest about their struggles and learning to say scary things out loud was actually the first step to building a friendship that would last the test of time.

Stories in the Weeds is a real life look into how the process of how counseling can bring hope and relief when the pressures of life get overwhelming.

Life is messy, but having someone with you in the mess can make all the difference in the world.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

YQA IV: Logical Consequences, Sibling Rivalry & School Agendas Dec 13, 2023

This episode is about answering your questions on the topic of parenting!

The "Becoming a Whole Person" series addressed many aspects of parenting and child development, but these listener questions will go deeper in the weeds on the following topics:

1) Logical Consequences: What are they? How do I implement them? Ideas for teens?

2) Sibling Rivalry: What's normal? How do I manage it? Ideas to minimize it?

3) School Agendas: How should I navigate agendas in my child's school that conflict with my values?

John, Lynn & Shay walk through these questions to offer strategies and perspective on parenting through these challenges.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.

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What Every Parent Needs to Hear Dec 06, 2023

Many parents are imprisoned by the pressure to be perfect, and have all the right answers and responses.

But the reality is that every parent and caregiver makes mistakes and fails their kids.

John and Austin discuss the 4 biggest mistakes they see from parents:

1) Trying to control your kids

2) Ignoring your kids needs

3) Avoiding vulnerability & ownership

4) Inconsistency & unpredictability

Each of these mistakes brings misunderstanding, frustration and hurt. So what can you do instead?

Listen in to hear the 4 key responses you can provide in these areas that have the power to bring hope and healing to your relationship.

The main takeaway from this episode is that when you learn that you are flawed and still loved, that is a gift you can give your kids too. So be encouraged by what every parent needs to hear - "good enough parenting" is enough.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

What Every Parent Regrets the Most: True Confessions of Shay & Lynn Nov 29, 2023

Parenting can feel like walking blindfolded on a greased tightrope over a frightening chasm. Having firm anchoring points along the way can ease your fears and help you know how to take the next step.

Many parents fall off the tightrope by either "under" or "over" disciplining, which can strain relationships or cause future pain.

This "true confessions" episode with Austin, Shay and Lynn will encourage you to keep going on your parenting journey and keep you focused on where you want to go.

Reflecting on your parenting regrets isn't a fun exercise, but as Shay & Lynn confess the ways that they either "under" or "over" disciplined their kids, we hope you learn and grow as a parent.

The team also tackles the topic of spanking, so you won't want to miss this honest conversation.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

What Every Parent Can't Avoid Nov 22, 2023

You can ignore, dismiss, punish or try to fix emotions, but the reality is that they aren't going away.

Until you can become emotionally intelligent yourself, it will be difficult for you to give your child the one thing they need from you the most: your heart.

Relationships are built on emotional connection, but without modeling or instruction on how to identify and work with emotions, you may think that avoiding them is your only option.

John & Lynn directly address the question of how to engage with your child's emotions in a way that creates further connection and builds relational trust.

Using John & Julie Gottman's research on Emotion Coaching, John and Lynn offer a primer in how to coach yourself and your kids through the myriad of emotions that you can't avoid in life.

For more information on Emotion Coaching, check out The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

What Every Child Fears the Most Nov 15, 2023

It's easy to think that childhood fears are silly and irrational, but have you considered that there is a fear that drives both children and adults to behave or respond in extreme ways?

Maybe you get angry and react irrationally at an innocent comment.

Or you notice a child throw themselves to the floor when asked to do a simple task.

Or you have a co-worker sabotage your team project when they don't get the recognition they think they deserve.

Listen as Lynn, Shay and Austin discuss an underlying fear that hides beneath the surface of many problematic behaviors - the fear of abandonment and losing connection.

After listening you’ll get an idea of what feeds this fear, what calms this fear and how you can manage this fear in your own life and as a parent.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

What Every Child Needs to Know Pt. 2 Nov 08, 2023

The 2 core questions that you are asking in every stage of development are:

Am I loved?

Can I be free?

This episode explores the 2nd question: "Can I be free?"

The heart behind this question is wondering if you can be your own person, be independent, and be your own authority.

When you begin to notice how this question presents itself, you'll have a better understanding of what drives you as an adult, as well as what drives the heart of your child.

Parents are helping children build an internal "freedom" container which creates independence because we were created for autonomy with the ability to make our own meaningful choices.

Yet true freedom happens within limits. Both adults and kids need to understand what those limits are in order to exercise impulse control and delayed gratification which builds wisdom and character.

Join John, Lynn & Shay as they address the importance of answering this core question as you work towards Becoming a Whole Person.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

What Every Child Needs to Know Pt. 1 Nov 01, 2023

Everyone is looking for the answer to these two questions:

Am I loved?

Can I be free?

It may sound simple, but these two core questions are a driving force in every child's psychological and emotional development.

So what does a child need from a parent to know the answer to the question: "Am I loved?"

