What Do You Mean By That?

Latest Episodes:

68: If/When/How: Because Reproductive Justice is Racial Justice Jul 15, 2020

Show notes

When we think about abortion, we tend to imagine Planned Parenthood and/or providers who offer women's healthcare in their doctor's offices. We don't really think about people who are choosing to self-manage the termination of their pregnancy.

(Side note: what comes to mind when you hear the term "self-managed abortion?" Our jaws dropped when we heard it because we hadn't considered it outside of coat hangers and back alleys.)

Unfortunately, people who manage their own abortions fall into a legal grey zone, and often, because of the way systemic racism works in this country, they are BIPOC who have a higher chance of being criminally prosecuted for doing something that is, while legal according to Roe v. Wade, sometimes challenged outside of the expected medical setting.

Reproductive justice is racial justice. Listen in to learn more.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

What is a self-managed abortion anyway?
What are some of the issues when it comes to criminalizing reproductive decision making? Sign a petition here.
How we need to destigmatize abortion and decriminalize women's reproductive lives.
The groundbreaking work If/When/How is doing in spearheading a legal defense fund for reproductive justice.
Resources people can use, including:
- a Reproductive Legal Helpline for anybody thinking about a self-managed abortion,
- and the latest state-by-state information on what's happening in the legal landscape of women's reproductive rights (with a quick escape button if you need to close the browser immediately).

For this episode, we spoke with Mariko Miki, who is the Managing Director and General Counsel at If/When/How: Lawyering for Reproductive Justice, where she oversees the organization's programs, people, and policies. Joining If/When/How in 2010, Mariko designed, launched, and directed the Reproductive Justice Fellowship Program, now in its 10th year, and worked to expand reproductive rights and justice course offerings in legal academia. Mariko has served on the Advisory Board of TEACH (Training in Early Abortion for Comprehensive Healthcare) and the Board of Directors for Exhale Pro-Voice, and was a 2019 Rockwood Leadership Reproductive Health, Rights, and Justice Fellow. Mariko graduated from Brown University and Harvard Law School.

Relevant episodes:

Ep. 46: Our conversation with abortion provider Dr Jenn.
Ep. 47: The bridge between reproductive rights and health care.
Ep. 13: Racial disparities in the U.S. healthcare system when it comes to Black moms.

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67: How the U.S. Police System Has Failed Black People From Inception Jul 08, 2020

Show notes

We've been hearing a LOT about #DefundThePolice, which doesn't mean exactly what it sounds like; we're not here at this point to argue the pros or cons of defunding the police, but what we love to do is to unpack the why behind things, the history of things, so we can better understand what is really happening right NOW.

Today we're looking at a big historical question that's central to this whole argument about the police. Why were police formed in the United States? For some of us, we may assume that policing in the United States is as old as this country itself. And that's not really the truth.

So what is the truth? Glad you asked…

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

The colonial form of policing, and how informal it was at the very beginning.
Who funded the police force in 19th century America - and what they wanted the police to focus on protecting. Hint: motivations split between Northern and Southern lines.
How the structure and funding of the police had to change as cities, and the country, grew, and yet how they served to reinforce hierarchies in society.
Given this, what do YOU think? Can an organization with roots like this be race-blind in its policies and actions? If not, what would it take to change?
We offer some personal histories as we reflect on policing, and how ordinary people can make a difference.

Relevant episodes:

If you want more, we mention this episode of NPR's THROUGHLINE a lot here.
We put out a 3-episode arc on the history of domestic terrorism in the United States, including the different forms of the KKK. Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.

Like what you hear? Support us through Patreon!

Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and don't miss our new anti-racism action calendar by joining our email list.

Ep 66: Feeding (Black) Kids in Summer, When There's No School Lunch Jul 01, 2020

Show notes

According to Feeding America, African American households face hunger at a rate more than twice that of white, non-Hispanic households. And getting enough to eat is a consistent struggle for 1 in 4 African American children.

COVID-19 has exacerbated these disparities with many BIPOC communities experiencing higher death rates, food insecurity, and loss of employment. The clear connections between race, wealth, and health have been highlighted, with the fact that school-aged children, being unable to get access to the food that they would otherwise have, shows just how hunger disproportionately affects kids of color in the United States.

Even if summer hunger is temporary, its impact can last a lifetime. Children who miss breakfast and lunch are more likely to be sick, inattentive, and disruptive when they return to the classroom. And 25% of children in households at risk of hunger may be forced to rely exclusively on hunger relief charities like Feeding America to make ends meet.

We can't wait for the government to put policies in place to help address wage gaps and minimum wages and food accessibility, because millions of children are going hungry RIGHT NOW. This summer.

