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Episode #135- Treating Neuroplastic Symptoms with Dr David Clarke Nov 18, 2024

Today I have a special guest, a leader in the field of Mindbody medicine and President of the ATNS (Association for Treatment of Neuroplastic Symptoms, formerly PPDA), Dr David Clarke.
Dr Clarke practiced Gastroenterology in Portland from 1984 to 2009, treating over 7000 patients whose symptoms were not explained by diagnostic testing.

In this episode, Dr Clarke summarizes Pain relief Psychology. With research based methods teaching patients to take their focus off the symptom, shift attention to brain, and feel the emotions or deal with life stressors.

Responding to chronic pain or symptoms this way rewires the brain, so that symptoms can be eliminated instead of just managed.
Listen to hear more!

Find Dr Clarke and the 12 question quiz on the ATNS website- https://www.symptomatic.me/

Dr Clarke's challenging patients course https://ppdassociation.org/online-course

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 135, Treating Neuroplastic Symptoms with Dr. David Clarke.
In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life. Become Unstoppable Body and Mind.
All right. Hi, everyone.
Welcome.
We have a special, special guest today. This is Dr. David Clarke. Welcome.
Great to be with you, Betsy.
Well, we are so glad to have you here. So Dr. Clarke is one of the pioneers and leaders in this field. The head of the PPDA, which is now the ATNS, we can talk about what all of these initials mean and acronyms.
But why don't we start with a little bit about your story, coming from being a Western physician to what you do now?
Yeah, I didn't know anything about this. The first seven years of my formal training and education, you know, it's kind of embarrassing to admit as a physician that nobody ever mentioned the idea that your brain could cause serious pain or illness in your body, in the complete absence of anything wrong structurally or with your organs. But then I encountered a patient, I didn't know the first thing about diagnosing or treating.
In year eight of my formal training, she was referred to us at UCLA where I was in training by another university because they couldn't find anything wrong to explain her symptoms. She was actually averaging one bowel movement per month, despite taking four different laxatives at double the usual doses. We did some specialized testing on her that also was normal.
I was doing her exit interview and basically telling her she was just going to have to live with this because there wasn't anything more we could do. But just so the conversation wouldn't be over in two minutes, I started asking her about stress. She didn't really have any.
You know, her current day life was really going just fine. But when I asked her about stress earlier, she started talking about having been molested as a girl by her father. Unfortunately, not just once or twice, which would have been bad enough, but hundreds of times.
And I had never heard anybody say that before. I didn't know what to do with that information. I had no formal training in how to respond to that.
But I fell back on basic instincts as a doctor, which is to try to get the story. When did it start? How often did it happen?
When did it stop? Those kinds of things. And she was telling me the story in a perfectly calm tone of voice.
It didn't look like she was distressed by this at all. If you didn't know better, you would think that, and I didn't know better at the time, you would think that she had completely processed this information and had moved on. And yet she has this terrible physical symptom with no explanation for it.
So I didn't think the two things could possibly be connected, but they were both very striking. So I had vaguely heard of a psychiatrist at UCLA that was interested in conditions like this. And I thought maybe it'll help her to live with this a little better.
So I connected her up with Harriet Kaplan, who was a psychiatrist and forgot all about her. Until I ran into Harriet in an elevator three months later, and I've told this story many times before, but this was the elevator ride that changed my career. Because in making conversation with Harriet, it turned out she had cured this patient with less than three months of counseling.
And the idea that you could alleviate a serious, real physical symptom just by talking to somebody, that was nowhere in my medical education or training. And I thought, you know, if I'm going to be a complete doctor, I should know a little bit about this. So I got Harriet to teach me how she thought about these things.
And I thought, you know, maybe I'll see a couple of patients a year that have this concern or this issue, and I'll be able to use this information, and get the patient over to whoever the Harriet is in my medical community. And I was, you know, started practice in Portland, Oregon a few years later. And I was wrong on multiple counts.
First of all, there weren't any Harriots in Portland. I would send patients to mental health, they would get cognitive behavioral therapy, it wouldn't help them, and they would come back and they say, you know, now what do we do? And so I did, you know, I tried to help them by trial and error.
And I'm confident I wasn't very good at it in the beginning, but even as a bumbling beginner, I was helping people. They were having improvement that they weren't getting from the rest of the healthcare system. So, you know, that was back in the 1980s.
Today, it's been 7,000 patients I've treated like this. It was 250 or 300 every year, which was another shock for me, one out of three of my patients. And I just got better and better at it as time went on.
My first book, which is called They Can't Find Anything Wrong, came out in 2007. And then I started getting invitations to speak. And then I met other people who were doing this work, which I'd never met before.
And we founded a nonprofit in 2011, which is now the Association for Treatment of Neuroplastic Symptoms. And you came to our conference in Boulder just six weeks ago.
Yeah. That's where we met officially. And I realized how tall you are in real life.
I look a lot shorter on Zoom.
Yeah. You said it's your superpower to look short on Zoom. And yeah, that I have to say was such a cool conference.
It was really, really amazing just being around all of these people who we've read their books, we've followed podcasts and done research and read a lot of works and studies that people have put out. And a lot of those big name people were there. It was kind of the everyone who's anyone of this world, the mind body world.
It's really true. Yeah. The speakers we had were tremendous.
I mean, I've been doing this all these years and I learned a lot from them. And the research is something we haven't had before. Just in the last mainly three years, there has been gold standard randomized controlled trials of the treatment methods that we recommend at the ATNS.
And they've been getting stunningly good results at universities across North America, everywhere from Halifax to Los Angeles is showing the power of first of all, focusing on relieving people's symptoms like that first patient, not just helping them live with it, but actually relieving it and focusing on stress in people's lives, trauma, the long-term impact of adversity in childhood, other life challenges. When you do that, people actually get better.
Yeah, yeah. And it's not just digestive issues, as we know. Like that can be a main one.
That's what brought me to the work was ulcerative colitis and irritable bowel.
Yeah, absolutely. That's how I started. But when people found out that I was doing this kind of work, they started sending me mysterious cases with symptoms from head to toe.
You know, I didn't, I have to say, I didn't see that many with migraines, but all kinds of things, dizziness, itching of the skin was one, back pain was a big one, fibromyalgia, pelvic pain, pelvic pain was very common in my practice. I had a whole slew of gynecologists that would send me patients that they couldn't find anything wrong with the pelvis, and yet it was very painful for people. Some of them had genital or bladder pain as well.
So, you know, joints, skin issues.
Genital urinary problems, like incontinence could have a mind-body component, right?
It should be checked for, that's the thing. What we emphasize is, you know, we're not going to have this mind-to-body connection in every single case, obviously, but there are a lot of people it should be checked for to get a complete evaluation.
Yeah, I personally know that because I had incontinence issues during a super stressful time, and I also just had four kids. So I thought, well, this is just my life. I'm just going to have this now.
But turns out I don't have that anymore. So, but I read Dr. Sarno's book when I first, because I found out about this stuff kind of like 2019, I think, 2018-19, a little before, I think, Cureable came out. I didn't really know about the PPDA.
I kind of found Sarno first, and he did say genitourinary issues. So I just got curious, and I started noticing some patterns with incontinence that I was like, oh, it's only certain times. It's right at the end of a conversation, right when I get home in the driveway.
Not the whole ride home, just right when I get home.
No, it's good that you had the insight to figure that out. That's what a lot of practitioners call gathering evidence, that it's not an organ-based or structure-based condition. For example, if the symptom moves from place to place, or if it's not always triggered by the same thing, if you can sit at home for a long period of time and your back is okay, but you sit at the office for the same period of time and your back is not okay, you know, your back doesn't know the difference, but your brain definitely does.
One of my early patients, he had daily low back pain except two weeks out of the year. And you know, no prize for guessing what he was doing in the two weeks out of the year, he was on vacation and he was not resting carefully on a warm beach, you know, taking good care of his back. He was fly fishing in British Columbia, which involves a lot of motion of the spine.
And at the end of the day, he would help the lodge owner clear brush from behind the lodge. Did any of this cause problems for his back? Not a bit.
As long as he was on vacation, he was fine. But when he was back from vacation, he was a workaholic and it manifested in back pain.
The thing is too, I've seen where people on vacation they don't have the pain, they do all these things, maybe on the plane ride back or once they get back, they do have pain, but they don't attribute it to coming back to work or the stressors they're putting on themselves. They think, oh, I must have overdone it three days ago when I did that ATV riding. And they attribute it to something they did several days before, or even I've heard of people up to two weeks before.
Oh, my, my chiropractor said it was probably what I did on vacation two weeks before. And that's why I had the pain two weeks later.
Yeah, no, I hear that too. When you believe that all pain and illness is connected only to organ disease or injury, as a clinician, you will bend over backwards trying to make it fit into that box. If you don't have the training or the capability to assess somebody for a brain-to-body condition or what we today call a neuroplastic condition, you're not going to be thinking of it.
And so you have to try to make the patient's condition fit into something else. And what we see a lot is people trying to make it fit into things like long COVID or Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which is stretchy connective tissue, or mast cell activation syndrome, or chronic Lyme disease. I mean, there's a whole long list.
Chronic fatigue is another one, a whole long list of conditions that are being blamed for this. Systemic candidiasis, another one, being blamed for this without any real reason to blame it. And what we encourage people to do at the ATNS is to become aware of how you assess somebody.
Look at the stress in their life right now. One of my patients only got his pain when he was driving to work. When he was driving home from work, he was fine.
But none of the doctors who had seen him before me thought to ask him about that, to get that detailed story of when and where his symptoms were happening. But a really big one is, if you went through experiences as a child, that you would never want for a child of your own. And that can be just about anything.
You know, anything from, you know, the sexual abuse that I mentioned in the first patient. But it can also be just lack of support, lack of being made to feel good about yourself, being made to feel like a second rate or a worthless person. That can have profound long-term impacts on people.
And we can't change the past, but those long-term impacts can make you physically ill. And we can change those long-term impacts. We can successfully treat those.
And when we do, the symptoms start to alleviate.
Yes, yes. That's one thing I'll always remember about you is that question to ask yourself is, if I had my own child and was going through the exact same things that I went through as a child, are there any things that I wouldn't want them to have to go through? And maybe it's even a bully in third grade or something, right?
Even those kinds of things can have an impact on that fear base, your nervous system, and then later in life, something similar comes up and you develop that. So it could be not a direct correlation of the symptoms don't just start at the time necessarily.
That's right.
Right? And then the other thing I find is that a lot of times people may not acknowledge the stressors that they are under currently, a lot of times people tell me they don't have a lot of stressors. That's not always the case.
But sometimes pain has become its own stressor or illness, or the lack of a diagnosis has become its own stressor, but they minimize or don't realize how stressful that is. Could you speak to that?
Yeah. My patients are very strong people, and they are capable of carrying levels of stress that most people cannot. And so when they look at their life, they're going like, no, it's really not that huge an amount of stress.
Or they'll say the same thing about when they were kids, that it wasn't that bad. Other people have been through worse. You know, I think I'm over it now.
But they are like Olympic weightlifters who are carrying 50 pounds more than the world record for their weight class. And they just don't know it. So their bodies are breaking down.
And you know, they're feeling that physical impact of this weight of stress that they're carrying without recognizing just how much is going on. Until, you know, as you point out, asking them to think about what it would be like to watch their own kid and try to cope with the same childhood issues that puts a completely different spin on it, helps people to recognize much more accurately. Or to, you know, imagine if a friend was carrying all the stress that they are.
One of my patients was, let's see, she was working full time. Her husband was working full time. She had been an athlete as a girl, and she was coaching her two daughters in her sport.
She was coaching other people's kids in the sport. She was on the Athletic Club Board of Directors. She was driving kids to out-of-state competitions on a regular basis.
And you ask her, when do you put yourself on the list of people you are taking care of? And she was like, not really sure. She had to think about it, and maybe she got to go to the movies with her husband every other month.
But the rest of the time, she was on a treadmill. She never stepped off and hadn't really recognized it until I made her go through the list of everything that was going on in her life, and began to see that it was adding up. But even in her case, it connected back to her childhood.
She didn't suffer any abuse. But as an athlete, she was doing her sport before school, after school, and on weekends, starting at age four. She never really got to be a kid.
She never really got to just play. I'm sure your kid's growing up, they got plenty of time to play. And when kids play, they are learning self-care skills.
They are learning that they need to take a break. If you don't learn that, then you fall into this always on the treadmill kind of lifestyle, and the body is going to protest after a while. And that's what it did with her.
She wound up in the emergency room with a sudden abdominal pain just out of the blue.
And don't you recommend something like purposeful play? Is that something?
Yes.
Yeah. Let's talk about that.
It's an essential human skill. And if you don't do it, it's sooner or later going to catch up with you. But the good news is that you can learn it as an adult, even if you never learned it as a kid.
And I ask people to set aside a block of time every week if they possibly can. And some people, it's a challenge that you have to admit. If you're a single mom, for example, and trying to hold down a job or two at the same time, it can be hard to find space for yourself.
But find as much as you can, and use that time for trial and error. Refuse to feel guilty about this because all you're doing is putting yourself on the list of people you take care of, and try to find something that has no purpose, but your own joy. And the moral equivalent of finger paints for a four-year-old, as I put it, just something that's so much fun, you can't wait to do it again next week.
And it can take months of trial and error to figure out what that's going to be. My champion athlete patient with the very busy lifestyle, all she could think of to do at first was go for walks in a park. But that was better than what she had been doing.
And while she was walking, she was thinking. And eventually she hit on the idea of taking piano lessons. And she had never done anything musical before, but she absolutely loved it.
And that was when her pain finally went away.
Oh, that's so cool. And I love that you said it because my experience when I first learned about like self-care and putting myself first, and I still had that mindset of like getting things done and achieving. So if I did a craft, it was like scrapbooking because then I had a scrapbook.
Or when I thought of just relaxing, I thought I should learn an instrument. And it wasn't out of like pure joy and relaxation. It was kind of like then that could be ticking off the box of relaxation while also doing something productive.
So for me, I'm actually proud of the fact that I can watch TV now without judging myself. Like I can watch a reality show and just get into it and waste some time that way. And I've noticed I like to go to thrift stores and just like meander around.
Or there's some things that I might like doing that other people might not like. But like you said, I love that idea of trial and error. Don't think you have to be perfect at it.
Do not think you have to be perfect. Do not think you have to be even productive.
You don't have to be productive.
That's a trap.
Exactly. That's what I used to think though, is like how could I like sneak some kind of like productivity into it and have a nice talent to show off later or like a package I could give something. You know, I did a craft and I made that for someone, you know.
Yeah, the four-year-old with the finger paints, they're not sitting there thinking, gosh, you know, I need to do more pictures per hour here.
Exactly.
They're not worried about being productive.
Right. Yeah. I mean, that's the biggest thing for me is that I really just was so hard on myself.
I was never letting myself relax. And I really noticed because I started learning about all this stuff and COVID hit. And at that time, I was a physical therapist working with babies and my job went remote because we weren't working with babies in the clinic or in the homes anymore.
And so I thought, oh great, I can just relax, right? I'll have so much free time. But then I started noticing all the baseboards that needed cleaning on all the closets that needed cleaning out.
And so I noticed it didn't really have anything to do with time. I just had that urgency inside of me that was like, I need to be doing something all the time to feel good about myself.
Yeah, it happens with so many of my patients. Many of them, not necessarily like the athlete who had to practice her sport, but the kids who become focused on solving problems in their home when they're children, they observe that things are not ideal in some way. And as kids, they have an exaggerated sense of their ability to fix things.
And so, they get focused on what they can do to make whatever is happening in their home better. But that's distracting them from focusing on their own needs, which is really what kids need to be. Kids are selfish for a reason.
They just take a lot of time for themselves and their own enjoyment. And that's when they learn those self-care skills. If there's something in the home that pulls the attention away from themselves and on to solving problems in that household, then they are taking the first steps on that treadmill of quote unquote productivity.
And if the problems continue in the household for a long enough period of time, that's how they learn to be in the world, is productive people who solve problems.
Yeah. And then if they're not taking care of themselves, it does take its toll. It does.
The body eventually breaks down. The body says no, or you just start developing pains.
Yeah. It's part of that Olympic weight that you're carrying around and that you never get a chance to put it down. That's a big part of the treatment process is people learning, first of all, that the weight is there.
And second of all, how to put it down. And when they do, they realize how strong they've been all along and the symptoms finally start to lift.
Yes. Okay. So if someone thinks that they might have some kind of stressors in their life, but they're not sure, and they're not really sure if their pain might be neuroplastic or not, where do you suggest they start?
Yeah. Well, the website Symptomatic.me has just been launched in the last couple of weeks, and we have worked very hard on a 12-question quiz, which is for self-assessment. It takes less than three minutes, and it covers the major issues that people with neuroplastic symptoms have.
It's set up in a way that the more questions to which you answer yes, the more likely it is that there's a brain-to-body connection going on as the source of your symptoms. And each question comes with a line or two of information to explain what a yes answer means and where you might explore it further. And it can start you with a big step in the right direction toward figuring out where the symptoms are coming from and what to do to alleviate them, because there's tremendous hope for this.
You know, once you get an understanding of what the stresses and challenges are that have produced the symptoms, we can almost always find a good treatment plan.
Yes. Okay. So we'll definitely have a link to that.
And when people come to you, I'm curious when, in my experience, I'll start it this way. I've started to notice that a lot of people tend to hear this information and think that they're probably the exception that has something structural and something neuroplastic. And I'm just curious how often you tend to see that versus how often we know that that really occurs.
Well, it can be a challenge, but definitely people can have both. You can have, for example, rheumatoid arthritis and neuroplastic pain exacerbating the pain of the rheumatoid arthritis. You can have ulcerative colitis, as you did with irritable bowel syndrome, making the symptoms of that worse.
And it's only when you treat both conditions that you have success in alleviating the symptoms. So it's possible, but there's no contradiction in my mind for people working with their medical doctors on whatever physical symptom might be going on, or whatever organ disease or structural damage might be happening. And see if you have some success with taking a medical approach to those.
But at the same time, get an assessment, whether it's from the 12 question quiz, or from one of our practitioners in the directory on our website, get an assessment for whether there could be some stresses, some challenges, some adversity in childhood, some emotions going on that can be producing a neuroplastic symptom at the same time. And if you find those issues, get started on using the now well-validated scientific treatment measures that are out there. Pain relief psychology is the sort of umbrella term for it.
And use that right in parallel with what the doctors are doing. And it's going to become fairly clear fairly quickly which approach is working the best for you.
I'm curious what you advise people who, there is this symptom imperative is what Sarno called it, or Alan Gordon calls it the extinction burst time. So there is this real time that most people go through as they start to learn about this work, and heal, and decrease their stresses, and buy into this mind body approach, and test things out, and start maybe moving more, that they do have some other symptoms.
Yeah, I don't like those terms a lot. I have to be honest, especially the imperative one, it makes it sound like you're screwed for life, that you're always gonna be getting these things coming back. I like a more positive take on it, which is that honestly, your body is your friend, even when it is flattening you on your bed with fatigue or with a migraine or is doubling you over in pain, it's still your friend.
It is trying to tell you something. Your brain is using your body to communicate with you, that there is a stress, an emotion, a challenge, an adversity from childhood that is going on in your life that hasn't been addressed, that hasn't potentially even been discovered yet. And that signal you can use to try to figure out, okay, what is my brain trying to tell me?
That signal from your body, when it's having a severe symptom or collection of symptoms, what is it trying to tell me? My body is actually my friend. It's trying to help me out here.
When I discover the underlying stress that's responsible for this, not only are my symptoms gonna get better, but my life is gonna get better. My ability to set boundaries with toxic people is gonna be better. The relationships that I have in my life are gonna be better.
My ability to assert myself is going to be better. So not only do you get symptom relief from this, you also get a better life from this. But you have to go through the process of shifting your attention from your body where your attention naturally gravitates to when there's a big symptom going on, shifting it to the brain and trying to figure out, my brain wants to tell me something.
And if you have a flare up after you've gotten better, naturally you're gonna be a little disappointed. But I would say it just means that I'm ready to take the next step in my healing, that there's another thing that I need to discover about myself that's gonna take me to the next level. And so that even when you're having one of these disappointing flare ups after a period of improvement, you can take that as a positive.
Yeah. Yeah, you can take it as a positive. Okay, here's a question that I am just really curious what your thoughts are about this.
A lot of people ask me about, don't you just get stiff and sore when you get older, right? Like, I know Dr. Schubiner is 72 and he says he's not sore every day and he does Zumba classes. So what's your take on?
Is there just going to be just pain with aging that people should expect?
Usually not, but it can certainly happen. I mean, all of us do age and that can make us more vulnerable to injuries, for example. So it's certainly possible that you're going to be more prone to developing soreness from time to time.
But for the most part, those are going to be acute, meaning short-term, meaning that if I go over to the gym and I haven't been there for a while and I try to do exactly my previous workout, I may be sore the next day or two. But it's not going to be months. Chronic pain is defined as being at least three months.
And that is not going to happen just from aging. There's going to be something else going on. And it absolutely could be a neuroplastic process, which deserves to be evaluated as carefully as anything else.
I don't know what it is, if it's the programming that we get from the commercials or the drug companies or what, but so many people have told me, well, isn't it just normal that we're just going to feel really stiff every morning and just really sore as we get older? And I don't know.
Well, yeah, there are billions of dollars being spent to market products to all of us that are trying to persuade us that if there's anything going on in our bodies, that it must be our bodies that are at fault. And hey, we're selling you a product that is gonna fix your body. But it turns out that when it comes to chronic pain, a majority of the time, it's not your body.
And so when people rush out to buy spine decompression belts or, you know, infrared laser joint pain reducers, or there's a Procter & Gamble product that I won't even say the name of, that's supposed to alleviate nerve pain. You know, there are 30 billion dollars worth of marketing for dozens and dozens of these products, all focused on making you believe that if something is uncomfortable in your body, that it's your body that's responsible. But there was a study this year or late last year that looked at pain in the spine and did a very careful assessment to see, okay, how much of the, you know, they had 200 and plus patients coming to a clinic for spine pain.
How many of them was it actually the spine? And how many of them was it a brain-generated neuroplastic condition? And the answer was 88% it was brain-generated.
Wow.
And of the remaining 12%, half of them, it was a mixture of brain-generated and spine pain. So only 6% was the pain actually coming from the spine. Now, that's probably a little higher than pain in other locations in the body, but it just shows you how much of chronic pain is neuroplastic.
And is not going to benefit from these, you know, billions of dollars of marketing for these products.
Yeah. And I heard you mention some numbers about treatment, because if you think of only 6% are truly structural, but we're treating everyone as if they're structural. We're treating about 100% of them in this system, that they're structural.
What were those numbers you were saying about as far as the amount of people getting treatment for a neuroplastic condition?
Yeah. Well, it's about 20% of the adult population that have a neuroplastic condition. So 50 million people in the United States alone.
It's about 40% of people that come to a primary care doctor's office, so it's almost double the number of people that have diabetes, for example. Then almost all of them are getting treated with the assumption that their body is responsible. The value of those treatments is typically a little better than placebo.
Those treatments have been used for people with this condition for 4,000 years, and we're not doing any better for those patients today than we were in ancient Egypt when it was first written about. There's almost no other disease where that is the case, that we haven't made any beneficial progress in 4,000 years. And it's completely a social justice issue now, because we've got half a dozen gold standard research studies now that show that pain relief psychology is dramatically effective for this condition.
But maybe 1 in 5,000 people are getting the care that they deserve. So if you've got pain in your spine, for example, that's from a pinched nerve, that's from an actual damage of your spine, you're going to get good care in this country. If you've got exactly the same pain coming from a neuroplastic brain generated process, you are going to get effectively a placebo.
You've got this huge gap in the quality of care. You've got millions of people not getting the care they deserve. It is truly a social injustice.
Yeah, it's amazing to think of it that way. 1 in 5,000, that was the reference. Yeah, yeah, and about 20% of Americans of...
Yeah, 50 million people. And there at the moment is nowhere near the number of practitioners that can meet that need. But the Association for Treatment of Neuroplastic Symptoms is growing every year.
The number of people that we're teaching about this is growing every year. The resources on our website that are scientifically based growing every year. So we are on the threshold of a change in medical history and that people are finally going to get the same quality of care as everybody else.
Yes. And like you said, it's not even just saying there's some kind of mind-body connection or CBT therapy, which is cognitive behavior therapy. It's not just, oh, you have this and there's a mind component to it.
So let's tell you how to cope with it. Do you call it pain reprocessing? I know there's so many different names.
Yeah, I lump them all together under pain relief psychology. There are three major types of pain relief psychology, and they've all got their individual research evidence behind them. But they share so many principles that it makes sense to me to just call them all by that one term.
You know, they're all about taking your focus off of the part of your body that has the symptom, shifting your attention to the brain, and then figuring out what is going on in the brain. What is the stress? What is the long-term impact of childhood adversity?
What is the life challenge? What are some of the buried emotions? Anger, fear, shame, grief, guilt, that people can have in volcanic levels without knowing it.
One of my patients was hospitalized at a prestigious university 60 times in 15 years. She was the first person I wrote about in my first book, They Can't Find Anything Wrong. 60 admissions, a dozen specialists, including a psychiatrist, very prestigious hospital, no diagnosis at all.
She was so discouraged. She ended up getting hospitalized at my hospital because she happened to have an attack here in Portland, Oregon. And she tried to kick me out of the room.
She said, Doctor, don't waste your time with me. I've already had all the tests. Nobody can figure out what's wrong.
You'd be better off seeing your other patients. Well, you know, I couldn't resist a challenge like that. So I said, you know, give me 30, 40 minutes.
Tell me your story one more time and we'll see if we can figure out what's happening. And, you know, to make a long story short, it turned out that all of her attacks of dizziness and vomiting were connected to encounters either direct or indirect with her abusive mother. And she had tremendous emotions with respect to this woman who was still mistreating her.
The patient was age 50, mom was in her 70s. Mom was still mistreating her in a terrible way after, you know, 47 years of this. So the emotions were all there, but she was completely unaware of what they were doing to her body.
That's amazing that you could put it together with the dizziness and vomiting.
All of her episodes we found were linked to encounters with her mom. And I should, you know, close the story by saying that in her case, just bringing that into conscious awareness cured her on the spot. She never had another attack.
I wish I could cure everybody with a one hour conversation, but she called me a year later, said, I've gone the entire year. She used to get between six and 10 of these terrible episodes every year. Half of them, she would be hospitalized for.
Didn't have a single one. Once she could understand where they were coming from, set some boundaries so that her mom wasn't going to have the same impact anymore. You know, that was a big part of what I did in our conversation was to empower her to, that she really needed to set those boundaries to the point where she wouldn't get symptoms ever again.
Amazing. I bet you have so many amazing stories. Are there any others that jump to mind that are just your favorites to share?
Well, actually, I put a bunch of them in a new course that we released early this year called Challenging Cases. I wanted to give people the feeling of actually encountering these patients in real life, and so we hired five actors to play roles of the key people in the stories of these patients. In one case, it was the patient's mother that was playing the role, but in the others, it was the actual patient that we were trying to recreate.
And those are some of my favorite stories, some of my most challenging cases. The first one, actually, it was early in my career, and as I tried to treat him, he got up and walked out of the room. He was not having any of my treatment.
But I learned from that case, and it taught me a lot about the depth of feeling that some people can have. And so I try to convey that in this challenging cases course. But yeah, there have been so many over the years that have had these incredible levels of symptoms.
One of them, she was a record for me in terms of the duration of her condition, 79 years of abdominal pain. And she was a nurse, so she had plenty of access to health care. She got all the diagnostic tests.
She had plenty of doctors look at her over the years. But not one of them, she was 87 years old, so she had the symptoms for 79 years. You do the math, and she's eight years old when it started.
And so, immediately I jumped to the question, did anything happen to you when you were eight?
Yeah.
And sure enough, she went through a terrible trauma when she was eight, and she was carrying a huge burden of guilt around that for all these decades. And nobody had ever made the connection to the beginning of her illness. And her treatment, which was very successful, was simply to write kind of an essay about what had happened when she was eight, and with the goal of alleviating the guilt she felt around that episode.
And that was enough, just putting, you know, putting emotions into words. First, feeling the emotions, recognizing the emotions, then putting them into words. The more they go into words, the less they need to be expressed into your body in the form of symptoms.
And worked very well for her, even after so many decades.
So it's like those repressed emotions were like that Olympic weight that she was just carrying and carrying around. And then once she could express that, her body didn't need to suffer the hit. And suffer that, yeah.
I know it gets so weird sometimes explaining the repressed emotions and how the body... But really, I think we can all see examples of that. When we kind of tell someone something and we don't really mean it, and it catches in our throat or our stomach kind of turns.
Or our bodies are sensitive. It happens more than we realize that our bodies are these barometers for us.
Yeah, I mean, we've all had the experience of feeling a knot in our abdomen when we're in a tense situation. You know, that's a brain to body reaction. Usually, you know that the situation is tense and you know why it's tense.
And you get this, you know, the body has always been part of our emotional reactions. You know, we can get, you know, blushing with embarrassment is another one. Pounding heart when you're afraid or excited is another one.
The body is always involved in emotions. Where the problem comes is if you've got an emotion and you're not aware of it. And then you get the body reaction without the brain knowing why.
And when the brain doesn't know why, it can't do anything about it. It's just going like, why is my body doing this? And it's a mystery.
So, but sometimes people can figure this out for themselves. Sometimes they need an app like Cureable to help them, or a book to help them get insights, or a therapist. Something to help them see the connection to where that emotion might be coming from.
But once they do, solution is on its way.
Yes, yes. And like you said, sometimes it's just even that realization. You don't have to cut off ties with that person, or you don't have to completely cut them out of your life necessarily, but just the realization.
I'm curious. Yeah, if you have any-
I just wanted to say that that was that, you bring up the hardest situation, which is when you are really angry at somebody that you also care about. And what do you do with that? That's very challenging.
And it takes people a long time to work it out. A big part of the issue too, is that people don't like to be angry at somebody they care about. And that's why they repress it.
But it's very, very common to be just volcanically angry at people that you still care about. And we have to find a way to balance those and give, you know, each of them their due. They both have a reason to be there.
And we have to acknowledge that. And sometimes it means setting boundaries. Sometimes it means limiting contact.
One of my patients had to have, you know, just for a period of six months, zero contact with the toxic parent in her life. And that's what she needed to get well. After that, she could begin to gradually reintroduce contact with this person.
But she had a lot of processing to do, and she needed six months to do it.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, do you have, would you say that you have, I mean, everyone is different.
In your experience, do you have a technique that you really like and recommend? I mean, there's so many different things from journaling to breathing to, you know, all the different things. But if you were to give some advice of your favorite or maybe top three things.
You know, most of my patients who have the most severe levels of illness, it's from the long-term impact of adverse childhood experiences or ACEs. And the long-term impact tends to fall into three major categories. And so I focus on helping people with all three.
The most difficult are the emotions, and we just talked about those. The second one is personality traits, that children develop when they're in a dysfunctional or toxic or adverse environment. They try to cope with it by being very good little kids, by being perfectionist, by being very self-critical, by not asserting themselves, by not learning how to play, we talked about earlier, by their self-esteem suffers.
So I try to help them with all those things by seeing, what did they learn about themselves as kids that isn't true? Did they learn that it's their job to help everybody else in the world and neglect their own needs? Did they learn that they're a second-rate person?
I try to help them see that when you're born into an environment like that, it's like parachuting into a dangerous jungle when you're a toddler. And through no fault of your own, you find yourself in this difficult environment. But you need to give yourself tremendous credit for having somehow found your way out of there.
And by giving yourself that credit, you are starting to flip yourself image from the negative one that you learned as a kid that's false into a positive one that you deserve for having made it through those difficult experiences. And then the third, and a lot of the toxic or stressful personality traits will begin to move and to shift into a more positive frame once you've made that shift about your own self-image. And then the third major area are the triggers, which are people, situations or events in your present day life, that are especially stressful for you because they are linked to the past in some way.
And often the most common is, like my patient who was hospitalized 60 times at the prestigious university, it was a person who mistreated her as a kid who was still in her life in the present day. That's probably the single most common kind of trigger. But there can be others, even some ironic ones.
Many of my patients who have just met the love of their life, somebody who is totally for them, that's when they get sick. And they get sick for two reasons. One is they've never had a person like this in their life before, so they're not sure they can trust it.
And they're worried that this wonderful person they have in their life is going to wake up one day and say, no, you're not who I really wanted. Even though there's no evidence for that whatsoever, it doesn't stop people worrying when they've never had this in their life before. And then the second reason is that if you decide that this person who thinks you're wonderful is actually right about you, then it means that you were actually quite a bit mistreated as a kid, that all those negative beliefs about yourself that you absorbed as basic assumptions when you were growing up, they're not true and you didn't deserve to have them inflicted on you.
And that's going to stir up a certain amount of justifiable anger that you had to go through that. And so that's, you know, obviously on balance extremely positive that you have this wonderful person in your life. But in the short run, it can stir some things up and can serve as a trigger.
Yeah. Yeah, it makes so much sense. And yeah, with that anger, you know, it's like we don't have to express anger to that person.
Sometimes that person isn't in our life anymore. They're not even in this world. And in this world, that's true, you know.
So, you know, there are ways, if people are looking for ways to express anger, it doesn't have to be, you know, that you go and get mad and yell at that person.
Yeah, that's right. You can, what I have a lot of my patients do is write them a letter that they don't mail. So you can do that even with somebody who's deceased.
Yes.
One of my patients took the letter to his father's grave and read it to him. And he told me that it took him four or five hours to read the whole thing and that by the end he was shouting, you know, he's there in the cemetery shouting at this gravestone. But when he was done, his symptoms were 90 percent better.
Wow.
Yeah. So very powerful technique. And when you write the letter, it doesn't have to be all bad.
You can put the good stuff in it too. Just try to put everything in it that you're feeling.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love that. Yeah. And even if the symptoms are better with this work, you look at all that other stuff that you develop, you know, the sense of self and compassion for yourself, and learning to stand up for yourself and take care of yourself.
And those are things that people might even do some therapy or coaching for, even if they didn't have pain, right? So it's like, these are good things to learn just as a general human, as an adult, as a parent. And then also, it takes away your chronic pain.
Yeah. It's a great thing about this work is that in parallel with alleviating the physical symptoms, it makes for changes in people's characters that lead to a better life for them. Many of my patients, you know, I'm always remember one who, we don't have to go into a lot of detail about who she was, but she was known to the public.
And the, she had had one rotten boyfriend after another, her entire adult life, as you know, part of the outgrowth of growing up in a dysfunctional home. But when she went through this work, she suddenly had a much higher level of respect for herself and how much, you know, even though she'd been quite successful in her career, she kind of felt like an imposter, that she was, you know, just fooling people, because she'd had it, you know, drilled into her that she was a failure as a kid. And when she finally realized that she wasn't a failure, she had just been one of these people who's parachuted into the Amazon and found her way out, and that she could take a huge amount of pride in having done that, and that she was no longer going to tolerate being in a relationship with anybody who didn't recognize the quality person that she was.
And as soon as she recognized this about herself and accepted, you know, how strong a person she was, dumped her boyfriend the next day, went without a boyfriend for a year and a half, which was about 12 or 15 times longer than she'd ever gone without a boyfriend before. And then the guy comes along because she wasn't going to put up with anybody who didn't fully respect her. And a guy came along who fully respected her and they've been together for a decade or more now.
So it was not just a relief of physical symptoms for her, it was a major life change.
Yes. And I've seen that with parents where, you know, when they start showing up differently and they're not in pain and they're thinking differently, like their kids even show up differently or their partner does. Not that that's why we want to do it either, but sometimes there are those side benefits of like, you know, we're not as ornery and irritated with our kids.
And then the kids kind of show up a little happier too sometimes.
And so, all in all. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it makes the families definitely improve from that.
And what you're doing there is you're breaking the cycle. If you came from a family that was toxic or dysfunctional, you don't have to do the same thing to your own family.
Yeah, even just realizing you can have different emotions, kids can express their emotions. So many times I see parents saying, don't cry, don't cry, you know, and just, I think this is shifting a lot of people's ways of being and so it is, it's breaking those generational cycles and there's anything, I guess, good from all of this physical pain, it's that this awareness is coming out of it and all this change.
Yeah, I think it's going to, once it's spread throughout the healthcare profession, once the general public becomes aware that your brain can create any level of pain or illness in the body and that there's a solution for it, the impact on healthcare is going to be tremendous and the impact on the next generation is going to be tremendous too.
Yeah, they'll look back at this podcast episode and might be like, man, they knew what they were talking about.
That's right, that's right. We should have listened to Betsy right from the start. Yeah.
Man, she was right after all. She knew Dr. Clarke was awesome. Well, so good.
I think you're right. I feel like even just in the last five years that I've been studying this work, it's just skyrocketed and maybe that's just my reticular activating system seeing more of what I want to see. But it really does seem like people are becoming more aware.
Yeah. 15 years ago, most of us who do this work had no idea there was anybody else out there that was doing it. Now, six weeks ago, we had 270 people in a scientific lovefest in Boulder, Colorado and we're just going to have to do it again next year.
I can't wait. I made a few reels and social media posts about it and people were like, I've got to come next year. That looks so fun.
I was like, it was so fun. I mean, we learned stuff too, but you guys really made it such a great warm, welcoming atmosphere and it was just electrifying. It was so exciting.
There was just energetic there.
Yeah. I would just finish reading the comments in our post-conference survey. It's not like I attended some nice presentations, kind of thing.
It's like this was life-changing. This was the best conference I ever went to in my life. You know, those kinds of things that you just don't normally see from a scientific conference.
Yeah, absolutely. You're on to something good and I'm glad to be a part of it.
So very much appreciated, Betsy. Really, anybody who's helping us get the word out about this is one of our people and we love talking to you.
Well, I am so glad and I'm sure many people will enjoy hearing this. So thank you so much for your time. I know you really spend a lot of time promoting and talking to people and getting the word out.
I really just can't thank you enough because even if it just helps one more person, that's a whole life that was changed.
So yeah, incredibly rewarding work to do this for the clinicians out there that are listening. If you learn how to do this, there's nothing that's more rewarding as a professional.
Yes. So I will be sure to put your contact info and the website there. Thanks again for all the work you do and for being here today.
Thank you very much. It's been a pleasure.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review.
And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #134- Stress, the Subconscious and Pain- Interview with Jim Prussack, the Pain PT Oct 18, 2024

Fellow Physical Therapist, Jim Prussack, joins me today for an interesting interview about his experience moving from PT to pain reprocessing Coach.
We discuss the principles of PRT (pain reprocessing therapy), and how we treat differently using a mind vs body based approach.
Check out Jim at https://www.thepainpt.com/

>>> If you have not yet given my podcast a rating or review, PLEASE do that here:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode #133- Embracing Your Emotions Meditation Aug 15, 2024

This Meditation will help you find and process your emotions.

Many of us have learned to subconsciously repress our emotions, to talk ourselves out of them or judge ourselves for having them.

But we also know that what you resist persists.

So sometimes the best way to “get rid of the emotion” is actually to lean into and embrace it.

Emotions are just sensations, and can not hurt you as long as you don’t resist them.

Allowing your emotions and learning to feel them safely will prevent them from being expressed through your body.

Today’s meditation is based on Dr Howard Schubiner’s “Embracing Emotions Meditation” from “Unlearn Your Pain.”

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

Episode # 132- Hypnosis for Pain Relief with Melissa Tiers Aug 05, 2024

Join me today to hear Hypnotist, Melissa Tiers, as we discuss integrative hypnosis and how it helps with chronic pain.

Melissa has been training clinicians in the use of hypnosis for pain relief for over 25 years and her own chronic pain history was pivotal in the creation of her pain protocols.

Melissa struggled with years of migraines and is now migraine-free through this approach (as long as she stays congruent! Listen for more details as to what that all means...)

We discuss the unconscious lens, how to be more mindful, and how to change your memories through memory reconsolidation

Addressing the subconscious directy is the fastest way to see change.

Melissa Tiers is a multi-award winning author, lecturer, key note speaker and hypnosis trainer. She is the founder of The Center for Integrative Hypnosis, co founder of The Ethical Coaching Collective and creator of Coaching the Unconscious Mind. Melissa has earned three IMDHA Pen and Quill awards for her books, Integrative Hypnosis, Keeping the brain in mind, and Integrative Hypnosis for kids and teens:Playing for change.

Check out "Integrative Hypnosis for Pain Relief" by Melissa Tiers

Thursday, August 8, 6:00-8:00 pm EST

https://www.centerforintegrativehypnosis.com/offers/FNGSVfrz/checkout

Find Melissa at https://www.melissatiers.com/

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

Episode # 131- Life After 30 Years of Chronic Pain- with Renee May 29, 2024

Today I interviewed Renee Kammer, who has an amazing healing story. From 30 years of chronic pain and 5 years being bed bound, to now hiking, biking, and gardening.
Renee had several diagnoses, including:

Stiff person’s syndrome, Ulcerative colitis, Rheumatoid arthritis, Ankylosing spondylitis, Fibromyalgia, Headaches, Migraines, Back pain, Hip pain, Anxiety, Depression, Pelvic pain/ IC, Chronic fatigue, Chest pain and High blood pressure.

Renee joined Alignment Academy and went through all of the exercises in Dr Schubiner's workbook to unlearn her pain.

She got off 14 medications in the last year, and has been feeling better and better!

She now has more joy and hope in her life, and is even starting a baking business with her new found time and energy.
Listen here for Renee's story.

And if you want to apply the work Renee did to your life this summer, be sure and check out my Book Club Integration Group!

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/book-club-integration-group

Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 131, Life After 30 Years of Chronic Pain with Renee. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. Hello, my loves. Today we have an amazing episode, an amazing testimonial from Renee.
I want you to listen to her story and apply anything that you can to your life, to what you're going through. Hi, everyone. Welcome.
Today we have a special guest, Renee. She has such an amazing story. So welcome, Renee.
Hi, it's good to be here.
Great, great. It's so good having you. Renee has been in my coaching group, Alignment Academy.
Oh, I was going to look up how long. Less than a year, I think, right?
I think it's been since November, December.
Yeah. So about like six months, seven months. And you've made such amazing progress.
You were already on your way of this journey of like, getting rid of some medicines and some things. We'll go into your story, but watching your progress has been amazing. And I think it will be really inspirational for people.
So let's just go ahead with maybe just a little bit about yourself and how you got to having chronic pain and the symptoms that you had.
So my name is Renee. I live in Ohio and I grew up just across the river in Kentucky. I have two kids, a son who's 14 and a daughter who is going to be 17 next month.
I've been married to my husband Justin for 23 years, and I love life.
When I go to tell my story, it always starts when I was younger because as far back as I can remember, I remember carrying around Pepto-Bismol, because my stomach was always upset as a kid.
As a kid, yeah.
Yes, and it was kind of a family joke, you know, that she always has that Pepto with her. But my stomach was always upset, and I can see now that was just a lot of anxiety and worry. But there were just, there were several things that had happened with friends and in my life.
When I was about 16, that I started getting chronic pain then. And so my story goes back over 30 years of chronic pain. It's honestly, when I think about it, it can be a bit overwhelming to see that the majority of my life, I've not known anything but pain.
Right. Yeah. Yeah.
We're getting deep fast here. But there's a happy ending though, you guys.
Just very happy.
But yeah, that's a lot, right?
It's a long time. It's a long time. And so although I've had much easier years here and there coming and going, my body always managed to drag me down.
And so I guess the relief that I feel now at being free from pain and not living in fear is just, it's so incredible. I have not felt like this the majority of my adult life.
That is an amazing transformation.
It's crazy. Yeah.
Okay. So as far as your diagnoses that you've had or that you've been diagnosed with, do you have kind of a summary or a list so we can have an idea of what you were diagnosed with and how severe it was?
So my latest diagnosis was actually stiff person syndrome. That was the last two years, which is a muscle disease, which they thought it might be autoimmune. But I think I proved that one wrong.
I've been diagnosed with that when I have ulcerative colitis. I've been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis for years. I was treated for enclosing spondylitis, which is just another form of arthritis.
I've been treated for years for fibromyalgia, for headaches and migraines, back pain, hip pain, anxiety and depression.
There were years that I went through therapy for pelvic pain and intercistal cystitis, chronic fatigue, chest pain, high blood pressure. All of those were diagnoses that I've had.
And years actually include a lot of autoimmune ones too, which is kind of on the rare side. That's an area where that can cause physical damage and physical disease, and also can be regulated by the nervous system, can be controlled by the brain's interpretation of safety or danger. So you really defied some odds here.
You're kind of the unicorn.
You know, when reading the book, I read what Dr. Schubiner had to say about those diseases, but I decided that maybe it wasn't true for everyone who had that. And I was going to give it an honest shot and see if it really, you know, if it helped me.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, so this is fascinating. Like, how bad was it as far as like, what did your daily life look like at kind of at its worst?
And then how did you come to this work where you were just like, I'm going to give it an honest shot and just see what happens.
I have had a life that was very active. My kids were active. I had had jobs.
I had had a life years ago that I loved, that I managed to do well in despite some chronic pain. And then about five years ago, when chronic pain took over my life, I went from being an active wife and mom and sister and friend and church member and all of volunteer to living at home in my bed. I was in my bed all of the time.
The things that I needed, my extra water or snacks, were just a few steps out of bed, so I didn't have to travel far. People came to my house to see me, to visit. I didn't go visiting.
I didn't attend very many of my kids' games, get-togethers. I stopped all my volunteer work, which was really heartbreaking for me. I used to teach.
I wasn't able to do that anymore. I didn't get to do a lot of my work at the church, which really, it all just really made me sad. And there was just so much that I couldn't participate in because unless it happened from my bed or my couch, then it didn't happen at all.
And I wasn't going to live that way the rest of my life. My kids had things going on, and I wanted to be a part of my husband's life, my family's lives. And so I started looking for a way out of that.
Yeah. And then how did you come to this work, and how did that go for you?
I had downloaded the Cureable app, and I think I probably got it when it had a couple months free. And then the subscription snuck up on me, and I thought come out of my bank account, and I was like, oh, you know, I've not even used that. I had better go try it out since I just paid for it.
I better go see what's on there. And so I read some of it and thought, I don't know about this. This is different.
Oh, really? Yes.
In all of my years of being sick, I just had not come across any of this mind-body work, which really blows my mind. And so I was researching, I came across your Instagram. I was researching some ideas that I had found out from the Cureable app, and I listened to the success stories.
And oh my goodness, if these people can do it, why can't I? I mean, I had tried everything, and I was just so done with being in pain. It absorbed my days.
Yeah. And you were taking a lot of medications too, right?
Yes.
And have you already started getting off some of those medications? Because you came off quite a lot of medications. Was that all just since Cureable or was some of that before?
Some of that was before. I went to the ER last spring with high blood pressure. It was extremely high.
And they automatically put me on three blood pressure medications.
Oh, wow.
And I came home and had quite a few side effects to those. And I was like, you know what? This is not what I want.
I had a friend because I have been in a wheelchair the last couple of years. I had a friend take me to my regular, my family physician, and we were going through the medications about a year ago, and she gets, oh, my goodness, you take all of that medicine? And I said, yeah.
I mean, I know that they had listed off about 16 things. And I thought, you know what? This is getting kind of crazy.
And I knew that I had a lot of side effects from the medications. And so I guess after getting other people's reactions to those and realizing how crazy it was to actually be on all of that medication, that I decided I was going to start getting off of them.
Okay. So yeah. So you'd already started that, and then you found curable.
And checked into it, and it didn't resonate really at first.
Yes. And so then once I followed your Instagram and did a lot more research, I thought, okay, you know, maybe this is something for me. And in the course of the last, I would say, 14 months, I have got off of almost 14 medications.
Yeah, that is amazing. It blows my mind. Like you guys, Renee's story, it's so incredible, and it just keeps getting more and more incredible.
So yeah.
Do you want me to tell you some of them?
Yeah.
Because these are hard hitters, I feel like.
Oh my gosh.
Oxycodone. Neurontin, I was on 2,400 milligrams of Neurontin a day.
Effexor. 100 milligrams of Baclofen a day. Clonopin.
Carvetilol. Welbutrin. And then I did Botox for my migraines every three months, as well as a monthly emgality syringe for my migraines.
Yeah. And then, you know, a handful of other medications, but some heavy medicines.
Those are some heavy medicines. Yeah, absolutely. This is so inspirational.
So just including kind of a whole variety of different medicines that you've been able to get off of. And I'm sure there were some difficult times, I would imagine. And then also, at least from my perspective, it's looked like in a way it's gone easier than you might expect.
How would you say that has been for you as far as getting off the medications?
After trying one and feeling better, it kind of gave me a boost of just a little bit of like self-empowerment. Like, hey, this is good. You can do this.
Then it was almost like I had so many, I couldn't wait to get off of them quick enough, you know. It takes a month to go off of this. And I'm thinking, oh my goodness, I want to be off of two in the next month, you know.
Okay, amazing.
My doctor didn't know what to think about me continually saying, and these are the next three that I want to get off of, and these are the next two.
Yeah, that's probably opposite of the trend that they see. And, you know, might even cause some concern. Like, wait, you can't just get off of these kinds of medicines.
You need them for this reason. But tell us more about what was helping you when you learned about this information. That was helping you get off of these medicines.
So one thing that I learned, and before I started your Alignment Academy, I also went through and listened to all of your podcasts. I listened to all of the podcasts from Alan Gordon. I read a lot of information, and I felt like being educated with this information empowered me so that I could make, not only, I thought it was a good decision.
I felt like it was a better decision since I researched it. It wasn't something I woke up and decided to do one day. Like, I put a lot of energy and time.
The more I read and researched, listened to podcasts, I figured out that there was another way to exist, rather than the way that I had been existing. And the way I had been existing was not fun or easy.
It was full of joy. It just wasn't.
Yeah, exactly. Even with all of the interventions and medications, it wasn't like you were feeling better. You were probably feeling worse and worse and worse every year.
Usually what happens is that it spreads, gets more progressive.
Yes. And I lived in fear. I always lived in fear.
For the past, I can look back for the past 20 years, anytime I would get to feeling better, enjoy it for the fear of worrying about what would happen when it came back.
Yes.
And it was almost as if it was something I didn't have control over.
Yeah, right. Because your nervous system is subconscious and you're in this high alert, you're in this fear-based state, which we also know from neuroscience increases your pain, increases your symptoms. So it's just this vicious cycle.
And that's why chronic pain and chronic symptoms are more like that habit of the brain and that feedback loop. So yeah, starting to realize you don't have to live that way. There's hope.
It sounds like you had some hope that something could change for you.
I realized I said to myself exactly what Dr. Schubiner said. I have my body syndrome and I can cure it.
Yeah. And you would say that to yourself?
I said that to myself all of the time.
All of the time, yeah.
I didn't order Dr. Schubiner's book until the beginning of 2024, and I threw it fairly quickly. I got off of my medications mostly in 2023, started the Alignment Academy, and then the more I heard you talk about research-based practices and the book, I thought, okay, I'm going to have to try that. And so once I went through Dr. Schubiner's book, that was kind of like the light switch.
Yeah. And what do you mean by going through, like doing the exercises, doing the meditations, right? Not just reading, but like...
I not only read it, but I worked through every page in that book. I found that the exercises are so relevant to people who have chronic pain, even anxiety and depression.
Things that they had held on to. You know, some of the things that surprised me most about my bodywork was that like physical pain and emotional pain are processed in the same area.
Yeah.
That is really strange. You know, I had never heard that. I'm a highly emotional person.
I have a lot of personality traits that go along with many people who have, you know, mind body syndrome issues. And when I started reading this, I was surprised that our brain is so powerful and that we have so much control over our bodies. I had thought that I was at the mercy of my body.
Yeah.
And I said things like, my body hates me and I hate it, you know. My body is just difficult. It likes to be in pain.
It likes very negatively. And then I realized that I could switch the way I was thinking. And it's not my body that likes that.
It's my brain.
Yeah.
That has made those neural pathways just almost in concrete, you know. Yeah.
And then it's like, oh, it's not just a belief, because I have all this evidence. I have years and years of proof, but also you can learn from this work. That's predictive coding and your brain.
Yeah, those are learned neural pathways that can be unlearned.
And another thing that surprised me was that, I think it was in Alan Gordon's book, that he said when the pain becomes chronic, it shifted to parts of the brain associated with learning and memory.
Yes.
And I was like, that's really strange. Like, it's almost like I have memorized how this pain feels. You know, my body has learned it.
Yeah.
And it was very interesting. The more I looked at my internalized beliefs, and things I would say to myself, the things I had believed about myself for years, I realized they didn't have to be true.
Amazing.
And a lot of that was your voice in my head going, well, what if it's not? What if it's not true?
Yes, that's the best question. Just opening the door, just a crack. That's what I say.
It's like, you don't even have to know. Just posing the question to your brain. What if this is a programmed behavior?
What if this could be just the same as if they gave someone a placebo, they would have that same effect, right? Like, who knows? So, oh, I'm glad.
I'm glad you had my voice in your head saying, what if it's not?
I remember you saying something like every, now that you've looked back, every major medical or health issue, there was some kind of emotional trauma or issue at the same time, right?
In Dr. Schubiner's book, he has, near the beginning, he has you list the ages you are and the symptoms that you felt, the diagnosis maybe that came on. And so once I did that, going back to when I was younger, I could look and see that every physical manifestation of one of my diagnosis started with an emotional threat feeling, something happening along that time. And I thought, how powerful is that?
That these emotional traumas or these emotional times have like guided my way to this physical spot that I'm in now.
Yeah.
I had never looked at things like that. And so it was like 180 degrees, like it was like flipping a mirror on itself.
Yeah. And yeah, maybe that's why you have had such a powerful belief in it, is because you took the time to do that work and to really connect the dots. And it's kind of like not fun maybe to go through your history and to take the time to think about it.
But it's so powerful. It's like your own personal road map of exactly emotionally and physically what got you here. And so you know what to unravel, what the cause is, the real cause, the real root cause for you, versus someone else who might have a little different history.
So I think the powerful stuff about this work is that you can even tie it to, you know, he has a section about like, how did your father treat you? And how did you, your family view money? And how did, right?
So all of these things play a factor in our nervous system and our feeling of safety or fear. And if we got programmed to be in that fear response a lot, then it can show up in our bodies for a lot of people, right?
So I didn't have early childhood trauma. I didn't have hardly any childhood trauma. And that's when I started, I thought, you know, I don't know that this will work for me because I didn't necessarily.
However, I have a lot of early adult medical trauma. And also coupled with just who I am as a person, my personality traits. And I'm learning, thanks to you again, to look at those through a positive lens, rather than a negative lens.
I have always looked at being an empathetic person as something that is a detriment. The energy that it can take from me. And the emotion that is always follows every action, word, you know, glance.
And I'm learning that I can use those positively.
Yes.
Rather than it just being negative in my life. Yeah.
Oh, I just saw an Instagram post I'm going to share that was saying there's actually research that highly empathetic people are actually better at doing this work and being successful with it. So although we are quicker to learn those negative patterns in our nervous system, we're also quicker to remodel them and change them, right? So that can even be a new positive that I hadn't heard about before.
Yes. I like that. Yeah.
Yeah.
So exactly seeing like, okay, I have some special gifts. If I learn how to kind of see what my body's telling me and some basic kind of ways to manage my nervous system, then it becomes more like a barometer. And this stuff in my body becomes kind of my extra sensory perception, right?
Like I have this information that other people don't. But seen as like, you know, oh, something must be wrong physically with me. It's very easy to see how like you would get to that place of thinking something's just wrong with me.
My body's always going to be in pain. But like, what kinds of things are you doing now? Just to give people an idea of like coming from bed bound, wheelchair bound.
What are your activities like now?
So in Dr. Schubiner's book, he has you list goals that you have. Two weeks from now, two months from now, six months from now. And it was really hard.
Just like I said, I started back in January. It was really hard for me to come up with much because part of my nervous system was saying, don't reach too far. Don't try too much.
You don't want to fail at that. Don't do your.
Oh yeah. And you don't want to fail, right? Oh, don't, you don't look stupid or don't.
Don't write a bunch of things down that you're not going to be able to accomplish.
So it took a little while for me to start writing things down. And then what I did. And I just come to this realization.
A week or two ago, I can do anything that I want to now because I'm healthy.
It's a whole new world for me. It's a whole new world. And so I have taken every opportunity that I could to get out and to hype because I love it.
And I love the feeling of my muscles being just a tad bit sore from walking uphill. Because I can remember when laying in bed and my muscles hurt, I laid there with heating pads on me and my muscles hurt. And so now I can be out.
And it's kind of what they call the good hurt, you know, walking on the hills, hiking. We have been biking, which I love to bike. I have been gardening.
I love my flower garden and our vegetable garden. And I got so excited that I could finally plant flowers by myself without having to just buy them and let my husband do them for me. That planted over 50 bulbs.
Oh my gosh.
I bet it's coming up and they're beautiful.
Yeah. So are there any things in the garden that you're like, okay, I just can't do that? Because I think you said you were even shoveling.
I was. I woke up one morning on a Sunday morning. I showed up at church and I said, I'm just so sore.
And my mom said, well, what have you been doing? And I said, I had the shovel and the mattock out yesterday. And she said, oh, my goodness, honey, that would make anybody sore.
And I thought, yes. And I was able to do it. It was almost like I saw them sitting there.
I saw the shovel and the ground was a bit rocky, the mattock and the rake and thought, well, why not try that? Why not buy that?
Amazing.
And it worked. And I found that that's been a huge key to my recovery, is kind of going at things playfully. Like, why not just try it?
Yeah.
What if it's okay? What if it works?
Yeah, it's possible. It might feel good to my body to do that movement.
And it does. It feels wonderful and it's very fulfilling.
Yeah. Could you even talk a little bit about how going to the store has changed for you? Because that is just, it's just so sweet.
I love hearing about it.
I was at the store a couple weeks ago and I saw a friend and she said, hi, and we conversed back and forth. I think was in there just getting a few things. The next week I saw her at another store and she said, how is it we're always seeing each other at the grocery store?
And I said, well, I'm just so tickled to go to the grocery store now because for years I couldn't go unless someone went with me and pushed me in my wheelchair. And I said, I'm just so excited now. If we need one thing, I'm like, I'll go to the store and I get up and if we need just some fruit, I get up and go to the store for some fruit.
And if we need some meat or something, I get up and go to the store for that. Because I'm just so excited to be able to do simple things like running to the grocery store for something to eat for dinner that night. It really is a privilege now to be able to get up and move.
Yeah, really, it just gives you that just gratitude for those little things. And probably the prognosis was like, it's probably not going to get any better, right?
Like, before you go, many, many doctors. And I had a couple of foot surgeries in 2020 and 2021 right around COVID. And they didn't go well.
The surgeries didn't go well. And the doctor had told me, I'm sorry, this is probably how it's going to be the rest of your life. He had, you know, doomed me to a life of pain and walking awkwardly the way I was walking.
And so I internalized that for years. Just the things that I did differently with impact were impacted because of just the things that he had said to me as far as how my life was destined to look in the future.
Yeah.
Because of his pronouncement. That, and he didn't even, he didn't know me well at all.
Yeah, just kind of like a medical, you know, if it doesn't go well statistically in this amount of time, you're probably going to have chronic pain. You know, like that's just like, okay, that's what we see happen.
And I realize I let that identify, be part of my identity for years.
Yeah, it'd be easy. Even when you learn about this work, it'd be easy to say, well, I have some post-surgical pain because I really have some structural changes there and my structure is just different. But also we know that people can have their back shape like an S with scoliosis and get out of pain without straightening out their back.
So maybe there is this structural difference even with the surgery, but is there chronic pain with walking anymore? Do you feel like that's one of the things that you're not fearing anymore?
Right, I used to limit myself to so many steps a day under like 500 steps.
Oh, yeah.
And the beginning of April, I took my first big hike. And I can't even tell you how many steps we had done. I don't know, seven to ten thousand that day or some crazy number.
I remember looking at my step counter and thinking, I just showed every doubt in my mind. I just showed them who was boss. Because there is nothing holding me back.
And what is funny was we started out that hike. And of course, a couple of the hot spots on my body, my foot, my hip, you know, started having sensation. And I thought, no, no way.
We are not doing this. Thank you for saying hello. But I've got a goal to reach today.
And you're not going to get in my way. I've just learned that I can decide my future and decide, regardless of what a doctor has pronounced as my diagnosis or what maybe it's labeled as in my chart. I don't have to live like that.
I can be labeled as anxiety, have anxiety and depression. But I don't have to live like that. I have the power to get better.
Yeah. Yeah. So empowering.
Were there any times, well, and I already know from coaching you, but let's talk about the times. How about that? It wasn't like just smooth sailing.
In case anyone is getting the idea that it's like, okay, I just did these exercises. I read the book, every day was better and better. And now I'm just like, ta-da, better.
You know, like, let's talk about some of the maybe unexpected times or difficult times.
So I was getting my hair done a couple months ago, maybe even a month ago. And I was sitting there and I had pain, which I usually call sensations, and going down my leg. And for some reason that day, I didn't get on top of it immediately.
And I started into C6Fs. I was fearing it, and I was frustrated. And immediately thought, like, how can I fix it?
I was focused on it. And all of this stuff. And about 15 minutes into rubbing my leg, and trying to make a plan, an alternate plan and stuff, I thought, oh, Renee, you handled that incorrectly.
Here's what you should have done. And so I came home that afternoon, and got out and took a walk, because I knew that physical activity usually brought those sensations back. And took a walk, and it came back.
And I did that intentionally, so that I could take an opportunity, do better the next time. So that when they came back, I could say, hi, thank you for saying hello. I'm glad to see that my hip is still in the game.
Today, we are not paying attention to that. We're not going to look at that. I think it's Alan Gordon.
Every time I have a pain, it's an opportunity, the fire.
Yeah, yep, Alan Gordon.
And so that's what I started to look at. I came home to replicate that pain, so that I use it as an opportunity to rewire my brain, rather than letting that one incidence take precedence in my brain. So that was one I did on purpose.
I also remember calling in to you in the past, for the most part. I lived in fight or flight mode all the time, and it was one or the other. There was no neutral ground, and my body didn't really know what that felt like.
It didn't know what neutral felt like. It didn't know what calm felt like. And so as I started to regulate my nervous system, there were many times that it was uncomfortable.
And so I remember I couldn't wait to happen on the weekend. I thought, I have got to talk to Betsy because I'm done. I am done because this is miserable.
This feeling of my nervous system being out of sorts, wasn't comfortable to me. And I actually said something that is in Dr. Schubiner's book. I said, give me my pain back rather than my anxiety, because at least I know how to deal with that.
Yeah.
Isn't that fascinating? Yeah, that was an interesting call and just classic of like, sometimes called the river of misery when you're changing, or cognitive dissonance, or like you said, the nervous system isn't used to feeling more regulated. And so that can feel unsafe.
And there's just this, you know, like there's anxiety sometimes or depression. And I think there's even kind of both going on with you. And then you're like, I just wish I had the pain back, because like you said, I knew how to handle that.
I could have heating pads or whatever. But this, but it was temporary, right?
Just like growing pains.
Yeah, exactly. Just like growing pains. It actually can be seen as a sign of this is your expansion.
This is your growth edge. This is why this is uncomfortable right now, because it's a stretch.
And I learned to not necessarily like that growth feeling, but to know that something better is coming, because I wouldn't trade this for anything.
Yes.
I wouldn't trade feeling better for anything. And so, you know, if you have to go through a few growing pains, it's definitely worth it. It has not been smooth sailing, but it has overwhelmingly been positive.
Yeah, yeah.
I continue to show up, I think.
Yes, exactly.
To put in the work.
That is something about you, exactly. Like in Alignment Academy, it's the group coaching, and you don't necessarily come to every call. You don't have to, but the calls are recorded and people who can't come can listen back.
And so there are some people that are in Alignment Academy that really just listen to the calls, and you show up consistently, and you're kind of like a character there, because one of my clients was like, oh, you know those group calls, I love listening to those. I love Renee. She's inspired by you.
Because you don't come every week, and every week we share a win, if you come for coaching, and you're always able to find a win. But also sometimes, it hasn't just been rosy and happy, and things are just getting better and better. It's like, hey, is this even working for me?
What's going on? I want to quit, right? So yeah, but you did keep showing up, and that is how we grow.
That is how we change, is not just giving up when it gets hard, even though it would be easier to just be like, well, this work is just too hard. I don't know, it's not for me. I do have all the structural things.
It's probably that.
Right.
Yeah. I was going to change the subject. Do you have any insight for us on how the, if there were any personality type changes or emotional changes that you've felt, that you've like, maybe an example of how you've seen that change in your life, right?
If you were more of a people pleaser and now, you know, something else has changed or perfectionist or like, how has that shown up in your life in a positive way?
In my Unlearn Your Pain book, one of the letters that I had written was actually to myself, and it was about being a chronic people pleaser, making sure that others were okay before I was okay. Yeah. And that has been so hard because as a Christian, mainly I am always wanting to put others ahead of myself.
I'm wanting to remain, you know, have humility, be humble. But I learned there's a difference between that and putting yourself first. If I'm right.
Yeah.
Like putting yourself first is actually the best thing to help other people.
Yeah.
Rather than as you should put everyone else first and you're last.
Yes.
Is not a way to live your life.
Right. I realized that I wasn't helping anyone out by remaining like that.
And as much as I thought that making sure everyone else was happy, okay, satisfied, all it did was hurt me more in the process. And so, my chronic people pleasing has gotten a lot better. And you know, I've learned to make myself okay with the fact that you don't have to.
You don't have to be completely happy with me. You don't have to be happy with my choices. Yeah, because I'm okay with that.
Because that has more to do with them anyway than you, right? It has more to do with their beliefs and how they're feeling that day and how much sleep they got, right? Like whatever it is.
And I can only control me.
I was wondering if you could talk a little bit about what's going on for you now that you have really had more bandwidth so that you're not having to think about preventing your pain and chronic pain and all of these things all day. What have you been able to do with your time and what do you see for yourself in the future?
So I actually am excited about my future. And that is something that's so different even from six months ago, because six months ago, my future was figuring out ways to spend my time when I was in bed.
All of my hobbies included things I could do while sitting down, not spending much energy. And so once I started feeling better, I realized that my future would look a lot different. And so it continues to evolve almost week by week, which is really cool.
But I am super excited.
I'm going to be starting a home bakery for people who have gluten and dairy allergies. And so, you know, just even two years ago, I was not able to cook dinner for my family.
Yeah.
All of the, everything, the cooking, the housework, the working a full-time job went on my husband. And although he did it like a champ, I'm thrilled to be able to be back to being in the kitchen and baking and cooking. And so I'm going to be doing that.
We are planning bike trails to do this summer.
Nice. And any future vacation plans can also include things that are active.
Yes.
I'll share with you three, two or three years ago, we went to the beach with some of my family. And we were in an upstairs unit, or well, it was a two story house. And I could go to the beach one time a day.
That's when my husband would pack me down the stairs on his back and carry me out to the beach. And then I got in a beach wheelchair, special wheelchair, and rolled me out into the water. And I remember maybe one day, two days, I stood up and enjoyed the water, but I didn't do anything, any walking.
And I would sit back in my beach wheelchair, and we would do the whole thing again, he would pack me back in the house. And can I even tell you how exciting, you know, now I can run down the stairs, run out there, play in the water, and play in the water and enjoy the sun and the heat. It is just a completely different life.
Yeah.
I'm so thankful.
Amazing. It's one of the most amazing stories that I've heard, because the length and the amount of, you know, reasons that you would have to say it's not going to work for me, but just kind of a combination of the right information for you at the right time and pieces falling together and getting the support that you needed and just being willing to dive in and do the work and uncover those emotions and start to see how those emotions are really what's, you know, triggering this pain and these habits. Amazing.
Amazing.
It is great.
Yeah. Well, are there any other things that you can think of that we haven't touched on that you wanted to share?
I love life. I've always loved life. I've enjoyed.
Shoot, I about started crying again.
That's all right.
I love being a mom and a wife, a sister and a friend. I am a Christian, love Jesus. I love going to church and my church family.
There's a lot to enjoy about my life. Once I started working with you, Betsy, and learning more about mind-body syndrome, I found even more to love about my life and realized it was so much fuller than what it ever was before.
Thank you. You've changed my life.
Thank you for sharing that. I feel so good hearing that, and I just am accepting that, that thanks, and I'm just helping you with this information, just passing it along, and you've done so well with just applying it in your life, having that attitude of excitement and curiosity rather than fear. I mean, of course, some fear, but really turning towards those, like, what are the possibilities for me?
What might I be able to do if I kind of stumble? How can I do it a little differently next time?
And I asked you a couple months ago, what would you do differently as a parent now after doing this? And you basically said, you know, once you know better, you do better. And as you change, you know, it'll change, and it'll change the way you do things.
And I've seen that so clearly, just even over the past couple months.
Yeah.
And I just really enjoy that because I parented out of a lot of fear and pain.
Yes.
Obviously, I didn't really have a choice.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm so forgiving myself for a lot of that.
My daughter has several issues that coincidentally got much, much better when I did.
Whoa, Renee. Oh my gosh. Okay.
So that is so cool. That concept of what I was telling you in that answer is like, it's okay to focus on yourself. It is good to, you know, get yourself regulated first and then it becomes clear how to parent.
But when we're rushing around, trying to figure out this person says this and this is this and it's confusing. It's overwhelming. We can't really show up.
So the focus just goes back to what we're learning with resolving your pain, resolving your anxiety, depression, regulate your nervous system, get into more of that calm state. And then, you know, sometimes people around you all of a sudden start getting calmer too. Right.
You don't have to change them.
My nervous system. Yes. The way that I parent.
Yes.
Change the way that my kids behave. It truly has, it truly starts with me. And I guess that's probably something I should have said when we were talking about, you know, people pleasing.
Is it does start with a regulated nervous system. Yeah. But always walking around in flight or fight or freeze.
Yeah.
I know what it's like to feel regulated. And to feel calm and content.
Yeah.
And so now I can aim for that with my kids.
Yes.
That's a great gift that I can give them.
Right. That is such a good point. It's like investing that time, that money, that devotion to yourself without feeling, you know, selfish or like, this is a bad thing to do.
It's putting yourself first.
Yes.
That's where it all starts. Like you just really have to, because otherwise you're just, you know, you're reacting to however your kids are feeling. And kids are not great at regulating their emotions.
It's going to feel however the lowest person in the room feels, but knowing, and especially being empathic, right. But then knowing like, oh, okay, this is what's going on. It's just a fawn response.
I was taught very young to be in this fawn response, and I'm a people pleaser, because that's what my nervous system learned was safe. And so now I can recognize that, and I know it feels this way in my body, and I can do something different that doesn't feel so itchy in my body. And then I show up with resentment, or I, right, if I'm people pleasing, it's not really that nice to them.
It's not really in the long run good for any.
That's right. Our most our attitude, our words, when they come out of that spot, resentment, anger. Yeah, they're not a help.
They're not a help to anyone.
Yeah, or we just like push it down and feel it in our bodies.
And it comes out in other ways. And that's what I learned about people pleasing, is that when stuff down that bitterness or anger, or just irritation that come out through painful hip, I actually don't have a problem that ibuprofen can take care of. Medicine can take care of.
I've got a problem that only I can fix once I work with my emotions.
Yeah. And it's so great because then it's like, I sometimes like an internal massage, right? It's like an internal, like you can feel those emotions.
You can let them go. And then you don't have to carry around that, you know, that sensation, that burden or that habit.
Yeah. You can lighten that load off your shoulders. Yeah.
Right. Cause most of the times our stresses are what we're creating ourselves.
And they get easier to bear when we do the work to like, stop criticizing ourselves and causing ourselves all the stress that we're causing ourselves and fearing and all of these things. When that's more regulated, then you do have more capacity for the things in life that do come up here and there.
I tried to start telling myself like this is a five minute decision.
Oh, I love that.
You know, take, take less than five minutes to make the decision because it's only going to affect me for about five minutes or so. If it's a longer, maybe it's a 10 minute decision, but there are some things which I've also turned to my kids. This is just a five minute decision.
You know, it's not life or death because for so often, a lot of us turn everything into life or death situation. Yep. When reality is a five minute decision, we don't need to think about it for more than five minutes because it's not going to affect us for more than five minutes.
Yeah.
Oh, I love that. Yeah. That's such a good, just reframe.
And again, it's just kind of getting out of those set nervous system responses to like, Oh, this is how I handle these situations now. So much easier, less drama. Don't have to go into flight and freeze.
And it's just like, Oh, five minute decision and done.
Yeah.
Oh, one less question. If there's anything that you would think of to advise someone who's just starting out with this process, what would you say?
I would say to. Educate yourself. Because I feel like the more information.
That you can read, that you can learn. It's going to convince your mind. That.
Again, it's nothing that it's nothing that you've made up. That is not a. Fly by night operation that.
Just happened to work for a few people. This is not something that works. Quickly, it does take time.
It takes showing up consistently, working on it consistently, and getting uncomfortable. In order to.
Get better. We don't get the million dollar view until you climb up the mountain, right? You have to go through some uncomfortable things in order to get better.
But it is far and away worth it. I think educating yourself by reading, by listening to success stories. Curable has a lot of success stories.
Your podcast has a lot of success stories. And you could hear how people who are similar to you, either through personality, life situations, diagnoses, how they have overcome things, and become successful. And that's one thing that really kept me going.
I could listen to success stories.
And hear things I had in common with this person and that person. And be like, if they can do that, well, then why can't I?
What a full circle moment now to be a success story on a podcast.
That's so good. Well, thank you so, so much for sharing your story, for sharing your time, for being an inspiration to people, and for just being willing to be open about it and share the whole process, the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, right? Like the amazing.
I think one thing you said at the beginning before we recorded was like, I just want people to feel the joy, the joy that I have now that is like so much more after doing this work and being on the other side of this.
Absolutely. There is life after chronic pain, and that's the best, you know, the best thing that I got from this work.
All right. Well, thanks again, Renee, and take care. Hey, you've made it all the way through.
Thanks for listening. And if you are curious about unlearning your own symptoms, like Renee did, I do have an amazing book club integration group offer. It's going to run over the summer for 12 weeks and we'll be spreading that 28-day program from his books over the 12 weeks, so that you're not working on assignments every day.
You're spreading it out. You'll have accountability week to week, opportunities for Q&A with me, and even some one-on-one visits with me every other week so that you can really dive deep into the somatics, changing that body at the subconscious level, deactivating triggers, processing pain or emotions. Just meeting every other week with me for three months will really help you with this process of unlearning your own pain, anxiety or depression or symptoms.
So check out the link in my show notes about the Book Club Integration Group if you're interested in doing this work that Renee has done and applying it to your life yourself with support. Okay guys, have a great week, bye. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #130- Deactivate Your Triggers May 07, 2024

This episode includes a 6 minute technique you can do to deactivate your triggers.
My coach who studies hypnotherapy taught me this somatic hack to decrease the intense feelings of a trigger.
It is not to ignore the trigger or brush it under a rug, but to make it more emotionally manageable so it can be processed and let go.
Think of something that triggers you, and try the process along with me in this episode. Best if you can sit or lay down with your eyes closed.

If you are a woman over age 35, and you're interested in a supportive coaching community to help accelerate your progress, check out Alignment Academy here:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/somatic-coaching

Episode # 129- Coaching Call on Anxiety Apr 29, 2024

This episode is a clip from an Alignment Academy group coaching call.

Listen in to see how I apply somatic tools in a real life situation to help Carrie feel calmer and even excited about a situation that caused anxiety.
If you are interested in a supportive coaching community to help accelerate your progress, check out Alignment Academy here:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/somatic-coaching

Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 129, Coaching Call. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become unstoppable body and mind. Hello, my loves. Today's podcast is actually taken from a coaching call I did in my group coaching program, Alignment Academy.
We have a couple of these group calls per week, and Carrie came on for some coaching about anxiety. I wanted you to have a chance to hear this so you can hear how I use these somatic tools in coaching to help create a different result. And with some of these techniques I use, think for yourself about something that may be causing symptoms or anxiety, and you can apply these same things to yourself.
Maybe even if you can listen in a place where you can relax, you can do some of the meditations along with Carrie.
My question is, tomorrow, I'm going to be away for a good chunk of the day. And so I'm trying to not drink out and keep myself calm. And I just need a little bit of help with that.
Yeah. I'm curious, yeah, if you close your eyes and think of the anxiety that comes up, thinking about tomorrow, anything that gives you anxiety, how strong is that? Like how much intensity is there from 0 to 10?
Like an 8. Oh, wow.
Yeah. Okay. So a lot of intensity.
Where do you feel that mainly? In your body?
A little bit in like my throat and then between my eyes behind the bridge of my nose.
Oh, interesting. Okay. And is this like the anxiety?
Is that what you called it? Or is there another emotion? Yeah, okay.
Yeah, it's anxiety, and now that I've been doing this long enough, it's fear. I mean, it's fear.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Well, do you want to try that peripheral vision technique? I have just really liked it, because it just seems to take the intensity out of it, and then we can still process other things, but it's hard to when there's, you know, 8 out of 10, when you're thinking about it.
Yeah.
We can't really talk ourselves out of anxiety. So, all right. So go ahead and find a spot that you can look at, not on the screen, but maybe on the wall behind you or out the window, and just focus on that one spot, and then start opening up your peripheral vision.
So you kind of soften your eyes, let those, all those little eye muscles relax. Start to see kind of those blurs on the side, opening up more and more to the side of you. Keep focusing forward and even imagine that space behind you that you can somehow sense.
If you can sense that room around you. How does that go?
Yeah, that's, I'd give it a four.
Okay, nice, so definitely a shift. Okay, so now I want you to just go back to those same thoughts, close your eyes, think of being gone tomorrow. How long you'll be gone.
I just got the pain down my leg.
I know that's like stress-related. There's a neural circuit there that, just thinking of that. Okay, that's cool.
More evidence.
More evidence, yeah, yeah, totally evidence, right? That's one of the fit criteria, pain that gets worse when somebody talks about it, or talks about, he doesn't say this, but something emotionally charged, or yeah, and then that happens. He does say under stress, but yeah.
Okay, sorry, I'm gonna hijack for just a second, because there's another one I've been wanting to share with you, and I just remembered it.
Oh, great.
I finally hit the place in my pain journey where I have gratitude when, like just now, I have gratitude when I feel it, because I'm like, this is like, it's humorous. I laugh about it. And I'm like, thank you for telling me that clearly I'm unsettled right now.
So, yes, I never would have thought, yeah, that I'd ever have gratitude for this pain. But right.
Yeah, it almost sounds like, you know, especially when you're right in it, and you hear those people and you're like, okay, that just, you know, that's annoying. Or they think, oh my gosh, so you're telling me the whole rest of my life, I'm still gonna have pain. But when you have pain like this, it's like, oh, just a message from the body.
You know, I didn't realize there's this like trigger and response there, but let's go ahead and detach that because I'm safe. It's okay. You can turn that off.
Wow.
I love that so much. That was really good. Okay.
That's cool. So now when you close your eyes and think about tomorrow, what comes up?
So my initial thought was like, yeah, that's a little bit scary. And then immediately my thought was, it's another chance to practice.
That feels different. Okay. Very cool.
From zero to 10, how much intensity is there? As you think about tomorrow being gone all day. Don't forget about all those things you need to stress out about.
Yeah, okay. If I start to let other things creep in, then it's like six. But it's also, there's excitement too.
So I start to, you know, cross a line between fear and anxiety, and also like more into the yellow of pleasant, high energy and excitement and, you know.
Yeah, yeah. And how does that excitement feel in the body?
How does it feel?
How does it feel different than the fear anxiety maybe?
Yeah, okay, so the fear anxiety was like inward pressure, and this is like an outward pressure. So it was like an inward vibration, and this excitement is like an outward vibration or energy.
Oh, that's cool to know.
Yeah.
So maybe there's even some metaphor thing you could, you know, a switch you could flip or a knob you could, you know, it's like, oh, I'm in the inward pressure. It's the fear anxiety. How can I turn that into like excitement?
Oh, yeah, I am excited about this tomorrow. I am excited about, right, the adventure I'm going to have.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay. You did something with me once where you had me think about, I don't actually remember what you asked me to do, but what I did was I imagined like a tree, and it was like the roots were in my chest going down, and then the leaves and the branches were in my head reaching out. What was that?
Yeah. It was like a tree metaphor of that excitement, anticipation, or fear that's like the leaves shaking in the upper part of the chest, and then going down to the root, or like the trunk, I should say, of the tree, more stability, feeling more grounded, maybe even feeling grounded in support by the chair, and your feet in the chair, that kind of thing.
Yeah. But it was like a communication between the two things, like my head and my heart, or my solar plexus, and I forget, I kept notes probably somewhere, but that would take me a while.
Yeah. I mean, I know I even have a meditation on my podcast, that's this tree meditation. So I bet the way I remember it is the way I always explain it, and probably with you, we had a special version of it, and that part I don't remember.
Yeah, I just found it. Yeah, I liked that, and that really seemed to... And what I'm feeling now was like brain and chest and gut, and it just seems like it would, I don't know, be helpful.
Yeah, yeah, maybe even that brain part could be part of the metaphor. It's something in the tree or it's part of the tree, but the sensation in the chest might feel more like that. I think we talked about the...
Well, I'm like, how much should I explain it first or should we just do it? But the wind basically in the storms, that actually makes the tree stronger, right? Like then the roots are able to grasp down and grow down, so that it's really strong because of that turbulence, that kind of thing.
Okay, I like this even more because that plays into the thought that I had of like, this is a chance to practice. Practicing will make me get better at this.
Yeah, exactly. You're just, you're at your growth edge. Yeah, and that's why this is scary.
Your brain is like, okay, there could be physical danger or emotional danger. Either way, we're going to send these symptoms, and we want to just be like, brain, you know, this is safe. We got this.
This is our growth edge. That's why it feels like this. This means this is our chance to practice.
This is our chance to evolve. Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay. Okay. So let's have you close your eyes and first feel that anxiety and the fear.
And thinking about tomorrow might be even harder to, it's not an eight out of 10 probably anymore, right?
No.
But you probably remember that anxiety feeling. And now that you've done this work a while, you know that. And let's do have you think of all of these things that might cause anxiety in the future tomorrow.
And maybe some of the things we haven't thought about that might be closer to an eight out of 10, just anything that's a fear or anxiety producing topic. And imagine that tree that's blowing in the wind. It's in a storm, and you're watching it, right, and you're watching those leaves shake, and you're watching the branches even sway.
And it may even seem a little scary to watch it like you're worried about the tree. But then as you turn down to see the trunk, you see that the trunk isn't even moving. And then when you look down and you know that those roots are down beneath the ground, like the ground's not moving.
It's totally stable. So imagine feeling that in your body as you take your attention down towards your belly and pelvis, and I guess that solar plexus.
And how does that area feel to you?
Warm and confident.
Okay, warm, confident. Does it have a different movement, or is it just kind of different than the movement above?
It's yeah, it's not, it's really not moving. It's just, like, I feel like it's just saying, I've got you, got you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, good, and then do you imagine the roots being your legs? Like, and then you could imagine even roots growing, you know. I do this meditation yoga that's like, imagine everywhere that's contacting the surface, you have roots growing out of that, little roots going down.
And as you check in with your body now, how's it feeling?
Ease? At ease?
Yeah. What's the best feeling part right now about feeling at ease? Like, what part of your body feels really good?
Ironically, my gut, my, like, my abdomen.
Really?
That's good to know, yeah. And how does it feel different than when it's not at ease?
There's no, like, cramping or feeling bloated or full, or it just, just is.
Okay. Just is.
Could you describe it any other way than what it's not like? Just like what it is, besides is, but, you know, you said it's not cramping, not bloating. So like, what, what is it?
Is it like, again, maybe like a metaphor? And maybe it's the trunk, but maybe there's something else. I'm just curious.
It feels supportive.
Ooh, supported. Okay.
Yeah.
Okay. Okay, so that supported feeling, that confident feeling, can you imagine yourself tomorrow? Going wherever you're going, you know, the driving over, the whatever it is, right?
Going throughout what you think is going to happen tomorrow with that feeling, like you're making a little movie of yourself, even if you don't know what it's going to look like, you, you know, go to some place, your brain has some idea of what might happen. But like, how would you walk around if you're feeling supported? How would you meet new people if you're feeling supported?
Wow, I just feel like my chest went up, and I'm just not worried about what other people are thinking, or, you know, just enjoying the day.
Another thing I love to do is imagine someone that I feel like represents that. Like, it may just be my idea of, you know, what this person is, but to me, they exemplify a confident, supported person. And so how would she walk into their room?
Maybe it's even a character from a movie or a book. And then, you know, kind of how would she be thinking? How would she be meeting people?
I did this once when I first started coaching, and I was like, I actually, I had just gotten divorced, went on this first trip by myself, and I was like, I'm this million-dollar coach. How would she, you know, like go, it was this Flat Springs place. So I was like, how would she, you know, meet these new people?
And how, you know, how would she walk? How would she even dress or, you know, things like that? It's just like a method actor.
Yeah, I like that.
It's kind of a fun way to just give your brain like another version of what could happen. And then it's more likely, of course, too, because, you know, we just reacting out of fear and what we don't want. That's just a perpetual cycle.
But if we can turn to like what we do want to feel and how would that feel, what would I be thinking?
That's amazing. I feel good now, and I want to repeat this tomorrow morning before I leave.
And then that tree meditation. Gosh, it's been a while since I did it. I don't remember exactly how it was.
But, you know, it's always nice when you do it with someone and have your own version of it.
Another thing sometimes I'll do. Well, we have a little more time. If you want to do this.
This is the one I do in yoga, this visualization. So if you close your eyes and you imagine, and this is good if you're like laying on the floor. We do it during Shavasana.
You just feel you could do it in a chair, though. Feel all the points that your body is contacting a surface. And maybe you could even imagine it with the hands, too.
Roots growing down through the floor, through the basement into the center of the earth. So it's going all the way down. And you're able to, with that root system, you're able to draw up whatever energy you need, whatever creativity or other emotion you need.
You're able to take this through the roots, like a plant would, through every cell of your body. All of those billions of cells, you're just able to, like, suck up whatever they need, exactly what they need from this energy from the earth. And you're able to bring this healing from the earth, this power, this recharge, like your iPhone that's being plugged in, and you're just recharging as these roots are drying up exactly what you need.
And imagine that you're also, those roots are also able to release. So all of the roots can draw anything out that needs to be let go of, release down to the earth where it can be like fertilizer for the earth. All of our crap is actually reused by the earth for other things and growth in other areas.
So we're just able to let it go into the ground, into the earth, letting it go as you're drawing up. So it's this beautiful exchange of drawing up, letting go, this perfect knowledge of exactly how to do it, just like we don't need to think about how to heal a cut. We just let it happen as we relax.
But we can't do it as well when we're rushing all around, when we're in survival mode. But that's why laying here, sitting here, doing nothing is so important. It's like your body's doing nothing.
Maybe to the visible eye. But internally, that's when the digestion happens. That's when your digestive system actually does work and turns back on.
Because in survival mode, you don't need it when you're running from a tiger. That's extra stuff you can't deal with. So it may not look like anything's going on, but your cells are replicating, and you're basically recharging, regenerating.
So just that tree metaphor could even be extended down into the roots, and those roots. Oh, this is cool, too. When I do it in a class, I have them imagine the roots connecting.
We know that actually in forests, the trees communicate with each other through their root systems. And if one tree is struggling, the stronger trees can send it the nutrients it needs. Like, it's crazy to think, but yeah, this whole network of roots are actually interconnected and can communicate with each other.
And so then I have people imagine, you know, all the support that's there that they don't even realize that sometimes we even block because it's harder to receive. And we're just taught to give and give and give, but actually allowing that there are times in our lives when we're more receiving and there are times that we're giving, but we can't give from an empty cup, so we have to allow both. It would just be like only inhaling and never exhaling or vice versa.
You have to have both. So learning to notice that there is that support if you're willing to accept it, and being willing to receive allows other people to give. So fun stuff.
A lot of stuff you can do with that tree analogy.
Yeah, that was super good. I'm going to have to save this one for sure and re-listen over and over.
Yeah, I think that is good stuff.
What are you thinking now? What are you feeling?
I just feel great. I'm ready to go. Yeah, this is amazing.
And I love visualization. I think I've told you that before. That's my jam.
So anything that involves that is just so... I feel like it works really quickly for me, too. Versus like mindfulness or...
I like tapping, too, actually. I think that's really helpful. And affirmations.
But visualization, man, that's so good.
Yeah. And if anyone hasn't heard or forgot about, there are literally research studies showing that people visualizing doing an exercise, even though they were casted, their muscles didn't atrophy, and they even gained strength. But there's no way they moved their muscle because they were casted.
So visualization is so, so powerful. They've known it for decades. People in the 80s in the Olympics were visualizing things, I think.
Sports people know about this. Athletes, I think they're called. I'm not sports people.
Athletes know about this. You know, but it's like we're so focused on the physical, and we're like even life coaching with like, your thoughts are so impactful, like that's like revolutionary. And then to think your thoughts actually affect your body to such a degree, like that's super powerful, right?
That's amazingly powerful to just think, okay, if I stop focusing so much on what I don't want and actually give time and mental energy to what I do want, like it's worth your time for sure.
Thank you so, so much. This is fabulous. Take care.
If you've been liking this podcast and this information, but you'd like a little extra help on your healing journey, consider coaching with me. I do have group coaching through Alignment Academy and you can check the show notes for more details there. And I do have some one on one spots available as well.
If you want to dive into this work and create your fastest results. Not sure if coaching is for you. You can schedule a consult with me to discuss your specific situation.
Check the show notes for more details. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today.
That helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Episode #128- Chronic Knee Pain Success Story with Tai- Letting Go of Intensity Apr 17, 2024

In this episode, I interview Tai Kuncio.