John, Shay and Lynn will get specific about how parents can help their child build a strong internal "love container" that will help them move through life with confidence.

They also discuss the implications of not having this question answered, and how that impacts a person even in adulthood.

Stay tuned to this Becoming a Whole Person series, so that you can learn the basic ingredients everyone needs to continue growing in maturity and wisdom.

Books recommendations:

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker, M.D.

Boys Should Be Boys by Meg Meeker, M.D.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

What Every Child Needs to Grow Oct 25, 2023

This episode launches our new series: Becoming a Whole Person.

You are on a growth journey towards becoming a whole person, no matter how old you are. In fact, you never stop growing!

All children need basic ingredients to grow, and these are actually the same ingredients that you need to keep growing as an adult.

In this episode, John, Lynn and Austin discuss two key ingredients for growth: Love and Limits. As you listen, you will discover:

- What are love and limits

- How the presence (or absence) of love and limits impacts growth for kids and adults

- Practical takeaways for parents to help their child keep growing towards becoming a whole person

So whether you are a parent, ministry leader, young professional, mentor, teacher, or you’re just wanting to know for yourself how to stay on a growth path to becoming a whole person, this series is going to offer you the nuts and bolts of what it takes to develop along the way.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

"I Didn't Know How to Grieve" with James Bachman Oct 18, 2023

One of the most beneficial aspects of counseling is taking the time to reflect on the story of your life.

In this new pop-up series called "Stories in the Weeds", Austin Conner interviews James Bachman as he recalls how he initially believed that grieving was only necessary after a huge loss in life, like the death of his father.

But what James came to understand as he worked through his story, is that both big and small losses need to be grieved, or you will stay stuck.

The WYITW team believes that your unique and complex story holds powerful insights waiting to be explored.

As you listen to how counseling gave James a new perspective on life and helped him grow as a person, we hope you are inspired to dig deeper into your own story.

Be looking for more "Stories in the Weeds" in the future, so you can be a fly on the wall and listen in to how and why counseling can be an effective tool to substantial transformation.

Your Questions Answered III Oct 11, 2023

We enjoy answering questions submitted by our listeners, and these 2 questions have John and Austin jumping in the deep end as they address questions about marriage and pornography.

1. Marriage: "At the heart of most of our marital conflicts it seems as though my spouse expects me to meet their needs that I cannot meet. How do I handle that?"

2. Pornography: "What advice would you give to someone who is addicted to pornography? This has been a struggle of mine for such a long time. I know why it’s a problem and want to stop, but I can’t seem to get any long term freedom from it.”

John and Austin's answers to these questions may surprise, challenge and encourage you. This episode provides clarity on how to manage seemingly unresolvable conflicts in marriage, as well as some concrete steps to manage pornography use and addiction.

Are you enjoying the WYITW podcast? We'd love it if you would leave us a rating and review on your podcast app. And tell your friends about us!

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

All That's Lost Will Be Restored Oct 04, 2023

What happens after you die?

Where will heaven be?

What will you do in heaven?

Whether you know it or not, your beliefs about heaven impact your current perspective. And without a biblically informed understanding of heaven, you may be prone to adopting a narrative about what happens after death that is inaccurate.

What Shay & Austin explain in this episode is that ultimately, heaven is relational. Meaning, heaven is where you will be fully known and fully loved, enjoying perfect community with Jesus and those you have loved and known here on earth.

Once you come to understand the significance of how Jesus will make all things new, and wipe away every tear from your eyes, your present sufferings and hardships will not feel so hopeless.

Listen as Shay and Austin give a vision for heaven that will tap into your deepest longing for all things lost to be restored.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

The Father You've Always Longed For Sep 27, 2023

If this title hits a nerve, you’re in good company because everyone has some sort of internal emotional response when they think of their father, good or bad. But we’re talking about it because we’re all children with a built-in longing to connect with our father.

And given that no one has had a perfect human father, it's hard for us to imagine God as our Heavenly Father being as good as the Bible tells us he is.

In this episode Lynn, John, and Austin discuss what spiritual adoption is and the implications it has in our lives when we relate to God as our Father:

Spiritual adoption means our debts are canceled.

Spiritual adoption means God feels compassion and tenderness towards us.

Spiritual adoption means it’s possible to reshape our father filter.

Being Grounded in Grace includes embracing your identity as a child of God, so you don't want to miss this compelling conversation.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Surviving the Silence of God Sep 20, 2023

Does it ever feel like you’re calling God and he’s just not picking up? Have you ever believed God loves you in your head, but not in your heart?

Has this head/heart gap lasted a long time, felt hopeless, or caused feelings of guilt and despair? If so, you might actually be right where God wants you.

In this episode John, Shay, and Austin discuss the specifics of what the “silence of God” is, relate stories and scriptures about when God feels distant and describe experiences of dark nights of the soul.

