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What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

When you’re a parent, every day brings a “fresh hell” to deal with. In other words, there’s always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you’re not alone, and it won’t always be this hard.
We’re Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn’t like.
In each episode of “What Fresh Hell” we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you’ve ever wondered “why is my kid…” then one of us has probably been there, and we’re here to tell you what we’ve learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we’ve learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you’re the default parent in your household, whether you’re a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!
whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Copyright: Copyright © 2016-2023 What Fresh Hell, LLC

Latest Episodes:

Ask Amy: When Did 5th Grade Get So Rough? Nov 06, 2023

Show notes

Is fifth grade way more complicated than it used to be? A listener wrote in to ask:

"Is it just me or is 5th grade rough? Is it just my 5th grader and his classmates, or are others experiencing this too? Weird friend drama, lots of emotions, being teased (but in a friendly way?)... It’s a lot. Please tell me I’m not alone!"

The average 5th grader is in the 10- to 11-year-old range, and as Vanessa Kroll Bennett and Dr. Cara Natterson recently explained to us, that's become a reasonable age for puberty to begin. (Listen to our Fresh Take with them here.) So it's no wonder that some of them are feeling big emotions, or having sudden drama with the same friends they've had since kindergarten.

Even though we may want to Mama Bear the situation and fix everything that's wrong, it's developmentally appropriate for kids of this age to experience discomfort of a social, mental, and yes, physical, nature.

The best thing you can do is make your home a safe space for whatever emotions your child is feeling about all of this upheaval. If it seems like they're handling it, you can take a back seat. If they're really asking for your help, that's your cue to get more involved. But if you're not hearing as much as you used to about school and friends from your kid, remember that that's also normal for this age and stage.

Here are two more of our Fresh Takes you may find helpful on this topic:

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

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Fresh Take: Dr. Robyn Silverman on How to Talk to Kids About Anything Nov 03, 2023

Show notes

How do we talk to our kids about all the complicated topics our world presents them with? Dr. Robyn Silverman, child and teen development specialist, is the author of the bestselling book How to Talk to Kids About Anything and host of the podcast How to Talk to Kids About Anything, gives us scripts for having hard conversations with our kids.

In this interview Dr. Silverman, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

The downside to parents not talking to kids about hard things
The biggest mistakes parents make when talking to kids
Why tough conversations are worthwhile for reasons that go far beyond what might be discussed

Here's where you can find Dr. Silverman:

DrRobynSilverman.com
@DrRobynSilverman on socials
Buy HOW TO TALK TO KIDS ABOUT ANYTHING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781728246987

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

DEEP DIVE: When Your Kid Doesn't Fit the Mold Nov 02, 2023

Show notes

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here.

This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting our episode of that name from 2021

Sooner or later, most parents discover that their kid doesn't fit society's mold in one way or another. But there's "quirky" kids with unusual haircuts, and then there's the kids who really do their own thing, with or without peer approval. In this episode, we're talking about the latter.

Those parents will recognize what Dr. Perri Klass calls "the pivotal moment": "not just one moment of extreme behavior in your kid, but the last in a series of impossible-to-explain-away behavior that resonates with the parent's long-considered and long-avoided fears. It crystallizes in a parent's mind all the floating anxieties and worries of many months."

It’s especially challenging for us when our kids are outside the norm because we can't help but think what will become of this kid? But at those times, we're forgetting two things: not only do our children have the ability to grow and develop, we're going to become better parents along the way, as well.

When it comes to our non-mold-fitting kids, there's reason to hope that the world will someday be wide enough. Albert Einstein didn’t fit the mold either, and things worked out pretty well for him. Which isn't to say he didn't cause his mom some sleepless nights along the way.

Here are some links to writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Drs. Perri Klass and Eileen Costello: Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn’t Fit In

greatschools.org: How to support your unique, quirky child

childmind.org: Sensory Processing FAQs

slate.com: What About Kids Who Don't Fit The Mold?

Dana Basu: How to Cope When Your Child is Different

Andrew Solomon: Far From The Tree: Parents, Children, And The Search For Identity

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When Kids Fight You on Everything Nov 01, 2023

Show notes

We’re on YouTube Music! Watch and listen at this link: What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

We've all had times when our kids resist every. single. thing. you tell them to do. When is it part of a larger problem, and even if it's not, how do we manage the exhausting defiance?

Amy and Margaret discuss:

How to keep track of a kid's defiance in order to figure out where it's coming from
Gut-check questions to ask yourself to ascertain where ODD might be what's happening
the "two free requests" approach

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Katherine Lee for VeryWell Family: Effective Ways to Handle Defiant Children
Royce Flippin for Additude: Why Is My Child So Angry and Defiant? An Overview of Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Dr. Douglas Riley: The Defiant Child: A Parent’s Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Mount Sinai Parenting Center: Positive Opposites

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Margaret: Is There a Nice Way to Say "I'm All Touched Out"? Oct 30, 2023

Show notes

Moms of little kids are touched all day, every day. So what happens when it's supposedly our spouse's turn at the end of the day, but we're just not in the mood for cuddling?