She is a fellow moderator in the "Tell Me About Your Pain" Facebook Group. (https://www.facebook.com/groups/695823314550483)

Tai had various pains starting in childhood, which they attributed to being athletic. But she struggled the most with chronic knee pain.

At one point after knee surgery, she was doing physical therapy 4 to 5 hours per day and still not getting better.

It wasn’t her weakness or muscle dysfunction, but her fear that was driving her pain.

Finally when she moved across the world to Africa and gave up the intensity with what she was trying to heal, she embraced the mind-body approach.

She no longer struggles with chronic daily pain, and when symptoms come up she knows how to handle them so they don’t stick around long.

Listen for her inspirational story and what she learned about letting go of the intensity to heal.

You can find Tai at https://www.retrainyourchronicpain.com/

email : retrainyourchronicpain@gmail.com

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

Here's a free 6 week link to Curable:

http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

Episode # 127- Unlearning Anxiety with Lucas Apr 01, 2024

This week I share an interview with my client, Lucas. He struggled with several years of anxiety that was getting worse and more debilitating with time. At times it was even difficult for him to go to the store or to lunch with a friend without worrying, "what if I get an anxiety attack?"

After 3 months of somatic coaching with me, Lucas felt like he had found the missing piece. He had already tried meditation, breathing, yoga, acupuncture- all the "right" things to decrease the anxiety in his life.

But this approach taught him the tools he needed to actually unlearn the anxiety- so his brain produced it less and less.

Listen for more, and be sure and get on my "Unlearn Your Anxiety and Depression" Book Club list if you want more help in this area for free!

https://body-and-mind-lifecoach.myflodesk.com/bookclub

You can check out Lucas' music here:

Hannah/Lucas Pop Music - Idylmind https://linktr.ee/idylmind Meditation Album- https://lucasfackler.bandcamp.com/album/meditations-vol-1 General info: lucasfackler.com

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

Here's a free 6 week link to Curable:

http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 127, Unlearning Anxiety with Lucas. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. All right, today I have a special guest, and we're going to be talking more about anxiety. As you know, I've been doing that Unlearn Your Anxiety and Depression Book Club by Dr. Howard Schubiner, talking a lot about anxiety, really realizing how much it's actually so prevalent with my clients.
But I asked Lucas to come here today because his story is mainly with more the anxiety, not complicated with a lot of other symptoms, although of course, some things come and go. But it's really been cool to see his progress over the last three months, addressing his anxiety somatically, and how that has just changed things so quickly for him. So welcome, Lucas.
Thank you for coming.
Yeah. You hit the nail on the head there. It's my anxiety drives my anxiety.
It's kind of the thing. There's not a lot of tangible things I worry about other than having an anxiety attack. And it took a while to kind of realize that's what's going on.
And so here we are.
Here we are. Well, let's start at the beginning. And if you could just tell us kind of what brought you to this work.
Like, how did anxiety develop for you? And like, where were you when you found this?
I think I actually noticed anxiety when I was a kid, but it didn't really dominate my life, you know, but I just remember a couple of times when I was really young. And then in my early 20s, some periods of time that were tough, but it didn't really start to become like a problem affecting my day to day life until like about five years ago after some business stuff went south for me, where, you know, I had a video business and a music business, and I found where they both meet. And it was like making videos for audio brands.
And it got like pretty quickly. It was doing really well. But then after a few years, some relationships changed and stuff changed and it fell out on me, which was like financially devastating.
And that's really screwed with my confidence and everything, just all the things I was doing and everything I had planned. Didn't really pan out how I thought. And it left me kind of doubting myself often and ruminating on what I could have done.
And doubt and ruminating and thinking about those situations turned me into an anxious mess because I was in my head more than I was out in the world. And I thought I was putting time into like fixing my business or being a better business person. But like, oh, if I just like think about it.
But I was doing a ton of damage and I did not realize. Until, you know, a couple of times I had some pretty like mental break moments, you know, complete with high heart rate and all that stuff. That I realized I need to take a look at why is this happening?
And what are some steps that I can take to kind of undo this or work with this?
Yeah. So over the last five years, did anything get better? Did it get worse?
Did it stay the same?
A little bit. I mean, it used to be chronic pain in my neck and shoulders. So I sought out treatment there.
I sought out physical therapy. And one was like a therapist literally just pushing a knot out of my shoulder. Right.
And another other physical therapy was doing the work myself, different stretches. Another one was finding a massage therapist doing this method called Hendrickson Method, which is incredible. He helped me get over some kind of lingering pain.
And it was also mindset stuff. So that led me down the path of like, okay, like it's not just about stretching and getting massage, but it's about mindset things. And then so I did acupuncture.
Yeah.
With a really great acupuncturist who also was like more than just stick me with the needles, mindset things and always had good advice.
Yeah.
And then yoga. So all the right stuff, taking the right path, and then even daily walks. I haven't missed a walk for four or five years, every day, even when I had COVID.
So I thought I have this under control. Look at all the things I'm doing over five, six years. That's a lot of work.
But what I didn't realize I wasn't doing was confronting the anxiety itself. I thought if I did the work, the anxiety would go away. But it wasn't until my first sessions with you after I had kind of a really tough December, the beginning or end of the year, we got together and did some sessions.
And you taught me how to confront it and breathe through those feelings. And in talking to you, it was pretty easy to bring back that adrenaline and cortisol rush and that tension that I get. And then we get into the comfortable state and do the somatic work to acknowledge it's there.
And kind of diminish how much it can dominate your body.
Yeah.
That's the biggest one.
So, yeah, I remember one of our first sessions, you saying something like, I just want to not feel that at all, right? Like, I just want to be able to go out because you were at the point where even going out to the store was stressful and getting at times, yeah, it would get me secluded. And so, that idea of like, hey, if I do the work right, then I won't have a symptom.
And that trips people up in their healing if they're thinking that when they have a symptom, it means they're doing it wrong because like, you could still have a symptom. I could still have symptoms. I still do have symptoms.
Yes.
Because our body is giving us feedback. So when we interpret it as we're doing it wrong and I need to never have anxiety, that actually perpetuates more anxiety.
Yeah. So the other day I was taking a walk thinking about doing this podcast and thinking like, everything I just said, how I identified it and I had all these things I was doing right to like work on my anxiety, but what was I not doing? And what did that keep me from?
And so I wrote down five things. I wrote down one was identify, which I did to just elaborate just a little bit. Oh, sorry.
So one was identify there's an issue and identify that you have anxiety.
Yeah.
So I did that.
Did you identify that pretty early on, by the way, like when you first like five years ago, or was that more when it started impacting your life in different ways?
I think it was after I got through the pain management. Yeah. It's when I identified that the anxiety may have been responsible for the pain management.
And then rewind years earlier, I would have like stomach issues from time to time. I started to go, oh, there's always some lingering thing with me that is never diagnosed as some medical issue. Then I was like, damn, that's anxiety.
So once I identified it, my step two was to be proactive, which was seek treatments physically and then mentally yoga and walking and all that stuff. The third step is the one that I kept skipping and that was confront it. Instead of run from anxiety, it wasn't until with you, I confronted it that I could then my fourth step was accept it.
I'm going to have anxiety. It will never go away. And once I accepted it, now I can start to keep working on it.
But then healing comes with after I accept it. Those are my five steps that I realized I was doing one and two, one and two, one and two, one and two, skipping three, I could not get to four or five. So, yeah, in doing three with you, I have now accepted it.
I now have regular scheduled therapy as well. I'm ready to, you know, it's going to be my life, but I'm ready to move forward from having it dominate my life at times.
Yeah, right, right. It's like that, that classic case of like, when you have that, that thing that you're avoiding, it's like pushing a beach ball under water. And you're just, there's so much resistance and there's so much, it takes so much energy and it's so draining, and then it just rebounds up anyway, right?
And so that idea of the more we want to get rid of something, whether it's chronic pain, and we go that route of like trying all the medicines and trying all the doctors and procedures and all these things and still having chronic pain, or what happens, I had forgotten about the neck pain because we didn't, like I didn't deal with that symptom. But that makes sense, actually, I see a lot of people whose chronic pain symptoms decrease and then anxiety comes up. You know, it's like they kind of, it's like a whack-a-mole.
It's just like, yeah, yeah, totally goes down. Another one comes up. And so then anxiety, like you alluded to earlier, kind of makes you feel like you're doing something and it makes you feel like you're productive and you're doing stuff for your business or you're right.
Like you're thinking about things, you're solving problems, you're but you're really like ruminating and right. So it's easy to see how anxiety could feel very different than the chronic pain stuff. But we actually treat it the same, right?
We reframe it. We see it as something not so scary. It's misinformation from the brain rather than believing all of the brain stories, right?
Yeah, that's a big one too. You know, the anxiety, staying busy thing, I used to think when I was doing well with the business and all the things I'm doing, music and video and all this stuff, I was starting to have anxiety, but everything was good. I was, you know, making more every year and new doors were opening.
But I had this energy I didn't know what to do with. And I felt like a shark, you know, how supposedly a shark can't stop moving or it dies. And it's like that I just kept thinking of myself that way.
And didn't know what to do with that energy. And I thought, well, if I use it to constantly make more, you know, music or content or come up with new business ideas that I'm harnessing the energy to be more successful. And all I was doing is just digging a deeper hole.
Because, you know, it wasn't until it wasn't known. It wasn't until I found yoga that I could slow down a bit. Yeah, and like realize, like, you know, chilling out in the beginning, like doing a slow flow yoga and then Shavasana for like 15 minutes after doing, you know, just laying there and being like I can just do nothing and but it's doing something for me doing nothing is healing me.
Yes, I'm so glad you said that because that was a really key thing for me to understand is that even laying there, I'm not doing nothing. Like, that's actually when my digestion works, that's when the cells repair, that's when, you know, I take deeper breaths, that's where I can get into that brainwave state. Like, that's not doing nothing.
That's like plugging in your phone and saying, my phone is doing nothing right now. It's like, if you don't do that, your phone really is going to do nothing to actually allow it to have that non activity. That's that's just how we are.
But I think I was that same way where, you know, I almost thought I could just like fall asleep thinking about problems and solve them in my sleep. And yeah, really what I was doing is just creating problems to solve and then solving them. And it's just like running on this treadmill.
And so, yeah, you're doing activity, but is it getting you anywhere? And and, you know, it's depleting to do that.
Yeah, it really, yeah, it was really draining. And my partner's, we've been together for a long time. She had a family member over once, like two summers ago or maybe last summer.
And he said something about, like, how when you spend time thinking, you can actually burn more calories than when you're exercising. And I was like, holy crap, like, no wonder why I've why I've felt so depleted for so long because of all that ruminating and like trying to plan business things, trying to move the needle, as I would say, and like get somewhere extra. And I just would be like, you know, all I do is take a walk today.
I'm exhausted, you know, but the entire day I'm constantly thinking and cycling and trying to think of the next move. So that gave me a little nugget that I think about from time to time, him saying that and going, oh, damn, like, how did I not know that? You know, how have I never heard that before?
Okay, yeah, so yeah, I just think of it as it's just like depleting to just be like running all the time or sprinting all the time or right. Like it's just natural, like looking at the seasons and how things grow. And right, there's there's times of rest, there's times of growth.
And for some reason, our society has just turned us into thinking we need to be these robots that continuously work and continuously, you know, need to be moving the needle. But a lot of us come to that realization once, you know, these these physical things start happening. Like I just can't do it like that anymore.
And a lot of times we blame old age and, you know, just, you know, just getting old. But I really think that the more we just allow those times of tuning in and aligning and getting to that rest and repair state, that's that's why they call it, you know, rest and repair, rest and digest. How's that been for you?
Are you adding more of that into your life?
Yeah, I had been trying to do that before working with you. But now, but yeah, now it's like I'm just seeing it as it's as essential as eating or drinking water or whatever. I'm treating it like that severely, not just like, oh, I could use a break.
But like, no, this is daily life stuff. I have I'm going to do this. It's not, you know, I'm not going to skip eating, so I'm not going to skip, you know, even if it's just three minutes.
Yeah, there's like no guilt about it in that way, right? You're not like, oh, my gosh, you have to keep giving calories to this body that, you know, it's like, of course, you're going to take care of it. And part of that is doing nothing sometimes, tuning out, not being in that fight or flight state.
Yeah.
And flight is really anxiety. Anxiety is that, you know, like feeling like you're running from a tiger constantly. And then a lot of people can't turn that off.
And when you give yourself time to rest and then you approach what it is that you want to do or have to do with work, it's starting to feel a bit more, you know, it's easier, I guess. And there's a little bit more clarity. It feels like acting with purpose versus just staying busy, you know.
And then imagine the results. Like if that's your approach when you're working, that can only give better results for yourself or your client or whoever you're working for.
Like I was thinking of that story you told about going to the music shop. Do you mind if you tell that story or if I tell it? Yeah, go ahead.
This is how I interpreted it. Sure, yeah. But like the gist of it was basically like, you know, each week we would work on some things like, okay, maybe I'll go to a store or maybe I'll go, you know, to this lunch with someone, right?
And even those things were stressful at first, but we did this graded exposure and just like prepping you for it. And it was always you always did better than you thought you were going to. That's how our brains are.
We just fear it so much and dread it. And then we like, oh, that was fine. But then the next thing, right?
But you went to this music store or something. It was a place where you were in your element. You were buying some equipment or something and you were present.
Instead of being worried about what people were thinking and what you might have done wrong or what might happen if you get anxiety right now, you were just present with what was going on. Had a great conversation with the owner. The owner was even curious about you doing some side work for him.
None of that would have happened if you were in your fight or flight state.
Exactly. Yeah, it was going to a new music shop that I hadn't been to in my neighborhood. And recently, I'd noticed sometimes anxiety would come up when I was going to go somewhere to spend money.
I didn't realize that it was because I was going to spend money. It took me a minute to realize how much I still think about financially where I was at and where I'm at now and how that makes me feel and how careful I am. Especially in music gear, if I buy it, I need to be able to make money from it or sell it back to break close to even what I paid for.
So there's all of that going into it normally when I'm just like, but what if I just want a thing? Yeah, that's my business, but sometimes I just want to go do something on the weekend, spend money and have a thing to play with, you know? And yeah, that particular time, I ordered it online, found out they were nearby and messaged them.
I was like, let me just drop by. And they said, OK. And then I go and check out the shop and then I'm apparently just in a good mood, you know, attracting them to me because they couldn't help but talk to me when I could.
It could have just been 10 seconds. I walked around the shop, said hi to people, and then the owner stood up and just starts talking to me like we've known each other forever. Nice.
And I had a moment of thinking like, well, normally I would probably be looking for anxiety to screw this up. But I was thinking, but I'm actually calm. I didn't plan for this.
I don't even know the last time I ate that used to get in my head. And I was like, but, you know, I'll just do this and then go home and it'll be chill. And it was, and it was just nice just to like not be in my own way, not be in my own head, go buy a thing, make a new relationship.
And then ever since, you know, I've been in contact with them, we've done some things together already.
So no way. Oh, I love that story. And I love that idea of like being present, being open, being that is attractive to people, right?
The fear-based states. I was talking to someone about this earlier. If you think of like a, like a magnet and those fear-based states are actually a repulsive energy.
It's like pushing away. And then the, even just a neutral state or, you know, a happy state that is attractive to people. So I love how you said that.
And it just feels, you know, if you feel better, even if you're not sure that you're exuding that, but you feel better, then you're going to, you're like, maybe I would have avoided it. Maybe my body language would have had a closed shoulder. Maybe I would have been angled toward the door.
I probably would have been more likely to just go like, let's just pick this up and go and not even do a loop and not even say hi.
Right, you could have just walked in, grabbed it, or if there was a line, you're on your phone, right? You know, just like secluded and shutting yourself down versus you're just here, you're looking around. You're not, if that thought of like, what if anxiety comes?
Did that ever come up? Like, does it ever come up to think of like, what if I get anxious?
That's the majority of my anxiety is thinking, what if I have an anxiety attack? That's the hardest part about it. But thankfully, I don't use my phone for it.
If I have anxiety, I always figure a phone is going to make it worse in most cases. So I just try to write it out, you know, but maybe I should distract myself with my phone. But I'm not a person who will do that.
If I'm in line, I try to be really, that's an exercise to be present, even at its worst, my anxiety, I wouldn't be in public going like this, you know, I'd be like, okay, here it is, it's hitting. Why do I feel so anxious? And then just kind of look around and try to be in the line and, you know, exist in public.
So before, if that had happened and you thought, oh no, what if I get anxiety and you start feeling the sensations, that would be really distressing. But now, if that happens, like, can you take us through how you would react now and how that would work?
So either one is probably, I'm probably going to have to pee. I drink a ton of water. And then as we know, you get nervous, that's kind of one of the first signs.
It's not a bad, we've talked about this. It's not a bad thing to have an out. So if it hits, I would probably just go to the bathroom, pee, splash my face and probably feel better.
But now I would add to that, taking 10 seconds and doing probably three deep belly breaths and maybe trying to identify with somatic stuff, like maybe notice something like holding tension, give it a color, just one of those tricks, but real quick, try to do it just so I can feel like, hey, I have some control over this before I go back out and re-attack the situation.
So even if it does come up, instead of having a fearful response, and even if you can't control it exactly, like turn it off like a switch, you feel more control when you have some strategies, and you've learned several strategies, you've learned them, like some of them you even knew before, but you're applying them differently, and some of them that you've learned now, you can apply with other sensations in your body too.
Yes.
So it's the same process.
It's almost like doing somatic work has helped me connect the dots between all the previous work. Because it's such a mindful thing that if you're mindful while you're getting acupuncture, that's how acupuncture for me, that's how it works. I've had people go, it didn't do anything.
And I was thinking, I bet your mindset was that it probably wouldn't do anything.
Yeah.
But if your mindset was like, this stuff is going to work. Like for me, I remember having my arms just melt away, and I couldn't feel my arms in a good way. And I would have an itch in my forehead and be like, I'm not going to move.
I can do this. And I would just be jabbed up with needles. But I was in the right mindset.
I wanted it to do something. I wanted it to give relief, and it totally did.
I'm not opposed to those types of things. If people, especially if it's not stressful financially, it calms your nervous system. That's what I always get back to.
For me, dancing calms my nervous system. I love going to a thrift store and just walking around. There's a few things that are unique to me that other people might be like, oh, I hate that environment.
Or dancing would make me feel horrible. I wouldn't like that at all. So just finding what it is for you that calms your nervous system, having a few tools that you can have, not feeling like you have to totally control it or never have it, but just knowing it's like if a wave comes, knowing how to ride the wave rather than just drowning with it or being swept away.
You're just like, okay, I'm just going to, the more I accept it, the faster it goes away.
Yeah, it's like a vibration in your body and you can notice it and go, it's here now, it's strong, but this song will end, and it'll stop.
Yeah, it's temporary, it'll stop. Yeah, okay.
Finding flow, though. So for you, dancing, going to the shop, like thrift shopping, me, it's music. Obviously, it's like this stuff, guitar, drums, producing a song, get into flow.
A video game, too. I ignored those for years because I felt guilty because I'm not going to get anywhere career-wise with video games, which isn't totally true because I make music and there's music and games. But anyway, it wasn't until I brought them back into my life that I gave myself some more downtime to not just mindlessly watch TV or something, which is fine, too.
Actually, I'm like, yay, I can finally mindlessly watch TV.
I like that, too. Give me a good show or binge at Fargo or something, which I recently did. But the cool thing about a game, especially if you have a Nintendo Switch or some handheld gaming thing, you don't have the phone distractions.
And you have to be active with your brain. So if your anxiety is really high, that's a great way to kind of get off of that for a second and turn that energy into something fun to start to rewire that. And that has helped me tremendously, too, to just go, man, I don't really have any more work to do.
I feel like I should. I want to do something. I'll play a game for a few and then take a walk and then hit a reset button Yeah.
Flow. It's all about flow.
Yeah, it's like less about what exactly it is you're doing, but more about how you're feeling about it, right?
Yeah, sure.
Something I don't know. I thought of cooking, right? For someone, that might be a super enjoyable process.
For someone else, they might be resentful and hating it and feel like it's a chore. But it doesn't have to be like the rest and repair doesn't have to be just doing meditations, laying on the ground. It could be an active thing, but yeah, it's that flow state.
And that is where you're more likely to connect to people. You're more creative. You're more playful.
It actually strengthens your immune system to be in that state. It's the state of digestion, and your reproductive system works better. So all of those rest and repair things, that flow state, that's actually where we would do our best work, or where we do have those interactions that propel us so much further in our business because we met the right person because we were attracting them versus just at home, not wanting to go out and just ruminating about how to make more money.
It's extra tough when you're self-employed and self-motivated, and it's like how do you draw that line between... because I do music, so that's where I get into flow, but that's also where I have opportunities to make money. And I had a hard time getting myself into flow for fun for myself.
There was a time where I blocked it, and I was like, no, it feels I don't want to do that. And then I felt worse. It wasn't until I come down to my studio and create something, and be like, oh damn, I feel like I exercised or I checked some box that I needed to check.
And now I know that. Now I'm like going, I can't not play music. And I can't let career or money get in the way of doing that, because that's just been a part of me since my teenage years.
And that's how I deal with stress and anxiety and life in general, is like make some music, play some music.
Yeah, I love that. Definitely anything that you do in that flow state, it's like charging the batteries or it's like building more energy. So it's not a waste to have fun or to do things for yourself or to have that self-care and be creative with it.
It doesn't have to be going to get a massage and a bubble bath and a pedicure for self-care. It can be the things that light you up, the things that feel timeless, the things that you feel more energized afterwards instead of depleted.
I think cooking is a good one if you can find it. Some people maybe they'll never find it, but I've been on both sides of that coin where it's been like, I'm just too busy. I can't be bothered making food.
What am I doing? This is such a waste of my time. So now I try to go like, I don't even have to be like super chef dude.
It's like, let me just make something, but at least give a damn with the ingredients that I have and like just enjoy the process of making it because then I get to eat it. And that's it. Just be like, I have to do it anyway.
And this is kind of a pass from the boss to like take your time and make your food, dude, like enjoy it. And that's helpful because you're going to do it every day, most of us. So that's another just take a moment and be like, well, I'm making breakfast right now and I'm going to take my time, scramble my eggs and enjoy brewing my coffee the way I like it.
And then, you know, then have it and work will be there when I'm done.
Yeah, that's like checking in with the present moment. And you could do that with any of those daily activities that you do, like brushing your teeth. I've heard of that too, those two minutes that you brush your teeth.
Just be mindful, fill your feet on the floor, you know, feel the air against your skin, feel your clothes against your skin. Look around the room, right? Just like reminding yourself what's going on in the present moment.
Because our brains have so much of a tendency to be in the future or the past. And that's, you know, the future is really where anxiety is. The past is usually where depression is.
So being in the present moment, I love that idea of just like taking an activity you normally do anyway. And because the more we can simplify it, the more effective it will be, right? Like having an elaborate two-hour morning routine so that we can feel less anxiety.
Versus being able to like throw some things in here or there and just be mindful more of the time of things we're already doing.
The brushing the teeth one, you've said to me, and I do that now more often, like, you know, I brush like three or four times a day, which, you know, maybe maybe is close to too much.
But I'm like, I'm impressed.
Yeah, I just, you know, I work from home and, you know, the bedrooms on the third floor, but there's a bathroom on the second floor. And so if I have a smoothie, once I'm done, I like to brush the stuff off, you know, or coffee.
My dentist would love you.
Well, I haven't been to the dentist in a long time, too. So that's part of it, preventative care. But so I'm doing it three, four times, maybe five times a day.
I'm trying to, like, just go a little slower, which is going to be a better job anyway. And just kind of think about what I'm doing. Where are the bristles touching in my mouth?
To just another way to, like, be present and take a break from whatever it was I was doing, which is probably work. Go up, you know, finish my snack, get some water, brush my teeth, whatever, and use those little teeth brushing moments as other little two minute unwind, decompress kind of things. I love it.
Yeah, I love that. And I love the, like, three belly breaths. I mean, I love that idea of just, like, make it more manageable and then just try to kind of weave that into your lifestyle more and more.
Like, just change the lifestyle habits to include those micro relaxations. And then, you know, if the anxiety does come up, it's addressing it the same way we do with chronic pain. It's not fearing it.
It's turning towards it. It's being curious with it, right? Anything else that you've learned with the, you called it, like, the confronting it.
Yeah.
You know, people might be like, what do you mean by confronting it? Like, what did you feel the most from that?
When we did the somatic in one of the first sessions, you know, it's like, find that tension in your body and then, like, breathe into it and all that. And then it moves. Like, that awareness of, like, oh, damn, if that can move, isn't that the same thing that my anxiety is?
It's like this moving target that shows up in different ways. So, and I would try to hide from that. So, instead of hiding from it, I'm trying to do practices, like, when I go to my favorite park and sit in the grass, do my, take my shoes off and ground and stare up at a tree.
I would do that. But I wouldn't want to think about the things that made me anxious. Now, I'm just trying, I'm dropping little bits in.
I'll just take a little bit of pepper in my scrambled eggs and be like, you feel really good right now, but what is it that makes it when you don't feel good? Let's go there for a second, you know? And then try to invoke just a little bit, but don't let it ruin my day.
But I'm doing that more now. It's like exposure therapy out in the wild. Next time I'm at a music shop, I'm going to go like, who cares that you're spending money?
You know, don't let the anxiety tell you, you shouldn't do this, like you didn't make that much or whatever. Instead of going like, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it. Because if you're saying that, what are you going to do?
You're going to think about it. You're going to be anxious. So, you know, it's those things.
And then the other one is when you try to do breath work and your anxiety is at its worst, it's hard to do. You literally don't want to do it because you're like, I'm going to swear, you're like, fuck this. I can't do this.
Right. And even if I'm anxious and I'm at a restaurant and I go to the bathroom and take three belly breaths, they're not really great breaths. They're not very good at all, honestly.
But it's the fact that I'm trying when it's at its worst that reminds me I have a little bit of control here. And then the next time it's easier or when the anxiety is not as bad, it's like, this is easy. And then it just melts away.
But when it's really bad, I'm fully aware that it's probably not going to net the results that I really want. But it is a little bit. You know, but anxiety is going to tell you this won't work.
You can't do this. This isn't going to be helpful. Just tell anxiety, middle fingers, I got to do it, man.
I got to do it. I got to breathe and accept that maybe it won't be the most replenishing breath. And you're not going to go back to the meeting and feel 100 percent, but you're not going to feel as bad as you were when you went in.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's just like you're riding that wave and it's temporary and it's going to end. But if you're trying to squash it down, it's like pushing down that beach ball and it's going to shift and cause more problems.
Yeah, it really truly is that. I just wish I would have had that clue five years ago. You can't just squish it into the pool.
Way, because it's so different than what we're taught. And same with even emotions. I have a lot of people that are like, I never want to feel angry again.
But how limiting is that in your life to think like a whole group of emotions I never ever want to feel again. And I'm going to make it bad, something bad about me if I feel it. I mean, the more we can just embrace these things.
One last thing I really like is just to even just label it. Oh, this is anxiety. This is not tightness in my chest.
Oh, this feels like, you know, a bunch of butterflies swarming around or whatever it is, like however you describe it. Just even labeling it sometimes can be super helpful for me.
It's helpful. And it's also helpful to remember that it's in small doses. It's necessary.
If you didn't know when to flight, you might get hurt, you know. So it's understanding like, well, this is it's hardwired in me. It's not there's no way that I'm going to make it go away.
And if I do, I'm probably addicted to drugs and other bad things are going to happen, right? You can't make it go away. You have to realize that it is hardwired for a reason.
It's for survival. It's just we get so mixed up in when we feel like we need to survive and when we're actually surviving just fine. And that's the big one.
And I think once you kind of wrap your head around that, you can start to live with it and have it be there when it's supposed to be there. When you've got a bad feeling about going into that neighborhood, you need it then. Or, shit, I almost got hit by that person lane changing.
You're hyper aware for a second. You need it then. But when you're just thinking about that email you got to write or go to that dinner or that lunch meeting or whatever, there's probably not going to be a tiger ready to eat you.
You're probably going to be ready to eat that pizza or something. Just look for that. Enjoy the food and enjoy the moment.
Don't be afraid all the time. Yes.
You notice you're feeling those sensations. You can label, okay, I'm in that survival state. And just teach your nervous system in this moment.
Okay, thank you. You're telling me you think there's a danger. And okay, we're safe, though.
There's not a danger. We've got this. And then maybe use some somatic techniques or sometimes some reframing.
But you're usually not as logical then either. You can't really talk yourself down. But as long as you have a few of those strategies and have that practice of, at least sometimes when it's more mild, you can practice it a little easier.
Your brain will produce it less and less over time. So that's the good news about this. It's not like it just stays this bad and then you have some techniques.
This whole process is actually rewiring your brain as well to just produce it less and less because it's not going to be as effective of a strategy anymore.
It's so true that you said you have to teach your nervous system. And you think logically, but I know there's nothing wrong. It doesn't matter.
Logic is gone. If you're as far along as me, it's some pre-wired crap that you have to get back in there and remake those new connections so that your nervous system doesn't always jump back to the thing it's addicted to, which is cortisol and adrenaline, when it doesn't need it. And it takes time.
That's the other thing is be patient and have some compassion for yourself, which you've said, my therapist has said, and that one's, like, to really do it is really, it's kind of hard for some people, was for me, it's easy to say it, but to feel it for yourself.
Yeah.
Super important in healing, for sure.
Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. I think that's one of, like you said, the hardest things, and for some people, for me, it was, and also, you know, of course, the most beneficial, but the, just I feel like learning about the nervous system helped me be so much more compassionate with myself, because then it doesn't seem as much like, you know, like I'm, you know, hopeless and I'll never learn.
It's like, okay, this nervous system is really just doing its best. It kind of has the mind of a elementary school kid or something. So I just need to have it along for the ride and work with it and be friended and understand it more.
Sometimes it's actually probably giving me some good information and I can learn from it. But most of the time, I'm more of that re-parenting role of like, okay, you're safe. This new environment, of course, it's scary to you, but sending an email is still a safe, like no tiger is chasing you.
So it's just like re-teaching that nervous system in real time so that we can just keep evolving.
That's a good way to frame it, too, of it. Like, I used to feel like so bad because why am I so anxious? Why can I control it?
And it's not, it isn't like there's some king, mighty ruler. It is more like a child who's just confused. That is like, it's you, but it's not really you.
But you have, it is, you know, it's like your conscious mind is like, no, but I'm not that way. But if it's wired, if it's there, right, accept it, hold the child's hand instead of like pushing it away. Don't think of it as, like I said, like the dominant king, ruler of all things.
It's not. It just needs some nurturing and some care and see it, you know, look at it and don't avoid it.
Don't avoid it. Don't push it away. Work with it.
Reassure it that it's, it's fine to be there and we're good. And I've got you and I've got your back.
And yeah, exactly.
Amazing. Well, your story, I think, will help a lot of people. I think it.
Yeah, I think that's it's super inspiring. And I think because you had so much background in this stuff already, like you said, this was just the missing piece. And so I think a lot of things clicked into place for you pretty quickly relatively.
And are there any last thoughts or ideas that you might want to share or tips? Or I mean, I think we've covered everything I wanted to. But I also wanted to give you one more opportunity if there's anything else that's come up in your mind.
The biggest one is just be patient and take your time.
Especially in the beginning, it's like little bits of progress. Or even if you end a session and you feel even more anxious, look at it as maybe a good thing. Like, oh, I exposed myself today, and it wasn't a big deal.
Or it feels like a huge deal today, like that I did that. But it's necessary. To get back into those anxious moments, it's necessary when you have guidance, when you have someone to help you, then kind of identify them and breathe through them.
And it's going to be hard, but be patient. And the only other thing is, if you want to hear this music that I do, two places, one anywhere, Idle Mind, I-D-Y-L-M-I-N-D, it's like pop music. We did an album called Feel Good that is a lot of this stuff that comes from all my years of yoga and all these things, but also from a person who understands what it's really like to need something to feel good.
And then I have a meditation album when I was really heavy into doing yoga that I did. You can find on Bandcamp, Lucas Fackler on Bandcamp. So if you want to check out any of my tunes, that's, you know, maybe you can share some links somewhere.
We'll put them in the show notes for sure.
Cool. Yeah, yeah.
Other than that, I'm checking those out too.
Yeah, cool. And I think, and I thank you for your, your, the way you speak when you're doing the session is just so calming, and your, your mindset and all this stuff is just the right stuff for people who need help. And it has helped me tremendously, and I'm probably not done, you know, I'll probably hit you up again because it's just, it's good to check back in and treat myself to that session because I still need it.
I get coaching, but I want it. Yeah, I think everyone, like we have our blind spots, we have new things that come up. If we're doing it right, we're still evolving and right.
So new stuff is, is coming up for us. So yeah, it's been awesome working with you and seeing your progress.
Yeah, likewise. Yeah, I'd happily do this again later when there's more progress and we can talk, talk more about other things to try.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. All right. Well, thank you so much again.
And we'll wish you on your way and look for our next episode when we do that together and have your fun experiences until then. And make some good stories for us. All right.
All right. Take care. Thanks everyone.
Bye.
Bye everybody.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today. That helps you in your life like it helped me.
Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Episode #126- Healing Years of Pain & Symptoms with Kristina, Stacey and Callie Mar 07, 2024

In this episode, I interview 3 women with amazing healing stories. We all met as Moderators for the "Tell Me About Your Pain" Facebook group created by Alan Gordon.

Kristina has a list of symptoms that were healed with the mind-body approach. Including anxiety, eating disorders, depression, hypothyoroidism, adrenal fatigue, POTS, leaky gut, histamine intolerance, insomnia, adrenal insufficiency, and hashimotos.
Stacey suffered for 18 years with chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, IBS, Lyme disease, insomnia, body pains, and pelvic pain.

Callie had anxiety, insomnia, fainting, and neck pain, which she found out was a congenital neck fusion with “creative wiring in her neck”. She was told if she moved her neck wrong and she could be paralyzed, so she had medical trauma and increased fear. Her pain spread through the left side of her body and she began to have joint instability (ankle sprains, knee dislocation, hip popping). She was diagnosed with myofascial pain syndrome, fibromyalgia, migraines, chronic fatigue, unexplained rashes, acne, and had pelvic pain with sitting.
Listen for more about their healing journeys- what they found most helpful and advice they would give others when doing this work.
You can find more about Kristina and Stacey's group coaching here: www.christianbrainrewire.com
And Kristina's email is www.kristinacarlton.com
Stacey has a free "Stretch and Breathe Nervous System Regulation Class" https://www.wholisticallyrenewed.com/fitness
And Callie's contact info is coachcalliek@gmail.com or on her facebook page https://www.facebook.com/people/Brain-First-Chronic-Pain-Coaching/61555738854975/?mibextid=LQQJ4d

Here's a free 6 week link to Curable:

http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

Episode #125- The 6 F’s- Reactions that Increase Pain Feb 13, 2024

This Episode is what Dr Schubiner calls "The Six F's" in his book "Unlearn Your Pain"

These are natural reactions to pain, but they also cause the brain to amplify the pain or symptoms.

Here are the 6 F's, listen for more info:

"Fear of the pain or other symptom: We fear the sensation of it as it can be so severe and unpleasant; we worry about whether it will go away and when or when it will return; we spend a lot of time wishing it will go away

Focus on the pain or other symptom: We pay a lot of attention to it; we monitor it; we focus on how it feels and if it is changing or getting worse

Frustration with it: We get upset, annoyed and angry at the pain or other symptom; we become resentful that doctors haven’t fixed it or don’t understand it; we become sad for what we have lost

Fighting it: We work hard to overcome it; we try to push through it; and we get exhausted in the fight, especially when we feel we are losing the battle

Trying to figure it out: We spend a lot of time thinking about it; we search for answers online, in doctor’s offices and with alternative care practices

Trying to fix it: We spend a lot of time and money on treatments that haven’t worked; we try anything and everything that might work; we get desperate for a cure; we get depressed when one doesn’t materialize."

The way you react to pain can cause your brain to produce more of it or decrease it, so reacting differently on purpose will help you feel better.

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 125, The Six Fs, Reactions That Increase Pain. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become unstoppable body and mind. Hello, my loves. You may know that I did a book club for Dr. Schubiner's book, Unlearn Your Pain.
All of the videos for the replays are actually on YouTube. You can go to my YouTube channel, Body and Mind Life Coach. And I really love doing these book clubs because I learn so much and I get to really study this information so I can present it to you guys.
And Dr. Schubiner's Unlearn Your Pain is chock full of good information. He's been a researcher in this field for so long and has a great way of distilling down the concepts into simpler ways to understand what's going on with pain and especially with chronic pain and chronic symptoms. As you probably know by now, in most cases, chronic pain and disease doesn't actually show you that there is something structural going on or how much tissue damage there is.
When you have chronic symptoms, it's often the case that you have neuroplastic pain. Your brain can produce pain even when there's no injury or long after an injury has healed, which is usually three to six months at the most. So one of the concepts that's really important to learn when doing this work is that the way that you respond to the pain actually makes a difference on whether the brain keeps producing the pain or not.
Basically, it's like a volume knob. When you react in certain ways, the brain turns up the volume or amplifies your symptoms. The six Fs are normal reactions to pain.
So if you have these reactions, don't beat yourself up. They're very normal. It's understandable.
But you also want to know what these six Fs are and recognize them in yourself because you could be inadvertently causing your pain to become higher and higher. And there are more effective ways of handling your pain, reacting to pain that actually retrain the brain and rewire the brain to produce pain less and less. So pain is not just about what kind of damage there is going on in our body, but it really has a lot more to do with the ways that we're reacting to the pain.
So I'm going to go through the six Fs that Dr. Schubiner lists as these natural reactions that increase your pain or other symptoms. The first one and the biggest one is fear. Any type of fear-based response means you're in a survival state.
You've activated the nervous system. And when the nervous system is dysregulated, any kinds of symptoms can happen in the body, ranging from numbness to muscle soreness, to fatigue, brain fog, dizziness, tinnitus. Basically, the brain uses these neural circuits when there is danger, and the brain can activate these neural circuits even when there is no structural danger, but the nervous system is dysregulated.
It's basically misinformation from the brain. When you have pain and react with fear, it activates the pain-fear-pain cycle, which I talk about in episode 69. So fear of the pain is normal.
It's unpleasant, it doesn't feel good, and we start to worry that something more may be going on. We may think about when it's gonna go away or when it might return. There are many people that don't even enjoy the time that they have without symptoms because they are fearing when the symptoms may come back.
And of course, being in that fear-based state, it's more likely that your symptoms will come back. So notice if you're responding with a lot of fear because this will increase your pain. F number two is focusing on the pain.
This is something our brains naturally do. We might focus, pay attention to it, try to find patterns, think about it a lot, notice if it's getting worse. Our brain loves to create stories to explain things and to understand them.
And so our brain may be on the lookout for pain or any other kind of symptoms as a way of trying to understand what's going on. But this focusing on it can actually increase our symptoms. Many times I've heard of people Googling their symptoms, reading all about them, maybe even keeping a pain diary, and they've actually shown in research that people who do keep a pain diary and keep track of when their pain is worse, they actually do have pain that lasts longer than people who are not as focused on it and aren't tracking it.
F number three is frustration. This is so common, especially I see this with people who like to be good, like to do well at things. I work with a lot of physicians, and so a lot of them have been used to being able to solve problems and understand things.
And a lot of people can have an understanding of what's going on. And then when they have pain, get really frustrated. They might make it mean that they're not doing a good job or this won't work for them.
They may be annoyed or angry or upset at the pain that it's back. They could be frustrated that the doctors haven't fixed it or the doctors don't understand what's going on. They may be frustrated about things they're not able to do anymore or things that they've lost by having the pain.
So again, this is such a normal reaction to have, but it also causes the brain to produce more symptoms. If you're frustrated with your pain, try and be so compassionate with yourself. F number four is fighting it.
Some of the personality traits of chronic pain include being a perfectionist, working hard, a strong sense of duty. And in our society, we're really taught that the harder we work at something, the better our results will be. So sometimes people fight the pain.
They want to overcome it or push through it. And when we're in this urgent perfectionistic state, that's the nervous system state of flight. And when we're in flight, we could do all of the right techniques to heal, but because we're still in this dysregulated state, our brain keeps producing the symptoms.
For many people, it's more a matter of slowing down and doing less, rather than trying to fight hard and do more and work through it. When we're fighting the symptom, it's like telling your brain, this is important, this is dangerous. We've got to be on high alert about this.
So it's understandable that our symptoms could increase. F number five is trying to fix it. This obsession with figuring something out and fixing it is also part of the flight nervous system state.
It's this activation, you can't rest, you need to keep reading things, listening to things. The problem when you're in this nervous system state is that even when people do give you the right information, you might doubt it, you might not believe it. I've talked to several people who have actually done a consult with Dr. Sarno or Dr. Schubiner or Dr. Strax and gotten information that, yes, your pain is neuroplastic, and yet they keep trying to figure it out.
And basically this nervous system state is like if you could just get the right information and really believe it, then you'll feel better. And so they're constantly searching for this information and keeping themselves in this high activated state. Oftentimes, I hear people say, if I could just figure out what it was from my childhood or if I could just learn the right technique, then I'll be able to figure it out.
But constantly seeking for more information and trying to figure it out and trying to overanalyze everything that's going on, it's like running on a hamster wheel. You're not getting anywhere, and eventually you're gonna get tired. You're burning yourself out.
Again, this is a case where sometimes people need to take a break from all of the figuring out that they're doing. And instead of listening to more podcasts and doing more reading and getting on forums and discussing it, it might be better to just read some other kind of book, read a fiction novel or a romance book. It's pretty counterintuitive, but if you notice you're in that state of trying to figure it out, that could be what is keeping your pain around.
And the last F is trying to fix it. You might have been looking all over for a solution, trying all kinds of treatments that haven't worked, getting desperate for a cure, and even getting depressed if the fixing isn't working. You might even start to think, I've tried so many things, nothing is working, so chances are nothing will.
But when we're coming from that urgent fixing energy, as I talked about before, you could be doing all the right things, but still being so much in the fear states, your brain keeps producing the symptom. So notice how you generally respond to pain. Notice if it's one or more of the six Fs.
And if it is, again, these are natural reactions, so you don't have to beat yourself up about them. The best thing is to start by just noticing and observing and maybe even labeling it. Oh, here I am going into fix-it mode.
Here I am trying to figure it out. This time the pain is really frustrating. Having understanding and vocabulary for it is part of what gets us out of that pain-fear cycle.
The more we can become observers and notice rather than reacting. The main thing, pain reprocessing therapy or PRT teaches is to respond in different ways that don't increase the fear but increase the feelings of safety. I like to think of the nervous system states.
So instead of responding with fight, flight, freeze, you're noticing what's going on and then getting to that rest and repair state as much as possible. That's the state of safety. It's gonna be okay.
Trust the process. This is temporary. And it's not to say that this is easy.
I'm making it sound easy that when you have pain, you're gonna respond with calmness and indifference and not caring. But the more you practice, the easier these types of responses will be. Sometimes it's really hard to believe that you are actually safe and that there's not a problem.
So going through a book like Unlearn Your Pain can really give you a lot of opportunities to examine what's going on, looking at your past, looking at your personality traits, and give you a lot of insight for that proof for your own brain that this is neuroplastic. When you have that belief, it's a lot easier to not react with the six Fs. Other things that people can find helpful could be distraction or going into the body, like with somatic tracking.
Each time you respond in a different way that's calmer and with these messages of safety, then your brain can form new neural pathways, and it learns to produce the pain less and less. It can be like a toddler that's throwing a tantrum, and when you reward it, you give the toddler some candy, then they learn. But when you could just be calm or ignore the tantrum, then the child learns not to continue to do it.
It's not effective. But this does happen over time. Dr. Schubiner says this process is a lot like training a puppy, and the more you can be compassionate and patient, it will actually go a lot quicker than if you're frustrated and impatient and expect that it should just be easy and happen immediately.
If you want more information about reactions to pain that actually increase your symptoms, check out episode 69, The Pain-Fear-Pain Cycle. The way that you react to your pain does make a difference, and that's one of the main principles and keys to this work. And if you want extra support on your healing journey, be sure and check out my membership program, my monthly membership with group calls where you will have a community of supportive people going through the same process, having the same kinds of questions and struggles with tons of information and support about how to navigate this in the most effective way.
Okay, guys, thanks for listening, and have a great week. Bye. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Episode # 124- 10 Myths About Pain Feb 05, 2024

In this episode I put together the 10 biggest myths I've seen around pain (especially chronic pain).

Lots of new pain research is coming out, so if you think you know about pain (like I did as a Physical Therapist), there may be some new findings that surprise you.

Here are the 10 biggest myths about pain, and be sure to listen for more explanation on each of them:

1-pain equals tissue damage

2-If I have pain or symptoms after exercise or food, it means that exercise or food is what caused my pain.

3-The longer I’ve had pain means the longer it will take to heal

4-I will have to re-live traumatic experiences in order to heal from them

5-If I don’t have significant childhood trauma then I shouldn’t have chronic pain

6-If my pain is mind body, I have to have 100% belief before I can heal

7-I need to be perfect at healing

8-If I have neuroplastic pain it means that I’m weak

9-If I have been doing the work and still have pain it means there are repressed emotions I haven’t yet found

10- The goal is to be totally regulated and pain free

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

Episode # 123- Unlearning Anxiety Jan 15, 2024

Anxiety is a symptom that goes hand in hand with chronic pain and disease.
In this episode I talk about what anxiety is, how it affects the body, why it's so common, and how to unlearn it!

I give an example from my own life, and some techniques you can use to teach your brain to produce anxiety less and less.

If you are looking to support your growth in a loving, fun and nurturing community, check out Alignment Oasis and the specials I have going on now:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/alignment-oasis

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

Transcript-Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 123, Unlearning Anxiety. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become unstoppable body and mind. Hello, my loves. I really wanted to talk about anxiety today because it is a very common symptom for people who have chronic pain or disease.
In fact, it's kind of like the chicken or the egg, which came first. Many people who have a tendency towards more anxious thoughts, they're more likely to develop this neuroplastic chronic pain. Alan Gordon said in his book The Way Out that the fear of his symptoms becoming chronic is actually what caused his symptoms to become chronic.
And once you have pain or symptoms that don't go away quickly, it's common to develop a health anxiety about symptoms in your body. So I think of anxiety as just another version of one of the neuroplastic symptoms your brain can produce. So first, just a definition of anxiety.
It's intense, excessive and persistent worry, and fear about everyday situations. So anxiety could be normal if you have a stressful situation, like public speaking, but it becomes a problem when anxiety feelings become excessive or interfere with your daily life. You might identify with some of these symptoms of productivity anxiety.
This is what I really associated with before. So feeling like you're not doing enough, feeling guilty or ashamed when you take breaks or rest, feeling like you're always behind and you can never catch up, obsessively planning, checking emails, messages or to-do lists, feeling irritable or easily frustrated if things don't go according to plan, or feeling so overwhelmed that you procrastinate and avoid tasks. And you could feel on the edge, irritated, and like your mind is always racing.
This can affect your sleep, and you could even have night anxiety where you can't stop worrying about the next day. You have intrusive thoughts that come up at night and a racing mind. You replay the day and keep thinking about what happened.
You're tossing and turning in bed, and you're worried about not getting enough sleep, which causes you to get less sleep. And even though you're feeling physically exhausted, you can't sleep. With anxiety, you could have memory issues and trouble focusing.
You notice that you worry a lot and overthink. You have a lack of patience and need constant reassurance, and you could even have panic attacks. Anxiety is this activated state of the nervous system.
So it's like fight or flight. It's more in the flight. Like you're running from a tiger.
You're running to try to constantly find problems and fix them and solve them so that you'll feel safe. And this can be depleting to your body if you're in this flight state of anxiety for too long. It takes its toll on your body.
You could have a racing heart, shortness of breath, tightness in your chest, numbness, dizziness, or spinning vision, headaches, muscle tension and body aches, shaking, excessive sweating even when you're cold. You could feel a lump in your throat, again, because of this muscle tension, preparing you to run for a tiger, but there's no tiger chasing you. And during fight or flight, your digestive system turns off because digestion isn't as important as finding safety.
So this can lead to stomach issues and stomach pain. For people who have health anxiety or a lot of focus on the symptoms of their body, they may feel these symptoms of anxiety and focus on them and how uncomfortable they are and worry what is wrong, which actually leads the brain to produce more anxiety because this danger signal is heightened. Eventually, you might start to avoid activities that might cause you anxiety, and so you're getting less interaction going out and pleasure in your life, which also tends to produce more pain and anxiety.
A study from Pennsylvania State University even found that negative moods and anxiety affect your immune system and the production of inflammation. When we're used to living in this anxious, high alert state, it actually might feel uncomfortable to start feeling good. So we might have anxiety when things go well.
If you could imagine sleeping in the jungle, you kind of want to be on high alert. You don't want to let your guard down. You want to see what possibly could happen.
You don't want to relax and let go. It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop, this high alert, constant anxiety state. Renee Brown talks about this as rehearsing tragedy.
So even though there may not be something to necessarily worry about, we start feeling good and safe, and that actually promotes more feelings of anxiety and fear. Dr. Joe Dispenza says, You can eat all the right foods and do all the right things. But if you're living in anxiety and fear, you're viewing the world from the worst case scenario because that's what you do in survival.
And there's no energy for growth and repair. The living in chronic anxiety is living in these survival states, and it causes these physical effects in the body, and you're not getting to that calm, rest and repair state. And if you do, that could even be a source of anxiety because you're not used to feeling that good feeling without worrying and fear.
But the good news about all of this is that that habit of the brain of going into anxious thoughts is just like these neuroplastic habits of chronic pain. And it can be unlearned, it can be treated the same way, and we can actually rewire our brain to produce less and less anxiety. The first way to do this is to realize that anxiety is false information.
It's a false danger signal. It's a misinterpretation of the brain of thinking something safe is actually dangerous. So we want to see it just like other forms of neuroplastic symptoms that when we are getting this very real symptom in our body, these feelings in our body, that it's not an actual threat, it's just this habit of the brain of finding danger where there isn't really any.
This can be hard though, because again, there's these physical symptoms. You're producing adrenaline and cortisol to activate you, to get you motivated to do something, to solve something, to fix something, to run away from that tiger, to feel safe. So the feelings of anxiety are really prompting you to do something and take action at a physiological level.
So we need to actually respond to them differently in order to train the brain to produce them less. Just like when we have a pain signal, we want to respond with more calmness, with messages of safety. And when we react differently to it, the brain doesn't continue amplifying that anxiety response.
One way to think about anxiety is that our brain really dislikes the unknown. Having something that we don't know what's going to happen is distressing to our brain. Anxiety prompts us to do something to solve that unknown, to eliminate that feeling of the unknown.
But what we want to do is actually start to tolerate that feeling of the unknown and not react to it. And as we know with neuroplasticity, when we have a different response, it trains our brain to produce that anxiety less and less. So things like mindfulness to the present situation and positive feelings like gratitude can actually help rewire those pathways of anxiety.
So I think of resolving anxiety or any of these other physical symptoms in two main ways. There's the top down and the bottom up approach. So the top down is changing your thinking.
And sometimes you're able to reframe things. You're able to remind yourself, oh, I don't need to worry about this. You're able to know, oh, this is just the unknown that my brain doesn't like, and that's all that I'm feeling.
But other times, trying to rationalize, trying to send messages of safety cognitively through your brain and your thoughts is not quite cutting it. And your body still has this response, and then that affects actually what you believe and think. So there's the bottom up approaches, which are more somatic, meaning using your body.
So I want to give you an example of what happened with me last week. That's actually why I thought about recording this podcast, and I recorded it last week, but it didn't work, had to re-record it. And so here's an example of what happened.
I was sleeping and woke up in the morning, actually about 3 a.m. with anxiety, and I could feel just this uncomfortable feeling in my body and heart racing, and I started thinking about what was going on. And for me, the unknown was, I had a week coming up where my sister was out of town and my family was in charge of helping my dad, and there were some things that I still wanted to get done that week, and I was worried about schedules and how we'd work it all out and how I'd make it work.
So my brain was in this state of, there's something new going on this week that's out of the ordinary, out of the routine, something we haven't dealt with exactly before. How are we gonna figure out? How are we gonna solve it?
And there was this like racing mind and then just a lot of body symptoms that were uncomfortable. So the first thing that I did was I labeled it. I identified, okay, this is anxiety, and it's because my brain has an unknown.
And then what I did was actually somatic tracking, just like you would do somatic tracking with a pain signal describing how it feels in your body and the shape and the color. I did that with anxiety. So I said to myself, this is anxiety.
It feels like my heart is racing. It feels like it's hard for me to breathe. My chest feels tight.
My stomach was really tight and hurting. That's one of my big cues for me that I am having some stress since most of my issues were GI issues to begin with. I feel this energy to try to go do something, even though I'm tired and I want to sleep.
And I just tuned in to how my body was feeling and described it. It kind of felt like a lot of fast moving energy, like a buzzing, tingling and activated feeling. And it was mainly throughout my chest and I was also feeling it in my head.
And to me, it was like kind of warm and the color red. So one way to start creating some new neural pathways is not to go down the rabbit hole of, how do I solve this problem and how do I fix it? And what should we do this week in order to feel better?
It was just stopping, labeling that this is what's going on and actually tuning in to how my body felt. Because I want to send the message to the brain that this is not something I need to worry about right now. This is a danger signal that is a false danger signal.
I was actually in no danger at that moment laying in my bed, thinking of something that was going to happen later in the week. And so I wanted to reaffirm to my brain that at this present moment, right now, in time, you're feeling sensations. And all of those thoughts around them are not what we need to focus on right now.
And they're not even really dangerous. Once I was able to notice how my body was feeling with anxiety, I started working on some somatic approaches, some bottom-up approaches of changing my body state so that I would feel better. I chose breathing and I actually tried a few different breathing methods to try to put that roadblock up and distract my mind and form these new neural pathways to start to focus on the breath rather than the thoughts in my mind.
For me, since I was having those stomach tightening issues, I really found that the breathing method that helps that for me the most is diaphragmatic breathing or it's called belly breathing. So basically, you imagine that you're inflating your stomach, you're breathing all the way down into your belly as you inhale and really let that stomach expand and stretch out as you bring the air down there. And then as you exhale, your stomach comes in.
So I was trying to breathe through my stomach. And I know from experience that with some of my clients, that's not even always possible. They can't even quite take a full breath.
So there are many other breathing methods you could try. I did some box breathing, which is breathing in for four, holding for four, holding for four, exhaling for four, and holding for four. I did a few rounds of that.
I tried the physiological sigh, which is breathing fully in, and then you breathe in a little bit more, and then a long exhale. Anything with a long exhale helps engage that parasympathetic calm state, the rest and repair state, and decreases that fire flight or sympathetic response. So there are many different breathing techniques.
You can experiment with them, find different ones to try and see what works for you, but just know that breathing is one of the ways that you can change your body state, and then that can change what's going on with your mind and your thoughts. So for me, just focusing on the breathing for a little while and even just trying some different methods of breathing helped calm me down quite a bit. When my thoughts would return to the planning or the fear, I just noticed I was going into the thoughts and into the story, and I tuned back into my body.
And for me, since it was the middle of the night and I was in bed, I didn't really want to get up and do any of the physical moving techniques that can calm anxiety. And so I laid in bed and found a meditation, a guided meditation that I listened to, and I was able to focus in on that rather than the thoughts that were swirling around. And I was actually able to get back to sleep by listening to that soothing context of this guided meditation.
What I was able to do is show to my brain that I'm able to shift my focus. I sometimes think of a spotlight where the brain is spotlighting these certain thoughts, these certain feelings, and I'm moving the spotlight to something else that's more calm and more neutral and not even related to this false danger signal. Sometimes when I have anxiety during the day, I may move my body, go on a walk, or use some of my other senses to calm my nervous system.
So you can use your vision with a peripheral vision technique where you focus on something and then expand your vision so that you're seeing more of the periphery. I've used tapping sometimes, which uses the acupressure points and helps calm the body through pressure. There's things like humming or going and getting a glass of cold water that can help.
There's a variety of different techniques that you can try for calming anxiety through your body, but all of them involve doing something that's distracting or focusing on something else rather than engaging those thoughts and going into those thought loops of trying to solve this quote unquote dangerous problem. And sometimes for me and my clients, I found that once the body gets a little bit of soothing, then we are able to better access some of those top down approaches. Here are a few other ways to think about anxiety that have helped me.
One thing I've heard is that anxiety and excitement use the same physiological response in the body. So if you think of excitement, it's actually very similar to those feelings of anxiety, maybe like a tightness in your stomach or in your chest or racing heart. That can happen with excitement too.
Imagine you're about to go on a roller coaster and you're feeling that excitement of it. And so I've heard that anxiety is excitement without the breath. So sometimes when I'm feeling those feelings of anxiety, I can remind myself how closely they resemble those feelings of excitement, but without the breath so I can remember to breathe.
Another way I've thought about this habit of anxiety is that our brain actually likes solving problems. It gets a little bit of dopamine when we have a problem and we fix it in our mind. And so we may have inadvertently trained our brain to look for more problems to fix so that we get this little bit of dopamine.
So this is the habit that is going on, looking for problems, trying to find things to solve. And so it's like the brain is kind of throwing a stick for us to go chase. And every time we chase it, it reinforces this pattern of when there's a stick thrown, we have to go chase it.
So I try to think when some of these anxious thoughts come up, I don't have to chase every stick the brain is throwing. Or if the brain is opening a door with these thoughts of anxiety, the brain can keep opening these doors, but I don't have to walk through them. So the point here is that we're not trying to eliminate anxiety.
We're not fighting it once it comes up because we're in this habit. Anxious thoughts will come up. That's just not even a problem.
It's just how we react to them that will change how our brain keeps producing them or not. Then you can go to maybe some mantras or affirmations that resonate for you when you have anxiety. So I've gathered a few that I want to read to you, and you can see if some of these, even just one of them, resonates with you that you could use during times of anxiety.
It's okay that I'm feeling this way. It's uncomfortable, but it's safe. This moment is temporary.
I'm in control. I can do hard things. I'm enough.
My anxiety is lying to me. I'm allowing this sensation in my body to be present. I'm not in any danger.
This is just my mind playing tricks on me. I can get through whatever life throws at me. I have the power to control my thoughts and feelings.
I'm stronger than this emotion. I'm in full control of my body. I'm confident.
I'm not afraid to make mistakes. I'm good at solving the problems in the moment. So if or when it comes up, I will solve it easily, and I don't have to think about all of the what-ifs right now.
I know that I'm able to ask for and receive help if I need it. I've survived this before, and I can survive it again. This is the feeling of the unknown, and I can get used to it.
My feelings are allowed to be here. I'm in control. When you can lean into those feelings of anxiety or the unknown and tolerate them more and more without reacting, then, as I've said over and over, your brain will produce them less.
This is the way to unlearn anxiety. And then one last thought is that the opposite of anxiety is not calm, it's trust. So often you'll hear people say, just calm down and calm your mind, and if that seems really hard, going to calm may be too far of a leap for you, and you don't even have to get to this calm state, but you could maybe lean into trust.
For me, starting to trust is this feeling of, if this thing comes up, I'll figure out how to handle it. I have a very powerful mind that can solve problems, but I don't need to solve all of these problems right now. I can trust that if it does come up, I'll know what to do or I'll ask for help if I need it.
So I hope this helps if you identify with having any kind of anxiety. First of all, knowing that it is very common. It's a survival state that your brain has learned and gotten very good at going into.
It may even be a state you've lived in for a long time, and that is still okay. You will be able to rewire it. You'll be able to teach your brain not to go into it as often as you allow it and understand it and react in these other ways rather than getting into all of the thoughts and problem solving.
And lastly, what I'll say is, I've found it very common that people start with symptoms of chronic pain, and when those symptoms go down, they actually have an increase in anxiety. So maybe they haven't really thought of themselves as a super anxious person, or maybe that was something they dealt with in the past, and then the pain has preoccupied their mind. But it can be one of those symptom imperatives.
It's kind of like whack-a-mole. You hit down that pain, and then something else pops up, a new symptom. And often one of those symptoms can be anxiety.
So it's very normal. It's also able to be reversed, and just takes patience and compassion with yourself and consistency. It's like training a puppy.
You don't have to eliminate that behavior of the brain, but you just respond to it differently over time, and the brain learns to produce it less. If you are struggling with anxiety or other physical symptoms, and you're ready to take it to the next level, apply all of this work, have a community of people around you that are going through something similar so you don't feel alone, then please check out my group coaching membership, Alignment Academy. I have the link in my bio, and you can check out more about how you can support yourself through this time of change, rewiring your brain, and healing in a compassionate way and in a way that will get you the results faster than if you were doing it on your own.
Okay, thanks guys. Have a good week. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #122- Pain When Things Are Good Dec 15, 2023

Pain when things are good is a phenomenon I see when people are unlearning pain and learning to regulate their nervous systems.

When you're used to being in high alert, then letting your guard down and feeling safe can actually seem dangerous.

We can expand our ability to stay in the "rest and repair state" longer, but some people have learned resting is "lazy" or having fun is "selfish".

Watch for this in yourself- if your symptoms come in a time of more calm or peace, don't worry!

This is actually a sign your nervous system is EXPANDING.

The rest and repair state can become more normal for you than survival mode, but the nervous system has to go through growth to get there.

If you are looking to support your growth in a loving, fun and nurturing community, check out Alignment Oasis and the specials I have going on now:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/alignment-oasis

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 122, Pain When Things Are Good. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become unstoppable body and mind. Hello, my loves. I wanted to record this episode because this is a phenomenon that I see a lot.
As people are healing, making new neural pathways, rewiring, regulating their nervous system, it can actually feel unsafe in a way to just let your guard down and feel good. So if you think about the nervous system states, the rest and repair state, the parasympathetic calm state, that state is when you trust and feel okay about things, and things are going to work out, and you're not on high alert. But if you're used to being on high alert, being in the calm state can feel dangerous.
And that's what I want to talk about. I actually experienced that over Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was actually my birthday this year.
And so it was a really, really fun weekend, basically. The Wednesday, the night before, I had my birthday dance. Actually, during the day, some friends helped me get this couch that I really wanted, and they moved it into my house, and it's in awesome condition, and it's so soft, and I just felt so grateful.
I got spoiled all day Wednesday. And then Thursday was Thanksgiving, my actual birthday, and we had a great get together with my family, and some really good times, and people were celebrating me there. And then that night, I started getting some anxious thoughts, some familiar stomach symptoms, discomfort.
And it would be easy to say like, oh, I just had Thanksgiving dinner, that's why my stomach is upset. But what really tipped me off were the kind of thoughts that I was having. I started kind of having these ruminating thoughts.
I was actually thinking of that couch that I had gotten the day before. And there was another one on the Facebook Marketplace that I thought might have been slightly better. So I was regretting my decision about that couch.
I had recently helped purchase a car for my daughter, like a used car, and then it had mechanical problems right off the bat within the first week. And so I was, you know, questioning my judgment. And the biggest tip off though for me was I was having these thoughts like, what if mind-body stuff isn't true?
What if what I'm teaching, you know, doesn't actually work and doesn't help people? And that's when I was like, okay, brain, what's going on? I think what had happened was I'd seen someone in my family like rubbing their shoulder and talking about getting an injection.
And it was from across the room. I wasn't part of the conversation. But, you know, as a physical therapist before this, a lot of times they would ask me about my opinion.
And I just, I think everything basically was going so well in my life, feeling really loved, appreciated, adored, taken care of. And I started just worrying about things that didn't even really make sense. So even though, you know, I've had so much success myself in my life, it's changed my life, to have this mind-body perspective and to understand things and change things in my life so I could feel better.
And I know it's happened for so many of my clients and, you know, hundreds and thousands of other people that also use these methods that other people have worked with. Like, of course, this mind-body stuff works. And so I think my high alert system was just looking for something to worry about.
Kind of like I haven't been worrying about something for a while, and it doesn't really feel safe to just feel this good for this long without starting to worry about things. Can you guys relate? Does this sound familiar?
Part of the reason this happens is this is just how the nervous system changes. Over time, there's an expand and then contract. So when I was feeling good for a few days, it was like an expansion, and then the nervous system kicks in.
Hey, are we still safe? Let's worry about this. And then I can expand and contract.
So you don't always have to be improving. In fact, this is just the sign that your nervous system is growing. The rewiring is working.
Subconsciously, my nervous system is still always going to be scanning possible dangers. So for me, when I was having those GI symptoms, I quickly related it to the kinds of thoughts and worries that were coming up. I could really see that there were some thoughts that were out of the ordinary for me to think.
And I also did take a peppermint pill because generally that does help soothe my stomach and indigestion and gassiness and all that. So for you guys who are wondering, when you do have actual physical symptoms caused by your brain and nervous system, you can choose how to react, but your brain doesn't have to do all the work. I think as long as you're acknowledging, yes, I can see that this has a mind-body component.
Oh, I'm stressed in this way. This makes sense. Then you can still use things that feel appropriate to help with some physical soothing.
So you might take a bath or use a heating pad or take some medicine. Those things are okay. And you can still rewire your brain to realize this is a stress response.
And when I just soothe myself or mind myself, it's okay. And work on stretching out those times and feeling better more and more of the time and trusting that it's okay to feel in this calm, safe state more and more of the time. Your nervous system will expand.
The rest and repair state can become more of your normal state, and you'll have less body symptoms and pain. Here are some of my clients in Alignment Academy talking about just this.
I feel like my basal stress level is lower than it has been in five years since all the things started. And so that's huge.
I feel like I've been just winning all over the place lately with regards to my pain and my body and all of that. I just keep like cluing in to when I'm not having pain, which is more often than not the case, I'm starting to really try to think like, am I feeling safe? You know, really trying to clue into that feeling of safety.
And I just I keep noticing it over and over again. So maybe that's part of the reason or the reason why my pain has just been so much less.
I have something amazing that happened. I had a high school reunion event. I have all these diet restrictions and trouble eating things.
And I went there and had so much fun and was able to eat all the stuff. I didn't have pain. Like normally the thing that I always fear is like the heartburn, the pain, like, you know, severe pain in my stomach.
And I didn't have like any of that.
Amazing. If you are looking for a community of support for similar people focused on wellness, please look into Alignment Academy. And actually, depending on when you listen to this, at the first of next year, Alignment Academy is getting a makeover.
My new program will have all the same content, but it's called Alignment Oasis, an online wellness retreat for body and mind. Instead of having a feel like learning an academy and more work, I know that everyone already has a lot of work. It might not sound relaxing to come to a program and have a lot of homework and things to do, but for Alignment Oasis, we'll have just the same material to cover with an emphasis on fun.
So instead of a workbook, there'll be a playbook. It'll have games and activities and a lot of guidance. If you are not sure where you are on this journey, what activities to start with and where to start, that's best for you.
Maybe you've tried it on your own, and you see how having some support and community could help. Or maybe you've tried other groups and didn't get the results you wanted. Chances are you've tried a lot of things to help with your healing, and I understand it can be frustrating to think of another option.
And what if it doesn't work? In Alignment Oasis, I'll help you feel more relaxed when you come to coaching calls. You'll learn so many tools and ideas for soothing your nervous system and calming.
It'll be like going to a beach resort that you can access from your own home. When learning is combined with play, the brain learns so much quicker. In fact, scientists have discovered it takes about 400 repetitions to create new synapses in the brain, unless it's done in play, in which case it only takes 10 to 20 repetitions.
When you're unlearning pain and learning to regulate your nervous system, play helps by not just telling your nervous system that you're safe, but actually showing it. So check out the link in my show notes. I have some special introductory pricing going on for Alignment Oasis.
Hope to see you there. Thanks guys. Have a good week.
Bye. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me.
Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #121- Tree Meditation for Calming Anxiety Oct 28, 2023

Anxiety may be a familiar state for you - whether you have chronic pain or not.

Anxiety is the nervous system state of "Flight". We are often not running from a tiger, but we are running to do more, scan for danger, and fix problems.

Anxiety is uncomfortable in the body, and prompts action- doing or thinking constantly to feel better.

The solution to unlearning anxiety and teaching the brain not to go into anxious habits is to go INTO the sensation instead of trying to avoid it.

This tree meditation will help you explore the sensations of anxiety neutrally, so you can help them pass and train your brain to produce them less.

For a limited time, book a 55 min Clarity Session with me for just $39.

Bring a struggle in your life (chronic pain, relationships, business, emotions, health), and leave with understanding to improve it.

New clients only, one per person

https://calendly.com/thebetsyjensen/39-clarity-session

For weekly calls and community support integrating this work into your life, check out Alignment Academy:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/alignment-academy-membership

Please subscribe and share this podcast with someone who might love it!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode #120 -Play is Medicine Oct 18, 2023

Did you know play and fun may be the missing piece to your healing?

Our society tells us we must work hard to get what we want, and we may discredit things that seem too easy.

But there are many scientific benefits of play.

We can learn faster (It takes only 10-40 repetitions in play, vs 400 repetitions).

Play, happiness or joy release endorphins (pain relieving qualities).

Play improves brain function, flexible thinking, improves memory and stimulates growth of the cerebral cortex.

Play is restorative- and it is the opposite of the fear-based survival states.

But if you’re not used to playing and find it hard, you can grow your capacity to be in the “rest and repair state”.

Listen in for more explanations of play as medicine, and how you can start to add more play to your life!

For a limited time, book a 55 min Clarity Session with me for just $39.

Bring a struggle in your life (chronic pain, relationships, business, emotions, health), and leave with understanding to improve it.

New clients only, one per person

https://calendly.com/thebetsyjensen/39-clarity-session

For weekly calls and community support integrating this work into your life, check out Alignment Academy:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/alignment-academy-membership

Please subscribe and share this podcast with someone who might love it!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 120, Play is Medicine. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become unstoppable body and mind. Hello, my loves. Today, I'm talking about one of my favorite concepts, and that is that play is medicine.
Play is important. Play and fun are part of healing. We tend to have this idea that we need to work hard, that healing is going to be hard, that things aren't very valuable if we don't work hard to get them, and we tend to even discount if things are easy.
Like, it's not going to work if you're just having fun, resting, feeling good. You have to work hard to get the results you want. But the opposite is actually true with healing, especially healing chronic pain and disease.
When your nervous system is already dysregulated and in a high alert state, working hard and pushing can keep you dysregulated. You just need to have the balance of work and play for healing. I'm going to tell you a few of the scientific reasons that play is important.
When we learn in play, we actually learn much more quickly. Dr. Karen Purvis says that scientists have discovered it takes approximately 400 repetitions to create a new synapse in the brain. Unless it's done in play, in which case it only takes 10 to 20.
So 400 repetitions, doing it the hard work way, versus 10 to 20 repetitions when you're doing it in a fun, playful way. Your brain learns better that way, and it actually changes the chemicals in your body. This is a quote from Curable.
Joy, play, relaxation, spontaneity, acceptance of the present moment, and gratitude all have the ability to release pain-inhibiting chemicals in the body. In play, we actually release endorphins, so we feel less pain. Play also improves brain function and encourages flexible thinking.
Play improves memory. It sparks creativity and imagination. It keeps us feeling young and energetic.
It stimulates growth of the cerebral cortex, and play is restorative. So instead of just trying to tell your nervous system over and over that you're safe, in play, you're actually showing your nervous system that you're safe. In nervous system terms, you could think of play in the parasympathetic calm state.
When you're feeling safe, when you're feeling connected and inspired, when your basic needs are met, when you're not focusing on fear and worries and unmet needs, you can be in the state of things are going to be okay. Life is working out for me. And even being in that state momentarily, it's the rest and repair state, has healthy benefits for your body.
We need to not just decrease our anxiety, but increase the amount of time that we're in this parasympathetic calm state, feeling content, satisfied, happy, joyful, grateful, and we can do that through play. If you're not used to resting or playing, it can seem boring. It can seem pointless, like you should be doing something.
If you're used to being in that high alert state of flight, where you're perfectionistic, and you don't feel like you can rest, and you want to always be doing things, it can be actually uncomfortable at first to lean into resting and playing. I've had people where they actually start to get pain signals because they're resting and their nervous system is not used to it and wants to keep going back to that high alert state to give them something to worry about. So realize if you haven't been in that safe-feeling, playful state very much lately, that first of all, that's understandable.
Don't be too hard on yourself. If it's not easy to just start having fun, let your guard down and start wanting to play. I have a million screenshots saved on my phone, and this quote is from Adam Grant.
Resting is not a waste of time. It's an investment in well-being. Relaxing is not a sign of laziness.
It's a source of energy. Breaks are not distractions. They're a chance to refocus attention.
Play is not a frivolous activity. It's a path to connection and creativity. I love this because when I look at the description of the parasympathetic calm state, it is the place that you're actually using your prefrontal cortex more than the survival states, you know, where you're using your primitive brain, your amygdala, limbic system.
So in the parasympathetic calm state or when you're playing, you have a better ability to connect, to learn, to be inspired, to be in the present moment, to connect and to be creative. In pain reprocessing therapy, like in the book The Way Out by Alan Gordon, they talk about avoidance activities. Even that name kind of makes it sound bad, like you're not doing it right because you're avoiding.
But especially when your pain is high, you're not going to be able to process all of the emotions or the physical sensations. You're not going to be able to do somatic tracking as easily, which is being neutral about sensations. So especially when your pain is high, you need to distract.
You need to avoid. You need to just go watch a show or lay down or take a break from work and stretch. We're not meant to process all of our feelings and emotions all of the time that won't help us heal.
We have to have these times that we're also feeling good, having fun, thinking pleasant thoughts. Especially if you're in the nervous system state of freeze. That is the overwhelm, shut down.
You're likely to have a lot of negative, sad, depressed emotions like shame and helplessness, hopelessness, overwhelm, despair. And you also have a very low capacity for processing emotions when you're in shame. You're so dysregulated and you're having so many of these negative emotions, it's too much for you to process.
You're not going to process your way out of them. A lot of times you'll hear you have to feel it to heal it, but when you're stuck in freeze, you could just keep feeling it and feeling it and feeling it. And because of the pain fear cycle, your pain is actually getting worse.
So please understand that part of healing is not just working hard, but also leaning into things that feel good. There's a book called Letting Go by Dr. David Hawkins, and he talks about when you're in a very stressful situation, that it's actually good to take some purposeful distractions. So you're not just mindlessly going to the pantry and eating whatever's there, but maybe you do get your favorite chocolate bar and have some pieces of it.
Here's a quote from Letting Go that talks about how we can mindfully push emotions away until we have the capacity to deal with them. When the emotion or we could talk about pain, sensation, is overwhelming, we want to disassemble it and let it go in bits and pieces. He says, It's all right consciously to push away as much of the emotion as we're capable of at the moment.
It's also all right in this circumstance consciously to utilize escape mechanisms, such as going out in a social situation, playing with a dog, watching television, going to the movies, playing music, making love, or whatever one's habit is under the circumstances. So this is how you can reduce the intensity of the feeling or sensation so that you can process it when your brain is more online. One example I noticed where I had resistance in my life to feeling good was when my mom passed away.
And I remember within the first few days, I was also doing some normal things of life, as you do, taking my daughter to school, and I heard a song on the radio that I liked, and I started to dance to it and smile. And then I remembered, no, I can't. I'm in grief.
Almost like it would be not honoring my mom if I felt good when there's this bad situation. And you might see some of that in yourself. Maybe it's because you've had pain so long or because of the things in the world or someone else that you love is sad, and so you don't really feel okay about feeling good in your life or doing things that bring you joy or have fun.
But although it's counterintuitive, although it may not feel natural at first, play and fun and joy and happiness may be the missing piece to your healing. Now, if you're like a lot of adults that I talk to, they don't even know what they like anymore. They don't have really good ideas of things that are fun for them.
Often the people that I coach with chronic pain, the thing that they really used to love, they're not able to do anymore because of their pain and restrictions with activity. So it can be a challenge to start to have ideas of what's even fun for you. This is part of the process.
It's like this playground you get to experiment with and see what you like. It can be intimidating at first. That's normal.
So here are some ideas for play. Laughter, so sharing a joke. Playing with a pet or child.
And I just remember when my kids were young and they would want me to play with them, how draining and exhausting that was for me at that point. I was not in the parasympathetic calm state. Felt like I had a lot of things to do.
So if it seems more taxing to you to play with a child or a dog, choose something that sounds easier from this list. You could remember what you like to do as a child. So maybe you were into art or construction or science kits or more social activities.
You could go outside. Even if you're not able to walk outside, sitting outside, putting your bare feet on the earth, those types of things can feel fun and playful. You could dance or listen to music.
And even if you're not physically able to get up and dance, even closing your eyes and visualizing yourself dancing can be very powerful. And also just prioritizing play, giving yourself some time to be lazy and figure out what comes up for you, what ideas you have. I like to think that there are hundreds of different ways that you can regulate your nervous system, that you can rewire your pain, and that you can process these emotions.
And what we get to do is figure out for us what feels most downstream. I got this concept from Abraham Hicks. They talk about upstream and downstream.
So if you put your canoe in the river and start paddling upstream, you're not going to get very far, and it's going to be really tiring. And it will look like you're working really hard and you'll feel really accomplished because you've done so much, but also you're not going to get as far. And downstream would be you put your canoe in and you get a lot further because you're going with the flow.
It's not as hard for you to make yourself do these things that are supposed to be beneficial for you. So what's upstream or downstream for me is going to be different than for you. Something that's downstream for me is dancing, like partner dancing.
And for other people, that would not be pleasant or relaxing at all. You can really start with thinking of what's the next easiest thing. When I first started this work, I would think, okay, I'll relax by buying a new instrument, taking lessons, and learning a skill.
Like, that's what I was thinking I would do to relax. But this I'm talking about just playing, spending time, doing something that you enjoy without a result or outcome that you're looking for. Sometimes there are just things you have to do, and they're not very fun.
So I do like to ask myself, how could I make this more fun? Or how could this be more playful? So sometimes I might set a timer, or I might turn on some music.
Use your powerful brain to ask it questions like this, and you may be surprised at what answers you come up with. I promise you that going downstream and working with your nervous system and doing more things that are playful and fun and bring joy, this will help your healing faster than working hard and trying to do it perfectly. If you feel like fun might be part of what you're missing in your healing journey, then please look up my coaching and my programs.
I'm offering a $39 clarity call with me. If you want to talk more about your situation and how play may help you in your healing journey. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #119- High Alert Oct 01, 2023

One habit that leads to the perpetuation of chronic pain is being in high alert.

Do you often go to the worst case scenario? Do you habitually worry? When you don't have pain are you thinking about when the pain may return?
These are signs you are living in high alert, and making your pain worse.

When the brain is in a high alert, fear based state, then it can percieve normal signals in the body as dangerous and produce pain.

High alert can be reinforced by technology, facing uncertainty, or feeling trapped.

Listen in for more details about the high alert state and how we can rewire those neural pathways to ones of safety, calm, peace and freedom.

For weekly calls and community support integrating this work into your life, check out Alignment Academy:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/alignment-academy-membership

Plus click below for my special PRT-based group if you have back or neck pain specifically.