This stage of your spiritual growth may feel like a desert, the wilderness or a valley and you may wonder how you will survive this painful season.

But we want to encourage you that there may be more happening behind the scenes even when God seems unresponsive to your pain.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Why You Are Not Where You Want to Be Sep 13, 2023

As counselors, we are often asked by clients these perplexing questions: "Why do I do what I don't want to do? Why am I not further along in my spiritual growth? Will I ever be free from this besetting sin?"

These questions immediately get to the heart of the internal battle we all face when it comes to the topic of indwelling sin and what growth looks like in the life of a Christian.

John, Lynn, and Austin discuss the parasitic nature of sin and how it imbeds and expresses itself in our hearts and infects our relationships, often leading to various forms of destruction.

But Jesus has overcome the power of sin and is committed to beginning and empowering your growth (a process called sanctification) which can be characterized by staying, growing, and responding.

When you’re done with this episode you’ll get clarity on why the struggle is so hard and renewed hope the next time you find yourself doing what you don’t want to do.

Are you enjoying the WYITW podcast? We'd love it if you would leave us a rating and review on your podcast app. And tell your friends about us!

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Do You Feel Like a Spiritual Imposter? Sep 06, 2023

Have you noticed that we live in a world where you are judged by your performance?

Your sense of purpose, identity and value seems to hang on the balance of how well you perform in school, at work, as a parent and even as a Christian. But what happens when you realize you can’t measure up, no matter how hard you try?

Pastor Erwin Lutzer joins Lynn Roush & Shay Roush on this second episode in our Grounded in Grace series, where they discuss the self-doubt, fear of failure and insecurities that exhaust and paralyze you when trying to perform your way into love and acceptance.

What if you could depend on someone else’s perfect performance and rest in the fact that someone else has done everything necessary for you to be safe, secure and accepted? This powerful teaching of justification might be the most unbelieveable part of the gospel message.

Listen in so that you can be anchored and rooted in God’s grace and not feel like a spiritual imposter!

Are you enjoying the WYITW podcast? We'd love it if you would leave us a rating and review on your podcast app. And tell your friends about us!

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Jesus is With You in the Weeds Aug 30, 2023

This episode kicks off a new series called Grounded in Grace where we will explore several key theological truths that we need to understand and cling to in the weeds of life.

We kick things off with the most foundational truth of all - The Gospel. But what does that even mean? And what implications will it have in your life?

John, Shay and Austin discuss the heart of the gospel message: that God sent Jesus to be in the weeds with you. This profound truth changes everything and impacts every area of your life:

The gospel changes your identity

The gospel changes your purpose

The gospel provides divine power for change and internal transformation

The gospel of grace is at the heart of Soul Care, so we are excited about this new series!

Are you enjoying the WYITW podcast? We'd love it if you would leave us a rating and review on your podcast app. And tell your friends about us!

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Your Questions Answered II Aug 23, 2023

This is our second installment of answering YOUR questions!

The WYITW team tackles 2 listener questions in this episode:

1. What therapeutic concept has been most eye-opening and helpful to you as a counselor?

2. As a single person in the church, I struggle to figure out where I fit in. How do I deal with being single when I feel overlooked?

John, Shay, Lynn & Austin have a spirited round table discussion on these excellent questions as they share what they have learned from their experiences in ministry and counseling.

We invite you to send us YOUR questions via email at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com or find us on Instagram or Facebook @withyouintheweeds, and message your question to our team.

Nothing Can Disqualify You From God's Love Aug 16, 2023

Perhaps you know this in your mind, but actually believing it in your heart is a different story. John, Shay, and Austin set out to help close this gap between your head and your heart.

They discuss the following 3 important biblical truths that you need to remember:

1. God's heart is for the sexually broken.

2. The gospel says that you are simultaneously far more broken than you know, and yet far more loved than you can imagine. This powerful truth redeems, restores, and reminds us of our God-given dignity and value.

3. The promise of Romans 8:38-39 - Nothing can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus.

They also discuss 3 practical ways to “clear the runway” of your life in order for those biblical truths to land:

First, learn the relational equation: honesty + vulnerability = connection.

Second, prepare for a marathon, not a 100 yard dash.

Third, your actions may have painful consequences but God's enduring love for you remains unchanged.

Our hope is that after listening you will be able to believe, even just a little bit more, that sexual brokenness does NOT disqualify you from God’s love.

If you want to read more on this topic, check out the following books:

"Surfing for God" by Michael John Cusick

"Unwanted" by Jay Stringer

"On The Threshold of Hope" by Diane Langberg

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

"Sexual Brokenness Disqualifies You From God's Love" Aug 09, 2023

Have you ever believed this about yourself? We know that this bad, false belief is pervasive and often reinforced by feelings of self-loathing and self-condemnation. That's why the With You in the Weeds team decided to tackle it head on.