Listen in to learn what's happening, and how you can help.

What to listen for:

Blessings in a Backpack, which focuses on feeding kids during weekends when there is no school, has been working on a national level to make sure that this extended period of "no school" doesn't leave millions of kids hungry.
But neighborhood meals sites aren't much good if families don't know about them. That's why No Kid Hungry runs a summer meals texting service. Parents, grandparents, and caregivers can text 'FOOD' to 877-877 to find free summer meal sites in their neighborhoods.
Additionally, Feeding America has some easy ways to fight hunger as a family:
- Read and reflect on hunger: Tell your child a story about someone who struggles with hunger. You can use the story within the Family Action Plan, watch one of our videos, or read a book together. Then discuss what that person might be feeling.
- Start a donation jar: Collect donations for your local food bank or pantry. Involve your child in the process by having them decorate the jar and choose where it should be placed in your home. Find your local Food Bank.
- Host a lemonade stand or birthday party: Raise funds by hosting an online event where proceeds go to Feeding America or your local food bank. Set up a personal fundraiser.
- Plant a family garden: Extend your existing family garden and donate the excess produce to your local food bank or plant a new one.
- Volunteer as a family: Volunteering as a family is a great way to spend time together while also giving back. The Feeding America network of food banks serves virtually every community across the country. Connect with your food bank for local ways to get involved.

If your family is involved in a community group—such as Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, or 4H—see if the group can volunteer together, virtually, or perhaps in person if there are those opportunities.

And - one thing that we love to do as a family over here - if someone in your family has a big day coming up, consider a donation in their name instead of a physical gift. We know it's not for everyone, but we do this for Mother's Day, Father's Day, and major gift holidays - to make sure that we are able to share some of what we have and are so grateful for with others.

What else can you do?

If you or someone you know is hungry - the USDA National Hunger Hotline remains a helpful resource for people seeking food assistance. The hotline, operated by Hunger Free America, can be reached Monday through Friday between 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. ET. at 1-866-3-HUNGRY (1-866-348-6479) or 1-877-8-HAMBRE (1-877-842-6273) (for Spanish).

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

PLUS, support us through Patreon! You'll have the opportunity to join our virtual community, which we've just launched.

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

Suggested Episodes Related to This Topic:

Ep 25: Why Kids Are Going Hungry

Ep 49: Why Are We Talking About Income Inequality?

65: Why Voting Is An Equity Issue Jun 24, 2020

Show notes

Dismantling police forces and committing ourselves to education and activism is important for #blacklivesmatter – SO, we can't lose sight of the critical thing happening in the U.S. in November. The outcome of our presidential election will impact not only us as a country but the dynamics of our world.

You'll hear that mail-in ballots alone aren't the answer, but they are part of the solution. Action is not just committing to vote but making sure that everybody has access to the ability to vote. It's time to start mobilizing now.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

Why, especially given COVID19, the November elections may be at risk.
Three myths and facts about mail-in ballots.
Organizations to support and things you can do, including:
- Checking out state-by-state status on mail-in ballots,
- Helping people get IDs so they can register to vote,
- Joining When We All Vote to make sure every eligible voter is registered,
- Supporting LaBron James' new More Than a Vote which aims to take on voter suppression efforts currently aimed at Black voters,
- Using great digital organizing tools as you write letters to voters.

What else can you do?

Call your members of Congress to tell them to support expanded voting options by passing the Natural Disaster and Emergency Ballot Act of 2020 and to provide more funding for fair and safe elections. Call 202-224-3121.

And tell three friends - those who've moved, or who've just turned 18, in particular!

PLUS, support us through Patreon! You'll have the opportunity to join our virtual community, which we've just launched.

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

64: The Why Behind Trump's Juneteenth Rally Jun 17, 2020

Show notes

We had to postpone our pre-scheduled episode on the importance of voting to bring you this critically-timed conversation on President Trump's decision to return to the campaign trail on Juneteenth in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Without knowing the history and significance of both of these things, you might just think, oh well, he's hoping 300,000 people gather without masks to support his next bid for Presidency - that's not so smart.

But if you know the history, you realize it is way worse than that.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

What is the significance of Juneteenth? The freeing of slaves in Texas.
How we were not taught the full truth about President Abraham Lincoln's motivation for ending slavery.
How the history of the Tulsa Massacre was erased.
And... how President Trump "coincidentally" picked both Juneteenth AND Tulsa as the site of his return to the campaign trail.
Can you think critically about this choice, and what it might mean for propagating hate?

PLUS, support us through Patreon! At that link, you'll learn about the virtual community we are launching – and you're welcome to join.