This six month group will walk you through PRT concepts, the latest research on back and necks, and even individual coaching sessions for deeper somatic work- all for an amazing low price:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/happy-back-&-neck-club

Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 119, High Alert. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become unstoppable body and mind. Hello, my loves. Today is an episode about this tendency of many people who have chronic pain or disease to be in high alert and how that high alert state affects our body.
Spoiler alert, it does not do helpful things for our body to constantly be in high alert. As you may know, I've been doing a book club for Alan Gordon's book, The Way Out, and he has a chapter all about breaking the habit of being in high alert. And he has a couple of interesting quotes that 55% of Americans say that they are dealing with a lot of stress.
And we know from neuroscience and studying chronic pain that when people are in more of a fear state, if they're on high alert, they're sensing danger, then their brain is less likely to interpret the signals correctly. The brain is more likely to interpret safe signals as dangerous when you're in a fear-based state. So decreasing this habit of being in high alert will decrease your chronic pain.
Now, one area that can cause people a lot of high alert is technology. Our phones are something that we may check several times a day, maybe hundreds of times a day. And we have constant access to emails and social media and news and all of the Google information about medical conditions, all at our fingertips.
So it's very easy to live in a state of high alert, thinking that everything is always dangerous because we're consuming information, teaching our body that things are dangerous, especially if it's like news that is cultivated to get us into a fear-based state. So you can look at how you're using your technology. You do not have to be perfectionistic about it.
And I like to see that there are some benefits of technology. And even things like social media, you could follow people that are posting funny videos of babies and kittens and funny memes, and you could have a very different experience scrolling on social media than someone who is engaging in activating arguments and comments and ingesting a lot of fearful information. They've shown that your cortisol level goes up every time you hear your phone notification or think you hear your phone.
And I've definitely experienced this as I've been a moderator in some of these groups and putting my stuff out there and receiving comments. My brain automatically goes to fight or flight when I see that there's a comment about my post. I'm in this state of anticipation as I open it.
And so far, knock on wood, no one has ever been really mean or said really hurtful or fearful things to me. And my brain is starting to get out of that habit rather than assuming the worst every time I see a notification. But just notice for you, when you're getting notifications or when you're checking your phone, what state your nervous system is in and what emotional state you're in.
Another thing that can put our brain on high alert is when we're facing uncertainty. Our brain does not like things that are unknown, unpredictable, and uncertainty can cause stress to the system. And we can accentuate that by our beliefs.
We can really believe that every decision we make is very important. And often we can get into this nervous system state of flight where we are trying to find problems and trying to solve them. And by doing that repeatedly, our brain starts to think this is very important and will actually start creating problems for us to worry about and then solve.
We know that our brains actually do get a little bit of dopamine when we solve a problem. So this is a way our brain can control getting little bits of dopamine in an uncertain situation, is to think of all the things that could happen and how we would solve that. And it can seem like a productive thing to do, but when we are worrying excessively, when we are overthinking, when we're preoccupied with things, we are in this flight mode of the nervous system.
We are not thinking clearly. We're using our survival brain, and we're actually perceiving the world differently when we're in any of these nervous system states. So if you're in fight or flight, you're more likely to see the world as dangerous and just perceive it that way.
So you may have gotten into the habit of seeing things that could be dangerous and thinking about them and worrying about them, but worry does not help. It really doesn't help anything. It really just makes your nervous system dysregulated, and most of the things we worry about never actually even happen.
And when you're not worrying about things, as much, you may be surprised about how your life unfolds in different ways than you ever would have possibly imagined. If you tend to go to the worst-case scenario, maybe you could spend some time thinking about how you do want the situation to go and what if it does go well. And if there are little things that you can do to calm some of your fears about uncertainty, you could start to develop the belief and find evidence for the belief that things are going to be okay either way.
Usually when there is uncertainty, like a decision we're making, if it is a decision we didn't already easily make, it's because either outcome has some positive and some negative. They're probably about 50-50 on either outcome. So seeing that either way things turn out, you still have tools to support yourself.
You may have the ability to ask for help or problem solve in the moment. You don't have to worry and stress about it now if you have that belief that when the time comes up, you'll be able to use that great analytical mind of yours in the moment to solve the problem. You don't have to do it right now.
That kind of thought has helped me a lot as I've been preparing for podcast interviews, for example. So I used to stay up at night thinking about how I would phrase things, kind of going through the interview in my head, not getting great sleep, feeling more brain fog and confusion in the morning. So instead of doing that, I have just come to this place of understanding that my brain thinks well on the spot.
If I don't plan it, things go better. I'll be inspired to know what I need to say as long as I focus on my nervous system and remaining more calm. Then those things flow naturally, and I don't have to figure everything out ahead of time.
The more you worry and look for things to worry about, the stronger those neural pathways will be, and the easier it is to find things to worry about. But the more you practice seeing safety, that you can do it, that things work out, that you don't have to do things for everyone. Sometimes it's better to let them actually learn and do things for themselves.
Keep looking for examples, like we do with Detective for the Opposite, with pain. Look for examples of there being uncertainty, and you being able to handle it. Maybe thinking of other times that you've worried quite a bit about things that never actually even happened.
Another big way that we stay on high alert is by feeling trapped. Dr. Schubiner said in his experience, and he's been doing this work for decades, he has found that every case of mind-body syndrome or neuroplastic pain has an element of feeling trapped. So maybe you're feeling trapped in your job or in a physical situation in your house.
But I want you to think for yourself. If you have chronic pain or disease, if you have a sense of feeling trapped in some way, feeling trapped will put your nervous system in high alert. Sometimes you may be in situations that you feel trapped by your pain.
I know for me, I struggled with a lot of digestive issues. So there are many times that I felt like I needed to excuse myself from a conversation and go find a bathroom. And usually, actually, that's when I would have the worst type of symptoms is when I would think, you know, there's this amount of time that I need to be here talking to this person before I can leave or there isn't a bathroom nearby.
Any of those feeling trapped without an escape or without a solution would actually make my symptoms so much worse. There may be certain things that you develop that you're able to say to people to get out of a conversation or to set yourself up for success by knowing where the bathrooms are, or you could schedule yourself breaks so you're not rushing from one thing to another and you're giving yourself more time in between. In The Way Out, Alan Gordon uses an example of feeling trapped on a plane when the person next to him was asleep and he wanted to get up to stretch his back but didn't feel like he wanted to wake up that person.
What he did in the future was change his seat for the return flight home so that he was on an aisle, and then he found that he only actually did need to get up once or twice during the flight, but just giving himself that permission and that access to getting up if he needed to, he found he actually didn't even need to get up that often. How does this resonate? Do you see these patterns of being on high alert in your life?
This is contributing to your chronic pain. When you're in high alert, your brain is more likely to misinterpret safe signals of the body as dangerous. So fear and high alert do produce more pain.
Pain reprocessing therapy, PRT, is focused on decreasing these neural pathways of fear, danger, anxiety, worry, high alert, and making new neural pathways, building new connections to the emotions that we do want, safety, calmness, and freedom. So not just decreasing the high alert and anxiety, but increasing the time we're feeling safe and good. And that's what I'm going to talk about next week on the podcast is embracing and leaning into more of the positive feelings.
And that's one of my favorite things to teach about. If you are resonating with this information, if you want to learn more about pain reprocessing, and if you want to do so in a community with support and with coaching, I have some great options. Alignment Academy is my monthly membership where you'll get loads of coaching, group coaching, and written coaching.
Plus, I have a super cool group coming up focused on back and neck pain exclusively called Happy Back and Neck Club. Although PRT does treat all symptoms the same way, I wanted to have a group focused on backs and necks partially because there's so much research out there. It's one of the most commonly studied areas, partially because as a physical therapist, I had a specific interest in this and treated a lot of people with back pain.
And I've even struggled with my own back pain on and off. So I feel like I have a few personal tricks up my sleeve of what I've found helpful, including things like kinesiotape to help support the nervous system and the fascia. Happy Back in Net Club is an amazing low price for individual and group coaching.
So please check that out in the show notes if that's of interest to you. All right, my loves, have a great week. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode # 118- Pain is a Danger Signal Sep 20, 2023

New pain science teaches something different than what I learned in Physical Therapy school 20 years ago.

Pain is not directly related to the amount of injury present in the body.

Pain does not indicate tissue damage, but rather pain is a danger signal.

Research into chronic pain shows the brain actually processes it differently once it’s lasted past 3-6 months.

There are 44 areas of the brain associated with chronic pain, and the main one is the center of learning and memory.

Just as pain can become learned, it can become unlearned - through pain Reprocessing therapy (PRT)

Listen for more info and research about how pain is a dangerous signal, and how it can be unlearned by PRT.

Plus click below for my special PRT-based group if you have back or neck pain specifically.

This six month group will walk you through PRT concepts, the latest research on back and necks, and even individual coaching sessions for deeper somatic work- all for an amazing low price:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/happy-back-&-neck-club

Transcript-Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 118, Pain is a Danger Signal. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become unstoppable body and mind. Hello, my loves. This episode is about a basic concept in pain reprocessing, that pain is a danger signal.
And if you are suffering from chronic back or neck pain, stay till the end and listen, I have something special for you. So basically this idea, this concept, that pain is a danger signal, is something that I recently learned. And I was a physical therapist for 20 years.
I worked with people in pain, a lot of people in chronic pain, but I never knew there was a distinction between the types of pain. When an injury is new and just healing, like if someone sprains their ankle and it's healing, that's different. It's actually processed differently and different parts of the brain light up than when pain becomes chronic, which generally they consider three to six months.
That's the normal healing time. Actually, a bone's normal healing time is six to 12 weeks. So within about three months, even a bone has healed.
So we know our body can heal, it knows how to heal, and we also know from brain scans of people with chronic pain that it's processed differently in the brain. And we also know now that all pain is produced in the brain. So the signals from the body come up to the brain for processing, and the brain determines what is important enough to send pain down to in the body.
So imagine that someone is being chased by a tiger and sprains their ankle. They are not even going to feel the pain of the sprained ankle as they're running from the tiger for their life. But when they are in a safer situation, they will feel that ankle pain so that they stop walking on it and tend to the injury.
So we know that pain is not related to the amount of injury, and actually many studies of pain-free people have now confirmed that. There have been studies of over 3,000 people who do not have back pain, and they find that things like disc bulges and herniations and degeneration and facet impingement, spondylolisthesis, so many different things that they used to say were causing pain are actually found in pain-free people. One study found that 64% of people with no back pain had disc bulges, protrusions, herniations, or disc degenerations.
So the majority of people have these things in their body, they're not causing chronic pain. I even found one study studying healthy, pain-free athletes. Oh, young athletes.
So people performing well without pain, and they're young, 89% of them had a hip labral tear. So usually we're not doing MRIs or imaging on people who do not have pain. But when they have, they start to find that there are normal abnormalities within the body that not everyone gets pain from, and especially chronic pain.
Chronic pain is actually involving many different areas of the brain, 44 different areas. About half of these areas of the brain are involved in increasing pain, and about half are involved in decreasing pain. So chronic pain is much more complicated than acute pain, how it presents in the brain after the neural pathways have been learned.
And one of the main areas associated with chronic pain in the brain, the anterior insula, is associated with learning and memory. So you can think of chronic pain as habits learned by the brain, pain patterns, muscle memory, basically, but through pain learned in the brain. Just like Pavlov's dogs were conditioned to have a response.
I didn't know this, but apparently Pavlov untrained his dogs from that response as well. And you can actually unlearn your pain through the steps of pain reprocessing therapy. When you learn that pain is a danger signal and does not mean that tissue is injured, it's like a smoke alarm that's going off when the toaster is cooking toast rather than when there's an actual fire.
So when the way we react to it can be different, we can help the brain unlearn pain. One thing we now know about chronic pain is the brain will produce more pain when the emotion of fear is involved. There are a few studies showing this.
And the first involved a hot probe and showing people some pictures. There were pleasant pictures and scary pictures. First of all, they noticed when people looked at the scary pictures, they would report greater pain with the hot probe.
And sometimes they would report pain even without the hot probe, but only when they were looking at the scary pictures and not with the pleasant ones. So we can see that the brain can produce pain when it senses danger and there's fear. Another example is a placebo car crash study that they did in Germany.
They made people believe that they were hit by a car, though they really just broke some glass and made it seem that way, but people were never actually hit. But 20% of the people did develop whiplash. And four weeks later, 10% of the people still had whiplash symptoms, even though they were never hit by another car.
And what was interesting about this group is that they were the ones that had the most emotional stress and distress in their lives at the time of this experiment. So basically, their nervous system was already stretched thin, plus something stressful, and their brain produced real symptoms of whiplash and pain in their body. One last very interesting case was a construction worker who jumped down and a nail went all the way through his boot.
He was in severe agony. They had to sedate him in order to cut his boot off. And then to their surprise, they found that he had no injury, not even a scratch.
The nail had perfectly gone between the toes, and there was no tissue damage whatsoever. Up until that point, though, he had very real pain. His brain looked at the situation with the nail through his boot and made the assumption that he would need to get medical attention and sent a lot of pain to that area to prevent him from walking on it and causing more damage.
But all that was really happening is the toes were getting some safe signals from the body of some pressure, but no damage. But the brain interpreted those signals as dangerous and created pain. Neuroplastic pain is when the brain interprets normal signals as dangerous and produces pain.
Usually, what we see happen with chronic pain is one of two things. It happens kind of spontaneously. People wake up with it.
Often, it's during a stressful time in their lives and they develop a new symptom. Or maybe you have had an injury. You were playing basketball and hurt your back, and you might have noticed and linked certain movements with pain.
So long after the tissue has healed, the brain can still create pain through predictive coding, and when the brain believes the area is still injured or needs protecting or guarding, it can still produce tightening and pain in that area with those movements or other random times. Usually what we see with chronic pain is it starts in one area and then ends up spreading to other areas or jumping from one area to another. When we can start to see this as more nervous system and fear-related and normal signals being misinterpreted as dangerous, then we can help the brain to rewire, to form new neural pathways and to unlearn this pain response, basically producing it less and less and less.
This is what pain reprocessing therapy teaches about, basic ways to do that, sending the brain messages of safety, different ways to somatically teach that to the brain and body. But it really starts with an education and this paradigm shift and starting to realize that pain is not reflective of the amount of damage in your body or injury. In the Boulder Back Pain Study, they found that people whose pain decreased the most were the people who changed their belief the most about pain being related to injury.
So that is, when they have a sensation of pain, not necessarily assuming it means that something is damaged or hurt or they've overdone it, learning new strategies to respond to with those sensations. And then by responding in different ways, the brain produces pain less and less until it becomes extinct. They showed in the Boulder Back Pain Study that rewiring chronic pain is possible for people who even have very severe structural changes.
There was one woman who had scoliosis, so her back was shaped like an S, over 73 degrees of scoliosis, and she was able to get out of chronic pain, and she didn't have to even do anything to straighten the spine. She stopped seeing her pain as dangerous. She was able to convince herself and her nervous system and brain on the body level that the sensations from her body are okay and safe, not dangerous, and then the brain produced that pain less and less and less.
If you are interested in learning more about pain reprocessing therapy, and especially if you have back or neck pain, I have an extra special offer for you. Although pain reprocessing therapy works on all the different types of body pains, if it's chronic, shoulder pain, knee pain, ankle pain, I am putting together a group just focused on people who have back and neck pain. First of all, that's very researched.
There's a lot more research on backs and necks because that's much more common in America for chronic pain. And because I've had back pain, some chronic back pain issues myself, I've dealt with a lot of people with back pain as a physical therapist, so I have a lot of the Western medicine knowledge about that. And I also have some special techniques up my sleeve, like kinesiotaping, which I think helps relax the nervous system.
It's like a moving brace for your body. So I have some specific information for people with back and neck pain who want to apply the pain reprocessing approach and get rid of their chronic pain. There will be group calls each week for our small group of just 10 people starting next week.
So I get these ideas and I act on them. So hopefully, you're listening to this podcast in real time, or maybe I'll be running another group like this in the future. It's called Happy Back and Neck Club.
And definitely, this is going to be my best priced offer if you're listening to this and get in on the offer now. Basically, I will be offering six months of group coaching calls involving training, especially months one through three to have some of the basics of pain reprocessing and the research that we know with Baxonex, as well as all of the support with the group calls. There'll be a private Facebook group for our little group.
And you will also get a three-month one-on-one coaching package with me included in this club. So this is 12 weekly sessions. Or if you want to even front load them and do two a week, you can get the amount of support that you're needing at the time that you need it.
You can listen to episode 79 about Kathleen and her chronic back pain recovery. And she was one that I coached for three months of one-on-one sessions. So three months of one-on-one sessions is super powerful, as well as the group coaching and the time that you're going to give yourself for six months to integrate and apply this information as you're rewiring your brain and neural pathways and your nervous system.
The one-on-one sessions are going to be an hour with me on Zoom where we can do somatic work, deep diving into some of your questions. And if you haven't experienced one-on-one coaching, I've been doing a lot of these single clarity sessions for people lately. And even in one session, they're reporting less pain, less anxiety, more joy in their lives.
So imagine what three months of one-on-one coaching could do for you. To get this program going, it is a very special, amazing low price of just $1,500. And if you purchase by Friday the 22nd, I will throw in three extra one-on-one sessions.
So 15 one-on-one sessions with me, $1,500 plus the whole group container. It's an amazing, amazing deal. So please jump on that if it's calling to you.
I'd love to have you in the group. There will be more information in the show notes, so be sure and check that out there. All right, guys.
Have a great week. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me.
Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #117- All About Me Aug 11, 2023

This episode was part of a video I created to "Meet the Moderator" in the Tell Me About Your Pain Facebook Group.

They had me answer some questions about myself and my healing journey, and I wanted to share that with you here.

If you are want to spend some time learning with me, while you get to know yourself and how to rewire your symptoms, be sure and join my Virtual Retreat September 2 and 3, 2023.

It will be an all day event both days- going through all of the modules and workbooks that I created for Alignment Academy- live!

There will be time for Q& A and coaching on your questions.

It's $149 or free for Alignment Academy members, so now is a great time to sign up!

For weekly calls and community support integrating this work into your life, check out Alignment Academy:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/alignment-academy-membership

Please subscribe and share this podcast with someone who might love it!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 117, All About Me. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. Hello, my loves. This episode is a Q&A that I recorded for a Facebook group that I moderate.
So I'm a moderator of the Tell Me About Your Pain, Alan Gordon's Facebook group, and they asked each of the moderators to answer a few questions about ourselves. I thought I would use some of my questions and answers for you to also get to know me a little better on this podcast. So here we go.
Hi, everyone. My name is Betsy Jensen, and I am here to introduce myself as a moderator. So first question, tell us a bit about yourself.
Okay, my name is Betsy Jensen. I live in the US in the beautiful state of Utah, and I have four kids, three boys and a girl ranging from 21 next month down to 15. And I am divorced.
I have two cats and one dog, a golden retriever. So cute. And I have been coaching for the last three years as body and mind life coach.
Before that, I was a physical therapist for 20 years. Can you summarize your mind-body syndrome or pain journey in a few sentences? The condition that brought me to mind-body syndrome was actually an autoimmune condition called ulcerative colitis.
As I mentioned, I was a physical therapist and really had some pains here and there, but didn't struggle a lot with chronic pain that was debilitating. But the digestive system for me was affected, and I had a lot of stress in my life, and most of the stress was generated by my own thoughts and pressure that I put on myself. Now I know the adaptive behaviors that my nervous system came up with, like flight, perfectionism, and fawn.
I lived in most in my life, so it makes sense that my digestive system shut down. So at the time of my life that I discovered the mind-body approach, I was getting divorced. My symptoms were flaring.
I was changing a whole bunch of things in my life, including moving out to an apartment with my kids all alone. You know, there was just a lot going on, and I was also very, very open to coaching. I had already been listening to coaching for a couple of years, and the mind-body approach just made so much sense to me.
I had always believed in a mind-body connection, and I actually majored in psychology. So I've always really liked the mind-body approach. A few people told me that ulcerative colitis was psychosomatic and referred me to John Sarno's book, The Divided Mind, where he specifically talked about ulcerative colitis.
It was before I learned about curable or Dr. Schubiner or Alan Gordon. So in that sense, you know, I just had so much belief. I was actually quite relieved and excited to hear that there was something I could do with my thoughts, creating different results in my body, because I already believed that from coaching.
So I started with the mind-body approach, loved it, healed my ulcerative colitis, really changed a lot of stressful things in my life. You know, during that time, my divorce got resolved and, you know, I started yoga, all of these healing, life-changing ways of looking at things, where I wasn't putting so much pressure on myself. And then I learned about curable and, and I started noticing that I loved talking about this stuff to anyone that I could talk to.
And when I would work with people for physical therapy, not everyone was receptive to that, but when they were, I just felt energized and excited to talk to them about it. And, and it was, it helped me so much in my life. So I was eager to share.
And so then I started really thinking, maybe I could coach on this. Maybe I could be a coach and this, the life coach school who I listened to does a coach training. And right about that time at my job, I manifest all this money.
It was back pay of about two years worth of working an extra five hours a week that they didn't know that I was working. And we figured out all at this time that they owed me all this back pay and they paid me. And I took that as a sign to just do that life coach training.
And then started specializing in working with people with chronic pain. And it's just been amazing. I mean, it's just, I loved physical therapy, but this is so much more effective and it changes people's lives in all areas, not just with pain.
So it's like looking at the whole person. I love it. Okay.
How are your chronic symptoms now? So now I just call my symptoms, my barometer. So I do have symptoms.
I wouldn't even know how often it's kind of more dependent on, you know, my stress level and how much I'm pushing myself or going out of my window of tolerance because I keep expanding in my life. So I keep, you know, doing things that are scary and sometimes my nervous system freaks out. But I see my symptoms as just that information, that it's time to recalibrate or soothe, do things that are helpful for my nervous system, rather than it being, you know, like, oh, the disease is back.
What have I done? You know, or, or something mechanical has happened, right? So my chronic symptoms now, I wouldn't say they're, they're chronic.
I'd say they're more just an indicator, like a gas gauge of, you know, how good of a job I'm doing with my self care and boundaries and being kind to myself and those kinds of things. What were the biggest influences on your journey? So the biggest influence was finding out about Dr. Sarno, Divided Mind.
At that same time, I was finding out about Joe Dispenza and his book, Becoming Supernatural. And at that same time, I was also getting into the secret. So the Law of Attraction.
And it's amazing to me how much neuroplasticity follows those rules of law of attraction. What you focus on, you create more of. And PRT principles go right along with what they teach about.
If you focus on pain, you create more of it and it's good to focus on different things and distract. It's fascinating. So I'd say those are the top three biggest influences when I started on my journey.
And then I found Cureable and Dr. Schubiner and Alan Gordon. And those three references and people have been so, so helpful just with the information that they give, the approach, the way that they explain it. It doesn't sound all woo and fluffy, like, you know, just about repressed emotions, although that can be part of it.
There's a real science based explanation for this now, which I just love. What tips would you give to those who are new on their symptom free journey? So new on the symptom free journey is an exciting time, but it is also kind of a delicate time.
So I would just say to become really familiar with this process of ups and downs in trauma healing and nervous system stuff, they call it expand contract. So there's this normal ebb and flow of life, and it's easy to think that you're doing it right when you're feeling good, and then think that you're doing something wrong when you're not feeling good. So trying to just get really neutral with those times that you're low and you're frustrated, and this too shall pass, and these things are temporary.
That's what I would advise those people who are new. What tips would you give to those who have been on this journey a while, but who aren't where they want to be in regards to their chronic symptoms? So I would say, first of all, good job for sticking with it this long.
And there's probably some reason that you have stuck with it this long. Something resonates with you. But there's also probably some reason that it's not quite fully clicking.
And with some people, it clicks really quickly and with others, you know, your nervous system just takes time to rewire. So if you've been a high intensity, high guard kind of person, on high alert, then it may be hard for your nervous system to just accept that you're safe. So if you're not where you want to be, my main advice, I would say become the detective for the opposite, like crazy.
And what I mean by that is like, imagine a detective from the movies that is keeping track on their little notebook of every little clue. Be like that with times that you feel good, because you want to start showing your brain that there are times that you feel good to look for those times and to find them more and more often. Okay, so detective for the opposite, like crazy, just start to be your own evidence.
Any little crumb, any little clue that you're like, you know, I was talking to my sister on the phone and we got laughing. And for a little millisecond, I forgot about my pain and it didn't hurt. So be detective for the opposite, like crazy, get a notebook and just like write down every little clue because your brain wants to forget and wants to not remember that.
And the other thing I would say is sometimes it's not a matter of doing more. It's a matter of doing less. So really get curious about any pressures you might be putting on yourself, any expectations, any blocks.
If you're very hard on yourself or critical, if there's a lot of frustration, just know that any of those can be part of the pain, fear cycle. Fear is not just anxiety or worry. It can be disappointment, frustration, anger.
So just notice any of those little tweaks that you can find, those subtle little things, little beliefs that you might have that it's still structural. Those little tweaks can make a big difference. And if you're having a hard time spotting them yourself, please, please look for a coach or a therapist who has been trained in this or another specialist who can give you some feedback and just getting some outside reflection.
If you haven't noticed a change in yourself, getting that outside point of view, fresh eyes can be really, really helpful. Why did you choose to become an MBS or pain coach? Well, I just feel like now that I look back at it, my whole life was leading to this.
I loved learning about the body and mind body. Even before I went to physical therapy school, I've worked with people in pain for a couple of decades. And then like I already described, I'll keep this one brief because I already talked about it.
But when I started noticing that when I would talk about it, it was energizing to me, then I was like, okay, this is, this is what I want to pursue. If people want to connect with you or your business, how should they do this? Okay, so I would definitely follow me on social media.
So Body and Mind Life Coach, you can find me on Instagram and on YouTube, Body and Mind Life Coach, and here on Facebook, it's Betsy Jensen. I'm always putting out new content there, and I have a podcast as well, Unstoppable Body and Mind. If you like listening to podcasts, I also post the videos of the podcast on YouTube, if you'd rather watch them.
And my website is bodyandmindlifecoach.com. I do have a group coaching monthly membership that is a great option for getting your coaching needs met either through the weekly group calls or through written coaching. And I do have a few one-on-one spots depending on availability.
You can see all of the details on my website. What would you like to say in conclusion? I would like to say that although this journey can be hard, it is so rewarding.
And the things that you may think of as weaknesses right now, like being very sensitive and having a lot of emotions, those can actually be your strengths. So as you learn to tune into your body, do this work to change those personality traits associated with chronic pain, learn to have boundaries and stand up for yourself and not do things out of duty and starting to really know how to care for yourself and value yourself so that you can then give to others, not giving from an empty cup. Doing this work will change your life in so many ways that you don't even know.
It's not just about getting out of pain, but changing these behavior patterns and these thought patterns will result in better relationships with others, the ability to make more money, more creativity, inspiration, connection with other people. There's so many benefits to doing this work. So you're in the right place.
Don't be shy to hop on with celebrations or questions, and we will answer within the guidelines that we have. That's what we can do in this group. And I'm just grateful to be a part of this group with you guys.
If you are listening to this when it comes out, I want to make sure you know that coming up soon, September 2nd and 3rd, I am doing a virtual retreat. It's going to be a Saturday and Sunday where we will spend the day going through all of the modules that I've created for Alignment Academy. I'll be teaching them live to answer your questions and make time to go through the workbook.
So basically spending the weekend with me on this virtual retreat, you will go through all of the modules and workbooks that I have for my Alignment Academy. It's teachings on pain reprocessing, understanding pain, the nervous system, emotions, processing emotions, how to feel emotions on purpose, how to connect with your body, and how to develop your intuition. It is going to be very insightful.
You can use this time to really get to the root cause of your chronic pain and understand it differently. This event is totally free for Alignment Academy members. So if you've been wanting to join now is a great time.
You can check the show notes for more details. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me.
Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #116- Emotional Self Connection with Molly Claire Jun 19, 2023

I'm excited to share this episode with a special guest- Life Coach and Host of "The Masterful Coach Podcast", Molly Claire

When she agreed to be on my podcast, I had no idea how much our work has in common.

Molly helps women in coaching, motherhood and family life become more self connected and empowered.

Like this work, she helps her clients reach a state of greater well being.

I didn't even know that Molly had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which brought her to realize she needed to change some things within her.

She learned connection with herself, and how to stop the cycle of overgiving. And now she no longer suffers with CFS.

Listen until the end, where Molly teaches a tip for emotional self connection that is so simple and easy to practice.

And if you want to find out more about Molly Claire & her coaching, check her out here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mollyclairecoaching/

Website: molly@mollyclaire.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mollyclairecoaching/

For weekly calls and community support integrating this work into your life, check out Alignment Academy:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/alignment-academy-membership

Please subscribe and share this podcast with someone who might love it!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode # 115- Shelby’s Healing Journey and Energy Hacks Jun 03, 2023

I love this interview with one of my favorite people, Shelby Hansen.

She shares her healing journey including overcoming decades of hip pain to run a pain-free triathalon.

Shelby is a coach for moms with Chronic Fatigue, and she shares with us some energy hacks that anyone can use to feel better in life.

You can find Shelby on her website https://shelbykhansen.com/

And download her top 3 Energy Tips here: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/63dc400c8e06d4dae9492ea0

For weekly calls and community support integrating this work into your life, check out Alignment Academy:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/alignment-academy-membership

Please subscribe and share this podcast with someone who might love it!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 115, Shelby's Healing Journey and Energy Hacks. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. All right, everyone, welcome. I'm so excited today to have a special guest, my friend, a fellow coach, she's been a client, all of the things, Shelby Hansen.
Welcome, Shelby.
Thanks so much for this opportunity.
I'm so happy to have you here. Every time we talk, just feels so good. You've been doing this work for a while, your story is amazing, what brought you here?
And you coach women that have chronic fatigue and have special tips about energy that I also thought might be helpful to everyone. Not even if you just have chronic fatigue, but you had a poor night's sleep or you, however it might fit in, if it's more of a freeze type of symptom, which I'm sure we will talk about later. So anyway, I just really wanted to have you on the podcast.
I'm glad you agreed to come and share with us your story and your wisdom. Absolutely. Oh, yeah.
Well, can I just start about how I found you? Oh, I would love it. So like Betsy said, we're both coaches and I was on a Facebook group and she had talked about doing this book club for The Way Out and that was back in October of 2021.
I was newly certified as a coach and I had just had, or maybe it was November. I don't know. I just had a jaw surgery in October of 2021 and the pain was not going away.
I'm not somebody that takes a lot of pain medications. So I took a pain. My pain had started to kind of subside and then it got worse a few weeks after the surgery.
And I took one of the medications and it didn't touch the pain at all. And I was like, what is going on? There's something.
I knew there was something emotional happening, but I didn't know what it was. And so I saw that you were talking about chronic pain, which I've been coaching women that experienced chronic illness and now specifically chronic fatigue for a long time. And chronic pain goes hand in hand with so many of those conditions.
And I was like, I got to find out more about this chronic pain. So I joined your book club. And during that time, I was sitting in my chair.
I was 20 pounds heavier than I've ever been. Hadn't been really working out. And you were talking about having us imagine doing an activity that would cause pain and I imagined running because since I was 14 years old, I would experience pain in my hip when I would run.
And so, but it would only happen after I had run or while I was running and I hadn't run in months and I was sitting there, closing my eyes, imagining myself running on the beach and my hip started to hurt.
In real life, I hadn't even moved at all. And I was like, what did Betsy just do?
Your brain, what did your brain just do?
Right.
I mean, yeah, it is like magical sometimes and seems really like a cool party trick, but pain is just this creation of your brain and we can reroute those neural pathways and feel different things and mess with your brain and see those things.
That's when I knew in that moment, I was like, this is neuroplastic. I'm not neuroplastic, I've never heard this term before. Whatever's going on is neuroplastic because I had been, like I said, since I was 14 years old, in cross country.
I remember the moment it happened and unlearning that is actually what helped. But I'd been to physical therapists, I've been to all of the doctors. They told me I had hip bursitis, I'd had x-rays and podiatrists, like all of the things, done the physical therapy and nothing could touch it.
Yeah. And so it wasn't like it hurt all the time, but it was related to activity. And so then that belief formed of like, oh, the activity causes it and then the life adapts around it.
Oh, I just don't run anymore. So, yeah.
Exactly. So then when you open up your Alignment Academy in February, I was like, I'm all in. So and when I did that too, I went into it with this really aligned goal that I wanted to be able to complete a triathlon that summer.
That's right. Which was a lofty goal, I would say, right? For not even like, I don't think you could even run a mile at that point without me.
No, I couldn't. I couldn't.
Yeah.
I couldn't even run a mile like just like breathing.
Yeah. And so, and this was like February, I think we started and you were like, this summer, I'm going to do a triathlon.
Yeah.
Yeah, I remember that.
Yeah, I'm going to back up just a little bit. So I had a kidney transplant when I was 30, how old was I, 34? Yeah, 34 years old.
So I went into kidney failure when I was 31 years old. And so I had previously done triathlons, but I hadn't run one since my transplant. So, and obviously like I have been diagnosed with medical PTSD.
It was a very traumatic time in my life. I had a difficult healing after the surgery. So there was just a lot going on physically for me.
And also COVID didn't help with that because being somebody that's immunocompromised and then we were also moving because my husband's active duty military, there's just a lot of things that were going on. I lost my support groups, my support system, and that was what led to a lot of that inactivity and just being really disconnected from my body and being heavier. So back, a little bit before I started working with you, I mean, for the Alignment Academy, I decided that I really wanted my focus that year to be my health and I wanted to feel healthy.
And I was looking at that vision, I'm like, what would it be like if I felt healthy? What would that look, physically look like?
Oh, I love that question. Because so many people haven't even answered that for themselves. They can't even imagine it, but they want to feel healthy, but what does that even look like?
Yeah. And so for me, I was like, I would know, like, check the box that I'm healthy if I was running triathlons like I used to. And I know I've told you this before, because as high achievers, people pleasers, like overachievers, like these people that just push, push, push, that are the ones that experience chronic pain.
It's really easy to set a lofty goal and then like body to shut down and not want to complete that goal.
Well, can I even say, like, I love how you said you were really in alignment with it, because I think if you had that goal, like, I remember hearing that goal and kind of my own brain was saying like, that's a lot, like, I don't know that she should have that kind of goal, like, that's what my brain told me.
Good thing you never said that.
I know. But you were so in alignment with it. I was like, of course, I'm going to support that, right?
Like, but if you had had a lot of fear about it, like, this is what I need to do to be healthy, and I have to achieve it. Otherwise, I'm not successful, you would have had different feelings about it. And that triathlon would have been more like a lofty goal to really show, like you said, shut yourself down, and not achieve anything, versus like for you, it was totally aligned, meaning like, good to you, right?
How would you say that?
It did, because when I made that goal, I've been developing my relationship with my body, and like listening to that intuitive part of me. And so as I saw that vision in my mind of doing a triathlon, I also stopped because I did feel a little bit of that escalation in my nervous system, in my body. And I was like, oh, like I let my brain make this decision, I didn't consult my body yet.
And so I took a moment, and I literally like, I talked to my body all the time. I'm like, body, depressing you.
I love that.
I was like, body, do you want to do this? Like, do you want to run a triathlon? And I was open to any possibility that like, whatever feeling I was going to have.
And I just felt this like pulling forward, like, yeah, that sounds fun. Let's go do it.
Yeah. In Deb Dana's book, she says like, stretch, not stress. So I think if it's like in that stretchy, like a pull forward, it wasn't in your comfort zone, but it was like calling to you versus like when you stress the system too much, too soon, that's where it causes more dysregulation and more pain.
Yeah. Well, one of my coaches, too, she says that like, rather than pushing towards your dreams, like rather have your dream and let your like be pulled by your vision.
Yes. Yes. Like, yeah, not like pushing towards it, but like inspired by it and yeah, exactly.
It's all about, you know, that energy, the emotion behind it, you know, if it's lack based, then it will be like, oh, I have to do this in order to be better and feel better versus like, oh, okay, I just want to do something that is like, what is possible for me?
Yeah, exactly. So I entered Alignment Academy with this goal and I was like, you know what? From what Betsy is saying, I really think that I could run this, like complete the triathlon.
I think I could do it pain free. And so that was my, whenever I buy coaching, because I love coaching, I always think about what is it that I, what is my end goal and like the vision part, not the pushing part. But I'm just like, yeah.
Your intent.
Yeah. This is my intention. My intention out there, so yeah.
So that was a big part of it was just like, okay, starting really, really slowly and really small to see like, what is it that my body wants, getting the feedback from my body, getting the coaching when there was times when I felt a lot of pain and I'd be like, Betsy, what's going on?
Even though you have that belief, like when you start feeling pain and you've increased your running, there's a lot of like, you know, understandable concern. And I love like, I think back then that Alignment Academy was like a small group and it was a six month program. And so you gave yourself like six months to achieve that goal.
It wasn't like, I'm going to run a triathlon by the end of this month, you know, and I have to just like, hurry and force myself. Like, you were starting from really not even being a runner at all without pain. And then, you know, having that goal or that like vision for six months.
Yeah. Yeah. And, and as I would run in different places, try different things, like it was so fascinating just, just getting the feedback from my body.
Like, okay, this being the detective for the opposite on times when it's like, I had this whole run and I felt amazing the whole time. What was different than this time when I barely could even hold it together? And recognizing with that nervous system stuff going on.
Right. Because I remember sometimes like, I think you started on a treadmill, but then like going outside, you know, there's like hills and roots and branches and there's this concern of safety and your body naturally like tightened up in certain places and you felt pain.
Yeah, I remember too, I was running through a park one time and it was so funny. I would feel pain as soon as I thought that somebody could see me running.
Oh my gosh. I was like that connection.
Yeah, because I had never made that connection. In fact, it was one of the things that really helped to heal the pain was that I was so concerned about what other people were going to think about how I looked when I ran. How slow I was, like all of that.
I was so concerned and it was totally just putting me into fight or flight while I was running.
What if someone sees me? Yeah, you might have even subconsciously like sensed someone around you and all of a sudden then you have pain. And then what's funny is like, how would you have looked with pain anyway?
Like our brain creates like our fear anyway, you know what I mean?
And then like, it was so funny because I'd feel myself go into alignment and then it stopped hurting. And then I would feel myself go out, it would start and I was just like, oh my gosh, like I just felt like, you know, with one of those cogs in the wheel that it's just like, you know, it's not well oiled and it's like, it's like going and then it stops falling off the bike. But then it gets gone, I was like, this is so weird because I am just doing the same motion and I am having a really weird experience.
Yeah. And even saying alignment, like some people might think, oh, physical alignment. Like that's how I used to think, right?
Oh, because your step was the right length and you have perfect symmetry and your hips are strong. No, it's the mental, physical, spiritual, I don't know, whatever, the alignment of your emotions and your nervous system, the regulation or dysregulation of your nervous system. When things are safe, you don't have pain, you're flowing, it's easy, it's fun.
You would tune into nature. I know you would like...
Yeah, that's what I was just going to say. Part of that was like, I thought somebody was like paying attention to how I was running while I was running and then my ankles would start to hurt and both of my hips would start to hurt and then I would envision being out in a field and when I was like a little toddler, just running through grass just for fun and then the pain would just be like... But then I would go back to freaking out about something and it was just like back and forth.
But really, like you said, being in nature, tuning into what feels really, really good, like that is what helped me to really regulate and tuning into what my body was desiring.
Yes.
She didn't want me to hold still. She didn't want me to be on the couch and not exercising because that didn't feel good either.
Yeah, that's true. Our bodies love movement, but when we're so focused on the like, okay, I've got to move in this certain way so that I don't get hurt and I have to have this strength and I have... You know, that focuses on that fear versus when you're in that flow state, that parasympathetic calm state, the ventral state, you're not even thinking about the fear and the pain and you don't have it.
You're tuning in to other things and that's such an important point of this work. It's not just decreasing the fear, but like replacing it with something that feels good and is enjoyable and you're actually feeling safe in your body.
Yeah, and I had a powerful coaching from just a peer around that time and she had said something about, she's like, well, it sounds like you beat the odds to me. And I was like, oh my gosh, I have beat the odds. And so sometimes when I was running, I would physically hit my chest and tell myself, I beat the odds.
Like it's what I do, it's who I am. And it just felt so empowering and so just strong and strength. And instead of me thinking like this, this exercise is going to make me weaker, it's going to hurt my body, which is what I used to think, like running so glad for your body, it's bad for your joints, like all of the stories that people tell us, I'm like, no, this is stronger.
Yeah, totally shifted my experience.
Yes. I love that you said that because like, I just will put in this little thing, this little story from dancing where I started doing all of these like flips of my head and you know, rolling my neck and my my neck used to tighten up when I first started doing it. And then I could just like calm myself down and I would tell myself like, this motion is good for my neck like this.
It's good to have like full motion and be able to move it freely. And now my brain doesn't even produce it anymore and I do, you know, even more head rolls and all that stuff. But when I reacted with fear, you know, I was thinking like, what just happened?
Did I just pinch the synovial sac? You know, like, just the anatomy of it, I would tighten up more and have more pain. But when I was like, it's good for my body.
And there's actually so much research now about running, being good for arthritis, being good for back pain, like all these things we used to say. Now there's research saying the opposite. So it's so sad.
So yeah, one thing I will say is that it was pretty easy for me to unhook from the physical pain of the hip because I didn't have an injury that happened. And I feel like that was like a real advantage for me because I remember, like I said, I remember when it happened. I was 14 years old.
I was on a cross country team. We were living in Hawaii. We, like I was running in the rain.
We're running up this hill that was like really challenging. I was the last one. And I really feel like, and that's when I was like, oh, yeah, my, my, my hip hurts.
And that's when it started. There was no like real reason for it to start. It's not like I broke my leg or like, you know, something fell on it.
There was no like physical damage. So when you told me like, if you're like, this is neuroplastic, how you explained it and that there like, there was no physical reason for it to start, it was really easy for me to just believe like, oh, yeah, this is just my brain.
Well, that's so fascinating, Shelby, because really like you were running at the time. So like so many people that I've coached, like not only do they tie it to like, well, I was doing an activity at the time, but they reach back as far as like a month before that. And they'll be like, well, a month before the pain started, I was riding four wheelers.
Or two weeks before it started, I had an accident where I fell off a horse and then they didn't have pain. And then it started two weeks later. So it's like so interesting that you could detach from that, even though it wasn't like you were like, I was laying in bed and my hips started hurting.
You were actually running, but we want to see that just even just like normal running is not something that just injures your body, right? It doesn't like, like you said, it wasn't like something fell on you or that you fell down and broke your bone. Like it just tightened up and there was this emotional component going on.
Yeah, because I was, I was, I was holding up the team. Like it's a team score, like, I mean, it was just a practice, but, oh yeah. And the reason why I say that too, is because then I, you know, I had had the jaw surgery and that, you know, that I've gotten quite a bit of coaching on like tongue and like jaw pain and like all of that.
And that's been a lot harder for me to unhook from because I'm like, oh yeah, that's because of the surgery.
Yes. Yeah, it's so true. And when you have that belief that there is a physical problem, your brain is more likely to produce the pain.
Exactly. But yeah, that is so interesting.
And like it's been like in the past, like the last like few months or so, like the jaw stuff has kind of been flaring up. And so what I realized was that I was really hooked in to the story of the surgery causing the pain. So it's been so much better because I decided that the sensations have nothing to do with that surgery that happened two years ago.
Right. Yes. And that is so, so amazing that you can uncouple that and realize that.
And because so many times we just are under that belief like, oh, it's not perfect anymore. You know, there's been some damage. But what we really see is that even pain free people, if you did an MRI, so many of them have like anomalies or herniated discs or torn menisci or like different kinds of things.
We have these normal abnormalities and if your surgery has been more than three to six months ago, we're assuming and because this is what we see in this field that the structures have healed to the degree that they don't need to keep causing a chronic pain and chronic pain is a different type of pain than like normal surgical healing pain.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So, in August 2021, no, 2022, it was last summer, I signed up for the Cleveland Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Triathlon. I did the mini one, like my brain is like, I need to tell you guys, it was not very long, but like, come on brain.
I know, right? Oh, it's a mini triathlon.
It's a mini sprint, like it was like the shortest one that you can do. But I didn't care because that's my brain just wanted to see me doing a triathlon. So I signed up for it.
I did the swim part, no problem, did the bike, no problem, was right by one of the Great Lakes. I think it's Lake Erie. I could be wrong, but I think that's what it is.
Did the running and I was coming up around the bend and like feeling good. And as I was coming around and starting to go down this hill where I could see Lake Erie and see the beach area, legs started to seize up. I started to feel pain shooting up the sides of my ankles.
I don't think my hip was hurting at all. But I was just feeling really sharp. And I was just like, you know what?
In my brain, I wanted the pain to go away so bad because I just really, really wanted to do this with no pain. Right? And so it was making, because I was in resistance, it was making it even worse in the moment.
And so once I realized that, I was like, you know what? I just don't care if I feel pain while I do this. I just don't care.
And I told myself that this thought was so empowering for me in that moment. I said, I'm just willing to feel it all.
The pain went away right when you had that change of heart and that release of the resistance.
I didn't realize how hard I was resisting. And I was like, I'm just willing to feel it all. And my body was like, that's what I was waiting for.
Oh, this is so interesting. I mean, we just see this over and over and over and over, right? I'm sure you see it with every one of your clients.
And we see it in ourselves that the more we're resisting it, it builds, it holds on it, like, you know, festers or gets worse or what you think about you, you create more of. So the more we're in resistance to pain, the more pain we have to be resistant to.
Yeah. So, like I said, I just I sing Betsy's praises, I it's been so incredible working with her and just finding out that my body has such a bigger capacity to heal and to like how I feel in my body. I didn't know that was possible.
I thought that like this is just where I'm at and this is how I'm going to feel for the rest of my life. And I didn't realize that that was not true.
You probably had even been told like, well, you've had a kidney transplant in your thirties and that's so rare. We don't even know what it's going to be like, but you're probably going to have a lot of, you know, feelings of fatigue and not being able to do my, I don't know what you've been told, but it would be very understandable to just be like, yeah, this is my lot in life based on what I've been through.
Well, and you look at the medications that I'm on for life, like I'm on prednisone for the rest of my life. You know, heavy duty immunosuppressants. So I've been told all sorts of things, like scary things, and they're like, this thing, this thing.
I don't even say them out loud anymore though, because I'm just like, that doesn't help me. Because all it does is create fear. And so I am constantly on the look, detective for the opposite, for other people that have experienced similar things to me that are not these worst case scenarios that people warn me about.
Yes. Yes. I love that you mentioned detective for the opposite, one of the best tools, not only for pain, but literally any kind of limiting belief.
I've done that with, you know, I'm not a great mom. And then you look at the examples of how you are great in some moments, right? Like detective for the opposite, you can almost always, it's like an Amazon review.
I was thinking like, sometimes there's like a million five star reviews and there's one person that's like, I hated it. It didn't work for me at all. So you could be the opposite though of that, that's like more of a negative one.
But it's like, you can always find something, right? Like that's opposite of your belief. And if your belief is something about pain and like I have pain with sitting or with running or, you know, finding detective for the opposite moments is one of my favorite things to do to just rewire those neural circuits so much faster.
Yeah, I totally agree. So and then the other thing that you helped me with so much too was understanding my freeze response because that was my go to.
Oh my gosh. Let's talk about that. Because I think people identify with fight or flight a lot.
Like do you think that's like probably true with we hear about that more. We know what fight looks like. We know what flight looks like somewhat or, you know, we get it when we hear about it.
But freeze, I didn't realize about it either until like a few years.
Well, and that's what I that was the fatigue that I was experiencing because here I was, you know, like I said, had kidney failure and had debilitating fatigue and nausea because parts of my body were not clearing the toxins that they're meant to. And so my my blood was becoming toxic. And so having the kidney transplant that that remediated that problem.
And so, you know, you would think, OK, awesome. So she's not going to feel fatigue or nausea anymore because she has a working kidney. But that didn't happen for me.
I continue to feel that fatigue and nausea, even though I have a new organ that's helping. And so I was like, what is going on with this? And so just like the pain and healing that chronic neuroplastic pain, I applied those principles to the fatigue and nausea like you taught me to.
Yes. So that is so important, right? It's not just chronic pain, like, oh, my muscles hurt or a nerve pain.
It can be, I mean, of course, nausea, like the digestive issues are so affected by the nervous system, right? They're the first to shut off. If you're being chased by a tiger, you're not going to be digesting your food.
And then the fatigue, though, is such an interesting one because so many people just believe fatigue has to do with how much you sleep and what you put into your body, right? Like what you eat or don't eat and how much you sleep.
Yeah. And it's been so fascinating because I would feel this just like drain of energy, just like sucked of energy and just like couldn't do anything else. And I was like, oh, that's the fatigue.
And then I would talk to you about it and you'd be like, that's freeze.
Like, this is just like, this is what fatigue is. Yeah.
I mean, yeah, exactly. Cause we're kind of just trained to think like, oh, just something's hemically, physically wrong with me.
Yeah, exactly. And so, and again, like I would think, oh, it's like you said, it's something that I ate. Like I ate the wrong thing.
And I feel so terrible in my body and I'm so tired. I'm so sluggish. I just like, I can't do anything.
It was just very all or nothing thinking is what the freeze was, because I had exhausted all of my fight or flight frenzied. And then when I just felt so hopeless that whatever I was doing wasn't going to be fixed, then my body just went into this hopeless state and just all of the energy reserves are just gone.
Yes, because it's not just fatigue. There are emotions that go along with freeze. Do you want to talk about those for you?
Yeah, I mean, definitely, it's like the hopeless and the despair. Even disappointment can really bring that freeze.
And shame is a big one that we see.
I'm sorry. Yes.
Yeah. Who could forget that? But it's so insidious.
We're just like, oh, but this is true. It just feels true that we're bad at life. I always tell the example with freeze of I was getting coached, and I was saying how everything was bad.
I'm a bad mom, bad coach. Everything's going horribly. And I had 10 people in my yoga class, but I was still like, which is a good number for me.
And then I was still like, but I play the same music every time. I bet they hate that. So that just encapsulates freeze for me where it's like, you see everything as just kind of bad and tinged with despair and hopelessness.
And it just feels true. It feels so true.
And there was just so much. Oh gosh. I wish I could remember the person that said this.
And I think I've talked to you about it before, but they were saying that a regulated nervous system is not feeling calm. It's feeling at choice.
I love that.
When I was in the freeze, and I mean, it still happens sometimes just not nearly to the frequency that it did. I just felt like every single choice was taken away. The only choice that was there was to do nothing.
Yeah. And so many people who lived in a lot of fight or flight, especially the flight, they can kind of combine that freeze with flight. And so then you're like despairing and hopeless.
And then you're like, but if I could just get up every morning at five and do the 10 hour, not a 10 hour, the morning routine that I used to do in my 20s before I had kit, they're like, then we just put all this pressure on ourselves and then we feel hopeless again. And it's this sometimes can feel like opposing forces, not just fatigue, but this like antsy energy to do stuff. But then also this fatigue of like, I just can't actually get off the couch and do anything.
But then I feel really bad about it.
And actually, like one of the things that I have my clients do, especially if they experience a freeze response or they're feeling that fatigue, because they're not feeling safe in their bodies and they don't realize that's why they're feeling the freeze.
Yes.
I'll have them when they are in a regulated state, make two lists, like a list of the comfort list of things that bring them comfort so that they don't have to think about it in the moment.
So smart. Yes.
And then also a list of the things that they just enjoy. Oh, I love that.
Yeah.
It's like, because, like I said, they just feel like there's you're not at choice in that moment. And so when you've already made those decisions ahead of time, like, yes, like go do the things that's whatever is going to bring you comfort. I know I talked to you so much about like me.
My comfort is go lay down on the couch with my fuzzy blanket and watch some Netflix and sometimes have a bowl of goldfish.
Yes, I love that example because sometimes people are like, what's the like Wim Hof breathing method I need to do to calm my nervous system? I'm like, your body knows like, it's like your inner child knows to like curl up with a teddy bear or whatever, like do that kind of thing. What's called, I love that it's a bowl of goldfish too, because it even sounds very like a toddler, you know.
I didn't eat goldfish for like 20 years, like I don't even know like who I am, but as I was doing it, once I recognized that I was doing it deliberately, I would just like each goldfish that I would eat, I would be like, I'm safe. In this moment, yes, no danger. There's no tiger.
There's no lion and not shaming myself for being in a freeze response. Yes, yes, yes, yes, just narrating, narrating what's happening, like I'm eating a goldfish. Yeah, I'm scrolling on Instagram, like I tell myself, because, you know, we're like, we always want to get to present moment.
Like the easiest way to do that is to just say what's happening to yourself.
I love that. Yeah, because then you're doing it purposely. It's not like you're eating, you know, a whole bag of cookies all at once.
If you're eating one bite at a time, telling yourself you're safe, you know, chances are you'll eat just the right amount. Because I think you've even said with your like being able to eat different foods and I think even losing weight, like it's not like you're just turning to these self-soothing activities at your own body's expense. Like when you regulate, you are allowed to have some of those fun things and pleasures in your life and your body's actually healthier than when you're restrictive and not allowing them.
Exactly. Because, you know, I had told you I've been on every like every single elimination diet, like because they told me that a big part of my kidney disease was that I had inflammation in my kidneys and they could never figure out why. I'm like, interesting, interesting.
Yeah, maybe from from all the stress.
I mean, I also have a genetic predisposition to have a genetic disorder as well. But, but anyway, had been through all of those diets. And when you were like, yeah, the food doesn't cause the digestive distress, like distress.
I was like, what? I gotta go try that.
Yeah.
And now I do not eat a restrictive diet at all. There is nothing that's off limits for me, other than if I just don't feel like eating it. It's a relationship with body.
It's just like, do you actually want this right now? Yes, I do. And sometimes I don't.
Yes. And again, it's like you have choices that way. Back to choice.
Like I haven't heard it phrased that way. I would say like the opposite of that, you know, dysregulation is that safe feeling. But like the choice, when you have more choices in life of what you can do, where you can go, how you can move your body, how you can eat, then you have that fuller, richer life.
But when you have been told you can't eat these foods, and then you've experienced pain with movements, so then you decide you can't do those movements. Like, I mean, of course, it's natural. I'm not trying to say we're deciding it, but like, you know, we want to eliminate those things that are going to, quote unquote, cause us pain, not realizing that, you know, that's not even the source of the pain.
And since I have worked with you, I'm like, I have lost those 20 pounds and kept them off since November 21.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you weren't like dieting and...
No, I was eating goldfish.
Yeah, exactly. I love that.
Not that I was eating goldfish every single day, but like when my body's like, hey, like you've overextended yourself, you didn't pay attention to me. You didn't listen when I was whispering. Now I'm screaming.
Better listen. And that's when I started to. So that's a lot of what I, you know, what I've learned for myself, what I teach is like, let's listen to the whispers before they become screams.
Yes.
Yes. I'm curious if you experienced this, because I definitely did. And I know a lot of my clients have, when we're starting to learn to self care, come out of freeze, to do these kinds of things that are in this loving way, starting to worry that like, oh man, am I just like, creating all of this so I can lay on the couch and eat goldfish?
And is this going to start to be my new life? And did you experience that?
And you're like, no, you're going to regulate, you're going to, your body's going to play some like, okay, I'm just going to trust her because that does not feel like it's going to happen. And I trusted you because that is the truth. Like, we're wired to contribute, we're wired to be creative.
We're not wired to just not do anything. Like, it doesn't feel physically good.
It's true. Like people who are always like, oh, I could just, you know, I just really have a problem with sleeping too much. And if I allow myself to sleep, then I'll just like, and I'm like, haven't you ever experienced a time where you actually want to get out of bed?
And everyone has, you know, you're, you've been in bed too long and you're like, it doesn't feel good to just stay in bed all the time. It does when you're in a freeze response or when you're dysregulated. But once you start regulating that, like you said, we, that is where we have that capacity to connect, to learn, to grow, to evolve, to help other people.
But when we're doing it from freeze or from a depleted place, you know, that's when we end up getting sicker and sicker.
Well, and I think that it was such a shift for me, like going back to just narrating when I was in a freeze response, because what I had been doing for years was beating myself up that I couldn't do anything. So it's just this chain cycle that was just like pile and compound and compound and compound. And so then I'm like, I haven't been doing anything.
Why don't I have energy? I should have energy because I didn't do anything, but there's a good way to rest and there's a crappy way to rest. And beating yourself up while you're resting is not, it's counterintuitive.
It's not productive.
That is so true. I'm glad you said that because so many people are like, oh no, I'm good at watching Netflix. I could do that for eight hours.
And but then they're beating themselves up the whole time and shaming themselves. And so that's really not rest at all.
Yeah, it's not. And really at the beginning, when I realized how often I was going into freeze and like that's what was happening to my body. I like, I had one client one time, she's like, well, what do you do?
Like when, when you're like, you need to sleep and you need to nap. I'm like, I did what Betsy taught me. I nap.
At the beginning, there was a lot of resting because there was so much that I quote, unquote had to catch up on because I had just neglected that part of me for so long. So, and because I made that investment in that current place of where I was at, I very rarely need to do that anymore. If I did, I would, but it's, it's, I, you know, yeah, I live a life, like it's living in a place where I'm like, oh, I'm going to do that.
I'm going to live a vibrant life because I'm able to live a vibrant life now. I think there's so much of this black and white thinking. And I got coaching one time where the lady was like, you know, there's more colors in the crayon box than black and white.
Yeah.
That's what happens when we're in an escalated nervous system state where like, there's only this way or this way. And so when I realized like, there's all of these emotions that I can choose, there's all of these different paths. Like, that's when the vibrancy and the color came back to my life.
Oh, my gosh. And it's back to choices again. I love it.
Right?
When we're like in that survival mindset, we're like, is it right or is it wrong? Is it black or white? And then when we have more choices, we're able to live that full vibrant life.
I love it. So for people who are struggling with energy, struggling with fatigue, maybe even I think it's really common that in earlier parts of our lives, we've been that fight or flight type of person. And then maybe it's when we have kids or in our 30s or 40s or not that it's age related, but more stress related because of the things that happen in those decades.
Then we go into freeze and then we're like, why do I have this brain fog? Why do I have this constipation and GI issues and all of the things that can come with freeze, including fatigue? What are your, I don't know, if you have some favorite tips or advice for people?
I think my favorite thing is just to be aware of what's going on in your body and not making yourself wrong for what's happening. Just really be experiencing it and like finding resources, finding resources, like what Betsy says, what I'm taught, like what I teach about too. And just learning about how you personally, it works for you to regulate your own nervous system, because there are so many choices in what you can do.
And it's just not thinking that there's a one size fits all. And if I just do this path, then I'm going to get out of this rut. Really getting to have an actual relationship with your own body.
People with chronic illness from what I've seen and from what I've experienced, we're just so disconnected from our bodies. And just take them for granted. We're like, brain, you just tell us everything to do.
We'll keep doing that until we can't do it anymore. It's taking that step back and really getting to know yourself really well. It's like, what do I even like?
What do I even want to create? What do I want the future to look like? Because chances are your brain is so focused on what has happened and what hasn't happened for you in the past.
That's what it's just trying to avoid creating what's already happened. Instead of being like, oh, I could create a new even better future.
Yes, and that just sounds so much like regulating that nervous system to me, right? You're in those fierce states of like, you know, the past and not letting those things happen again and wanting this sense of control and not, you know, and then when you're more in that safe ventral state, that's when you start to feel more energy. You have this bigger capacity to not get so dysregulated with all of the little things in life, so you can tolerate more, your window of tolerance grows, and that takes less energy because being in survival states takes energy, right?
Right? Yeah, so my energy, I'm just going to live in this.
Yes. Yeah. So even the way the body like shuts down during freeze to reserve energy, it's just like going into this like low heart rate, like stasis, kind of like preparing for death kind of state, and it's using more energy to do that than when we're regulated.
Yeah, exactly. And, you know, a couple of the modules that I take my clients through, like one of the first ones I do is rhythms and routines because we get so rigid in thinking this is how life should be. And if I don't have this exact thing happen, this exact way, the controlling part, Yes.
everything's going to go to pieces. And so instead, like, I talk more about like, okay, this is like an overall rhythm that's happening in your life. And you can just gently return to that rhythm when it feels good because sometimes life's going to happen.
So rather than beating yourself up and just seeing, okay, this is the overall picture and having trust and faith that all of the pieces are going to work out.
Yeah.
So I'm like, I always go back to like laundry, but I'm like, laundry is a rhythm. Okay, guys.
Right.
Mom, so you got chronic fatigue. It's like, oh, the laundry is never going to get done. But like if you put in tight, like these little systems that are easy to return to, then you don't have to get dysregulated because we weren't able to do the laundry how we want it to this week.
Like you can just return to gentle.
I love that because it's not even like the laundry, if it's done or not, that's a problem. It's how we're thinking about it, what we're making it mean about us, even the thought, it's never done, has that trapped feeling versus like, I have little bits of time during the day that I do it, and it feels so good to just get those, get the socks put away or whatever. I don't know how you suggest.
I just make my kids do all of their own since they were like five years old.
Yes. No, exactly. So many times we are low on energy because we're doing all these things for other people that we could actually enable them to be more self-sufficient and it could take a load off of our plate.
And you work primarily with moms, I think. So I'm sure you really see that because we're really trained to fill those roles and help everyone and give it our own expense. And it not only benefits you but everyone around you when you start to release some of those responsibilities you've been clasping on to.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
So good. Well, I love that you're doing this work, especially with energy levels, because that is just something that almost everyone talks to me about. And I've really thought at times in my life, I'm like, I think something is just wrong with me.
Because I had the belief I was just supposed to be happy all the time and have energy all the time. So just even being aware of how much the nervous system contributes to feelings of fatigue or brain fog or focus or memory or all of these things is just, you know, it's so helpful for people to know. So they don't think that something's just going wrong with them or, you know, this is just a result of aging or it's just perimenopause.
I guess I'll have this for 10 years and then whatever other symptoms, menopause, brain, you know, just, I love you're doing this work.
And I just, I think to myself, I'm like, if I could just teach or, or people could learn it from wherever, you know, I'm like, if I could just teach these women how to process emotions and sensations in their body with safety and how to regulate their nervous systems and how to, for them to figure out how to regulate their nervous systems in ways that work for them.
Yeah.
They would have all of the energy they could ever want.
Oh my gosh. I love that. Can you just say that one more time?
Because that I think is so important because it's again, yeah, it's more about like those two things, the processing emotion. Because when you say like tune into your body and get to know it, like maybe people are still like, I don't know what that means. Like, how do I just develop a relationship with myself?
But how you broke it down there?
It's really the two main things that I think about is learning how to process your emotions and your sensations in your body with safety.
Yes. Which is what we do in this pain reprocessing and it's for emotions too.
Exactly. Yeah. And then learning how your specific nervous system works, how to heal pieces of it, and how to bring just more of that aligned, calm, focused, energized state.
Yes.
And then you can do amazing things with all of the energy you need because you don't have all of the resistance. Because it's not about how many things you do, it's about all of those beliefs surrounding everything in your emotions and past traumas and things like that. That's your energy.
And you can borrow this thought if it helps you, my friends, but my thought is that I always have more than enough energy. Sometimes I'm using it a little inefficiently, but it doesn't mean that it's not there.
Oh, I love that. Okay. That just reminded me actually, because you have had some really good thoughts that have helped you.
I have one of them just written on a post-it note here. But if you don't mind sharing some of your favorite thoughts that have gotten you through, I think you've already mentioned one earlier. It was the, I beat the odds.
I beat the odds. Yes. So empowering.
And that might not resonate with anyone else that hasn't had a kidney transplant or whatever, or doesn't feel like they're at that point in their life. But any others that you remember?
It's so funny because while I was doing this work, I had posted after posted after posted of thoughts that I was incorporating. And as I incorporated them into my psyche, my subconscious, I've actually just taken them and thrown them away because I'm like, they're a part of me now.
Yeah. You have to remind yourself. I love that.
But I'll give you some. Like one of them that I that I still have up is that I'm saying no to perfectionism, so I can make space for something even better.
I love that.
And a question that I'm asking myself right now is, what is the influence I consciously want to create in my environment? Wow.
Instead of being reactive, that's like a way to have that intent about what you want.
And if you can see the video, I have this this little quote behind me. It says the world needs who you were made to be. I believe that about every single person.
And I've got another one. There's two more back there. One of them says she believes she could, so she did.
I just read that over and over again while I was on my treadmill. The last one is the magic is already inside of you. You don't need more of it.
You just need to remember it.
I love that. I love that. Yeah, I love that you have that like about magic.
And that's another reason we especially get along. And the one that I have from you, I don't know if you even remember, I have this from you, but it was, I'm the best me. Oh yeah.
That was a good one. That was a really healing thought.
Cause like we get into this compare and despair, or we compare ourselves to how we used to be, or, you know, we're just in freeze when we're doing that. But even just like, okay, I'm the best me. And sometimes that's freeze.
Sometimes the best me is like healing old trauma responses. And that's just the part of life I'm in and building my nervous system capacity, but I'm the best me. I love that.
Oh, I'm glad. I'm glad that helped.
Yeah. Well, it has been such a pleasure talking to you. I will link up any of your resources that you want to share.
And like I said, I've just cherished doing this work with you, seeing your progress and that you're now like have this special niche for especially moms with chronic fatigue. Because if it's treatable, and there are some ways that we can like help ourselves and have, you know, more capacity to help our kids. So good to know that.
Thank you so much. Yeah, I'll say to like when I when I was deciding, like who I was that I wanted to serve, I was like in a room full of amazing women and just like this energy was just palpable. And I was writing down.
I was like, who is it? Like, what is it? What do I do?
And I was just like wrote down moms with chronic fatigue, like before I even like could even it was pen to paper before it hit my brain. Wow. I just felt like full body chills and I was like, okay, that's who we're helping.
That's what we're doing. So I feel very blessed and very called to be able to serve that. And I just have to say, if you are listening to the podcast and you are on the fence about working with Betsy, get off the fence.
You will see so many results. Like there's just still things that I am getting results from. And I'm in her group program.
I'm like, I will always have Betsy in my life. Now it's a membership. Yeah, just so many amazing ahas and just incredible breakthroughs from things that she's taught me.
So thank you so much. Yeah, I love having you in that group. And it's nice just to know that you can always ask a question when you need.
But, you know, if you don't have to show up to every call or whatever, you're at this place where it's just kind of this maintenance. But as we go through life, you know, we always have some things that just regulate our nervous system if we're growing and expanding.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Thank you so much, Betsy.
All right. Thank you so much. Take care and we'll be in touch soon.
All right. Thanks, everyone, for joining. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Episode # 114- Personality Traits and Chronic Pain May 05, 2023

Did you know your personality traits are a predictor for whether you will have chronic pain or mindbody symptoms?
Traits like perfectionism, people pleasing, and wanting to be liked keep the nervous system in dysregulated states and wreak havoc on the body.

For me, my personality traits were the biggest thing keeping me dysregulated and in a state of dis-ease before I found this work.

Listen to find out more!

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 114, Personality Traits and Chronic Pain. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. Hello, my loves. Today, I wanted to talk to you about common personality traits that are associated with chronic pain.
Now, this is definitely something that I was not taught in physical therapy school. My knowledge of chronic pain was basically you just treat all pain the same way. As if it's damage in the body and you try to perfect the body and prevent further damage.
And when I say chronic pain, it could be, you know, a bad back that flares up every few times a year, or it could be other symptoms like irritable bowel syndrome is a common one, digestive issues like reflux, issues like migraines and fibromyalgia, as well as things like brain fog or tinnitus or fatigue, those can all be signs of neuroplastic symptoms, basically mind-body symptoms, meaning that the thoughts, the emotions, the nervous system, are the things that are giving the brain the information to produce pain, rather than that it's an injury that needs to be taken care of medically. So most people that are coming to this work have already tried the medical procedures. Their pain has lasted longer than three to six months, and it's resistant to medical care.
So that is kind of how we describe chronic pain. And what we find is that there are some common personality traits that we see with people who tend to have symptoms display in their bodies. These personality traits are things like perfectionism, people pleasing, wanting to be seen as good, wanting people to like you, a strong sense of duty.
They're often things that are not bad in themselves. They're actually usually very nice people, kind people, empathetic people that end up having chronic pain or mind-body type symptoms. As children, we develop these survival states and did not have any tools to know how to regulate.
And so over lifetimes, patterns can form of giving of yourself at your own expense, making sure everyone is happy before you can feel happy, or never letting yourself rest when you have achievements and you've achieved them, still criticizing yourself, thinking you should have done it faster or with less help, or as soon as you achieve something, you're on to the next thing because it's not fulfilling for you. For me, I think the personality traits were the biggest thing keeping me dysregulated, because I had a pretty great childhood, caring parents, attentive parents, and no big T traumas. But I developed this sense of trying to be very good.
I was raised in a religious setting, so wanting to be good, wanting to not make mistakes, worried that if I made mistakes, it would have eternal consequences. I was very scared. It promoted a lot of fear in my young developing nervous system around getting things wrong, about what other people thought of me.
And so that kept me dysregulated. When I got married and had kids and was a working mom, I felt like I was never doing enough. I couldn't be good enough by the fact that I was working and a mom and just continually being a very harsh critic on myself, pushing myself to do more, and really not knowing how to do any kind of self-care and starting to feel guilty if I did take time for myself.
So it was a real recipe for disaster, and no wonder that my digestive system was not doing well because when you're in these survival states, your digestive system shuts down, right? It's not as important to digest your food as it is to run away from a tiger. But in my case, there was no tiger chasing me.
Many of the things in the environment were actually safe for me, but I kept myself in a dysregulated state all of the time because of these personality traits, these survival states that I had used to cope and did not know any differently and did not have any tools to regulate myself out of. Dr. Schubiner describes internal pressures. Internal pressures meaning the pressures that we put on ourselves that keep us in these fierce states and in states where we're more likely to produce that neuroplastic pain.
He says people who are at higher risk for having mind-body syndrome are people who put more pressure on themselves, who are more self-critical, self-blaming, who feel more obligations and have a strong sense of duty. They worry excessively, take responsibility for external problems, they're overly conscientious and caring about others, and especially to the exclusion of doing things for themselves. So I checked every box on there for myself.
That's exactly the way I was living my life. It was actually well-meaning and well-intended. I wanted to be a good person.
I wanted to be there for everyone. I wanted everyone to like me, but by setting myself up for these unrealistic standards, I was actually really harming my own body and creating a state of dis-ease constantly. I like to remember that these personality traits developed as protective survival responses.
Sometimes you'll hear them called trauma responses. When you look at these personality traits of chronic pain, you can see them in the survival states. So this is what I mean.
The kind of person who might tend to go more towards fight and have chronic pain would be the kind of person who would be angry or frustrated with themselves, critical of themselves, also tending to find imperfections in others, feeling like a victim, and blaming. So this is actually a survival state, and this is what your nervous system has developed as you were growing up, as your nervous system was developing. So as you were growing up as a child, this was not a conscious decision.
The autonomic nervous system happens automatically. It's below our conscious control. So our response to an unsafe situation as a child could have been to go into fight.
Now, for someone who tends to go into flight, that response is this perfectionistic response. Like, if I could just do things better, if I could do things perfectly, then I'd be safe. Then people would like me.
If I could figure out all of the problems and fix them, if I could work a little harder, if I could push a little more, it's this frenetic energy of doing things and doing them at your own expense. That's the energy of flight. I have to keep doing more so that I can be safe.
With freeze, you tend to go into more isolation, thinking that if I can hide, I'll be safe. This is where shame lives. So people who are overly critical of themselves are often in shame, thinking something is actually wrong with them.
And fawn is a survival state that I guess I didn't even really realize that I've been living in probably most of my life. Fawn is a people-pleasing state where you would feel safe if people like you. So I would rather shut down part of myself than show up as myself and risk being disliked.
And so I was always gauging myself based on other people's opinions of me, external circumstances. It made it very hard for me to make decisions. I would always want to ask a lot of different people and get a lot of different responses, so it was confusing.
And in fawn, you tend to be more empathetic. You can read the room. You come in and you can just feel what other people are feeling, and you can imagine how it is for them.
And you're, again, so into other people's emotions and managing their emotions for them that you're forgetting about your own self. And people pleasing for me just became so innate because I was always looking for external information to know if I was doing the right thing or not. Again, our nervous system is just always on the lookout for danger.
And if we've had some events in our childhood that we don't want to repeat, our brain is actually on the lookout for anything that resembles something like that. So we can be on guard and looking for danger all of the time. And when the nervous system senses danger or threat, it doesn't mean that there's a real threat, but the nervous system senses that there's a threat, it will decide to put us into a survival state and these old familiar patterns, these old personality traits that cause us to disconnect from ourselves, to live in the future or the past, and to be in this frightened, fearful state that when we're in it long term, it does affect all of the systems in the body, the heart rate, the blood pressure, the breathing rate, the blood sugar, the fat storage, your immunity, your inflammation, your water-sodium balance, all of these things are managed by the autonomic nervous system.
It's automatic, but this is just for survival mode. This is to get us to survive, but not necessarily to thrive. For me, unlearning these personality traits was the biggest part of my healing.
And I had to build the tolerance in my nervous system to feel safe showing up as me, not asking for advice, taking time for self-care, and placing emphasis on how I felt over how other people feel. There were times, and there are still times, that it's very scary. And so be so compassionate with yourself.
If you are noticing some of these personality traits and you want to get rid of them because you don't like them, just please know that the first step is understanding them, accepting them, really seeing what this protective response has been and why you developed it and that this makes sense and that your brain and your nervous system is just trying to protect you. And we want to teach it that it is safe. We don't want these primitive responses in the driver's seat of the car driving us, the nervous systems coming along for the ride, but we want these primitive responses to be in the passenger seat or in the back seat.
And when you learn the tools to regulate your nervous system, then if you do go into these survival states, you know how to process through them, you know how to move through them and get back to regulation with most ease, rather than what we typically do, which is fight and resist, which actually makes our symptoms worse. If you identify with these personality traits, and if you have been doing this work and want a little extra help, or if you want a community of people who know what you are going through and are going through similar things, check out Alignment Academy in the show notes. And for more information, check out my website, bodyandmindlifecoach.com.
All right, you guys, have a great week. Bye. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #113- How Skiing Helped My Back Pain Apr 04, 2023

In this episode I tell you a real life story of my back pain and a flare I had this weekend.

Since chronic pain has more to do with fear and nervous system dysregulation, I decided skiing sounded like a nice thing to do when my back pain was uncomfortable.

Listen for how this counterintuitive approach helped me through the pain with less resistance and more curiosity.

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 113, How Skiing Helped My Back Pain. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become unstoppable body and mind.
Hello, my loves. Today, I want to talk about what happened over this weekend. So there was some back pain involved and the way I handled it.
The history of the back pain is that probably 15 years ago or so, I was snowboarding and went off a jump and landed weird and hurt my back. And ever since then, maybe one or two times a year, I have some back pain. And usually it lasts for a few days.
As a physical therapist, I always attributed it to like my SI joint and probably the lowest facet joints. And it feels like, you know, it gets kind of stuck and immobilized. And then the muscles around it get tight.
And anyway, so there's this logical answer that I had for what was going on, and I would always attribute it to something physical that I had been doing. So obviously, with this work over the last few years, I've really changed my perspective and I look at things completely differently. So I actually had some back pain that I recorded a podcast about, and I checked on that, and it was just about a year ago.
It was in May of 2022 that I recorded that episode about my acute back pain. It's just like once or twice a year, but not in any predictable way. And this time, I was just very curious, and here's what happened.
I started feeling uncomfortable in my back when I was dancing on Saturday night. So I had gone to this dance, and it was at a trampoline place, so I'd done some jumping on the trampoline, I'd done some dancing. But at this point, when my back started hurting, I could still dance.
I didn't really think anything was physically wrong. I didn't think there was damage, I didn't have fear. I was able to lean into this curiosity and identify several things that were less than perfect in my mind.
I look for the emotional things that could be going on, the stress level in my life, and especially this type of pain, where these neural pathways are very formed and developed. And the way I see it is probably it's like a trauma response in that area of the body or a survival response, telling that specific area to tighten up certain muscles, and then that creates the immobility and the asymmetry and the pain and the SI joint stuff. So anyway, that's kind of my physical therapist mind.
If you didn't get that, it doesn't matter. But instead of thinking of it as a physical thing causing the physical pain, thinking of it as the emotions and the nervous system being dysregulated and stress causing the body to actually, yes, tighten up in certain areas. And so when you feel the muscle, it is actually tight.
But instead of attributing the source of the pain to damage and then having a fearful response that amplifies the pain, I was able to look around at what was going on. And there was something, there was not to get into too many details, but just like some simple things about comparing myself with dancing and a guy that I was interested in, not giving me a lot of attention that I wanted. So and then some bigger things going on just in my life and with family and business.
And anyway, it was very easy for me to see that it made sense that my back started seizing up in this predictable pattern. I also want to mention, and I'm not an expert on this yet, and I do want to study more about it, but there's a lot coming out with fascia right now. That fascia, which surrounds all of the muscles and nerves and joints and connects everything in the body, we used to just think it was kind of a sheath and because they would study cadavers and it would just be like this dry outer covering.
But now they know that this actually transmits neural information. So messages from the brain can be transmitted into the body, not through actual nerve pathways, but through the fascia. And that could account for some of these predictable tightenings, like I said, in a certain pattern, like with my lower back or with someone else, it might be their hip or their neck or their shoulder when they have stress, right?
Sometimes people do really worry though that they've injured themselves and thinking of this pain as an actual injury and like wear and tear and maybe I've torn something or it's herniated. Here's what I have to say about that. What we know is that when they started studying pain-free people, that the majority of pain-free people, especially if you're over age 40, they do have damage and wear and tear in their body.
So they have herniated discs and they have stenosis and they have rotator cuff tears and meniscus tears. And the amount of arthritis that you can see on an X-ray or MRI will not predict the amount of pain that someone will have. So when there is wear and tear on our bodies, it's not necessarily painful if pain-free people also have that same amount of wear and tear.
There was one study that I found that they studied young athletes, so people who are young and athletic, so they're performing well, they're pain-free, and 89% of them had a hip labral tear. So we might not even know when things in our body are getting damaged. And when we find that hip labral tear, when they're in their 40s or 50s, they could think they just did it when it actually happened when they were a young athlete.
So I know it's kind of mind-bending, and it's different to think of things this way. But if I ever start to worry about the pain indicating that something just got damaged, I really just question that, because there is so much research showing that these structural changes are normal and do not cause pain in everyone. So we cannot blame chronic pain on structural changes that are normal, just like wrinkles and gray hairs as we get older, we have degenerative changes inside of our body that do not cause chronic pain.
But anyway, I was able to stay and dance as long as I wanted to, and then went home at night. I was having problems when I would roll over, and it would just tighten up and spasm and seize. I describe it as kind of like grabby.
So my back was kind of like, I would go to move, and the muscles would just grab and spasm. So I did notice that during the night. And in the morning, I usually go to...
This was the weekend, so it was Sunday morning, and I usually go to a dance class on Sunday mornings that I really like. And I also sometimes like to go skiing. It's near the end of the season.
And so what I chose to do is just listen to my body, and the dance class sounded like a little much. There's a lot of like, you know, moving and body rolls, and that sounded like a little scary for my back. And again, I'm trying not to lean into fear here, but at the same time, I was really just asking my body what sounded good.
And it did sound good to be more active than to lay around. And skiing actually sounded really good to me. So what I did, and this is just, you know, I was a physical therapist.
This is my bias. Maybe it's a placebo effect. I don't care.
I love it. It works for me. But I did some kinesio tape on my back.
So KT tape or kinesio tape, kinesiology tape. It basically is like a moving brace that is, uh, that supports your muscles wherever you're putting it on your back or other body parts. You can put it on specific ways.
The way I put it on was like for lower back SI joint. And I just think of that as like supporting my muscles. So although I know that this is my body, and I'm not worried about damage, and I'm not in that fearful state of like, you know, I've done something bad and how long is this going to last?
I have the belief that this is, you know, at most going to just last a few days, and I'm just going to do what sounds really good to help it right now. So I taped it, and that decreased my pain immediately by like 50%. And I have that expectation from tape, because that's how I always used to describe it, is when you have, you know, kind of those spasmi, graspy muscles, grabby muscles, or whatever these, I'm just making up words, I guess.
But when you have these, you know, you go to move and the muscle like clenches and gets really painful and sore, when I have the tape on, it feels like it supports the muscle. So I taped, I decided to go skiing. And again, I just want to point out that to someone else, skiing might sound very scary, even without sensations in their back.
That might sound super scary to someone, but I've been skiing for years, decades. So for me, it sounded relaxing to get up in the mountains and to enjoy the movement and exhilaration and the distraction really of going skiing. So I went ahead, went skiing, and throughout this process, I was really noticing detective for the opposite moments or times that my back did feel better.
If there were any times that I would get up to go walk and it wouldn't catch as much, I would try to notice like, oh, okay, this feels better. So I was cognizant of what was going on with my back, but I also wasn't urgent or fearful or monitoring it in a really judgmental way. So I started noticing with the very first run that it seemed to, like I was engaging the muscles in my body, and it was almost like that area wasn't as much of a presence.
I wasn't focusing on it. It was less painful as I started just moving my body and engaging in this, you know, flowy motion of skiing. And I ski at my favorite resorts that I grew up skiing at, and it's just like home for me.
You know, I just, I love that whole experience of being there. So I just was really trying to be in the present moment, and I noticed after the first run, it felt like my pain had decreased another 50%. So I went ahead and went up on the lift, did a second run.
And then I noticed, okay, I'm trying not to get too graphic here, but I think it is important to tell this part. So I think that because when my nervous system goes into these survival states, for me, especially digestion can be an issue. So if I'm going into freeze, it's more of the like gassy feeling and more like blocked up.
And if I'm more in fight or flight, it's more like loose and urgent and frequent. Okay, does that make sense? So again, not to get too gross, but I did have this sense when I was feeling my back in the morning that like my bowels had something to do with it.
And I even, you know, usually use the restroom in the morning and wasn't really able to, but had this kind of like bloated, gassy feeling. And again, instead of thinking of like, well, what have I been eating or like what caused this? I just, it was just so clear to me, like your nervous system is dysregulated.
This is classic, you know, nervous system dysregulation for you is shutting down that digestive system. Again, that's why I felt like the skiing would be so helpful and important for me is because that is just such a peaceful place for me.
I was able to use the restroom. And that felt really good. So anyway, that's all I'm going to say about that.
But just keeping in mind, your digestion is closely tied to your nervous system. And some of those uncomfortable feelings in the body, it's hard to tell exactly what is going on, especially people who've had chronic pain, their interoception, which is their ability to tell what is going on in their body, from the signals from their body to their brain, can become less accurate. So again, just something I noticed.
And after that release, I did feel better. And throughout the day, just kept feeling better and better. Now, the tape was still on.
It's tape that you can wear for several days. So I still, like, I bathed with it, and the next day was still wearing it. And throughout the next day, Monday, I probably noticed my back maybe 10 times.
And the rest of the time, it was feeling pretty good. I still had the tape on, but I wasn't in any rush to force my nervous system to, you know, not have that assistance. It felt good to still have it on.
It was like a little tender still. If I touched it, it was sore to the touch, for sure. But it wasn't like painful, other than a few times I noticed it.
And probably five of those ten times that I noticed my back were at yoga, because I did decide that it sounded good to do a hot yoga class. And I did notice my back with certain movements. And then I also noticed that I could relax and quickly either just keep going with the movement or modify it or take a little break or whatever, and the pain would go right away.
So the next day, so this is Tuesday now, I still have the tape on. I'm starting to feel like, you know, it's probably about time to take it off. But again, I'm just listening to my body.
I've gotten some coaching about the stressors in my life and ways that I was magnifying those stressors and making things harder on myself. And so that has really helped. And through this whole process, it was just interesting because each time it happens now, it's just clearer to me that this mind-body stuff is going on, and it makes this whole process of when there is a flare or an aggravation, just to be very compassionate with myself, to really take this as a chance to tune into my body and notice what I am gravitating towards or wanting to do from what's inspiring me.
And I will say that's taken some time to develop, so if you are starting out, you might feel a lot of pressure from what other people are saying. You've gotten a lot of your information from outside sources, and so you'll know the difference when it sounds like a should, and I'm doing air quotes, like should, like, you know, I should meditate for 20 minutes, or I should journal in this certain way for this amount of time, like versus if you ask yourself, your internal, your wise self, your higher self, your intuition, your body, however you like to think of it, what sounds good to you, sweetie? Like what, how can I help you love?
I like to talk to myself in this loving way like that. What do you need, hun? And then if there are any shoulds, have it come from that place, right?
From the wise self, from that calm self. And usually it's things like you should take a break or you should not be so worried, right? So those are the only kind of shoulds to listen to from your calm internal self.
But when you find that urgency or that desperate-ness or this, it's actually a nervous system state of flight of like trying to figure out and trying to fix, then you're still in a dysregulated state. And so it will not be effective if you're finding a problem and then trying all these things to fix it. Again, this is a process.
I teach all about it. I love teaching people how to tune into their intuition with their own bodies, how to think of their symptoms differently so that they're able to move through them more quickly, so that they're able to learn from these experiences. And as we keep regulating our nervous system with each of these times these things happen, our window of tolerance grows, our ability to stay regulated, no matter what's going on, expands each time we work on regulating our nervous system, coming back to that calm place, feeling more safe in our body.
And you can learn more about all of the techniques I teach through my podcast, through my membership program, my monthly membership, Alignment Academy. If you're ready to do this, we'll support. Have a loving group atmosphere, where you can bring your questions and share your celebrations.
And I also have a very special hybrid one-on-one slash group coaching program called Somatic Journey, where we're diving deep with individual sessions three times a month and one group mini retreat together, focusing on fun, different ways to connect the mind and body through hypnosis, dream interpretation, enhancing our intuition, and learning about our human design and how that affects the body. So that Somatic Journey information will be in the show notes as well. And if you've been liking this podcast and have not yet given it a rating and review, it's very easy to pop over to iTunes, give it a five-star rating, a sentence or two for a review, and I would really appreciate it.
I read all of the reviews and cherish them. And it does help my podcast get found by more people, apparently, is what they say. So thanks for doing that.
Thanks in advance. And have a great rest of your day, guys. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Episode #112- How to Know if You’re in Freeze Mar 26, 2023

In this episode I talk all about the nervous system state of freeze.

This is the nervous system state of shutdown when the system detects a mortal threat.

The nervous system chooses this state as the best option for your survival, so it is not a conscious choice.

Here is an example of what you may feel in freeze:

Feeling space, foggy, unable to think clearly, forgetting details, disoriented, forgetting where you’re going, losing track of time, continual exhaustion, numb, no energy, feeling overwhelmed, disconnection, feeling trapped, hopelessness, helplessness & shame.

If you identify with feeling these emotions, you are going in to freeze.