Lynn, John, and Austin address what might be one of the most heavy, messy, and complex FALSE beliefs in the entire series "Beliefs That Keep You Stuck". They define “sexual brokenness” and unpack the progression of intimate bonding and the powerful impact it has on your body and soul.

This episode highlights 3 crucial principles you need to be aware of when it comes to the process of sexual bonding and relational attachment that may shed light on why this struggle feels so hard.

Our hope is that as we tackle this false belief, the burdens you may carry related to this topic would be a bit lighter and that you have a better understanding of how this false belief is impacting you.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

"Shoulds" Hurt More Than Help Aug 02, 2023

We know it’s counterintuitive, but it’s true. "Shoulding" yourself into being a better person neglects the most important ingredient we need to grow: grace.

John, Shay, and Lynn share why it’s hard to believe this is true and discuss the proper place “shoulds” have in the Christian life.

When you’re done with the episode you’ll know how important it is to:

-Focus on trusting God instead of pleasing God

-Use discernment when you see “shoulds” controlling your life

-Begin saying “I wish” instead of “I should”

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

"'Shoulds' Are Good For You" Jul 26, 2023

"I should read my bible more"

"I should get in shape"

"I should be more successful in my job"

"I should be a better friend/parent/Christian, etc"

Is your thought life full of all the things you "should" be doing? When you "should" on yourself, does it help you change, grow or do better?

So many people live under the heavy burden of things they "should" be doing, but then feel discouraged, ashamed or disappointed when they can't live up to their own standards.

John, Lynn, and Shay discuss the following 4 areas of life where we most often experience "shoulds" and explore why we believe them:

- Religious "shoulds"

- Vocational "shoulds"

- Marriage "shoulds"

- Parenting "shoulds"

When you’re finished, you’ll have a better idea of which “shoulds” plague you and how this belief might be keeping you stuck.

Identifying this false belief is the starting point to getting unstuck and moving towards a better belief.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Obeying God Includes Suffering Jul 19, 2023

This statement may be hard to accept, but without a biblically accurate view of suffering, not only will you feel stuck, but you may also hurt yourself and mislead others, leading to despair and giving up on God.

John, Shay, and Austin explain how a better, more accurate belief is that: “Obeying God Includes Suffering.” When you come to understand the reason why this is true, you will find greater degrees of acceptance, healing, and comfort in the midst of your suffering.

Suffering is always painful and never easy, but embracing these 3 realities can make a difference in your life:

1) You will suffer in this life, but Jesus is with you in the midst of that suffering.

2) Managing your suffering includes being honest, being in community and keeping Scripture in mind.

3) Growth can happen when you suffer: you can grow in resilience, character, compassion, and knowledge of God.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

"If You Obey God, You Won't Suffer" Jul 12, 2023

Do you believe that following God, praying and having strong faith will buy you an insurance policy against suffering? This false belief is often clung to as a way to feel in control when life feels chaotic and unpredictable.

The problem with this belief is that it breeds disappointment, resentment and disillusionment when you encounter trials and suffering that don't make sense.

John, Lynn, and Shay explain more about where you may have picked up this belief, why it's so tempting to believe, and how it may be keeping you stuck.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, text this episode to a friend, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Your Past Matters More Than Anything Else Jul 05, 2023

Despite what you may think, understanding your past matters a great deal, and may have more impact on your personal growth than anything else.

Lynn, Shay, and Austin walk through the biblical foundations of why your past matters, explain the neurological nuts and bolts of how your past shows up in your present, and then give the following practical steps to explore your past:

- create a timeline of events

- acknowledge both positive and painful memories

- identify and grieve the losses

- confess and repent

The power to get unstuck lies with you. If and when you can examine your past, you will be on the road to healing from hurts and grow in your ability to manage your present.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

"Your Past Doesn't Matter" Jun 28, 2023

You’re in good company if you believe this. Seriously, why would you want to think or talk about something in your past that's painful?

Maybe you hold to this belief because you think it’s counter-productive to talk about something that you can't go back and change. Maybe you think that looking at your past might open a can of worms that you're not ready to deal with. Or you’re simply just not sure where to begin.

Austin and Lynn explain why this common belief exists, why it keeps you stuck, and what the negative consequences are of maintaining this belief in the following areas:

-Marriage

-Parenting

-Jobs

-Student Life

If you want to get unstuck, the first step is to identify why you've ignored your past and consider what it will take to move forward.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

It's Godly to Get Your Needs Met Jun 21, 2023

We all have needs, desires and longings, and Jesus was no exception. If you’re wondering why it’s godly to get your needs met, you can look to Jesus as your example.

John and Austin unpack this counterintuitive belief by examining where and how Jesus met his own needs, and how he handled his longings and desires.