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

63: How To Be An Ally, Even When You Feel Overwhelmed Jun 10, 2020

Show notes

Right now, during COVID, as #blacklivesmatter has (finally) picked up steam among white people, there is a lot to process – both intellectually and emotionally.

The anti-racism resources that are flooding our social media streams and filling our inboxes are so powerful, so well-intentioned, and helpful. Yet if this is anything like what we're expecting to happen, soon, what we're calling White Fatigue might set in for some people out there.

This episode is dedicated to pushing through the discomfort, committing to the fight, and includes a special bonus at the end: an anti-racism breathwork experience from Jenny Peni, to help you process and feel a little more grounded and able to do what you need to do.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

White fatigue. It's what we're calling the effect of the incredible yet overwhelming amount of resources, suggestions, and places to support that are emerging now.
How people in a position of influence can undermine the effort by deflecting. Hear our thoughts on Drew Brees, and why we agree this was never about the flag.
What we might be doing that can help, or hurt, the people we run into in the supermarket.
The difference between an ally and a co-conspirator – and which we want to be.
A few tips and our resources on how to move from "not racist" to being anti-racist, including how to talk to your kids about race.
Want to make this sustainable? Weigh in on whether it would help if we created a weekly calendar of short things to do or read or watch, so you don't have to weed through the overwhelm all by yourself.

PLUS, support us through Patreon! At that link, you'll learn about the virtual community we are launching – and you're welcome to join.

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

62: Racism Against Asian-Americans During COVID-19 and How to Be An Ally Jun 03, 2020

Show notes

Unless you've tuned out of the news altogether, you will have noted that our President has used language referring to the COVID-19 pandemic as "the China virus."

How do you think that has impacted the Asian-American population in our country? The stats of hate crimes and discrimination are clear - 1700 incidents reported within six weeks of tracking. It's happening. If you're not Asian but want to do something, where do you even begin to be an ally?

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

Misasha's personal story of being uncomfortable in the South
Examples of racism - sometimes deadly - against Asian individuals during the COVID-19 era
Various administration and senator's words and actions, both encouraging discrimination and against discrimination
Organizations that are here to help, including Stop AAPI Hate and Act to Change including their AAPI giving campaign
What you can do as an ally or helpful bystander
Best tips to maintain your mental health if you're subject to discrimination

If you'd like to educate yourself on how to combat Asian American racism via the 24-minute video we referenced in the episode, here it is.

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter - or sign up for our email list.

61: Period Kits with Geoff Davis May 27, 2020

Show notes

Aunt Flo, shark week, that time of the month, your red-headed friend: whatever you call your period, menstruation is a natural bodily function that happens to 50% of the population.

For the majority of us, we take our monthly supplies for granted. But what happens if you're homeless, or if you have to choose each month between purchasing groceries or paying for your feminine hygiene supplies?

On today's show, Sara chats with Geoff Davis, Executive Director of Period Kits, who is helping to solve that dilemma by providing period kits and dignity to that vulnerable segment of our population who need them the most. Misasha joins Sara to discuss ways to get involved on a local level.

Listen in to this inspiring story and learn how you can make a difference!

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

Geoff provides an overview of the founding of Period Kits.
Each kit contains a 3-month supply of these products:
- 40 tampons
- 20 pads
- 20 liners
- 1 pack of personal wipes
- 6 pairs of underwear
Geoff describes how women deal with menstruation when they can't afford products.
Each year in January, Denver organizations go out with food and blankets and do a "point in time" survey to capture the number of people who are unstably housed.
These numbers are not exact, but the survey captures about one in two people for various reasons.
Geoff explains how they build the kits and the number of kits they provide each month.
They are not able to keep with the demand from organizations and schools that are requesting Period Kits.
Geoff is using Period Kits as a way to campaign for broader change in our society.
The city of Denver removed menstrual products from the city sales tax because they're classified as medically necessary, but the state tax still applies because it would cost them to lose about big money out of their budget.
Sara shares the costs of feminine hygiene products over the course of a woman's life.

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter - or sign up for our email list.

Resources:

Period Kits - Denver

Blossom Project - San Francisco

Helping Women Period - Michigan

The Homeless Period Project - South Carolina

Shanicia Boswell of Black Moms Blog brought it to our attention that you can donate period products to your local homeless shelters as well.

60: The Hard Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids with Antonio Wint May 20, 2020

Show notes

PLEASE NOTE: This episode was recorded after Ahmaud Arbery's killing but before George Floyd's murder.

Sara and Misasha are excited to welcome Antonio Wint to the show.