Listen in for more details about how to know you're in freeze and how it affects the body!

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 112, How to Know If You're in Freeze. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. Hello, my loves. This episode, I'm going to talk about the state of freeze, the nervous system state so that you can identify if you are in freeze.
For me, I feel like I tended to be someone who was a little more anxious, more of the sympathetic activation, meaning fight or flight, primarily flight, high achiever, wanting to get things done. But then lately in my life, especially since my mom passed away and I've started to learn about trauma responses and the nervous system, I really have started to identify with freeze. I think part of it is also I'm growing my coaching business, so I'm putting myself out there in different ways.
There's been a lot of overwhelm. So freeze is a nervous system state. I feel like I really become an expert in over these last few years.
Now, in general, for all of our survival responses, they are to try to protect us when there is danger. So if there is a threat that we think we can handle, then our nervous system will choose fight or flight. And this is a choice by the nervous system and our subconscious mind.
We are not thinking this through. This happens physiologically at the body level. If the threat is more than we feel that we can handle, the body and the nervous system can choose to go into freeze or shut down.
We see this with animals in nature. If they're being hunted, and there's no way they could outrun the predator, they might have the nervous system response to freeze so that the predator might not notice them, and they might survive that way by just becoming immobilized. So the body closes up and the systems shut down.
So our primitive system decides what nervous system state is best for us to adapt to survive. And when it chooses freeze, these are the types of things that you will feel or notice in your body. Your head can feel spacey or foggy, unable to think clearly.
You could forget details or feel disoriented. You could feel blank or checked out, forgetting where you're going or losing track of time, continually feeling exhausted or numb, no energy, feeling overwhelmed, feeling like you're on autopilot or disconnection, feeling lifeless with a flat affect. Think of the walking dead.
You're immobilized or feeling collapsed, dissociated, emptiness, trapped, hopelessness, helplessness, burnt out, depression, isolation, feeling like you can't defend yourself or say no, wanting to hide and numb out. This is where shame is, so feeling ashamed and like something is wrong with you, feeling abandoned or unwanted or not good enough. It may show up as the silent treatment or giving up quickly when you're trying to advocate for your needs.
You could see difficulty taking actions or making decisions, procrastinating, fear of achieving or trying new things. And you still could be highly functional in a functional freeze state where you're a hard worker, an overachiever, performing well, just feeling numb on the inside, like you're watching yourself in your life, but not experiencing it. Freeze can have a mix of two states, the dorsal and the sympathetic.
So it can have some conflicting energy, like a horse that's given a direction to run and stay still at the same time. So you may think things like, there's so much to do, but I can't do all of it, but I need to do it all, but I can't do it, and I need to do it. So you can have a lot of energy, but also feel stuck.
Eventually, if the nervous system continues to be overwhelmed, it could go to immobility, to a shut down state, where you get tired and fuzzy, you can't think. It's like, I can't do all the things I want to, so I'm just gonna go back to sleep. And the more you try to get unstuck, the more stuck you may feel.
I have experienced this so much. As I said, with growing my business, it's crazy to me. Now I can watch all that's happening.
And so say I'll have a new idea, and I'll think about doing it, and then I'll think about the website that I have needs to be updated, and I need to figure out how to post three more things related to that. And so soon, I have overwhelmed myself. I get very tired, and I have this chaotic feeling in my brain, so I feel like maybe I should just rest, take a nap, distract for a little while, go get a cup of coffee.
And so I literally create freeze in myself, thinking of something that I need to do, and then all of these things that my brain thinks I have to do first, or that also need to be done, and soon I actually feel tired and overwhelmed and can't do anything. And that, again, is the protective nature of freeze to keep you from doing something where you could get hurt, right? So it's this quote unquote safety reaction, but it's keeping you immobilized.
If you feel like you're swimming upstream of a major current to get things done, then you're probably in freeze. The other thing to notice is that when you are in freeze, you will tell a story of how bad things are in all of the areas of your life. I call it the freeze goggles.
So when you have the freeze goggles on, it's like everything you're looking at just seems kind of dreary and hopeless and bad. So I had an example where I was getting coached, and I was telling my coach how I was bad in all the areas, not a great mom, horrible coach, every example I could think of where things weren't going how I wanted. And we talked about my yoga class, and I had had 10 people that night in yoga, which is usually what I would want, 10 people or more.
And I still told her, yeah, but I teach the same thing all the time. It's probably so boring for them. It's not creative.
I bet they hate it. Right? So that is the idea of those freeze goggles.
Even when something could potentially be something that in other frames of mind you'd be excited about, when you're in freeze, even something good, you can see the bad part about it. And it feels very real. So whenever I'm in freeze, I've started to really be able to notice it now.
And then I'm better able to just remind myself like, okay, this feels real, but it's not as bad as it seems. And there are several other specific strategies for coming out of freeze. So the story you would tell if you were in freeze is you're hopeless, you're stuck, you're powerless, because this state immobilizes the nervous system.
That's what it's designed to do. When you're chronically in freeze, you can have a low capacity for emotion and connection. You will often find yourself in situations where you feel trapped, unheard or helpless, and until you start to notice and recognize what's going on with freeze for you and supporting the nervous system to regulate it, you'll continue to have these same patterns.
Physiologically, the way that freeze affects your body is by decreasing the heart rate, decreasing the blood pressure and temperature, decreasing your muscle tone and facial expressions and eye contact. There's decreased social behavior, sexual function and decreased immunity. And there's increased fatigue, brain fog, and focus on the body sensations.
There's also increased fuel storage. So you could have the best diet in the world, but if you're in freeze, your digestion is not going to work properly, and you will be more likely to hang on to the food as storage because your nervous system is in the survival state of freeze. What I experienced is something I see oftentimes with my clients is that they were more on the activation side, the high achievers doing things with a lot of frenetic energy earlier in their lives, and then maybe have moved more into this freeze and overwhelm state as they've gotten older or had kids or had more stressors in their lives.
So you may feel like you go into an out of freeze or you may feel like you're predominantly in freeze and stuck in freeze. So with this podcast, I wanted to just help you get an understanding of what freeze feels like so that you can make sense of what's going on with your body, with your physiology, and how to move out of it. So for coming out of freeze, I'm actually doing a workshop.
I'll have a link in the show notes, but it's coming out tomorrow. So go ahead and click on that link if you want to be involved live or have access to the replays. A special workshop all about coming out of freeze.
I'll have some other workshops available this week as well. If you register, they'll also come with an exclusive coaching call with me to answer all of your questions on Friday, March 31st. So if you're listening when this comes out, go ahead and click on the show notes.
Or if it's after, you can always find the replays there as well. All right, you guys have a great week. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #111- Pleasure on Purpose Mar 20, 2023

In this episode, I talk about one of my favorite things to teach- having more rest, pleasure and fun in your life.

Most people with chronic pain are devoted, high achieving, hard working, people pleasing givers who have a hard time taking time for themselves.

But this concept is research based, and actually shows that when your pain or emotions are high the best thing to do is to distract rather than try to work through it and process.

We often think we should be working on healing all of the time, but sometimes our nervous system just needs a break, and avoidance behaviors can help you get more regulated.

So instead of meditating or journaling, you may watch a funny show or read a book (NOT about pain).

Then when you are regulated and your sensations are at a more manageable level, you can do the cognitive or emotional processing at that point.

When you do distracting activities with intent, they can be soothing for your nervous system.

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

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Episode #110- Trauma and Post Traumatic Growth Mar 15, 2023

In this episode I define trauma in nervous system terms, so you can have a more compassionate view about the survival states and why you go into them.

Your nervous system is always trying to keep you safe and can get stuck in survival states from all different types of trauma.

All of us have had things that are more than our nervous system can handle, but some have not been able to process it because they have not had a compassionate witness.

Trauma can be processed and there can actually be more growth than would have been otherwise possible (post traumatic growth).

If you want to learn more about the nervous system, how it affects your body, and how to regulate it, sign up for my free nervous system modules here:

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 110, Trauma and Post Traumatic Growth. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. Hello, my loves. Today, I want to talk about a term you might have heard a lot about, trauma, and maybe one that you haven't heard about, post-traumatic growth.
Now, I want to just keep this really simple and give you a few facts, not dive too much into depth into the world of trauma. There's obviously so much with trauma and healing, and really what we know about how trauma affects the body. But I don't want to get into all of that today.
I just want to give you a basic, basic concept of what we even mean by the word trauma. So if you think of the nervous system's capacity to tolerate a situation, trauma is more than what the nervous system can handle. So there are certain things that tend to be traumatic for everyone, but it is possible that something could be traumatic for one person and not for another, because it's more than what their nervous system can handle.
When you think of going into a trauma response, that's the same as going into a survival state. So when you go into fight or flight, freeze or fawn, again, just keeping it simple, there are more nuances to the nervous system. But the main four states that we talk about are fight or flight, freeze or fawn, and those are survival states, or what you might hear called trauma responses.
So if you, for example, didn't get a lot of attention, a trauma response, a survival state that you might have gone into could have been flight, where you tried to be the best at everything you could and be a high achiever and be a perfectionist and always be doing things so that you can get that sense of safety that you want. And your nervous system develops as you are a child and adapts to going into these states without your conscious awareness. So again, thinking of just as a child growing up, your nervous system was doing its best to survive, to help you survive.
And so you may have gone into some of these survival states, inevitably, you did, and even not process some of what happened because you were in these survival states. Now, we are made to go into and out of these survival states, right? We might react with fight or flight and then come back to neutral.
But what often happens is the trauma, the traumatic incident is not processed. And so that can lead us to stay stuck in these survival states. Peter Levine, who is an expert in somatic healing of trauma, somatic experiencing, says that trauma is what happens in absence of a compassionate witness.
So there could be an event that has been traumatic, but was processed with someone and doesn't stay stuck as trauma in the system. When we talk about things staying stuck, that can also be a little confusing. So the best explanation I've heard of that is by Dr. Amy Apigan.
You can look at my podcast number 99 to hear the full explanation. But basically, the nervous system controls the muscle tension, the gut, blood flow to different areas. So there can be a nervous system response, a trauma response that has a certain effect on your body.
She gives an example of when you're pre-verbal, so under six months, and you don't have another way to calm down your nervous system. If your needs aren't met, that you may start to try to decrease the discomfort by raising up your shoulders and activating those shoulder and neck muscles, ears up by the shoulders. That's a common sign of stress and where people carry a lot of their stress.
And as well in the hip flexors, there might be a muscle tension that's produced in the hip flexors to try to get into that fetal tucked up position. So trauma in our nervous system can present in different ways in the body. As adults, that's why somatics can be so important in releasing these trauma response patterns.
So there can be what we call capital T traumas or little t traumas. So basically, there are some things that are generally traumatic to all of the human population. You know, abuse, neglect, and little t traumas could be things like falling off your bicycle, hearing bad news, witnessing violence.
There can be these things that still overwhelm your nervous system, and if they're not processed, lead to some of these protective patterns in the body. There was one time I met someone new, and he was talking about when he was in elementary school, that's when the Challenger space shuttle exploded. And I remember that.
I think I was in fifth grade, and I remember it being sad. I remember it being traumatic. But the way he was describing it in his present adult life, that was still something that was unsettled for him.
It was still something that caused him fear. It was something that changed the course of his life. It was never processed for him.
So when we got into conversation, that was something that he brought up as still affecting him. For me personally, I did not have a lot of capital T trauma growing up in my life. I didn't even have anyone close to me die until a couple of years ago.
And I was in a really good home with a loving family. What did end up being traumatizing for me was the trauma response that I went to being raised in a religious culture where I felt like I needed to always be better. And this wasn't necessarily, I'm just realizing, as an adult, I just started to realize my parents really did love me for who I was.
But I think I took on this feeling of, I'm not good enough, shame, I need to be better, perfectionism. So I would alternate between flight and freeze, feeling hopeless, not good enough, discouraged. And those were the main trauma responses that my nervous system, I think my nervous system was just maybe a little more sensitive than some.
And so things that could have been less traumatic for other people ended up being more than what my nervous system could handle, putting me into these survival states, basically living in survival states. And that's when I finally got diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, because years and years of not having proper blood flow to my digestion or proper functioning of my digestive system, because I was never really in that parasympathetic, calm rest and repair state, I was mainly living in survival states. It took its toll on my body.
And I mean, fortunately, in a way, I'm actually really grateful for it because it brought me to this mind-body approach and to the information about healing and about really changing the way I was putting pressure on myself and keeping myself in survival states. So I often use the analogy, being in a survival state can feel really physiologically to your body like you're being chased by a tiger. And even when the environment around me was not dangerous, I kept that feeling going of being chased by a tiger because I was never satisfied with doing enough.
I thought I needed to do more. I was perfectionistic, which is just impossible to be perfect at things. I was a people pleaser.
Oh yeah, I went into faun a lot too. Oh, lived most of my life in faun actually. So faun is another version of shutting down the nervous system in order to make other people happy, in order to hope that everyone's gonna like you.
A common thing my family would say is, what would the neighbors think? And so that is representative of living in faun. What are people gonna think?
I need to act a certain way. I should be different than I am. And really just starting to shut down part of myself in hopes that more people would like me if I wasn't me.
So those survival responses can be helpful in the short term. But when we're living in survival states, that's where it really starts to affect our body, our relationships, our health, all areas of our life. Often we talk about the trauma that happens to us in our childhood, while our nervous system is developing.
But of course, trauma can happen at any point in someone's life, and that traumatic response can affect their nervous system at any point. And we also know that there is intergenerational trauma. So meaning if your parents or grandparents or your long line of ancestors have generally been stressed or had certain reactions to certain things, that can actually be inherited.
There is a study that they did with mice where they shocked the feet of the mice while they were smelling cherry blossoms. And then later, when those mice had babies, their babies produced cortisol when they smelled that same smell of cherry blossoms that had been associated with that stressful event of their parents. So even though the babies never received the shock to their feet, they had a stress response just from that smell in the environment.
So being in a survival state doesn't mean that you're doing it wrong or that anything has gone wrong. It's actually a sign that your nervous system is working. It's maybe even a little hypervigilant.
But being in a survival state in itself doesn't mean that anything has gone wrong. It is just a sign to you. It is a sign that you're in some kind of fear.
You're believing that you're at some level in danger. So it could be from chronic pain and you're feeling pain, and then you go into the flight mode of, I really wanna fix this and I wanna figure it out. And you start Googling and you start asking a lot of people and that survival state of flight, which may have been very helpful when you were trying to find out other information and trying to solve a problem, becomes less and less helpful and even promotes more of the pain that you're feeling because when you're living in survival states, again, it's affecting the muscle tone in the body, the oxygenation, the inflammation even, and your immunity.
You just set yourself up for things to happen in the body when you're living in a stressed out survival state or going between them or getting stuck in them most of the time. Now, what we also know about trauma is that there can be what's called post-traumatic growth. And that means that because of the experience that the person has gone through, they are able to reach higher levels of growth, of expanding their window of tolerance, of being able to cope with more and more because they've had the trauma and then processed through it.
So it can be very scary for people. Sometimes they'll hear about trauma or they'll read the book, The Body Keeps the Score, and they're reminded of the trauma that they had. And it can feel very overwhelming, and very hopeless, but the person who's gone through trauma, there's actually so much more that they have learned than a person who hasn't gone through those experiences.
You see examples all of the time of people who have had horrible childhoods, and sometimes they end up really repeating those patterns and staying stuck in those behaviors and perpetuating abuse. But there are other people that have had horrible childhoods and who have risen above, who become motivational speakers, who help millions of people because they have gone through those trials. They've been through some of the toughest experiences, and so they can effectively teach people where they would not have had those resources to draw on if they hadn't gone through that.
It's like when there's a forest fire and then the ground becomes even richer and more dense with nutrients and has this place now for fertile growth because of the loss that it had gone through. So this is not to try to minimize anyone's trauma or to be Pollyanna about it and say, yeah, it's great that happened to you, and just be thankful for that, whatever. If that does not resonate with you, that's not the main message I'm trying to portray here.
But there is that other side of trauma that allows for more growth than would be possible if that wasn't there. Now, getting out of survival states requires a lot of compassion for yourself, a lot of understanding. So what I really want you to hear from this episode is that your nervous system is doing its best to try to protect you.
And if there was something that was scary, it came up with ways that it figured were the best ways for you to adapt, either by activating your nervous system, to fight or to run away flight, or to go into a freeze response, to shut down, to fawn, and pretend to be someone you're not. The more you can see your nervous system as trying its best to protect you, and it may be hypervigilant, and it may be overly fearful. And the best way to work with it is to understand it, to work with your nervous system, and not fight it, and not expect it to just be different because you've practiced regulating a couple of times.
These neural pathways, again, since it's subconscious, since it's immediate, since it's been going on for years and maybe decades, those neural pathways are strong. And so just understanding that you start to be this observer of your nervous system, observer of what's going on, allowing it, accepting it, and understanding it. And then from there, you can work to regulate your nervous system more and change it in a loving way.
As Deb Dana says, the nervous system is good at detecting the subtle difference between an invitation and a demand. If this talk about trauma and post-traumatic growth has piqued your interest into delving a little more into the nervous system, finding out more about how the nervous system affects your body, how to get out of these survival states if you notice that you're going into them, then please download my free nervous system modules. I'll have a link in the show notes, and you can start to watch these videos.
There are four videos about your nervous system and how it affects your body, how to regulate it. I will send them to you, and you can start integrating this work into your life, and they're completely free. So go ahead and check out the show notes.
And if you've been liking this podcast and haven't yet given it a rating or review, please pop over to iTunes, give it a five-star rating, a little sentence or two for a review. I read all of them, I really appreciate them, and it helps the podcast be found by more people. So keep learning about that nervous system and regulating it for better help, and have a great week.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review.
And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #109- What is Somatic Coaching? Feb 01, 2023

Today I talk all about somatic coaching- what it is, what it looks like, and who it can help.

Somatic means body, so somatic coaching uses perceptions and sensations and attention to the body in order to enhance the coaching experience.

Most therapy and coaching just involves talking, and using our conscious mind.

But about 95% of our thoughts are subconscious, so many of our behaviors and nervous system responses are not in our conscious awareness.

Through somatic coaching (involving the body vs. just talking), I have reached the deepest insights about myself, and hugely shifted my thoughts and feelings in a short amount of time. Here is what somatic coaching can help with: * Chronic pain/ illness- Somatic coaching helps you feel your sensations more neutrally, which rewires the brain to decrease pain instead of amplifying it. Most chronic conditions are from learned pain pathways that can be rewired. *Returning to movement- Somatic coaching is a great way to get back to exercise or normal movements without pain, since training the brain first has no risk of injury! Sports Psychologists have known the power of visualization with athletes for decades. We use similar techniques to return to movement in a progressive, safe, effective, and pain-free way. *Processing emotions- Somatic coaching is how we can process emotions, since emotions are felt in the body. Trapped emotions are responses learned by the nervous system, and can be can be unlearned with somatic coaching. *Healing trauma- The same somatic techniques to process pain and emotions are used in healing trauma. Trauma occurs when something is more than what your nervous system can handle. By building the capacity of your nervous system through somatic coaching, you can respond differently when triggered without getting stuck in survival states. *Subconscious breakthroughs for behavior change- Ever wonder why you find yourself repeating unhealthy behaviors? We can get to the root of them through somatic coaching. Often something from childhood has primed the nervous system to behave a certain way. This happens subconsciously before you even have conscious awareness of it. Behavior change becomes much easier with somatic coaching and addressing the issue at it's root!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

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Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

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Episode # 108- 5 Minute Somatic Tracking Meditation Jan 04, 2023

In this episode I take you through a 5 minute somatic tracking meditation to calm your nervous system, and rewire your brain to create less pain!

Somatic tracking is the process of going into the sensations in the body and describing them neutrally.

This gives some space between the stimulus (sensation) and the typical response (some form of fear that leads to more pain).

When we can describe the sensations with different words, imagine the color or shape or texture, and just watching what is there instead of reacting to it, it actually trains the brain that the sensation is not important. So it does not continue to produce it.

Listen in for a quick description of why we do somatic tracking to reprocess pain and emotions, and for the short meditation that you can use when you just have a few moments to practice!

Want help applying this into your life? Check out my group coaching membership, Alignment Academy!

Join a community of like minded self healers- full of support, inspiration, and fun!

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Episode #107- Pain Catastrophizing Dec 05, 2022

Today's Episode is about Pain Catastrophizing- what it is and how it affects your symptoms.

People with high levels of pain catastrophizing are more likely to develop a new acute pain, more likely for their acute pain to turn chronic. And who catastrophize more before surgery are more likely to have complications and a slower recovery.

Here are the 13 questions on the Pain Catastrophizing Scale. Rate from 0 (not at all) to 4 (all of the time) when you feel pain:

I worry all the time about whether the pain will end.
I feel I can't go on.
It's terrible and I think it's never going to get any better.
It's awful and I feel that it overwhelms me.
I feel I can't stand it anymore.
I become afraid that the pain may get worse.
I think of other painful experiences.
I anxiously want the pain to go away.
I can't seem to keep it out of my mind.
I keep thinking about how much it hurts.
I keep thinking about how badly I want the pain to stop.
There is nothing I can do to reduce the intensity of the pain.
I wonder whether something serious may happen.

A score over 37 means you tend to catastrophize how you think of your pain.

What is the solution for pain catastrophizing?

Mindfulness- being in the present moment!

There are ways to interpret your pain differently, like through somatic tracking or sending yourself messages of safety

Somatic strategies to calm the nervous system will help decrease pain catastrophizing.

So listen in for this quick summary of pain catastrophizing and how to rewire it!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

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Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 107, Pain Catastrophizing. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind.
Hello, my loves. Today, we are going to talk about pain catastrophizing, what that is and what the research shows about it. So pain catastrophizing is a way that they measure the way you think about your pain.
What they found in research is that people's views on pain, the way they think about their pain and talk about their pain actually influences how much pain they have. This totally makes sense with neuroscience because of the pain-fear cycle. If you want to learn more about that, you can listen back to episode 69, the pain-fear pain cycle.
And I talk a little bit about pain catastrophizing there, but I wanted to make a quick little episode about pain catastrophizing today because I think it's so helpful just to hear the kind of statements that they use in the pain catastrophizing scale so that you can be aware of when you're catastrophizing about your pain and decrease that to decrease your pain. The pain catastrophizing scale is given to patients where they rate from zero, which is not at all, to four, which is all the time. How much they think about these types of thoughts when they have pain.
It's only 13 questions, so I'll read them to you. Here are the 13 statements on the pain catastrophizing scale. I worry all the time about whether the pain will end.
I feel I can't go on. It's terrible, and I think it's never gonna get any better. It's awful, and I feel that it overwhelms me.
I feel I can't stand it anymore. I become afraid that the pain may get worse. I think of other painful experiences.
I anxiously want the pain to go away. I can't seem to keep it out of my mind. I keep thinking about how much it hurts.
I keep thinking about how badly I want the pain to stop. There's nothing I can do to reduce the intensity of the pain. I wonder whether something serious may happen.
These sound like normal things that people who are in pain, and especially in chronic pain, would think. But what the research shows is that people who score higher on pain catastrophizing also are more likely to get new acute pains. They're more likely for their acute pains to turn chronic.
And people who catastrophize more before surgery are more likely to have complications and delays with their healing. So notice with yourself, do you tend to think these type of thoughts? And how frequently do you think them?
Even if they seem true, even if you could prove them, they are not helpful to think. They're actually amping up the danger signal and dysregulating the nervous system to think these kinds of thoughts. So what is the solution to catastrophizing?
It's mindfulness. So episode 70, I talk about mindfulness and give you some examples and give you some examples of different ways to think about your symptoms. But one good example of mindfulness is somatic tracking.
You may have heard the term somatic tracking. It's very similar to a way I learned as a life coach to process emotions and what they do in somatic experiencing to process trauma. And basically, it's going into the body, just describing what is going on in real time with general neutral words.
So instead of saying, I have a lot of anxiety right now, or I have a migraine right now, you might say, I have a tightness in the chest and a rapid heartbeat, or I have a pulsing sensation in this part of my head. So you just describe it neutrally. You see, if you visualize a shape or a color to it, is it moving?
Is it warm or cold? These types of things bring you to the present moment. You're not thinking about the future.
You're not thinking about the past, and you're able to calm the nervous system. When you get into more of that relaxed rest and repair state, you're actually able to decrease those pain signals. Your brain is not on high alert and creating more and more of them.
Now, I'll give you a few suggestions for thoughts you might want to try on instead. You could notice if you're catastrophizing, just be the observer at first. You could label, oh, there's my brain catastrophizing, and then you want to send your brain messages of safety.
You want to be in the present moment. You want to describe things neutrally, just as they are. So you could say things like part of me is feeling scared.
My brain interpreted this signal as dangerous, but I'm safe. It takes time for my nervous system to heal, and that's okay. I'm learning to take care of myself.
I am here. This is happening. I'm working on getting physically and mentally stronger.
This too shall pass. There may be other thoughts that are soothing to you. One of my favorites is just you are safe.
You're safe. It's amazing how often I tell that to myself because my primitive brain likes to be very reactive. It's always on the lookout for danger, and my survival responses are constantly kicking in.
And when I feel that dysregulation in my body, I tell myself, I'm safe. I look around the room. You can actually look and name objects that you see.
You can think of things that you smell and taste and touch. Tuning into your senses or many of the other somatic approaches that are out there for calming the body and the nervous system can also be helpful to come back to the present moment when you're catastrophizing. If you want help with pain catastrophizing or any of the other pain reprocessing or emotional processing techniques that I teach, I would love to be your coach.
There are some different options that I have for a group membership, for a few limited spots of one-on-one coaching. And if you'd like to check that out more, just feel free to click on the information in the show notes. And right now, I'm offering a free 60-minute consultation with me so that you can talk to me about your specific situation and see if coaching might be a good fit for you.
Thanks for listening. Have a great week. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #106- Extinction Bursts Nov 15, 2022

Episode #106- Extinction Bursts

Today’s topic is about part of the normal mind-body healing process- extinction bursts.

When you are starting to experience some success with healing, one thing that can commonly happen is a resurgence of pain in an old area or a completely new pain.

Dr Sarno called this the “symptom imperative.”

In “The Way Out” by Alan Gordon, they call it an extinction burst because of a study with a rat receiving food through a lever.

When the lever broke, the rate started pressing more urgently and quickly before the behavior of pressing the button extinguished.

If you have an extinction burst, there are 3 common stages 1- panic, 2- forcing it, and 3- oh this is how it works!

Listen to this episode for more, and trust the process- extinction bursts are a good thing because it means the signal will soon become extinct!

Want help applying this into your life? Check out my group coaching membership, Alignment Academy!

https://betsy-jensen.mykajabi.com/alignment-academy-membership

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 106, Extinction Bursts. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become unstoppable body and mind. Hello, my loves. Today, we are going to talk about a topic.
I actually can't believe I have not recorded a podcast about this sooner. It's such an important step in the process of mind-body healing. And it's good to know about it, that it can come up and have a name for what's going on so that you know.
So today we're going to talk about extinction bursts. This is also what Dr. Sarno called the symptom imperative. But basically, they got the name extinction burst from an experiment they did with a rat, where the rat was pressing a lever for food and the lever broke.
So the rat wasn't getting the food. So they expected the rat to just stop pressing the lever, which it did. But before that, it actually started pressing the lever even more frequently and urgently.
So there was actually this increase of behavior before there was the extinction. So think of an extinction burst as a good thing, because it's a sign that it's on its way out. But what can happen is you're going along and starting to get these mind-body concepts under your belt and feeling better, and then you have a resurgence of pain.
It could be what they call like a flare of the same pain that you've had before. In the Boulder back pain study, they found that that was often what happened. But some people would have pain in a totally different area, like their hip or their knee.
So most people think that they've injured something, and then they start to get afraid. And then we know the pain-fear cycle kicks in and actually causes the brain to produce more pain and to amplify the pain. But remember, neuroplastic pain is all based on fear.
So this is what Alan Gordon says in The Way Out. By authentically changing your relationship with fear, you can start breaking out of the pain-fear cycle and your symptoms will begin to fade. But if fear has been a part of your life for a long time, your brain has been accustomed to it and may not go quietly.
So basically, it's a protective response from our body. And it makes sense if we've lived with so much fear and high guard and high anxiety and hypervigilance that it doesn't feel totally comfortable to just relax. If you were sleeping in the jungle at night, you wouldn't have the best sleep of your life because you would be in this vigilant state.
And when you're in that vigilant state a lot, it does not feel comfortable to let that go. So these extinction bursts are usually seen at the early part of your healing journey. And it is usually very frightening and brings up a lot of emotions.
The most common thing people think is that something structural is going on after all, or they've re-injured themselves or hurt themselves with a new injury. The other thing I see people thinking a lot is that they're not good enough. They can't do this.
They haven't been doing enough somatic tracking or they haven't been meditating well enough. So just notice if you do start to get some sensations during this process, it's not always linear. And if sensations come up, what emotions come up for you?
And just know that the more neutral you can stay about it, the faster it will go away. There are certain stages that people go through. They describe in The Way Out three stages.
And the first one is panic. So that's normal, to feel panic, to worry, to think something's gone wrong. This is part of the process.
The second stage, he calls forcing it. So it's where you're like trying really hard. You might try your somatic tracking, and then you get frustrated that that doesn't work.
And you do all of the things that you've been doing that have been working, but with this like urgency or intensity. It's like you're in flight. And so your nervous system is still activated, but you're like doing all the right things, but from this energy of forcing it.
And then he says, after the terror of stage one and the frustration of stage two, there's stage three, which is, oh yeah, this is how that works. So if you guys haven't read The Way Out yet, it is really a great book. I love how he explains extinction bursts and the process here.
That's why I'm quoting it so much. Because when you can start to see that this is normal, this is part of the process, then the fear goes away much more quickly. The frustration goes away and you'll actually be able to resolve your symptoms in days or hours or minutes, depending on how you're reacting.
But this process of rewiring these neural pathways and regulating your nervous system is not one that you can force. Trust the process when things do come up, if you have a resurgence or new sensation, stay in the present moment, remind yourself you're safe. Notice if you start catastrophizing, which is basically thinking of the future or the past.
They actually say the best thing to do if your pain is at eight, nine or 10 is distract. Do something completely different. And that could even be taking some pain medicine if that fills in alignment with what would help you.
Or it could be watching a TV show or taking a nap. When we have the symptom and we know these things that normally work, but we're doing them urgently, and that's exacerbating the symptom, the tendency again is to just want to work your way out of it and force and do all these things. It's counterintuitive to go into it, to acknowledge it, to relax when this is going on, to trust that this will be okay.
But seeing that this is part of healing, this is part of the process can help. And each time your nervous system gets dysregulated and you bring it back to home and you regulate it again, you build your window of tolerance, you build this capacity to tolerate more and more. So sometimes you're only moving the needle 1% at a time, but that is still progress.
And that's better than trying to force the nervous system to change 100% all at once, and then all of the resistance that causes with the change. Your body has this natural intelligence. The more you understand it and work with it, the easier these sensations will be.
If you are interested in learning more about how this applies in your life, please check out my group coaching membership, Alignment Academy. There are two weekly coaching calls, that's eight calls per month, where you can join Get Live Coaching or Get Written Coaching through Slack. There are modules that you can watch that teach all of these concepts, and you're able to get real time feedback from me about how you're applying it in your life.
Enrollment is ending November 16th until next year. So if this is calling to you, you can find more information in the show notes today. Have a good week, bye.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review.
And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Bonus Episode- Alignment Academy Founder’s Special Oct 19, 2022

I know some of you are not on my email list or following me on social media (Why not?!?)

But if you aren't, you may not have heard yet about my amazing "Founder's Special" for Alignment Academy.

Alignment Academy is my group coaching program with 2 calls per week, modules, and resources for healing.

Normally it's $99 per mo, but for the first 49 it will be a fixed rate of $49 per mo for as long as you are in Alignment Academy.

9 spots are gone in just the first few days, so be sure and click on the link for more information if this is calling to you!

Alignment Academy information:

https://betsy-jensen.mykajabi.com/alignment-academy-membership

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode #104-Predictive Coding Oct 13, 2022

Predictive coding is like a brain's subconscious shortcut.

Predictive coding is the #1 reason for chronic pain symptoms. Especially for people who tell me they feel calm, but their pain is related to a movement, food, time of the month, etc.

I give you a few examples of how predictive coding works in our bodies to produce symptoms, and how it can be reversed! Be sure and listen to find out more

Want help with applying this into your life? Check out Alignment Academy (my group coaching membership). Click here:

https://betsy-jensen.mykajabi.com/alignment-academy-membership

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Transcript-Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 104, Predictive Coding.
In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life. Become unstoppable body and mind.
Hello, my loves. Today's topic is predictive coding, which I have to say is probably the number one way that people keep themselves in chronic pain, is by looking at what I would call predictive coding, the way that the brain predicts what's going to happen and actually generates pain based on beliefs. When pain comes and goes, and it seems related to stress, it's very easy to see, oh, there's an emotional component.
But sometimes people will tell me every time I bend over, I feel this pain, or it's just when I'm typing, or it's a certain food that I've eaten, or when the weather changes or bright lights, or it's that time of the month. And they tell me about this predictive pattern that they have seen for months and maybe even years. But what they found in neuroscience is that our brain is very efficient.
There are many things that we subconsciously assume that change our body. Think of the example of food poisoning. You could have food that you ingested and then you got very, very sick.
So in the future, just thinking of that food has a physiological response on your body. Your stomach may tighten up. If you actually tried to eat that food, you might physically not be able to even swallow it, or you might get sick.
Your brain and your body want you to remember that time that felt so horrible. So any traces of that now, your brain can actually create, recreate some of those symptoms. When a car next to you moves, you may feel your body feel like it's moving when the car next to you moves.
Nothing actually moved, but because of the environment and what your brain has put together as this is what this means, your brain creates a sensation in your body. What they found in neuroscience is that our brain is very efficient. So it can very easily form some subconscious thoughts about what happened and what is going on.
And then our reticular activating system, this part of our brain that's designed to back up our beliefs will actually cause us to only find those things in reality that back up our beliefs and remember those and forget the rest. So an example is someone might tell me that their back pain is related to their periods. And every time they have their period right before they have back pain, for example.
And then when I question them a little more, sometimes they'll say, yeah, when I was on vacation, that one time I didn't have it. Or out of the last four months, three out of the times I had it and one I didn't. And that is actually showing that it is not something structural, right?
If it was something structural, it would happen every single time. And so just by that alone, you can see the brain tends to kind of overgeneralize to see the patterns it's familiar with. It happens at this subconscious level.
So we're not even consciously aware of it, but it's like Pavlov's dogs. When he would ring a bell repeatedly right before he gave them food, they came to associate the bell with food, and physiologically their body changed. So if I injured my back at one point and bending over hurt, then my brain would associate that bending with pain.
And there are a lot of people that would verify that, yes, bending, there's these structural things that happen, and so that increases your pain, and your back has this damage. So there are a lot of fearful things that you could also hear about bending. So long after the injury is healed, typically three to six months is the longest it takes an injury to heal.
And after that time, it's fair to assume that there are a lot of predictive coding pathways that your brain has generated. Right? It wants to be efficient.
Your brain saves time. It's like a shortcut by having this predictive coding. So after your injury has healed, you may still feel that pain with bending forward.
And if you felt that pain for 10 years, every time you bend forward, you have a lot of evidence gathered of times that you've bent forward and it's hurt. And again, your brain might have even had sometimes that it hadn't hurt, but it will quickly not remember them or not even realize that they ever happened. We know our bodies will subconsciously prepare for movement.
For example, if we're going to go from sitting to standing, our blood vessels constrict before we go to stand up so that our blood pressure regulates. So the same thing can happen, for example, with our muscles, when we have a pattern of, I've had this before myself, that's how I know, when my back has been very tight, and then I know, you know, with a certain movement, that that's when I feel pain, I prepare to go from sitting to standing, and I actually, before I even do it, feel my back tighten up and then go to standing. So it's like the brain believes there's this area to protect, it has to tighten up, and in doing that, it is actually causing pain.
It's causing the pain that I feel that reinforces that there is damage that it needs to tighten up to protect. One example of predictive coding in the body that happens physiologically is that when we drink water, we stop feeling thirsty. Now, it would take 20 minutes for ourselves to actually register that the hydration level has changed.
But our brain through experience and through what people have told us is that when we have that thirst signal, that when we drink water, that will solve it. So instead of drinking water for 20 whole minutes until we stop feeling thirsty, we actually drink water, stop feeling thirsty, and then the body goes on doing what it needs to because that task is taken care of. You could think of predictive coding and the reticular activating system, like when you buy a new car and all of a sudden, you notice all the same cars that are out there that are like yours that you had never noticed before.
So this can happen with pain, with these patterns. I know for me, I associated drinking coffee with my stomach hurting or drinking caffeine with urinary urgency. But once I started questioning that maybe this is just some predictive coding that my brain is using as a shortcut, I started to see examples of when it wasn't true.
And this is what we do when we think there might be some predictive coding. We want to really lean into detective or the opposite. So this is where you look for any examples of how your belief is not true.
So if you say, you know, every time I drive for more than an hour, my back hurts, but then you notice, you can sit in the passenger seat for two hours, and your back doesn't hurt. Or you notice that you can sit in the movie seats for two hours, and your back doesn't hurt. So you start to look for, like a detective, you know, making its strongest case.
You want to look for every shred of evidence, every time that you feel better than you think you're going to, any time that it possibly might be a different pattern than what you expect. Doing this does two things. First of all, you start building this effort and building this evidence for yourself that you can look back on in times of doubt.
You could even write it down, get a notebook and be a detective. The other thing it does is it shifts your brain, that reticular activating system that is used to being focused on looking for pain and what creates pain, it shifts it to looking for when you're feeling better, things that feel good when you're distracted. So shifting your focus there, it's like a gratitude journal.
When you start focusing on just three things you're grateful for each day, by the end of 30 days, you have a whole shift in how you see the world and your happiness level, because you start to look for things to be grateful for each day, and then that becomes the habit of your brain, the habit of that way of thinking. So looking for, ah, that's interesting. This feels slightly better.
Ah, when I was distracted, that's usually when it happens. When I was distracted, that felt better. And when you notice pain, notice those stories that you have around your pain.
There have been so many stories of people that have evidence, they have medical evidence of this research study or this person, what they said, that this causes their pain. And when they start believing differently, I've experienced it myself with foods, with exercises, with movements. When you start to believe differently, amazing things can happen.
So just have some curiosity. I urge you to be that detective for the opposite. And notice any times you see yourself getting stuck on some kind of belief that you just believe is true for you, it might just be predictive coding.
All right, thanks you guys. Have a good week.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today. That helps you in your life, like it helped me.
Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #103- Freedom From Food and Chronic Pain with Dr Katrina Ubell Sep 19, 2022

In this episode I talk with Lifecoach and former client, Dr Katrina Ubell.

Today we talk about Katrina's journey as a weightloss coach, and getting out of chronic pain.

And we talk about Katrina's new book, out tomorrow- September 20, 2022!

Get the sneak peek on "How to Lose Weight For the Last Time- Brain Based Solutions for Permanent Weight Loss", and how it relates to coaching on chronic pain.

For more information on Katrina Ubell and her new book, check out her website here: https://katrinaubellmd.com/

To hear my original podcast episode with her on her "Weight Loss for Busy Physicians" Podcast in Oct 2020: https://katrinaubellmd.com/how-i-cured-my-chronic-pain-and-acid-reflux-with-betsy-jensen/

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode #102- 4 Ways Teens Trigger Survival Brain, and Relaxation Challenge with Torie Sep 13, 2022

Today I interview Torie Henderson- Lifecoach for exhausted, overwhelmed moms.

She talk about how teens can trigger survival brain, but the concepts here can apply to close family members or friends too if you aren't a parent of teens!

Torie also struggled with chronic pain- vulvodynia starting at age 21, then lower back pain and TMJ. She talks about how she learned not to carry stress in her body.

Join to listen to the insidious ways we cause ourselves nervous system dysregulation when we have teenagers or chronic pain.

AND if you want to practice nervous system regulation with us, be sure and join our "Relaxation Challenge" September 26-30!

Each day we will go over different techniques together so you can try them out for yourself and see what works for you!

****The Relaxation Challenge will be on Torie's "Supermom is Getting Tired" Facebook page, and you can sign up here:

Facebook Group - Supermom is Getting Tired https://www.facebook.com/groups/Supermomisgettingtired/

Torie Henderson is a master certified life coach, teacher and owner of LifeCoachingforParents.com. She has helped thousands of overworked and exhausted Supermoms release self pressure so they can more fully enjoy their life as mom. Torie is host of the Supermom is Getting Tired Podcast and is devoted to helping moms release the burdens and the guilt so they can enjoy raising their great kids all the way into adulthood.

Website https://LifeCoachingforParents.com

Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/LifeCoachingForParents/

Supermom is Getting Tired Podcast https://lifecoachingforparents.com/podcast/

Podcast on itunes

Time for The Talk - Sex Education Class https://timeforthetalk.com

Leading Your Teen Group Coaching Program https://LeadingYourTeen.com

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode #101- Survival Brain Aug 17, 2022

This episode is all about how your brain functions in survival mode, and how survival brain actually changes your thinking.

The idea from the podcast was from a clip on Youtube by Jacob Ham called "Learning Brain vs Survival Brain." So since it's back to school time, I thought about how these survival states even affect our ability to learn.

In survival brain you do not like ambiguities and are prone to black and white thinking. You have a hard time seeing another perspective and you are afraid to make mistakes.

In learning brain you are able to see the big picture, and accept nuances in thinking. There is more receptivity, creativity and ability to connect.

And learning brain is the parasympathetic/calm state which is the "rest and repair" state for your body- where it performs at ultimate health.

So check out this episode for more about detecting survival brain and how to get to the learning brain state more often!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode #100 - Coaching on Pain Jul 31, 2022

In today’s episode I want to tell you about how I coach on healing chronic pain.

I merge PRT (Pain Reprocessing Therapy) with Life Coach tools and Nervous system regulation, for an amazing mix of learning and application into real life.

PRT teaches us to reframe and rewire the brain’s signals of pain, because pain signals are either amplified or decreased depending on how we react to them.

When the brain and nervous system do not interpret sensations in the body as dangerous, the brain produces less and less of them and chronic pain can be extinguished. (This is shown in the latest neuroscience research).

PRT tools include somatic tracking, detective for the opposite, graded exposure, and outcome independence. You can read more about them in detail in “The Way Out” by Alan Gordon, or listen to my Somatic Tracking and Graded Exposure Meditations on my previous Episodes.

The way I coach applies PRT tools by understanding your nervous system.

You can have all of the best tools, but if you are applying them in a way that puts you into a survival state, you add a lot of resistance to your healing.

I teach you to regulate your nervous system by finding those things that distract or feel fun. Finding calming thoughts or actions will help you get to the parasympathetic/calms state where your body can heal.

By learning to neutralize pain, process emotions, feel positive emotions on purpose, and read your body’s cues, you can become more embodied and intuitive.

You can use your body and your emotions to tune into your internal guidance system. This will help you make decisions and trust yourself.

If this approach is calling to you, I have amazing group options going on now! Check out Alignment Academy here:

https://betsy-jensen.mykajabi.com/alignment-academy-membership

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode # 99- The Biology of Trauma with Dr Aimie Apigian Jul 13, 2022

Today I have a special guest on the podcast, Dr Aimie Apigian.

Dr Aimie is a leading medical expert on how life experiences get stored in the body and how to restore the body to it's best health.

We talk about the chronic effects of trauma on the nervous system, and ultimately the health of the body.

Dr Aimie sees all chronic health conditions relating more to dysregulation of the nervous system, rather than genetics or other factors.

"The nervous system is what drives our health"

Listen in for how trauma is stored in the body, what types of health concerns are most common, and what to do to heal trauma from the somatic and biological approach.

If you want more information about bridging the biology and somatic work in trauma, be sure and register for the upcoming "Biology of Trauma Summit" Aug 8-14, 2022. It's free and online, and has an amazing panel of speakers!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode #98- What if It’s Not? Jun 29, 2022

Here is a question that I heard a lot this weekend at the coaching retreat I went to- "What if it's not?"

The survival brain will want us to focus all of our energy on figuring out all of the bad things that could happen and to prevent them.

So it quickly forms habits of what foods or activities, physical things, or situations to avoid.

The Reticular Activiating System in our brain is designed to focus on only seeing things in the environment that fit our beliefs, and ignore what doesn't.

So by asking "what if it's not", it's like taking off the blinders you have been wearing that you think are keeping you safe.

If you want to move out of survival mode and in to purposeful living, healing, and creating, start asking more of the question, "What if it's not?"

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode #97- Top 3 Things To Do if you have Chronic Pain Jun 12, 2022

There's a lot of information out there if you have chronic pain!

So in this episode I wanted to simplify the three main concepts that I have found most important in getting out of chronic pain or disease.

1-Detective for the Opposite- This is the best place to start, by changing what you focus on

2-Understanding and Regulating the Nervous System- Notice when your body is in a survival state and develop a toolbox to use to regulate. The techniques can be top-down (thought based), or bottom-up (somatic).

3-Compassion- Self compassion in the process can be the most challenging, but necessary part.

Listen now for more details!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

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Episode #96- Becoming More Satisfied Jun 03, 2022

Get out of living in survival mode and start to regulate your nervous system by becoming more satisfied!

Many of us have an underlying belief that we need to be hard on ourselves to improve. So we train ourselves to look for problems or flaws, rather than feeling satisfied.

But what I want to propose is that feeling more satisfied is actually the best way for you to evolve and grow!

Looking for problems to fix puts us into a survival state, whereas the parasympathetic/calm state (where you feel satisfied) is where the nervous system is regulated.

When the nervous system is regulated, you are more receptive, creative, able to learn, and able to connect with others.

True growth does not come from beating ourselves up or looking for things we dislike in the world and then finding more problems to fix.

When we feel more satisfied and aligned with our true selves, we will be able to move on the path of growth and evolution with less resistance and with more ease.

Plus being satisfied feels so much better in your body!

Listen in to learn about becoming more satisfied!

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Episode#95- Expand/Contract May 18, 2022

Expand- Contract

This is a principle of growth I first learned about from Peter Levine and Trauma Healing.

He talks about how expansion is followed by contraction, and that this is the normal process of growth.

When I found out everyone who had been with me at the Peter Levine retreat had a week of contraction when we came back to real life, I started noticing this principle other places.

With chronic pain this principle can be called “symptom imperative” (Sarno) or “extinction bursts” (Alan Gordon). Basically when you start healing, there can be a flare up or a new symptom that shows up.

The Upper Limit Problem, as described by Gay Hendricks in “The Big Leap” is an example of how we may sabotage ourselves when we reach levels of success that are uncomfortable for us.

There is a way of stretching in Physical therapy, called contract-relax. And yin yoga is a restorative yoga.

There are many examples of expansion and contraction as a normal way of growing, so be compassionate with yourself along this journey when there are natural ups and downs!

Listen here to learn more!

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 95, Expand, Contract. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become unstoppable body and mind. Hello, my loves. In this episode, I talk about this principle of expand and contract.
I first really started learning about this with the nervous system healing and Peter Levine, he's a somatic practitioner and he uses this small toy ball that as you pull it apart, it expands into a bigger ball. It's called a Hoberman sphere. And so you can Google that if you want to see what that is.
But he talks about nervous system healing, that as you expand, there's naturally a little bit of contraction, and then there's more expansion and a little bit of contraction. So he talks about that a lot. I actually went to a retreat with Peter Levine for a week and the last couple of days were remarkable.
I felt really, really like some deep issues were resolved and healed, and then the next week I went into freeze. My nervous system got overwhelmed, dysregulated, and I was really hard on myself about it. And then one week later, after the retreat had ended, we had a meetup with the group, and everyone talked about how they experienced their week, and they had all experienced this basically contraction after this big expansion that we'd all grown together and connected, and so much had happened.
And then we went back to our lives and responsibilities and things and our minds and the world, and there was this natural contraction. And so it helped me to see that in real life, to know that this expand contract is really very normal. And I started really noticing it in a lot of different places after that.
So with chronic pain healing, when people first start to learn about how to heal and rewire their brain, you could say, more than heal or regulate their nervous system, there's usually some results, some experience that's positive. And then there can be what they call either the symptom imperative, that's what John Sarno would call it originally. Extinction burst is what they call it in the way out by Alan Gordon.
So just know that your body may try, or your brain and your body, your nervous system, there may be some reaction as the normal pain that you're used to or whatever you're changing, the thought process that you're used to having is changed. Something new may come up to take its place. Another example of this is the upper limit problem.
If you've read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, he talks about as we're evolving and changing, often we'll kind of reach this upper limit of what we're comfortable with, allowing ourselves to have the new title or the riches. Sometimes we just, or the happiness, it doesn't feel safe to us. It doesn't feel good to us.
We don't accept it. And so we start a fight. We have an accident.
There's something that happens that brings us back down to the amount of suffering and misery that we're used to. So one of the things I talk about in Alignment Academy in my course is actually allowing positive emotion because it sounds like that should be easy for us because it is, it should be easy for us. It should be our natural state, but it's not what we're taught.
It's not how we've conditioned our nervous system. And so it doesn't just give up easily if it feels there might be a threat. In physical therapy, there's a concept called contract relax, where we're working on increasing range of motion.
So we're working on, again, expanding, but what we do is have the patient contract. So if I was trying to stretch the shoulder, for example, I'd have them push up against me and then relax as I took their shoulder back further into the stretch. So that principle, again, reminded me of this concept as well in yoga.
There's a whole form of yoga, yin yoga, that's a restorative yoga. So we're not always meant to just push and do high power vinyasa flows. We're also meant to restore and regenerate and rejuvenate the body through the practice of yin yoga and through even yoga.
Nidra is a sleeping yoga. So although we're not taught about that in our current society, this is ancient wisdom of how to keep our body regulated and healthy. Often in life, you'll see seasons and times of things of work and rest.
And even with my son, my 18 year old, he's been working on working out. And so he's been trying to build his muscles and he gives himself rest days because that's actually better for building your muscles. And he alternates muscle groups.
So he's not working out the same muscles day after day. He's resting certain ones and working out others. He's actually bulking and cutting.
So with his food, he was very, very restrictive at first. And then it was weird to me because I've never dieted this way, but he started bulking. So he was eating whatever he wanted in these massive amounts.
And then he started cutting again. And the whole time he's getting more and more muscular. So I don't understand any of that.
But again, it just goes to show that we're not meant to steadily push and grow and expand. There's kind of these growth and rest periods. In fact, I just saw a video of a ball being released onto a surface that was just flat and then rolled back to the other side versus a ball being released on a surface that had a slight curve up and down.
And then as it got to the other side and went back, it had more momentum because as it goes up the hill and down, it kind of gathers this speed. So the contrast is part of life for us. If you think of us as energy, energy is moving.
There's a vibration to it. So we're not meant to stay still. We're not meant to just constantly expand.
We are meant to expand and contract. Think of a child that is going through a growth spurt or maybe a teenager, they need a lot of rest. And if you look up this concept called cognitive dissonance, so cognitive dissonance is when you are learning something new that contrasts, that is different than what you have previously believed.
And your brain is holding two opposing beliefs. And that is actually psychologically, physiologically and emotionally draining for your brain. So there's actual like physical tiredness from learning these new things, from developing, from growing, you know, your thought capacity, your emotional capacity and your spiritual capacity.
So all I'm saying here is that all of this rewiring the brain does take energy and to be super kind and gentle with yourself. If you do notice yourself needing some rest or needing more rest or really breaking away from some of those beliefs that you've been conditioned to believe that you need to be working all the time, because as we look around and see many, many, many examples around us, that it makes sense that we have times that we grow and times that we rest and times that we restore. If you are looking for a way to apply this in your life and you wanna coach, I'm so excited to announce my new monthly membership program.
For a low monthly price, you will get a weekly group coaching call with me, and there will be recordings available of the calls if you wanna listen back on your own time and hear other people being coached. There'll be a private podcast for that, as well as a private Facebook group where you can write in about your celebrations or receive written coaching. You'll have access to all of the modules that I use in my group coaching program, Alignment Academy, that you can watch on your own time, and an app like Netflix that you can have to access different meditations and lessons and workbooks.
So no matter what your learning style, I've got you covered. Here's a testimonial from one of my clients that's been in my group coaching program for about three months. Hi, Betsy.
I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything I've learned through your program. I get overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude when I think of the skills you've given me and the quality of life I've been able to return to. I was hopeless and discouraged before starting your program, and now everything has changed for me.
I'm doing the things I love again and stepping into the genuine, authentic me. Just wanted to let you know how grateful I am for the work you're doing. It's truly life-changing.
These kind of results are common. Another one from my group was having pain with running when she began the program. And this week finished a triathlon that she wanted to do without pain.
If this is calling to you, check the show notes for more information about the program and how to sign up. All right, you guys have a great week. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #94- Acute Back Pain May 04, 2022

This episode is all about what I did (and thought) when I had a sudden incidence of severe back pain a few days ago.

I talk about kinesiotape, how to handle a new pain, and all of the ways I could see it was neuroplastic despite feeling real.

Right after my back pain ended, I got sick. So I talk to you about the judgement of myself I had with that more than the back pain.

All in all, I am glad to be on the other side of it! But I learned a lot!

If you ever wonder what to do with a new pain or symptom, this episode is for you!

Link to video about taping my back: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CcvgnqjALZb/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

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Episode #93- How I Cured My Incontinence Apr 30, 2022

I wanted to share this episode about the techniques I have found helpful in getting rid of my urinary incontinence.

As well, you can see the process of my journey- being curious, open to information, taking what worked for me, and being open to my own inspiration for new ideas.

For me, there were a combination of physical and mental techniques I used to get this result.

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 93, How I Cured My Incontinence. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind.
Hello, my loves. This is going to be an episode that I've been wanting to do for a while, but haven't felt totally comfortable with, but I think it's very, very important. I do want to let you know in advance that I will be talking about female anatomy and female incontinence, which is urinary incontinence.
And if this is not calling to you, it might not be an episode that interests you. But incontinence does affect the majority of women. There can be different kinds.
Urge incontinence is when you have the urge to go suddenly and you don't make it to the bathroom in time. And there's also stress incontinence, which is with like jumping or sneezing or running with impact. So it's actually very, very common, and there's not much done to treat it.
And what's typically suggested for incontinence is to strengthen the pelvic floor doing Kegels, so contracting the pelvic floor muscles. But one of the problems is that some of the incontinence can actually be caused from the muscles being chronically too tight, too much tone. So I had both types of incontinence, and sometimes in my life, it was worse than others, which actually makes sense now that I know about the emotional component to these physical manifestations.
And there were times in my life, I think even before I had kids, I have had four kids, but I think even before that, I had some incontinence with like sneezing or laughing or like falling. And maybe even some urgent continence, too. So I think it is a very common thing with women and something that's not very commonly talked about.
It took me a while, like I said, to even record this podcast. But really, it's not a shameful thing to talk about. It's definitely something that I can help you understand, at least what has helped for me.
And my approach has been kind of a journey of things I was led to and taken little pieces from here and there and what worked for me. But what I teach my clients and I want to offer to you is that you will have your own best answers and trust in that. So if you want to start on this journey of working on this, you can start to open your mind to information on the subject and what sounds good for you to try and how you are drawn to maybe a certain aspect of something and what seems to be working for you.
Just have this attitude of curiosity that you are going to be able to learn from yourself what works best. But I do want to give you what worked for me as an idea, and you can kind of see the process that I went through. So I would say during the time of my divorce, there was a lot going on.
Emotionally, I was very unstable, and I remember experiencing a lot of incontinence at that time. The metaphysical explanation of incontinence, if you read Louise Hay, is emotional overflow, years of controlling emotions. So I do think that that played a part, and at that time, I was also really learning a lot about mind-body.
And so I read in Dr. Sarno's book, The Divided Mind, that genitourinary issues are TMS, or mind-body. So I started getting curious. As I always suggest with my clients, when you start to learn about this approach, just start by getting curious.
Just observe what's already there. So I noticed that I would get a very strong urge to urinate certain times. And it was usually during transitions, when I would be saying goodbye to someone and about to get in my car, when I would be pulling up to the house and about to go inside.
So that was interesting to me. I also noticed I'd had a belief that caffeine made that urgency worse, and that that wasn't always true. And so I started getting curious about that.
So I could see how there were some subconscious thoughts or emotions that seemed to trigger this urge for me to use the restroom when my bladder wasn't even really full. Because I also noticed if the urge went away, then often I wouldn't have to use the restroom for a while. So sometimes I'd have an urge like a wave, and then it would go away, and I wouldn't even really need to urinate for another half hour or hour or something.
So I started getting really, really curious and noticing what was going on. I was drawn to a course from a former PT about pelvic health, and so I learned from her that concept of contracting and actually fully relaxing those muscles. So I learned to combine the contraction and relaxation of the pelvic floor with my breath.
So for example, breathing in, clenching the pelvic floor muscles, and then breathing out, not only relaxing the pelvic floor, but almost like pushing out. And then I did another course by Kim Anami, who taught about the Yoni egg. So she calls it a jade egg, but there can be, mine is a rose quartz egg.
You can get it in different kinds of gemstones. And using the egg in your vagina gives feedback to that area, so you can establish a brain-body connection. And as well, you're able to have some feedback, some resistance, rather than a Kegel, where you're just contracting the muscles with nothing in there to actually squeeze.
So what I did, and this is what worked the best for me, and I think I was inspired to do it. No one directly taught it to me. But being a multitasker at heart, I really like this incorporation, and I feel like it has really helped with the incontinence.
Now, of course, there is the emotional aspect, which I am going to talk a little bit more about later, but just from the physical side, I think that there, you know, maybe there wasn't necessarily a weakness or a overtightness, but I think there was definitely just a lack of connection and a lack of awareness. And so what I do with my practice is I use the egg, it's inserted into the vagina, and then if you imagine the vagina like a tube, like a cylinder, you can divide it into six different sections. There's the right half and the left half.
And that is actually even a good place to start, contracting just the right half of the vagina, just the left half. And I had never heard of trying that before. And so when I did that, it was crazy, because the right side of my pelvic floor didn't contract at all.
Like I had to start with kind of imagining a contraction and then getting stronger and stronger with that. So it was really eye-opening to me that when I'd been doing a Kegel, activating the whole pelvic floor, I missed that awareness that the whole right side was really not even getting activated. So then to further divide into six sections, you would think of the lower third, the middle third, and the top third of the vagina.
So what I did is started combining it with breathing and taking turns contracting each area of the pelvic floor from the vagina. So as I would breathe in, I would contract the right lower section. And then as I would breathe out, I would relax the whole pelvic floor.
And then as I would breathe in, I would contract the left lower section. And then as I breathe out, relax. And then the middle on the right, middle on the left, top right, top left, going through each of the six sections, contracting each little muscle group, connecting it with the breath.
So the reason I think it works for me is because in meditating, the point is to clear the mind, to not have the brain chatter, the stream of conscious thought. And when I'm able to really just connect with the breath and the body and the contraction and the focus on my internal being, then I am not having that resistance and that brain chatter and the monkey mind. And when I do start to notice myself, just like with meditation, because I do it as my meditative practice, as I do start to notice my mind wandering, that's when I try to let that go and return to the breath and the body.
So I would say for me, this kind of evolved, and I wasn't necessarily trying to work on the incontinence, but that was something that I just noticed changed after I'd been meditating. Now, maybe that has to do with the emotional component as well, and so I will tell you about that, because the truth is that I would say my chronic condition of having incontinence is cured, but there are still times that I don't make it to the bathroom in time. I can't believe I just said that on my podcast, but okay, we're all adults here.
It only happens when there's that emotional overflow. It's that cue to me that there's something I'm neglecting within myself. Usually, all it takes is for me to sit down, write down, just start a free flow thought dump and download all my thoughts and just let myself write about whatever I'm feeling emotional about, feel the emotions, and then it's gone.
So it's possible that it's the meditating that has helped calm my nervous system, and that that's why I don't have the incontinence issues as much. So anyway, for whatever reason, all of the things for me, that has been the magic combination. And I'm not saying that it will be for you, but I want you to start to get some ideas from my ideas and from my process of tuning into my body and listening for the next right step.
And I wasn't feeling a lot of compulsion to do it. I was curious. I was playful.
It was like a science experiment. And ultimately, it became just part of my emotional barometer. So I know what's going on subconsciously.
Or you can think about it like in a nervous system state. I know that there's something activated that I need to soothe or pay attention to or just allow. So although this was very personal and vulnerable, it's also just very normal and natural.
And so I wanted to share this with you. The more we understand our bodies and do not fear them, then when these things do come up, you can address them the proper way and they go away. So whether this particular issue is something that you struggle with or not, you can use the same principle of getting very curious, starting to notice what emotionally is going on for you, and starting to trust that you will come across the right resources, that you will have the right inspirations.
You can trust what your body is telling you about what feels like the next best action to take, or maybe it's just to rest and to learn more about your nervous system and calming it overall. And speaking of that, if you are interested in finding out about more tools to understand and calm your nervous system, then be sure and check in the show notes, where I'll have a link where you can receive all four of these modules. They are the modules I created about the nervous system for my group coaching program.
It is some of my favorite work that I've done. And although it is part of my core curriculum, it's something that I wanted to share, because I think it is so valuable. It's about an hour and 20 minutes total for the four modules.
So plan on investing a little bit of time in yourself, if you're drawn to this, to learn more about how to regulate and calm your nervous system more, so that you can be in more of that aligned, parasympathetic calm state, where your inner healer knows what your body needs, where your cells can repair. It's called the rest and digest or the rest and repair state. It's the calm state of your body when you're not activated to fight or flight or freeze or fawn.
You are able to connect to people, be playful. You're able to best use your prefrontal cortex. You're able to learn and receive your creative, your inspired.
That is the parasympathetic calm state. And that is what I teach you about and how to get into more and more and more so that you can reverse your chronic pain, your chronic disease, these chronic conditions that are showing you when you're not in alignment with your true self. And if you're curious about this type of coaching and if it might help you, you can also look in the show notes for a link to a free consult with me.
All right, you guys, have a great day. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me.
Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #92- The FIT Criteria- How to ”Rule- in” Neuroplastic Pain Mar 23, 2022

Here are the FIT Criteria- From Dr Howard Schubiner's book "Unlearn Your Pain".

The FIT Criteria are general ways that neuroplastic pain behaves, that are different than if pain was structural.

You do not have to answer yes to all of these, with just one there is a good chance your pain can be rewired with this method.

When you start proving to yourself that your pain is neuroplastic, you can retrain your brain and nervous system to produce less pain.

Here are Dr Howard Schubiner's FIT Criteria:

FUNCTIONAL: (Symptoms do not fit with known structural conditions)

-Symptoms began without a physical precipitation
-Symptoms persist after an injury has healed (3-6 mo)
-Symptoms are in a distribution pattern that is symmetric
-Symptoms occur on one whole side of the body or occur on half of the face, head, or torso
-Symptoms spread over time to different areas of the body
-Symptoms radiate to the opposite side of the body or down a whole leg or arm
-Symptoms that occur in many different body parts at the same time
-Symptoms that have a quality of tingling, electric, burning, numb, hot or cold

INCONSISTENT: (Symptoms vary in ways that the structural condition would not)

-Symptom shift from one location in the body to another
-Symptoms are more or less depending on the time of day. Or they occur first thing in the morning or in the middle of the night
-Symptoms occur after, but not during, an activity or exercise
-Symptoms occur when one thinks about them or when someone asks about it
-Symptoms occur when stresses increased or one thinks about stressful situations
-Symptoms are minimal or nonexistent when engaged and joyful or distracting activities, such as when on vacation
-Symptoms are minimal or nonexistent after some kind of therapy, such as massage, chiropractic, Reiki, acupuncture, an herbal or vitamin supplement

TRIGGERED: (Symptoms are brought on by stimuli that would not actually cause the symptom physically, but they activate the brain to generate the symptom)

-Symptoms are triggered by things that are not related to the actual symptom, such as foods, smells, sounds, light, computer screens, menses, changes in the weather
-Symptoms are triggered by the anticipation of stress, such as prior to school, work, a doctors visit, a medical test, a visit to a relative, or a social gathering; or during those activities
-Symptoms that are triggered by simply imagining engaging in the triggering activity such as bending over, turning the neck, sitting or standing
-Symptoms that are triggered by light touch or innocuous stimuli, such as the wind or cold

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 92, The Fit Criteria, How to Rule in Neuroplastic Pain. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. Hello, my loves. As you may know, I have been a long time Dr. Howard Schubiner fan.
I have recently been studying his book, Unlearn Your Pain for Book Club, and getting even deeper into what he teaches. And he really talks a lot about how to rule in, how to diagnose, how to understand and really see that your chronic pain is neuroplastic. Just as when you go to the doctor to try to rule in what is going on structurally or physiologically, these are ways of understanding how chronic pain behaves that's different than how it would behave if you had something structural, like cancer or a broken bone or infection.
But the thing about chronic pain is that it's tricky. It feels exactly the same as structural pain because all pain is created in the brain. Dr. Schubiner has been studying mind-body syndrome or neuroplastic pain for decades.
And he has classified the ways of ruling in that your pain can be treated in this way through the FIT criteria. FIT stands for functional, inconsistent and triggered. So I'm going to go over these with you so you can understand and start to look at the characteristics of your pain, becoming the detective for the opposite, like you're building a case that your pain is in fact mind-body, that it is neuroplastic.
It is the kind of pain that can be rewired so that you can get out of chronic pain. Functional means the behavior of the pain is not explainable by known structural conditions. So if your pain began without any physical cause, in other words, there was no injury that you really knew about.
You were doing normal daily activities when the pain occurred. If your pain persists after the normal amount of healing time for injuries, which is conservatively three to six months, if your pain has lasted longer than that period of time, then it's safe to assume that you have some neuroplastic pain, that the acute injury itself has healed. Even broken bones heal within six to 12 weeks.
So knowing that if your pain persists longer than that time, it is because of these neural pathways and habits that your brain has formed that are now causing the pain. Symptoms that are in a symmetric pattern. So maybe beginning on one shoulder and then moving to the other.
If anything is in a mirror image, it is highly suspect that you have neuroplastic pain. If your symptoms occur on the whole side of the body, the whole right side, or half of the face, half of the head, half of the torso, this is a good sign that nothing structural is going on to cause that because you don't have structures, nerves or muscles that just run on one side of the body. Symptoms that spread over time to different parts of the body, symptoms that radiate down the opposite side of the body or a whole arm or leg are not likely from a structural cause.
Symptoms that occur in many different body parts at the same time and symptoms that have the quality of tingling, electric, burning, numb, hot or cold, these are commonly mind body syndrome or neuroplastic pain, especially when there's no evidence of actual nerve damage. On the other hand, Dr. Schubiner does tell stories of people with compressed nerves that also have these symptoms that turned out to be mind body through this approach as they were able to extinguish and get rid of their chronic pain. But especially if there's no evidence of nerve damage and you're having some of those symptoms, hot or cold, electric, buzzing, tingling, it doesn't necessarily mean that a nerve is involved.
Your brain creates those same exact sensations in your body. The next section is I, inconsistent. These symptoms vary in a way that a structural condition would not.
So symptoms that shift from one location in the body to another, either within hours, days or weeks at a time. Symptoms that are more or less intense depending on the time of day or occur first thing in the morning or in the middle of the night. This is due to subconscious brain activity.
Dr. Schubiner is pretty clear that when you're just sleeping and turning, that is not enough to cause significant damage and pain. If you do have some pain, it should go away within a couple of days if there was an actual injury. But he is very doubtful that sleeping causes injuries, that that is usually neuroplastic pain when you wake up with it.
Symptoms that occur after, but not during activity or exercise. So think about this one. If it feels pretty good while you're doing it and hurts afterwards, that is not a sign of a structural injury.
If you were actually causing tissue damage, you would hurt at the time that you're damaging it and you would feel better with rest. Symptoms that occur when one thinks about them or when someone asks about them. This can be very common.
When you start being the observer of your pain, you'll notice sometimes when people ask about it, you talk about it. Or I know for me, when I would even think of drinking coffee, my stomach would grumble. So I knew that my brain had an association with that being a substance that would cause stomach pain for me.
If your symptoms occur with increased stress, or if they occur when thinking about a stressful situation. And if your symptoms are minimal to non-existent when you're engaged in something joyful or distracting, like if you're on vacation or not thinking about the symptoms, this is a very important one. Pain is in the consciousness.
So it's not that you are just good at managing your pain when you're doing something joyful and not feeling it. When you're not feeling it, it's actually not there. So look for those times that maybe sitting is something that bothers you, but when you were sitting watching a movie that you really enjoyed, you didn't even notice the pain for a little bit of time.
Start noticing if distraction ever helps your pain. And then if your symptoms are minimal or non-existent after some kind of therapy, such as massage, chiropractic, reiki, acupuncture, or an herbal or vitamin supplement, those are actually signs that this is neuroplastic. Doing these activities can calm the nervous system, can calm the danger signal and decrease your pain.
Now, none of these mean that the opposite is necessarily true. So if you haven't had a lot of relief from those things, it doesn't mean that your pain is not neuroplastic. But this is more if you have dramatic results where you go from a very severe pain to minimal to nothing at all with a treatment like that, that can be a sign that your brain and nervous system are calming down and producing less pain.
The last section is triggered. This means that the symptoms are brought on by stimuli that would normally not cause physical symptoms, but they activate the brain to generate the symptom. So symptoms that are triggered by things not related to the actual symptoms, such as foods, that even goes for IBS.
He's very clear that foods do not cause pain, smells, sounds, light, computer screens, menses, the hormonal fluctuations with women with their period, changes in the weather. And he says that weather has been shown in research to not increase pain despite what most people think, or if your pain is caused by specific movements. Now, if you want to argue some of these facts, you can probably make a justifiable case by what you've always believed, lots of evidence, what you've been told.
Even some research will corroborate that pain can be worse with some of these things, but it doesn't mean that the pain is worse because of something structural. It can be something that is generated by your brain and that means it's mind-body. That means that it's neuroplastic and can be rewired because the structural nature of these things in themselves should not need to cause chronic pain.
And so sometimes just opening the door, just a crack, so you can start to shine some light in and think maybe it's possible that my period is not affecting my pain as much as I think. And you start to look for examples of the opposite and start to be your own best evidence of how the pain may actually change and that stressful times are worse than others and thinking about it might bring it on. Or sometimes you have the pain when you're not having your period.
So just really starting to be objective and then you usually can find things. All of my clients have always been able to find something that starts to prove to them that their pain is mind, body, that it's this neuroplastic pain, and then they're able to get out of pain because of this change of beliefs. Symptoms that are triggered by the anticipation of stress, such as prior to school, work, a doctor's visit, a medical test, a visit to a relative, or a social gathering, or during those activities.
So anything related to stress and your pain is getting worse, then that is a sign that your pain is neuroplastic. It can be rewired. Symptoms that are triggered by simply imagining, engaging in the triggering activity, such as bending over, turning the neck, sitting or standing.
So this is a great way to actually even diagnose if your pain is neuroplastic, and to start the rewiring process to treat it if it is. So you can listen to migrated exposure meditation. You can get quiet and kind of tune into your body, listen to your body, and imagine yourself doing a painful activity, and just see how your body responds.
And sometimes it will actually respond with some tightening, with some contracting and with some pain. So you can start to imagine yourself doing the pain-free activity with joy, with happiness, with a smile on your face. And that is one way to start rewiring your brain.
Last, under the section of triggered, is symptoms that are triggered by light touch, or symptoms that are triggered by innocuous stimuli, such as the wind or cold. So in general, people with neuroplastic pain are sensitive to touch and light touch, but this is more indicative of a hyperactive nervous system than it is actual pain from structures, because the pain receptors are deeper in the body. You do not have to have all of the fit criteria in order to start believing that your pain is neuroplastic.
Look for any of these that might be true for you and start to be a very objective observer of your beliefs and of your pain. I've had so many conversations with people where I have just introduced the idea that the pain can be coming from these feelings of being trapped, from repressed emotions, from a stressful lifestyle. They start to open their minds to the possibility and within days, their pain is gone.
So become the detective for the opposite. Write down things that surprise you because your brain has a tendency to not acknowledge them or to forget them and keep making the case for yourself that your pain is neuroplastic and can be rewired. If you have been enjoying this podcast, please take a few minutes to rate and review it and to share it with someone you know that might benefit from this information.
Thanks guys, have a good one, bye. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me.
Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Episode #91- Making Peace with Food- with Elle Mace Mar 14, 2022

Today I have a great interview with Elle Mace, who coaches people on making peace with food and their bodies.

I was drawn to her work because of my own journey with dieting, hating my body, developing and eating disorder, and then finding my way to intuitive eating.

The diet culture is based on unworthiness, scarcity and restriction. All of which tend to perpetuate overeating and nervous system dysregulation.

As you start to accept your body and heal your relationship with food, you can reach a place of peace and calm- learning to trust your body.

I am an intuitive eater now and love my body- and it actually seems to be getting better with age! Listen in, especially if you want to heal yourself from obsessing about weight and food.

Check out Elle Mace on Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/iamellemace/

or Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/memyselfher

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

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Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

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Episode #90- The Rest and Repair State Feb 16, 2022

Today I talk about the Parasympathetic/calm state- the nervous system state where our body can rest and repair.

When we are in survival states (Fight/Flight, Freeze/Fawn), we use more energy and compromise the organ systems of the body.

But in the calm/ rest and repair state, we have increased circulation, digestion, and immunity.

We have more activation of the prefrontal cortex- so we are more collected, present and creative.

It is a learning state, and we are more receptive AND intuitive.

This parasympathetic/calm state takes less energy for the body. It is a place of more ease and flow.

Your cells are either in defense mode or repair mode, they can't be both.

So by giving yourself a chance to rest or play, you are "Doing something" very important! You are letting your body heal!

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Transcript- Automatically generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 90, The Rest and Repair State. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. Hello, my loves. I want to talk to you today about the parasympathetic calm state.
You might hear it called rest and repair, rest and digest, rest and reproduce. It's the calm state, the ventral state. Could also call it the window of tolerance or as I've been calling it, alignment.
If you think of a zebra that's out in the wild, when the zebra is being chased, they'll go into a fight or flight, run away. But then when they're not being chased, the zebra will go to a state of relaxation, where it's eating, it's digesting its food, reproducing, playing, resting, and that is the parasympathetic calm state. Now, the problem, the double-edged sword that we have as humans is that we have these powerful brains, these prefrontal cortexes that can think of abstract things and we can think of the future and the past, and that means we can worry constantly.
We can think of the past and regret it. We can think of the future and have concerns about it. And so we can actually keep ourselves constantly in a survival state.
And that's how most of us are living. That's definitely how I was living. As I look back five years ago, and I was either in fight or flight, or freeze or fawn, which are all survival states that I talk about on the Nervous System Basics episode.
And I will continue to talk about a lot because these survival states will actually transform the way your body functions. Using more energy, imagine if you were sprinting versus a slow jog or a walk, your body is functioning differently when you're in survival mode. So the relaxed state is the parasympathetic calm state, and what happens to your body physiologically when you're there.
So in this state, there's increased digestion, increased circulation, increased immunity, increased functioning of the prefrontal cortex, increased oxytocin, the hormone for relation and connections, and increased recovery of the body. So this is the state where your cells are regenerating, that natural part of your body that knows how to heal, like when you get a cut, when you're in the parasympathetic calm state, this is where your body does rest and repair. There's decreased defensiveness.
So when you're not in the survival states, you'll have less defensive posturing, emotions, and that tension in your body that can come when you're going through the world thinking that everything is dangerous. In this state, your nervous system feels relaxed, regulated, and safe. You may feel more connected with others, more creative, playful, present, and curious.
This is where you would think thoughts like, I'm safe, I'm enough, I'm worthy, I deserve this. When you're in this state, you do have an increased capacity to self-regulate. So less of the things around you will bother you when you're in this calm, relaxed state.
You might even think of sometimes in your life that you have felt very excited by life, maybe you're newly in love, and if something happens, like someone cuts you off, you feel more able to deal with it. You are not as upset. And in this state, you'll feel more openhearted and generous and giving.
This is the state where you can come up with ideas. So what I'll often see with my clients is that when they start to regulate more and more, if they have issues around money or around time or around relationships, the more they get regulated and get into this calm state, they start to come up with their own ideas. They start to see things a little differently.
And this is really where the magic happens. I've had so many clients of mine who have time scarcity issues start to think of some clever ways to hire out something or to have something delivered or to just drop altogether the pressure they're putting on themselves about something. This is like the state where when you're in the shower and you have your best ideas, this is the kind of creativity and inspiration you can expect to have more and more of in the parasympathetic calm state.
It's also where you access your intuition. This process that I teach of tuning into yourself, starting to learn these cues from your body and what they mean in different contexts, by doing that, you actually do get into this parasympathetic calm state more and have access to your higher self, to your intuition, to that inner voice that you have. And the more you access that, the stronger it gets.
This calm state actually takes less energy. If you think of the survival states, they're all putting our body into a compromised function of either hyper arousal or shutdown. So getting into this parasympathetic calm state actually benefits your body and mind in so many ways.
Now, for a lot of us, we have ideas about how we should always be doing things. We maybe feel unworthy or that we should be giving more. So if you notice that it's hard for you to calm down and to regulate and to get to a very calm place, that is normal in our society, but maybe you can think of some times in your life where you have felt this peace, where you've shown up with this calm.
And really what's going on for you in those times? What kind of thoughts do you have? And how can you spread this into more and more areas of your life?
When you're not needing to use as much energy to be in those survival states of fear, you open yourself up for more ease and flow in your life. But I will warn you, trying to let yourself relax a lot more may feel uncomfortable at first. I definitely have had a hard time, sometimes in my life, even taking off days of work.
And you would think since I own my own business now and I do my own coaching, I could just take days off whenever I want, but that's even been worse for me at first until I learned about regulating my nervous system more. So I just used to work and work, and the quality of work was not as good. And I was getting burnt out, I was getting exhausted.
So this way of living takes less energy. Your work will be more inspired, more creative, more intuitive, more in tune, and you're giving your body that chance to really rest and repair that it needs. One way that helped me to think of it initially was to think that although I felt like I was doing nothing when I would just take a nap or lay around or just stare out the window, I'm actually doing something.
I'm giving my body that chance to work. Your cells could either be in defense mode or repair mode. They can't be in both.
And so when you're in survival states, you're in defense mode. And when you're regulated, you're in repair mode. So it might seem like you're not doing anything, but below the surface at the cellular level, you really are.
Another quote is that if you don't choose time to rest, then your body will choose it for you. So if you can find these little ways to calm yourself more and more throughout the day, regulate your nervous system, there will be many great results for you. I promise that.
Have a good one, guys. Bye. Now, if you want to learn more about how to regulate your nervous system, how to process emotions, how to process pain, how to rewire your brain, how to make decisions, have boundaries, and have more fun in your life, then I'm happy to announce that I have just the program for you.
Starting February 22nd to 22-22, this is a program all about alignment. And I'm not talking about the alignment that I talked about as a physical therapist for over 20 years. I'm not talking about the physical alignment of your spine and your body, but the alignment of yourself with your body, with your inner self, with the knowledge and power that you have within you that is responsible for healing, that will help you with making decisions and being true to yourself.
Alignment is just getting to that parasympathetic calm state, the ventral state where you are connected, where you are collected, where you are creative, where you are playful. And getting to that state more and more often in your life will result in better healing, increased immunity, decrease of current pain, and more fun in your life, more flow and ease and serendipities. If you have chronic pain or disease, your body has brought you to this point where you probably notice the more you focus on it and try to fix it, the worse things are becoming, the more it's spreading.
The answer is tuning into your body, learning about yourself, learning not only what the real root causes of your pain, but more importantly, what to do now. If you think that possibly life could be easier, that you don't need to work hard all of the time and try to give from an empty cup, please click the link in the show notes and get on my email interest list for six months, working with me in a small group on your personal alignment. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #89- Teaching Your Brain it’s Safe- Interview with Dan Buglio Feb 10, 2022

In this episode, I interview Dan Buglio from “Pain Free You”. He has been doing daily YouTube videos about becoming pain free for almost 3 years, and has over a million views!
He explains chronic pain as “Perceived Danger" pain. The danger isn't real, but the brain PERCEIVES it is, and amplifies or produces pain. Chronic pain is not a sign or true danger, but an issue of misinformation/ bad data.

"If danger is what is feeding this, safety is the solution." We talk all about what this means and how to do it!

Here are some highlights from our discussion:

8:49- Your Brain’s primary job is safety and survival

11:33- What if you don’t yet 100% believe?

13:05- How to teach your brain you are really OK

16:08- Symptom imperatives like anxiety, insomnia

20:26- Principles to reduce pain- Knowledge, Acceptance, Teach Brain it’s Safe

27:22- Don’t believe your thoughts

32:19- Do you push through the pain?

41:38- Insomnia

43:49 Coughing up the phlegm analogy

45:50 Survival states and calming

You can check Dan out on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/c/PainFreeYou

Pain Free You Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PainFreeYouNow/

Thank you Dan!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

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Episode # 88- Nervous System Basics Feb 01, 2022

I am so excited to bring you more information about something that has changed my understanding of somatic work completely- and that is understanding the nervous system.

The nervous system is our body's threat detector, and will put us into survival states which physically effect all systems of the body.

These survival states are helpful if we are being chased by a tiger. But living in fight/flight/freeze or fawn will take it's toll on our body.

We can learn to identify these states by noticing our body's reactions.

Increased heart rate, breathing, tension in the jaw and arms? You are probably in "fight".

Scattered thinking, anxiety, can't sit still, trying to fix, always doing? You are probably in "flight".

Lethargic, confused, dissocaited, space, overwhelmed? You are probably in "freeze".

People pleasing, no boundaries, over apologizing, worried about what others think? You are probably in "fawn".

Getting into a survival state is normal, it is part of growth. But we just want to be able to return to the PARASYMPATHETIC/CALM state as much as possible to give our bodies a chance to rest and repair.

This "VENTRAL" state is also called our window of tolerance. It's where we are calm, collected, connected and creative.

Each time we are triggered into a survival state and return to the window of tolerance, we resolve a little piece of trauma from our past.

Getting into this window of tolerance is our place of alignment- where we can tune into our inner voice and be our best selves.

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

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Episode #87- Chronic Pain and Perfectionism with Dr Andrea Moore Jan 03, 2022

In this Episode, I interview a pain coach and fellow Physical Therapist, Dr Andrea Moore.

We talk about her story with chronic pain and perfectionism, and why it doesn’t work to try and fight the pain.

We often can’t wait to get out of pain. But the frustration and urgency to change are actually what can keep us stuck.

We retrain the brain through acceptance, and allowing what is. As we develop our ability to sit with discomfort, our brain becomes less reactive to the sensations in our body.

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

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Episode #86- Client Success Story: Katrina Ubell’s Journey Healing Chronic Pain and Ending Medication Dec 13, 2021

Today I interview Katrina Ubell- a well known Life Coach, and host of the podcast “Weight Loss For Busy Physicians”.

We recap her healing journey and how understanding the connection with her body and mind helped her cure her chronic pain and get off her medications.

Katrina had a lifelong history of aches and pains, starting with patellafemoral pain in 6th grade. She had sciatica and was wearing an SI joint brace. She had many different pains throughout her body, and was even diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.

Not only did she get out of chronic pain, she was able to get off her medicine for acid reflux, allergies, ocular rosacea and dry eyes.

One thing I really admired about Katrina’s approach, was her curious and playful attitude about her current body beliefs, and what might be possible to change.

Through her work in weight loss coaching, she had developed a relationship with her body based in beliefs, rather than limits.

Through this work in Body and Mind Lifecoaching, she learned even more about how to be in collaboration with her body.

As she learned to trust her body, feel repressed emotions, calm her nervous system, and rewire her brain, she no longer had chronic pain or the need to take her medications.

If you would like to hear more about Katrina Ubell and my work with her, check out my interview on her podcast- Weight Loss for Busy Physicians:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-196-how-i-cured-my-chronic-pain-and-acid-reflux/id1199570390?i=1000494569383

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

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Episode#85- Training Wheels Nov 22, 2021

Training wheels is a concept I came up with, to explain how you may need a little extra support during times of high stress or pain.

And that's ok!

When you are in extreme conditions, there are things you may do to calm your nervous system, that are different than what you might do when you are in a neutral state.

AND if you do some of these comforting things, it ends up way worse if you then beat yourself up, or feel bad you aren't doing all of the "right" things for healing.

Maybe you worked extra and had a stressful week. You might not have meditated or journaled. Or you may have a go-to strategy for feeling better like having a drink or binging on Netflix.

Maybe you have a medication you take when the pain is really bad.

Even if you're doing this work and know strategies to decrease pain, there are times that you aren't in a mental state to do thought work or process emotions.

If you then beat yourself up for "not doing things right", you add so much more pain to an already difficult situation!

I view these comforting activities you choose in a time of high stress or pain, as a child who needs extra support with training wheels while learning to ride a bike.

It's neutral, and it doesn't predict the future of that kid being able to ride without training wheels some day.

Even if the comforting behavior is one you eventually want to change, the best way to change the habit is to accept yourself where you are. (Radical Self Acceptance)

Listen more for this counter-intuitive, but compassionate approach.