Then they explore the deeper reason as to why you can't avoid your needs, desires, and longings no matter how hard you try. They also discuss some distorted views and false messages to watch out for and offer specific ways you can get needs met in a healthy, God-honoring way.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

"It's Selfish to Get Your Needs Met" Jun 14, 2023

Is there a more shameful pronouncement of judgment for a Christian than being "selfish"? Taking care of yourself is definitely a source of confusion for people, and trying to get your needs met tends to get a bad wrap in the church.

Bible passages that reference "dying to yourself” and “losing your life in order to save it” may bring your efforts to take care of yourself to a screeching halt and leave you feeling exhausted, burdened and disconnected.

Is it possible that this belief is keeping you stuck and preventing necessary growth in your life? Maybe these passages of Scripture need to be understood in a broader context.

Austin and John unpack and define the human experience of having needs, desires, and longings. They explore why these are inherently good, how they’ve been infected by the sin virus, and what that means for you in your daily life.

If you want a more nuanced and freeing view of your needs, desires, and longings, you won’t want to miss this episode.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Your Questions Answered Jun 07, 2023

Today is all about answering YOUR questions!

Join the entire With You In The Weeds team to hear their answers to the following 4 questions that our listeners asked…

1. What is a biblical perspective on the use of medication for anxiety, depression or other mental health disorders?

2. What does the Bible say about divorce?

3. How do I deal with an emotionally immature parent?

4. How do I navigate a conflict with my spouse over a deeply rooted desire that my spouse doesn’t share?

You don't want to miss John, Lynn, Austin & Shay weigh in on these topics!

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Relationship Red Flags May 31, 2023

The best way to protect yourself from a destructive relationship is to avoid entering it in the first place.

But red flags in a relationship may be not be obvious to you once you're attached and emotionally invested in someone, so it may require other people helping you see what you can't see on your own.

Angie Phillips, co-host of "Blended, Blessed and Always a Mess", joins Lynn Roush to discuss the Red Flags that should be warning signs to anyone in a relationship. Angie's daughter, Hallie, was caught in an unhealthy relationship that ultimately took her life due to gross firearm negligence.

Angie's TikTok @halliebears.mom went viral when she posted a video on "Relationship Red Flags" shortly after the tragic death of her 20 year-old daughter Hallie, and she is now passionate about spreading awareness on this topic in hopes of helping others.

Recognizing these red flags could quite literally save your life, so you don't want to miss this interview. Please share it with someone who needs this information.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Managing the Weeds of an Unrepentant Heart May 24, 2023

Let’s be honest - managing relationships with unrepentant people is REALLY hard. It might be one of the most difficult things you’ll have to do. And yet, it can be done by seeing this person with a 3D biblical perspective, not a 2D human perspective.

John, Lynn, and Austin explain this distinction and then provide the following practical steps to take in managing an unrepentant person:

- Invite them to change

- Mirror their behaviors

- Implement consequences

- Practice healthy detachment, aka love them from a distance

At the end of the day you need to remember that true repentance takes time, is extremely rare, and is only possible to achieve by God's grace.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

The Roots of an Unrepentant Heart May 17, 2023

Are you dealing with an unrepentant person? How would you know if you are? John, Shay, and Austin get to the root of an unrepentant heart and it's not a pretty picture.

This episode will help you identify the signs of an unrepentant person such as denial and deflection, and explain why a hardened heart is so difficult to deal with.

They also speak personally as to why we resist repentance, and how an unrepentant heart lies at the root of hurtful relationships.

When you finish this episode you’ll be better equipped to identify an unrepentant person, as well as be on the lookout for signs of unrepentance in your own heart.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Managing the Weeds of Difficult In-Laws May 10, 2023

Do you have a toxic in-law situation on your hands? Many families experience stress, broken relationships and years of hurt feelings or misunderstandings. You may even dread family gatherings due to difficult in-laws. This common problem requires diligence in boundary-setting and clarifying roles and expectations, but where do you start?

Shay, Lynn and John talk about real life scenarios that address your in-law concerns and offer practical suggestions on how to separate from your parents in healthy ways, while still honoring them.

The key is to have a unified front when dealing with difficult in-laws, and this discussion will help you and your partner get on the same page so you can make effective changes towards healthy in-law relationships.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

The Roots of Difficult In-Laws May 03, 2023

How well do you get along with your in-laws? This is a touchy subject for many families, as friction or tension with in-law relationships is very common, but hard to navigate.

The root of in-law trouble can be traced back to a failure to “leave and cleave”, but this ancient biblical mandate is easier said than done.

Most people enter marriage thinking that their partner will always put them first, or that in-law relationships will improve over time, but it doesn’t take long for conflict or division to emerge.

Shay, Lynn and John have a lively conversation about what it actually means to leave your parents physically, emotionally, financially and psychologically, and identify the problems that occur when this fails to happen.

This episode will help you pay attention to the ways you have, or have not, been able to leave and cleave, and where it may be causing trouble in your in-law relationships.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Resources

Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage by Susan Forward

Managing the Weeds of Narcissism Apr 26, 2023

With many families, marriages and churches being fractured by narcissistic personalities, the With You in the Weeds team invites notable author and bible teacher, Pastor Erwin Lutzer, to address this difficult topic.