This week a listener asks:

"I’ve been really wanting my own space lately. I have two preschoolers and I’m nursing a baby. Basically, I’m touched out. I feel terribly bad because yesterday when I got everyone down for a nap, my husband (who is working from home) asked if he could snuggle with me. I said sure, but then asked him to leave so that I could rest.

He caught me red-handed scrolling on my phone a couple of minutes later, and I had to admit I just didn’t want to snuggle. I really hurt his feelings. What can I say? Feeling really guilty… but I just want my own space! Is there a nice way to handle it when you don’t want to be touched?"

The problem here isn't the snuggles, it's the communication. It's 100% reasonable to feel all touched out but also understandable for your spouse to feel hurt when he is cuddle-rejected.

Having a conversation around both of your expectations while working from your maximum point of generosity will solve this problem in no time.

The Parents.com article Margaret references in this article can be found HERE.

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Dr. Tracy Dalgleish on Making Relationships Work Oct 27, 2023

Show notes

Why is it that we can find ourselves in a marriage with someone we thought we knew but with whom we can't effectively communicate? Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, author of I Didn’t Sign Up For This, talks us through breaking negative cycles in our relationships.

Dr. Tracy Dalgleish is a clinical psychologist, relationship expert, and voice behind @drtracyd.

Dr. Dalgleish and Margaret discuss:

Why dating doesn't prepare us for marriage
The most common problems couples have, and what's really underneath those issues
The best way to approach difficult conversations with our partners

Here's where you can find Dr. Dalgleish:

https://www.drtracyd.com/
@drtracyd on IG / FB
@pesipublishing on IG
Buy I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781683736622

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

DEEP DIVE: Meeting Our Kids Where They Are Oct 26, 2023

Show notes

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here.

This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting our episode on meeting our kids where they are.

It's hard not to be a little nervous when your kid is the only one still crying at preschool drop-off. Or the only one still spelling everything wrong in third grade. Sometimes it turns out to be a late bloomer situation, nothing to worry about. Sometimes it's an early indicator of something your kid might struggle with for a long time.

How do we move beyond our own stress about what our kids are and aren't doing like the rest of the bunch? How do we adjust our demands to meet what our kids are actually capable of? How do we set our parental expectations so that our kids will be motivated to try harder without feeling bad about themselves?

It's a tricky balance, best summed up by parent coach Sarah Wayland:

"If we never had expectations that were beyond our children’s current abilities, we wouldn’t teach them anything.... But I’m at my absolute worst as a parent when my expectations are far beyond my kids’ abilities."

Here are links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Joanna Faber: Manage Your Expectations, Not Your Child
Terri Mauro for Very Well Family: Backward Chaining for Special-Needs Children
Dr. Sarah C. Wayland for Guiding Exceptional Parents: Meet Your Kids Where They Are
Elaine Taylor-Klaus for Impact ADHD: Shift Your Expectations to Manage Complex Kids

Listen to "When Typical Parenting Advice Just Doesn't Fit"

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wait, Didn't Everyone's Family Do This? Oct 25, 2023

Show notes

Did you grow up thinking everyone's family has a tooth fairy that leaves tin foil behind instead of coins? Said "padiddle" whenever a car with a single headlight drove past? We asked our listeners what they grew up thinking everyone else's families did too... only to find out that nope, it was just them.

Here's the link for "Throw Your Tooth on the Roof: Tooth Traditions from Around the World"

See the original Facebook thread here

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Amy: Coping with Having a Sick Child Oct 23, 2023

Show notes

How do we handle a life-changing diagnosis for our child without falling apart? A concerned mother asked for support in our Facebook group:

"My sweet seven-year-old son just got two very life-altering diagnoses. I hate that he's going to have pain and struggle in his life. That some options for his life are off the table because of his diagnoses. He's just starting his life and already has so much stacked against him. My brain won't stop thinking; my fingers won't stop reaching for more information. How do you cope with this as a mother?"

Amy tells this parent that she's right: this is a lot to handle, and she's not wrong to think so.

Parents dealing with chronically ill children need to give themselves permission to feel all their feelings. Taking time for themselves is an important part of staying mentally healthy for the long haul.

Real-life support is also crucial—and that can also include emails, phone calls, and online chats with parents you may never have met, but who are dealing with similar struggles. You don't have to pretend things are better or easier than they are when you are talking to fellow travelers who know just what you're going through.

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Alyssa Blask Campbell on Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids Oct 20, 2023

Show notes

How can we empower kids to recognize and manage difficult feelings, especially when those skills may be new to us too? Alyssa Blask Campbell, author of the new book TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS, shows us how to foster emotional intelligence in our kids.

Alyssa is the CEO of Seed & Sew, which supports teachers and families with tools for regulation, connection, and emotional intelligence. Alyssa is also the host of the podcast “Voices of Your Village.”

Alyssa, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

The main difference between parenting today and how most of us were parented
The five components of emotional intelligence
Collaborative Emotional Processing, Alyssa's framework for building long-term emotional intelligence in kids

Here's where you can find Alyssa:

https://www.seedandsew.org
@seed.and.sew on IG
Buy TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063306264
Listen to the "Voices of Your Village" podcast - a new addition to the Adalyst Media network!

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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