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

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Episode#84- When to Seek Medical Advice Nov 10, 2021

This episode was inspired by a question on my Instagram live, and is a very common question with persistent symptoms or when new conditions arise.

When do you seek medical attention?

This podcast is not intended to replace medical advice, and I do believe that there is an important place for the medical system alongside this work.

I get regular check ups and blood work just as I would get an oil change in my car or an update for my phone.

The clients who I work with have also been through the medical system and have tried the suggested treatments for years or sometimes decades. Many of them are Physicians themselves.

But just as there are signs to rule in or out medical conditions, there are clues in the pain's behavior to RULE IN Neural Circuit (NC, or mindbody) issues.

The FIT Criteria (Dr Schubiner) can be used to determine if your pain is behaving like NC (Neural Circuit) pain.

Things like the pain changing locations, hurting after but not during exercise, and increase in pain when talking about the area are signs that your brain is misinterpreting safe signals as dangerous- and activating the same neural circuits of real pain that you feel in your body.

To take a quiz based on the FIT criteria, and determine if you have NC pain- click the link below!

The other thing to consider is looking at the whole person and history of pain and illness. The more of these conditions you've had, the more likely that the pain you are feeling now is also NC pain.

Dr Schubiner says these medical conditions are "Likely NC:"

IBS, Functional dyspepsia, Fibromyalgia, MPS, scoliosis, weak core, tight hamstrings, SI joint dysfunction, piriformis syndrome, leg length discrepancy, TMJ, Chronic fatigue syndrome, tension and migraine headaches, facial pain, small fiber neuropathy, PHN, interstitial cystitis, pelvic floor dysfunction, pudendial neuralgia, vulvodynia, anxiety, depression, PTSD

The next list from Dr Schubiner is "Diseases that are diagnosed as not NC, but are often NC":

Chronic Fatigue, SEID, post-COVID syndrome, Lyme disease, CMV, EBV, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, costo-chondritis, chronic constipation, GERD, SIBO, POTS, Atypical chest pain

Lastly, Dr Schubiner considers these "Not NC":

cancer, HIV, infections like Lyme, Parkinson's, dementia, ALS, Hearing loss, Meniere's disease, Severely ruptured disc or severe arthritis limiting movement

I suggest working along with a Medical team, but do notice with yourself if you are creating a lot of anxiety worrying about symptoms and catastrophizing.

Research shows high catastrophizers are more likely for acute pain to turn chronic, to get new acute pain, and to have a more difficult recovery after surgery.

So check out my episode on the Pain-Fear-Pain cycle if you are feeling some medical anxiety and want to understand more about how your thoughts can amplify pain.

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

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Episode #83- Insomnia Anxiety, Interview with Raina Nov 03, 2021

Today I have a special episode that you will want to listen to if you struggle with sleep!

If you have chronic pain, you may also struggle with insomnia, anxiety, or insomnia anxiety- and this is what Raina helps with. Sleep hygiene is only part of the solution, and may not really help if you are having anxious thoughts all day. Her approach combines thought work with intuitive work- helping you find the techniques that work best for you.

This episode is for you if you are struggling to get to or stay asleep, or feeling anxious around not getting enough sleep.

As I talk with Raina, listen to the ways that processing insomnia anxiety and similar to what I teach with processing chronic pain!

About Raina: Raina struggled with insomnia anxiety for 5 years, sleeping on average between 2-3 hours per night. In addition to treating the medical aspects (guided by my doctor), she decided to tackle the insomnia anxiety that had been spinning out of control head-on. Since 2020, she's been sleeping 6-7 hours a night and can calm the insomnia anxiety when she feels it coming back on. For free lessons and worksheets, join her Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/insomniaanxiety

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

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Episode #82- Parenting and Pain, An Interview with Crystal Oct 18, 2021

How are parenting and rewiring your brain for less pain similar? You may be surprised.

Crystal Haitsma teaches Radical Connection Parenting, in which connection and relationship are valued over behavior modification. Instead of using rewards and punishment to get kids to do what you want, you work on the relationship instead, so they naturally do what you want them to.

She talks a lot about emotional regulation in parenting- for both parent and child. As we learn to process our own thoughts and emotions, we can model this and hold space for our children to do the same. As we develop that secure attachment with them, they are more likely to obey us and listen to us and model our behavior.

This episode is not just for parents. Crystal teaches that as you heal yourself from the inside out, then you heal your parent-child relationship. Which is also the way to heal all relationships in life.

The more compassion you have for yourself, the more compassion you will naturally have for others in your life. So parenting starts with our own inner work.

You can find Crystal on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the.parenting.coach/ or on “The Freedom Moms Podcast”

www.coachcrystal.ca/links

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Episode #81-Graded Exposure Meditation Sep 27, 2021

When someone has chronic pain (more than 3-6 mo, resistant to medical treatment), then the brain processes pain differently. Neural pathways of pain become like habits, and pain can remain even after normal healing time has passed.

But the brain is neuroplastic, and we can train it to produce less pain.

Graded exposure is one technique used in reprocessing pain and rewiring the brain.

Graded exposure is a way to slowly introduce movements back, that are usually associated with pain.

You can have a corrective experience when you try a movement previously associated with pain, but are able to interpret it differently. When you do this over and over, in progressively higher amounts, you rewire to brain to move with safety and without producing pain.

If you have pain with a certain movement, I would suggest you start your graded exposure in your IMAGINATION.

Once you get good at imagining yourself moving without pain, and paired with a joyful or positive emotion, then you will train your brain it is safe. Not dangerous. No pain signals are required.

Here is a 7 min clip of me using this graded exposure technique with a client:

https://youtu.be/lvjpMZx_MIY

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

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Episode #80- Resolving Jane‘s SI Joint Flare Sep 13, 2021

Jane is a former client that has been dealing with a flare going on about 3 months. As well as heart palpitations. Here I coach her about her thoughts and emotions. Then we do some somatic techniques, which got rid of her 5/10 pain. If you have chronic pain, be sure and listen and see how what I tell her can apply to you. Sometimes watching someone else's coaching and drawing parallels, can be even more effective than being coached directly!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

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Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

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Episode #79- Client Success Story: Healing Back Pain With Kathleen Sep 06, 2021

Today's episode is an interview with my client, Kathleen. She is a Physician, Mom, and back pain sufferer for 8 years. Listen to her incredible 12 week journey coaching with me.

Kathleen signed up for coaching and within the first couple of weeks had INCREASED pain and a new symptom. Instinctually she was led to the mind-body approach, but her Doctor brain kept worrying that she was missing something that was physically wrong.

Listen as Kathleen describes her journey from pain, fear, and self doubt, to a life of less stress, increased joy, and no chronic back pain!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

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Episode #78- How Stress and Anxiety Affect the Body Aug 30, 2021

Stress and anxiety are emotions that cause physiological changes in our bodies.

The stress response is very helpful short term, in survival moments. But many of us live in a stressed out state, and constantly feel like we are in survival mode.

Today I talk all about the physiological effects of chronic stress and anxiety on our bodies, including:

Rapid heart rate

Palpitations

Chest pain

Increased risk of high blood pressure and heart disease

Heartburn or acid reflux

Stomach ulcers

Diarrhea or Constipation

Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)

Decreased libido, impotence

For women, irregular, heavier, or more painful periods.

Magnify the physical symptoms of menopause

Tension and Migraine Headaches

Back shoulder neck, body pain, body aches

"Unexplained aches and pains”

Increased risk of Type 2 Diabetes

Sleep disturbances and insomnia

Fatigue

Skin problems like hives and rashes

Chronic cortisol leads to inflammation in the body

Tingling of the hands and feet

Nerve pain

Lightheadedness/Dizziness

Vision problems

Memory problems

Lack of Focus/Concentration

Confusion

Chronic anxiety can mimic conditions like MS, Lyme disease, brain tumors and even seizure disorders (epilepsy)

Stress is based on our perception of danger or inability to cope. It is easy to see why chronic pain increases stress. Plus people with chronic pain are more likely people who place a lot of internal pressure on themselves.

Listen for more details about how stress and anxiety show up physically, and understand how this could be affecting your life.

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

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Episode #77- The Pain Habit - Interview with Drew Coverdale Aug 23, 2021

In this episode I interview Drew Coverdale, a Physiotherapist in Northeast England, and author of the book “The Pain Habit: Your Journey To Recovery”

Drew has intuitively explored various strategies with his PT patients with persistent pain who were not seeing improvements any other way.

He integrates concepts from talk therapy, behavior science, neuroscience and psychology, and has come to view pain as a habit.

He has seen rapid transformations with people, and with others it takes longer. But “Change is possible for persistent pain. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, if you are ready to take the steps.”

Pain is a habit, driven by a stress response. Fear and frustration are the biggest emotions that he sees trigger the stress response, which can then trigger pain.

Pain recovery can start where you are now, in the moment. You can learn to create new, positive habits, instead of the habit of pain.

Changing the habit involves how you think, breathe, move, or feel. Be sure to include the emotional component by rewarding yourself as you do the new habit. That is the fastest way to rewire your brain for habit change.

You can find “The Pain Habit: Your Journey To Recovery” by Drew Coverdale on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Pain-Habit-Journey-Recovery-Discover-ebook/dp/B08KLYSLFG

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

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Episode # 76- Intuition Aug 16, 2021

One common question I get, is how to distinguish if you are feeling intuition vs another strong feeling like fear.

Intuition is something we all have, and that we can develop. When we check in with our body, we are developing a connection with ourselves that will increase our intuition.

In society, you might have gotten messages from society (religion, medicine, education) that you should NOT to trust yourself. Notice if you have resistance to relying more on your intuition, and question that.

You might also resist using your intuition, because you were taught you have to work hard, and there is no easy way.

What I offer, is that using your intuition is going to be a process that helps you connect with your body. And helps you create the results you want in an easier way!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

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Episode #75- Coaching Call Aug 09, 2021

Most episodes I teach a concept or explain a principle. But today you get to hear an actual coaching call, so you can see how to apply these concepts in real life.

Listen in as I coach a client through her beliefs about scarcity around money, and how that creates anxiety and pain in her life.

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

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Episode #74- Client Success Stories Aug 02, 2021

In this Episode I am joined today by 3 former clients, so you can hear first hand how Body and Mind Lifecoaching with me has transformed their lives.

They started with chronic hamstring pain, SI pain, 10+ years of chronic back pain, foot neuropathy, and chronic fatigue.

Now they are all chronic pain free.

They learned:

What kinds of thoughts or feelings were contributing to their physical pain.
Strategies to calm their nervous system, and rewire their brain to produce less pain.
How to identify and reframe thoughts that were causing chronic fight or flight.
How to tune into, and make peace with their bodies.
To understand that when old or new pains come up, it is a message to check in with themselves.
Tools to identify, process, and move through their emotions and physical pain.
Confidence in their ability to handle the unknown in the future.

Curious to see if coaching could help you? This fall I will have a group coaching option available, as well as a few 1:1 spots.

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

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Here is the contact information for:

Martha Doornink - https://www.facebook.com/martha.doornink

Jane Springer- website https://www.janespringer.com/, Facebook https://www.facebook.com/jane.p.springer.9 contact Jane https://www.janespringer.com/contact/

Transcript-Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 74, Client Success Stories. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become unstoppable body and mind. Welcome today. I have three special guests on the show today, people that have coached with me and I am going to talk with them and let them introduce themselves a little bit.
Let's start with Jane. Maybe just introduce yourself a little, what your symptoms were when we met and what drew you to coaching with me.
My name is Jane Springer and I started coaching with you, Betsy, because I had read the book by John Sarno about back pain a while back. And so I was already familiar with his principles. And then I heard you on Katrina Ubell's podcast.
And so from that, that's why I contacted you, but I had had hamstring pain for over a year. And I thought that I had injured it with a trainer, but then it just kept on and on. And I did all kinds of things.
I went to physical therapy, and I did all kinds of remedies. I went to different doctors and they wanted to inject me with stuff. And so I just said no.
And so, I mean, I was open because nothing that I was doing was helping. So that's why I contacted you.
Yeah, that's I think a common thing where you've tried lots of physical treatments and nothing has helped. Okay, great. So Vicki, how about you?
What kind of symptoms did you have when we first talked and what drew you to mind-body coaching?
Yeah, yeah, my name is Vicki Rowe. I'm a pediatrician. And actually tomorrow as my 25th, I'll celebrate 25 years having done private practice.
So, and a lot of my mind-body issues are related to that, that circumstance. But yes, I also learned about you through Katrina Ubell. I was in her Weight Loss for Doctors Only program.
Over about a year ago, I finished when COVID hit. And then my income was kind of taking a hit. So I kind of just laid low out of coaching, listen to her podcast.
And your episode just really, really clicked with me because I just feel like, I got the weight and the eating under control, but I have a couple of pain issues, mostly a neuropathy in one of my feet. And that had caused me a lot of trouble, especially with my call schedule. But the primary thing, I felt like I'd learned to work around that.
But the chronic fatigue was just something that I, just for years and years, could not get a handle on. I felt really good if I'd slept a lot, but I'd seen, done three sleep studies, all kinds of work on that. And so I thought, yeah, this could really help me.
All right, Martha, what about you? What kind of symptoms were you having and what drew you to coaching?
Yeah, so I knew about coaching because I'm a certified health coach as well as a Life Coach School certified coach and a back pain sufferer for 10 or 12 years. And it was getting worse and progressively more life-affecting and life-constraining. I was starting to feel really worried about certainly big things like working out or taxing my body, but even like leaning over to pick up a pencil because my back had gone out so many times with such a minor situation.
And we're retired, so we're a little nomadic, COVID notwithstanding. We have a place in the Napa Valley that we've had for many, many years, and we happened to end up being at that location during the fires last fall. And our old, old house was, I mean, people all around us were burning, and it was truly terrifying.
And I came back from that eight days, we finally left and said, we need to breathe air, we need to go somewhere clear. And when I got to the next location, I was like, wow, even I can tell there is a huge connection here between the fact that I am in full back rest, I cannot move, I'm in dire pain. And I called a medical office that's nearby, and they did inject my back.
And then I spent the rest of that day almost fully asleep. And I just thought, no, this is not a way forward in my life. This is getting worse.
I can see there's a stress connection, a psychology connection here. So being a coach, we're on a common Facebook group. And I have read Dr. Sarno, and this episode led me back to Dr. Sarno, thinking this is it.
This is what's really going on here for me. I have a chiropractor in every location, every port. It only ever works for a few days.
So I had texted you, I emailed you on Facebook for a consultation right as Katrina Ubell, who I listen to every week. That episode had come out. So I was like, okay, this is definitely a confirmation.
I'm going in the right direction. And it was really miraculous. Awesome.
After that, because we started my body coaching right after that.
Yes. And we could talk about that maybe first with you, Martha, because you had quite a quick turnaround. Do you want to talk about some of your quick success that you had?
I feel like I was, yeah, it was kind of a perfect storm of really miraculous, amazing success. And because I was trained in coaching the entire year before, and I had done self coaching scholars as well for a year before that, my self-awareness was definitely in a new place. Hopefully I haven't stopped and I'll continue to grow in that, but it was a combination of self-awareness, being very open to the likelihood that there was a mind-body connection at the foundation of this.
And really, truly for me, believing there is no separation between the mind and the body. This is just one structural system and that it's really very artificial to separate the two. So I was very open to that.
And everything that you and I coached on at the beginning, it was clearly just a bunch of thoughts. And I started actually turning around my belief, that my dad was a doctor. He lived to almost 102.
And because he was elderly for so long, I really remembered him saying, hey, if you want to become weak in your elderly years, just go sit in that chair over there and don't get up. Don't use your body. It was like, no, my body becomes more strong.
Like a weight lifter becomes strong when I use it. I'm getting stronger by using it. So that was a real turnaround for me.
What other kinds of results did you have from coaching? And then we'll talk to the other ladies.
Well, okay, I haven't been. Betsy, this happened within a month of you and I starting coaching.
And the results are not typical. I'm gonna even say that because everyone is on their own path. And I'm just gonna interject just a tiny bit too, Martha, with your story, because I love this.
You kind of alluded to some traumatic things in your childhood and like, I don't really wanna go there and I don't wanna dig that up. And kind of in my own head, I was like, oh yeah, we'll have to go there for this pain to resolve. And you didn't, which is another kind of, not typical result, but it did happen.
And I will say, parenthetically at this time, I haven't been to a chiropractor since last October. That is a miracle for me. I have not had low back pain at all.
I do respect that my body and my brain were very used to handling my stress and my emotional life by putting it out through my body. It continues to try that. I think there's sort of a little whack-a-mole, like get one side fully hammered down, and there's another area that might be trying to come up, but I'm on to it now.
Yeah. Yeah, it can be information.
I use the tools. I know what, I can see what's happening.
If there's specific things that, like specific results that you gain from coaching that you maybe didn't expect.
I did not expect the ease. I believed that it was fully possible that the whole thing was resolvable through the understanding this mind-body connection.
Yeah.
And we know our mind is that powerful. But that really truly, that was not an attempt. That was a legitimate belief on my part.
I truly still feel that way.
Yeah.
I do coaching on my body now because it's so amazing and so dramatic. To me, to understand that I did not have to go back and parse year by year, we're retired now. My life is, I'm well through at 66.
That would be a lot of going back, right? And I didn't have to do that. So that has been amazing to me to realize the power of just understanding the mechanism of the emotional life on the body, and acknowledging that the emotions are there.
Which as a people pleasing person, as a good girl, as a nice person, that doesn't even live on my island normally, right? I had to get a new place to appreciate that.
Oh yeah, that's some good stuff. All right, Jane, what about you with kind of what you learned from coaching, the results that you had with your body?
I had been struggling with this for a year. And when we started diving into the mind-body stuff, I mean, we started talking about things that might be bothering me, what's going on in my mind. And it turned out that I had been obsessing about my coaching business and picking a niche and figuring out what I wanted to do for five years.
And so, my body just decided that it had enough. So, I kept saying, oh, it's the trainer. She just started something really fast and I just injured something.
But then after we started working together, I was learning that I can talk back to my back, to my leg and say, it's okay, it's all right. We got this, you don't have to stress about it. And so, I've gotten so I'll talk to my body.
And then in the middle of when we were coaching, I had a very disturbing and upsetting situation with my sister. And we became estranged and it was not a good situation. And the hamstring pain was gone, but then I was getting SI pain bad, and particularly on one side.
So we explored that, like talking to it and figuring out what's the color and letting go and those kinds of things. And so now I know that if my hamstring or my SI joints or some other thing that all of a sudden pops up in my body, then I say, wait a minute, what's going on? Okay, so there must be something going on.
I'm stressing about something. I'm thinking about something. And it's funny because since we scheduled this, my SI joints, and I haven't talked to my sister in months, and I'm not stressing about that, but we're leaving for North Georgia tomorrow.
And so I've been busy running around, trying to buy all the groceries and pack all the stuff and figure it all out. And so today I was thinking to myself, okay, now we can just calm down about this, and it'll be okay. It'll be okay.
We'll leave tomorrow. And if they have stores up in North Georgia, I'm pretty sure we forget something, it's okay. So I just take a good look at what is going on right now in my brain, what am I stressing about?
And generally, you know, now I can figure it out. I don't automatically assume, oh, I need a Tylenol, or oh, I need a heating pad, or something like that.
And so you don't have chronic pain of any kind, but you have some...
Not anymore. No, it comes and goes.
And then you kind of check in with yourself when you get that pain as kind of a reminder or a red flag.
Yeah. One of the things when coaching with you, you'd say, okay, honey, what's happening? And so I try and say that kind of stuff to myself, like, okay, dear, what's happening now?
And gently and with compassion, instead of like, oh my gosh, it hurts so bad. Why does this have to happen? That kind of thing.
Yes. All right, Vicki, you've had some amazing results with your foot and your fatigue.
Yeah, it's, yeah, definitely beyond, a little beyond what I thought would be possible even. Cool. So yeah, because especially with my foot pain, I, you know, is some one of those things that was just gradually improving after 12 years.
I was like, fine. You know, I just kind of worked my life around it. I just, you know, didn't stand a lot.
I actually have a motor scooter for my hospital rounds. But yeah, even just now I'm to the point where I'm even seeing some improvement, and that has been really huge. But I kind of started out, I think, you know, listening to your podcast for a while before we started coaching was great.
I started, you know, especially doing like, you know, the somatic tracking and the pen vent and some of the things that you've taught. And, you know, doing a little bit of self-study on mind-body stuff, you know, like Dr. Sarno and some things like that. But yeah, I still remember one of the first times I coached, I woke up with a headache, which was really common for me to wake up with headaches.
And usually, I just, it would happen on my days off. And I think it's because as I put, I think I even told you at the time, I would just, well, I slept really hard. And when I sleep hard, you know, then I've got all this tension, residual tension in my head, you know, after 10, 12 hours of sleep.
But once the headache's gone, then I feel pretty good. So I was so used to taking ibuprofen, and I remember you coaching me through the headache. And I, honest to God, have not, I think maybe once in the last nine months, have I taken ibuprofen for a headache.
It's like, I'll just maybe have, you know, if I have one at all when I wake up, I usually can just, you know, knock it out. So I think that gave me the confidence to start tackling some of the other things. Like I had an old SI joint injury that, you know, was still flaring up and I was able to practice on that.
But fatigue seemed, it was harder for me to get my head around that because it wasn't just pain, it was, you know, just emotion. And well, sometimes you're just like, well, maybe I really didn't sleep enough this night, or maybe I did. And so, yeah, so we just basically, as you know, we've done a ton of work on, you know, accepting it, but also not being so fearful.
And for me, a lot of the fight or flight, you know, getting out of fight or flight so that I don't have so much residual exhaustion at the end of my day has been the huge part.
That's such a great thing to point out, right? Like it takes a lot of your resources to be in constant fight or flight. And as a doctor, you kind of thought you had to be in fight or flight all the time to be on your best, just to not miss anything.
Yeah, and that was really probably when I, even when I listened back to the first time I talked with you, I was still like kind of convinced that, well, that's what they train you in med school is, you've got to be just on top of it because a patient, if you make a mistake, you can write a bad prescription or miss a diagnosis. So my way of coping with that was always just to stay like super highly focused. And I think through working with you and then even exploring some other things that ER physicians and with some military people do, how it's like, yeah, maybe your fight or flight is good for two seconds, but then you really got it, even if you're in the middle of a battle, you got to calm it down and relax.
And just that going from hypervigilant to vigilant and trusting that I was actually going to do a better job if I kept just vigilant and kept my parasympathetic nervous system engaged, which as a doctor was good too, because I'm like all about the parasympathetic nervous system and sympathetic nervous system. All of it made so much sense to me from a medical standpoint too.
Yeah, and it made sense cognitively, but then it took some practice to really not be revved up.
Yeah.
So it does take some practice sometimes, and that's totally normal, especially if you've been kind of primed for that anxiety and hypervigilance, like you said.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, and now it's funny because we kind of coached earlier today, so you know this. So I feel like I've gotten better with some of that hypervigilance at work, but now I'm kind of dealing with the anxiety on my days off.
And originally, I was having that. We did a lot of work about the to-do list and accepting just getting a little bit out of fear about the to-do list and trusting. So we did a ton of work on that.
But yeah, now it's, you know, I think just I'm still having that time when I'm not at work. I'm like, oh gosh, what's going to happen? So but I feel more trusting that I feel trusting that I'm going to get there because I feel like we've come through so much else.
Yeah, I think the progress you made with fatigue was so phenomenal because it seemed really impossible for you to believe differently when we started. And I remember how much you argued for, you know, I need this much sleep and how bad it was. Yeah, I didn't get the sleep.
And once you started actually kind of allowing yourself to sleep the amount that you needed to, you actually found you needed less sleep than you thought.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if I had days where I didn't, I, you know, just didn't freak out about it. And I still came home like even a couple of days ago, I came home just, you know, pretty tapped out after it was a good day after vacation.
But I kind of knew what to do. And, you know, I did a lot of, I do a lot of your meditations. And, you know, it kind of helped me to conceptualize my fatigue as I would say, well, it's kind of like a migraine.
It's like, you know, it's and so sometimes, you know, one thing migraine sufferers do is sleep. And sleep a lot of times cures their migraine. So sometimes when I would do the somatic tracking and get into the actual symptoms of the fatigue, there are a lot of times I'll actually fall asleep doing it.
And I'm like, well, that's fine. You know, that's a great way to fall asleep for me. And other times I can let it pass.
And, you know, it's like get to the end of it and look at it much more neutrally than, oh, my gosh, it's a catastrophe. I'm like, so tired. I'm gonna fall asleep driving my car or something.
Right. Yeah, there was kind of this like everything seemed like survival mode or life or death. And just showing your brain that it doesn't have to be in fight or flight all the time.
Yeah.
So good. I'll just open up to any of you to take this leap of faith. Were there some doubts that you had about if this mind body stuff would work?
And maybe what helped you decide to do coaching that might help someone else?
I personally don't want to coach anybody who has zero belief that my body is part of their symptom situation and their pain situation. So if they have zero, no. But if someone has even 10 or 20 percent of an open mind, that yes, that amount, even if they have a diagnosis in their hand, if they also reserve the possibility that the mind-body component could be in play, this is pay dirt.
This is where you can really begin to see some resolution that you have not been able to get through other sources.
Yeah, that's such a good point, because I think sometimes people think, well, I have to believe, you know, believing is a huge component of having your pain actually go away. And I have to fully believe and I don't.
So I think just having an open mind and a willingness to that's the possibility that that's what is.
What about you, Jane or Vicki?
Well, I was, you know, to the end of my rope, so to speak. And when I heard you on Katrina's podcast and reminded me about Dr. Sarno, whom I'd read years ago, it clicked all of a sudden, like, I really need to investigate this because everything else has not worked. And I'd much rather work on my brain than get injected or take medicine or anything like that.
So I would encourage anybody to at least be open to the idea that there is a connection and that it's worth exploring.
Yeah. With Vicki, do you have any comments on that?
You know, I kind of felt like I was ready to roll like after listening to your podcasts and everything, and just, you know, doing some self study, I think just because I'd seen so much of it, even in pediatrics, you know, it's definitely not an area that I'm trained in is, you know, pain management. But, you know, just having seen for years and years, you know, just with myself and my patients, you know, how much, you know, biofeedback, desensitization, things like that help. And I was kind of ready, you know, I'm like, hey, you know, this is like, after all the money I've spent on, you know, my deductible for, you know, different orthotics for my shoes and, you know, tens units and, you know, CPAP, I even did CPAP for a while, even though my sleep studies didn't even actually show significant sleep apnea.
I tried CPAP and that didn't work. So, yeah, I'm like, and even just like, you know, seeing if, okay, maybe there's some vitamin things that, you know, maybe there's something like that out there. But yeah, when I think of how little money I have spent on any of that in the last year, I was like, okay, that definitely was a good investment, you know.
Yeah.
And same thing with like doing the weight loss. I kind of learned that through the weight loss coaching too, that it's like, okay, it's an investment, but I look at it as the semester I never had in medical school. And, you know, it's just stuff I really need to learn for myself and my patients.
So that kind of motivated me. So yeah, so I was pretty sure I would get results. I just wasn't exactly sure what it would be, but it's, you know, definitely has exceeded expectations.
Oh, fantastic. Yeah. Amazing.
All right. What was it like for you to work with me? My ears are burning.
No. But as far as did you, what was the atmosphere like? Did you feel supported?
What was it like? Martha, do you want to start?
I so admire your light approach. You have a very light-hearted approach. I always felt completely supported and contained safely.
So let's just start there. And that was really quite a good start out of the gate, right?
But then the sense of your humor and your light-heartedness and your warmth really comes through when you coach. And I think when we're talking about people who are having pain and dealing with painful emotions and things they haven't acknowledged or confronted maybe yet or are processing, very, very, very helpful. Really, really helpful.
Thank you. Yeah, that is beautiful to hear. I know you said after, I think after our consult, you said, I can already feel you holding space for me, which was such a cool, cool compliment.
Jane.
I mean, I totally agree with Martha. I think it was kind of your gentle spirit that, you know, all these things that I've been obsessing about and the thing that I went through with my family member, it was very painful and not just physically, but emotionally. And I just felt really very much supported.
And, you know, you even helped me see the other side too. And I just think that you have a very healing kind of spirit.
So that was what my big takeaway about coaching with you was, no matter what kind of condition, how much pain I was in or what I was going through, that you were supporting me, supportive.
Thank you so much. Vicki, darling.
Well, I think as you guys, the other two are saying, you're dealing with someone that's in quite a bit of physical and emotional pain. So I think just really being able to empathize without just saying like, yeah, you're right. Your life's awful.
That's terrible. Get out of that. You would listen and then be like, okay.
I still remember you saying, you'll go, okay, we can make a case for that.
It starts to kind of poke holes in things. And sometimes it's still, even after a session, I'd have to kind of go back and be like, okay, what do I really believe? And as you know, sometimes I couldn't come up with a thought right there on the call, but after a few days, I'd be like, okay, I think I've got a new thought that will help me through this thought model.
So yeah, so that kind of really like in-depth supportive coaching, I think has been huge for me. And I have gone back into the group, you know, kind of the group setting too, to continue to work on doctor things and eating and stuff like that. But yeah, this was definitely, you know, definitely a good piece of it for me was working with you.
Amazing.
You know how they say, a very famous coach has said her first coach, she would tell her first coach, you think you live in New York City, but you actually live in my head. So I have to say, there is a good Betsy tape in my head where I can hear you saying, no, that is just a thought.
Good. I'm glad to have that lasting effect on you too. What did you think about the frequency having weekly sessions?
Martha?
Yeah. Well, you know, because my physical pain resolved so unexpectedly early, to my expectation it was early, and I think it was kind of early anyway, we were able to move on to other components of coaching for me that anyone would need continued coaching on relationships. Probably that was the main focus that we worked on and continued to work on.
But I found having the luxury of one-on-one coach for an hour every week really kept me on track with my own work in between. It may not have looked like that to you, but I feel like we covered a lot of ground.
Yeah, no, you did great work. I think I covered a lot. No, yeah, I do think there's that time and space in between sessions, and sometimes it goes by fast, and you're like, oh, another session already.
But you don't necessarily have to prepare anything or do anything between sessions, yeah?
And what you find out, no, you don't. And what you find out really quickly, even while, for me, I think this is a generally speaking thing, but certainly for me, I would show up at a session thinking at the first moment, I really don't have too much to coach on. Ha ha, watch out, those are the ones where you really will find out you probably have them.
That is the truth.
A bunch of things you haven't been willing to really consider that are on the table that you can benefit from coaching on.
And just cause you get coached on it once doesn't mean it's like a one and done necessarily, so.
Really highlighted the process for me, for sure.
Yeah, oh, great.
Yeah, same for me. You know, some of the sessions would be about the pain and exploring that. But then I knew that I could bring relationship stuff, business, you know, the whole thing about, you know, what I wanted to do with my business.
And we coached on everything. So I think that was a very much of benefit that we had in a whole hour to explore that every week. So I had something every week that I could bring forward to talk about and get coached on.
So your versatility was super helpful because it wasn't all about the mind, body stuff. We could coach on anything.
That is true. And, you know, you too know who are trained as coaches. You know, you can coach on those different things because you're just helping show people their own mind.
And that's what we're trained as coaches to do, is not to necessarily tell them everything to do and walk them through it and be accountability partners. We can surely help with that. But the main thing is just reflecting to you what's going on in your own brain.
And then you can choose if you want to keep those thoughts or not, but at least you know what our thoughts and, you know, what you're doing, how it's affecting your reality. Yeah, Vicki, what do you think?
Yeah, I agree too. Yeah, I feel like sometimes what I would have chosen to coach on the day before would have been totally different than what I did with you. But I think part of the journey is, you know, you teach your clients to self-coach too.
And so sometimes I'd be like, yeah, I kind of made some progress with that issue by myself the day before. And yeah, sometimes it was kind of nice because I felt like I didn't have to be like, be completely ready with the topic and, you know, know exactly what I wanted to coach on. Usually, you know, just talking about how the, you know, what had been going on, what the day was, you know, there was usually plenty of topic to spin off on.
So yeah, so I did like that approach.
The really good thing about the timeframe, because when you're talking about resolving, like really, really making progress and resolving chronic pain, that's been around for a decade or years and years. Yeah. I was very fearful about, and we coached on this a bunch, and you really supported me through this.
What would happen if this happened again? What would happen if twinges, I call them twinges, came up, but they got, you know, worse? Or what would happen if, you know, basically you're looking at success or failure, and you know that it's up to you, and you know that it's something that would be like, okay, my brain is spinning off on something again, and it's causing pain in my body.
Yeah.
But I ended up feeling fully confident, 100% confident that if I do encounter, and I will, twinges will happen, for sure. They've already happened.
Yeah.
That I would have the skills to deal with it and work with it and contend with it and know what it was. Because the fear, when you don't know what it is, just rolls the whole thing into a full-on, you know, my back is fully out, or the person's foot is, you know, they can't walk or whatever, into a much more serious condition than you're in when you have a twinge.
Yeah, like it starts with that twinge, and then it can be very predictive in this way of like, oh, this is how I throw my back out, and this happens once or twice a year, and it's very predictive, and then it happens. Or it can be that twinge, and then you have that realization, and you use the tools that we worked on, and the twinge goes away, right?
Yeah, and it took time to build the confidence. And so that was you. You helped me through that too.
Yes, yes. What would you have as last remarks or last comments you would say to anyone about coaching with chronic pain, if they're on the fence about if it would benefit them?
I would say to listen to your podcast, keep an open mind. That's what I think is the most important is to just keep an open mind about the possibility that there might be a mind-body connection that can be worked on and corrected without medical intervention. And just keep an open mind and explore, just explore thoughts and feelings and what's going on.
And I think that it's definitely worth spending the time and exploring on.
Yeah, you can always listen to the podcast and see if you kind of resonate with it, if some of that brings true to you, if it kind of draws you in, if listening to the podcast helps you feel a little bit better that day, you know? Yeah, yeah. Vicki?
Yeah, well, I try to convince as many of my, you know, the parents and of my patients that I think would benefit and, you know, family members, you know, I tell them about you. I think a lot of times it's a journey of self-discovery because there is, you know, it is kind of what in medicine, we talk about a diagnosis of exclusion. And in a way, I do think, you know, TMS, mind-body stuff, it is a diagnosis of exclusion.
So, you know, but usually once you've kind of gone through, you know, is it an infection? Is it some tissue injury? Or even if it is tissue injury, we can heal it faster with doing these things.
So, yeah, obviously, since I, you know, strongly recommend it to a lot of my patients, I think it's worth it. And like I said, I really think, you know, just the, not just the health that I gained, but even just the outright money that I've saved has been fantastic. And it is, there is something to be said too for, you know, they say in the Bible, where your treasure is, your heart will be.
So there is something about having put my money into it that I'm like, okay, I am doing this. This is gonna, I am really gonna make the most of this, you know, cause this is where I put some of my life energy is into learning this stuff and coaching.
Yeah.
Amazing. Martha?
Yeah, I totally agree. If you have non-structural pain that you don't feel that you've gotten an adequate answer for or anything definitive as an answer for, or it comes and goes, or you wake up one day and it's nothing and you wake up another day a week later and it's on a 10. That's indicative that it's mind-body pain.
Don't wait. And you will have to be proactive. You will have to have an open mind.
You will have to be willing to put in the time to do the work. And, you know, it's not going to be like getting a pill. You're going to put some effort in here, but so rewarding and so reassuring to understand the connection and to really begin to work with both sides of yourself.
Yeah, more of a kind of healing from the ground up or finding the root cause, but better effects than a pill, too, I would say.
Yeah, no side effects.
No side effects, yeah. Are there any other last comments or questions or things that you'd like to say, ladies?
I guess one, you know, it just, this one just kind of crossed my mind because I was listening to a medical podcast and I think this psychologist has been on Cureable as well. I forget her name. But she does a lot of chronic pain stuff and explained it.
But yeah, and I don't know if you've brought this up on your podcast, but the concept of phantom limb pain really struck a chord with me as far as like understanding that, okay, like even if the body part is not even there, there's all these centers in your brain that are still feeling the pain. So that the pain, like you feel it in the body, but it's really going on in the brain. So that, and then when you kind of discuss some of the work Dr. Sarno did with how many people have just random arthritis or torn meniscus and things like that when you do an MRI, some of them have pain there, some of them don't.
I think just knowing kind of those medical things to me just was a really big convincing.
Right. So helpful because probably when you went to medical school, definitely when I went to physical therapy school, they weren't talking about chronic pain being different than acute pain. It was kind of like pain means there's something structural going on in your body.
For a physical therapist, is there an asymmetry or an imbalance or some structures that are degenerating? It's so physically based. But now they are teaching different things.
I know at least in physical therapy school, I talk to my friend and they talk about central sensitization. And that if your pain is lasting more than about three months, your tissues do heal in that time. So there are predictive neural circuits and these patterns of pain, and they feel like pain, just like phantom limb pain.
What I have heard, what they say, is it feels really like the limb is there. Yes, that's such a good example.
Yeah.
Because I think a lot of times when people actually are feeling the physical pain, they doubt that it could be from anything other than a physical injury.
I think it's really important for people to understand that all kinds of pain, no matter what kind of pain it is, it all starts in the brain.
Right.
Right. Yeah, if you didn't have a brain, you wouldn't feel pain. I mean, that's what brain death is.
All pain is real. It is real pain.
Yes. Yes. Well, and Martha does some coaching on this as well.
So if you have some specific questions or want to reach out to her, I'll have some information about her in the show notes. Do you specialize in a certain area of mind-body coaching, Martha?
I am specializing on back pain.
Yeah. So she is the back pain expert. She goes through it.
And Jane, you're doing some coaching as well, not related to physical chronic pain, but tell us about what you're doing.
No, I do wellness coaching for people with prediabetes and helping them to reverse that because I've been through that myself. I also do some relationship coaching on people who are divorced or later in life and would like to get married again because I've been through that as well. Yeah, so I diversify.
I do a few different things.
Yes, well, it's fun to see you doing those things that light you up and not struggling with the hamstring pain slash niche drama, which we could tell was about the same thing.
Yes, thank you. You encouraged me to go with what lights me up.
And Vicki is a pediatrician, so if you have babies in the area.
If you have babies in the area, more teenagers.
Yeah, yeah. But there might be some changes in the future with the direction that you said you were going as far as being interested in more mental health with those teenagers than prescribing.
So that.
Yes, so many doctors are branching out into coaching and getting out of the traditional medical practice, the turn and burn model of medical practice.
Yeah, there are a lot that are.
Yeah, so many.
Yeah. Well, I do think that's going to be so super helpful with, you know, it is already helpful with the patients you are working with. So.
Well, what an honor.
What a great honor it would be to participate in even a small way in a change, a metamorphosis in how chronic pain is conceived of and how services and help and aid to people who suffer chronic pain gets rewritten, gets recreated. That's kind of my meta goal.
Yes. I mean, it's such a message of hope. Yeah.
Because I think everyone who practices, you know, medicine or whatever it is, coaching therapy, we all want people to feel better. We would love that. And it's hard sometimes when you see people struggling with chronic pain and feel helpless to help them, you know, through the medical system or as a PT.
So it is nice to be able to just offer people that possibility of healing, that hope. And then from there, it can just exceed expectations sometimes. It's amazing.
Well, it has been so great talking to you. It's so fun seeing you all together because none of you have met before.
Thank you so much for having us on.
It is really great.
I appreciate it. And I think this will be really helpful for other people who are interested in coaching and changing their life and seeing what's possible with creating different thoughts and different results. All right.
Thank you.
Have a good rest of your night.
Thanks, Betsy.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review.
And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #73- What You Focus On, You Create More Of Jul 26, 2021

This was a fun episode for me. As much as I love science and research about the power of the mind in healing, I also really like energy, vibrations, and the woo.

Here I make a case for energy, the law of attraction, serendipities, manifesting and magic!!! Be sure and listen, as I explain it scientifically. And make a case for believing in fun and magic to add a little excitement to your life and your healing journey.

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode #73- What You Focus On, You Create More Of.

In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts- to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life. Become unstoppable, body and mind.

Hello my loves. Today I'm excited to share with you a side of me that I don't often show you. There is a part of me that loves science and the scientific explanation and research. And that is mainly what I focus on on this podcast. Because I want people to have an understanding of their pain in a new way that doesn't sound like, really hokey and like a snake oil salesman. It's backed up by science and that is super exciting for me. But there is also part of me that does believe in magic and serendipities and energy and vibrations and the law of attraction. And so the way that I'm going to describe it here is that what you focus on you create more of. And I think I can actually merge some of the woo, some of the spirituality and vibrations and energy and explain it in a quite scientific way.

So listen on in this episode if you're used to just the science part and you've really liked that. And if you're someone like me that gets a little bit excited by manifesting things and thinking of attracting things on purpose, using your thoughts to create your reality in a way that you want. Then hopefully this is an episode that you really resonate with and you can see that there's another side to this work that can be kind of fun and magical and exciting.

Now to start off, I'll say I haven't always been a very intuitive person. I've always been someone that's believed in kind of forces, and even extra sensory perception. And all of those kinds of things really fascinated me in my teenage years. In fact I used to really wish that I was kind of more psychic because I believed in this kind of stuff, but I really didn't think that I had the capacity. I thought it was kind of something that you either had or you didn't. And I was just not really an intuitive person.

Now, a few years back when I started getting into all of this, I was going through quite a few life changes, getting divorced. And that's when my friend from med school told me that ulcerative colitis was psychosomatic. So I was starting all of this work and I got really into the secret and John Sarno and Joe Dispenza kind of all at the same time. In fact, Joe Dispenza's book, Becoming Supernatural, I think I listened to it eight times in a row. I just listened to it over and over and over and almost wanted to absorb all of the knowledge into myself. I also had an awesome friend who believed in all of this kind of stuff as much or more than I did. And he really thought I was magic, and so he helped me see things in my life that were pretty magical. And I started really believing that I was pretty magical too. And all of these serendipities started happening.

During this time I was really learning about how powerful thoughts are and the emotions, the vibrations in our body they create. And at that time in my life I really had a lot of financial strain. So I was working on receiving what was there for me when people would offer things during that time. And I was also practicing working on abundance, which was a little bit interesting. It took a lot of creativity to practice abundance at a time when I didn't feel like I had enough. But by practicing receiving, I always did have enough. And I also started manifesting money. When I was listening to... (I listen to books rather than read them. So especially at that time in my life I was driving around a lot for work.) So I was listening to a lot of books and podcasts, and I think I listened to The Secret two or three times in a row (not as much as Joe Dispenza.)

But when I started really practicing some of those beliefs about money I did start receiving random checks in the mail and it's read in an Australian accent. So it was "chicks in the mayo." I got these "chicks in the mayo" that were from my Pediatrician's office from 2014, an overpayment of $19. And an overpayment here and there, money just started showing up. It was really cool, really crazy. And then a few months later I actually manifest $15,000, which was pretty crazy. Basically it was money that was owed to me for a few years at my work I'd been working five hours more per week than what they had been paying me. And I was just asking and getting curious about how I could earn more money. And when we started investigating at my work they found that they owed me all of this back pay and they actually paid me all of it.

So some amazing things happened when I started practicing abundance and I started to actually receive more and more. I know there are a lot of people that have read or listened to The Secret or watched the movie, and really do not like the law of attraction because of the way they interpreted The Secret and how the law of attraction works. So if you're one of those people and you're still curious about how you can really take your life to the next level and start creating things, then I would recommend that you check out Joe Dispenza. He has such a great way of describing these spiritual, woo things scientifically. And it basically has to do with quantum physics.

We know as we start to study smaller and smaller molecules that we are mainly made of energy. And all of the matter around us is actually mainly made of energy even though it looks solid. So everything is vibrating to some degree at this energetic level. And when things are vibrating at the same frequency, then they're a match, like attracts like. If I lost you there and that got a little weird that there's vibrations and like attracts like, then just think of this analogy.

If you are newly in love and you're just feeling that emotion, that excitement and you're driving home and you might notice things differently when you're in that vibration of excited emotion and love. So reality is out there no matter what, but you because of the vibration of being in love might notice the birds sound extremely beautiful today. And the sun is just glistening just right, and there's flowers that you never noticed before. And when someone cuts you off you just kind of smile and wonder why that ever bugged you. Because you're in that vibration, you're attracting to you or you're creating for yourself or what you're interpreting from this big, vast array of reality is what aligns with the vibration that you are in.

Reality is huge and we tend to think that what our brain interprets and what we have thoughts about and the way we think about things is reality. But just imagine the frequency of what we can see. Our eyes can pick up certain frequencies of light and others we cannot perceive with our eyes. But maybe other animals could perceive them, right? Same with sounds like a dog whistle. That's not in our perception of our ears to pick up, but it doesn't mean that that dog whistle doesn't make a sound. It's just not what we're perceiving from reality because that's not part of what we can perceive because it's not vibrationally in our range.

And we know that part of our brain, the reticular activating system, its whole job is to basically filter reality for us. If we have beliefs about certain things, the reticular activating system will find things that back up those beliefs and totally reject or dismiss maybe not even have in your perception that things that don't back up your beliefs are even out there. So even if you don't believe in energy and vibrations and woo and love attraction, then I think I can show you how just by understanding your brain and the way that the reticular activating system works that what you focus on you create more of.

So let's take for example someone who believes that driving is dangerous. So I know someone who believes that driving is dangerous. And so when she gets in the car, she's feeling a little afraid. That's the emotion that it causes for her. Because of that fear I've seen her start to slam on the brakes when the light turns yellow, kind of like preventatively,. "It's turning yellow I'll just slam on the brakes." Or I've also seen this person stop in a roundabout, because the person coming up she thought maybe wasn't going to stop and. So she stopped in the roundabout. With those two examples you can probably see how she's more likely to cause an accident because of the way she's driving out of fear. Right? So she didn't have the thought that driving was dangerous, she might not feel as much fear and do those kind of unexpected driving techniques that actually would be more likely to cause an accident because people are not expecting someone to drive that way.

So it's not necessarily like because she has the thought that driving is dangerous she attracts more accidents to her, but you can see how by having that thought and the feeling it creates she is more likely to act in a way that proves her thoughts true. And often we can find evidence for what we believe is true. Sometimes even conflicting things we can find evidence on either side. Most of us just think that what we're perceiving, what we're thinking is reality.

And so I hope this helps you see that if you have some thoughts, you could be actually creating your own reality. And this is a really good thing to realize because this is where you have a lot of power. A lot of us are focusing our attention on trying to change other people or trying to change situations or trying to change things that are outside of our control. But the area that we have the most control is our own thoughts. And fortunately that's the most powerful thing that we can use to actually change our reality. I love those optical illusions and visual illusions that you can find online to prove to yourself that even though your brain can interpret things one way or see things one way perceive things, it doesn't mean that that is reality. And that opens up a lot of space for us to be exploring and be curious about how we could think differently. And I know this through life coaching there are coaches that coach on business and relationships and weight loss and over-drinking, and all of them do the same thing. They're working on how your thoughts are creating your reality. And it's the very same in this situation when you have chronic pain or chronic disease.

So when we are in a certain vibration or emotion, you can think of a vibration as that emotional state that our body is in. We only have the capacity to perceive things that are in that same vibration. That's another way of thinking of like attracts like or what we focus on we create more of.

Another way to look at it and you might be able to see examples of this in your life is that when we are in a certain vibration we may actually block things that are coming to us. If we feel very unworthy when someone offers to help, we may decline that help and literally not receive from them something because we block it ourselves feeling like we are not deserving of it. Especially in our society, you might have been taught that you're supposed to do things on your own and that it's weak to accept help. And so look for ways that maybe you are also blocking yourself from receiving some of the things that you do want.

So if we think of our thoughts as having vibrations and having energy and being sent out into the universe and finding vibrational matches and attracting things to us, or if we think of our thoughts as kind of a bandwidth of what we have the capacity of seeing and receiving from reality, either way you can see how your thoughts are influential on how you perceive the world and the results that you have in your life right now. Now as humans our main way that we react with our reality is to notice what's around us and the things we don't like. And we focus on the things that we don't like. Often that's what we mainly focus on, right? Because we want to change them. And especially like other people, other situations, we want that all to change and we focus on that. And like what I was just saying, what you focus on you create more of.

So when we are good at noticing things we don't like and we're focusing on things we don't like, we tend to see more and perceive more of those things we don't like. We're on the lookout for them. And with pain this can happen. You become more and more hypervigilant about the pain and it's a normal thing. I'm not criticizing in any way. Of course you're going to be hypervigilant about not wanting pain. But when we step back and look at it as something that we can rewire and change, it's good to see that these patterns that run normally and subconsciously are also not serving us. When someone has pain and focuses a lot on the pain there tends to be a lot of fear around the pain and catastrophizing. And as you know if you've listened to Episode # 69, and if you haven't then you should, there is this Pain-Fear-Pain cycle.

And so having pain that creates fear as a normal response actually causes the brain to create more pain. And so if you've been dealing with pain for months, years, or decades, your brain has been used to creating a lot of this pain. That's what can be rewired so your brain is producing less pain. But where most people start and sometimes even get stuck is in focusing on not wanting the pain. And as I'm talking about in this episode, what you focus on you create more of. So they create more of not wanting the pain. So that might look like going throughout their day looking for the pain, expecting it, thinking I haven't had it, I probably will. This kind of thing always causes it. And of course these are subconscious thoughts, but again the focus is on not wanting the pain, maybe how horrible the pain is, how it's unbearable. I can't stand it. What if this never ends? What if we don't figure this out?

All of these catastrophizing type of thoughts actually cause your brain to produce more pain. So focusing on not wanting pain creates more of you not wanting pain, which means you're still in pain. How do you change that? Sometimes people think, "Well, I'll focus on what I do want." Right? I want to be pain free. I really want to be pain-free, I can't wait until I'm pain free fully. If only I were pain free. Do you see how that still has the same emotion of scarcity of wanting? So wanting to be pain free will create more of wanting to be pain-free meaning you're still in pain. So if the tendency is to desperately want something, you're still coming from that same energy or vibration of lack of scarcity and that will only bring you more lack.

Does that make sense? Okay. So then your brain might be thinking how do I get to pain-free? I don't care about all of these other explanations. I really just want to be pain-free, right? So how do you get there?

I'm going to use the analogy of how I practiced abundance when I was literally borrowing money every month. I started by noticing that my needs were met. So instead of this place of scarcity of legitimately feeling like I needed more money so I didn't have to borrow, I saw that someone was willing to lend me money and my needs were met. And that no matter what since I knew how to practice receiving that my needs would always be met. I knew that I could practice accepting and receiving that help. And so even if my numbers in my bank account didn't show me that I was abundant, I could feel abundant.

I could feel that sensation of gratitude and abundance. And that reminds me, there are a lot of research studies about how when you practice gratitude, having gratitude, writing three things down every day that you're grateful for, you end up having more satisfaction in life and finding more things to be grateful for. So again, what you focus on you create more of. But again back to the analogy, when you practice more abundance, seeing the things that you already have that you're grateful for, then you actually start to see more of those things. You attract more of it into your life or you create more of it for yourself. However you think of it, more of it is there. Maybe it's always there, that's what I would argue. It's always there but we only perceive the things that back up our beliefs.

So what I did with practicing abundance one other thing that I did was I would look for money on the ground. I would see that as a sign from the universe that I was going to be fine. That money was always coming to me, it was easy for me to find money. And it got me really excited because when I saw that penny, I attached the meaning to it that everything is going to be okay in my life with money. I have what I need, my needs are always met. It was like this feeling of trust, this feeling of gratitude, this feeling of abundance. Just finding a penny on the ground, right? So that's a great example of how things can be out there in reality. And because of the meaning that we're attaching to it, we can create these emotions for ourselves that can either really help us or kind of keep us stuck. So to practice abundance I practiced seeing all of the things that I already could feel abundant about.

And I practiced looking out for more things to give me that feeling on purpose. Joe Dispenza talks about a walking meditation where you imagine yourself, your future self and how you might walk and talk and act and dress differently as your future self. So I would do that from a place of abundance. Someone who has oodles of money, where money just doesn't even matter at all. I'm this future rich person and I would imagine myself how I would walk and talk and act. And you could do the very same type of thing with pain. So first of all starting with how can you notice when you are pain-free or have less pain? Sometimes it's going into the body with somatic tracking. Sometimes it's focusing on the positive sensation. Like I have a meditation for both of those two things. The meditation for positive sensation has you focus on something that feels more comfortable in your body or neutral in your body.

So as I talk about being the detective for the opposite, making a case against your pain, looking for the times that you're pain free. Focusing on the enjoyment, the happiness, the excitement that that brings, imagining yourself as this pain-free person. I talk a lot about using your imagination with movement. And when you tie that to an emotion, a powerful emotion like joy or excitement or happiness that rewires your brain even faster. So using your imagination and imagining certain activities that you want to do pain-free. And if you're not able to imagine it pain-free, then that's a very, very good indication to you that your brain is very involved with creating your pain. I mean think about it, if you're not moving at all and you're imagining moving, and you're getting some kind of sensation in that area or even a recreation of your pain, then that's just those neural circuits firing, your brain being protective, thinking that there's really some danger. And you can start to rewire those pathways so that the brain creates less pain with those movements in your imagination and then those movements in real life.

So when you're wanting to manifest or use your thoughts to create the results of being pain-free, you want to come from a place of feeling this emotion of already having it even when all reality or what your mind telling you is that you don't. So every time you're practicing imagining yourself already pain-free or recognizing the things that you're doing with less pain. I've had some clients where in a period of one minute they'll tell me they're not getting better. And then they'll also list several things that they can do now with less pain or that they're taking less medicine.

So what I'm saying is there's a lot of ways to talk about reality, to perceive your reality, and you might feel very justified in believing one way and that could be proven or it's true to you. Or you really feel that and it's strong, but it's also maybe not helping you as much as if you can start to shift your thinking in this other way. And seeing that there are some other signs of reality like you could focus on the less medication and that you're able to do more without pain. And that's what you'll create more of. Just like a gratitude journal when you're looking for things to be grateful for it becomes easier and easier to find those things to be grateful for. When you look for ways that you're doing things with less pain or you're imagining that you can do things with less pain, then you will create more of that in your life.

So I hope this episode gives you something to think about. If you haven't really known about manifesting, law of attraction, energy vibrations, this whole side that I haven't really been talking about, but I really love talking about because like I said, I feel like it adds an element of fun. I have several people that will show me money that they've found on the ground and they'll think of me and they'll text me and they'll say, "Hey, look what I found I thought of you." And so it just adds that little bit of joy to my life knowing that more people are thinking in this purposeful way and using their powerful thoughts to create the reality that they want for themselves.

I wanted to talk about this because I am looking for about 15 people to start a group coaching program with me in September. And the type of people that I want for this group coaching are people that believe in the science and believe in mind, body, and also believe in a little bit of woo and a little bit of magic. So if this especially resonates with you and you want to learn how to combine the powers within you with the science and the evidence that I've been able to accumulate for you, then be sure and get on my mailing list where I will be telling you more about this upcoming group and where you can submit an application. You can email me at info@bodyandmindlifecoach.com and request to be on the mailing list. And I'll make sure you get the information. All right you guys, have a great week. Bye.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Episode #72- Acceptance And Healing Jul 20, 2021

In this episode, I talk about how important acceptance of your pain is.

And not in a resigned way, like accepting you will alway have pain and working on your thoughts.

I am talking about the importance of acceptance as the fastest, easiest way to achieve healing.

Just like you can learn to become more mindful, by accepting your thoughts and feelings. You can also practice acceptance of the sensations you have in the moment. When you can react to pain sensations neutrally, this rewires your brain to create less pain.

Three steps I give to creating more acceptance and healing are

1-Don't blame yourself for the pain

2-Don't catastrophize the pain*

3-Become more Neutral- find an array of ways for you to calm your nervous system, go into, or ignore the pain

*See Episode #69 to know if you are catastrophizing

Listen to find out more about how accepting the pain will help healing.

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

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Episode # 71- Becoming More Mindful Jul 19, 2021

As I have been talking about on the last few episodes, mindfulness and chronic pain are related.

Practicing mindfulness has been shown to decrease stress, improve mental health, increase immunity and decrease insomnia.

Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.

You stop living like everything is an emergency.

By becoming more mindful, you become more aware- of you inner and outer environment (in a non-reactive way).

You become more open- not shoving things like emotions down. And also not exaggerating the emotion.

And you become more accepting- not reacting without thought, or being able to calm and regulate yourself after stress. And most importantly- accepting yourself!!! Accepting your thoughts, your emotions, seeing your humanity, knowing you aren't broken. This is part of mindfulness that can especially help with chronic pain.

Listen for specific strategies to become more mindful in your life!

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Transcript:

“This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 71, Becoming More Mindful. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.

Become Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Hello, my loves. Today, we're going to talk about how to become more mindful. I've had a theme going here the past few episodes about how our thoughts influence our pain.”

Couple episodes ago, we talked about the pain, fear, pain cycle, and about how fear and things like catastrophizing increase the brain's production of pain. So not just pain that's coming from the body that you're feeling and interpreting in your brain, but signals coming from the brain that are felt in the body and felt as real pain. Becoming more mindful has shown to have an inverse effect on pain.

So the more mindful someone is, predictively shows that they will have less pain. And if they are less mindful, they are more likely to catastrophize their pain, have their acute pain turn chronic, even have a slower recovery after surgery, and even more likely to have new acute pain show up. So overall, people who are more mindful have less pain.

Here's a definition of mindfulness that I really liked. Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we're doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what's going on around us. Basically, we stop living like everything's an emergency.

A lot of research has been done around mindfulness and mindfulness meditation and the effects on the brain. I won't go into all of the details, but one area that is of primary interest when we're talking about chronic pain is the amygdala. The amygdala is the center where we process the fight or flight emotions, and this area is also where pain can be generated, where there are descending pain control systems.

More activity in the amygdala means that you're more likely to be in a state of fight or flight or even have chronic pain. But what they've found is people who are more mindful or who go through mindfulness training are able to lower the activity in the amygdala and stay more regulated. There's also more activity in the prefrontal cortex, so the area of our brain that makes logical, rational decisions.

Mindfulness also shows more activity in the prefrontal cortex, which is the area of the brain involved in logical thinking and decision-making. Mindfulness is shown to have positive effects on mental health and the immune system, can help with chronic pain, overcoming insomnia, and with burnout. There will always be stressful situations in the world.

Mindfulness will help you change how you react to those stressful things and help you feel calmer and more in control. So I'm gonna tell you a few general principles of mindfulness, and then some specific ways to practice becoming more mindful. The first step in becoming more mindful is to become more aware.

To become aware of your thoughts, of your feelings, and to become the observer of your mind. Become more aware of your inner and outer environment. And watch your thoughts and feelings without getting attached to them.

The next step in becoming more mindful is to become more open. Try not to push away thoughts or emotions that you're noticing that are uncomfortable. Replace your fear with curiosity.

Become so curious or fascinated about what's going on and how you're feeling. And especially if you have the tendency to want to stifle some of those reactions. Also be on the lookout if you generate excess emotion.

What are you trying to achieve there? Become more open in questioning and observing all of it. The last step is to become more accepting.

More accepting of yourself and others. I think this especially applies to those of us with chronic pain or conditions that have the personality traits that are typical. So people-pleasing, high-achieving, perfectionism, and trying to be good all of the time.

Those types of people, us, me included, we tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves and have a harsh inner critic. So this is the area where you're more accepting of the thoughts of yourself that you don't like. The emotions of yourself that you don't like.

Anything that comes up that you are judging yourself about, be very mindful of that inner critic. It might just sound like background noise if you've been hearing it for a long, long time. It might even be sounding like what your parents or caregivers said to you, and then you've internalized that.

So I'm talking about the, not the inner voice that helps guide you and lead you, I'm talking about the inner critic that might say things like, you're so stupid, I can't believe you did this again, this is just like you, you're never gonna succeed, nobody loves you. That's the kind of stuff that you want to notice and notice that it's there without judging yourself more. So be accepting that it's there, but also not believing it.

Not letting that inner critic actually be what you're listening to and believing. Okay, so now I'm gonna go through a few specific tips, things you can try today or this week to become more mindful. The first one is to meditate.

I started meditating for just three minutes a day when I started. So if you have not been a meditator before, I would suggest just starting with a few minutes per day. Give yourself some time to quiet your mind.

Don't be too concerned if you're not able to keep a quiet and peaceful mind for very long. That is normal. As the thoughts come into your head, just try to let them go, notice them, not react to them.

Maybe return to the breathing. That can always help. So with meditation, it's just a process of connecting with yourself, quieting your mind.

And so you can be so gentle and compassionate with yourself. This is not an area where you'd need to perform or meditate better than anyone else. You can become more mindful by focusing on one thing at a time.

This one is hard for me to admit because I love the idea of being a fabulous multitasker. But the research actually does show that multitasking is less effective. So I have been trying, when I am working on something, and I get an idea for something else, just making a note of it and not actually going to my phone to check it or something like that.

So I'm trying this too. There's part of me that really loves the idea of multitasking. But it is an idea of another way to work on becoming more mindful.

The next tip for promoting mindfulness is to slow down whatever you are doing. If you're eating, if you're drinking your coffee, if you are walking someplace, whatever you're doing, taking time to not rush through it, to be with yourself and your thoughts or your activities. This can help you focus and feel less overwhelmed.

We can become more mindful by limiting what we're consuming. So the time we spend on our computers or phones or listening to the news or reading the news, all of this can tend to overwhelm us with a lot of information. Moving your body increases mindfulness.

So whether it's going for a short walk or doing yoga or just doing some gentle stretches, anything where you're becoming aware of your body's sensations with movement helps develop mindfulness. Sometimes I find people can be very harsh on themselves with exercise, and they can create a lot of anxiety and urgency around exercise. So I would just suggest moving your body in ways that feel good to it.

It might be dancing in your living room or playing fetch with your dog. The last tip for increasing mindfulness that I'll share today is to spend time in nature. Getting outside in nature can help you focus on the present moment.

And you can try, if you're used to listening to music or podcasts, try going without and just focusing on what you're seeing, what you're feeling, and what you're hearing, or any of your other sensations. Now, one thing to be aware of is, as you're noticing more things, you may start to notice more painful things. And that's okay.

This is still progress. You are noticing more, and that can include positive and negative things. When you notice things are painful, try to allow them, be curious about them, go into them with less resistance.

Be so compassionate and kind to yourself in this process. You also may notice that it's difficult feeling good emotions at times. So you may need to work on increasing your capacity for joy.

So think of what you can do this week to start becoming more mindful of yourself and your thoughts and your emotions and your body. Being so neutral or accepting and loving and compassionate of the things you find. All right, you guys, have a great week.

Bye. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me.

Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #70- Mindfulness and Pain Jul 05, 2021

In this episode, I talk about how more mindful people are less likely to pain catastrophize. Which means, they will create less pain from their brain. (Last Episode #69 I talked all about how fear causes the brain to PRODUCE more pain that you feel in the body- The Pain-Fear-Pain Cycle).

This week we dive into understanding mindfulness more by how they measure mindfulness in research.

Here are some statements reflecting low mindfulness:

*I could be experiencing some emotion and not be conscious of it until some time later.

*I break or spill things because of carelessness, not paying attention, or thinking of something else.

*I find it difficult to stay focused on what’s happening in the present.

*I tend to walk quickly to get where I’m going without paying attention to what I experience along the way.

*I tend not to notice feelings of physical tension or discomfort until they really grab my attention.

*I forget a person’s name almost as soon as I’ve been told it for the first time.

Here are some statements reflecting more mindfulness:

*I think before reacting under stressful situations.

*I can calm down soon after experiencing distressing thoughts and impulses.

*I can describe my feelings well.

*I can perceive emotions without reacting to them.

*I am aware of the bodily sensations when I take a bath.

*I can easily talk about my thoughts and opinions.

*I can watch my feelings without getting attached to them.

Listen to find out more about how your thoughts affect your pain!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Transcript:

Episode #70- Mindfulness and Pain

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 70, Mindfulness and Pain. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.

Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. Hello, my loves. Today, we are going to talk about the relationship between mindfulness and pain.

But first, I would like to ask if any of you have been enjoying this podcast and haven't yet gone over to iTunes to give it a rating and review. Please look in the show notes. You can follow the link there, and you can just write a few sentences or what you like about the podcast.

Give it a five-star rating, and that will help the podcast be found by more people and get the message out. I have about 300 or 400 downloads per week. So I know you guys are listening.

There's only about 57 reviews. So those of you that haven't done it yet, it would be really awesome. I'd appreciate it.

And with that being said, let's go ahead and move on to this topic. I've been super excited to learn more about. As I started to do research, I've been learning about what I talked about last week, the pain-fear pain cycle, and how having the reaction of fear to the pain signal will actually amplify the not only perception, but the production of more pain by the brain.

So what they've also found is that people who have more mindfulness, if they're more mindful, they have less pain catastrophizing. So pain catastrophizing I talked about last week. It's one way of looking at how fearful a person is about their pain, how they're perceiving it, how they're thinking about it.

So when people have more pain catastrophizing, that correlates with higher pain, more chances that they'll have a new acute pain, more chances that their acute pain will turn chronic, and even high catastrophizing before surgery predicts longer outcomes and a more difficult recovery. So it's important to look at these kinds of statements that people may think are just true and may say and realize that pain actually is influence by the way we're thinking and talking about our pain. So I want to talk a little bit more about mindfulness and its relation to pain.

People who score as more mindful have less pain intensity, less negative affect, less pain catastrophizing, less pain-related fear, less pain hypervigilance, and less functional disability. So in general, people who are more mindful have less pain. Now, in understanding mindfulness, I found a couple of scales that they use to measure mindfulness, and I'm going to read some of the statements so that you can see if you strongly resonate with some of them or if they're things that you don't think very often.

Just see if they seem familiar to you. They did a lot to me. So here are some statements from the mindfulness scale.

See if you agree with them a lot or just a little. I could be experiencing some emotion and not be conscious of it until sometime later. I break or spill things because of carelessness, not paying attention or thinking of something else.

I find it difficult to stay focused on what's happening in the present. I tend to walk quickly to get where I'm going without paying attention to what I experience along the way. I tend not to notice feelings of physical tension or discomfort unless they really grab my attention.

I forget a person's name almost as soon as I've been told it for the first time. Oh my gosh, that one. All of them so far, but especially that one.

It seems I'm running on automatic without much awareness of what I'm doing. I rush through activities without being really attentive to them. I get so focused on the goal I want to achieve that I lose touch with what I'm doing right now to get there.

I do jobs or tasks automatically without being aware of what I'm doing. I find myself listening to someone with one ear doing something else at the same time. I drive places on automatic pilot and then wonder why I went there.

I find myself preoccupied with the future or the past. I find myself doing things without paying attention. I snack without being aware that I'm eating.

Okay, so do any of those sound like things that describe you sometimes or a lot? That could show that you're not being mindful. I'm talking especially to all those people with chronic pain and disease that, like me, are probably perfectionistic, have a harsh inner critic, people pleasers, want to be good all the time.

So if you find yourself resonating with some of these things, first of all, know that I did with most of them, except for where I drive. Usually I know why I went there. But anyway, this is for your information, and especially just realizing this correlation between mindfulness and pain might not have been something that you've ever been told before or ever known before.

I know that definitely I didn't know about it until I started doing some research. So the other way that they measure mindfulness in a lot of the studies is with the FFMQ, which is the five facet mindfulness questionnaire. And I think this helps understanding what mindfulness is to look at how they measure it.

The five facets that they measure of mindfulness in this questionnaire are observation, which is the way we use our sensory awareness. So what we see or feel or perceive internally and externally, kind of what we focus on. Description, the way we label our experiences of the world, how we express them in words.

Aware actions, which is how we handle a stressful situation. Do we act out of quick judgment or we get out of autopilot quickly? The fourth facet is non-judgmental inner experience.

So that's the inner critic, not letting the inner critic take a toll on our happiness. This happens with self-acceptance and self-compassion. The last facet is non-reactivity.

So detachment from negative thoughts and emotions so we can accept their existence and choose not to react to them. Non-reactivity makes way for emotional resilience and restores mental balance. So these are the five facets of mindfulness that they measure.

And I want to read the statements from this questionnaire and again, see how you relate to some of these statements. See if any of them stand out to you and see if you're surprised by any of them. I know that I was.

So first, I'm going to read the statements that suggest less mindfulness. So something that if you're not as mindful, you might find yourself saying, I criticize myself for having irrational emotions and thoughts. How many of you do that?

I know that's very common with me and the people that I coach. We have irrational emotions and thoughts. We criticize ourselves, a lot of us.

But someone who's more mindful and compassionate towards themselves would not do that. I judge my thoughts as good or bad. I find it difficult to sustain focus.

I don't pay attention to my work as I'm busy daydreaming most of the time. I find it hard to express what I feel and easily distracted. I'm aware that some of my thoughts are not normal, and I know that I shouldn't feel that way.

This is low mindfulness. I find it difficult to describe my body sensations in words. I sometimes feel that I'm not in complete awareness of myself.

So did you find yourself agreeing with some of those statements? Which ones did you agree with strongly or less strongly? So as far as the statements that suggest more mindfulness, I'll read you those now.

While walking, I'm aware of the sensations in my body. I can describe my feelings well. I can perceive emotions without reacting to them.

I'm aware of the bodily sensations when I take a bath. I can easily talk about my thoughts and opinions. I can watch my feelings without getting attached to them.

I can feel how eating and drinking affect my body and mind. I can feel pure sensations like the wind or the sunlight touching my skin. I step back when I catch myself thinking something negative or distressing.

I can pay attention to the clock ticking, birds chirping, and cars passing. I think before reacting under stressful situations. I can calm down soon after experiencing distressing thoughts and impulses.

So here you can see what more of mindfulness might look like, being aware of how the body feels. And I would just say, you know, this isn't geared towards people in chronic pain necessarily, but the pendulum can swing a little far the other way when you're in chronic pain. So be aware if you're very, very hyper aware, hyper vigilant of your body sensations and reacting with fear.

That's not exactly what it's talking about. Maybe are you sensitive to any pleasant sensations in your body? That could be something to work towards.

If you're focusing more on negative sensations, because that's what you have a lot of. Do you notice how when there were emotions, there was not judgment about them? When there were stressful situations, the person is more able to think about what's going on, detach themselves from the reaction.

There's more emotional resilience. I think of mindfulness as being in the present moment. If you are focusing on something in your body, especially in a pleasant or neutral way, you are in the present moment.

That's why the breathing can be such a tool. If you are focusing on the breath, then you can't be thinking about the past or worrying about something in the future. I hope I gave you some things to think about this week with your relationship between mindfulness, being present, experiencing your sensations, and what you're experiencing with your sensation of pain.

Next week, I'm going to be talking about strategies to increase your mindfulness, which will help with decreasing pain. Be sure and get on my email list if you're not already. I'll be sending out Fun Fact Friday weekly research articles relating to healing and the power of thoughts.

And as well, I'll be telling you where I'll be going live and any events coming up. So go ahead and check out my website, bodyandmindlifecoach.com, if you want information or to get on my mailing list. All right, you guys, have a great week.

Bye. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me.

Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Episode #69- The Pain-Fear-Pain Cycle Jun 28, 2021

This episode is all about how fear of pain causes the brain to CREATE more pain- the Pain-Fear-Pain Cycle.

The way you recover from pain depends on how you respond to pain signals in your body.

Many people with chronic pain tend to "catastrophize", or attach greater meaning or significance to pain. There are also physiologic changes in the brain, making chronic pain sufferers more hypersensitive to perceived threats.

These things actually cause the brain to create more pain signals. Real pain that is felt in the body.

How you react to pain makes a difference, so listen today and see how you can learn to rewire your brain!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

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Unstoppable Body and Mind Podcast Transcripts- Episode #69- The Pain-Fear-Pain Cycle:

“This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode number 69, The Pain, Fear, Pain Cycle. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.

Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. Hello, my loves. Today, we are going to talk about how when you react to pain with fear, it actually ends up producing more pain.

Now, if you've just tried listening to this podcast and want to watch it, I am going to be including some pictures and a diagram. So you can watch this podcast with video on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. Look for me, Body and Mind Life Coach.

Okay, so we're going to talk about how fear produces pain. And I like to start with this story about a construction worker who stepped on a nail that went completely through his boot. This is where I'll be showing you a picture.

The nail completely impaled through his boot, and he was in severe pain. He was rushed to the hospital, they gave him morphine, and then they cut off the boot and saw that the nail had completely missed his tissue. It had gone through that space in the toes and had actually not gone through his foot at all.

But the pain that his brain created was real pain. His brain, just like all of ours, did his best to interpret the signals from the environment, and his brain perceived that as dangerous. So pain is in essence an alarm signal, a danger signal.

Any kind of alarm or danger signal perceived in this area of the brain can cause the brain to create pain, real pain, that is felt in the body. Now, in his case, the danger signal was that there was potential injury, that there was a nail through his boot and supposedly his foot. So to stop what he's doing, to remedy the situation, to take care of it, to rest.

But we do know that these alarm signals, these danger signals, can be created from a number of different reasons, including emotions and what we're talking about today, fear. So fear can actually be a danger signal that causes the brain to produce more pain. So just thinking of how your body reacts when you're in fear, you might think of like tightening, you know, kind of hunching over with drawing.

That made sense to me as a physical therapist that the chronic tightness of your muscles is actually going to lead to more pain. I would see this with people who had been in a car accident, for example, and their neck was moved quickly and forcefully, and the muscles around tried to protect by tightening up. Unfortunately, the tightening would cause pain, and then the patient that I would see would be in more pain, which would cause the muscles to tighten up, kind of this vicious cycle.

There is research showing that people that have more fear about pain also report higher perceptions of pain. So your brain becomes hypersensitized when you have chronic pain. It's almost like the brain is always on the lookout for pain- what might happen, and more and more of your brain becomes focused on pain.

The prevention of pain, the avoidance of pain, the fear of pain, and pain starts to consume people's lives. So the brain activity of people who have chronic pain is more active when there is some kind of stimulus. And that could even be a sound that you don't like, like nails on a chalkboard.

People with chronic pain, their brain is more active when they hear something that's unpleasant. It's like their brain is always on guard and hypervigilant for anything that could be perceived as a danger. The perception of pain can be higher with fear.

There was a study where people were given a mild electric shock, and when fearful words or words that were pain-related were said before the shock was given, people did respond with higher perception of pain than they did if the words were just neutral words or even negative words that were not pain-related. And then there has also been a lot of research done showing that the brain actually produces more pain in response to the emotion of fear. One measure of fear that they talk a lot about in pain research is called catastrophizing.

So catastrophizing is something that happens quite normally with people when they've been enduring pain for some time. They tend to magnify or exaggerate the perceived threat or seriousness of pain. There's a lot of pain-related warrior fear and difficulty diverting your attention from the pain.

In research, they'll sometimes group people who are high catastrophizing or they tend to have more of these catastrophizing qualities versus low catastrophizing people. And what they've found is that people who rank higher with catastrophizing also have increased risk of future back pain. People who catastrophized more before surgery were more likely to have post-operative pain and a longer recovery time.

People who catastrophize have a higher risk of their acute pain turning into chronic pain. After whiplash in one study, catastrophizing and fear of movement were significant predictors of both disability and depression. And catastrophizing has been shown to increase people's risks of new acute pain.

Now I'm going to read to you what some of these statements might sound like so you can identify how much you might be catastrophizing. This is from a measurement tool called the Pain Catastrophizing Scale.

And you would rate your response from zero being not at all to four being all of the time.

So think about these statements as I read them. Are these things that run through your head? I worry all the time about whether the pain will end.

I feel like I can't go on. It's terrible, and I think it's never going to get any better. It's awful, and I feel that it overwhelms me.

I feel I can't stand it anymore. I'm afraid the pain will get worse. I keep thinking of other painful events.

I anxiously want the pain to go away. I can't seem to keep it out of my mind. I keep thinking about how much it hurts.

I keep thinking about how badly I want the pain to stop. There's nothing I can do to reduce the intensity of the pain. I wonder whether something serious may happen.

So you can see there are elements of worry about the future, fear, hopelessness, and all of these sentiments and thoughts are predictors that you will have more and more pain. People are more likely to catastrophize their pain if they've seen a parent or a loved one that suffered with chronic pain or illness or health conditions. And we're going to talk a lot next episode about how mindfulness actually helps decrease pain catastrophizing.

Remember the number one way to rewire your brain to produce less pain is when you have the pain signal to react with neutrality, with calm, and actually with a feeling of safety in your body, a visceral somatic feeling that you are safe.

And this sends the message back to your brain that it does not need to worry about this and continue to produce pain.

Now, if you've heard me talk about the thought model we use in coaching, we know that the feelings of fear that we have are coming from our thoughts and beliefs. The fear is not coming from the pain signal in the body itself. We know this because people react very differently to pain signals that they receive. When you have a pain signal, that would be like the circumstance.

A circumstance is just something that happens in reality. So there's a pain signal. And then what's causing the fear is not the pain signal itself, it's the way of thinking about the pain signal, the way you're interpreting it.

So maybe you have a belief that there is some damage, and maybe you've been told that there is damage, and you have a diagnosis. And so when you feel that pain signal, you might even imagine the degeneration or the nerve or the area that they've told you was torn, and you might be thinking of that and creating more meaning behind that pain signal. And we know from neuroscience, the way we react to pain determines if the pain signal will be amplified or minimized.

There's one chart I want to share with you. If you're listening on the podcast, I'll try to include it in the show notes, at least on my website. I'll email it out if you're on my email list, and I did post it in my social media today.

I'm going to describe it as best I can if you're just listening, but look for that figure if it doesn't make sense. Basically, when you have a stimulus of pain, there's a pain experience. And then the chart splits.

It could go one of two ways. If you go to the side where there's a fear of pain, it could lead to avoidance of activity. That leads to disuse, disability, depression, and loops back around to the pain experience again in this cycle where the pain and fear of pain increase the pain experience itself.

On the other hand, when you have the pain experience and you do not react with fear, then there is confrontation and recovery. Confrontation is the period of time where your brain is learning that this pain is not dangerous, maybe the movements that you're thinking are dangerous are not as bad as you think. It's basically showing your brain that it's okay, which teaches it not to continue, to look for the pain, and not to continue to create the pain.

When the pain is experienced and goes down the route of no fear, then that is what leads to recovery. Now, I want to bring this up to you because it is very important to understand how much your fear is relating to the pain that you are feeling. Now, if you are in a lot of current pain, this may seem difficult to just not have fear.

And there are some specific strategies I talk a lot about on my podcast. And if you're struggling with your belief that this is a structural issue that's causing pain, then you should get on a free 60-minute call with me, and we can go through your specific case and really evaluate in your situation if this is work that will help you. All right, my loves, have a great week.

Bye. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me.

Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind."

Episode #68- Therapy vs. Coaching Jun 14, 2021

Do you know how therapy and coaching are different?

In this episode I tell you what therapy and coaching have in common, what their focuses are, and how to determine if therapy or coaching is for you!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

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If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode #67- Words Matter Jun 07, 2021

In this episode I talk all about the importance of the words you use!

Inspired today by this quote by Bruce Lee,

“Don’t speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body is energy and casts spells, that is why it is called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself, and you can change your life. What you’re not changing, you are also choosing.”

We can see how words matter with the placebo effect and how pain is interpreted. There is also power in the words we use to describe ourselves, and limiting beliefs we might have.

Words matter when we talk about our mind, our age, and with pain.

Listen to find out more!

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode #66-You Are Safe Meditation May 31, 2021

This week I give you a short meditation that you can use to increase the feeling of safety in your body.

When you are feeling stressed, anxiety or chronic pain, you are essentially in fight or flight. In this meditation, I help you find the PARASYMPATHETIC state of rest and repair (where your body can heal).

Feeling safe in your body is the number one way to rewire the brain and nervous system to generate less pain. This meditation will help you find a safe place mentally, and create the feeling of safety in the body.

Try and re-create this feeing of safety in your body and mind throughout the day, maybe hundreds of times. You can do this "micro-relaxation" 200-300 times a day to retrain your brain.

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode # 65- Interview with Dr. Howard Schubiner May 24, 2021

Today’s episode is not to be missed!

I interview Dr. Howard Schubiner- a Pioneer, Researcher and Leader in Mind-Body Medicine.

Howard is such a kind and sweet person, and explains pain and neural circuits in a compassionate, scientific, and easy to understand way.

He has developed a protocol for diagnosing neural circuit pain (also called neuroplastic pain, neurogenic pain, TMS, Mind-body Syndrome).

And he trains medical professionals to unlearn what they have been taught, and become aware of the role the brain plays in generating pain.

Today’s episode covers understanding the brain’s role in pain, and how to tell if your pain is a neural circuit disorder.

If you have not yet given my podcast a rating or review, PLEASE do that here:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Join the Body and Mind Life Coach Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/231187234912768

You can find the video of this interview with subtitles there! And this is where I'll be live each week to coach and answer questions!

