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Latest Episodes:

35: A Pastor says #MeToo Sep 09, 2020

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Trigger warning: Episode contains references to rape and sexual assault. The #MeToo movement isn't just about the Harvey Weinsteins of the world. It's also about Christians leaders in positions of power who wield that power for evil. Pastor, author, and speaker Ruth Everhart survived an assault and dealt with an abusive senior pastor in her early days as an associate pastor. After decades of ministry, she helps us navigate power, the Bible, and justice in a way that will bring you freedom and strength. Full show notes here And on The Jess & Devi Show, we talk about Tamar and Ammnon using The #MeToo Reckoning as our guide. Talk to us on Twitter & Instagram Ruth Everhart is an author, speaker, and pastor who has served Presbyterian (PCUSA) churches for more than twenty years. The author of three books, her most recent is The #MeToo Reckoning: Facing the Church's Complicity in Sexual Abuse and Misconduct, which weaves together contemporary stories and ancient scripture to call the church to lament, repent, and build a community of equality and justice. Connect with Ruth: Web T witter Facebook Instagram

34: Real Talk on Race and Relationships Sep 02, 2020

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Get ready to learn today from Faitth Brooks and Kathryn Freeman about what it's like to navigate the world as a single, Black, Christian woman. We talk about purity culture, dating and dating apps, and evangelical perceptions of what makes a "good" woman.

Use this episode as a tool to better understand your African American friends and as a tool as you navigate interracial relationships even if you don't live in the U.S.

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Melanated Faith is a Be the Bridge Collective podcast about faith, race, and culture hosted by Faitth Brooks and Kathryn Freeman.

Faitth is a masters-level social worker engaging in community organizing and activism. Faitth works for Be the Bridge as the Director of Programs, she is passionate about anti-racism education.

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Kathryn is a seminary student, writer and advocate. She has ten years of experience in non-profit advocacy and enjoys teaching faith leaders how to engage the political process for the common good and God's glory. In her spare time, Kathryn writes about the intersection of faith and pop culture. Her work has appeared in Christianity Today, Christ and Pop Culture, The Baptist Standard, The Houston Chronicle, Think Christian, and Austin Woman Magazine.

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33: What Comes After Grief Aug 26, 2020

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Or is there even an after? K.J. Ramsey writes in her book This Too Shall Last, that "this is not a before and after story," because maybe the secret to grief is that we carry it with us as we flow through life.

Maybe the secret is not a secret. It is our bodies, gifted, endowed by God with tools to help us move from alarm to calm and panicked to peaceful. We continue the conversation about ambiguous loss today and talk about how we can move through grief in a way that can form and transform us with therapist, writer, and theologian K.J. Ramsey.

Our full conversation is available only to our partners, and you can join us on the inside here.

Full episode show notes here

Our special thanks as well to Dr. Pauline Boss and Lou Kurtz of the Great Lakes Mental Health Technology Transfer Center Network for letting us use the audio of Dr. Boss speaking.

K.J. Ramsey (BA, Covenant College, MA, Denver Seminary) is a licensed professional counselor and writer. She is the author of This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers , and her writing has been published in Christianity Today, RELEVANT, The Huffington Post, Fathom Magazine, Health Central, and more on the integration of theology, psychology, and spiritual formation. Follow her across social media at @kjramseywrites.

32: Naming Your Unspoken Grief Aug 19, 2020

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You know when you feel crazy and wonder, "Is it me?" Spoiler alert: IT'S NOT YOU. We invite you to examine these situations to find the unnamed grief that may lie beneath the crazy. Whether it is prolonged singleness, impending divorce, multiple childhood moves, or scheduling a wedding during a pandemic, we all experience losses that have no closure.

We investigate Dr. Pauline Boss' groundbreaking research in ambiguous loss and discover what this has to do with us as we navigate our relationships and life during Covid-19.

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31: The Myths of App Dating Aug 12, 2020

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Ahhh the wild world of app dating! We're here to start untangling this way of dating by debunking some myths. Is it safe? How do you know if someone is who they say they are? Is app dating only about sex? And what does one do about the dreaded dick picks? Jess and Coach Leo Tabibzadegan talk about it all.