Antonio is a neighbor, father, and black man in a position of leadership with a diverse employee base who happens to enjoy running. In light of everything, Sara and Misasha wanted to hear his personal experiences and thoughts on how to talk with kids about a sport that has potentially dangerous consequences for the black population.

Listen in to this thoughtful conversation for tips on encouraging age-appropriate conversation, respect, and tolerance for all.

Show Highlights:

Antonio describes how he has had age-appropriate conversations about discipline and respecting authority with his son, who is now 10, over the years.
As a black male, he is raising his son to respect authority, and respecting authority starts in the home first.
The older his son has gotten, Antonio has been explaining relationships, and how the respect he shows to his parents at home must translate to law officers outside of the home.
Shows that have helped facilitate some of their conversations are "Black-ish" and "Mixed-ish".
It's emotional and tough to tell your child that some people will find your very presence threatening.
How to talk about the shooting of Ahmaud Arbery.
Antonio discusses ways for us all to be more mindful of discrimination and teach tolerance.
Antonio describes his experiences with running and what he does to mitigate any potential problems.
Antonio shares how he handled a tense situation with a lurker in his neighborhood.
The differences between growing up in a black neighborhood and choosing to live in a white neighborhood as a black.
How using the COVID-19 event can have a positive impact on the health of the black community going forward.
Let your neighbors know that they are not in this alone.

Resources / Links:

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE, RATE & REVIEW US!

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Antonio's Company Website: www.GetSimpleIT.com

59: Mental Health: Finding Meaning During a Time of Crisis with Dr. Sue Varma May 13, 2020

Show notes

Sara and Misasha are pleased to welcome their special guest, Dr. Sue Varma, to the show to discuss the importance of mental health in these very challenging times.

Listen in to this conversation that dives deeply into the psychological and physical effects that we're experiencing from the coronavirus pandemic, from many different perspectives.

Dr. Sue Varma is a board-certified psychiatrist and practicing cognitive-behavioral therapist in New York City. She is a Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at New York University (NYU) Langone Health and a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. She is the recipient of the inaugural Sharecare Emmy Award in 2019 and now has been nominated again for her role in CBS This Morning's 'Stop the Stigma' campaign in 2020. Dr. Varma is a keynote speaker and has been a regular national media contributor to all the major networks over the last 13 years (Today Show, CBS This Morning, Dr. Oz show, Tamron Hall etc) and is now a mental health contributor for CBS News. She won a Mayoral Proclamation in 2019 and a public sector award in 2020 from the Indo American Psychiatric Association. She won the "Best in Manhattan" for psychiatry in 2019 and 2020.

Her integrative approach to mental health includes cognitive behavioral therapy, exercise, mindfulness, yoga, and nutrition. She is the former medical director to the 9/11 mental health program at NYU. Through her work in trauma and resilience, she became interested in positive psychiatry and is now studying the role of optimism to not only treat mental health disorders but also to prevent them. She believes that physicians have a duty to not only take their patients from a state of dysfunction to function- but also from functional to optimal.

She is a native New Yorker but considers herself a universal citizen with travels to fifty countries and counting. Sue is a self-proclaimed foodie who also enjoys swimming in oceans around the world and sometimes with sharks!

Show Highlights:

Dr. Sue is fascinated by how the pandemic is affecting different segments of the population.
Dr. Sue shares some of her concerns for the disproportionate number of blacks hospitalized from the coronavirus in Georgia, and the elderly and minority women on the front lines.
We take so many things for granted, when in some parts of the world, there may be one working toilet for 1,400 people in the slums and no running water for washing hands.
There's trauma when you're on the frontlines seeing your colleagues getting sick, yet you're still expected to show up for work.
Medical workers are feeling dispensable and unheard. Feeling like you don't matter has severe consequences and puts you at a higher risk for trauma.
The US may rank as one of the wealthiest nations in the world but it ranks #14 in happiness.
Unemployment and financial loss, fear, and uncertainty increases the risk of trauma.
Being given access to information that is clear, accurate, scientific, and credible helps in trauma prevention or recovery.
Dr. Sue's suggestions on how to check on others during this time and how to respond to somebody who says they're not doing well.
In depression, rumination is what's going to take you down the deep, dark path.
Some things will return to normal, and other things won't.
Let's make meaning out of this time.
Dr. Sue's advice: Be compassionate to yourself, be gentle, be forgiving. Be grateful for anything you've accomplished and anything you have. Keep a journal. Be patient. Recognize that what we're going through is a temporary thing. Accept and understand that what we're going through is hard and we're going to have different emotions at different times.
Dr. Sue details the four M's of mental health: mindfulness, mastery, meaningful engagement, movement.