If you haven't yet seen Dr Schubiner's YouTube videos explaining pain, check out #1 here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSgnFIJKY08&t=242s

Transcript- Automatically generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 65, Interview with Dr. Howard Schubiner. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. Hello, my loves. I have Dr. Howard Schubiner on the program today, which is very awesome.
Hey, Howard.
Hello.
Welcome. And Dr. Schubiner, Howard, he lets us call him, is a pioneer in the mind-body world. You got started working with John Sarno, right?
Back in the day, a bit.
So he's been in the mind-body field for a long time and done a lot of research, currently a professor at Michigan State and has written Unlearn Your Pain, a 28-day process to reprogram your brain and then also unlearn your anxiety and depression. I attended the virtual retreat that you did a couple months ago, and it was for medical professionals to help us understand neural circuit pain, which is either you could call it neurogenic or neuroplastic or TMS or mind-body. And it really, the way that you presented, first of all, how you describe pain, I think is awesome.
And then the criterion you have for determining if something is neural circuit or not, I found so helpful. So maybe we could start by you describing pain, how you would to a patient that comes with you with back pain or something.
Yeah, that's a good place to start. And that's what I do with all my patients. And what I say is that you can't understand pain unless you understand how the brain works.
And then I say, well, the brain works by something called predictive coding. Our brains are designed to keep us safe. And so our brains have these mechanisms for balancing our salt and water intake and keeping us upright and balanced and everything.
But our brain also has this really important danger signal. And if it feels we're in danger, it's going to alert us and alarm us to keep us safe. And that's been going on for hundreds of thousands of years.
It's really good at it. So our brain, and that's one thing. And the second thing is our brain actually generates what we experience.
So we don't see with our eyes, which seems odd. We see with our brain. We see the visual cortex.
Light comes in our eyes, but we don't see anything unless our brain interprets that light and creates the image. And sometimes the images that our brain creates are not what our eyes are actually seeing.
And we even have that spot where the optic nerve connects, that we don't actually have vision, but our brain just fills it in, the blind spot.
That's a great, great point. And with hearing, our ear, our brain creates what we actually hear. And sometimes we hear stuff that's not there.
How many people have heard their name called when someone wasn't calling their name? And what we feel, how many times have people felt their cell phone vibrating in their pocket when it actually wasn't? And so our brain creates what we experience.
And if our brain feels we're in danger, it's going to create something to alarm us and alert us. And our brain has this very interesting quirk that a physical injury can activate pain, but an emotional injury can activate the exact same pain. And the pain is the same because all pain is generated by the brain.
And you can have an injury and not have pain because pain is a decision that the brain makes. So once people understand that, then we can begin to understand, we can begin to explore with them and investigate their situation. And if their brain is creating pain or if their body is generating pain signals or dangerous signals in the body, or if it's a combination of the two.
Yeah, so understanding the brain is so important with pain. All pain is real pain, I've heard you say, and all pain is created in the brain. Even if you have a cut finger, the pain is created in the brain.
Correct. Like you say, all pain is real.
And all pain is real.
So people who have who have pain are not crazy. It's not their fault. It's not because they want the pain.
It's not because they're weak. It's because their brain is generating pain. And why would the brain generate pain?
Well, the brain generates pain because it's afraid of something. There's some fear that's going on, something that started the pain in the first place. Maybe it started with an injury.
So the brain was afraid. And the message was rest and get a cast on your arm or whatever. But sometimes if there's an emotional injury at the same time as the physical injury, the danger signal in the brain doesn't turn off when the injury heals.
So the pain continues and people get the impression, sometimes doctors also get the impression, that the injury didn't heal when in fact the injury did heal because all injuries heal. But the neural circuits causing the pain become persistent. And then people begin to not only, their brain might be afraid of some emotional issue in their life, but maybe the emotional issue in their life passes, and that's not an ongoing problem.
Now the person with pain begins to be afraid of the pain itself. Worried about the pain, frustrated about the pain, focusing on the pain and all of that gives feedback to the brain, that yeah, there's something wrong here, which makes the brain feel more in danger, which makes the pain continue or get worse over time or spread over time.
Yeah, and most people go to their doctor and try to find out what is going on at that site, right? Like if it's their back, they would probably have an x-ray or MRI, and if they find some structural damage, then they have even more evidence, you know, evidence that that's what's causing their pain. But maybe we should talk a little bit about the structural damage and whether that actually causes pain or not, as you said, with injuries that have healed.
Right. Well, structural damage can certainly trigger pain, but a lot of people have abnormalities on an x-ray or MRI and not have structural damage. And this is a little bit hard for people to understand.
It's hard for doctors to understand. There was a recent study where they read people's MRIs of their back in two ways. Half the people got the normal reading, which emphasized all the things that were wrong, and the other half of the people got the enlightened reading, which said, look, a lot of people have these, what Dr. Sarno used to call normal abnormalities.
They have these variations that are due to normal aging. And so bulging disc, facet issues, degenerative disc, all those things are common in people starting in their 30s, 20s and 30s even, and they rise with age, and 80, 90% of people in their 50s and 60s have these, who have no pain. And so these findings are not the cause of pain.
An MRI can show something wrong, like an abscess, a tumor, a fracture. It can show an inflammatory condition, like ankylosing spondylitis. It can show a severely huge bulging disc, herniated disc, that is actually pressing on the nerve.
That can happen. But the vast majority of people with back pain don't have any of those things.
Yeah, they have the normal aging process related abnormalities. Just like you might have wrinkles on your face or gray hairs.
Wait a minute.
People might.
What are you talking about here?
I mean, I don't ever have to cover my gray hair, but...
I always say gray hair doesn't hurt. It's normal.
Unless it's emotionally.
When you look in the mirror, it can hurt.
And that's just a great example of our society and how the way that we interpret the changes in our body makes a difference in how we feel.
I always say that aging, I always say that getting older is inevitable. But aging is a state of mind. So we try to.
Yeah, I believe that. I feel a lot younger than people, some in their 30s that are saying, Oh, getting older, my back's always hurting, you know. Like you're 30.
What?
Yeah, so definitely, I think understanding that structural changes are just normal, and that's not the cause of pain, is so huge, and it's this predictive coding. But what if it's something that just happens, like someone threw their back out? How often is that something structural versus this predictive coding showing up someplace new?
Well, people do get injured, and you can injure yourself by a sudden twist or turn. You can injure yourself by overdoing it. But those injuries are quite mild.
These are soft tissue injuries, and all injuries heal. So a fracture bone heals in six weeks, usually, maybe eight weeks. But a soft tissue injury, like an ankle sprain or a pulled back, is going to heal in a matter of days, a matter of a few weeks at most.
And so what we need to realize is that if the pain persists after the normal healing timeframe, then we have to think, well, it's not just the injury that we're dealing with here.
Yeah, and I think I've heard you say, I think in the conference, you did say something like most acute pain can be a neural circuit pain.
Well, sure. I mean, a lot of times we get a headache. If we have a stressful day, that's a neural circuit pain.
You get a stomach ache if you're worried about something. You can get a neck ache again if you know something's going on at work or something's going on in your family. These are acute pains, but they're neural circuit pains because you didn't injure, you didn't actually injure yourself.
It's easy to figure that out, but it's only easy to figure it out if you're aware of the possibility. Most people are not really aware of the possibility that a neck ache would be caused by stress, as opposed to eye strain or how I'm holding my head or how I slept or things like that.
Yeah, I do. I've seen that a lot with physical therapy, too. People have the expectation that it was because of something they did, how they moved, doing too much.
I hear that a lot. Some of the things you said that were interesting to me, as far as things that are not typically causing pain would even include certain foods. So if people are having certain reactions to foods, that's a predictive pattern from the brain and neural circuit.
Yeah, it's really common that people end up getting afraid of foods or alcohol or whatever, because they may have a reaction. Let's say you're having a stressful day and you're eating broccoli. Well, your brain has just connected broccoli with a stress, or broccoli with the stomach pain that you have from the stress, but you happen to be eating broccoli.
So now your brain is making that association, and then broccoli can easily become a conditioned response. So when you eat broccoli, your brain is turning on pain as a trigger. There's nothing to do with the broccoli itself, but then you think it does, so you avoid broccoli.
And the more you avoid broccoli, the more afraid of broccoli you are. And then even smelling broccoli can start to cause some pain. And then that can spread.
You say, oh, I'm allergic to broccoli. And then, you know, you get stomach pain, and then you blame it on wheat, or you blame it on dairy, or you blame it on, you know, meat. And then it just then that can just spiral.
And I've seen a lot of people who are, have constricted their diet so much, they can only eat a couple foods. And it's really, it's just horrible. They're, you know, they're on what I call the fear food diet.
Yeah, that's got to cause a lot of stress too, which just plays into that cycle.
Yeah.
What are the common, like, GI-related, gastrointestinal-related neural circuit issues? I know you've talked about IBS. Yeah, irritable bowel.
That's the most common one. There's something like 20 million people who have this condition in the US anyway. I do.
I mean, so many people have it. It's part of being human that our gut responds to our emotions. So you can get constipated, you can get diarrhea, you can get bloating, you can get stomach pain.
Another condition they call is functional dyspepsia, which just means stomach pain for no reason. A lot of people suffer with GER, gastrointestinal gastroesophageal reflux. And a lot of people have the symptoms of reflux without actually having reflux when they're studied.
But they call it that, and then they take medication, and sometimes the medication may work, but maybe the medication is working as a placebo, and the reflux isn't actually the problem. Reflux does exist. Some people certainly haven't.
And so there's a variety of symptoms that occur in the abdomen. Of course, all the pelvic pain syndromes. Some people have pain in the pelvic area that have, again, go by a whole variety of names, such as pelvic floor dysfunction, ventral corralgia, interstitial cystitis, vulvodynia, coccidinia, all these names that basically mean you have pain, and we don't know why.
Yeah.
I had a graphic in your presentation that said the percentage of these conditions that are brain-induced, and most of them were 90% to 99% brain-induced, and that was irritable bowel, fibromyalgia, headaches, including migraines.
Anxiety and depression.
Anxiety and depression. That's interesting.
Because anxiety and depression, you can have a medical condition causing anxiety like hyperthyroidism.
Okay.
But the vast majority of people with anxiety don't have medical conditions causing them. They have anxiety, again, produced by the brain, by neural circuits in the brain. Same with depression.
Men with very low testosterone levels can be depressed as a medical condition. Not that common.
Like 1% if it's...
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, wow. And so, same with pelvic pain syndromes.
With back pain, you know, it's funny because people would, when you think about it, you say, okay, neurologists know that almost all headaches are not medical conditions, in the sense that they're not due to some underlying structural problem, like some kind of need in the brain, tumor in the brain, vasculitis, ear disease, sinus disease, tooth disease, et cetera. But with back pain, it's the opposite that everyone thinks. Neurologists will say, yeah, almost all back pain is due to a structural problem.
Well, that doesn't make any sense. It's how can 90, 95, let's say, percent of headaches be due to non-structural problems, and 95% of back pain be due to structural problems, chronic pain?
Right.
It really just doesn't make sense. And we've been studying that. And in our Boulder back pain study, 95% of the people that I evaluated who had back pain for an average of 10 years had nothing wrong with their back.
They had minor abnormalities on MRI, as we discussed. The pain was due to neural circuits. And I'm doing a study now, a larger study.
We're going to have roughly 200 people in the study, consecutive people coming in for chronic back and neck pain. And we're evaluating them in a very careful way, as I've been teaching, as you pointed out. And we're finding that about 85% of them don't have a structural problem.
But it really is, especially since people are getting a lot of treatments on the structures and even surgeries and putting so much emphasis on something that's not working.
Yeah, I know. And the treatment then can, of course, be counterproductive.
Yeah.
It can make people worse because it can be invasive. Yeah. And if it doesn't work, it's frustrating.
And the labeling of the problem is being crippling, being incurable, being, you know, I don't know what we can do, or threatening to have surgery, which scares people like crazy, and just fear piling on top of fear, which obviously makes people worse. Yeah.
I mean, I've heard people being told they have the spine of an 80-year-old, and, you know, and they really, you know, that affects people. They think of themselves in that way after that.
Right. It's hard to not share that after you've COVID. And I've had so many people, you know, repeat to me what they're, some of those words that the doctors have said, like, you know, your back looks like, you know, really crippled.
You may never get better. You will probably have to live with this the rest of your life. These are really scary statements.
Medical cursing. I've heard it called.
Yeah, that's a good...
But as a physical therapist, you know, I understand, like, you try to explain these things as best you can. And it was interesting to me to hear you say things like, you know, the leg length discrepancies, the weak core muscles, the muscular imbalances, joint instability, even inflammation doesn't cause pain.
Right. We are doing a lot of work with teaching physical therapists and people who do manual medicine, like chiropractors and osteopaths. We're doing a lot of work in trying to help them unlearn some of these ideas and concepts that they have been taught are the cause of chronic pain when they're just normal variations.
Yeah.
Inflammation is really an interesting situation because, and I've written about this a bit, but people fail, I think, to distinguish what I would call macro-inflammation from micro-inflammation. Macro-inflammation or localized inflammation can certainly be the cause of pain. Rheumatoid arthritis can cause inflamed joints.
Lupus can cause inflamed joints that can be hot and red and swollen and tender, and you can see them. It's macro-inflammation. Having a strep throat is macro-inflammation.
You can see it, and it clearly trigger pain. On the other hand, micro-inflammation is often blamed for chronic pain because you can't see it. It's supposedly there, and it's true that everyone has micro-inflammation.
There's inflammation in our gums. There's inflammation in our arteries. It's a micro-inflammation, and that inflammation doesn't cause pain.
My gums don't hurt. But yes, there's inflammation there. I have to keep flossing to keep the inflammation down.
But it's there. There's inflammation in our arteries. And that's where another layer of fear tends to come in, where people say you have to fight inflammation, and what they mean is you have to fight micro-inflammation.
And fighting micro-inflammation, for example, by, let's say, meditating, having a healthy diet, going vegan. You know, these are great things. I am all in favor of that.
And maybe it will make your life better. Maybe it will make you live longer. It probably will.
I have no doubt about that. But that has nothing to do with chronic pain. Okay, that's the distinction that I will make.
But, you know, when people get afraid to have potato chips, because it's going to cause inflammation, it's going to cause them pain, then they're back into that pain-fear pain cycle.
So if it's... This is kind of my theory. If it's moderate, like, we're designed as humans, we can withstand a little bit of sugar.
You know, it's not crippling to our system. And like you said, it's... Maybe a potato chip isn't going to cause that inflammation, or we already have inflammation, and so it's, you know, just...
We've been told that we have to avoid these things to avoid this inflammation, to fight it, where we do have the capacity to kind of metabolize a decent amount of...
Well, I do.
I might just be justifying eating candy here, but for me, it makes sense that, you know, unless our diet is purely candy, you know, we can handle some of that.
I agree with that. And it's... And we have to take care of our mental health, too.
Yes. You know, I mean, you know, a piece of cake every now and then is kind of good for birthdays. You know, it's kind of good for our mental health, I think.
And, you know, maybe I'm wrong, but...
Well, I think we all can, right, decide for ourselves. Like, maybe someone is a lot happier not eating sugar, and that feels good to them. But if it doesn't work for you and you're trying to fit into that, then that's going to cause you a little more mental anguish.
And just eat your cake and enjoy it. If you're choosing to eat it, then just love it, enjoy it, savor it.
Yeah. Yeah, someone, one of my patients, gave me a book this week. I think it's called A Boy, A Fox, A Mole, and A Horse.
It's a beautiful, beautiful little book. And it's filled with wisdom. One of the pages, it says something like, is there a school for unlearning?
And I was showing it to my wife and she said, yeah, you have that school, Howard. I mean, that's your school for unlearning, right?
Yeah, it really is.
It has this great stuff in this book. And it's one of the questions they say, well, what do you want to be when you grow up? And the mole says, kind.
And it's just beautiful, right? Anyway, so what made me think of it is the mole, they ask him something like, well, what's your favorite thing in the world? And he goes, cake.
So sweet, so simple, so joyful. Like, I think a lot of us as humans have a hard time even enjoying ourselves, like really being happy. We say all the time that we want to be happy, but do you find that people have a hard time even leaning into those positive emotions?
Only adults.
Adults, yeah, right.
Kids tend not to have a problem with that, but, you know, kids grow up quicker, and, you know, teenagers, skyrocketing rates of anxiety and depression in teenagers, skyrocketing rates of pain in teenagers as we adultify them and put pressure on them, and social media pressure, and all sorts of things. But, you know, part of the treatment of a mind-body disorder or a neurocircuit disorder is to play more. I tell my patients, there's three L's you need to do more of.
Living, loving, and laughing. And how trite and, you know, silly is that? But it's completely true, because that's one of the ways you change the neurocircuits in your brain, out of this pattern of fear and worry and frustration and fighting all the time to a place of joy and ease and grace and calm.
And, you know, we have to live our lives that way. You know, life is too short.
Yeah.
We live at being fearful all the time. And it's not to minimize people's stress and the hardships that so many people go through.
Right. And there is going to be some pain as part of life. But sometimes we don't accept the pleasure either.
We deny ourselves the pleasure, or we think somehow it's dangerous to allow ourselves to be happy.
Yeah.
As far as the history that you find with people, I know that sometimes people have some very traumatic things in their childhood. Other people don't seem to have that. There are definitely personality traits that play into it.
What in your mind are kind of the biggest factors that contribute, other than being a human and having a brain?
Well, your point is very well taken, because all humans get neural circuit pain, all humans have stress, all humans react to it. Our brain is always there as a danger signal, alerting us if there's something that's wrong. But clearly, people who have had childhood trauma, if they had a lot of difficulties in their life, their brain tends to become more sensitive to stress.
And so their danger signal may be set at a more sensitive level, so it may take less stress in them to trigger headaches or back pain or anxiety or fatigue compared to somebody else. And I was just talking to a young woman today who I, you know, we admitted that she's a perfect people pleaser.
Yeah, so many people are, and it's not a bad trait to want to be nice to other people and please other people. But when you take it to such an extreme where you negate yourself and you don't stand up for yourself, that's a disability. And that's something that that's part of the message that her pain is giving her is part of the message and part of the growth and learning that she can do from this and seeing her pain as a gift, really, to help her be a stronger and more confident person, is to start to dial some of that people pleasing back and to practice saying this, you know, what I always say, the magic word that starts with an N and ends with an O and only has two letters can be.
Yeah, that's it's a hard word to say. Sometimes I heard Brene Brown saying, you can just say no without giving an explanation. And that was like impossible for me.
I'm like, I'll at least try to not like make a white lie. But I want to like give some explanation. It's crazy how ingrained that is in me.
Yeah, that's exactly what I was just talking about with her an hour ago. It's just exactly that. You don't have to say, you know, well, I can't because of X, Y, and Z.
You can just say, no, I can't.
Yeah, you have to have that boundary. You have to have that self-care. You have to have that, you know, compassion for yourself and say no.
If you're giving it your own expense.
Yeah, exactly. And so people who have had, you know, trauma in their life often have learned to not be kind to themselves. And so to enhance that is, you know, it's a really important part of the treatment process.
And so the pain is signaling to them. Something's got to change. There's some danger here.
And it's not necessarily the danger of, you know, something that you did too much and you move too much. But you've got to change something else. You can't keep living this way and thinking this way.
It's painful.
Right. Right. So we start, you know, we start the treatment process with a deep and clear understanding of the brain and pain, fatigue, insomnia, depression, anxiety, that the brain is creating these things in everyone at different times, and then investigate their own situation carefully, looking for the details that would rule in or rule out a neural circuit problem.
The last thing we want to do is miss a true structural problem. That's, you know, that's horrible. And occasionally it happens, but we try, you know, so hard to minimize that.
But it's usually not that hard, you know, because people get routine medical testing and they don't find anything. And we can rule in a neural circuit problem by the fact of the characteristics of the situation, the fact that when the pain came on, what was going on in your life, or the fact that did you have these personality traits? Do you have lots of pain in different places?
Have you had lots of these other mind-body type symptoms? And most importantly, does the pain shift from one place to the other? Does the pain move?
Does it turn on and off? Does it go away when you're on vacation? Is it triggered by the wind or by cold or by rain?
Is it triggered by stress? Is it triggered by foods? All these innocuous things that actually show us and the brain is actually showing us, well, look, it's me, I'm doing this.
Oh, I like that way. The brain is showing us that by these patterns.
Exactly. Right. You know, it's, it's, you know, it's in one, one wrist and it goes to the other.
It's well, I, I thought I injured my right wrist, but I didn't do anything to the left wrist. Why did the pain jump over there? He's going like, hello.
Yeah. I mean, as physical therapists, we'd say like, oh, you must be compensating. You know, you're probably just, you're using this wrist more now, or, you know, with the back, we could always say it up and down the line.
Oh, your, your shoulder. Well, your back, you're probably twisting, you know, but it's just your brain.
Yeah, it's so simple. And once you understand this dynamic, now you can't not see that. Once you really understand it.
So I'm working with a physiatrist, a PM&R doctor, great, great guy who went, who's doing standard PM&R practice, seeing tons of back pain, doing tons of injections, thinking it was all structural. And he went to a lecture and the lecture said, you know, there's a mind-body connection here. Look closely.
And he started looking closely. And he's like, wait a minute. The closer I look, the more I see.
It just doesn't add up. He had a great, he had an amazing case the other day, told me about. He had a patient with kind of an older guy who's like a manual laborer, works really hard, you know, been working using his back and his muscles his whole life.
He's got this severe low back pain. It's there all the time. It doesn't vary and never changes, never goes away.
He's got severe spinal stenosis on his MRI. And my friend who is very well aware of the mind body connection thought this was a structural problem. Okay, so the spinal stenosis is causing all these nerve roots to be compressed, supposedly on the MRI, but yet he doesn't have leg pain.
If the nerves are actually compressed, you would expect leg pain, right? Well, he didn't have.
And a certain distribution too, right?
Yes, and a certain distribution, the back of the leg, side of the leg, etc. That's one nerve root, L5. He didn't have any leg pain.
Okay, well, so but then, but he's got these nerve root compressions, so we'll do epidural injections. So he gets three epidural injections twice, doesn't do anything. Okay, so what's with that?
And then he say, well, we'll do these medial branch blocks. So medial branch blocks are injections in the facet joints. Well, the facet joints don't do anything to the nerve roots.
The facet joints have to do with basically arthritis of the spine. So the injections are lidocaine. So the lidocaine is going to go in and it's going to cure the problem if the problem is inflammation in those facet joints.
But it's only going to cure the problem for four to seven hours because the lidocaine is going to wear away, wear off. So this guy gets these facet joints and within an hour, he's fine. He's like totally fine.
Totally fine.
Totally fine, pain gone. So that could be the efficacy of the lidocaine. So the guy comes back to see him a week later.
He's totally fine.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. The lidocaine went off six and a half days ago.
Why are you fine now? And he's like, guess what? This was not a structural problem.
And he still does manual labor, right? He's still doing his job.
Yeah, he's still working.
Yeah, he's fine.
It's been a month now. The guy's fine for the last month. From this one lidocaine injection.
That's a placebo effect.
Yeah. And it's so interesting because it's like, you know, sometimes people hear about this work and they're like, okay, so I have to like, journal every day, and I have to get into my childhood trauma, and I have to like, aren't there just like hundreds of different ways people find that are their own unique answers?
Absolutely. I am very leery of one size fits all.
Yeah.
If you read my books, yeah, there's a program there, but my advice is don't do it.
Don't do all of it.
Pick and choose what you need. But don't get locked into, don't be constrained to feel like you have to do everything, because now you're people-pleasing. Now you're being obsessive and you're increasing fear.
If I don't write every day, my pain will come back. Well, that's not true.
That's the fear energy that's perpetuating your pain.
So, you know, I don't start with the emotional processing work. I do that more toward later. And again, only if people need it, and only to whatever degree they need it.
Yeah, some with just the education, that alone gets rid of their pain. And I've seen this even with someone with childhood trauma that in the course of six months, we never even talked about once, but within four weeks of her learning about her back pain and believing something different, her back pain was gone.
Yeah, I saw a woman yesterday, incredible, horrible, not only childhood trauma, but then incredible trauma from an abusive, severely abusive husband for, I don't know, seven or eight years, something like that. Now, she's out of that relationship, but she has a ton of pain, you know, pain level eight, you know, eight out of ten all the time. You know, it's been going on for 20 years.
So I saw her yesterday. I'd seen her one week before. How are you doing now?
Well, my pain's at three now. In one week? Yeah, she didn't do any emotional processing of all that.
You just educated her on neural circuits.
Right, and start the process of separating from the pain. Start the process of not fighting it, not fixing it. Start the process of not fearing it.
How do you suggest when someone's in an eight out of ten pain?
How do you suggest?
Starting that process of not fearing it.
Well, step by step. Just a little bit. Just doing the process.
If you took the course that I teach, I demonstrated what I've been calling provocative testing. I'm starting to call it neural circuit testing now. But anyway, help trying to demonstrate to people in real time that these neural circuits can change.
I've used that a lot, actually, since that time. What are you finding?
I had a woman that she was convinced. Her doctor had told her her knee arthritis was so bad. She needed a knee replacement.
In fact, I wanted to ask you about this, because she did have swelling in that knee. And so she used that as justification of like, it's got to be a structural cause of the pain. But she said the worst thing was standing up from a chair.
So she stood up and she rated it a certain number. And then she sat there, and I had her just go into her body, calm down for just a second, and feel her knee and imagine doing that. And she had the exact same amount of pain.
Most people, it's less or there's a twinge. She had the exact same amount of pain, imagining it.
And how did she react to that when you pointed out that that was her brain?
It was still a lot of disbelief. And I mean, she was silent. I find people are silent for a good amount of time.
Do you see that, where they're just like, when they imagine it, and then they're just like, wow. And she's reached out to me again, and she is interested in exploring it more. But I think what her doctor told her, she really felt like she was almost, this is what I thought, maybe being negligent, if she didn't take care of that damage that was there, even though I just proved to her her brain was causing that.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's so many variations of this, and that's what makes the practice great, because you know how people respond, different people respond differently.
But what about that knee? How would you like, someone does say like, but look, the swelling is just in the knee, it's warm to the touch.
Yeah. Well, I mean, there, you know, there's not to say that she doesn't have some arthritis there. And number one, the brain can cause swelling.
I've seen that. Number two, arthritis can cause swelling, but maybe the pain she's having is way out of line with the amount of arthritis that she actually has. And research shows that when you compare x-rays of people's knees and hips, et cetera, the x-rays are not perfectly correlated with the amount of pain that people have.
There's a great degree of mis-correlation between how much findings are in the x-ray and how much pain, if any, people have. So we work with people where they're at, but if she's imagining standing up causes pain, there's definitely a component, if not the complete component, of her brain doing this. And then what we would do, of course, is try to see if that makes sense.
If that makes sense to her, that it's her brain, or at least a significant component of her brain, then we can calm her, have her do some affirmations, tell herself she's okay, and imagine, and then imagine standing up while she's repeating in her mind to herself, I'm safe, I'm not in danger. Safe, I'm not in danger. And imagine standing up again.
Yeah.
See what happens this time. And usually the pain will decrease or even go away with the imagine standing up. So imagining is a graded exposure, just a very low level of exposure.
She's not even standing up. But if you can show her that changing her mindset from fear and danger to safety and calm changes the amount of discomfort she has with imagining standing, that's showing her that she can change her neural circuit. And then, of course, you can have her do the same process of affirmations, imagining, not imagining, but telling herself she's okay, she's okay, smiling, joy, and then actually stand up with that in her mind.
And sometimes you see amazing things. And that's what happened with the thing I was telling you about who went from the eighth level to the three in one week, because this neural circuit testing showed her that it was really her brain and she gained much more confidence and could relax more.
Yes.
And her brain could relax more and her pain went away.
Yes. And I love how you described like that feeling of safety. So it's not just kind of like thinking, thoughts, that you're safe.
Like the kind of visceral somatic relaxation.
Yeah. Yeah. And exactly.
And trying to bring in a smile, trying to tell a little joke, trying to bring in the beauty of just breathing, the joy of breathing, the joy of imagining standing up, the joy of imagining walking. I was talking to working with a woman this week who used to be a runner, but now she can't run. So part of our treatment was having her imagining running with joy, right?
Imagine running with the wind blowing through her hair.
It was just beautiful.
And she really responded to that on, like you say, a visceral level to help change the neural circuits in her brain.
Yes. Number one way to rewire our brain, right, is to react with that calm, that safety. And since I went to your course, I've been telling myself that I'm safe.
In all of these situations that I, you know, my cognitive brain is like, this is really fascinating, interesting. I never would have thought I felt unsafe. But how much that changes my body physiology and allows me to relax.
You know, even in yoga, I'll sometimes feel some sensation. And just telling my wrist it's safe goes right away.
Even in doing a podcast?
In doing a podcast that I'm safe? No, honestly, though, I do with all of the things, because I think my body at a fundamental level is scared of like doing things wrong and making mistakes. And I kind of think it's my upbringing, you know, my religious background, but probably most people have their own version of how they don't feel safe, right?
Yeah, yeah, we all have had times when we didn't feel safe. And the key, I think, is using those times to help us grow and help us learn to be more stress-hardy, right? Because research shows that it's not the amount of stress necessarily.
I mean, there's obviously extremes, but it's not the amount of stress necessarily that causes problems. It's our perception of if we can handle it or not. And Victor Frankl taught us that in his book from the 50s, Man's Search for Meaning, where he made it through a concentration camp by focusing on love, by focusing on caring, by focusing on feeling that he had some ability to control his situation, even in a situation where there's virtually no control, to see his surroundings as a challenge, as an opportunity to grow and become a better human being.
I mean, it's an amazing, amazing book, an amazing person. But we all can do that in our own little ways with our own situations, I think.
Yes, we're always presented with some of these situations, right? Like, that's part of life. A pain-free life doesn't exist.
That's not humanity. But seeing that pain is opportunities to grow.
And an emotion-free life is not an option. Emotions aren't dangerous, and we can learn to accept and tolerate our emotions. We can learn to express them in safe and healthy ways.
I often think that kids on their bedroom should have a little whiteboard that has three columns. One that says things that make me mad, things that make me sad, and things that make me glad. And they can learn that it's okay to be angry, and it's okay to be sad, and so it's great to be happy.
Yeah.
Get stuff down.
Right. I don't know.
I just think it's a good idea.
I think it's a great idea. I love that. Because, yeah, I think we don't talk a lot about our emotions.
We're just kind of taught, like, you should be happy all the time, and if not, take a pill for it. So it's definitely interesting, and especially where I think there was a study you referenced where, or maybe you did, where the type of treatment, the emotional recognition, was it, treatment? What is it called?
Emotional awareness and experience.
Is more effective than the cognitive behavioral therapy and some of the current treatments that are the gold standard?
Correct. Yeah, we did that study when people with fibromyalgia, and it was one of the first, if not the first study, to show that one psychological intervention for chronic pain was actually superior to a different psychological intervention.
And that intervention is recognized by the US. Government Health and Human Services Department as a recognized treatment for chronic pain. So we're happy with that.
And my colleague Mark Lumley is a brilliant psychologist at Wayne State University in Detroit, who was really the person who wrote the grant and got us the money to do that cool study.
Congratulations on that. That is huge. And it's emotional awareness and expression and expression therapy.
So it's probably like it sounds. The emphasis is on being aware of your emotions, expressing them.
Right. And we learned this from from Dr. Alan Avis, the psychiatrist in Halifax, Nova Scotia, who is a brilliant researcher, clinician and teacher of the form of therapy that we used as a basis for this, which is intensive short-term dynamic psychotherapy. So the acronym is ISTDP.
And Alan teaches this all around the world, and it's really a very powerful and useful way of helping people deal with emotions.
Hmm, yeah, definitely the emotion pain line is very blurry. It's kind of a continuum, right?
All together. They're all in there together. Physical pain causes emotional pain, and emotional pain can cause physical pain.
Yes. Well, we are about to wrap up. I just have one more question for you that was from one of my clients, if that's okay.
She's a physician, and I think she heard you talking about psychedelics and research. And the benefits that we've been seeing. And she was concerned as far as like, there's already this opioid epidemic.
Isn't this just introducing something else that's equally as dangerous?
Yeah, that's a great question. Well, the research on psychedelics, of course, goes back to the 1950s. There's no evidence that these these agents are addicted.
That's pretty interesting.
Yeah, that's interesting.
Yeah, and it's kind of important to know. There's strong evidence now and growing evidence that they can be very beneficial in the setting of therapy. They're not always beneficial in the non-therapeutic setting.
So using them recreationally, I mean, it's been fine. People have been doing it for generations. Native people have been using psychedelics for hundreds of years.
Mostly, they're doing them also in therapeutic settings, religious kind of ceremony type settings. And so we're not, I don't think anyone's really advocating widespread chronic use of psychedelics throughout the population. But they are, they can be mind opening in the right setting with the right mindset in short term use, not long term use, and definitely not, and since they're not addictive, and they don't, they don't, you know, have side effects.
I mean, you can have, you can, you can go into a lot of fear and you can go panic reaction during one of these psychedelic journeys for sure. But if you're in a safe place, that can be managed. If you're not in a safe place, that could be harmful.
So you have to be careful with that for sure. But what we're talking about with mind body medicine is using the natural chemistry of our brain to heal ourselves. The power of the placebo to heal ourselves, it's using the power of hope and love and optimism and knowledge and calmness and awe and joy.
It's using those to heal us. And those are powerful chemicals. Yeah.
Joe Dispenza talks about this pharmacy that we have in our own heads.
Absolutely.
Yeah. So yeah, by cultivating different thoughts and emotions on purpose, we're really creating different chemicals in our body. Yeah.
All right.
Well, very cool. I really appreciate your time. It's really been a pleasure talking to you.
And I think this will really help a lot of people. And your information is so valuable and needed and respected. So thank you.
Thanks, Betsy. It's a pleasure to talk to you.
Anytime. Have a great day. Me too.

Episode #64- Internal Pressure May 17, 2021

Chances are, if you have chronic pain or disease, you are also the type of person that puts a lot of pressure on yourself.

We tend to put more pressure on ourselves than anyone else puts on us, and often we have a higher expectation of ourselves compared to others.

Constantly feeling like we should be different, creates a state of internal pressure.

I talk about the pressure we put on ourselves in 3 main categories: how we behave, how we feel, and pressure with time.

Listen here for more about the types of pressure we put on ourselves, and how to let it go so we can create more flow in life.

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Episode #63- You Are Safe May 10, 2021

The number one way to rewire your brain when you have chronic pain or stress is to FEEL SAFE. Like in your body, at a somatic level. Especially if you can react to sensations neutrally, calmly, this signals your brain and nervous system to calm down so you can heal.

In this episode I explain about the nervous system and why we might feel unsafe. Even if you aren't aware of conscious thoughts you have, you can use your body cues to realize times you are subconsciously not feeling safe.

I also share several strategies to feel more safe, so you can start calming yourself when you notice pain, stress or symptoms.

If you are in chronic fight or flight, listen up- this episode is for you!

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Episode #62- This Is Just Like Before May 04, 2021

Our brains are always trying to make meaning. And when we have a new pain or flare up, I have noticed many of us tend to look at our past to make sense of it.

The way we react to pain will make a difference in whether our pain is amplified or decreased. So if we react with fear and stress, this actually causes our brain to PRODUCE more pain.

When we compare current symptoms to the pain, anxiety or depression we felt before, we can cause a fearful state. We basically freak ourselves out! Which causes more pain.

Most of the time, pain is caused by past stressors (childhood or early adulthood), present stressors, perfectionism, or people pleasing (wanting to be seen as good). NOT by structural injuries as we have always been taught.

Our past does not have to predict our future.

You can look at these signs from your body as a warning signal or call to attention. What could you change in your thoughts or environment? Do you need to create some boundaries, give yourself rest, or change old thought patterns that are causing you mental stress? Pain is a danger signal, but it is our job to interpret what it is really saying.

The main key when in pain, is to calm yourself. Decrease the nervous system from fight or flight to rest and repair so your body can heal. So be on to yourself if you catch yourself thinking- this is just like before!

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Episode #61- Embodiment Apr 26, 2021

Embodiment is to become connected with ourselves, mentally, emotionally and physically.

There are many reasons we become dissociated from our bodies- programming to ignore our body cues, to hate and even to fear our bodies.

Usually we only pay attention to our bodies when there is pain or discomfort.

When there is pain, being in the body is not comfortable. So the thought of focusing in on the body and the pain could seem counterintuitive.

But in the process of embodiment, you learn to know your body's cues and can even change your pain.

How do you become more embodied? Listen to find out more!

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Episode #60- Boundaries Apr 19, 2021

Today I teach about boundaries, in what might be a new way for you to understand them.

Boundaries are important for chronic pain and disease sufferers, because many have personality traits of people pleasing and being a "goodist" (wanting to be seen by others as good)

Boundaries are not created to control others, that just frustrates everyone.

Boundaries are about what you will do. And you don't even have to tell people what your boundaries are in every case.

Boundaries are loving, for you and the person you have the boundary with.

And I speak specifically how the idea of boundaries can relate to the pain you feel in your body.

Good stuff!!!

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Episode #59- Inner Child Meditation Apr 05, 2021

In this meditation, you will visit your inner child. Any part of you from the past that is unhealed.

Gain a deeper understanding of your inner child, and the programming it believed.

Know that you can now, as an adult, reparent your inner child.

When the inner child is seen and heard, and feels safe, then you have access to your higher self. The truest, healthiest version of you.

Give it a try and start making peace with your past!

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Episode #58- Indulgent Emotions Mar 29, 2021

Today I talk about indulgent emotions- emotions that come up over and over and tend to keep you stuck.

Indulgent emotions are based on a thought error, often one we have believed for a long time. We can get stuck in a thought loop of negative thoughts and emotions, until we questions these fundamental beliefs.

Indulgent emotions are "dream excuses."

Common indulgent emotions are: confusion, worry, doubt, overwhelm, shame, guilt, self pity, victimization, or scarcity.

If you have chronic pain, or disease, the signals from your body may be indicating when you are having indulgent emotions.

It's like our bodies are "indulgent emotion detectors", and will signal us when we have old thoughts that need to be examined or changed.

Listen to learn more about indulgent emotions, and what to do if you notice them in your life!

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Episode #57 -Regret Mar 22, 2021

I noticed a sneaky little trick my brain was using to keep me stressed. Regret!

I give a couple examples of how I noticed my brain immediately turn to regret, as soon as a stressful situation was almost over.

Regretting things from the past that can not be changed, is a sure fire way to cause suffering.

If you have chronic body issues, you can often learn to identify when you are having indulgent emotions like stress or regret BY LISTENING TO YOUR BODY!

Listen here to learn more!

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Episode # 56- Trying on New Thoughts Mar 15, 2021

This episode is all about how to change your thoughts by recognizing when you have thoughts that aren't serving you. And finding new thoughts that are less painful.

Thoughts have an emotional effect on our bodies. So we can tune into how the body feels when we think a thought, to know if it is one we want to keep.

If a thought is causing you to feel tight, guarded, painful, or heavy, you can question it.

Can you find another thought that is still true, but it more peaceful in your body when you think it?

I share a few other techniques I use when working on changing thoughts, on this episode as well!

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Episode # 55- Cognitive Dissonance Mar 08, 2021

Did you know trying to change your thoughts can cause psychological stress and exhaustion???

When we work on changing our thoughts, sometimes that can happen easily. But sometimes we have to really work to believe a new thought.

Cognitive dissonance is the discomfort you have when your brain holds two competing beliefs. And that makes it sound mild. Sometimes we call it the "river of misery" when you are trying to change an old thought pattern and believe something new.

Struggling with this work, thinking it is not happening fast enough, or thinking maybe it is impossible for you IS NORMAL. It is sometimes difficult and uncomfortable to believe something new.

Be kind, compassionate, patient, and loving with yourself when you do this work.

Know that struggling with it is normal, not a reason to beat yourself up or lose hope!

The only thing wrong with you is thinking that there is something wrong with you!!!

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Episode # 54- B Minus Work Mar 01, 2021

Hey all you perfectionists and recovering perfectionists!

In this episode I talk about how perfectionism may have gotten you this far in life. But if you living in chronic stress because you think you aren't good enough in some way, then perfectionism may no longer be serving you.

B Minus work is a way of lowering the bar for yourself, to stop expecting the unrealistic, and to allow pleasure into your life on purpose.

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Episode #53- Receiving Feb 22, 2021

Are you a giver? Do feel more comfortable giving, than receiving? Do you struggle asking for, or receiving help?

Well listen up! Because working on receiving could benefit not only you, but also the people around you.

Constantly giving is not sustainable. You may already know that by the toll it has played on your body. If you are giving at your own expense, you can balance that by practicing receiving.

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Episode #52- Exactly What to Do Feb 11, 2021

Here is EXACTLY WHAT TO DO to get out of pain and heal your body.

And it's not what you think!

In this episode, I talk about how healing is not a matter of following and exact series of steps. Healing is an individual process, and what works for one person may not work for another.

So how can you know exactly what to do for YOU???

What I teach is to integrate back into the body, and find the inner knowledge within you. What if your body already knows how to heal, you just need to develop the skills to tune into and interpret it.

I go through some of the best basic techniques to tune into your intuition, higher self, inner wisdom, the knowing, or whatever you like to call it.

Tuning into your higher self for wisdom is a skill you can learn through embodying your body. And it is a meta-skill you can use in any area of your life!

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 52, Exactly What To Do. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind.
Hello, my loves. Welcome today. Thanks for joining me.
I hope you're enjoying this podcast, Unstoppable Body and Mind. If you have, please go over to iTunes and give it a rating and a review. It really helps the podcast be found by more people.
And if you haven't checked it out yet on Instagram or YouTube, you can see me actually filming the video of this podcast. And so you can see me talking as I'm talking. It gives you the whole audio visual effect.
Super fun. All right. So today, the concept of someone telling you exactly what to do, wouldn't that be great?
If you're listening to this podcast, you may be struggling with some chronic issues with pain or disease or fatigue, not feeling good in your body. And usually the people on this podcast, I think a lot of people who are listening to this podcast have tried everything that they can think of to do. And if you think about them, usually they're the physical things, right?
Like changing your diet or modifying how you move or restricting certain activities or getting massages, things like that. Physical treatments for your physical body. And then you might be at this place where you found out that it's possible that some of your pain, maybe even all of your pain and your disease is caused by your thoughts and emotions, by those heightened levels of stress, by your nervous system being so ramped up for so long that some of the signals get mixed or some of the structures break down.
So that's great news, right? You're starting to find out that there are other alternatives other than treating your body in a physical way. There's this whole biopsychosocial approach to your body.
And just as we are trained with everything in life, we want a to-do list. In fact, we want a quick fix. We probably would prefer a pill or something that we can just do very easily.
But even if it takes some work, I think a lot of people at this point are ready to do the work, but they want to know exactly what to do. I remember having this sentiment in physical therapy school, where we were learning about different injuries in the body and how to treat them. And I thought it would just be easiest if they had one big book about all the different possible injuries that could possibly happen and how you would treat each one.
But what they were teaching us were general concepts of how to evaluate a patient and to treat for general types of things independent of the body part. So, for example, if I was learning how to evaluate someone's ankle, I wouldn't just learn about all of the specific ankle injuries, but I would learn in general how to check for swelling and how to treat for that, how to assess the range of motion in a variety of joints, and then how I would apply that to the ankle. So they were teaching us more of the meta skill of being able to evaluate and treat anything, anyone, and not have a list of things memorized.
And I get it. It was frustrating. And I have some good news for you, some bad news and some good news, because if you think of it like bad news, not that we have to label it, get all judgy about it, but the news that people maybe are not as happy to hear is that what works for one person might not work for another.
Where one person might get a lot of benefit from 10 minutes of journaling, someone else might need 30 minutes of journaling, or maybe they are in a support group, or maybe they're getting coaching, or maybe they are doing a meditation series. People can get different effects that are helpful to them, I think depending on where they are in their life, what they're open to, and really what their body is ready for. So it's a little bit nebulous as far as what exactly works for someone.
But there is some good news too, because there's actually a way of learning the meta skill, of learning to tap into your own body, your own intuition, your own higher knowledge, your inner voice, and getting those answers for yourself. So although the process is not one of someone giving you a checklist of all the things you need to do, and you going through and checking them off in order in a certain way, and then boom, your healing's done. It's more a process of learning and growth through trial and error, through change, through baby steps, through successes, and times that aren't as successful that you learn from.
And even thinking of the goal as not a place that we just get to, where we're just healed, but thinking of humanity as always in continual healing, always on this journey and this path. Because as we grow and we evolve, new things might come up for us, new realizations of the old patterns that we have from our childhood, the old programs in our brain that aren't serving us. And not everything comes up at once and then gets healed and it's done.
And the goal is not to be completely pain free 100% of the time. Just like our goal would not be to be awake 100% of the time or full 100% of the time. We have these contrasting emotions for a reason.
And pain does serve a purpose. So you may be wondering, how can I know for myself exactly what to do? Because this was kind of a bait and switch, right?
I hate this title. I'm going to tell you exactly what to do. But I am.
Exactly what to do is for you, getting in touch with whatever your blockages are to your inner self. So maybe for you, journaling is the best way. I think that's a great way to start uncovering things.
If you haven't tried it, then absolutely try listening to that episode I have about Penvent, where I talk about how you can get rid of your negative thoughts, and how you can get rid of them. And I think that's a great way to start. Describing that journaling process, where you just write without any kind of filter, as if you're just a child having a temper tantrum, just spewing out all of the negativity, you get it out.
You can rip it up or burn it and move on. That can be super helpful in just. Uncovering some of the subconscious thoughts and old feelings that can be there.
Maybe you're someone that doesn't really feel any emotions. You kind of repress them to the point that your body does it automatically. You may not even feel like you get very angry or upset.
You're just kind of even all of the time. So for you, really labeling your emotions might be a really good first step. What am I feeling?
I would suggest getting a chart that labels a lot of different emotions, so we're not just saying bad or good or fine. You could really get down to the nuances of, you know, do I feel irritated or frustrated or annoyed or worried? You know, those all have slightly different meanings and different flavors.
Definitely for everyone, doing any kind of personal work, learning what your thoughts are, just listening to your thoughts, being the observer of your thoughts, detaching yourself and your concept of yourself and your self-worth from your thoughts, just realizing my brain keeps coming up with some of these old beliefs, but that's not a reflection of how good of a person I am or not, or if I've done enough work or not, or if I'll be able to do enough work in the future to get over this. Start by noticing. Meditation is almost universally shown to benefit with any kind of mental work that you're doing, whether it's just for calming your stress level or for actually trying to use your thoughts to manifest things and to have power and for healing.
So if you don't already have some kind of meditative practice, I would suggest something for calming your mind. Now, it doesn't have to be sitting on a yoga mat with a rigid straight back for 30 minutes straight. There can be walking meditations.
There can be guided meditations. You could be in a position that's comfortable to you. You could start with three minutes.
I would start with three minutes. Just don't even think about starting with 30 and then getting frustrated that you can't do it. And even with those three minutes, don't think that you have to be perfect about having a clear mind.
The process is more about noticing when your thoughts are straying and then bringing them back rather than perfection. Another very beneficial thing for getting back into your body, for connecting with your body again to find that higher wisdom and that intuition is to move your body. So actually physically moving your body and especially in enjoyable ways.
So doing things like dancing, moving to music, going on walks outside, nature can be a place that's very calming to your nervous system, a place where it might be easier for you to connect with something bigger than yourself rather than just having all the thoughts that you have and distractions of being indoors. Thinking thoughts on purpose can be very helpful. Having some kind of mantra or affirmation that you say can be very helpful in changing your beliefs, which can heal your body and change your pain.
So you might have a practice of when you fill that nervous system ramping up physiologically with your body, learning how to calm yourself, and then also having some affirmative thoughts that you say to yourself, like, I'm safe. I am always safe. I have divine guidance.
I am strong and powerful. I can receive help from others. The power of thoughts is something I talk about almost constantly because it's so, so important.
So cleaning up any of those old beliefs that you have, understanding them, thinking new thoughts on purpose, being so compassionate with the times that you feel like you're failing and having this patience with yourself. All of these things are so important on the healing journey, and some things may be more important at one time to you than another. And again, that's why tapping into your unique wisdom, your inner knowledge is going to be so important for you.
There are things like keeping a dream journal, which can get you more in tune with your intuitive side or what's going on in the subconscious. You can notice those times when you are feeling inspired. You can notice those times on purpose, where there are serendipities, where things seem to happen magically.
You can ask yourself throughout the day lots of questions and see with your body how you respond. So you can ask yourself yes or no questions, and there are different ways of muscle testing. One of them is just asking your body how it feels in your body to believe that thought.
So if your body tenses up, it's probably not a thought that is very helpful to you. Maybe it's producing some fear or anxiety. If a thought is calming to you, it's probably a thought that you want to have in your back pocket for those times that you want to calm yourself.
So asking yourself lots of questions, giving yourself time to respond, and muscle testing, which is basically like you can ask yourself in different ways, standing and swaying forward or back with your finger. There are some different ones. These ones I'm not as familiar with, but I have been doing this one, and I have an Instagram video about it.
I'll put a link in the show notes, where you can ask yourself a yes or no question. And if there's no resistance and it's smooth, then that's a yes. If there's some tension and there's kind of some resistance or friction, then that's a no.
And you can develop these. If they don't feel natural to you, and you don't feel intuitive with it yet, intuition is a gift that comes with practice. It's something that you actually have to develop on purpose.
It's not something that many people just have. And even if they do, you can still develop it further with this intent. This may look to you like what I've talked about in previous episodes.
As far as asking yourself, what is the next best thing for me to do? What is the next right thing? So in the morning when you wake up, what is the next right thing?
And maybe it's getting a glass of water. Maybe it's going for a walk. Maybe it's making your bed.
And then you do that thing and then check in again. What's the next right thing? So it's this process of continually checking in, following through with whatever message you're getting from your body and developing that sense of connection with your body each time you ask and respond.
The somatic tracking meditation is a good one for connecting with your body if this process sounds hard to you. But this really is the answer. It's a meta skill.
As you develop this confidence, this inspiration, this intuition with yourself, then you'll be able to use it in all situations, not just for your healing, but with your relationships, with money, with your body image, all of these kinds of things you're working on simultaneously as you're reconnecting with your body, and really seeing all of the old stuff that's there, all of these old emotions and programs, and bringing them out into the light, not judging yourself for them, understanding them, and then being able to move on in a purposeful way. So if this sounds like something you're interested in taking to a deeper level, be sure and reach out. I have a few more spots open for one-on-one coaching.
You can look at the link in my show notes, and you can sign up for a time for a free consult call with me. All right, you guys, give yourself some practice time this week with tuning in. See you next week.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review.
And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #51- Allowing the Negative Feb 01, 2021

In this episode I talk about how sometimes in life we have negative emotions.

We have an inner child that can feel self pity or unloved or unworthy.

So rather than beating ourselves up. Or worse, thinking that something must be wrong with us because we can't get over some negative core thoughts, I suggest you try ALLOWING them.

Set a time that you write and vent - imagine your inner child having a tantrum and complaining without restraint. Then you can rip it up and move on.

Try allowing the emotion in your body, like being the calm parent of a tantruming child. You don't have to do what the toddler wants, just listen. Have compassion. Understand why a child would feel hurt or sad or victimized.

Use your body signals as a sign to do this inner processing. Listen to you inner child, so she or he stops screaming to you through your body.

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Episode #50- A Detective For the Opposite Jan 18, 2021

In this episode, I teach you a strategy you can use to start to change your thinking patterns and rewire your brain. It is to be a Detective for the opposite of what you already believe.

Our brain is used to seeing what we already believe as truth. So the first step is to notice that you believe something. Then notice if what your believing is serving you.

When you have identified a painful belief you have, look for ways the opposite might have some truth. You can usually find SOME truth in the opposite, and sometimes it is AS TRUE as what you currently believe.

Our thoughts are powerful. Just opening up your mind to different thoughts, can create space for new changes to occur.

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Episode#49- How To React To Pain Jan 11, 2021

The way you react when you feel pain, determines whether you continue to wire you brain for pain or not.

When you respond with fear, anxiety, worry, stress or urgency, then your brain gets feedback that the sensation it is feeling is very important. The brain prioritizes looking for pain. And the hyper vigilance and guarding actually CREATE more and more pain pathways!

When you can respond neutrally, the brain does not see it as a high priority. Since it is not urgent, the brain can stop focusing on anticipating and creating pain.

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 49, How to React to Pain. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind.
Hello, my friends, thanks for listening today. I am going to tell you about how to react when you have pain. Now, I used to teach this a lot for several years, decades even as a physical therapist.
I taught people to tune into their bodies and to be very sensitive to any kind of pain, any kind of sensation that they would have in their body, and immediately link it to whatever activity they were doing. So I had a very physical approach. That's how I was trained in physical therapy, to look at the body as a structure, as a machine.
And if parts were broken, then we could do some exercises, maybe our stretches, some mechanical, physical things, in order to fix them. And now, what I've learned from studying research in neuroscience, is that the structures are not really shown to cause pain. Now, of course, sometimes if you sprain your ankle, or there's an acute injury, there will be a sensation of pain from your body to your brain, indicating that there's some problems, there's an injury, there's something that might be causing damage.
But that can even be overridden. Imagine if someone's being chased by a bear, and they've sprained their ankle, they won't even be feeling that ankle if they're running for their life. So we know that the perception of pain can vary depending on the situation.
Pain as this danger signal is very important to the brain. But what we learn from neuroscience is that when conditions become chronic, there are more pain pathways that are originating in the brain and felt in the body, not going from the body to the brain. Plus, you may have heard me say there's plenty of MRI research, hundreds of studies of healthy people, even professional athletes with no complaints of pain or resulting limitations in their function, who have torn rotator cuffs, meniscuses, menisci, meniscuses, I don't know, a torn meniscus or two on a knee, disc bulges, herniations.
That is so common in people, basically over age 40. If you've lived a few decades on the earth, you'll have some wrinkles on your face, and you'll have some wear and tear to your body. The perception of pain is so interesting.
There's a girl on my daughter's soccer team who ran with a dirt bike straight into a storage container, broke some bones in her face. The doctor said she still has broken bones in her face around her eye, and it's been three weeks, and she said she feels no pain. And she's out there playing soccer, running around, I would think jostling those bones.
She has no pain, no sensation of pain. And at that point, is there a threat? So if you're always taught that any painful sensation in your body means that something physically is the cause of it, then it's very easy to think that when something doesn't get better, that it means that the structure is still not healed or it continues to be damaged, or there really is something that needs to be on high alert, and you need to really watch out for and be looking for and be guarded.
So think about what happens when you're guarded. You tense up, right? When you have fear if something's going to hurt or not, you can even be sitting in a chair and thinking of a movement and start to tense up in your back.
So we know that more is going on than just what is structurally happening. And the difficult thing is that when we feel the sensation of pain, and we believe that it is structural, and we are basically giving feedback to our brain that this is important, there might be some damage, I wonder why it's not healing, it hasn't gone away yet, maybe this is never going to go away, what's the rest of my day going to look like? All of those kinds of things increase your stress level, increase the sense of fight or flight in that amygdala.
And so when the amygdala, the area that kind of processes all of the sensations, the information and the emotions, it's in the limbic system and emotional center of the brain, there's this part that's called the amygdala, and when it gets basically overstimulated, then signals can get mixed up. Things can be perceived as pain from the body, and it's actually from the brain down to the body. It can all be linked back to heightened states of arousal, stress, fight or flight that people are in chronically.
I mean, we are basically living in fight or flight, most of us. Have you ever been on vacation, laying on a beach, and you're still stressing out about things? It's because this is our normal.
Our cells are used to a certain amount of cortisol. We want to have a little bit of stress in our lives. It keeps us motivated.
All of these things, when we actually look at the thoughts and the feelings that are creating these neurochemicals, they can all actually be modified. They can be changed. If the pain has lasted for several years, and if you have tried many different things, physical things, if you've tried all the physical things that were suggested and nothing has worked for you, then please consider that you might have some emotions involved, that this might be something that you can actually work on on the emotional level, which they're showing most chronic pain and disease cases are, to a large degree.
So I want to really talk about what to do when you feel the sensation of pain. As much as you can, you want to react calmly. I know it's counterintuitive.
It's totally different than what I used to teach my patients. I used to teach them to fear, but that actually ramps up the nervous system and causes more pain to be created. So what you want to do is signal to the brain that it's not important, that it's boring, that it's not a big deal.
Maybe you can think, my body is strong, my back is strong. Maybe you can think, this is emotional, I'll deal with it later. Maybe you can think parasympathetic, you know, like the nervous system, the sympathetic and the parasympathetic.
Maybe you can just take a deep breath when you feel the pain. But I'm telling you, the more you can really believe, it sounds like some faith-based kind of thing, or like a cult or something, like you really have to believe, but this is why. The more you can, at the neurological level, at the nervous system level, respond back with a sensation of pain in your body, neutrally, then your brain doesn't keep thinking that it's important, doesn't stay on the lookout for it constantly.
When you're always looking for pain, more and more of your brain gets devoted to looking for and creating pain. So what you want to do is feel that sensation and react as neutrally as possible. Those meditations where I have you go into the body and describe the sensation, that's one way.
You can describe it neutrally, like my back doesn't feel as loose as I would like it to right now. Or you could have like a code word for your pain. You could call it banana or something, like, oh, that banana is back.
You could talk to your body, like, oh, neck, I hear you. You're getting really stressed. You're tightening up.
I'll journal about this later. We'll talk about this later. It's okay right now.
And then as much as you can, forget about it. Don't base your day around it. Try to not pain catastrophize.
Try to really not talk to people about your pain. The less you can make it important to your brain, the less your brain will create pain. So there are a lot of rhyming words there.
Every time I rhyme, I want to say, that's a rhyme. So become the observer of your body. Feel the sensations as neutrally as possible.
Describe them with neutral words, or kind of ignore them if possible. You don't have to be mean to them. You don't have to say you're not allowed here.
They're allowed here. It's going to be here. It's going to be in the passenger seat, or maybe in the back seat.
It's coming along with you, those sensations. But maybe you can still drive wherever you want to go that day. The more you can accept that it's there, but not really let it dictate you anymore.
Try and make peace with it. Try and observe it. Try to accept it.
And try to ignore it. Just try to be neutral with it. I know it's easier said than done.
If you've had some success with this, I would love to hear your comments. You can go over to Instagram, or YouTube, or Facebook. Body and Mind Life Coach.
And watch it and comment there. Thanks, you guys. See you next week.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review.
And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #48- A Meditation for Positive Sensation Jan 04, 2021

In this episode, I take you through a calming meditation. We focus on the positive sensations in your body, and finding a place of safety within that you can come back to.

This meditation is great to decrease fear and promote calm in the nervous system.

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Episode 47- My Word of the Year Dec 29, 2020

In this episode I talk a little about the word I have chosen for 2021- Light.

Have you chosen a word for 2021? Today is a quick listen to get you thinking about the intention you want to set for the coming year.

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Episode #46- Neuroscience, Embodiment and Pleasure- An Interview with Sex Coach Danielle Savory Dec 21, 2020

Today I interview Danielle Savory about overcoming chronic pain, embodiment, and finding pleasure.

Danielle is a sex coach for women, and host of the podcast “It’s My Pleasure.” Her education is is in Neuroscience and Buddhist Psychology.

She shares her chronic pain journey, starting with noticing her thoughts - allowing sensations in her body, and having self compassion.

Danielle studied with Kristen Neff and learned first hand the science of Self Compassion for creating a healing environment. When you accept and reconnect with your body, you can start to notice pleasure along with the pain. Danielle says, “When you start to see the rest of the body is there to support the pain, and in a compassionate way. That would help the pain move through. And over time to eliminate it.”

Allowing pleasure was a huge part of Danielle's healing. “Soak in the good of pleasure. Let it become a part of you, your brain, your whole being. It creates a buffer system of resilience, and a nourishing refuge within your body to help you through the pain.”

Sensuality is just paying attention to the senses. Notice your body and the sensations it has. And when you can learn how to do that, then it is easier to do with your own sexual pleasure.

Learning how to practice engaging with pleasure in your body can help shift the focus off the pain and allow healing. “Just because you have pain does not mean you can not experience nourishment and satisfaction and pleasure in your body.” You can notice the pain, AND also pay attention to what feels good.

Focusing on pleasure allows you to be more present, increase joy, and find delight - which will help to improve all areas of life. Studies show changes in parts of brain involved in imagination, the creative process, rational thinking, efficiency, and focus. So the journey toward sexual growth can create neuroplastic changes that effect the way you show up in the world.

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Episode #45-The Science of Well- Being, with Iva Dec 07, 2020

Today I interview Iva Faulknerova. I invited her on the show to talk about an online course she took through Yale, called “The Science of Well Being.”

The course is taught by Dr Laurie Santos, Psychology professor and Host of the Podcast “The Happiness Lab”

https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being

She talks about NPI: Neuro-Psycho-Immunology- the study of how thoughts effect our health. And describes some "annoying features of our brain" that keep us from feeling our best.

Listen for research based tips, to help you make small changes which can lead to greater happiness in your life.

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Episode # 44- Koshas, the Layers of the Body Nov 30, 2020

Today I am teaching about some ancient yogic wisdom, not neuroscience. But remember, science has it's limitations. We can only observe and quantify certain things we can perceive.

Listen with an open mind, and maybe find a new perspective to look at your body and mind connection.

The Koshas are 5 layers, or sheaths, that cover the light we have within us. When the layers are dense, our light can not shine out. Our goal with the Koshas is to work to become more transparent at each layer. Then, like Saran Wrap over a light bulb, our light can still shine brightly.

And then we have layers, or "koshas", that cover that light.

These layers are made of "Maya", which means illusion

So when the layers over the light are thick and dense, the

light can not shine out. You are locked in the illusion

There are 5 layers- KOSHAS

Starting with the outermost layer- ANNAMAYA KOSHA

(Food Layer)

The part of the body that is fed and nourished by food

-represents the physical structures of the body -bones, the muscles, the skin, the organs

And you could take some things and intervene at the food level

Maybe eating certain foods or taking supplements to help with healing.

But remember too that the problem could originate from a

deeper level and be radiating out.

So it is always good to look at all of the levels, because there can be a reverberation in the body

The food layer can become more or less transparent by what we eat or drink or how we treat the physical body.

Asana or the yoga practice has some effect on the Food layer,

But it primarily works on the next layer in, which is the PRANAMAYAKOSHA- Pranic layer

Prana is LIFE FORCE.

This layer is composed of the physiological structures in the body of blood, lymph, the breath , the respiratory system, the circulatory system, and the endocrine system, like the thyroid.

So if you have ailments in any of these areas, your primary work is here on the Pranic level.

And your primary remedy is the “asana”- yoga movements to promote flow of this life force.

And the other remedy is through Pranayama- which is the breath work.

The third layer, is the MONOMAYA KOSHA (Mind layer). It is what we sometimes call the MONKEY MIND, the irrational mind, the layer of mental chatter and the emotional level of the mind

Ailments of this layer include anxiety and depression

The remedy, the way to feed and nourish this layer, is through devotional practices, keeping good company, and performing selfless service to others. Karmic yoga practices- like caring for someone else. Or Bahti yoga which is chanting, or singing helps at this level.

The next layer is the VINJNANAMAYA KOSHA (knowledge layer)

This is the wisdom, intuition, and the perception. The layer that can figure things out, plan and study. It represents the intellectual level of the mind.

The affliction of this level is boredom

So if this is you- the way to feed and nourish this layer is by studying, and staying engaged in learning, and in growing.

The final, innermost layer is the ANANDAMAYAKOSHA (Bliss layer)

This represents the highest, innermost self (which is made of bliss!). Its is the layer closest to the true self

And so it is the layer that can cause the deepest affliction.

The ailment of this layer is disconnection. Disconnection from others, from yourself or from Source

This layer is fed and nourished by devotional practices, and maintaining connection to a higher power- whatever that is for you.

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Episode #43-What I Teach Nov 23, 2020

In this episode, I summarize what Body and Mind Lifecoaching is, and what I teach.

Body and Mind Lifecoaching is a fusion of what I have learned studying neuroscience and mind management principles.

I teach:

1-A new way to look at chronic pain and disease-by understanding how and why the brain produces pain

2-How to respond when you have pain

3-How to feel ALL of your emotions and sensations in your body

4-How to tap into your intuition

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Episode #42- Radical Self Acceptance Nov 16, 2020

The concept of radical self acceptance is that in order to truly change yourself, you must accept yourself just as you are.

We usually think if we are kind to ourselves, then we will never change. So we hold ourselves to unreal perfectionistic standards and then beat ourselves up when we don't achieve them.

But what if the way to change is not to be hard on yourself?

"It wasn't until I accepted myself just as I was, that I was free to change." -Carl Rogers

Radical self acceptance relates to chronic pain and disease in two ways

1-accepting all emotions we have is what John Sarno teaches. Pen-vent or journal to get those repressed emotions out, and then bathe them in self compassion

2-radically accept the sensation of the pain. Go into the body and describe the sensation. Do not fight it or dissociate away from it. React as neutrally as possible and send slow breath to and from that area. React to your body with compassion, not hate or fear.

Accept the sensation of pain, and send the message back to the nervous system that it can relax.

The best way to change ourself, including our perception of pain, is to fully accept all parts of ourself.

Radical!!!

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 42, Radical Self-Acceptance. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. Hello, my friends, welcome. Today, I'm gonna start off with the drawing.
Do you remember there was a drawing for $100 Amazon gift card? Well, that is being done right now. If you wanna watch on Instagram or YouTube and see me actually drawing the name, you can find me there at Body and Mind Life Coach.
And if you're listening, here's the rustle of the papers as I pick one. So the winner is Kelsey Gorkoski. So I'll be contacting you, Kelsey.
Congratulations. That was a drawing for people who gave my podcast a rating or review. And if you haven't yet, even though there's no drawing involved, please take the time.
It helps this podcast be found by more people so that this information can be shared. So today we're talking about radical self-acceptance. And this concept is based on a book by Tara Brock called Radical Self-Acceptance, a Buddhist guide to freeing yourself from shame.
The main concept with radical self-acceptance is that we all struggle with feelings of unworthiness, feelings of shame, feelings of not being good enough. And freedom doesn't come from trying to be more perfect. Peace comes when we learn to be accepting and loving of ourselves.
Once we can embrace the humanity and the struggles and the imperfections that we all have, then we can begin to create meaningful change. The feeling of unworthiness or not feeling good enough is quite universal. Brooke Castillo said that if you boil all of the problems she coaches on down to one thing, it comes down to self-worth.
And that means that just because your brain tells you you're not good enough, it doesn't mean that it's true. And it means that you're not alone. Most everyone struggles with some form of questioning their self-worth.
Now, most of us address the problem of not feeling good enough by beating ourselves up relentlessly. When we make a mistake, we think you're so stupid. Why do you always screw everything up?
You'll never succeed. You're too weak. We think that if we're harsh on ourselves, then we'll change.
There's fear that if we love ourselves when we do something wrong, then it will get worse. And we know from the model that you can never have a positive result from a negative emotion. So if the emotion we have about something is shame, embarrassment or guilt, then the actions we're most likely to take would be to beat ourselves up verbally, to hide, to not connect with others, and probably to buffer whatever it is that makes you feel good, like eating, drinking, shopping, gambling, being on Facebook too much.
Then the result is that we usually feel even worse about ourselves because we're thinking things that make us feel negatively, and then we buffer to get away from those feelings, which ends up sabotaging ourselves and making ourselves feel even worse. Our brain likes to prove itself true, even if it hurts us. So often, instead of being willing to change, we're stuck in a negative cycle of unworthiness and then buffering, which proves how weak and bad and unworthy we are.
Now notice if there are any areas of your life that you desperately wish were different. Maybe it's a body obsession or an addictive behavior or even the health of your body or chronic pain or disease. The fundamental way to change these things we don't like about ourselves is to accept ourselves, to radically and fully accept ourselves.
Carl Rogers said, it wasn't until I accepted myself just as I was, that I was free to change. So if I hate that I yell at my kids, the best way to change that is not to get really mad and frustrated with myself every time I yell at my kids. The best way for me to really be able to change that behavior I don't like is to fully accept that I am a person that sometimes yells at my kids.
I'm an imperfect human, and it's okay that I'm not perfect all of the time. I could even have compassion for myself, that when I get angry, I may yell, but that's just something that humans do sometimes. It's not an indication that I'm bad or worthless or unfit.
It just means that I have a human emotion, and in the future, I might want to react differently. Now, when you have compassion for yourself, you're not trying to change from a place of scarcity or a place of lack. You're accepting yourself.
You're knowing that you're worthy of love. You're not changing to get away from being bad, but you are wanting to change from a place of already being okay. Whatever we can't embrace with love imprisons us.
The truth is that we hold ourselves to a higher standard of perfection than what we expect from others. But if you think about it, most of us would rather be hanging around with someone that does have some imperfections. It's unnerving to be around someone who is perfect with the perfect hair and the perfect house and the perfect parents to their children, and their children always behave.
We may feel awkward because we're internally comparing ourselves. We might be secretly pleased when we catch a glimpse of their family struggling, so that we know that they're just human like us. This happened to me before, actually once I was doing a yoga class and a student was observing.
And after class, he said that he liked watching me practice. And I asked him what specifically, I was getting ready for some compliments. And he said he liked when I fell out of one of the standing balance poses, because then he knew I was human and not a robot.
So those people that we think are just perfect on Instagram, yes, part of us might look up to them and admire them, but part of us kind of hates that they're so perfect. When people don't seem to struggle or have problems, they don't seem real to us. It's not the kind of person we would want to hang around.
Or one time my dad put it this way. If you were, you know, maybe a high school basketball player, you wouldn't feel really comfortable playing on a professional team. You wouldn't really want to play with them.
It wouldn't be fun for you, even if you got the chance. You wouldn't be at the same level as them. So when we look at people who seem perfect, part of us is repelled by that.
Brene Brown calls these perfect imperfections. She says we can love each other, not in spite of these imperfections, but because of them. We are the ones putting so much pressure on ourselves to show up perfectly every time.
Other people actually like us more when we show up humanly instead of acting perfect. The process of radical self-acceptance is three steps. The first step, as always, is to become mindful.
Name what is there. Recognize when you're thinking the thought, something's wrong with me. Then respond to yourself with kindness.
Say yes to it. Allow it. Don't recoil away from it or beat yourself up about it.
Allow your insecure or judgmental feelings. Then infuse yourself with a profound sense of compassion. Bathe yourself in compassion.
Forgive yourself. Love yourself. And that is how you'll be best able to change it.
Now, how can we apply the radical self acceptance to chronic pain and chronic disease? The first way I feel like radical self acceptance correlates with chronic pain and disease is with John Sarno's theory of why the brain manifests pain as a response to the repressed emotions that we don't want to deal with. With radical self acceptance, we're accepting all of ourselves, all of the parts that are undesirable or ugly or unwanted.
And that's the same thing that we need to do with our journey with healing our pain. It's to accept that there are some emotions that our thoughts have created that we didn't want to feel, but are there in our body. If we don't feel them, then we feel them in our body.
So I think with what John Sarno recommends, with journaling, doing the penvent as I call it, and getting all of those emotions out and just recognizing that they're there. So I feel like radical self-acceptance is exactly what we're trying to do when we're working on healing chronic pain and disease. Really just recognizing all of the emotions that are there and not running away from them and not pretending that they're not there and allowing them to be there and be curious about them and accept them and bathe them with compassion.
As well, think of the concept of pain as something that you could also radically accept. What if the best way to eliminate your pain is when you notice it, to react so neutrally to it, to say yes to it, to allow it, to bathe it in compassion. When we react with fear or strong emotion to our pain, it sends the signal back to our brain that this is important.
We need to pay attention to it. We need to focus on it. It's like the brain turns up the volume of the pain and the hypersensitivity to pain increases.
Because our brain thinks it's really important and it wants to make sure we feel every pain sensation in our body. But the more we can notice our pain with acceptance or even with boredom or neutrality, it sends a message back to the brain that that sensation is not important. The brain can turn down that volume of hypersensitivity to it.
Because we know that people can have the same structural injuries, like disc bulges, arthritis or meniscus tear, and have different perceptions of their sensation of pain. It has more to do with how hypersensitive our nervous system is than the structural abnormality in our body. Some people may even have pain where they can find no structural abnormalities or medical explanations for why there is pain.
So there's a lot of evidence showing that it's not structural changes that cause chronic pain, but a ramped up nervous system and a pattern of hypersensitivity to body sensations. If you are not able to ignore your pain or react neutrally to it, you can practice accepting your pain by going into it instead of pushing away from it. Notice how it feels in your body.
Describe the sensation neutrally. Is it sharp or dull? Is it moving or stuck?
Is it warm or cold? Does it have a shape or a color? You can calm your breathing.
You can send breath to that area. When you're not fighting the sensation, it's more likely to decrease or even go away. There are many times I help people focus on and describe their pain.
And as they focus on it, their pain lessens or changes or moves in their body. I talk about going into your body on episode number 39. And I take you through a meditation where you can do this in episode number 26, somatic tracking, a meditation for pain.
Just like accepting all parts of ourselves can be difficult, accepting the sensations we have in our body, like pain, can be extremely difficult. But neuroscience teaches us that the way we respond to sensations of pain when we have them determines if we'll keep wiring our brain for pain in the future. This is a tricky skill.
We are not taught this way. So be patient and compassionate with yourself as you practice. But know that the best way to change ourselves is to fully accept all parts of ourselves first, and then we can be free to change.
All right, my friends, have a good week. Bye.

Episode # 41- Future Fear Nov 09, 2020

We all have some form of future fear, which can effect us in the present moment. People with chronic pain and disease often have so many unknowns about their health and prognosis, so future fear can be limiting and debilitating.

Today I want to talk about a specific kind of future fear- fear of evolving yourself into the next version of you. Are there some dreams you have forgotten about or no longer think are possible to chase? Are you not sure if you have a calling in life? Or what that calling is? Listen to this episode for advice.

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Episode #40- Beliefs Nov 02, 2020

Did you know beliefs are just thoughts you think over and over again?

Beliefs that aren't serving you can be questioned.

You will know to question a thought by WHAT YOU FEEL IN YOUR BODY.

Use your body sensations as a guide to start figuring out your emotions, thoughts and beliefs.

When you feel something in your body you don't like, resist the urge to pull away. The more you react calmly and without fear, your nervous system can move from fight or flight, to rest and repair.

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Episode #39- Going In To the Body Oct 26, 2020

Today's podcast includes two exercises for going in to the body.

Going in to the body, instead of retracting and dissociating from it, is an important way to start building a mind body connection.

It is a process you can use for processing emotion, decreasing physical pain and resolving trauma.

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 39, Going Into the Body. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. Hello, my friends. Today, we're going to talk about going into the body.
But first, I have some updates. My total podcast downloads this year has almost reached 5,000, which is exciting. I have 31 ratings now on iTunes.
You guys have been really doing your part, giving it ratings and reviews, which I really appreciate. I am still doing a drawing for a $100 Amazon gift card. So if you submit a rating or a review, then take a screenshot, email it to me, or if you follow me on Instagram.
So there's three possible entries per person. So on November 15th, I'll do a drawing for those who have entered to win, and someone will be the lucky winner of $100 Amazon gift card. My email is info at bodyandmindlifecoach.com, and all the information will be found in the show notes.
I've had a lot of listeners from Katrina Ubell's podcast who have started listening, so welcome to all of you. Many of you are physicians, and I've been doing a lot of consults these last couple of weeks with some of you. It's been awesome to talk to different physicians, people in the medical field, people who are interested in learning more about the mind-body connection.
And so I've been thinking of what I've been teaching that I could share with you on the podcast that might be helpful. One of the main principles that I teach is about going in to the body, to really describe the sensations and the feelings as if you're doing it very neutrally. I do this in the Somatic Tracking Meditation episode of my podcast, but I am gonna talk about it here today as well.
I've been listening to Peter Levine's book Healing Trauma, which I totally recommend. It's so interesting, and it talks about how trauma is biological. So I had this realization that was so funny this week.
The things that I've always thought were biological and physical, I've been learning about treating emotionally. And then something that I thought was mainly emotional, like trauma, that you would deal with by talking and analyzing your emotions. Peter Levine talks about analyzing and addressing biologically.
But what is really fascinating is that what I have been learning through life coaching, mind-body medicine, and with Peter Levine, there's this common modality, a way of addressing pain, disease, processing emotions, going through trauma, completing the cycle, is to go in to the body. Think of all the dissociation we have from our bodies. When you have chronic pain or you've suffered with disease, you may think your body has betrayed you.
You may hate your body. You may not trust your body. There may be resistance and even fear, thinking about how your life is limited, what you can or can't do.
There's a lot of times fear of the unknown, what if it gets worse? What is my future hold? What if something else happens?
When you have sensations, you may try to retract away from them, to tighten up, to resist, to push through, maybe even just ignore your body and whatever sensations it has. Now, what comes up for you, as I talk about your body? Take a moment to think if you have a loving relationship or fearful relationship with your body.
Do you feel like you're at war with your body? Are you scared of it?
Let's try right now just to be curious. Let's put the history and the past and the diagnoses and the prognosis over to the side. You can have them back when you want them.
But right now, I want you to just experience going into the body with me. So if you're driving or can't attend right now, maybe this is something that you can just listen to and come back to later when you have a chance to take it deeper and start integrating back into your body. So start by sitting or laying in a comfortable position.
Take some time to feel your body resting against the surface. You can close your eyes, rest them gently closed, and start to lengthen the amount of time you're breathing out and breathing in. And start to lengthen your breath and notice where you feel your breath.
Notice where you feel your breath in your body. Notice if you feel it in your nose, in your throat, in your lungs, maybe the rise and fall of your chest or of your stomach.
Start to pay attention to the movement, to the oscillation, the in and out of your breathing, and make it longer and longer as you calm and relax.
Begin to scan your body.
And describe anything that you come upon in your body. What grabs your attention? And how can you describe it neutrally?
Start by the area of the sensation that you have. And you can describe how big or small it is. If it seems to be dense or moving.
If it has a color, what would it be?
What quality does it possess? Is it a sharp or dull sensation? Is it a warm or cold?
How else can you describe it?
Keep focusing on this area, and notice what happens as you bring your attention to it. Does it change at all?
Maybe you can breathe air into that area. Imagine the breath swirling around whatever area you're feeling this sensation. And as you exhale, imagine anything coming out that's no longer serving you.
Pushing it out, releasing it, exhaling completely like you're wringing out your lungs before you breathe back in.
Try and be neutral as you notice this area. Try and go a little deeper as if you could shrink yourself down and look inside into that place. Maybe look with a flashlight like you're shining it around, being so curious about what you find, reacting so calmly to what you see.
There's really nothing to be upset about in this moment. We're just curious about what's there, going deeper and observing.
When you feel sensation, remember that you can go into it rather than pulling away from it. You may even ask it, why it's there? Does it have a message for you?
And then just calm your mind, breathe in and out, and listen. Some people hear a voice, some people feel a feeling, but maybe you can be open to whatever comes to mind. Even if you think it might be silly or irrelevant, maybe question it.
The more you practice asking your body, the more it will give you answers. Now, you can open your eyes. This is an exercise you can do anytime that you're feeling pain.
If you're feeling sensation, even if you're feeling emotions and want to process your emotions, you could notice when something's feeling off in your day. Maybe you're feeling frustrated, or you're feeling nervous or anxious, or maybe you're feeling excited about something. Really notice when you have these emotions, what they feel like in your body.
You might describe them as where they are in your body, how the quality of the sensation, how it feels. The more you tap into these signals from your body, the more aware you can become of what emotions you're feeling. It sounds weird, I know, to think we have to become aware of the emotions that we have.
But honestly, we're not taught to recognize our emotions. If anything, we're taught that we shouldn't feel certain emotions. People who are into coaching, sometimes we coach ourselves out of feeling so quickly.
So notice if there's something in your body, though, that's not quite feeling right. Maybe there is a little residual emotion that you're not recognizing. Or maybe you can start to recognize those emotions that come up frequently for you.
This is a way of connecting with your body. It's a way of becoming more in tune. It's a way of processing emotions and also releasing trauma going into your body, describing the sensation that you have.
Now I want to do one more exercise with you. This is from Peter Levine's book Healing Trauma that I referred to earlier. And he talks about getting comfortable with penduluming your emotions, basically where you are able to ramp up or increase your excitement level and then come back down.
He said people that have had traumatic situations that have not been resolved have difficulty when they do start to experience that heightened sensation of their nervous system ramping up. And so this exercise with going between emotions of excitement and grounding can be really important. So I want you to get comfortable and close your eyes again.
Really feel the contact you have with the surface that you're sitting on or laying on. Closing your eyes, letting the muscles of your eyes relax.
Taking deeper and deeper breaths, letting your shoulders relax away from your ears. Notice if there's any tightness that you're keeping in your body and try to soften it.
Now here we're going to visualize that you are a tree. So you can be any type of tree that you want. A willow, an oak tree, a pine tree, a big majestic tree that has branches and leaves.
It has a trunk that's stable and strong, and it has roots that go deep, deep into the earth. It's as if there's a magnet pulling those roots to the earth, to the center, and also spreading the branches and leaves up into the air, away from the earth.
Imagine this in your body, that your trunk is the trunk of that tree that is strong and resilient. Now imagine the leaves and the branches. They begin to sway in the wind.
And as the wind picks up, they really start to rustle. They begin moving more and more. And notice this in your body.
Where do you feel movement? Where do you feel intensity?
A big gust of wind comes. It blows the tree completely over to the ground.
There is some anticipation, some excitement, some wonder. As you notice that it's falling to the ground, how does that feel in your body?
But the tree is strong, and it comes back up. The trunk has been centered. The trunk is resilient.
The trunk is strong, and the roots pull it down, down to the earth. Feel this grounding sensation. Feel the stability in the core.
Feel the strength in the base. Feel the roots grounding to the earth.
Now shift your attention again to the leaves and branches in the wind. Feel how your body changes as you observe the movement.
Now, return again to the roots. Return to the grounding. Return to the trunk and the base.
Okay, so you can open your eyes. Now, going back and forth, you may have been able to feel the difference between those two emotions, of excitement, or maybe even a little bit of anxiety or worry, and then the grounding and relaxation and trust. Those are a couple of brief examples I wanted to share with you today about going into your body.
This principle is very important in desensitizing your hypersensitivity to pain. The more neutrally you respond to these situations, it sends the signal back to your nervous system that it doesn't need to be hypervigilant in this area. It sends a signal back to your brain that it does not need to continue to amplify the pain production.
So though it may be something you've avoided, going into your body is actually one of the first things that you can do to work on rewiring your brain to produce less pain. So that's what I have for you this week. Be sure and check out my Instagram.
I'm putting out a lot of new content there. And give yourself some chances to try going into your body this week. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #38- ”You are the Placebo” by Joe Dispenza Oct 19, 2020

Today I talk about Joe Dispenza's book, "You are the Placebo." I give just a few examples from the book, so if you're interested in more the book is such an amazing resource!

The placebo effect demonstrates how the mind makes physical changes in the body, just by having a belief or expectation that something will happen.

It demonstrates the power of your thoughts in healing.

If you want to listen to the podcast episode I did for Katrina Ubell's podcast, click here:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/weight-loss-for-busy-physicians/id1199570390?i=1000494569383

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 38, You are the Placebo by Joe Dispenza. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind.
Hello, my friends. I'll tell you what, I have had a great week. I was on Katrina Ubell's podcast.
She has a podcast, Weight Loss for Busy Physicians, and I've been working with her for the last six months, and she had me on her podcast to talk about her progress. Okay, so this is the title of it, which I just love. It's episode 196, How I Cured My Chronic Pain and Acid Reflex with Betsy Jensen.
And I have had a lot more listeners this last week to the podcast, which is exciting. Last week, my podcast had had about a hundred downloads for the week, and this past week, it was 1,400. So about 1,300 new downloads compared to the week before.
So any new listeners, welcome. I've also had more ratings and reviews on my podcast this last week. So thank you guys so much for that.
I was at 16 ratings last week, and now I'm at 24. So I really appreciate you taking the time to give some feedback and help this podcast be found by more people. Plus, I love reading the reviews from you guys and hearing your feedback.
I wanted to read one of the reviews that I just got. It's from KMR Doc, brand new listener. I found you through your appearance on Katrina Ubell's podcast.
Just listen to 34, number 34, about understanding the mind body pain connection. So well explained and make so much sense for the things going on in my life. Sent it to a friend for reference as well.
So glad I found you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that feedback.
And if you haven't listened to episode 34 yet, it is such a great summary of basically what TMS is, what Dr. John Sarno called TMS or mind body syndrome. So take a listen to it if you haven't yet and see if it resonates with you. Now I am still doing the $100 Amazon gift card giveaway on November 15th.
So you can enter by giving my podcast a rating or review or following me on Instagram. So three possible entries. You can email me info at bodyandmindlifecoach.com.
The links will be in the show notes. And let me know that you've submitted a rating review or followed me, and you'll be entered to win $100 Amazon gift card on November 15th. Okay, that's all the housekeeping stuff.
I'm going to tell you today about several examples from Joe Dispenza's book, You are the Placebo. So it talks about the placebo effect, which many of you I'm sure already know, but it's a big factor in modern day medicine. In fact, placebo trials, double blind studies, all of that is because there is such a thing as a placebo effect.
First, we'll start just by talking about when it was basically discovered. The first one he talks about is Henry Beecher, who was an anesthesiologist in World War II, and they basically were running out of supplies, and they ran out of morphine. And so he started using saline, and many of the soldiers either had a reduction in symptoms or completely had no sensation of pain when they were injected with saline, thinking that it was a painkiller for them.
Then when Henry Beecher returned to the States, he is the one who started studying the placebo effect in drug trials. So basically what that would mean is there's randomized trials, two groups. A group that is given the drug and a group that is given a similar type of pill that is said to be the drug, and there's a huge placebo effect.
Spoiler alert. It's real. It's really hard to even tell how much of it is your brain creating.
These things. Okay, so in 1962, there's a study in Japan where they took 13 children who were allergic to poison ivy. And they would, I love this, in the 60s, they would rub poison ivy on one arm, and they would tell the children that it was a harmless leaf.
Only two of the children showed an allergic reaction, 11 of them did not. Then they rubbed a harmless leaf on the other arm and told the children it was poison ivy. And they all, all 13 of them developed a rash from the benign leaf.
When they believed the information that was told to them about whether the leaf had poison ivy or not, their body reacted accordingly. So on one hand or one arm, a poisonous substance had no effect and a plain leaf created symptoms because of what the children believed in their mind. This proves that thought could be more powerful than the physical environment.
Another study from the 60s, they took 40 asthma patients that were given inhalers full of water vapor. They were told that the inhalers contained an irritant. 19 of them, so 48%, developed asthmatic symptoms like restricted airways.
So almost half of them, when they were just given water vapor, and were told that there was an irritant in there, almost half developed asthmatic symptoms. 12 of them, or 30%, suffered full blown asthmatic attacks. So almost 80% of them basically had either symptoms or a full blown asthmatic attack, inhaling water vapor that they were told had irritant in it.
Then they were given another inhaler which was said to have medicine in it to relieve their symptoms. Guess what? It was also just water vapor.
But all of them had a reversal of their symptoms when they were given the second inhaler of water vapor that was said to have medicine to relieve their symptoms. Again, showing that their thoughts are more powerful than what was actually going on in reality, if you think about it on a chemical level. There's also what Joe Dispenza talks about as a nocebo effect.
When you are given a suggestion that you may develop some certain symptoms, then you are more likely to develop those symptoms if you believe that. So, for example, they took women and gave them a placebo for around their time of the month, basically they said, you'll have worse PMS, you'll have symptoms that are a little more exaggerated than normal. And 70% of them had that.
They were suggestible by that prompt that taking that pill would cause those effects in their body, in their mind, in their emotions, and guess what? They did. So he also talks about how you would probably be a little more susceptible to catching the flu during flu season.
So he says, winter long, you're seeing articles about flu season and about signs all around about getting flu shots. And they remind us that if we don't get a flu shot, then we'll get sick. And then if we see someone that's sick, are we like the Japanese children who believe that their bodies react from their programming?
Or the asthmatics who developed symptoms and then relief of symptoms because of what they thought was in their inhalers? Here's a quote from You are the Placebo. Are we more likely to suffer from arthritis, stiff joints, poor memory, lagging energy, decreased sex drive as we age simply because that's the version of the truth that ads, commercials, television shows and media reports bombard us with?
What other self-fulfilling prophecies are created in our minds without being aware of what we're doing? Good question, right? I think there are those self-fulfilling prophecies.
Pain is definitely one of them. I've heard a lot of people say, you know, Oh, my dad and all my brothers have bad shoulders. We've all had this surgery, you know, whether it's GI symptoms or sinuses or add backs, you know, we definitely just absorb part of that programming from what we hear around us and our body will start to show that.
They'll show those things just like the Japanese children that developed a rash when they thought that there was really an irritant on their skin. And of course, all of this was before COVID. So just insert that.
Okay, more examples. In the late 70s, Dr. John Levine gave placebos to 40 dental patients who had just had their wisdom teeth removed. Most of them reported relief.
So just had surgery instead of getting the good stuff. They're given placebos. I'm just thinking of all those videos of people doing crazy things after wisdom teeth.
They're given wisdom teeth removal, given placebos, most reported relief. And then they gave them Naloxone, which is an antidote to morphine. So this drug chemically blocks the receptor sites for morphine and endorphins, the pain relieving chemicals that our body naturally produces.
So when the patients were given Naloxine, the stuff that blocks the antidote to morphine, their pain returned. That proves that their bodies, when they take a placebo, are actually producing the chemical, like morphine, the endorphin in the body that has that feel good effect. They were creating their own endorphins in their body, producing their own painkillers.
So Joe Dispenza suggests that we are our own pharmacy, that our minds can make all of these natural things to heal our bodies and make us feel better. Exactly how placebos work is still a mystery to neuroscientists, but they have uncovered several important clues. Placebos help the brain release natural chemicals and change brain activity in ways that mimic the effects of real drugs and treatments.
So Joe Dispenza says that our brain is a natural pharmacy. And if you can remember, it's our thoughts that are creating our emotions. So it's those sentences in our brain, our thoughts, which trigger the nervous system to interact with the endocrine system, which is where the neurochemicals and hormones and neurotransmitters are released throughout the body to cause feelings, feelings, those vibrations that we have in our body.
So basically with a placebo, if you think that something has a great chance of working and you're optimistic and you're positive about it, and especially if you keep taking a pill every day, you're thinking those positive thoughts and having that reminder every day, and you basically start to reprogram your brain, produce those chemicals as if that drug is working, when it's basically all just your thoughts and your beliefs that are making it work. Crazy. Okay.
This one's fascinating. In 1981, in New Hampshire, men in their 70s and 80s took part in a five-day retreat. Half of them were asked to actively imagine being 22 years younger.
The other group were asked to remember being 22 years younger, but not to pretend to be different than their actual age. In the retreat, they had environmental cues, like looking at old issues of life and Saturday Evening Post, listening to music of that time, talking about political events and sports heroes all from 22 years ago. They talked about current events, so that was 1959.
Both of the groups, after this five-day retreat, where they immersed themselves in seeing, listening to, interacting with, imagining, talking about being in 1959 instead of 1981, both groups got physically younger. So that means they took some measurements before and after. Their height had increased.
They grew taller, basically, as their posture improved. Their joints became more flexible. Their fingers lengthened as a result of the arthritis diminishing.
Their eyesight and their hearing got better. This is in five days. Their grip strength improved, and they did better on memory tests.
Some of the men, by the end of five days, gave up their canes and were playing flag football. Not tackle football, he says, mind you, but flag football. But if they're in their 70s and 80s, imagining being in your 50s and 60s, that's still pretty active and great.
So then if you compared the two groups, the group that actually pretended that they were younger, as well as talking about it, you know, listening to all the verbal cues and the cues from the environment, they actually thought of themselves at that age and were just really pretending to be younger. And that age, they measured significantly better than the other group in all of those areas. So definitely shows that their body chemistry responded to their thoughts, and change was not just in their minds, but in their bodies.
Joe Dispenza in his meditation retreats shows that there can be changes in people's DNA after day meditation retreats. Research is revealing how thoughts and feelings as well as our choices, behaviors and experiences have profound healing and regenerative effects on our bodies. The power of the thoughts can create physical changes in our bodies.
The placebo may be inert, but the effect is not. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me.
Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Episode #37 - Is My Pain TMS? Oct 12, 2020

In this episode, I talk about TMS- Tension Myositis Syndrome. Or what Dr John Sarno also calls Mindbody Syndrome.