And if you enjoyed this conversation, there's another 40 minutes of tips and stories on The Jess & Devi Show this week.

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30: Women and Porn Aug 05, 2020

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One in three women look at porn, but when it comes to the church, you would think it's only a "male problem." Today we talk about women and porn with our guide, Alice Taylor. We talk about the way porn is kept a shameful secret, what to do when you lapse, and how to find freedom. Share this episode with the women in your life and get those conversations started.

Alice Taylor is a passionate advocate for women struggling with pornography. She is a professional writer and speaker, certified recovery coach and founder of The Grace Spot. She is the author of Restored: A Woman's Guide to Overcoming Pornography and has her own story of overcoming pornography.

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29: Is It Time to Mute John Crist? Jul 29, 2020

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*Trigger warning: This episode contains references to sexual assault.

Comedian John Crist made his return to public comedic work last week with an "apology" video. We talk about the allegations levelled against him by five women in November 2019 after which Netflix canceled his special and WaterBrook & Multnomah canceled his book.

We discuss:

How does Purity Culture influence the way we talk about sexual abuse?

What is an abuse of power?

What does a sincere apology look like and how can we make amends when we've done wrong?

Full Show Notes Here

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28: The Making of Progressive Sexual Ethics Jul 22, 2020

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If you wonder what progressive sexual ethics can look like, Matthias Roberts is here to open up the conversation. He speaks to us as a therapist and an author, but he's also a gay man who grew up in the trenches of evangelical purity culture. This episode is also a great starting point if you want to better understand your LGBTQ+ friends and relatives.

In Ask Us Anything, Jess & Devi talk about The "Purity" Hoax, and address the question: Was Jim and Elisabeth Elliot's love story real?

Full show notes here

Matthias Roberts is author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms (Fortress, 2020) and host of Queerology: A Podcast on Belief and Being which was named as one of the "12 Best LGBTQ+ Podcasts of 2020" by O: The Oprah Magazine and the #1 Podcast to Listen to on National Coming Out Day by Radio.com. He holds two master's degrees, one in theology and culture and one in counseling psychology from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. In his psychotherapy practice, Matthias specializes in helping LGBTQ+ teens and adults live confident and fulfilling lives. He writes and speaks often about the intersections between gender, sexuality, mental health, and theology.

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27: Moving "Beyond Awkward Side Hugs" Jul 15, 2020

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Are you tired of viewing the men and women in your life as potential mates or potential sexual temptations? In our sex-crazed world, is the church any different when it comes to male female relationships? Listen in to hear why men and women can be friends, supporters, and partners in building the world.

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Bronwyn Lea has been active for twenty years in vocational ministry, encourage, teach, and mobilize Christians of all ages. A graduate of law school and seminary, she ministers in her local church and also heads up Propel Sophia, the Christian living wisdom resource for Propel Women. Bronwyn is the author of Beyond Awkward Side Hugs: Living as Christian Brothers and Sisters in a Sex-Crazed World.

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BONUS: Reflections on the Black Experience of Purity Culture Jun 24, 2020

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Pastor Curtis Allen joined Covenant Life Church in Gaithersberg, Maryland as a young Black man and after he joined the majority white church, he discovered the dating culture to be...different. From the overuse of the "guard her heart" mantra to rooms divided in half with all men on one side and all women on the other side. It was a world saturated in the I Kissed Dating Goodbye courtship methodology.

This conversation was recorded years before the murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd and the fresh wave of #blacklivesmatter protests we've seen around the world in the past weeks. But Pastor Curtis Allen's words to us about his experience as a Black man in a majority white church will give us all something to think about. From the ushers who wouldn't give him a program to the weight of having to assimilate, Pastor Allen speaks honestly words that all of us need to hear.

This interview is a departure from our usual format. The audio you hear in this episode is Josh Harris interviewing Pastor Curtis Allen for the documentary I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye, a film made by our co-host Jessica Van Der Wyngaard.

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