Lynn Roush, LPC and Pastor Lutzer have a very honest conversation about the damage done in relationships because of this hurtful personality style.

They also address how to protect yourself from narcissistic abuse through practicing discernment, danger assessment, healthy detachment, healing from dissonance, and becoming a whole person, so you don't want to miss this discussion.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Resources

Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores by Diane Langberg

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick

The First Will Be Last: A Biblical Perspective on Narcissism by DC Robertsson

The Roots of Narcissism Apr 19, 2023

Do you feel confused, manipulated or controlled in a relationship? Are you looking for spiritual and psychological insight into the complex and painful roots of narcissism?

Lynn Roush, LPC and Pastor Erwin Lutzer address the origins of narcissism from a psychological and biblical perspective that provide clarity and crucial information if you find yourself entangled with a difficult person in your life.

They discuss the 5 traits of a narcissistic personality, as well as the 5 stages of bonding in a relationship with a narcissistic person which are:

1. Decide on a target and declare love

2. Devalue the person

3. Deploy defense mechanisms

4. Create dissonance and confusion

5. Destroy the person’s sense of Self

Resources

Buy The Power of a Clear Conscience Book

Buy the Why Good People Do Bad Things Book

Our guest, Pastor Erwin Lutzer, is best known for his 37 years of pastoring the Moody Church in Chicago, and has authored over 50 books including "Why Good People Do Bad Things" and "The Power of a Clear Conscience". His preaching is heard around the world through his radio program, “Running to Win”.

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Nurturing Healthy Relationships Apr 12, 2023

It’s easy to identify what kills a relationship, but much harder to know what ingredients you need to nurture a healthy relationship. John, Lynn, and Austin explain and discuss the 4 Relationship Builders:

1. Practice a gentle start up, instead of criticism.

2. Build a culture of appreciation, instead of contempt.

3. Take ownership of your part in a conflict, instead of getting defensive.

4. Stay engaged, instead of stonewalling.

These aren’t pie in the sky sentiments, but instead are solidly researched and biblically based practices that have proven to build relationships.

Listen in if you want to begin, and continue, the hard but worthwhile work of building your relationships. When you do, over time you’ll see the fruit of creating Jesus’ kingdom here on earth as he calls us to be kind and tender-hearted towards each other.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Weeds that Kill Relationships Apr 05, 2023

Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling. These are bad enough on their own, but mix them together and you have a cocktail that will kill any relationship.

This episode is simple: John, Lynn, and Austin give you a mirror to look in and ask yourself, “where are these killers showing up in my relationships?” Afterwards you’ll be able to name, identify, and describe them, which is the first step to change.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Managing the Weeds of Forgiveness Mar 29, 2023

If bitterness stops the clock of your life, then forgiveness starts it up again. But what is forgiveness, and what does this mean for you?

John, Shay and Austin discuss:

1. What forgiveness is NOT

2. What forgiveness IS

3. The hard realities of forgiveness

4. The costs and benefits of forgiveness

Entering a process of forgiveness is never easy, but this discussion will replace flimsy imitations of forgiveness with a picture of the real thing. Learning these principles will normalize how hard it is to forgive, while explaining how freeing it can be.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

The Roots of Bitterness Mar 22, 2023

“Bitterness stops the clock of your life.”

Do you know a bitter person? If you do then you’ve seen and felt how they are stuck in their anger, resentment, and inability to move beyond hurts and slights from their past.

This person couldn’t be you, could it?

Listen in as John, Austin, and Shay discuss:

- What bitterness is: Hardened, settled anger and resentment

- Where it shows up: In your relationships with others and with God

- The causes of bitterness: Hurtful relational circumstances AND powerful spiritual forces

- The problems it causes: Blinds, Baits, Burdens, Bleeds over, and Belittles God’s grace

If you feel stuck in bitterness and you want to restart the clock of your life, this is the episode for you.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Managing the Weeds of Toxic Relationships Mar 15, 2023

If you want to manage a toxic relationship you’re going to need to break some rules, three in particular:

1. Wait for things to get better

2. Try to change the other person

3. Love people unconditionally

If you don’t break these rules then you won’t mature and grow in character, you’ll blame others for things that are your responsibility, you will stay reactive instead of proactive, or you’ll jump from one toxic relationship to another.