TMS is a defense mechanism of the brain, against what it perceives as a bigger threat to our survival. Our repressed emotions.

Physical pain can come from the body (nociceptive pain) or from the brain (nociceptive pain).

TMS is a type of pain created in the body by thoughts and emotions. There are personality types that are more prone to TMS- perfectionists, people pleasers and co-dependent (I'm only ok if you're ok.)

I am going to quote Dan Buglio's (Pain Free You) list of TMS conditions, see if any of them apply to you:

"heartburn, reflux, abdominal pains, IBS, tension and migraine headaches, rashes, anxiety or panic attacks, depression, OCD thought patterns, eating disorders, insomnia, fibromyalgia, back pain, neck pain, shoulder pain, repetitive stress injury, carpal tunnel, TMJ- jaw pain, tendonitis, facial pain, burning, numbness, tingling, muscle twitches, palpitations, chest pain, pelvic pain, muscle tenderness, "growing pains", knee pain, dizziness, tinnitus, vertigo, allergies, and asthma."

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Episode #36- The Power of Questions Oct 05, 2020

Asking good questions is a way you can start building trust with your brain and your body. Do not ask negative questions or indulge in “I don't know.”

You can start by asking yourself, “In this episode I talk about the power of questions, and how we can put our brain to work solving problems for us during the day. "What am I thinking?”or, “What am I feeling?”

Here are some examples of other powerful questions you can ask yourself each day:

What am I grateful for?

How can I honor my body today?

What can I do to laugh a lot today?

How can I have more fun today?

How can I take time for myself today?

How can I make myself a priority so I have more to give others?

What do I love about myself?

What are my strengths?

How can I become more connected to my internal joy?

How can I make choices that benefit me and everyone around me at the same time?How do I feel in the flow?

How can I have more inspiration today?

How can I be more present today?

How can I show more love to myself?

How can I be more patient with myself and others?

How can I live my best life?

Try this! It is amazing how much your brain will help you if you ask it!!!

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Episode #35- Allowing Pleasure Sep 28, 2020

Have you ever noticed that as humans we have a hard time allowing ourselves to feel pleasure, happiness or other positive emotions?

Our brains have a negativity bias, and on a primitive level feeling pleasure is perceived as dangerous to our survival. We should not let our guard down, and we should always remember that negative things are about to happen. Thanks, brain...

I talk about what Gay Hendricks calls the Upper Limit Problem, the difference between pleasure and buffering, and how to notice and cultivate more pleasure in our lives. Even if you are struggling with pain, I will teach ways to begin increasing the pleasure and positive emotions you can feel each day.

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 35, Allowing Pleasure. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind.
Hello, my friends. I'm excited today because I'm trying something a little new. I, in addition to recording this podcast, I am videoing it too.
So I'm hoping to put it on my YouTube channel, which is Body and Mind Life Coach, as well as Instagram TV, Body and Mind Life Coach. You can find me there on Instagram. So today's episode is about allowing pleasure, which seems like something we would all want to do.
But if you think about it, humans really do have a hard time allowing ourselves positive emotions, allowing joy, happiness, creativity and pleasure. I first thought about this and heard about this when I was reading the book by Brene Brown. I think it was Daring Greatly.
And she sets a scene of people in a car, a family talking, and it zooms out and it shows them driving along a windy road, and then it zooms in and they're talking and stop. Imagine what is going to happen. Most people say something bad is gonna happen because this is how our brain works.
Remember the negativity bias that I talk about a lot. So this is a way that our brain helps us survive by always looking out for negative things, but it makes it really hard unless we are purposely trying to enjoy and cultivate more happiness to actually allow positive things in our life. Think about sometimes when you go on vacation and how you just have this urge to do things and maybe even check your phone a lot.
Think about, they call it Guilty Vacation Syndrome. In the UK, there was research showing that 66% of people did not want to leave their work to go on vacation because they felt guilty about leaving. Sometimes it's called the letdown effect, where you have a letdown of your perceived stress, then you're more likely to have illness or disease.
More people report having panic attacks on weekends. There was a study in Taiwan in 2015 that found that holidays and weekends have more ER admissions for peptic ulcers than weekdays do. It's like we're always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Gay Hendricks talks about this phenomenon in The Big Weep, and he calls it the upper limit problem. We have a limited tolerance for feeling good and having life go well. It's like we have this internal thermostat of how much capacity for happiness that we have.
And when it reaches that upper limit, then we actually do things to sabotage ourselves so that we bring ourselves down to that more comfortable level. We all have limiting beliefs about ourselves, that we're not good at certain things, that we're shy, that we can't make a lot of money. So when we hit this upper limit, our brain manufactures thoughts that bring us back down to proving itself right, basically.
Our brains will look for evidence of the bad things about us, and the brain would rather be right and miserable or in a painful condition than to challenge those beliefs about ourselves that just don't feel true. He says we may even start fights with people or have accidents so that we are not in that uncomfortable happiness and bring ourselves back down to the emotions that we are more used to feeling. Does that sound crazy?
If you look at the model, so if you think of episode five, the model that I taught, it actually makes sense because our thoughts are what create our feelings. Our feelings create our actions and then our results. So if we have negative core beliefs about ourselves, our brain is going to point out things when we start to have feelings that are too happy.
Remember how you're too bossy and people don't like that or don't get too excited about your new promotion because you'll probably just mess it up like you've done before or just because you lost that weight doesn't mean that you're going to keep it off. You always tend to gain it all back and then some, thank you brain. Our brain is so good at reminding us these things that limit us.
With pain, this can happen too. And I've seen it so many times where people start to feel better and then overdo it and get hurt again or start to have another body part that starts hurting. When we hit the upper limit, we are uncomfortable with tolerating happiness or pleasure.
So we do things to bring us back down. Joe Dispenza talks about it on a cellular level where we're actually addicted to certain emotions. So take the emotion of stress.
If you have cortisol at a certain level, your cells become used to all of those receptor sites having cortisol in them. In fact, the next cells that are made actually have more receptor sites to accommodate for that cortisol. And then if you start depleting that cortisol level, if you start feeling a little less stressed, your brain will literally look around for things in the environment to stress out about to produce that cortisol for your cells.
So when we talk about just allowing pleasure, it's not that simple. We have to increase our capacity for tolerating happiness and positive emotions. Now you may think I'm good at tolerating pleasure.
I come home and I have a few drinks, or I buy things online, and I have so much pleasure. But I want to take a minute and talk about the difference between pleasure and what I'll call buffering. So buffering would be something that you do to avoid your emotions, that you do to make yourself feel good, but has a net negative effect.
So if you're coming home every night and drinking a substantial amount, it might have a negative effect on your family, relationships, or on your body the next morning. If you're compulsively gambling or shopping online, it may have a net negative effect on your bank account. So it's definitely a case by case basis.
Some things may in moderation not give you that net negative effect and be pleasurable truly. But for example, if you're on social media to the point that you're not taking care of your responsibilities, you feel kind of depressed because of all the things you're looking at, that might have a net negative effect. So I really want you to think about the difference between pleasure and buffering and what buffering might look like for you, but usually it's a way to get away from your emotions, not to actually feel true happiness or pleasure.
So how do we increase our capacity for pleasure? How do we tolerate more positive feelings in our lives? We have to increase our tolerance of feeling joy and feeling good.
The first way, as always with this work, changing any kind of thoughts or beliefs starts with awareness of what you're already thinking. Where are those areas where you have limits for yourself, those self-limiting beliefs? Where are your upper limit problems?
And then realize that feeling pleasure, feeling good, feeling joy is actually safe. Really understand at a primitive level that your brain is trying to protect you by offering the negativity and don't let yourself feel too good because it's gonna end, and really increasing that capacity on purpose starts with realizing that it's safe to feel pleasure and joy. We have so much guilt and shame in our culture, it will take some conscious effort to allow yourself to feel positive things without that guilt and shame.
But it is healthy for us. We show up as better people in the world if we allow pleasure for ourselves. Most of the time, our brain is so focused on planning for the future, thinking about the past, guilt, shame, stress, anxiety, that we don't even realize some simple pleasures that are around us.
But have you ever spent time with a child? They show us a way of seeing the world that is so different than the way that we get desensitized to. I saw a four-year-old last week that her mom got her a bowl of grapes, and she just was anticipating those grapes.
And then when she got them in her bowl, she was like, mm, grapes. And she was doing a happy dance, and she was walking over to the table, taking them over, just so full of joy. And then, you know how children eat, she took like four bites to enjoy that one grape.
And the whole time, mm, mm, yummy, this is so good. And it was just like a pleasure to watch her enjoy something so simple that much. It reminds me of what about Bob when he's eating, and he's like, mm, mm, mm, yum, yum, yum, you know.
That scene is so funny. I'm not doing it justice. But that's the kind of attitude we could have if we were really enjoying all of the simple pleasures that are around us.
So what are things around you that bring you joy? I have made a joy list, and it's something that I just keep in my planner so that I can add to it at any time. And I've written down simple things that bring me joy.
And my planner is actually one of them. I love my planner. And other things that I have on my list are sitting on my porch, drinking a cup of coffee in the morning, even the smell of coffee when I'm at the grocery store, wearing a summer dress on a warm summer evening.
I love long walks on the beach. I'm just kidding. I love listening to children when they're playing and hearing them laugh.
I love seeing a dog with its head out the window. I love taking my dog on a walk in the mountains and watching him just run around with joy. That brings me pleasure.
I love when people wink. It brings me joy to give a compliment to someone. I have joy with taking a bath, listening to music, listening to podcasts when I'm doing housework.
I love kombucha. I love funny movies. I love the feeling of clean sheets on my bed.
I love going to yoga. I love teaching yoga. It energizes me.
So those are some things that I have on my joy list, and I suggest that you start a joy list too. And especially look for those things that you find joy in, that you've almost forgotten about, that you don't notice on the daily, but are there for you every day that you can take pleasure in, these small moments of the day. The more we notice and experience these pleasurable things, the more we will allow ourselves to feel positive.
So thinking back to the model again, pleasure is an emotion, a feeling. And emotions, feelings come from our thoughts. So we can also increase our pleasure by changing the thoughts that we have about things.
One of the thoughts might be, I can allow myself to feel pleasure, or it's not dangerous to feel pleasure. It doesn't mean that I'm bad or selfish if I'm taking time and doing things for myself. Taking care of myself is the best thing that I can do for the people around me.
Another big part to recognizing those pleasures that are all around you is to be mindful to be present in the moment. So whatever you're doing, if you're taking a shower, then you could really notice how the warm water feels on your body. And if you're washing yourself, really touch your body and feel it and feel the pleasure with that.
Maybe putting on lotion, taking the time to actually put it on like you would lotion up a baby rather than just slapping it on. If you're eating, are you savoring the food that you're eating or are you shoveling it in or are you eating in your car? Taking time to notice the touches and tastes and smells and sights around you.
I remember one time I had a student with me that was a photographer, and she would always comment on how the sky looked or how the mountains looked. And those were always there for me, but I had so much more awareness of them when she started pointing them out, and I began looking for how cool the sky looked, too. Notice the amazingness, I don't know if that's a word, how amazing it is when a child is telling you a story.
And maybe it isn't about something that you find necessarily interesting, but maybe have curiosity and fascination for why it's interesting to them. Being present with people and really listening to them will not only increase your pleasure, but allow them to feel more seen and heard. Having that attitude of fascination and being curious is a great way to increase the pleasure in your life.
Gay Hendricks has you think how much love and abundance am I willing to allow and how am I getting in my own way? Now, if you are struggling with a lot of pain at the moment, which you may be if you're listening to this podcast, this might seem very challenging for you. How can I find pleasure, possibly, when I'm in such a state of agony or such a state of discomfort?
And it starts with very small steps. But remember, the more you're focusing on the pain and obsessing about the pain and thinking about it continually, you're actually creating more neurons that are associated with creating pain in your body. More of your brain capacity starts being focused on pain, and your hypersensitivity to pain increases.
So it's especially important for you to start increasing your capacity for pleasure. I think of with the law of attraction, where you don't want to focus on the things that you don't want. So you're not focusing on, you know, when is this pain going to go away?
I hate this pain. But you want to focus as much as possible on what you do want. Maybe for you, you're not quite at the point where pleasure seems like a reality, but you can start by at least getting yourself out of the fight or flight response when you have pain.
I talk about this in my episode, Somatic Tracking, a meditation for pain. So you could actually lay down and do this meditation and really notice that you can feel sensations in your body. You can focus on them and describe them without going into fight or flight and without trying to retract from the pain and pull away from it.
Actually going into the sensations, discovering more about them. And this way, you're going to start decreasing that, you're going to start rewiring your brain to create less pain. I think about in yoga, when I've been in a very uncomfortable position and thinking about keeping that steady breath, focusing on my breathing, that can really help with the physical discomfort or the challenge that I'm feeling with my muscles burning or stretching.
So we always have our breath with us. It's a tool that we have from the moment we're born until the day we die. And it's something that we can use to actually get out of that fight or flight, get into the parasympathetic nervous system where we calm our bodies and we aren't in a state of creating more and more pain as we focus on it.
So being aware of your breath, slowing your breath is such a helpful tool in the times that either you're feeling pain or your brain is just feeling out of control. You know, you have a lot of thoughts, you have some anxiety, things that you're thinking of with guilt or shame from the past, whatever it is, taking a deep breath. That's always so important.
What brings you joy or pleasure may be different than what brings other people or myself joy or pleasure. So this is a chance to really think about for you what is positive for you? What do you want more of in your life?
I suggest really trying to tune in to your inner voice. If you find me on Instagram, I did a reel, which is a little short video clip with music, where I show you how to listen to your intuition by swaying back and forth. So what you would do is close your eyes, ask yourself a yes or no question, and depending on which way you sway, that's your answer.
Yes, usually forward. No, it's backward. And this is one good way of starting to tune in to your inner voice.
If you feel like you don't have a good connection with your inner voice, do know that the more you practice, then it does become stronger and stronger. I love how Glennon Doyle in her book Untamed talks about really connecting to her inner voice. She calls it the knowing.
She said that when she started meditating, she started with ten minutes a day, and she could feel that she would sink down into herself more and more, where she wasn't on the surface with all of those thoughts that were thinking about crazy things and jumping from one subject to the next. When she sank down lower and lower, she would have this answer. She would have the knowing.
And it would not necessarily come as a voice to her. It was like a nudge. And then she said when she would act on that nudge, it was like warm liquid gold flowing through her veins when she would do what the nudge had told her to do.
And this is how she would do the next right thing one thing at a time. She said it felt almost like a game where you're not focusing on the end. The knowing wanted her to keep coming back and keep asking what is the next right thing, giving her that nudge, and then she would do it.
So she said, just practice this formula, sinking down, feeling the nudge or the knowing, acting on it, doing what it says, feeling the warm liquid gold, and then repeat forever. I really like this because it is easy to get overwhelmed with what is the big picture, what are all of the things out there that are necessary to do. But we can always slow it down, find in ourselves what the next right thing is to do.
And again, it's very individualized, so it's not going to always look the same from day to day or from person to person. But that's what's beautiful about it, and that is what will help us evolve to the next versions of ourselves by following that voice, that nudge, that knowing, and allowing ourselves the capacity to enjoy, to have pleasure, to have happiness, to show love without guilt. So please think about this over this next week.
Maybe start the joy list, think of what things bring you pleasure, practice knowing the next right thing to do, and see if you can increase your capacity to have positive things in your life. Because once you're turning away from the negative, focusing more and more on the positive, that's what will grow. So thank you for joining me today.
If you haven't already, go to iTunes and give my podcast a review and a rating, please. I would love it. And we'll see you next week.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review.
And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Episode # 34- What is TMS??? Lessons From Nicole Sachs, LCSW Sep 21, 2020

I just finished an amazing virtual retreat with Nicole Sachs, LCSW. Today I want to share with you wisdom I learned from Nicole- both from the retreat and from her podcast, The Cure For Chronic Pain. She explains TMS so beautifully.

Nicole was a patient of Dr John Sarnos, and then went on to work with him. In this podcast I will talk about what Nicole teaches- about TMS, JournalSpeak, and having patience and kindness for ourselves on our healing journeys!

“The pain is not all in your head, but the solution is not in your body.” -Nicole Sachs, LCSW

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Episode # 33- Can Pain Be Your Superpower? Sep 14, 2020

In this episode we look at pain in a different way. Many people who have gone through the process of doing this body and mind work view their pain as something they are grateful for, their gift, or even their superpower.

Pain is a danger signal. When people learn to see pain or disease as a sign from their body, and learn the tools to address what needs attending to, then pain can be used like a barometer. A gauge to let them know it is time to check in or recalibrate. This extra information helps with coping skills, stress management, and helps identify and change personal issues so they aren't passed on to others. Learning to manage pain and disease is a meta skill that can be used throughout life to help you become more attune, and become evolved to the next version of yourself.

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Episode # 32- How It Feels To Be Wrong Sep 07, 2020

I got the idea for this podcast from a Ted Talk by Kathryn Schulz, where she says how it feels to be wrong. It feels like you're right.

The brain has programming and the world we perceive is based on what what we bring in that validates what we already believe. Even thoughts that cause us mental or physical pain are kept because they are known and predictable.

I talk about questioning all of out painful thoughts. As well as using pain signals or poor health in the body as a red flag to check in emotionally and mentally.

This is the path to freedom.

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Episode # 31- The Evidence File Aug 31, 2020

Today I want to share a life hack for rewiring old programs in your brain. It's called the evidence file. You write down evidence against the current belief you want to change- whether on 3x5 cards in a file, or on a list somewhere you keep. For example, I have an evidence file of nice things people have said to me or successes I've had. So when my old program of "you're worthless" comes up, I can easily look at evidence that proves it's not true.

You can use the evidence file to make a case against your pain. Notice on purpose the times you DON'T have pain when you expected you would. It is so much easier to notice and focus on when you do have pain. But reacting to pain with strong emotions like frustration, worry or fear, just strengthens the neuronal connections that reinforce the pain is important. Most of chronic pain is neuroplastic pain that is created by the brain because of emotional factors, but felt in the body as pain.

The evidence file will help you decrease the strength of the neuronal connections in your brain, and rewire your brain to make less pain.

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Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 31, The Evidence File. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind. I have a little life hack for you today, something that I've started doing in my life that I really like. And so something that I wanted to share because I think maybe you'll like it too.
And it's called The Evidence File because basically our brain has a lot of beliefs already, these programs that it's formed. And our brain likes to find evidence to prove the thoughts that we already believe true. So subconsciously, that's what it will continue to do.
If we're not actively taking a look at what kinds of things we're thinking, then these programs will just run on default. About 95% of our thoughts are believed to be subconscious. And so I think of those as the programs that are running behind the scenes where what we're thinking is what we're seeing basically on the computer screen, and all these programs are running in the background that make all of those things work.
You can tell I know a lot about computers. So when we're working on changing our thoughts, it can be really difficult for our brain. It's hard for our brain to change to new thoughts sometimes.
I mean, sometimes we can just choose to believe something differently, and it really clicks, and we can change instantly. But sometimes with some of those really old programs that we've been thinking since our childhood, it's a little harder to change those. And so some of the programs may be negative things that we think about ourselves, or just qualities that we feel like are facts about ourselves that we don't really question anymore.
We just find more and more evidence to prove them. So if I have a belief that I'm not good at making new friends, then when I go to a place where there are more people that I don't know, I probably will act a little bit awkward, stick to myself, not want to talk to people, and not only find evidence that supports that I'm not good at making new friends, I'll actually create more of that evidence by the actions that I take by not talking to people. So what we're going to talk about today is a strategy to start being conscious of things that may go against our strong beliefs and to start compiling some evidence in the contrary.
And I heard this term, The Evidence File, from another podcast, Danielle Savory, and she was talking about putting, actually making a file, like in your file folders, and writing down things on a 3x5 card that were for her. She was talking about things that are good about yourself, compliments you've received, things that you're proud of, that you did well, successes that you had, and writing them each down, putting them all physically into this evidence file so that you could at times pick it up, take those out and read through them and remind your brain that there have been some positive things that have happened in your life and that people do in fact like you and you can succeed at things. Because remember, the natural state of the brain is to look for what is negative.
In fact, we feel very uncomfortable with being very happy, you know, just tolerating that sense of fulfillment and happiness and success. It actually feels quite uncomfortable for most of us. We have to build up our tolerance to thinking of ourselves in this new positive way.
I've started doing this and for me, it's less convenient to have a three by five card handy and put it into a file folder. So I just have a page of my planner that I've devoted to my evidence file of those positive things or times that I've been successful. So when I've worked with a client that says I've changed their life, I wrote down Katrina Ubell said that I've changed her life.
If you're in the Life Coach School group, you know who that is. She's kind of a big deal. She's a doctor.
She's someone that I worked with. She said I've changed her life. At yoga, someone said I had a beautiful flow.
My dad said that I've always been a teacher and as soon as I learn something, I want to teach it. Another client said I'm saving her life. One of my friends said, you are a great mom and I see it and know it.
Don't let anyone or anything try and tell your brain anything different. My neighbor once said that my vibe is like sitting by the ocean, so I love that. Just reading over those, like I'm smiling, I'm feeling a little energized.
These are actually things that people have said and having it in one place like that where I can just read through, then my brain can literally go from a state of, you know, kind of thinking I'm worthless and I'm not doing things right to having some hope and remembering why I love this work. So I have this list of positive things. And then I heard on another podcast about keeping a list of your taxes, the taxes you've paid.
And those are basically the negative things that have happened, times that are hard, struggles that you've had, things that you wouldn't call successes, maybe failures or things you can learn from. But not trying to look at it in that way of like, what can I learn from this? But really just recognizing this was a really hard time for me, and I really felt emotional about this, and I've paid my taxes in this way.
I always talk about how life is 50-50. So we're not coming out of it pain free. We're not coming out of it without a little bit of struggle or difficulty or hard times.
And so by writing those down, it reminds me that I've been through that, and so those positive things are also going to be coming because I've been paying my taxes. I had someone sign up to work with me and then just change his mind at the last minute. I had a course that I waited a little too long to sign up for, and the morning that I was like, okay, I'm signing up, I found out it was full.
I had someone not respond to a message that I sent, and I made that mean a whole bunch of things. And again, I'm not trying to self-coach myself here. I'm not trying to sugarcoat them or find the silver lining or say that was really good that that happened.
I'm just putting them all out there, listing them, because I know that for each of those times, I can just plan on something good happening to me because I've paid my tax. And for me, it just kind of feels good to write them down sometimes to be like, look, this sucked. I didn't like it.
And it was hard. And just validating that, you know, there are some negative things in my life. And that's part of being a human.
There's one more type of evidence file that I would suggest. If you are having chronic pain or disease, if you're struggling right now with something that you're working on, healing and understanding, then what I usually tell people to do is to be a detective against your pain. We are all very good at thinking of physical reasons why we feel the way we do in our body.
So I might think, oh, my knees are hurting because I was running up and down the stairs a lot yesterday, or my stomach is hurting. What did I eat recently? Or I woke up with this kink in my neck.
I must have slept on it wrong. So we are all very good at being detectives who notice pain and notice what could be going on physically that would cause it. And of course, we notice pain.
It gets our attention. But what I would suggest here is that you make a case against those things that you've been thinking cause your pain. So what I mean is if you say that it hurts when I sit for 30 minutes, then really be perceptive to what's going on throughout your day.
And maybe there's a time that you have sat for more than 30 minutes and not had pain. Like you're watching a really good movie that you're interested in, and you notice it's been 45 minutes since you last had pain or an hour. Maybe you notice that as you're making the bed, the kink in your neck doesn't hurt.
Most people, when I talk to them, and I really get them to think about if there's ever been a time that they expected to have the pain but they didn't, they can think of at least one time that it's happened. Maybe it's like first thing in the morning, you roll over and realize you don't have any pain. And then as soon as you have that thought and that realization, you roll back and, oh, the pain is there.
But we're very quick to notice the pain, not as adept at noticing when we don't have pain. So it's going to be a challenge to think that way. But, you know, maybe if it hurts to walk up the staircase, you might notice that the first two steps don't hurt.
It's not until the sixth step. Just be really, really interested and curious about when you don't feel pain. I think about, like, hunger.
Sometimes I can have a physical sensation of hunger, but then I get either, you know, very nervous about something or I'm having a good time doing something, my mind is distracted, and I'm not noticing the physical hunger. And I think the same can be happening with pain. And the purpose of building all this evidence against your pain is basically rewiring your brain to not think of things so structurally, to not automatically assume that the pain is because of a structural change in the body.
Because we know from MRI evidence that people who have structural changes don't necessarily have pain, even bulging discs or rotator cuff tears or misalignment of your spine. Most of us do have something physical that if we looked with an MRI, we could see some structural changes, but it doesn't mean that that's what's causing our pain. So I want you to clue in to those times, being very selective and writing them down and starting to make this case against your pain.
Another thing to think about is what is going on for you emotionally or psychologically at the time when you're getting pain. So using pain as that red flag or warning signal to check in and then instead of automatically thinking, oh, it was probably because I was squatting down six times in a row to pick things up that my knee is hurting, but maybe the stress of moving to a new place and the timeline that we have and, you know, all of these other psychological factors could be what's going on. This is a quote by John Sarno.
I suggest to patients that when they find themselves being aware of the pain, they must consciously forcefully shift their attention to something psychological, like something they're worried about, a chronic family or financial problem, a recurrent source of irritation, anything in the psychological realm. For that sends a message to the brain that they're no longer deceived by the pain. When that message reaches the depths of the mind, the subconscious, the pain ceases.
And modern neuroscience does back this up. When we feel pain and we respond with fear and we have anxiety and lots of stress about it, then it reinforces that neuroplastic pain that's created by the brain and felt in the body. But if we can continually react with not focusing on the pain as much, not having fear around the pain, not strengthening all of those neural networks that are associated with pain, up to 95% of the pain in chronic pain is because of this neuroplastic pain.
Alan Gordon, the Director of the Pain Psychology Center in LA, says, the majority of chronic pain is not caused by physical problems in the body, but by learned neural pathways in the brain. So when we're not reinforcing these neural pathways by thinking of all the physical causes that could be contributing to our pain, then we are rewiring our brain. When we can react with calmness and knowing that this is just something emotional that we're feeling in our body, because our reservoir of those emotions that we try to repress and the stress that we've been carrying around for so long is getting too high and we need to do something to get ourselves back in balance, then pain doesn't become such a threatening, scary, vast of unknown that continues to keep us in fear and creating more pain.
So think about your evidence file. Do you want to start creating an evidence file of those positive things that have happened to you, nice things that people have said, successes that you've had? Do you want to have a list of the taxes that you've paid, like I do, or do you want to also have a list like a detective making a case against your pain, the times that you didn't have pain when you might have expected to and the times that when you did feel pain and thought of a psychological cause, if the pain changed for you at all or lessened.
Rewiring our brains does take some effort. It takes some energy. It takes some focus.
It takes a shift in your mindset, but it is absolutely possible, and it is totally worth it. So start gathering your evidence. Start making an evidence file so you can rewire those old programs from your brain.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review.
And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Episode # 30- My Struggles , My Successes Aug 24, 2020

In this episode I talk all about myself! Struggles with my anxious mind, ulcerative colitis, and some things I've learned from my pains and doing this work.

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Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind- Episode 30. My Struggles, My Successes.

In this podcast we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts,

to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life. Become unstoppable, body and mind.

Hello, my friends. I thought it would be fun today on this podcast to talk about myself. Today, I wanted to share with you a little bit more about what I'm working on and the things that I've accomplished and had some success with that I think you'll find interesting.

Just like you guys, I am trying to better myself. And with that comes some pain. Sometimes discomfort, sometimes emotionally and sometimes physically. And I want to talk about that today. So you know that I go through the same stuff too.

But first I have an announcement. Most podcasts already do this, but I've decided to have the day of the week that my podcast comes out as Monday. So I think I've been kind of hesitant to commit to it always coming out on a certain day because my brain tells me what if that doesn't happen? And it's better if you just, you know, do it sometime during the week. That's the procrastinating part of my brain apart that doesn't want to be pinned down or held to anything. But I've decided to do it. Monday is the day that you will be receiving new podcasts. I figured it was a nice way to start the week. And so that is my commitment to you all that even if it's midnight on Monday that you're going to be receiving a new podcast each Monday. That's if you're in the US. I know. Some people are listening in Australia. And so it might be a different day of the week there depending on what time you listen.

Okay, so let's talk about me and my problems. We're going to start with my struggles, because I definitely have them and life is 50-50 for me. And even though I have been doing thought work for about five years, it doesn't mean that I still don't have any mind drama, and that my thoughts are clean all the time. That's not really the point of the human brain, it will never get to that part where I'm not thinking negative thoughts, or I'm not struggling because I have a human brain that is programmed for survival. So it is always going to be on the lookout for negative things and will be very, very good at showing me all of the negative things. Because that is the best way to survive according to the primitive brain.

So one of my struggles is an anxious mind. I would say I have anxiety. I've never been diagnosed with it. I've never had to take medicine for it. But I definitely have a lot of anxiousness in my life. And I will just basically wake up feeling anxious, probably nine out of ten mornings. Sometimes in the middle of the night, I'll wake up and not be able to go back to sleep,

or even just during the day, I'll start perseverating on something and get really anxious thinking about it. I think my brain is very good at overthinking things, and looking for worst case scenarios and pointing them out to me. And even before I discovered thought work, I was this way

and with thought work on this way.

I honestly think my parents are quite anxious people, and it's probably just part of my genetic and cultural heritage. But I don't let it stop me. And I've learned some tools to deal with it. These are things that work for me.

The first thing is writing things down. Sometimes I don't even know what exactly I'm thinking, I'll just have this knot in my stomach and tightness in my chest, maybe even a lump in my throat just kind of this constricted feeling and general uneasiness, almost sometimes dread. And usually there's a bunch of thoughts behind it. Something about my kids in school or

my business, or my ex, or feelings that I'm not doing enough, or how messy my house is. Really, it could be anything. My brain wants to find all the reasons to feel, overwhelm and anxiety and it can find them. Even on vacation, a lot of times I wake up anxious.

So at this point, I know that's how my brain is. And I don't try to fight it. And I've found some strategies that work for me to deal with it. And the first one is journaling. So when I feel overwhelmed about all the things that I need to do, I start writing a list of what they are. I write down lists, I write down thoughts, anything that comes to mind. I will write it down on the page so that it's not swimming around in my head and overwhelming my brain. And that usually helps at least a little bit.

It's like I always teach these emotions need to be felt. Those feelings need to be validated. And so I don't try to push it away and pretend like it's not there. I actually dive a little bit deeper in and explore what is going on for me.

The second thing I do is try to get my parasympathetic nervous system activated. Just try to calm my nervous system. Whether that is actually sitting and meditating, I've been doing that a lot more lately, and I really think it's been helping all areas of my life. Sometimes I'll just lay in bed and take some deep breaths before I get up. And for me, I feel so much of my anxiety in my stomach and it's related to my ulcerative colitis symptoms, which I'll talk about in a sec. And so I really try to breathe, as if I'm breathing all the way down into basically my intestines. Like I when I inhale, I breathe all the way into my pelvis. And then when I exhale, I try to exhale completely.

And this means that I'm taking longer, slower, deeper breaths, because the tendency when you are anxious, is to take short, quick, shallow breaths, which just ramps up the sympathetic nervous system, the fight or flight.

And the last thing that I do with my anxiety is I get up and I get to work. So once I've

kind of analyzed what's going on and what's stressing me out that day, I get up and do my morning routine, like making my bed, getting dressed. And I don't specifically try to repress the anxiety. I imagine it just coming with me.

So Brooke Castillo, my teacher calls anxiety her “heavy purse.” She picks up her heavy purse, and she takes it with her wherever she needs to go. The other analogy I like for these emotions, is that they just ride in the passenger seat with me, they're in the car, but they're not driving. They're just sitting there along for the ride.

And honestly, once I get going and doing things, I don't notice that they're there so much. So I wouldn't say I'm like, plagued with anxiety all of the time. But it's almost like it's just there in the background, waiting to show me reasons why I should believe it.

What I've been thinking about a lot lately, when I am starting my day or getting going or have kind of those transition moments or some free time is what is the next right considered action.

So if I'm getting ready because I have a zoom call at nine o'clock, the next right considered action might be to go brush my hair and look presentable, at least from the shoulders up for that call.

And if I'm feeling some mom guilt, thinking that I haven't been giving my kids enough attention lately, then I will think maybe the next right considered action would be to go and watch a movie with them, or go on a walk with one of them. Because sometimes my brain gets overwhelmed with all of the things. So if I was like, Oh, my house is such a mess. And it's very overwhelming to think of every room and everything that needs to be done in each room. So I would maybe just start with one of the rooms and one of the tasks, maybe it's just doing the dishes or maybe Just cleaning off my bathroom countertop, one thing at a time.

Okay, here's another thing that I struggle with. And I don't even know that I would call it a struggle at this point. But it's something that I've noticed that my brain does. And I used to get frustrated with it. And I think that this is something that happens with all of our brains. And so I want to talk about it. And that's when I have a decision to make, my brain will offer me resistance.

Here's an example of something that recently happened. I woke up and when I was meditating, I kept thinking about messaging someone to kind of ask for a favor. And it was something I was a little uncomfortable with. But I also knew it wouldn't take too much of their time and that they would probably be willing to do it if I just asked. And so I did, I composed the message and then literally right after it I sent it, my brain was like, “that was a horrible idea. You shouldn't have done it. That sounded stupid. Why would you ask that?” You know, just all the things my brain wanted to tell me.

And I've noticed that this comes up a lot. So I've actually gotten a lot better at not listening to that resistance. But I want you to know that it still comes up. It's still there. I think I talked about this in my decision making podcast, because it's part of what our brain does when we are trying to decide something. Our brains are pros at basically debate- where you argue for and against something. Our brains can do that, depending on which way we're leaning towards, our brains will usually argue against that and I do notice that that comes up a lot for me, but I try to notice it and allow it to be there without listening to it too much.

Now, another thing I want to talk to you about is my ulcerative colitis. That is the autoimmune disorder that got me started on this journey of Mind-Body healing. And it's definitely a journey, not a destination. There have been times that I've been completely symptom free. And last fall when I had a colonoscopy, he said there was no active disease, which was awesome.

But I've noticed, especially in 2020, that I've had some symptoms again, earlier this year in January, when I started this podcast and started coaching people and building a website and making posts on social media. I was admittedly much more stressed out and even got to the point, once there was some blood in my stool, and then I really got a little bit freaked out. I felt a ton of imposter syndrome. Like, “who do you think you are trying to teach people about healing that they can heal? And here you are. You're not even healed all the way. I mean, your symptoms are coming back.”

Now, you know, looking back, I can see it was definitely stress related, I committed to taking some time for rest and repair. So not pushing myself quite as hard, taking naps when I was tired. I did a lot of coaching on my thoughts and my stress level. And what I was making it mean that I had some symptoms again, when I am pretty much symptom free and thought I was healed. But I don't think the timing was incidental. You know, I was really being vulnerable and probably repressing a lot of emotions to just kind of push through and my body was not going to let me get away with that. So it brought up these symptoms.

I kind of recalibrated myself, and I haven't had those severe symptoms again. Sorry to talk about like poop and stuff, but it's kind of what you deal with with ulcerative colitis.

But what's interesting is I still do get the pain, I get it. That's where I feel my stress is in my stomach in my intestines, it feels like I would call it like a bubbling, green geyser, that when I feel anxious or stressed about things, then I have kind of this bubbly churning in my stomach. But I kind of use that as my barometer of me needing to either deal with some emotions, or give myself some time to rest and repair.

And it happened to me last week where I had kind of some like sharp pains in my stomach and it was a little more than the normal just like stomach grumbling. And I didn't make the connection until I was telling my friend about it a little bit later, that what had happened is I had just made a pretty vulnerable post on Instagram where I had this big salad that I was holding and I was talking about how I used to eat salad out of fear, because I hated my body and wanted it to be different. And I was coming from this place of fear eating salad and I didn't

enjoy it. And then when I had my ulcerative colitis symptoms, I just couldn't even eat vegetables at all. I mean, it was looking at a salad like that will literally just make my stomach churn. And so I had to, for years completely avoid raw vegetables. And I have started eating salads again, and it's been fine. And it's, and I love salads now, and I'm not eating it for any reason, because I hate myself. I'm really eating it out of love, because sometimes a salad just really sounds good to me.

And so it was just this very raw, open post about basically how I was healed. And just a few minutes later, that's when I started getting those symptoms. And again, my brain in the moment, I wasn't like, “Whoa, I eat that salad. That was horrible.” I actually had a pretty important coaching call with someone that I was a little nervous to coach and I just thought it was kind of about that. But then when I was telling my friend about, like how bad my symptoms were this last week that one day, I was like, Oh, that was the day, and it was right after I made that post, and I ate that salad.

Seriously, I think my brain and my nervous system were like, “this is dangerous, you're being vulnerable. You're putting yourself out there in a way that doesn't feel safe. And so I'm going to give you these symptoms and this pain, to keep you small, to keep you hiding to keep you in the cave and safe and in pain where I can take care of you. And you won't have to risk any of those hurtful emotions of someone rejecting you because you put yourself out there.”

So what I did in that moment was, you know, I had that call coming up and so I did some tapping. EFT, I have an app for it called the tapping solution, which I think is really awesome. And they have meditations and tapping for different conditions or circumstances in your life. Whether it's fear about Coronavirus, or being in the military, or wanting to get a good night's sleep and they have one for the intestinal issues or stomach issues or stomach pain, and I did that tapping app. And it completely I mean not completely, took the pain away. It went from like a seven to a three, but it drastically reduced it enough so that when I went to do the coaching call, I felt fine.

But yeah, you guys, I still struggle with it. A lot of people with chronic pain, who are no longer dealing with chronic illness have their pain or disease where, you know, they experience it every day. And it's like the focus of their life. But it'll pop up every now and then. And I it's kind of I think of it as the way my body speaks to me. And again, kind of that barometer or signal danger signal, because that's what we know pain is to tell me, “hey, something needs to be recalibrated in your life right now”, or just for me to recognize, “yeah, you're doing things that are out of your comfort zone, and risking rejection is not the biggest thing to be feared.”

I really can't control how other people think of me and I want to show up the way that I want to show up. But just there just was some time it took me to just kind of uncover some of those emotions and figure out what was really going on. And I imagine that won't be the last time in my life that I'll have to do that.

So I count my ulcerative colitis as a struggle and a success because I've definitely learned so much through it. And I'm actually thankful that I do have it because that's what brought me to this work, and all of the amazing things that I've learned and the things that I'm helping people with right now.

So I want to tell you a couple of interesting stories that I would call successes along this journey. The first was involving some knee pain that I had last year, and I had some knee pain that lasted about six months. And one thing that was interesting that I noticed was one time watching a yoga teacher demonstrate a move, and I thought it would hurt my knee and my knee instantly started hurting. So I knew that it wasn't totally structural.

And of course, I've been you know, I've been thinking about this stuff for a long time. reading about it, you know, exploring it. I knew that I was almost certain that it wasn't something structural, but I've also been a physical therapist for 20 years. And so in the back of my mind, I was like, “all of these symptoms really point to a knee meniscus being torn.” And a little part of me believed that that might be the part of my pain that I just couldn't get over because there was something structural.

And I had a friend check out my knee. And she's in medical school and she was feeling around and said, Your fibula is really tight on this side. And literally, as soon as I really fully believed that there was some other structural explanation for what was going on. Then the next day, my knees stopped hurting. I mean, this is a lot like the UC, where occasionally I will have some knee pain. It'll come every once in a while. And now that I do the pen vent process, I've actually had it go away quite quickly when I journal or if I'm kind of bored with it. Like I've talked about before, just like “oh, there it is.” And not making a big deal of it.

So that was an interesting learning experience. And that's how I try to look at these instances of pain that I have. Now, as you know, this is a great chance for me to kind of like conduct a little science experiment on my body and to learn something.

And then the last thing I'm going to tell you about that I thought was fascinating was I spent some time at the lake cabin with my cousins and did some surfing behind the boat. And one of the times I face planted, and you know, kind of jarred my neck as I landed, and I thought, even in the moment I could start to feel it tighten up and I thought “for sure, tomorrow I'll have some soreness,” but like it's not a big deal. I wasn't worried about it. But I've also had a lot of experiences after falling waterskiing or any other activities like that snowboarding when I face planted. You know, I'm like, “Yeah, sometimes muscle soreness would probably be quite normal.”

And yes, the next morning, I did wake up with some muscle soreness, mainly on the left side when I would turn my head, and even a little bit of a headache. And I thought just for the sake of an experiment, I mean, I have a really good reason of why it should hurt. And it's within the first 24 hours. So I do believe there's kind of some legitimate clean pain that's not created by your brain. It's created by your body, like if you had a sprained ankle or a broken bone. But I thought just for the sake of an experiment, I'm going to try some journaling. And I did rage on the page, you know, I really let it out and didn't hold back with my emotions. And anything that I could think of I wrote down. And literally my neck pain went away. I mean, actually, so the end range of motion when I would turn completely, at the very, very end, I could feel, you know, a little pinch. But like as far as just walking around, my headache was gone.

That day we went cliff jumping, and it didn't bother me at all. It was really just when I like turned my head fully 100% or 95% to the left, I could feel it a little bit. So most of the day, it was good. I totally didn't notice it. But later that day, we all went out to dinner, and I paid for everyone. And then I had checked my account and this big bill that I didn't expect to come out that day had come out. And I noticed like there was this money situation where I had to transfer some money pretty quickly and was hoping that I didn't already incur any fees or anything. And so I started feeling that neck pain again, wouldn't you know? So I realized it, obviously quite quickly then. And so that time I was with my cousin, her kids and all my kids and I wasn't able to sit down and journal. But I was able to just recognize this is exactly what's going on. My mind did not go immediately to a structural cause it went to this emotional cause. And as soon as I was able to like acknowledge, listen, this money situation is fine. It was just this little glitch I had to take care of, I'm safe. Then my neck pain went away again.

There's even a quote from Dr John Sarno, where he talks about, if you are having some physical pain, think about something psychological instead of something physical. Actually, I'll just read it to you. He says, “I suggest to patients that when they find themselves being aware of the pain, they must consciously forcefully shift their attention to something psychological, like something they're worried about a chronic family or financial problem or recurrent source of irritation, anything in the psychological realm. For that sends a message to the brain they're no longer deceived by the pain. When that message reaches the depths of the mind, the subconscious, that pain ceases.”

Guys, we're just humans, we are always going to have one pain or another, or an illness. There are things that are going to happen. And instead of thinking of them as either a weakness and character that we know all this mind body stuff, so why would this possibly happen? I mean, that's how I used to feel for sure. When I was starting this work and putting a lot of pressure on myself. These things are gonna happen even to the most experienced Mind Body practitioners, I'm sure they still happen. And you can look at them as a chance to get deeper into yourself to maybe learn something about yourself. And to almost do these little science experiments. Definitely not a fearful way of thinking of anything that starts happening to your body.

Thanks for listening, I hope that you got some little pieces of inspiration from hearing me talk all about myself. But I do think maybe hopefully it was a little bit helpful to hear about my humaneness and the real struggles and things I've gone through and the success I've had too. Thanks for being on this journey with me.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode # 29- You Are Not Your Thoughts Aug 19, 2020

In this episode I talk about what we make our thoughts mean about ourselves- especially our negative ones. But as humans are brains are programmed to be negative. If we don't expect that or allow for that, it is easy to feel frustrated with ourselves or feel like we are doing it wrong. But just like life is 50-50, we will have good thoughts and bad thoughts. And that's OK.

I talk about becoming an observer of your brain, a watcher of your thoughts. This is just as important for thought work as it is for healing chronic pain.

So listen, and learn ways to be more gentle with yourself and your brain. You are NOT your thoughts.

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Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind. Episode Six- How to Get the Results You Want.

In this podcast we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life. Become unstoppable, body and mind.

Hello, today we are going to talk more about the model. So if you want to review the model, listen to Episode Five.

But basically, it's a way to break down any situation into the circumstance, thought, feeling, action and result.

Now really looking at our problems in the model allows us to see what the circumstance is. Which is basically something objective that a court of law would find.

We learn how much is coming from our thoughts, and how our thoughts create our feelings.

Feelings cause our actions, usually not showing up the way you'd want to.

And the result is what your actions cause. Our results always prove our thoughts true. That's just the way our brain works.

If you find that you're trying to do a model, and the result is not proving your thoughts true, it's probably because you have mixed models, which is very easy to do when you're first starting to do models.

Remember, you have 60 to 70,000 thoughts a day. So it's very easy to get sidetracked on a different model.

So now that you can understand your problem and the role you play, and where you have the power to change, how do you solve the problem?

It's tricky.

In life, we want an easy answer. So I warn you this does sound deceptively easy, but be patient with yourself in the application. Remember, the brain is programmed to be efficient. And there are lots of strong neural pathways that are activated with these thoughts that you've been thinking for decades possibly. And the cells even are used to getting certain neuro chemicals.

Joe Dispenza explains this is how we can get addicted to certain emotions like anger, or judgment or shame. To make a change in our brain requires energy. Most of our models are based in the past our brain is very efficient and sometimes has even formed these models when we were children, trying to make sense of the world.

But remember, that past is gone now. The only thing that is left from the past is the stories that we retell in our brain. And you know what happens to stories that get retold over and over and slightly morph over time.

I watched a program on Netflix called Memory Explained. They said that 50% of the details about a memory change with each passing year, yet people are still convinced they're 100% right.

Thank you brains.

But we all do this. So if you've been telling a story from your past, over and over again for years or possibly decades, chances are that it's kind of a super glossed over photoshopped, almost social media worthy story.

Sometimes we call it story fondling, which is just what our brains do to make sense of what happened and how it fits into our context. We might mold the story so that we are put in the best light, almost like using a filter to reflect what we believe and want to portray back into the world.

Maybe thinking this way we can continue to be a victim or blame someone else. In fact, one good way to know if we're living in the past is that we have a lot of stories of victimhood. When we blame someone for making us feel or do something, we have a model that is based in the past.

If you also are having an emotion in your model that is guilt or shame, that is a model from the past.

Another example that I like to use in every situation is the model with pain. Pain would be a model that's based in the past. Joe Dispenza says we wake up and remember our pains each day. So it kind of makes sense that the brain's programming is just reliving the story of the pain and this kind of background program that it runs efficiently over and over and over.

In fact, research has shown that brains become more hypersensitive to pain and have a lower threshold of what's needed to register pain when pain becomes more chronic.

What if we could Question each model from the past that has been causing us pain? If it's from very long ago, the thing that we may be calling a circumstance may not even be 100% true, or really what happened in reality?

If you're noticing that something from the past is causing you pain, can you accept the thought that things happened just as they were supposed to? Remember, Byron Katie's observation, that the only times we have pain is when our thoughts are in contrast to what happened in reality.

If we could tease out each model, like a knotted up ball of string that we untangle one string at a time, and the more conscious we become, the more we can begin to choose and shape our future.

Speaking of the future, you've probably already guessed now that the way to solve any problem using the model is by putting what you want in the result line?

Really, you could put it in any line of the model because it's like a building with floors. And the model is like an elevator you can take up or down.

But let's start with the result line, because that's the best way to show how you can get what you want with the model. So imagine what you want in the result line. Do you want more money? Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to start a business? Do you want to learn to play an instrument? Do you want to find love? Do you want to play tennis again?

You can literally put anything you want in the result line. Do you want to make a million dollars? Put it into a model.

What actions would you need to take to make a million dollars? Working back from the actions, what feelings would you need to have to generate those actions? And what thoughts would you need to think to feel those feelings?

Let's get more specific with a model about pain.

So the result that I may want is to sleep through the night. Then I think, what are the actions I might need to take in order to sleep through the night? I would probably start by journaling, just letting my mind go into a receptive mode and writing down whatever I might think of.

One way I might start is to ask my body what it would need to do to sleep through the night without pain, then just grab some paper and start writing without a filter without thinking. Just fill up pages.

Maybe I might decide to drink some herbal tea, or not to drink liquid past a certain time. Maybe I might think to listen to some soothing music, or try a meditation app. I could try some yoga nidra which is sleeping yoga, which is restorative and has comfortable positions. Or I could think of taking a bath. Maybe I might try reading a book like Divided Mind by John Sarno, that looks at pain in a way different to what I'm used to. That is how I can help my brain rewire.

If you want to have some fun you could look up the books by Louise Hay or her explanations online for why a certain pain or ailment in your body is manifesting in you. Like sciatica, she says is related to being hypocritical, fear of money or fear of the future. And neck pain is because of inflexibility or unbending or stubbornness.

So those might be thoughts of things you can journal about. Maybe they relate to you and you can apply it maybe not. But just a springboard of ways to get you thinking a little bit differently.

Maybe I could look into joining a pain coaching group which is something I do plan on starting. So we'll look forward to that in the future. There are apps like Curable that can teach you modern neuroscience, and how the newest research is suggesting a whole new way of looking at and treating pain.

Gaining information is the first step and helping your brain rewire. You cannot continue to think the same way and create change. Here is an example of some information that might cause you to question your thinking about how you've been taught to view pain.

MRIs are traditionally used to determine if there might be a cause for the pain or a physical need for surgery. But research has been showing that MRIs really should just be used for red flags for things like cancer or infection or tumors because they're not reliable and showing a structural cause of pain.

A study I learned about from 2015 performed MRIs on people who did and didn't have back pain. 47% of the people who reported back pain had no abnormalities on their MRI findings. They had no signs of disc degeneration. 32% of the patients who had no lower back pain did show abnormal MRI results. They had clear signs of disc degeneration but had no

back pain.

They were tracked over the next year and 13 of the patients who had no back pain initially started experiencing back pain. But when they did another MRI, they did not see any physical changes that could show why or explain this onset of pain.

Dr. Tim Flynn who hosts the International Spine and Pain Institute's podcast says that changes on imaging are just common with age. We get “wrinkles on the inside”. These are normal age related changes, but we give them nasty names like “degeneration”, and “torn”, and “herniated”.

For the majority of people and chronic pain, these structural abnormalities are unrelated to the pain they are experiencing. The action of learning more information could help with rewiring the way you conceive of your pain.

And remember, this is not just for pain. This is for other body maladies like skin disorders, gi issues, allergies, or even asthma.

So back to our model, what other actions could I take to help sleep through the night? I could brainstorm and list maybe pages of things that I might be able to do just in my imagination to help me sleep at night.

Now, how would I need to feel to take those actions? I would say I would need to feel trusting. I really like that emotion. For me, it really embodies hope and belief, empowerment, and letting go.

You could look on an emotion chart to see what emotion you like the best. Try to feel it in your body.

What would I need to be thinking to feel trusting?

I like the thought, “I'm rewiring my brain and taking control of my health.”

The thought is really important though, it has to feel true to you. If you don't believe that you can rewire your brain, this will not generate the feeling of trust for you.

So just pretend and get creative here. Future models can be fun. We often don't even plan our futures with a purpose like this. Also, most of us start to think we are at the effects of our circumstances, or the all we're capable of doing is things that we've already done in the past.

But what if you had a magic wand and you could pick out a result? Most of us don't spend any time thinking about the results we want. Once we're adults, no one is asking us what we want to do and where we want to go. We just settle into our routines. And we don't think about our plan, what we want to do or where we want to be in five years.

We worry about the future. We want maybe something to be different in the future, so we can feel differently than we do now. But I think we should spend more time thinking about the results we want to have in our lives, and what we would need to do to achieve those results on purpose.

In Becoming Supernatural, Dr. Joe Dispenza describes his walking meditation. Where you totally embody how the person you want to be would talk or walk or even think by choosing, imagining, and visualizing details of the life you want to have, and the way you want to feel. This is the way you can achieve that reality.

Just like a method actor, you could play the part of a wealthy person or the calm person, or the unlimited person you want to be.

Your beliefs about yourself are all of your thoughts about yourself. So try to think of yourself more in these ways you want to become, or imagine how it would feel. Don't forget to pick an emotion that really moves or motivates you. Changing our brain takes energy. So the fastest way to create change and rewire our brain is to add the power of an emotion. By choosing with intent and purpose. Your mind can control your body rather than your body, controlling your mind.

So I want to share with you three different brain hack strategies that I found.

One is by BJ Fogg. I learned about him from the Untangle Podcast by Muse. BJ Fogg wrote a book called Tiny Habits, which I'm reading right now. It's awesome. It's based on 20 years of behavior research. And he created a behavior model, which explains our behaviors, in terms of a few different factors so that we can not blame our behaviors and inability to change them on us having character flaws or problems with our self discipline. But we can look at it more objectively about what all is going on.

So what I want to tell you about from him, though, is kind of a brain hack to forming new habits. He says the best way to create a new habit is to break it down into the tiniest possible steps, like the tiniest step, like flossing, one tooth Or just putting on your walking shoes. But creating this habit that you do consistently and making it part of your routine, or a prompt that you're consistent with.

So for example, if you're flossing your teeth, when you put your toothbrush down, you start by just flossing one tooth. And then the most important part is that you celebrate doing this first baby step. I found this part of it so interesting.

So in a few days, you can start flossing all of your teeth but you start by just building the habit, putting your toothbrush down, flossing, one tooth, and then in a few days, if you want to start flossing all of your teeth you can, but if you go back to just flossing the one tooth, you still celebrate that when you start seeing success that you have with these tiny habits. Then the motivation that you have to change really snowballs. It's kind of like a life hack to get your brain breaking out of the models from the past and starting to see yourself as a more confident, dynamic person that can change.

Then you start to naturally want to change and take on new challenges without needing to rely on willpower, or resistance or force.

The other thing I found interesting is that if you want to decrease a bad habit, like stop eating sugar, you don't even focus directly on stopping the bad habit initially. He starts by having you build positive, tiny habits. So maybe you would build some habits around starting an exercise routine, or making your bed something where you can be successful and build that power.

I love this. I really think of David Hawkins and the vibrations of the emotions and how much more powerful you'll be if you're coming from a place of courage, or even neutrality than if you're starting from a place of disgust or being critical of yourself. Most of the time we start our habits in a place where we're not liking where we are kind of disgusted with ourselves and already negative.

I love how in BJ Fogg’s model, the power of change is coming from success and positivity. So remember to start tiny, and celebrate the little changes.

Life Hack number two. I also found from the Untangle Podcast, they interviewed the author MJ Ryan, who wrote a book called Habit Changers. It's not on Audible yet, and I've ordered it and I haven't gotten it yet. So I might be sharing more from this brilliant author. It sounds like an amazing book. But at least from her interview, I was able to understand a few of her main ideas, and I think they're valuable and habit change.

She talks about how up to 90% of our behaviors throughout the day are automatic So our brain wants to be very efficient. It learns things like how to pour a glass of water or how to drive or how to believe certain things. And those behaviors are housed in the basal ganglia where habits live, and they just run and they're hardwired and they are hard to change.

So you really need to bring a lot of intention to changing a bad habit or forming a new habit. She says you end up doing the same old thing, not because you're weak, but because you're on automatic pilot.

She has 81 game changing mantras in her book, which are mantras that help override the autonomic nervous system. So they're not mantras like I am calm, I am calm, where you might not feel calm, necessarily, when you say them. She combines the statements with a few other key things. You have to have a “strong why” . You have to pick one thing that you want to work on changing. Pick one thing that you have the most motivation to change first, and to have a “strong why” you have to have a reminder of what you want to do.

You might put it on a card that you hold in your wallet, or have a bracelet or something that reminds you of this phrase that you want to say. Now the phrase or a mantra should be directive. It should tell you what to do not I am calm, I'm calm, but something that's directive, like, “reach for a better thought.”

Now, this I thought was super interesting. She talks about pairing your mantra with an action.

She references Amy Cuddy, a researcher who found the Wonder Woman pose or standing in a powerful position with your hands on your hips and your feet out wide. If people would stand like that for two minutes, it would significantly increase their testosterone, it would decrease their cortisol They would have more risk taking behaviors.

And in other studies, they found that similar positions, increase the pain threshold caused you to think more abstractly, and have helped people perform better in interviews when they're seated in a power position.

I think that's so cool because I've been a physical therapist for 16 years working with pediatrics. So I know that the way that children learn first is through their motor actions. So think of maybe clapping or pointing you might see a child do something like that before they would actually say the word or speak. In fact, a lot of kids learn to do finger plays or things like patty cake before they would say the words. So learning a motor action like a sign for sign language usually ends up that that is one of the first words that that child also says the one they've learned the physical sign for. So she suggests if you're working on patience or being more calm, you might want to touch your heart.

So this way, you're pairing a visual, if you have the reminder on a card, and audio hearing yourself, say the mantra, and a physical gesture, and that is much more powerful for change.

One of the mantras that I thought of when I was listening to the one she gave as an example, is “become curious, not critical.”

I would like to do that with my hand on my heart. I think that's the place where I feel the vibration of gratitude. And she also says that when you touch one or both hands to your heart, you increase the production of oxytocin, which is the feel good or the love hormone.

Here are a few other mantras that she suggests. “My response is my responsibility.” “Stop, breathe, rewind”. “You're on your own path.”

This one is one of my favorite favorites. “People do what people always do.” Isn't that great? It just relinquishes you from any power of trying to control anyone or judge anyone. You're letting people do what they do. And you're not surprised when people might disappoint you or not follow through, because that's part of what people do, right?

I think of this with kids, kids do what kids always do. And that might mean sometimes siblings are fighting or sometimes kids are drawing on the walls, or sometimes they're disrespecting you, (according to you.) And that's what kids do.

I think of this also, with our brains with all that we talk about. “Brains do what brains always do” when you catch yourself obsessing or worrying or going back to the past. You can just think up there's my brain. Again, it's working brains do what brains always do.

The last Life Hack is from Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach School. This is called the urge jar. I love this idea. It's so simple and brilliant. If you're working on changing a habit,

then anytime you have an urge that you don't give into, you put a bead in the urge jar.

So usually when we have an urge, we just try to resist it. And that's kind of like pushing that beach ball underwater. You can only do that for so long and have so much willpower. But with the urge jar, it's like a little hack for your brain, where you still get a reward, even though you haven't given into the urge. It's really fascinating how your brain likes this reward system. I really liked the urge jar and encourage you to try it.

So I challenge you to think of a result you want in your life. Try doing a model work backwards from the result line. Don't worry about how you're going to get it exactly. You can brainstorm at this point.

But if you could pick anything for yourself in the future, what would that result be? What actions would you need to take? What feelings would you need to feel? And what thoughts would you need to think?

If you can get to the place where you can think and believe a thought on purpose, it won't even matter what the circumstances of your life are.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode # 28- The Cause of your Suffering Aug 16, 2020

In this episode I talk about the cause of your suffering and how to eliminate it! The concept is straightforward, and it comes from this formula: pain x resistance = suffering.

Pain is part of life, but suffering is optional. And suffering is amplified by the amount of resistance we have.

Listen for examples of resistance and how to decrease your resistance by acceptance.

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Transcript-Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, episode 28, The Cause of Your Suffering. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind.
Hello, my friends. Today, we are going to talk about the cause of your suffering and how to eliminate your suffering. Now, if you're thinking, you don't know me, you don't know what the cause of my suffering is.
And it's true, I may not know the specific examples in your case unless you work with me as your coach. And then we can go through this specifically for you. But in general, I can tell you what causes suffering and how to stop it.
I think I talked about this equation in the episode about clean pain versus dirty pain. But in Buddhism, they have an equation that pain times resistance equals suffering. The first point that I want to make is that pain is a normal part of life.
I believe that about 50% of life is positive and about 50% is negative. And in that negative part, there is pain. There's mental pain, emotional pain, or physical pain that's kind of just part of life.
We should expect that that's there because if we didn't feel those negative emotions, we wouldn't even know what positive emotions are. We wouldn't have that contrast. And remember, pain actually does serve us.
If we have physical pain, that can warn us of danger. If we have emotional pain, it might signal that we need to make some kind of a change in our lives. If you think about all of the things that were invented in the world, it's because we wanted to somehow decrease our pain or we wanted to prevent pain.
The person who invented TVs with remotes wanted to make life a little bit easier, not have the pain of having to get up and change the channel or ask your kids to do it. The people who invented a sleep number bed wanted to decrease the discomfort of having a mattress that's too hard or too soft. Cars, phones, all of the great things that we have in our lives have been thought of by people who wanted to make life easier, make life less painful.
So just realizing that pain is going to happen no matter how much we hate it or don't think it should be there, pain is a part of life. The part that we do have control over in the equation is how much resistance we have to the pain. So if pain times resistance equals suffering, then the more resistance we have to the pain, the more suffering we will have.
If our resistance is zero, then pain times zero equals zero. There's zero suffering. So pain is a part of life, but suffering about that pain is optional.
So if you tell me you have a lot of suffering in your life, then even if I don't know the specifics, I know that you are resisting something. You are resisting some pain. So what is resistance?
What does that look like? It could look like denying what is. It could be wishing things were different.
It could be trying to control things that are out of your control. So that includes other people, acts of God or the universe. Basically anything other than ourselves and our thoughts, if we're trying to control them, can lead to some resistance.
It's like a tightening up. It's like a withdrawing. It's an emotion of fear and of scarcity, and it's uncomfortable.
You could have resistance about things that happened in the past. And this is so, so common, right? When something painful in the past has happened, we have that 2020 vision of the past.
We think we could have done it differently. We should have done things differently. They shouldn't have happened that way.
And these are normal things to feel. Our brain wants to learn from the past and make different changes for the future. But our primal brain also wants to keep us in fear and wants to keep us always on the lookout for danger.
And so we interpret the past through this lens of things have gone wrong. How do we change this for the future? Why did this happen?
And a lot of times blame ourselves. But I really like how Byron Katie looks at the past. She is a lover of reality.
And so whatever the reality that happened, she accepts it. In fact, she says things were supposed to happen exactly that way. We know that because that's how it happened.
So be really careful when you're looking at things in your past. Are you looking at it with a mindset of this is something that I can learn from? Or are you looking at it like this shouldn't have happened?
This is unfair. Why did this happen? I can't accept this.
This was wrong. And that's for sure not easy to do. I can use something that happened to me this week as an example.
I was dropped from my car insurance because of having a couple of accidents. And the new policy that I had to get is significantly more. And so I was going through each of those incidents and thinking of all the things that I should have done differently or that basically it just wasn't my fault.
It was the other person's fault. So I had a lot of resistance. About things that happened in the past that I couldn't change.
And it made me pretty mad. And I definitely spent some time this week suffering every time I would think of the past and how it shouldn't have happened that way. I've heard of this happening a lot when there's a death.
People will say, I should have called to check in on this person, or I should have checked my rear view mirror, or, you know, all of these things that seem so rational. If you look back at the situation, I could have done this differently. But the fact is, in that moment, things happened exactly as they were supposed to.
We know that because that's how it happened. And maybe if that seems too fatalistic for you, then think of it like there were multiple things involved, other people's models, other people's decisions. And if you could somehow make some kind of equation or algorithm out of all of the moving parts and pieces and factors that could not be controlled by me, well, that's how it ended up in that moment of time.
So the more you can let go of things that have happened in the past, the more you can accept that that's the way they happened, and it was for learning or it was for some reason, or maybe that's just how life is, then the less resistance you have to the pain and the less suffering. It doesn't mean that there won't be pain, but you could eliminate the suffering. It's totally what I talked about in the clean pain versus dirty pain episode.
There's some clean pain, and then when you add resistance and their suffering, that's the dirty pain. That's the pain that you're causing yourself. You could have resistance to what is going on in the present moment.
And again, it's like a denial of reality. This shouldn't be happening. I don't like that this is happening.
I can't handle this. I'm too weak. I'm too overwhelmed.
And then often in the present moment, we tend to think of the future and have some thoughts of resistance about that pain in the future. How long will this pain last? What does this mean about what's going on?
So for example, if you hurt your knee and you've had knee pain before, you might think, this is like pain I've had before. And it might mean something about the future. It took me three months to get over this pain before.
So does that mean I'm going to have pain for three months? Did I damage something that is irreparable? Am I going to have to spend a lot of time and money trying to fix it?
Is it possible that I won't be able to fix it and I'll have to live with pain the rest of my life? What if I'm not able to hike the mountain I wanted to hike next year? I mean, our brain can give us endless resistance about things in the future.
A lot of what ifs and worst case scenarios. And part of it is because our brains are designed to like stories and to like having completion of stories. So Brené Brown talks about how there's actually some dopamine that you get when you have something that makes sense to your brain and kind of completes this question in a story form.
So if your knee hurts and you don't have an explanation as to why, your brain goes to work on trying to figure out all of these things, what it could mean, having some kind of story to go along with it that explains it, even if it ends up causing you a lot of suffering. I see a lot of resistance when we reject the emotions that we have. And this ties in so closely with the work on chronic pain and disease.
Dr. John Sarno talks a lot about how trying to repress the emotions that we have that we find unacceptable is actually what causes our physical pain. So one example that I can totally relate to is a new parent with an infant. Of course, you love your child, but there are times that are very, very difficult.
You could be sleep deprived. You might have a cranky child. There are times that you feel less than loving towards your infant, but you don't want to hate your baby.
You don't think that that is something that a parent should do. And of course, deep down, you have love for your child, but there are moments where you might really wish that you didn't have that baby in your life right now. And then when you have resistance to that thought, then you create a lot more suffering for yourself.
And again, with those stories, you kind of try to make it mean something. How could I have a thought that I don't like my infant right now? That's a horrible thing for a new mother or father to think.
That must mean that I'm a horrible person. I really have problems. How could I hate my child?
You don't want to acknowledge that that frustration or regret might be there. And so you stuff it down. You repress those emotions.
You have a lot of resistance. And that can literally cause you to experience pain in your body. That emotion that you're not feeling could show up as pain in your back or pain in your neck or GI issues or autoimmune disorders.
So resistance to the emotions that we have as normal humans that have the whole spectrum of emotions, and sometimes they're not pleasant, can definitely lead to more suffering. When we beat ourselves up, that's another form of resistance that adds to our suffering. And this is, again, a very natural thing that we want to do.
It's normal for our brains to want to go into this critical mode. It almost feels like we're going to be better people if we can just beat ourselves up enough, if we can criticize ourselves enough for our negativity, then that will inspire us to be better people. But in this case, two negatives don't make a positive, two wrongs don't make a right.
So when we tend to layer on the negativity on top of what we're already feeling, that's a good example of resistance that leads to suffering. So be on the lookout for times that you guilt yourself for feeling guilty or you're angry at yourself for feeling angry, or you feel ashamed that you have so much shame. Realize this is your primitive brain in its default mode.
So nothing's wrong with your brain when this happens, but we're going to try to evolve our brains here to be the watcher of what's going on, to notice it, to press pause, to see what is really happening, and to make different choices and think thoughts on purpose. So be on the lookout for this. It can happen with emotional pain.
It can happen with physical pain. It can happen where there is some emotional pain, and then you add resistance to it, and then the suffering ends up being a physical manifestation of that pain. Our emotions cause physical changes in our bodies.
Think of crying. There's something physical that happens in response to an emotion, and it can happen just the same way with chronic pain and disease. So what are the causes of your suffering?
Think about how you suffer in your day to day life, and then think about the resistance that could be causing that suffering. Remember, if the resistance is zero, you can still have pain, but the result, the suffering, will be zero. And if you would like more help with this, with your specific examples of your life, because often we have blind spots to ourselves, it's easier to see in other people how they have resistance, but it's sometimes hard to see in ourselves.
But if you're looking to dive deeper, to evolve your brain, to uplevel your life, then check out my website, bodyandmindlifecoach.com, where you can sign up for a free consult call with me, and we can talk about specifically in your life, how this applies to you. And if you've been enjoying this podcast, please go over to iTunes, give it a quick rating that can take just 30 seconds or less. And if you can carve out just a few minutes of your time, please leave a review too.
It helps this podcast be found by more people, and I really appreciate it. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me.
Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode # 27- Sneaky Little Thoughts Aug 03, 2020

It's easy to identify thoughts that are obviously negative. Some thoughts sound pretty and nice, but come from emotions of fear or scarcity. Thoughts like, "I just want everyone to get along" or "I want to be a better person" are examples of thoughts that are well meaning, but don't create positive emotions when we think them. And of course, we will talk about sneaky little thoughts that are common with chronic pain and disease.

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Episode # 26- Somatic Tracking, a Meditation for Self Healing Jul 21, 2020

This is a special episode where I take you through a 15 minute somatic tracking/meditation exercise.

Chronic Pain is mainly neuroplastic pain (pain created by the brain and felt in the body).

It is usually interpreted with certain thoughts or emotions

-fear, frustration, uncertainty, despair, sadness,

There are thoughts like what did I do? How long will this last? How can I get rid of the pain? How can I avoid it?

We may think there are certain positions that are safe and some that are dangerous.

These thought and feelings reinforce to the brain that there is something to be scared of, which strengthens the neural pathways that produce more pain

Somatic tracking is a way to reframe the sensations in your body from a lens of neutrality or safety. It helps you change understanding of what the actual sensation is. In chronic pain the brain is over reacting to perfectly neutral totally safe sensations. When pain is no longer dangerous, the brain stops making more pain.

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Transcript- Automatically generated:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 26, Somatic Tracking, A Meditation for Pain. In this podcast, we learned to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become Unstoppable Body and Mind.
Hello, my friends. We have kind of a special podcast episode today because I'm gonna take you through a meditation for pain. Hopefully, that didn't deter anyone.
We're not going to try to increase our pain. It's a meditation for when you feel pain. It's also called Somatic Tracking by Cureable.
That's where I learned of that term. And basically, we'll be addressing the neuroplastic pain or the pain that the brain produces that's felt in your body. This can happen especially with chronic pain.
Most of the pain that people feel is coming from the brain where it is interpreting safe signals of the body as if the signals were dangerous. Pain is a danger signal. So if you have your hand on a hot stove, you're gonna feel that pain so that you remove your hand and don't cause more damage.
But with chronic pain, the brain begins to interpret these danger signals where there is none. Especially over the last five to 10 years in neuroscience, they've found that the majority of chronic pain is not caused by structural problems in the body, but by neural pathways in the brain. So many MRI studies have been done that they have taken healthy people, that when they do MRIs in certain areas of their body, do see that they may have arthritis, even bulging discs or a torn rotator cuff or meniscus, and have no sensation of pain.
So there's no evidence that there is cause and effect relationship between a structural abnormality in your body and the feeling of pain. Chronic pain is basically a false alarm. When pain becomes chronic, the brain becomes even more hypersensitive to pain.
Like it's always on the lookout for anything that might be dangerous or trigger it. There was a study where they played an annoying sound for people like nails on a chalkboard, and the people who had chronic pain, their brains reacted 25% more to that sound. So people who have chronic pain signals have a hypersensitized brain for any kind of danger.
Usually people who have chronic pain have certain thoughts or emotion patterns. Fear is one of the biggest ones. There could also be frustration or uncertainty or even despair or sadness.
There could be thoughts like, oh, what did I do? How did I hurt it? How long will this last?
How can I get rid of the pain? How can I avoid it? How come it's not getting better?
Is it always going to be like this? There may be thoughts about what certain positions are safe and which ones might be dangerous. And all of these thoughts and feelings reinforce to the brain that there's something to be scared of, which strengthens the neural pathway that produces more pain.
It's like the brain is always on the lookout for anything that could be dangerous and turns up the volume signal for any of those things that could cause you damage in order to keep you safe. So what we're going to do here is pay attention to the sensation you're feeling in your body while you're in either a curious or a positive emotional state. So looking at it through a lens of safety and not coming from fight or flight will allow your brain to rewire how it perceives the pain.
Our goal is to change the understanding of what that sensation actually is. Your brain is overreacting to a totally safe sensation that's perfectly neutral. The more you can practice feeling the sensation with a neutral or curious emotion, you can rewire your brain to make less pain.
Your brain realizes the sensation is no longer dangerous. It's totally safe. And so the brain stops making more pain.
So find a comfortable spot. You could be laying, sitting. You could have your legs up on a wall as you lay on the floor.
You could be in a recliner or laying on your side or even standing if that's most comfortable to you. But get comfortable, and we'll start.
I want you to start by noticing your breathing. Start trying to take deeper breaths if this feels comfortable to you. And pay attention to how easy it is for you to breathe deeper and deeper.
Deeper and deeper.
Where do you notice your breath most? In your nose, in your throat, in your chest, in your stomach?
Allow yourself to breathe a little deeper and a little slower.
And just notice how breathing is safe.
Breathing more deeply and slowly can help relax your brain and your nervous system and your body. Unstoppable Body.
Now, notice any sensations in your body. Do a body scan. Where do you feel any sensation?
And what do you feel there?
If you have sensations in multiple areas of your body, then pick one to focus on.
Describe that area.
Is it on the right side or the left side? Is it in the middle? Is it widespread or is it localized?
Is it deep or is it where you could touch it on the surface?
Remember, your brain has been interpreting this sensation as dangerous, but it's just a sensation in your body. Maybe it's not dangerous.
Imagine if you could describe this sensation to someone else, maybe an alien that's never experienced what it feels like. How could you describe it? What is it?
Is it sharp or dull? Is it tight, aching, burning, tingling? Does it feel like pressure?
Does it stay in one place or does it move?
Is it constant or does it come and go?
Keep paying attention to the sensation and watch it. You don't need to get rid of it or run away from it. You don't need to be scared of it.
Think of a feeling of pressure. You might get a massage and feel pressure that does feel good. It's not dangerous.
What if the feeling is burning? Have you ever had a burning that feels good like in a hot tub?
So it's not the sensation that's negative or disruptive. It's our brain's interpretation of the sensation as being dangerous. That's what makes it uncomfortable.
If you've had pain in this area for years or decades, then there is neurogenic pain, pain produced by your brain because it does not feel safe.
So imagine that part of your body that has sensation. Imagine that part is not in danger. It's your brain overreacting to the sensation.
You feel some sensory input. You can feel it right now. But your body itself is safe.
Imagine watching the sensation like you would if you were a passenger on a train. You're just watching what's going on and not reacting to it. It's effortless.
Explore it with interest and curiosity.
Think to yourself, even though I am feeling this uncomfortable sensation, I accept myself and honor how I feel.
I am safe.
If the pain moves around, follow it, like that passenger on a train that is along for the ride.
Give yourself permission to feel the sensation wherever it goes or whatever it feels like.
Give yourself permission to relax and notice.
Think of it like a firework show. You can watch it and be intrigued and curious.
But your brain is like a dog that reacts to fireworks with fear, thinking the world might be ending. This is how your brain is used to thinking of pain.
But you can imagine you are a human that knows that you can watch these fireworks from a safe place and they cannot hurt you. And you can observe calmly what is happening in your body.
Think to yourself, even though I have been so frustrated or scared by this pain, I accept that there is sensation right now and honor how I feel. I can feel curious about this pain.
If my brain wanders, I can let it wander. I can just follow it and see where it goes, just like the pain in my body may be moving or changing or lessening. I can open up to it and continue to breathe calmly as I notice the feelings.
Breathe in lightness and energy.
Exhale anything toxic, anything dark or anything not serving you.
As you breathe in, let the breath go to the area that you have sensation. Imagine it like a flashlight illuminating the area, so you can see what's in there.
Keep breathing air into the area and let it flow inside your body. Release any negativity when you exhale. Maybe you can listen to your body.
It's safe to listen to this pain, to address how you're feeling, and let it go.
Maybe focus on the breathing and add some movement to your body. Stretch your arms up or straighten your legs. Feel the muscles in the joints, stretch and relax.
If there's a way your body wants to move, to stretch and to feel good, experience the positive sensations of movement.
Think to yourself, what is it about my pain that stresses me out the most?
If there was an emotion in this part of my body, what would it be?
Would you feel anger, anxiety, stress, disappointment, frustration, sadness, grief, overwhelm?
Do you remember when you first started experiencing this pain? What was going on in your life at that time?
Think back, like you're watching a movie of what was going on in your life when you developed this pain. If it was an accident, replay that accident in your head.
Try and feel if there was something else going on in your life at that time that might have been causing tension or stress.
As you replay the movie, think of what was going on.
Notice how you can release some of the tension and stress at this time. As you acknowledge these emotions, you begin to let them go.
Keep breathing and relaxing as you replay this movie and think of that time in your life.
Can you acknowledge any negative emotions you had at the time?
Begin to let them go.
Notice that when you play this movie, you may feel some sensation.
When you acknowledge the pain behind the pain, it begins to lessen. Your body begins to relax.
Think to yourself, this is how I felt. This is what I've been holding on to. This is what I'm letting go.
Your body begins to relax more and more step by step as you let go.
Check in with your body now, and notice if the sensation has changed.
Enjoy the movement of the breath. Know that right now, you are safe.
Even if the pain is still there, you can focus on your breathing and feeling safe. This is literally healing your brain, rewiring the signal to be less responsive and to create less pain.
Feel whatever sensation, if there still is some, from this calm state.
The pain may subside or it may come back at times, but that's okay. The goal is not to prevent the pain from ever coming back. The goal is to change the way you respond when it does.
Reacting with fear or panic reinforces to the brain that there's something wrong and keeps the pain cycle going.
But no, it's not dangerous. It's just a misinterpretation by the brain. You can still breathe and feel safe.
Choose to breathe and relax.
We will end with some positive affirmations. You can either repeat them in your mind or out loud after me. When you say these words, bring them to life.
Bring the meaning of these words into every cell of your body.
All right, you guys, great job today. Think of how you felt before you began this and how your body is feeling now. And remember, this meditation is only 15 minutes.
So in your 24-hour day, this will only take you a short amount of time. And the more times you are focusing on this and doing this work, it will rewire your brain faster. And if you want one-on-one coaching with me to figure these things out a little deeper for yourself, then head over to my website, bodyandmindlifecoach.com, or email me at info at bodyandmindlifecoach.com.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review.
And of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know that wants an Unstoppable Body and Mind.

Episode #25- Healing Back Pain with Matt Jul 13, 2020

in this episode I interview Matt, who had debilitating back pain for 10 years. He just finished my 6 week coaching program and has some amazing results.

Not only is he pain free most of the time, he learned mental tools to improve the relationships, and spirituality in his life. He learned emotions can be felt and processed instead of repressed and felt as pain.

Matt is actively pursuing new goals, now that his mind is free of the mental preoccupation with and fear of pain. He understands the importance on investing in his mental capacities, just like we know a healthy diet and exercise is good for the body. He sets aside time daily for mental work and focus.

Matt feels like he has been on "maintenance mode" for the last 10 years, and is now able to live hope for a future he is in charge of. Amazing results!

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Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind—Episode 25–Healing Back Pain with Matt.

In this podcast we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life. Become unstoppable, body and mind.

Hey, Matt, good to have you here.

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Oh, my pleasure. Matt just finished coaching with me for six weeks. And we're going to talk about some of the things that he learned and how it went. Matt, could you start by just talking a little bit about your history of back pain?

Yeah, so I've had debilitating back pain for a little over ten years now. And I've tried everything. I've been open to trying everything: every physician, holistic medicine, full therapy, acupuncture stem cells, I mean, the list goes on and on. So I really have been on a long journey of trying to deal with my issues.

Yeah. And what was your activity level?

I couldn't do much at all, which was very frustrating. I was very active before, very athletic, played some sports in college—a big way I dealt with stress. When my back started acting up, I couldn't do really any physical activity and so it was very, very difficult for me from an emotional standpoint as well.

Yeah, I remember you saying you couldn't lift more than about twenty pounds.

No, yeah. And I just had to be really careful. Anything I lifted had to be pretty light and I couldn't bend over day to day, things were difficult. I mean, I even went through periods where like, I couldn't put my socks on. I had to have my wife help me put my socks on. So yeah, it was pretty bad.

Yeah. And I think there was a lot of fear involved too, right? Like there was fear about exercise or doing too much.

Yeah, for sure. I got to the point where I felt like I could manage things, like keep things from getting worse. And in my mind, there were certain things that would make it worse. And so yeah, I would say I had a huge fear of doing anything outside of the safe activities. I would stay away from them as much as I could. And any time I came close to doing something that I thought would mess my back up, I would just be very anxious and just nervous and yeah, huge fear component for sure.

So it was really affecting your life in a lot of ways.

Yeah, definitely. And then your wife is a coach, and she reached out to me, and you had just gotten John Sarno’s book right before we started coaching,

My wife let me know about you. I had never really entertained the idea that part of my pain could be associated with the way I'm thinking about it and essentially stem from my mind, my subconscious, my emotions. Before I went on our first call, I picked up John Sarno's book, Healing Back Pain and read it. I read it in like an hour. I read it cover to cover. It was really exciting.

That's awesome.

Yeah, I remember my first feeling when I was reading the book was it was never on my radar. I don't know, even if it had been on my radar, if I would have been open to it. But I remember feeling for the first time when I was reading that book for like the first time in ten years, like hope, I guess a little hopeful that I wasn't stuck with these back issues for the rest of my life that hey, maybe there was a light at the end of the tunnel for me. It was really exciting actually.

That's awesome. And I know he talks specifically about personality traits, like perfectionism and people pleasing being highly correlated with back pain or chronic pain in general. And how do you think that resonated with you?

I felt both of those described me well, as we spoke about it. I really felt like a lot of my emotional anxiety had to do with my desire to people please. One of the other things he talked about was anger and kind of subdued anger. And I thought I had no issues but even diving into that to realize that, hey, I was repressing things and not dealing with things and thinking I didn't have issues, but really did. I just wasn't dealing with them.

So how do you feel like you started to unrepress those emotions to get them out?

So there are a few things. And honestly, this is where you were so helpful, right? So I read the book and really, John Sarno was like, okay, you know, a lot of this chronic pain is in your mind. So just go out and exercise. You're fine, basically. Right? And I'm thinking okay, for me, I couldn't just flip that switch. And so, you know, you gave me a lot of tools to help get me there. One of the first things was the journaling or the mind dumping, right, so just kind of writing down emotions. And it was helpful for me to just focus on a certain emotion and just kind of write down everything I felt and kind of let myself almost be a child again in that sense, and just feel the raw emotions and write down what I was thinking no matter how bad I thought it was. And it was really, honestly, it was a really great emotional experience to do that. And to feel those things, let myself feel them.

