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    Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

    Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel on “Where Should We Begin” and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? For an ad-free version of our podcast, plus bonus episodes, behind-the-scenes content, and more, visit our Office Hours section.

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    Latest Episodes:
    Two Conversations Esther Wants You To Hear From Sessions Live Jul 21, 2025
    Show notes

    Esther presents two conversations you have to hear from her clinical conference, Sessions Live. Listen in as psychiatrist and narrative therapist Paul Browde traces his journey from secrecy to aliveness. Growing up queer under apartheid and later diagnosed with HIV, Browde shares how stigma, silence, and shame shaped his early life and professional path. Through storytelling, erotic healing, and spiritual practice, he reclaims pleasure not as indulgence, but as a portal to connection, presence, and transformation.


    Later in the episode, licensed therapist and New York Times bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab offers a clear, compassionate roadmap for navigating boundaries in relationships. Boundaries do not have to mean endings. In fact, boundaries can be a way for us to connect. She explores how boundary-setting is not about pushing people away but about creating the conditions for healthy connection. In a time when many feel overstretched, overwhelmed, or emotionally enmeshed, she reminds us that boundaries are a vital act of self-respect—and a necessary foundation for mutual care.


    These panels were recorded at Esther Perel’s Annual Sessions Live event, entitled Mating in the Metacrisis: Connection, Polarization, and Eroticism in a World on Edge. For more information on the event and how you can watch it now, please go to www.estherperel.com


    For the month of July, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity, or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up with couples and find out where their stories went. You'll also get an ad-free version of all the episodes.

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    Can Our College Friendship Survive Adulthood? Jul 14, 2025
    Show notes

    Friendship is a key thread of the social fabric. But what happens when the thread starts to fray?


    They met in college and have been close for a decade. Now, with long-term partners in the mix, their once-easy bond is under strain. Resentments—some spoken, many not—have started to pile up. Can their friendship adapt to this new phase of life? Or will it unravel? Esther offers them both some hope.


    Topic: Relationships with Family & Friends


    For the month of July, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up with couples and find out where their stories went. You'll also get an ad free version of all the episodes.


    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    What Now? with Trevor Noah - Meet Esther Perel - One of My Favorite People Jul 07, 2025
    Show notes

    This week on Where Should We Begin we are sharing a very special episode of What Now? with Trevor Noah. Esther joins Trevor for a heartfelt conversation about the power of friendship. As Esther reflects on her childhood and the experiences that shaped her journey, the two explore how meaningful relationships help us grow—often through our challenges, humor, and even a little friction. From unexpected places like the laundromat to deep conversations with old friends, this episode invites us to consider how friendships can ground us, push us, and ultimately strengthen the communities we build together. All summer long, Esther will be diving deeper into the role of connection and community in our lives.


    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter


    For the month of July, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up with couples and find out where their stories went. You'll also get an ad free version of all the episodes.

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    Never Been In a Long Term Relationship, Scared I Don't Know How To Do This Jun 30, 2025
    Show notes

    He's 42 and is in his first real relationship. And he's panicking. He's afraid he doesn't know how to be in a true romantic partnership. With Esther's help, he explores how his past has contributed to his fears of intimacy and abandonment.


    Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism


    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.


    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    Esther says "Run!" Jun 23, 2025
    Show notes

    Does loving him come with a price? After four months of dating, he’s asking her to cut ties with all of her exes. Is this a sign of love and commitment—or a red flag? In this episode, Esther unpacks the deeper dynamics at play: boundaries, control, trust, and the stories we tell ourselves about loyalty. Esther challenges the caller to consider what she may be giving up in the name of love—and what it might cost her in the long run.


    Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism


    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.


    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    I Want To Fit In, But I Don't Want To Fit In Jun 16, 2025
    Show notes

    She is a single mother by choice. She lives in a very tight knit community with very traditional values. Now that her child is almost one, she's ready to date again but doesn't know where to begin. She seeks Esther's advice on how to embrace her new identity as a mom, find a suitable partner, and how to manage the community expectations on her choices.


    Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism


    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.


    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    First He Loved Bombed Me And Then It Was Over Jun 09, 2025
    Show notes

    She's grappling with the aftermath of a tumultuous relationship with a narcissistic partner. First, he love bombed her and made her feel special only to turn manipulative and aggressive in a time of need following her father's death. She doesn't know how to bounce back or how she will learn to trust again.


    Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism


    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.


    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    Terms & Conditions May Apply: What We All Need to Know About Modern Dating Jun 02, 2025
    Show notes

    Dating often comes with a lot of questions. Who gets to say what they want? Who gets to be chosen? Who gets to choose? Should I stay on/off the apps? How much do I share, when, and how? This week, Esther gets set up on a blind date of sorts with three people, all deeply invested in the world of modern dating, to talk through what it's like out there and how she can help them navigate IRL dates.


    Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism


    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    I Took My Boss to Therapy May 19, 2025
    Show notes

    This is a classic session, from the second season of How's Work? From day one, they’ve described their relationship as “tumultuous," but there are highs as well as lows. One is new to the work force, the other is new to this particular work place. One manages the other. And while they like each other on a personal level, they clash over their fundamentally different approaches to getting the job done.


    Over the last few years, workplace culture has been transformed by remote work, inconsistent in-office presence, and an intergenerational workforce. Where Should We Begin? At Work is a new game designed to transform your work culture – one story and one relationship at a time. Brought to you by Esther Perel and Culture Amp, this isn’t your typical icebreaker. It’s a new data-backed game that will help you create community at work. Details at https://game.estherperel.com/products/where-should-we-begin-at-work

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    I Waited for You to be Ready but Now I’m 40 and Childless May 12, 2025
    Show notes

    They were in love for 6 years and building a life together. They froze embryos and agreed on a timeline for getting pregnant. But when the time came, he wavered, and the relationship fell apart. Now she finds herself alone, angry, scared, and having to rethink her definition of family. She asks Esther, how she can remain hopeful when everything feels so lost?


    Topic - Conflict & Polarization


    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.


    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


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