What you’ll need to do instead is face reality and enter into a growth process, work on changing yourself, and love with limits, boundaries, and consequences.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

The Roots of Toxic Relationships Mar 08, 2023

Who you surround yourself with shapes who you will become. If you want to avoid becoming a toxic person in a hurtful relationship, you’ll want to listen as John and Lynn define and explain the 5 symptoms of toxic relationships:

- Harmful words

- Selfish ambition/pride

- Envy

- Manipulation

- Deceit

When you can recognize these 5 symptoms, not only will you be able to avoid them in your relationships, with God’s help you can prevent them in yourself.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Managing the Weeds of Broken Trust Mar 01, 2023

Broken trust hurts, but it can be rebuilt. Lynn, Shay, and Austin walk through 5 concrete steps to take when you’ve had trust broken in a relationship:

T - Take a step back

R - Reflect on who you’re dealing with

U - Understand the impact

S - Set boundaries

T - Test over time

If these steps seem daunting, then you’re in good company because most of us didn’t have this modeled when we were growing up. But it’s never too late to learn something new.

Practicing and implementing these 5 steps in your life will slowly but surely add marbles back into your relational jar of trust.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

The Roots of Broken Trust Feb 22, 2023

Trust is the energy that creates and maintains healthy relationships. Without it, your relationships cannot thrive or survive.

Lynn, Shay, and Austin dig deeper into what trust actually is, how it’s built and broken, and the damage broken trust causes in friendships, marriages, jobs and families.

If you’re hurting because of broken trust, this episode will normalize your pain and give perspective and explanations as to why this feels so gut-wrenching.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Managing the Weeds of Conflict Feb 15, 2023

You want to be at peace with everyone, but can every conflict be resolved? Maybe not, but there are 4 key commitments you can make to help you manage conflict in your life.

John and Shay explain these 4 commitments and how to apply them in practical ways:

1. Take ownership

2. Practice discernment

3. Set boundaries

4. Persevere

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

The Roots of Conflict Feb 08, 2023

Why are you in conflict? It’s really simple: you want something. And when you don't get what you want, or your desires are at odds with someone else's, you're in conflict before you know it.

John and Austin discuss 4 questions you need to answer if you want to get to the root conflict in your life:

1. What type of person are you in conflict with? Figuring this out will determine how you approach resolution, or if resolution is even possible.

2. What is this conflict about? Dig below the surface to the deeper issue.

3. How are you engaging in this conflict? Most likely you're either pursuing, attacking or triangulating.

4. How is this conflict impacting you? Being aware of the physiological, emotional and spiritual elements of conflict will enable you to manage it.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Managing the Weeds of Shame Feb 01, 2023

Shame says, "You're disqualified from being loved." But your connection with Jesus means that you are eternally loved, and nothing can separate you from that love.

So how should you respond to the shame signal when it shows up?

John, Lynn, and Austin explain how we need both connection & correction in order to manage our shame. Learn how this critical framework offers an antidote to the painful experience of shame.

Did you find this episode helpful? Then text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

The Roots of Shame Jan 25, 2023

Did you know that shame is more than just a painful emotion that affects your self-perception and self-worth? It's an infection of the soul. Yet it's so subtle that it may be hard to recognize. Lynn, John, and Austin explain 5 characteristics of shame to help you learn where and how it may be impacting you:

S - Shame is Sneaky

H - Shame makes us Hide

A - Shame Attacks our personhood

M - Shame Magnifies our weaknesses & failures

E - Shame Erodes everything

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

The Roots & Weeds of Guilt Jan 18, 2023

There are many Christians who believe that we need guilty feelings and a punishing conscience to help us grow and keep us from sinning. But this is a direct product of our tendency to perform under the law, and is the opposite of what the Bible teaches.

Our guilty feelings need to be put under the laser beam of the gospel and analyzed by our Father who loves us. Our conscience may condemn us, and we need to be reminded that nothing can ever separate us from God's love.

John and Shay will help you navigate what to do with a guilty conscience and how to bring guilty feelings into the light of God's truth.

Did you find this episode helpful? Text and share it with a friend and leave us a rating or review! Follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds and let us know what topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Managing the Weeds of Anger Jan 11, 2023

An immature person uses anger to bend and shape reality and relationships to meet their demands. A mature person will learn what their anger is showing them and manage it constructively in ways that bring redemption.

In light of how important it is for us to mature in our ability to manage anger, John, Lynn and Austin give an overview of how to address anger when it shows up:

A - Admit it

N - Notice other emotions

G - Get regulated

E - Engage Your Story

R - Remind, Repair, Repent

This episode is practical, hopeful and offers necessary tools for how to manage anger.

Did you find this episode helpful? Text and share it with a friend and leave us a rating or review! Follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds and let us know what topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

The Roots of Anger Jan 04, 2023

Is being angry a sin? The internal experience of anger is powerful and can feel overwhelming. Yet anger is a natural, God-given emotion that is designed to help us accomplish two things: to protest something bad and protect something good.

But when anger shows up, we may turn into “the hulk” and our anger can become destructive instead of constructive. John and Austin discuss the importance of experiencing anger and why we should let “the hulk” into the room instead of locking the door.

Did you find this episode helpful? Text and share it with a friend and leave us a rating or review! Follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds and let us know what topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Managing the Weeds of Sadness & Grief Dec 28, 2022

John, Lynn and Shay get into the topic of grieving losses, which may be the most important process we learn in our lifetime.

There are 5 principles to grieving including the fact that we can resist grief, but we shouldn’t. Grief involves the need to face reality, the natural desire to protest reality, letting go of what you can’t change, and making room for new things.

Grief is a humbling experience, as it puts us in a position of awaiting future restoration, and depending on God’s hopeful promises in our suffering.

Did you find this episode helpful? Text and share it with a friend and leave us a rating or review! Follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds_ and let us know what topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

The Roots of Sadness Dec 21, 2022

John and Lynn discuss how sadness is a bittersweet emotion (John’s favorite!), and is necessary for us to experience so we don’t get stuck. We face losses everyday: loss of beauty, health, control, influence, loved ones, hopes and dreams. Our sadness can quickly turn into deep sorrow and anguish when we face devastating loss.

The painful feeling of regret naturally occurs when we look back on the past and replay the events that have taken place, wondering how we could have avoided the pain of things we are powerless to change.

This episode is an insightful and challenging discussion about feelings that we try to avoid, but that can actually connect us more deeply to the heart of God and others.

Did you find this episode helpful? Text and share it with a friend and leave us a rating or review! Follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds_ and let us know what topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Managing the Weeds of Depression Dec 14, 2022

Are you living in the fog of depression? If so, there are many things to consider, from the physiological components of depression, to distorted thinking, toxic relationships or spiritual hopelessness.

John, Shay and Lynn discuss the art of self-diagnosis when you’re experiencing depression including how to question yourself, reflect on yourself and talk to yourself.

Managing the weeds of depression requires connecting to safe, healthy people who love you, proper self-care and engaging with God even when life feels dark.

Did you find this episode helpful? Text and share it with a friend and leave us a rating or review! Follow us @withyouintheweeds_ on Instagram and let us know what topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

The Roots of Depression Dec 07, 2022

Are you depressed? The truth is, there’s a lot to be depressed about, and God never judges anyone for feeling depressed. That’s why “spiritual bypassing”, or discounting our painful feelings with biblical platitudes is unhelpful.

Our team will help you assess what mild to severe depression looks like and discuss the common roots of depression that may stem from our past experiences, a present hardship, or underlying spiritual causes that need to be addressed.

We also discuss the topic of suicide because it is a painful and devastating reality connected to depression that cannot be ignored or avoided.

Did you find this episode helpful? Let us know by leaving a rating or review! Email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Managing the Weeds of Anxiety Nov 30, 2022

We know that anxiety is a normal part of life, so how are we going to manage it? Since there’s no quick fix, we explain a holistic approach to addressing anxiety from spiritual, mental, relational and physiological perspectives.

Listen in as we discuss what Jesus says about anxiety, what makes our anxiety worse, why we need self-awareness to “think about our thinking”, and how to implement some easy and effective coping strategies to calm yourself down when you’re anxious.

Did you find this episode helpful? Let us know by leaving a rating or review! Email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

The Roots of Anxiety Nov 23, 2022

Why are we so anxious? We all feel it, but do we know where it’s coming from? Anxiety is a physiological state of uneasiness or distress and is our brain's way of telling us there’s a problem that needs to be solved.

Knowing the source of our anxiety is the first step to managing it!

Listen as we discuss the potential root causes of our anxiety, how it shows up in the body and the most common life situations that contribute to anxious feelings. This discussion will help you find where you are on a spectrum of anxiety symptoms so you can identify what you’re experiencing and why.

Did you find this episode helpful? Let us know by leaving a rating or review! Email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Get to Know Us! Nov 15, 2022

Get to know us! We are a team of Christian counselors and pastors who are routinely “in the weeds” with people helping them navigate the hardships of life from a psychological and spiritual perspective.

We want to offer you wisdom and insight from a trusted Christian viewpoint so that you feel normalized in your struggles and equipped to manage the weeds of life.

We invite you to listen as we have honest conversations about how to manage your mental health, stress, emotions, spiritual growth, relationships, parenting, marriage and more!

Did you find this episode helpful? Let us know by leaving a rating or review! Email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Your Emotional Dashboard Nov 15, 2022

Why should we pay attention to our emotions? Can’t we just ignore them and hope they go away?

This series, Managing Your Emotions, is going to address unavoidable emotions like anxiety, depression, sadness, anger and shame that we often don't know how to handle, so we need to start by understanding our emotional dashboard.

Let’s be honest, in the church we often see two extremes: all facts (head knowledge) or all feelings (gut knowledge). Hint: we need both sides of our brain if we want to build a bridge between our head and heart!

Learn why we avoid and resist emotions, and how we can engage them in ways that help us gain wisdom, connect deeply in relationships and grow closer to God.

Did you find this episode helpful? Let us know by leaving a rating or review! Email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

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