It's interesting, because I think we don't talk about a lot of emotions in our society, and especially for men, that's kind of frowned upon almost to be emotional or to acknowledge that you have emotions, right?

Yeah, for sure. I think there's that stigma, right? The strong man doesn't cry, or, you know, in my case, I should be this nice, calm person. So I don't get angry. That's kind of who I built myself up to be. I think a lot of people when they do think about letting some of those emotions out, they're kind of worried that rage is going to just take over then or that they are going to become this angry person if they start validating that they have anger.

Did you experience any of that?

I experienced that feeling initially. Right when I first started, I had the thought, Well wait, I can't write this down because that makes it real, right? And then that makes me a bad person, but I just kind of pushed through it, like per your advice, and I just went for it. And if anything, it all kind of spilled out. The first session, I went for, like 30-45 minutes. I had just pages of these raw, raw emotions and then you had me do a little meditation exercise afterwards and it felt so peaceful and calming. And I felt like I was just kind of getting the gunk out of me and I felt like cleansed, if anything. It didn't hang around and have the opposite effect.

I think a lot of people, like I said, are just kind of worried about once I open those floodgates, then what's going to happen, you know, I've been containing these things for so long and it feels more safe to not acknowledge the emotion. Yeah, it's good that you had that experience. And I think at some point, you can kind of just allow the emotions and let them flow through you and not bottle them up.

Right. Another thing that was really helpful was realizing that our emotions aren’t scary, right? I mean, they're just these feelings in our body and when we're able to recognize them and pay attention to them, we realize, okay, what does that emotion mean? I mean, it's nothing crazy. Maybe it's a slight tightness in my chest. But honestly, if I pay attention to it, it goes away pretty quickly, and it causes no harm or anything. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it's a pretty minor thing.

Do you feel like you've noticed how emotions do correlate with sensations or maybe even pain in your body?

Yeah, for sure. And then another thing that has been really helpful for me during our sessions is being able to focus on the pain. You took me through exercises where I kind of just felt the pain almost from a neutral position where I wasn't scared of it. I wasn't anxious. I just almost looked at it as a third party and just kind of observed it. That has been super helpful from the pain standpoint. But also from an emotional standpoint, I found myself doing the same thing. Whenever I had emotions pop up, and I'm like, “Okay, let's just observe what this feels like in my body.” And yeah, I felt like I haven't had the tools to better deal with the things that have popped up on a day to day basis. Even taking away all the pain stuff, just from an emotional standpoint. Those two, yeah.

Yeah, the pain is sometimes viewed as a gateway to kind of this bigger expanse of knowledge that you're able to access and really, how do you feel like it's affected your life to have this new view of emotions and pain?

Yeah, huge. It's been like a huge, huge thing. And again, something I don't think I would have been open to before. I think it's not talked about as much in our society where we're very conscious about our physical health, right. And you know, we diet, and we exercise and we do all these things, but we're not super proactive about our mental health unless something's really wrong, right? And then we maybe go see a counselor or a therapist or take some medication, but I realize I need to be as proactive with my mental health as I am with my physical health. And it's been super eye opening and super helpful that way.

Yeah. Because these tools, I mean, you can apply them to pain and healing. But you can also apply these same tools to, you know, getting results that you want in your life achieving goals. Just that mindfulness is so important, right?

Yeah, I agree 100%. Yeah, you can apply it all over the spectrum.

One of the things I really was impressed with with you is that you did a lot of studying on your own when I would suggest maybe reading something or listening to a podcast, you would do that and you tried the Curable App. Were there some things that you found helpful outside of the coaching as well?

Yeah, I think one of the great things about going again through it with you is you had a lot of tools for me. So yeah, the Curable App was really helpful, very well put together. There's a lot in there and so much to choose from, but they obviously are experts in their field and really sound like they have a passion for helping people with chronic disease and pain and so that was really helpful. You recommended a tapping app that was helpful as well for some meditation practices. So yeah, I felt like you had really great tools, but it was very helpful to be able to walk through using the tools with you and not just on my own.

Ah, great. Thank you. I think the one on one sessions really add a lot too. Of course there are a lot of resources that are available. To do things on your own, but having the guidance just as that little extra addition to really help get things going quickly and see some results faster. I was thinking about one of the times that we started working on having you imagine yourself doing activities. Do you remember that? People might find it interesting to hear how that went for you. When you were sitting in a safe place. You weren't moving your back at all, but you were imagining yourself doing things. What happened for you?

I think you asked me to imagine jogging and I couldn't bring myself even to imagine jogging, like I couldn't picture myself doing it—my mind almost felt like I had a block there. And yeah, just with me, I almost had the sensation that my mind was trying to protect me like okay, that's so harmful that you don't even want to think about it. And it was a super enlightening process for me to realize, hey, my mind is this powerful, but at the same time, it's holding on to some things that aren't true. And I was able to kind of, you know, work through them again, with help. And it wasn't like right away. It wasn't like flipping a switch. We had to do some exercises to get to the point where I could even imagine myself doing some smaller things. But yeah, in the end, I was able to get past and even imagine doing that.

I think you said your back muscles were tightening up just sitting there and imagining that, right?

Yeah, I did feel that. When we were talking about it I remembered. Yeah. So I got some of that same tightness and pressure that I would get from trying to do an activity that I knew I “shouldn't be doing.”

It's fascinating. It just goes to show that the brain can produce pain signals that you feel in your body. Even though there isn't a physical stimulus causing that to happen just purely by imagination, you are creating pain in your back.

Right? And then conversely, I mean, when you had me observe the pain and they do the same thing on the Curable App, as you know, if you're able to kind of be totally neutral and observe your pain, it just almost like melted away and not every time, but a lot of times, you know, and it would just kind of go away and it was really eye opening for me and made me realize, hey, this pain isn't 100%. You know, this pain isn't structural. I don't have some structural damage going on to my back. This has been generated by my mind.

I think that was a fascinating experience to probably realize that connection is so strong, because I think a lot of times we assume pain means something's gone wrong with the body that we need to fix physically.

Yeah, I know for sure that was a big, big eye opener for me.

So how is your activity level? Now? It's been a couple of weeks since we talked actually. So maybe there's some new things you've been trying?

I'm actually doing well. I'm doing things I haven't done in years and years. I'm back to, you know, swimming, which I hadn't been able to swim for a long time. And that was one of the things I did enjoy as a form of exercise. I'm back to doing some kind of yoga/pilates type things. That again, I haven't done because I didn't think I could do it. I was just too scared of what I would do. Yeah, been more active in general, with the family, hiking, things like that. So a lot of things that I haven't been able to do in a long, long time. I've been able to do very quickly, you know, considering this has been going on so long, and it's just been, you know, less than a couple months, right?

Yeah. That is amazing. I think you told me about like on a Saturday where you were helping some people move and you are lifting heavy things.

And we're actually building a shed for someone's Eagle Scout project. And I remember in the past and even then I didn't like to go to these things because I wanted to help. But also, I felt embarrassed that I couldn't do things, right. Like, if someone's like, “Hey, can you grab this for me?” And I'd be super embarrassed. You know, I'm a young, from all outward appearances, healthy guy. And I can't lift this up for you, right. And so, you know, there was maybe an element of pride there. But I would often avoid like things like helping people move and helping people with outdoor projects. But we went and again, I was a little nervous. And one of the first things someone said, “Hey, can you grab this for me?” And I'm thinking, ah, that looks really heavy. And I was nervous. But anyway, I ended up spending like six hours there and did stuff I hadn't done in a long time. And I remember leaving, and I was super sore all over the place, but not my back. My back wasn't sore. I had all kinds of sore muscles that I hadn't used in years and years, like a good sore, right, like I worked out. So yeah, it was it was great.

How would you describe your pain level now?

Honestly, I don't, you know, it's not completely gone. But I feel like when it does come, I'm able to, again, right away I go back to our exercise and I just try to observe it. And most of the time I can, you know, get it to relax and it feels okay. And so I mean, most of the time I'm running pain free.

That's amazing. Yeah. And what I teach a lot is to have people when they do have a sense of pain, to look at it as you know, kind of a time to check in what could be going on emotionally or mentally, of course, physically too, but most of the time, I think, you know, instead of thinking what's the physical cause of this pain, we can start to think the other ways too.

Yeah, no, and that's actually one of the things I've changed just in my daily life. I didn't really spend a whole lot of time on my personal well being and improvement and so I've set aside some time and I've made a goal to kind of every day I have a little bit of time where I'm kind of focused. On the mental and the spiritual aspect of things, and that's been really helpful. And so I'm trying to be really proactive there and not just try to respond to like, Oh, hey, my back's flared up what could be going on? I think that's been helpful for me staying on top of it that way.

It sounds like you really have been able to expand in different areas of your life as well. Now that you're not in fear of the pain and focusing on pain. It's really opened up a lot for you.

Yeah, I think just emotionally I mean, I'm feeling a lot more peace, but too I'm just hopeful for, I guess, more possibilities in the future. I always thought, okay, I'll work as long as I can. And eventually, maybe I'll retire early because my back won't be able to take it and then you know, after that, I guess I'll just kind of maintain but you know, now I almost got a whole different hope and viewpoint that hey, I mean, all these possibilities are open for me. So, for me, that's super exciting.

That is exciting. Do you have any new goals now?

Yeah. I mean, I've set some different business goals and some goals that I'm working on with my wife. I've got exercise goals. Yeah, I feel like I have all these huge goals that I set, maybe I had before. And then were on the back burner, because I'm like, I was just almost in maintenance mode for the last ten years. I'm like, Okay, well, I'll just get through it kind of a thing. And I'm not at that point anymore.

Well, and another interesting thing to point out is that this has been a year that's been particularly hard for a lot of people. There's a lot of things going on with Corona and with, you know, riots and with just the state of the world. It's been a hard year for a lot of people.

Yeah, that is interesting, because honestly, for me, I'm going to look back at 2020 as a year where I've made so much progress, and that's not to take away I know there's a lot of things going on around us and people are hurting physically and emotionally, you know, but at the same time, what's the quote, I'm a firm believer that, you know, our circumstances don't dictate our emotions and outcomes. Sometimes we think they do and sometimes we let them but they don't need to. Right? And so for me, it's been a great time to progress emotionally, spiritually. And honestly, I was out of work for a few months and having that downtime was super helpful to kind of take a break and just reset things a little bit for me, something I would not have done probably, otherwise on my own.

Yeah, that's very cool. Do you have any advice for people who are struggling with back pain or chronic pain?

Yeah, it's hard for me. I had to go through all the steps, I think to get to the point where I was open to something like this. And that was just my mind, right? I guess my background going to school and you know, I wasn't going to believe it unless it was scientifically proven. And there's very little science on this, although there's a lot more now. I mean, now that I've been researching and reading, there's a lot of science on it just not as talked about, right? I mean, you go to the physician and “Okay, this is wrong here, here's your pill. And this is going to mask your pain.” Right? So I guess I would hope that people would give themselves permission to be open to this, right? I didn't give myself permission to be open until I had exhausted everything and then almost felt at rock bottom. And sometimes I guess we need to do that. But how nice would it have been for me years ago to give myself permission to explore some other avenues of what could be wrong? So there's no harm in exploring this avenue and trying, right? I mean, we talked at one point and I told you I mean, I spent tens of thousands of dollars easy in the last ten years just with different avenues and nothing really improved it and so for me, this is just a no brainer.

I think a lot of people are starting to see the value of coaching just for mental acuity and living with purpose, but especially, you know how it ties into the pain that might be, you know, devastating your life right now or even chronic disease, the connection is just not talked about as much. But definitely I think it's important and coaching I think can be super helpful for just mental hygiene is what I call it where it's like, just like you were saying, we want to be physically fit. We want to eat healthy foods, we know that exercise is helpful for our bodies. And we're just I think, right at the cusp of starting to realize that the same is true for our mental capacities. You know, that we can clean up our thinking and that we can really live our very best lives once we are working on our mental hygiene and mindfulness as well.

Yeah, I would a hundred percent agree and I would say as much pain as I was in and as great as I feel now. If you took that whole aspect away, and I didn't feel any physical improvement, just the tools to deal with some emotions and the mental tools are worth it, for sure, just that alone, but add on everything else, and it's, it's a no brainer for me.

Fantastic. All right. Well, thank you so much for your time today.

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

What a great interview with Matt, I think that is going to help and inspire a lot of people on their healing journeys. I do believe that coaching provides one on one feedback and support that can really help with this process. So if you're curious about coaching, or if you've been working on things on your own and you feel like you're just not getting the results that you want, then please email me at info@bodyandmindlifecoach.com and check out my website, bodyandmindlifecoach.com.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And, of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know who wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #24 - Failure Jul 07, 2020

In this episode I talk about failure. Why we hate failing, how we "fail ahead of time" by not trying, and how to view failure in a positive way. Failure is not something to be avoided at all costs, this keeps us stuck and not trying. Failing is part of living your best life.

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Episode 23- Einstein Time Jun 26, 2020

In this episode I discuss the concept that time is relative- Einstein time!

Do you feel like you are a victim of time- that there is never enough or that your results aren't happening fast enough? Do you feel like you should be busy in order to be a worthy human?

Time is actually a neutral phenomenon, so blaming time or feeling like a victim is a powerless place to be.

Take control of how you see time- and learn that you can make time!

Learn about Einstein time and how it can bring about greater peace in your life and in your healing journey.

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Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind—Episode 23–Einstein Time.

In this podcast we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life. Become unstoppable, body and mind.

Hello, my friends, this is Episode 23, where we are going to talk about Einstein Time. If you haven't heard of that, I first heard about it in The Big Leap, the book by Gay Hendricks and he talks about time in a way that he said Einstein explained. So basically, time is relative. So just like there is Newtonian physics and quantum physics, there's also Newtonian time. Which would be that there are sixty seconds in a minute and twenty-four hours in a day and seven days in a week. That's very quantifiable and measurable, and Newtonian. And then Einstein time is based more on our perception of time, which can be different from person to person or situation.

So if you think about putting your hand on a burning-hot stove for a minute, that could feel as long as an hour. But if you are with someone that you love, and you're enjoying your time, an hour might pass by and feel just like a minute. Basically, when you're trying to escape from your current experiences, like with your hand on a hot stove, you're contracting away or you're fighting for what's going on. It makes time go more slowly. But with your beloved, you're completely open and time essentially disappears.

You've heard the term “Time flies when you're having fun” or I think too when you're busy doing something, time can go faster. I've had a job before where I did not have much to do, which I thought would be awesome. But time would just drag on and it felt like forever. But when I was more busy, then time seemed to go by quite quickly. Or if you think about taking a timed test, or sometimes I think about those shows where they have to like bake a cake for a competition in an hour, and how quickly an hour can go by. Also, when you're in the zone, you know, when you're in flow time, it's like time almost contracts.

I think for most of us, I know definitely for me, time has almost seemed like an enemy. There was just not enough time. There's always too much to do. Those were some of my main core beliefs in life that I didn't even realize I had. When I saw myself in relation to time I was this helpless victim and I would blame things on time that I just didn't have enough. I didn't get that done because I ran out of time. But really time is neutral. If you think about the model, time would be on the circumstance line. So it wasn't time that was good or bad, or abundant or scarce. It was just my thoughts about time that created a negative relationship that I had with time in my mind.

In Episode 18, I talked about silencing the inner critic and I talked about the main first thing to start with is not saying negative things about yourself out loud, and noticing how you speak about yourself out loud. So I also want you to start noticing how you speak about time. Do you find yourself often saying that you're too busy, that you don't have enough time? It's fascinating sometimes when people ask “How are you doing?” We'll respond, “Oh, I'm busy.” So of all of the emotions available, you could choose fantastic or wonderful or amazing or fabulous. You're going to define yourself as busy. It's almost like a badge of honor in our culture. It's rewarded.

I definitely felt that my worth was based on my accomplishments. And I didn't even realize that I was thinking that but at a subconscious level, I didn't really feel like I was a good enough person, unless I was accomplishing things and there was a numerable amount of things that I had to accomplish. And that's why there was never enough time. I mean, I could never get enough done because what is enough? I definitely had a victim relationship with time.

And have you ever heard that how you do anything is how you do everything. If you have a victim relationship with a phenomenon like time you're probably going to see yourself as a victim in other areas of your life like with relationships, or with money. So really stop speaking like you are a victim of time, try to notice it and try to stop it. So instead of saying, “I don't have time for that,” you could say, “I'm not willing to make time.” You can see why it's kind of nicer to play the victim here. Like you don't want to tell your friend that “I'm not willing to make time to call you back.” It's much easier to say, “I've been so busy. I've just been swamped. I totally ran out of time last night.” It's so much easier to be the victim than to take responsibility, but by saying, “I didn't make time,” you're the one who keeps the ownership. You have the place of power.

Gay Hendricks says that being in a hurry is a sign of mental illness. So I don't think he actually meant mental illness like you would go to a psychiatrist, of course, but he does have a good point. So the mental capacity that you have when you're in a hurry, or you're feeling scarcity around time, is not your clearest, most competent self. How many times when you're rushing to get out the door do you lose your keys or you can't find your phone? I've literally been talking on my phone, and I'm like, “Where's my phone?” Because, you know, when you're flustered and you're hurried, and you're rushed, you're just not thinking clearly.

This example drives me crazy. If I have a busy day planned for the next day, and I'm thinking about it the night before, then often what will happen is I wake up sometime in the middle of the night or 3 a.m. or something—I can't get back to sleep. And I just lay there worried about how much I have to do the next day, and how tired I'm going to be. And I cannot get back to sleep. So frustrating, but totally an example of how our thoughts really create our reality. I'm going to bed thinking, I'm going to be exhausted tomorrow because I have such a big day. And then I end up not sleeping and even starting my day before my big day arrives already exhausted.

What other things can you think of that happen when you're busy, when you're rushed, when you're feeling like you are a victim of time? If I'm driving somewhere crazy, I'm actually more likely to get hurt or get in an accident. Sometimes when I'm rushed, I end up having to go back and redo things because I didn't do it right the first time. And then of course, when I'm super overwhelmed with all of the things that I have to do, is when I'm actually more likely to just avoid doing everything all together, and scroll on Facebook for an hour, or I'm more likely to procrastinate and essentially just end up wasting more time. So watch yourself when you're feeling really busy. When you have that scarcity of time, maybe if you're panicked about being late. Are you driving like a crazy person? Are you yelling at your kids? And are you blaming other people for how you ran out of time?

Being busy is really a terrible place to live. You're not using your higher brain, you're in fight or flight. And we know that chronic fight or flight leads to chronic pain and disease. Your body cannot run on high speed. You can't sprint all the time without taking a break, or your body breaks down. Think of a computer that's running with twenty tabs open, how slow and ineffective it is. So being busy is really not a badge of honor. It doesn't make you more awesome or more worthy because you're busy.

I remember a few years back hearing about a study about how multitasking wasn't effective. And I totally thought that I was the exception to that rule, that for other people, I could see how it's probably not effective. But I truly believed that I was a good multitasker. But as I started getting coaching and talking about the results that I had in my life, I was realizing how many unfinished things I had started and never gotten around to finishing, and started to realize that yes, even for me, multitasking is not effective. And of course, I find this so ironic. It's just another way that my brain would prove my thoughts true. So I thought I didn't have time to do everything I needed to. I would leave a bunch of stuff undone and then I would have all of this evidence of all these things I see I had to do, proving my thought true that I am too busy.

If you find yourself not finishing things or even not starting things, if you're procrastinating, if you're creating a lot of mental drama about time, if you're complaining, or feeling like a victim of time, then I really want you to think about Einstein time. Since time is something you can choose how to think about, rather than being a victim of time.

You could also think of yourself as a producer of time. There's a quote, “You'll never find time for anything. If you want the time, you must make it.” So what if instead of running out of time, you can make time? Wouldn't you rather be a producer of time than a consumer of time? That feels a lot more abundant. To think of being able to make time, I think the first step to get rid of your victim mentality about time, is to realize that all of the things that you're doing are things that you choose to do. So if there are some things that you're doing that you're not actually choosing to do—you feel obligated to for someone else—you may consider telling that person you don't want to do those things for them.

But really think about it. If it's things like, I have to work, or I have to make dinner and then I have to clean up, what if those things or the way of phrasing it isn't exactly true? What if you don't have to work, but you like working because you like money, and you like making dinner because cooking at home might save money or you prepare more healthy meals and you like cleaning up because you like having a clean kitchen. Now it doesn't necessarily mean you really like every single aspect of those chores or going to work, but you like them. That effect, the result that it creates. And so it's still a choice that you're making to do those things. What if you aren't a victim at all in these things you choose to do?

I think of life as 50/50. So even in your dream job, or in a relationship, there are going to be positive and negative things. In starting my own business, there may be things I'm super excited to do and super passionate about, like recording podcasts. And inevitably, there are things that I'm not going to find as exciting, but they are part of having a business. So I can still think that I'm choosing to do things without thinking of myself as a victim, and still realize that I don't enjoy some of the things but I'm choosing to do them anyway. And sometimes with those less enjoyable tasks, I can think of some ways to make them fun.

One of the things I like to do is to set a timer and try to get the chore done in a certain amount of time. So if I'm doing the dishes, did you know that doing the dishes can like sometimes just take ten minutes? We sometimes put it off and make it into a big deal. But when you actually just get at it, and don't stop and procrastinate and do other things and complain about it, then sometimes it can go actually quite quickly.

Sometimes I'll listen to music or listen to a podcast while I'm cooking or walking, for meditating. Sometimes I'll do a guided meditation, or I like the Muse headband for meditating. It gives me feedback and it tracks my progress each day on an app, which I like. Back when I used to do a lot of driving my kids around places, I chose to look at it as a time that I could spend one on one with a kid and it totally changed my perspective about taking them to a friend's house or feeling like I had to drive them around like a victim.

Now, here's the thing that I thought was interesting. When I started learning about Einstein time and practicing getting myself into a calmer state about time, when I would feel rushed, say I was getting ready for work or to go somewhere, and I started feeling that sensation in my body where I was getting a little bit anxious or tense. Usually my stomach would get tight, my heart rate would raise, I would notice it and I would call myself, usually taking some breaths, reminding myself to slow down that it would be okay. Sometimes I would even say Einstein time in my head, and I would literally be able to get myself to a calmer state for my nervous system. And I felt more abundance than I did scarcity. And I found that time would usually work out.

So even if I thought I was gonna run late for something, I would purposely not check the clock very much. I would do the things I needed to do in an efficient, but timely, way. And any time I started feeling that anxiousness or stress, calm myself down, get to work by driving as I would without craziness and without yelling at people and wishing they drove differently. And most often, I would arrive on time, or within a few minutes, and usually, like the meeting would end up starting a few minutes late that day, or there was still a spot open for me at yoga class, or the person that I was meeting would actually get there later than I would. I mean, I would still try my best to be on time, but having this calm attitude didn't mean that I was getting there hours late, and that I was negligent. But it did make my drive time more enjoyable. When I did get there, I was in a better mood. I wasn't frantic. I didn't lock my keys in my car or forget important things at home.

I would suggest that you try a little bit of Einstein time in your life, because although our brain wants to go to the extreme, like, oh, that will never work and you'll never do anything. If you aren't forcing yourself to be rushed and busy all the time, it's going to turn out better for you. I even hung in my car some flower leis that my daughter had, and I realized that it covered up the clock in my car, and I left them because I really liked not having that time staring right back at me. So if I want to check the time, I just move them over to the side and look, but I found it helpful. Because each time I would look at the clock and start to get a little bit panicked, I would have to remind myself to calm back down and it was easier just not to obsessively check the clock.

Really try to feel these sensations in your body. Try to drop in to what you're feeling, be mindful. Notice when you start feeling anxious or rushed or scarcity or a victim about time, remind yourself that time is relative, try calming yourself and trying Einstein time and see how it works out for you.

Now, as always, I like to relate the concept I'm talking about to chronic pain or disease. And I hear a lot about time when people talk about their healing journey and it's usually from that place of the optimization and scarcity. I think every person I've worked with at some point, including myself, have often said things like, “Why is this taking so long? I'm not sure if I'll ever get better. What if this never goes away? I wish I was better already.” And it makes sense because no one wants to be in pain. But remember, as Nicole Sachs says, chronic pain is an epidemic of fear when things don't seem like they're happening quickly enough, especially if we are getting better and feeling better for a few days, and then start to have some symptoms again, or feel like we're getting worse. That can trigger some fear, which of course, makes the healing more difficult.

The time we're feeling pain, it's like our hand on the hot stove. It feels like it's forever. And sometimes it's interesting because we're so focused on the pain that we don't even notice when we don't have pain.

When I'll ask people about their symptoms, they'll describe over the last week, like there was a couple times that my arm really hurt when I moved it this way. And then when I start questioning them, they're not even recognizing, like, 90% of the time that they are feeling good and they didn't have pain. And they don't even think to bring that up to me. But they're so on the lookout for those times that they did have pain and try to put meaning on it. What could that mean? When we're focusing on pain, that makes time expand. So it's also very hard to be patient with ourselves. When we feel the sensations in our body, we definitely try to make sense of it by giving it meaning like, I must have done something. I wonder what's going on on the inside. Is there damage that's permanent? But what if we could think of our healing journey, not as a struggle line, but a path that we're traveling that has some ups and downs.

Because most of the time, that's just how it is. Especially when people start the journey. And they start feeling better and better and better. And they learn about how powerful their mind can be in healing, then sometimes they start to beat themselves up that they aren't healed a little bit faster. But think about the relativity of time here. If you have had back pain for ten years, you know, it might not be something that goes away in just a week or two. But if you could think like, I'm giving myself three months for this process, and I'm really going to keep working on things and if I had it for ten years, three months really relatively is a short amount of time. And I'm not saying that, you know, if it's ten years, it'll be three months, like it's different for everyone.

But what I do know is when you start beating yourself up and feeling really bad about how it's not happening faster, that ironically, that will make it take longer. Emotions are definitely a factor in our healing. And that's why patience and compassion for ourselves and remembering that sometimes things do take time. And the more we try to control the speed in which things happen, and get frustrated and beat ourselves up for them not happening faster than they're happening, then the more difficulty really it's going to create for ourselves. You are feeling exactly what you need to be feeling right now. And remember, life is 50/50, so you're not going to feel good all the time.

So whether you've been feeling better and then start feeling worse again, or you have a new pain symptom come up, think of pain as a teacher for you. And it won't go away until you've learned what you need to learn from it when things don't happen in the time that I want them to. And if it's not a quick and easy fix, then I try to think of things as the long game. Sometimes in life, there are things that are quick, the short game, and sometimes we play the long game.

Like I thought it might be easier for me to learn a song on the ukulele than it was. But it turns out that it took me a longer time than I thought it would. But it's not a big deal. It's the long game. My website took longer than I thought it would to get it looking how I wanted. But it turns out that I just had an expectation that wasn't realistic. And it doesn't mean anything bad about me or anyone else. It's just different than I thought it would be.

We're playing the long game when you're in a rush for things to change, then that's when they usually end up taking longer. So just recognize, you do have control of your perception of time, you can have control with your relationship to time. And rather than trying to control every aspect of time and when things happen, the more easily you'll actually be able to attain your goals.

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you have not yet gone over to iTunes, please give me a rating. Give this podcast a review. If you have a few extra minutes, I would really appreciate it. I want this podcast to be able to be shared and found by other people. And I definitely appreciate your time listening and rating or reviewing it for me.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And, of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know who wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode 22- Making Decisions Jun 19, 2020

This episode is all about decisions- why we make the decisions we do and how to make decisions from a more conscious place. Indecision drains our energy, so learn my best tips and tricks to make decisions on purpose to get the results you want in your life.

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Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind—Episode 22–Making Decisions.

Hello, welcome to the podcast. Today we are going to talk about decision making, why it's important to make decisions and how we can make decisions most effectively. But first, a little reminder if you've been liking the podcast and would be willing to do me a favor. Go on over to iTunes and rate and review it please. Rating it literally just takes a few seconds and a review does take a little more time and thought and effort, but I do read all the reviews and really appreciate them. And it helps the podcast be found by more people.

Decision making used to be super hard for me. I used to even describe myself as someone who hated making decisions. I would much rather have someone else make decisions for me than to have to make decisions. I hated it. And I think part of it is that I thought of myself as kind of an easygoing person, not someone who has a lot of strong preferences and opinions, but I was also definitely a huge people pleaser. I would rather let someone else who did have a stronger opinion, make a decision, and I would just go along with it so that I would be liked. I also had a lot of self doubt. And I was definitely a huge perfectionist. And that can play into decision making too, because once you make a decision, you have to get to work on it. And it wasn't that I was afraid of work, but I was afraid of showing up imperfectly. And so if I could stay in indecision, I wouldn't have to make the wrong choice, or put work out into the world that wasn't totally perfect and be vulnerable that way.

But like the Rush song says, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” So indecision is making a choice. It's a choice not to act. And the worst part about it is that when you are struggling in indecision, it drains your energy. Have you ever had that? It's like part of your mind just keeps cycling around this unmade decision, and you keep weighing the options in your head and you keep thinking of the pros and cons. Mentally, it's draining.

When I started learning about life coaching about five years ago, I realized how important making decisions is for your state of mind. And I got better at making decisions because it is a skill you can develop, and it grows stronger as you practice it. You can learn to listen to yourself and trust yourself and stop doubting yourself so much as you practice making decisions.

First, let's talk about why we make decisions. All of the decisions we make, the things we choose or choose not to do are because of how we think it will make us feel. So if you choose to eat a salad, it could be because you want to feel healthier. If you choose to eat a box of Pop Tarts, it could be because you think you'll feel some satisfaction or pleasure from it. If you choose not to decide right now if you are going to change jobs or not, you may think you will feel more sure of yourself after you weigh out all the options or ask a few more people's advice. We are motivated by our feelings. That's why we make the decisions that we do. And that's how we get the results that we have in our life.

Think of all the results that you have in your life as a collection of the decisions you've made. And your day is full of decisions. You're making them either unconsciously, or you're making them in a way to get the results that you want. How do we make unconscious decisions? Remember, 95% of our thoughts are subconscious. So those decisions could look like habits. Like I get up and I make my bed each morning. Or I find myself checking my phone approximately a million times a day. Like it's totally a subconscious decision. I'm maybe feeling bored, or I'm usually avoiding doing something. And then I find myself checking email that I've checked, like two minutes ago.

Think about the decisions you make each day. Do you think there are some unconscious decisions that you make? The first step in making better decisions is to realize and be mindful of the decisions you're already making. Just like we can become the watcher of our thoughts, we can become the watcher of our decisions, and we can decide if they're serving us or not. Another thing that we can do subconsciously when we're making decisions is to say, “I don't know” Do you find yourself saying “I don't know” a lot? Sometimes it can even feel very true: “Like this is just a fact. I don't know.” Something like, “I don't know how to stop my kids from fighting.” “I don't know how to provide more value to my customers.” “I don't know how to quiet my mind when I meditate.” But the thing about “I don't know” is when you say that, it literally blocks your brain from giving you the answers. It shuts down your inner voice, and it keeps you in indecision, which, remember, drains your energy?

Try and notice when you say “I don't know,” either out loud or to yourself, and question that. You might just be in a habit of saying, “I don't know.” It seems easy. And it seems true. So I'll often say to people when I'm coaching them, when they tell me, “I don't know,” I'll say, “What if you did know?” And then, most of the time, unless they say, “I don't know” again, they actually come up with an answer. So give yourself that option. What if I do know when I'm stuck with an “I don't know.” I like to write things down. I like to get out a piece of paper. And if I'm thinking I don't know how to get my kids to eat healthier, I could write down the things I do know. Maybe I know that if I wasn't buying as much junk food and bringing it to the house, then the kids would not have access to those foods. I know that when I cut up fruits and vegetables and put them out at dinnertime, then they get eaten more than when they're sitting in the fridge. Maybe I do know that I haven't had a discussion with the kids about what they already know about healthy eating and what types of foods they think are healthy, and what kind of foods they're interested in eating that are healthy foods. Once you start opening up your brain to thinking of the things you do know, then you can start filling up the page with things that you know, and have a jumping off point rather than just saying, “I don't know” and shutting it down and feeling helpless.

When I'm making decisions between two options, like if I was thinking of buying a new car or getting my old one repaired, I also like writing. So take out a page and make two columns, one for new car, one for repairing the old car. And I would write down the reasons for getting a new car in one column, and the reasons for repairing the old car in the other column. Then I would suggest crossing out any of the reasons that are fear based. We don't want to make decisions from fear. Remember, when we're in fight or flight, we're not using our prefrontal cortex, we're not using our best judgment and logic. So, for example, if I am thinking I'm afraid of how long it would take me to find a new car, I really don't even know that's true. And I would rather base my decisions on reasons that I like, rather than things I'm afraid of, or I'm trying to avoid. Fear is based in the primitive brain and I want to make decisions from my higher brain, my prefrontal cortex. Then, looking at the two columns, I would pick the one with the reasons I like the most, and you could listen to your inner voice here. I talked a little bit about listening to your inner voice on the last episode, and just like decision making you get better at listening to your inner voice if you practice doing it. Sometimes I like to imagine that there are no wrong decisions. Or what if I knew both of the options would work out? Which one would I choose? If I knew that there were no failures in life, that I was either winning or learning? What would I choose? If I knew that I could find a new car I wanted and I could sell the old one, and I could afford the payments or the repairs, which one would I choose?

What if in life, there are no mistakes? What if we're either succeeding or learning but there is no failing? And what if in life, there are no wrong decisions, just decisions that teach you what you don't want to do? Those kinds of thoughts can help with decision making. We already have so much fear of the future. A lot of times as humans, we're deciding a lot of things out of fear. But really, we don't even know how the future will turn out. We're just basing our projection of the future on what we've learned from the past. But most of the times, the things we worry about don't even happen.

I find this a lot when I'm trying to predict how other people are going to react. Like my son might not eat anything if I stopped buying junk food, or my boss might fire me if I tell him I want to cut back my hours, or my friend might be hurt if I don't go to girls night that she invited me to. But remember with the model, what we say or do is just in the circumstance line of other people's models. They are in charge of how they think and feel and act because of what we do or say. So we definitely don't want to be basing all of our decisions on trying to control other people's behavior. I like to make decisions that are most loving for me and loving for all of the people involved. So if my friend planned a girl's night, and I don't want to go, is it the most loving thing for me to still go? Is it loving to her if I go when I don't want to? Imagine if I don't want to go, but I go, because I don't want to make her mad or make her feel bad. And then I go, and I'm resentful. That might not even be the most loving thing to her. And it's definitely not the most loving thing to me.

Now, we talked about how indecision is an energy drain, but also if we make a decision, and we're waiting a while to tell someone. Like if I made that decision not to go out to the girls night, but I waited a week to tell my friend, then that also is going to be draining my mental energy. It can be exhausting mentally if it's still hanging over my head. So I might be still dreading telling her or thinking about when I'll tell her or thinking about how I'm going to tell her. If possible when you make the decision, try to act on it without allowing a lot of time to go by so you aren't just taking up that mental space.

Another concept about decision making is to try and make decisions ahead of time. So we want to use our prefrontal cortex, which is good at making decisions. That's the highest form of our humanity. That's where we want to be making our decisions from. So say you're starting an exercise program. You could decide on Sunday night what you want that exercise program to look like for the week, like “Every morning, I'm going to get up and go on a thirty-minute walk with my dog,” or “I'm going to do yoga three days a week, on these days and at these times.” The more we make decisions ahead of time, then we don't have to struggle in the moment—the decision is already made. If we don't decide ahead of time, then you can guess what kind of decision we're going to make. When the alarm goes off and you're not committed or devoted to your decision, you'll probably talk yourself out of going on the walk or just go back to bed. The prefrontal cortex, the highest part of the brain, is the best decision maker. And it only works when we're not making decisions in the moment. When we don't make decisions ahead of time, or we're not committed to those decisions and we leave the decisions up to what we feel like doing in the moment, our primal brain is going to win every time and it's going to want to seek pleasure, avoid pain and do whatever is easy.

Another thing to think about with decision making is decision fatigue. So if you imagine cleaning out your closet, taking everything out of it and going through piles and piles of things, you might start out kind of thoughtful about each item and trying it on. And after a while, after a few hours, your brain has made so many decisions that you're just exhausted from making so many decisions. And so you either start just getting rid of everything, or if you're like me, you start hanging everything back up and thinking like, Maybe I'll go through it later, or I'll give it a few months and see if I'm actually going to wear those things and I'll just decide then. So don't try and make a lot of big decisions at once or make a lot of little decisions before you're making big important decisions. Just be aware that there is decision fatigue. In order to reduce decision fatigue, you could give yourself a certain amount of time and commit to making a decision at the end of that time.

An example I've heard of is from my mentor, Brooke Castillo. She said that for clothes shopping, she only goes to one store. So she has one place that she gets her clothes. And she doesn't go to all of the different places, all the different stores and look at a bunch of different things. She knows her tastes and her style and what she likes. And so she only buys things from that one store.

The more you can make decisions ahead of time, decide quickly, not go back on your decisions and not make tons of decisions at once or when you're already mentally fatigued, this will help you make better decisions and it will save mental energy so you're not feeling as drained. If you have a big goal, which I recommend, for the week, or a goal for the month, or the next three months or a goal for the next year, your brain will get overwhelmed with the immensity of this big, huge goal. So what you can do is write down all of the little things you'll need to do to accomplish that goal. Next to each of those things, write down all of the obstacles you might anticipate happening. And then focus each day on the next right thing or the next best thing to get you towards that goal. So “What is the next right thing for me to make this certain amount of money within a period of time?” Or “What is the next right thing I could do to show my body more love so that I can be healthy?” Or “What is the next right thing I could do to be a more present mom with my kids right now?”

You can decide that you're a decision maker. That's what I did. I saw that I was already making decisions, which I was. And I just decided on purpose that I am able to make decisions and I practiced making decisions on my own without polling a bunch of people and asking people's opinion and searching online for hours. And when I made a decision, I purposely didn't second guess it or doubt myself or go back on it and change it. And I did get better at making decisions and at listening to my inner voice.

Making decisions is an important skill. And even if you are thinking of yourself as an indecisive person, remember that by not deciding you are already making a choice, and you're wasting your mental energy by spinning and indecision. You might have some strong neural pathways and beliefs about yourself and your ability to make decisions. But as we know from neuroscience, you can always rewire your brain. You can start making decisions consciously, you can start believing in yourself that you can make decisions and the more you practice, the more you will learn about yourself and what types of decisions you can make easily, and what types of decisions you don't want to make in the future. And the more you'll be able to trust yourself in the decisions you do make. So I invite you to notice the decisions you're making in your life and to start making decisions from a conscious place. And if this is something you struggle with and would like some coaching on, please reach out to me. You can go to my website, bodyandmindlifecoach.com or email me at info@bodyandmindlifecoach.com.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And, of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know who wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode 21- Love is Letting Go of Fear Jun 10, 2020

In this episode I share my favorite quotes and discuss the book Love is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald Jampolsky.

There are basically two emotions- love and fear. We are programmed for fear but always have the capacity of love.

Approaching more of our life with love is how we get inner peace. And that means continually letting go of fear.

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Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind—Episode 21–Love Is Letting Go of Fear.

Hello, welcome to Episode 21–Love Is Letting Go of Fear, based on the book by Gerald Jampolsky of that name. I love this concept of basically two emotions, love and fear, and you can't have fear when you have love, and you can't have love when you have fear. They're basically like north and south, like you can't go both places at the same time—opposites. I love thinking of all of the emotions that are kind of more stressful, anxiety-ridden on the lower half of the vibration, emotion chart. The fight or flight type of responses where the body is tense, there's some anxiousness and worry. That's all categorized as fear, and any of the more loving emotions which would include, of course, love. And I would say things above 200, you know, courage, willingness, acceptance. Even neutrality is more on the scale of love than fear. And those are the emotions that are associated with rest and repair.

So as I talked about, you'll want to rest and repair sometimes for your body on a physical level because we are physical and emotional and mental beings. But you also want to emotionally get to a state of rest and repair. And that is something where the energy is constructive, not destructive, and where you're able to reach that level of the parasympathetic nervous system that you can slow down, rest, digest, get back to a neutral state, or even regain some of your power or your health. Fear is what happens as humans as we perceive reality from our physical senses. We think that's what there is. We consider our perceptions real. But fear always distorts our perception and confuses us as to what's going on. Love is the total absence of fear.

As humans, we believe that.

As humans, we believe the fears of the past can predict and prevent any fears of the future coming true. Or at least we can try to control it if we're afraid. But basically, when we are afraid of the past, and we spend our time worrying about that, then we're thinking about the past and not in the present moment. For most of us, we spend our time either worrying about the past or fearing something in the future. So being in the present moment is really such a difficult thing for most of us. Have you ever tried meditating? Sometimes it's so hard just to be still and to have no sounds and very little input, and just to watch your brain. It's like a fish flopping outside of the water. I'd be interested to know how much time people in general spend in the present moment.

If 95% of our thoughts are subconscious, and 5% of the time, roughly, we're thinking conscious thoughts, I wonder if that's divided between the past and the future? Because being in the present moment is something you really have to practice and the way he's suggesting we can do that is to get rid of fear. He says with peace of mind as our single goal, forgiveness becomes our single function. Forgiveness is the vehicle used for correcting our misperceptions and for helping us let go of fear. Simply stated, to forgive is to let go. I think the forgiveness has to start with ourselves. It's so important. It's so important if you have any kind of chronic pain or disease, that you start being more compassionate with yourself, wherever possible, and forgiving yourself.

And sometimes it seems silly to have to forgive ourselves for just being human. But

we're pretty harsh to ourselves. We really think if there's some parts of us that we don't like, it's kind of unforgivable. We have to accept the part of ourselves that, you know, it's kind of like when you have kids, and you love them, but you don't love everything they do. We have to be that same way with ourselves. We might not love everything we do. We definitely have room for improvement. That's always true. But beating ourselves up, coming from a place of fear, trying to motivate ourselves will not have the same effect as if we come from a place of love for ourselves, and forgiveness for all of those human parts of us, the humanity we share, and that includes the darkness and the light.

If you're struggling with chronic pain or disease, you might need to forgive yourself for having that. You might want to work on forgiving your body. Sometimes we feel like our bodies have betrayed us, or that we should somehow be guilty for the pain that we do have and the effects of that on our loved ones and families and you can really have a lot of guilt or anger or shame or blame on the pain. Other people do not have to change for us to experience peace of mind. I love this because that's really good if we don't expect other people to change because that can be really disappointing, right? I mean, they're not good at changing how we want them to.

I know there are a couple people right now that I really wish would change. And it seems impossible that I could have peace of mind unless they just did some things differently and apologized. But we know this from the model too, right? The actions other people take, the things they say, those are just in our circumstance line. So the rest of the model is what we have control over: our thoughts, feelings, actions and results. I'm going to read you some of his themes to live by:

Peace of mind is our single goal. Forgiveness is our single function and the way to achieve our goal of peace of mind.

Through forgiveness, we can learn to judge. Through forgiveness we can learn not to judge others and to see everyone, including ourselves, as guiltless.

What do you think about that one? I have a hard time seeing myself as guiltless. I think it's just something, you know, it's how we're raised and in our survival instincts and our genetics that we want to see ourselves as bad so we want to improve, right? But yeah, seeing ourselves as guiltless.

We can let go of fear when we stop judging, and stop projecting the past into the future, and live only in the now.

We can learn to accept direction from our inner intuitive voice, which is our guide to knowing.

What do you guys think about the inner voice? I have found that to be something I'm working on developing, but like super cool. I like how Glennon Doyle describes the next right step. Also, I've heard Nicole Sachs use that. So the next, or the next best considered action. So we get very overwhelmed if we're thinking of some big goal in the future. But if we can just take the moment, again, center in the moment, that's already a first step that's hard for us to do, but good for mindfulness every once in a while to check into what's going on in reality, not in the past or future in your head. So in reality, say we have a moment that we are making a decision, we can ask for what is the next best considered action and just listen. This takes some practice, but the more you practice listening, the more you'll hear.

Did I lose anyone there? I hope not. If so, welcome to this level of the podcast. I believe in the inner voice. I really do. Okay, what works for me is the sway test. If you close your eyes and calibrate, so say, “Is my name Betsy?” and then I would kind of unwillingly, unwittingly lean forward, like I'm kind of pulled one direction or another, and forward is yes. And backward is no. So then I would ask, “Is my name Jack?” and probably feel this pull back. After calibrating that way, I can close my eyes and ask a question and see, you know, where my body is pulled. So, I think that's a cool way of just answering some yes or no questions to practice listening to your inner voice. And again, I would try to ask kind of relevant questions to what's going on. I guess you could ask it, you know, things about the future, but I think for that next best considered action, that is a way you can start asking yourself and your body and your inner wisdom some of these questions. So after our inner voice gives us direction, it will also provide the means for accomplishing whatever is necessary. Ooh, I like that.

Glennon Doyle, in Untamed, talks about listening to her inner voice and then doing what it says and then this rush of liquid gold that she feels in her veins. I love that. For me, I've felt, you know, I consider it gratitude when I have that kind of response to something serendipitous that happens or me following that inner voice and having that reward. I feel like it's this lightness in my chest and kind of this fluttery, quick vibration that feels like a warm fuzzy, basically, inside my chest.

In following one's inner guidance, it's frequently necessary to make a commitment to a specific goal, even when the means for achieving it are not immediately apparent. This can be a reversal of the customary logic of the world and could be thought of as putting the cart before the horse. So basically, I hear this a lot with, like manifesting and the law of attraction. So if I haven't lost you already, here we go, another layer. But for you, for those of you who stick with me, I know you are my people. So, when you want to manifest something, you don't need to know the how. In fact, the more you get hung up on the how, the more confused you get, and the less likely you are to manifest it.

So basically, have things you are working towards. Sometimes I think the law of attraction, people think that it just means have those goals and then just sit on the couch and hope for them. But I'm saying, like, have those goals, you don't have to know the why. But you can ask the next right action, the next best thing to do, the next best considered action to make money, to do whatever it is that you're trying to achieve. But the difference is, rather than trying to control reality, and plan out all the things and follow all the actions, you're having an intent, and you're having a commitment, and you're still putting in the work, but in a very, like trusting and loving way. And I think the more you do this, the easier it becomes. There are more of those serendipities which is that liquid gold and things just tend to work out, right?

We do have a choice in determining what we perceive, and the feelings we experience.

Okay? Is that a hard one for you guys? Like, I get that if you think the world is a loving place, you are more likely to see those examples of love in the world. But it seems a little much that we can really determine what we perceive and the feelings we experience. But that's because he talks about kind of a continual letting go of the past and the judgment and the fears you have. And so you could be perceiving the same thing. But you determine what you perceive, because you're not seeing it through this filter of fear and defensiveness.

And the last of the themes to live by:

Through retraining of the mind, we can learn to use positive action imagination. Positive action imagination enables us to develop positive, loving motion pictures in our minds.

So basically a positive, loving movie that you're watching and seeing in your mind, instead of perceiving things through a lens of fear. Sounds super easy and simple, right? Okay, maybe it doesn't, but this is the way to have peace of mind, to have more love than fear, and really the way to healing. He says, “With love as our only reality, health and wholeness can be viewed as inner peace and healing can be seen as letting go of fear.”

Okay, so this is why we have fear. Our belief system is based on our past experience, which is constantly being relived in the present with an anticipation of the future being just like the past. Yep, I think that's true. Our present perceptions are so colored by the past that we are unable to see the immediate happenings in our lives without distortion and limitations. So think about, you know, fear changes our perceptions. I mean, think about it when you're scared, like playing hide and go seek or something, and you're scared of being found. And your perceptions are changed, depending on what you're thinking and what you're on the lookout for. So, since we have so much of our present consciousness filtered through this lens that we take in reality through, we're basing basically everything we're coming into contact with in the present. We're seeing it through this filter from the past and our belief system from the past. And then we are anticipating that the future is going to be just like the past. So we're basically all in our heads all of the time.

And reality is something that none of us can clearly see—none. Not one person. We're all confined to the reality that seems limited by our physical center. We're all confined by the reality that we perceive from our physical senses. So to have freedom, to have peace of mind, we have to detach from thinking of the past and the future, and choose to live in the now.

If you think of an interaction with someone, we can choose to have either love or fear. When people have fear, you would definitely think they would be defensive, right? But people can also be attacking from fear. He basically says that you wouldn't attack unless you feel threatened. To try to demonstrate your own strength, if you feel threatened, then you might attack first. So attack is really a defense. So whenever someone's acting defensively or attacking, you can know that they're acting out of fear. In order to experience peace of mind, instead of seeing someone as attacking us, we can see them as fearful. We're always either expressing love or fear. Fear is really a call for help and therefore, a request for love.

To have peace, we must recognize that we do have a choice in determining what we will perceive. Peace of mind comes from not wanting to change others but simply by accepting them as they are. True acceptance is always without demands and expectations. That would be the manual, right? Those demands and expectations we have for other people. If we can throw away our manual, true acceptance, not wanting to change others, we can have peace of mind. Inner peace must be reached through forgiveness. And I love how he talks about forgiveness here. Forgiveness is the letting go of the past and is there for the means for correcting our misperceptions. Hmm, we're just remembering it wrong. Or not remembering it wrong, but like remembering in the human way through the senses that we filtered through our brain, right? So maybe we just didn't perceive the whole situation. And maybe we can just forgive ourselves for the humanity we all share. And know that we're just not going to be perfect all the time. And knowing that thought is only causing us pain, you know, any of the disappointment we feel in ourselves.

For forgiveness, we have to let go whatever we think other people have done to us, or whatever we think we have done to them. Through this process of selective forgetting, we become free to embrace a present without the need to reenact our past. So really, how often do we reenact our past by judging what's going on in the current situation? And, you know, This is how these types of certain people react. When I say this, it's going to have this effect. We need to basically try to see the world through fresh eyes and try to see just, Is someone reacting out of fear, or out of love, are they needing love? Most of the time, I bet the people that bug us are reacting out of fear and we're reacting out of fear too. If we don't have the fear about the people that we're interacting with, then we probably have some fear from guilt and shame going on.

Love in our society is often thought of as something that we get from someone else. If we think we need to get something from another we’ll love that person when we think we get what we want, and we’ll hate that person when we don't. We frequently have love/hate relationships in which we find ourselves trading conditional love. The getting motivation leads to conflict and distress and is associated with linear time. Giving means extending one's love with no conditions, no expectations, and no boundaries. Peace of mind occurs. Therefore, when we put our attention into giving and have no desire to get anything from or change another person, the giving motivation leads us to a sense of inner peace and joy, that is unrelated to time.

Okay, there's so much there that I think is so, so brilliant, so simple and so brilliantly said. Basically, we come to relationships often with this emptiness that we want filled. And if someone is not doing the right things that we're expecting, then we will not feel loved by that person. And if we do realize that they're doing some of the things, then we love that person. So conditional love, but when you could move into unconditional love, you're not trying to change the other person. And you have this timeless part of your relationship that is just peace and joy.

Episode 9 is about relationships. It's really interesting because it is about how relationships are basically thoughts about the person that you have in your head, and how much you can control of what you perceive about the other person in relationships. And how, if your purpose is not to receive love from someone, but to give love, how much it changes your perception of the relationship, and as well, you just feel more love, because love is a feeling that you get by giving it. You can't feel loved by someone unless you're thinking thoughts that they love me. That's from your thoughts. But feeling love is something that is always available to you. Because all you have to do to do that is love someone else; to give love to someone, you get love.

Here's some questions you can ask and retrain the mind.

Do I choose to experience peace of mind? Or do I choose to experience conflict?
Do I choose to experience love or fear?
Do I choose to be a love finder or a fault finder?
Do I choose to be a love giver or a love sender?
Is this communication verbal or nonverbal? Is it loving to the other person and is it loving to me?

Okay, I love that last sentence: Is it loving to the other person and is it loving to me? That is such a good thing always to keep in mind, especially if you're trying to distinguish between being a people pleaser, or doing something out of unconditional love. So you might think that you need to let someone come over to your house every time they want to, and play with your kids as much as they want to show unconditional love. But if you are not finding that you're having the sense of love, if it's not loving to both you and that other person, then that's not unconditional love. That is what you're trying to do to get someone to like you or approve of you or to make them happy. That's people pleasing.

What we're striving for is communication that is loving to the other person and loving to yourself. When we find ourselves irritated, depressed, angry or ill, we can be sure we've chosen the wrong goal and are responding to fear. When we are not experiencing joy, we have forgotten to make peace of mind our single goal and have become concerned about getting rather than giving. We think the outside world is the reality, the outside world is the cause and we are the effect. What if what we see is actually just determined by the thoughts in our mind? So perception is more like a mirror of what we already believe than a fact out there in reality. Knowing that, you can choose to awaken in the morning and see a friendly world through the glasses that filter out everything except love. It is from our peace of mind that a peaceful perception of the world arises. Throughout the day, whenever you're tempted to be fearful, remind yourself that you can experience love instead.

How does fear of the past lead to wanting to control everything? I think a lot of us like to do that, right? So we have a belief system that our fearful past is going to become our fearful future, making the past and the future one. The memory of the fear and pain makes us feel vulnerable. And the feeling of vulnerability makes us want to control and predict the future at all costs. So an old belief system might be something like anger occurs because I've been attacked, and I am justified in a counter attack. So I'm responsible for protecting myself by talking back to someone who is angry at me. We change the world we see by changing our thoughts about it. By changing our thoughts, we are actually changing the cause, then the world we see, the effect, will change automatically.

How crazy is that? It's kind of backwards of what we think. If we resist relinquishing the predictability of our past belief system, we resist assuming responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and reactions, since we always look within before going without. Since we always look within before looking out, we can perceive attack outside us only when we first have accepted attack as real within. Actually, we try to hide from ourselves that the attack we perceive is coming from somewhere else, when it actually came from our own mind. Those are called attack thoughts. And those are hurting us when we have attack thoughts of anger. When I believe that attacking others brings me something I want, let me remember that I always attacked myself first. I do not wish to hurt myself again today.

I like the concept of thinking of acting out of fear or love. When I think about things in my life, like if I'm making a decision, am I making that decision because I'm scared of what other people will think, or I'm scared of making the wrong decision, or am I making a choice out of love, love for myself and for my children, or whoever's involved? So, for example, if I was wanting to lose some weight, I could do that from fear or from love. I could be hating my body and want it to be different and think it's taking too long and I could eat a salad and I could exercise out of fear. Or I could take those very same actions of eating salad and exercising, because I love my body, because I want to fill it with good food. And I want to train my muscles and be in good physical health because I love my body and I love the way it feels to move it. And to feed it well.

He uses an example of living in the present. If you think of a little baby, they have this look of wonder in their eyes, like everything is so new. They don't have these preconceptions of the past. They don't see the world even as separate from themselves yet; they're not seeing the world as fragmented. They're seeing as them as part of the whole. But once we experience some emotions, the painful ones, the guilt, the loss, the grievances, the dissatisfaction, the rejection, we hold on to those and invest. We hold on to those experiences and become attached to them so that we end up having them in the future. Instead of thinking of the future as the extension of the guilty past, we can think of the future as an extension of the peaceful present that never ceases.

So if you're curious about coaching, or if you've been working on things on your own and you feel like you're just not getting the results you want, then please email me at info@bodyandmindlifecoach.com and check out my website, bodyandmindlifecoach.com.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And, of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know who wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #20- Clean Pain vs Dirty Pain Jun 03, 2020

In this episode we talk about all of the kinds of pain- emotional pain, physical pain, and how each kind can have clean and dirty pain. Clean pain is the kind of pain we want to feel in our life- yes there is pain we want to feel! Dirty pain is characterized by 1-resisting reality, 2-layering negative meaning onto the pain, or 3-making it mean something about the future. Learn how to lessen the emotional and physical pain you are causing yourself by dirty pain.

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Episode # 19- Pen-Vent May 27, 2020

Pen-Vent is the 15 minute process I suggest you do daily for your mental hygiene. Just like you brush your teeth or take a shower to take care of your physical body, you also need to clean the junk out of your mind. This is how you can access thoughts and feelings in your subconscious and let them go so you can heal.

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Episode #18- Silence the Inner Critic May 17, 2020

In this episode we will talk about negative self talk and how to silence the inner critic. Learn how the negative narrative that runs unchecked in our brain can cause negative effects in our life. Beating ourselves up does not make us want to be the best versions of ourselves, and actually rewires the brain to take less action, have more fear and holds us back from doing the things we really want. If you are a perfectionist or have chronic stress you definitely need to listen to this episode.

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Episode #17- Podcast with Lisa- Quitting Pain and Quitting Pain Pills May 09, 2020

This episode is amazing- My friend Lisa talks about her journey with decreasing chronic pain (Ankylosing spondylitis- AS, and Fibromyalgia). She recently quit an opioid pain pill she had been on for 9 years and found her pain is actually much less now than when her body was dependent on the drug. She also found relief through thought work about her perfectionism, people pleasing and childhood trauma. She is an example of what is possible when you are willing to put in the work to heal your body and mind.

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Episode # 16 - How to Process Pain May 02, 2020

In this episode we discuss processing pain. Emotional pain is created by our thoughts, and much of chronic pain is the top-down kind of pain that acts like an emotion. Learn why avoiding, resisting and reacting to pain don't work, and how to process pain so it is no longer the focus of your life.

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Episode #15- Neuroscience- A New Way to Understand Pain Apr 21, 2020

In this episode we will review the traditional view of pain (signals from your body to your brain), and compare that with what neuroscience teaches us about pain. Our brains adapt and change when pain is chronic, and much of the pain that is really felt in the body is originating from the brain. This does not mean it is all in your head, it just means your brain is causing some of the effects in your body interpreted as pain. Pain can be a physical sensation, but can also behave just like an emotion.

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Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind—Episode 15–Neuroscience: A New Way to Understand Pain.

Hello, today we have a fun, exciting, well it is for me, and educational episode about neuroscience, which is basically the study of the brain and what we can learn from neuroscience about pain. But I want to start by going back thousands of years to the 1600s when Descartes and the society at the time decided the mind and body were separate entities. So the mind was the focus of the religious pursuits and knowledge, and the body became the subject of science. So the study of the body and the brain from the scientific worldview would be to measure the things we could quantify and look on smaller and smaller levels as different tools of perception were invented— microscopes and ways to perceive what was going on down to the very cellular or microscopic level. I kind of like to use the analogy when talking about traditional science and neuroscience, of Newtonian physics versus quantum physics.

If I lost you there, stay with me. So Newtonian physics is very cause and effect and it's true, but it's very simple. Quantum physics began when scientists were able to study light. And they found that light was acting like a wave sometimes or like a particle sometimes, depending on how it was being measured. So basically there is an observer effect. Quantum physics is not as straightforward and cut and dry as Newtonian physics because there's an acknowledgment of even the effect of something external on the situation, which was not originally acknowledged. In quantum physics we learn that both light and matter have wave-like properties. So since we are made of matter, that means we, as solid as we may appear, have wave-like properties because we are made up of atoms, and atoms are made up of subatomic particles and subatomic particles are made of energy.

Basically, we and all of the things around us are made up of energy. It's just the building blocks of all of the matter in the world. So things around you that look very solid, like a brick in your house, or your phone, or an animal or a tree are all made up of the same type of energy that is in your body. It's all the same, and it's always flowing and changing all the time. So in Newtonian physics, you are measuring and studying the physical world—the world of matter. In quantum physics, you include the study of energy and the realization that actually just by measuring things, we are influencing the outcome of it.

So how does this compare to the perception of pain in the traditional model vs pain through the eyes of neuroscience? So to put it in an extremely simple way, the view of pain in the traditional, or medical, model is that there is a structure in your body that senses pain. And then it sends signals to your brain, and the brain interprets them as pain. And this is how you feel physical pain. So the solution for pain is to examine the area where the pain occurs and treat the symptoms.

And physiological things like pain are from physiological causes. So you could take some medicine to correct the problem. Like if you had inflammation, you could take an anti-inflammatory there, or we can work with imaging techniques, such as x-rays or MRIs and see if there is some kind of structural problem that looks bulging, or ruptured or torn. And you could have surgery to fix any abnormalities.

As medicine developed, there began to be specialists in each area of the body. So the body was subdivided into even further parts and examined in this very physical way. If you had pain in your stomach, you might see a GI specialist. Or if you had heart issues, you would go to a cardiovascular specialist. For me, since I was a physical therapist, I was mainly trained in musculoskeletal issues, or orthopedic issues. Pain is looked at as something that's broken in the body that should be fixed.

Neuroscience teaches us that this is different. The brain actually contributes a lot, not just interpreting the pain signals as originally thought, but actually in creating pain. Dr. Bethany Ranes of the UnitedHealth Group Chronic Pain project says your brain is not a passive organ that lives up in your head. It is deeply involved with all aspects of your body's functioning and pain is no different in this model. You don't divide the body parts and organs into separate little functioning microcosms. The mind and nervous system are all working together. Nociceptive pain, or nociceptive signals, are kind of how we would view traditional thoughts about pain, the pain that comes from the body, this bottom-up approach, the nervous system that sends the signals up to the brain where it is processed. So the physiological approach to pain, that's nociceptive pain. This is traditionally more acute pain. So if you cut yourself or you sprain your ankle, there is some sensation that your body is receiving because of the injury, that it transmits up to the brain, and you feel pain from that.

But with neuroscience, we learned that pain can also be a top-down process. So your mind is initiated. Pain, it syncs together with the body, it seamlessly is choreographed by the body. And even though there is no bodily initiation of the pain, it is still perceived as pain in the body coming from the mind. And it's important to remember that this pain is not imaginary. It's not just perceived. But if you imagine the brain, starting some neuron pathways, and then releasing neurotransmitters into the bloodstream, those neurotransmitters can have physiological effects on the body, which do create pain, but it was started from the brain. The pain signals start in the brain and take effect in the body. So pain is bi directional. It can be from sensory information from the bottom up, and it can be from the top down. So the behavior of the mind is able to influence the environment of the body. Just like in quantum physics, the behavior of someone measuring or someone's intent has an effect on what they're trying to measure.

And this type of pain created by the mind is not generally looked at. And most chronic pain is this type of pain. It's this top-down pain. It's our brain’s attempt to protect us in a way, keeping us in pain, and keeping us on the alert for more causes of pain. Now, our bodies naturally are very amazing at healing. If you have something like a severely sprained ankle, or even a broken bone, that can heal in about six weeks. So if you're having pain that's lasting years, or even decades, you're not just receiving those pain signals from your body. It's not just a signal that something in your body is broken. You have some of the pain that's originating from these protective measures of your brain.

We know that studies have shown healthy people having no back pain that receive MRIs, 80% of them do show degenerative changes in their spine, but they're not feeling any pain from this. So we know that even things like bulging discs, ruptured discs, torn rotator cuffs, all of these physical abnormalities can actually just be structural abnormalities that don't cause pain. Dr. Tim Flynn refers to them as wrinkles on the inside. So think about when we age, we get gray hairs and wrinkles. And just like the wrinkles on the outside don't hurt physically, things like arthritis, degeneration, tears, bulges, scoliosis, having a vertebrae that's tilted—there are lots of studies showing no correlation between these types of degenerative changes and how people perceive pain. You'd think if you look through this medical microscope, that if your knee shows more arthritis, that means you'll feel more pain. But this is just not proven to be true. So they estimate that only 1% to 5% of chronic pain cases are from a purely physiological reason. Yet that's what all of our treatments are focused on. Most people report that when their doctor tells them that their MRI has some sort of abnormality, and that there's a diagnosis, that they have an increase in pain. So this alone suggests there's more going on than just the physical symptom.

Another way we know that arthritic or other degenerative changes aren't felt the same by everyone is with placebo studies. There was a study in which lower back pain patients received a saline solution injection instead of an injection that had steroids in it. But when they believed they were receiving some medicine that would help their back, many of them reported a relief in their symptoms. Now, this one is crazy. There was a study with people with knee arthritis, and they told all of them that they were going to have an arthroscopic knee surgery, or a scope. So some of the people had a fake surgery—they didn't even have the surgery performed. They just got cut open and sewn back up and told that the surgery was a great success. And guess what? A significant number of the people who had this sham surgery still reported that their knee felt better after the procedure. There's no way the purely physical model could account for this. If a doctor can't find something physical, yet the patient still has pain, this can be very stressful, and the patient could feel like they have something to prove, or they could feel frustrated. If we only think of pain as something wrong or broken with our physical body, then that can be extremely frustrating when there's nothing physical they can find.

Some diagnoses have pain that moves around to different parts of the body. And sometimes people will have some short-term success with a surgery or a new treatment only for that pain to return. The purely biomedical model does not explain this, but neuroscience can. Neuroscience teaches us that pain involves memory, association, social aspects, perceptive aspects, affect and emotional aspects. Dr. Bethany Ranes says pain is more aligned with an emotion than anything else. What pain is like an emotion? Isn't that cool to think? I thought that was really awesome because it's not just these nociceptive signals from our body. Pain is complex. It involves our history, our perception, our worries, our fears and how everything plays together in our body. Even physical pain can be considered an emotion. Just like you may feel an emotion in your heart, you might feel an emotion in your body, and they are just the same.

A neuroscientist, Dr. Tor Wager, studied the pathways of rejection. So when people were feeling the emotion of rejection, he found it activated very similar pathways in a similar area to the brain as people feeling the pain pathway. Again, more evidence that pain is like an emotion and can come from this top-down approach. This was super exciting for me to find out because with my study of the Life Coach School, and knowing the model, I've been really studying emotions and learning a lot about emotions. And of course, we know that our feelings or emotions come from our thoughts. And this is exactly what neuroscience teaches. A thought, which is that neuronal, electrical communication that starts in the brain, can produce neurotransmitters, so hormones like dopamine or cortisol. In Molecules of Emotion, by Candace Pert, she teaches that these neuropeptides are things that cause us to feel emotion. So when neurotransmitters connect to their receptor sites, there is a vibration. The molecules shimmy, and sway, and vibrate and move. So as I've been taught, and it all makes sense now, emotions are vibrations in our body. And the majority of chronic pain is like an emotion created by our brain that we feel in our body. Remember when I told you I thought of neuroscience like quantum physics, and you remember in quantum physics, how we're all made up of energy, we're all made up of these wave-like forms that are constantly moving and changing. It's these vibrations.

Now, what I think is really cool is combining this knowledge with the map of consciousness by Dr. David Hawkins, where there's a chart that shows all of the vibrational frequencies of different emotions measured in hertz. So from a scale of 0 to 1000, he gives you the equivalent vibrational frequency of each emotion. So actually 0 is death. There's no emotion there, but very close to the lowest vibration possible is shame at 20, guilt is 30, apathy is 50, grief is 75; fear, desire, anger and pride are all vibrational frequencies under 200. This means that they are considered a destructive energy, it's negative, it has to get its energy from somewhere, either draining the people around you or getting energy from your own body in the form of disease. These are primarily emotions that are felt when you're in fight or flight. So when you're primarily in any of these emotions, especially the very low ones, guilt and shame, it's literally a state where your body is unable to heal itself. And what you must focus on is getting from that fight or flight mode to one of the higher vibrational frequencies—the state of calm for your body where the parasympathetic system takes over, where you're no longer in high alert, and you're able to literally rest, and repair and heal your body.

Our society teaches that when we have negative emotions, we try to solve them by changing something in our outside world. So if we're sad, we might want to buy something. Or if we're angry, we want to change someone else or yell at them. We're also taught to control pain by changing things in our physical bodies. So taking medicine or doing treatments, maybe just having surgery. But what if our pain could be telling us something? What purpose does pain serve? If we burn our hand on a hot stove, we will learn not to touch it again. We don't want that recreation of pain. And since we create things in our bodies with our mind, we know that neuroplastic pain can be pain created by a brain to keep us from doing something, from being vulnerable to experiencing emotions that might be harmful.

Here are four main ways the brain creates and amplifies pain signals to our body. The first is prediction. Our brains are very adept at putting together information from our past and projecting it into our future. So to try to anticipate any pain that might originate from the environment, if it seems similar to an environment we've had pain in before, and we'll just recreate that pain without the environmental cause actually being there just by anticipating it. So I think of it as a tickling game I used to play with my siblings, where we'd hold someone's arms up and come in closer and closer, slowly wiggling our fingers and usually about an inch away from the armpit or so is when someone would start squirming, and laughing and reacting as if they've been tickled. Even though there was actually no physical touch, even touching their body. It's this anticipation and the recreation of the physical sensation purely from your brain alone.

Here's another example of how the brain creates pain through prediction. It's like the placebo effect, but it's called the nocebo effect. So for example, when cancer patients who were going to receive chemotherapy were told the chemotherapy would likely make them nauseous, then 50% of them upon just driving to their treatment began to feel nauseous in anticipation. Another nocebo effect trial included women who were given a pill that was supposed to have a side effect of making their PMS worse. 70% of them did report increased PMS symptoms with the sugar pill. The way our brain tries to predict pain based on the environment can even be seen in this study with anesthesiologists who in one group were very kind and nice and said things were going to go well and positive with the patients. And in the second group, they were very short and grumpy and didn't seem to give their patients very much care. And the success rates of the surgery and their recovery were much higher in the group that had the nice anesthesiologist. It's like their brain predicted from the environment from the input they were given that they would heal normally. And then they did.

The second way the brain creates pain signals is by central sensitization. So in this case, the nervous system becomes highly reactive. The nervous system, it's like it's hypersensitive, it doesn't take much to set it off. So it takes less and less of an actual stimuli to elicit pain. So maybe when the pain begins, you're able to raise your arm 90% of the way over your head. But as the pain continues, you start to feel that pain even before you reach that part of your range of motion; maybe even thinking about moving your arm causes some pain. Your brain is totally in control of how sensitive you are to pain. And it could take very little to set your pain off. Your brain can even generalize if you feel pain under a stressful situation. Then the next time you have a stressful response in your body, you also produce that body pain signal. And again, thinking back to that chronic stress or fight or flight mode. If your nervous system is working overtime, your body is not able to rest and repair and it's more able to perceive things as painful. Our brain can conceive that this is less dangerous for us. If we are not putting ourselves out there and being vulnerable and trying new things, but instead are kept small and kept stuck from our pain, then we won't run that risk of being hurt in the future.

The third way your brain produces pain for your body is by pain catastrophizing. This one is hard. It is so ironic, because when people are in pain, they tend to want to focus on their pain, especially the more pain they have. But what research has shown is that when you focus your intention on your pain, how awful it is, how hopeless you feel when you worry about it, when you're paying attention to it and ruminating on it, then you light up the same regions of the brain that are involved in the processing of pain itself. So we are literally growing pain in our body by placing our attention and focus and thought patterns on our pain. Dr. Beth Darnall says if we don't understand how these pieces fit together, and we're not using the right skills, we are unwittingly increasing our pain. I like to think of the equation that pain times resistance equals suffering. So there is a certain amount of pain. But the more we resist it, the more suffering we have. When we focus our thoughts on our pain, how we shouldn't be having it, how negative it is, how horrible, then we devote a lot more of our attention and our neural pathways to this production of more pain.

The last way that our brain produces more pain for our body is by camisa phobia, which is the fear of moving for fear it will produce pain. I felt this before when I had knee pain for a couple of months. And I went to a yoga class. I was sitting and watching the instructor. And when she did a move, I literally felt pain in my knee because my brain was thinking if I did that move, it would cause pain in my knee. So I felt it beforehand. It was my brain’s way of trying to prevent any further harm. Usually with people who have chronic pain, they have a list of things they cannot do and it grows more and more as they realize any things that can cause them pain, and their brain tends to amplify that situation, and the avoidance of pain and the avoidance of movement.

So it's easy to say with all of this misinformation about chronic pain, what it is the confusion with nociception. Doctors telling you there's something physically wrong with your body, or that they can't find anything wrong with your body. Plus the fact that we know that the more the brain focuses on pain and avoidance of activities, it causes the pain to actually grow. There can be a spiral effect as people stopped doing as many movements maybe stopped doing activities that they enjoy or interacting with people as much on a social level. And when you're so focused on preventing the pain, you start avoiding some of the good things that you naturally like to do that would provide the body's natural endorphins endorphins are created as The natural feel good chemical of the body. But if you're not participating in things you enjoy, not only are you focusing and growing your pain, but you're not providing the natural painkillers that are available to you from your brain. And as a result, the pain becomes more and more disabling.

Having fear, or worry or stress can cause increased pain in the body. So how do we decrease that pain? Well, fortunately, our brain is plastic. We can change this process by focusing on more positive thoughts and feelings. If you can start to fill your life with more positive activities, then when you engage in those activities, not only does your brain suppress the pain, but the pain becomes less important to you, because you're doing things that you value or things that have meaning for you. This basically turns down the pain when you engage in positive activities. So when you fear and avoid the pain, you increase the pain response. But when you engage in positive activities, thoughts or feelings, you can turn down the pain response. Chronic pain is an epidemic of fear. That's how it is perpetuated.

And remember how low those vibrations of fear are on the map of consciousness? We want to increase our vibrations to higher emotions so we can rest and repair. Even courage or acceptance has a much higher vibration than fear and can help your body get to that healing state. Gratitude is an emotion that ranks about 900 hertz, so it's a very high-frequency emotion. That's because when you're in the emotional state of gratitude, there's no scarcity. You're just grateful for what you already have. So if you are really wishing that your life was different, and you are upset that this is happening to you, and you can't wait for things to change until you get out of pain, then it's impossible to feel gratitude. But looking on purpose for things to be grateful for, and cultivating as great of a sense of gratitude as you can, under your current conditions, is one of the best ways to actually change your condition. If you can think thoughts that genuinely give you the emotion of gratitude, if you can shift your focus to things that bring you joy, and if you can do things in life that have value to you, you will increase your natural endorphins and decrease this programmed response, this hyper-reactive response, to pain.

Now the last, but very important, piece to healing is to have patience and compassion for yourself. Just like if you listen to some of my other podcasts, you might have learned that we are able to control our emotions despite what is going on in the outside circumstances of the world. But just like emotional regulation sounds really nice in theory, it can be actually very hard to do. You might get frustrated with yourself if you do end up getting angry and yelling at your kids because you know, you should know, better. The same type of thing can happen with pain. Be curious, not judgmental, replace criticism with compassion. And try to be open to what your body is telling you and teaching you rather than being resistant to the pain.

If you have questions about applying this in your life, sign up for a one-on-one coaching call with me. My website, bodyandmindlifecoach.com, should be up in a couple of weeks. But until then you can email me at info@bodyandmindlifecoach.com.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And, of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know who wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #14- Reprogram Your Brain to Stop Worrying Apr 09, 2020

In this episode we talk about worry and anxiety- why we worry, how worrying effects our health, and techniques you can use today to stop your out of control worrying.

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Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind—Episode 14–Reprogram Your Brain to Stop Worrying.

Hello, today we are going to talk all about worrying, understanding why we worry, if it's helpful, and how to stop worrying. Especially if you worry excessively, this can really affect your life. I know I have some anxiety and worry has been part of my life since I can remember. I feel like a lot of it maybe is genetic. There are other members of my family that worry a lot. Definitely the society that we all grow up in does tend to promote worry. Sometimes I feel like I overthink everything. And my brain is just so active. And it seems almost beyond my control that my brain just goes into this worry mode and there's nothing I can do to help it.

But I have learned some techniques and tools that I want to share with you today concerning worrying, and how we can change that pattern. I'm also happy to announce that I'm working on a six-week intensive program for decreasing anxiety. And that will be ready shortly. I'll definitely keep you informed about it. But just so you know, today will kind of scratch the surface of some tips and tricks, but to really implement it in your life. I suggest really diving deeply into your own issues and thoughts surrounding anxiety.

I always find it helpful to start with looking at the brain and our evolution as a species, and why we worry. Did you know humans are the only animals that have chronic stress and anxiety? Other animals do feel stress, right? They feel there's something dangerous in their environment, and they have a stress response. And then they solve that problem and stop the stress. So if we imagine a zebra that's out on the savanna, and is eating some grass, and then here's an approaching lion, they run for cover. And when the threat is over, they return to grazing and going on with their life, finding shelter, finding water, whatever they need to do. It's very moment to moment and when their body is not under that stressful situation, they're not thinking about the future.

Humans have this huge prefrontal cortex, this most evolved and advanced part of our brain where we are able to conceive of ourselves as separate beings. We’re able to think about the past and we’re able to think about the future, which usually causes a lot of worry. Admittedly, our ancestors did have to worry about surviving a lot. They may have been threatened by predators or the prospects of not having enough food. But I would dare say all of you who are listening to this podcast today probably are not in survival “fight and flight” type of situation chronically daily. Although our brains perceive it as such, we probably have shelter and food and clean drinking water. We're probably not threatened by being outcast from our tribe and having to survive on our own.

But our brains still have these primitive responses and we want to people please so we are accepted by people because our brain literally fears that we are going to not survive or we will die if people don't accept us. “But wait,” you may be saying, “we are in a survival situation right now.” Right, COVID-19: it's gonna kill us all. That's what the media keeps telling us. That's what the government keeps telling us. There's a lot of evidence that we are in a state of survival right now—this is verified. Just turn on the news. Look at the numbers, right?

But let's look at the numbers. I looked up some statistics and these are worldwide numbers just from January 1, 2020 until today, April 9, 2020. So far this year there have been 89,975 deaths from Coronavirus. Another statistic very close to this number: Worldwide there have been 84,110 deaths of mothers who died in childbirth. There have been 132,333 deaths from the seasonal flu. There have been 229,161 deaths from water-related diseases, 291,812 deaths by malaria, 289,950 suicides, 367,340 deaths from road traffic accidents, 457,453 deaths from HIV, or AIDS. There have been 680,609 deaths from alcohol, 1,360,360 deaths from smoking, 2,234,939 deaths from cancer, and 3,043,482 deaths from hunger this year.

All of these numbers are updated continually and available on worldometers.info. And I'm not suggesting that you look them up to freak yourself out about other ways you could possibly die. But statistically, we are more likely, way more likely, to die of driving in a car or even worldwide, there are more people dying of hunger. I mean, over 3 million so far this year. Imagine if we had the compassion and concern for humanity that we did fighting hunger or fighting cancer or alcoholism or smoking, which have deaths in the millions already this year, versus the number of deaths from Coronavirus.

Ironically, this social isolating and the news and propaganda seem to actually be causing a lot more people to turn to ways of trying to escape reality and buffering by consuming more alcohol or doing more smoking. Another statistic I found interesting is that right now there are approximately 1.5 million cases of Coronavirus in the world. And, of course, this number is probably not accurate because we know that up to 50% of the people who are in contact with the virus actually show no symptoms, and so they're not going to get tested. But if there are 1.5 million active cases, they say that 1 million of them, which is 96%, are mild; only about 4%, or 48,000, of the cases would be considered serious or critical.

But we are bombarded with the scariest cases, the most sensational headlines. When there's a teen or a baby that dies of Coronavirus, everyone hears about it. As humans, we have this morbid curiosity and our brains do have a negativity bias; we're always looking for things that might be dangerous for us—things that can keep ourselves safe. Sometimes we don't even realize the flawed thinking we have going on subconsciously. I coached someone who really justified in her head that by checking the numbers, by watching the news, by staying up to date on the current information of how many deaths there have been, that that would prevent her from dying. And when I pointed it out, we laughed and she realized she's not going to be immortal because she is checking the numbers. She's still a human. But her brain kept telling her that checking the numbers was important and that some way she's surviving because of it.

We know the CDC guidelines. We know about hand washing, not touching our faces, social distancing. Following those guidelines, we have a better chance of keeping us and other people safe. The goal is to flatten the curve so our medical systems are not overwhelmed. But unfortunately, all of the media attention that is given to this subject has really caused a lot of stress and anxiety and worry in people, which can also have harmful health effects.

I've talked on other podcasts before about how anxiety and chronic stress lead to health complications such as irritability, headaches, body aches, stomach issues and strain on the cardiovascular system. And most importantly, it leads to decreased immunity. So with all else being equal, a person who is under a lot of stress is less likely to fight off the Coronavirus if they are exposed and more likely to be one of the 4% of the people who are considered critical or severe if they do get the virus.

I've said on other podcasts and will probably continue to use this quote by Eckhart Tolle, “Worry pretends to be necessary.” In reality, we don't have control over when or how we're going to die, even if we isolate, even if we judge others for not isolating enough or for isolating too much. Even if we wash our hands twenty times a day. We have this illusion of control, that if we just do these certain things, then we'll somehow not be mortal and not die. But when we live in fear, we're basically sacrificing our peace of today by worrying about tomorrow. Fear does not stop death, it stops life.

I was reading an article on calmclinic.com about how chronic anxiety can cause neurological symptoms in the body. There can be symptoms that resemble MS, or brain tumors or Lyme disease. Chronic anxiety can cause tingling or numbness in the hands and feet. It can also cause coldness or burning sensations in the hands and feet. It can cause nerve pain because the brain activates nerve sensors when under a lot of anxiety and stress. It can cause lightheadedness or dizziness because of the adrenaline that's produced when you're under anxiety. It can cause chronic headaches or migraines. It can even cause vision problems. Chronic stress and anxiety can cause fatigue. A lot of times you're not able to sleep well—there's insomnia. There can even be memory loss as a result of too much of the stress, cortisol, hormone. And even severe anxiety can cause confusion to the point that people think something is wrong physically with their brain.

Now, there are a lot of reasons not to worry, not to have stress, not to have chronic anxiety. But how do you stop it? Especially if your brain has been programmed to react this way for probably decades? I've definitely had times in my life where I am overthinking, and my brain doesn't seem like it can shut off. Often our current medical system has a band-aid approach: Take this medicine to stop your worrying. We're never really taught to address the root cause, and that it's even possible for this to change. So what can we do when we find ourselves worrying? The first thing to remember is that worrying occurs when you're not in the present moment. Thinking about the present moment, there's no possible way that you can be worrying.

Worrying either comes from thinking about things in the past that you may have guilt or shame or regret about, or things in the future. So how can you be more present? Try to describe what is occurring for you very objectively. If someone came in the room and saw you, they might see you're sitting on the couch, or you might be laying on your bed or you might be hearing some words on the news. Your body might be warm or cold. You might feel the textures on the surfaces that you're sitting or standing on or the ground beneath your feet. You might be smelling or tasting or hearing something. Noticing all of these things can get you more into the present moment. Notice that the worry or the fear are just basically stories that you're telling. They’re painful stories, and they're optional.

Byron Katie says we only do three things in life. We stand, we sit and we lie horizontal. When we bring everything back to the bare facts, the circumstances in our life, we see that the rest is just a story. It's just thoughts produced by our brain, the way that we're interpreting the situation. And we can choose to think about these things however we want. COVID-19 is a neutral circumstance. The fact that there is a social distancing mandate is neutral. If we're feeling anything negative when we think about COVID-19 or social distancing, it's because of the thoughts we're choosing to think.

Imagine that suffering or worry or depression is our body's signal to us that we are attaching to a thought. And Byron Katie teaches us that any time we are having pain or a negative emotion, it's because we're believing a thought that is in contrast to reality. Think about this emotional pain, or even physical pain, as our body's natural alarm system. We are having thoughts that aren't serving us; we are having thoughts that are in contrast to reality. A lot of times those thoughts look like:

This shouldn't be happening.

People should not be dying from this.

My life should look different in some way than how it looks right now.

My business should be open.

I should be making money at my job.

Do you notice a lot of shoulds that our brain thinks are true? That's usually a sign we're thinking something in contrast to reality. The reality is, it's happening. The more we can accept that, the less emotional pain we'll have.

Maybe you're having a lot of worry about the way you're handling parenting at this time, the way you're handling homeschooling your kids, maybe you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself and not feeling like you're showing up the way you want to or the way you normally would. And maybe that's true. Maybe we could have a little bit of compassion for ourselves and understanding that there are a lot of adjustments we're making right now and maybe not acting like we would have if society was its normal way. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe we can cut ourselves a little bit of slack and really focus on what's important.

I've been giving myself extra time to sleep, to take naps every day and that's been really, really nice. I think my body has needed it lately. Think about other ways your body can restore itself right now. Here's something I read on Facebook. So your kids survived on snacks yesterday. They are still safe, they are still loved. So your kids had too much tablet time. They are still safe. They are still loved. So your kids have not been keeping up with their homeschooling. They are still safe. They are still loved. So your kids have no routine and are staying up late and sleeping in. They are still safe. They are still loved. So your house is a mess. You are tired, you are snappy, you are overwhelmed. You are still safe. You are still loved. You are not failing at anything. You're surviving everything.

In order to overcome worry and make your life and the lives of those around you better, you must separate the facts from the painful story you're telling. If you've been listening to my other podcasts, you know about the model. If not, review—it's Episode 5. So it's one of the most important parts of the model, separating the circumstance line from your thought about it. The circumstance is something neutral. It's something objective. It's something that everyone could agree on. And then we have our thoughts about it.

So, for example, social distancing—there might be some people that have very different thoughts about social distancing than other people do. If you're not feeling like social distancing is something that is neutral, it's because you have so many thoughts about it that are making it not seem neutral. But try to think, maybe, what other people would think about it. Hypothetically, there could be someone who enjoys it. There are definitely some companies that are making money because of it. So try and get out of your own head, your own perspective of reality, how can you look at what is going on in a different way?

Maybe your financial situation seems very real and scary to you right now. Maybe you're worrying a lot about the future of your finances. But what is going on in the present moment? You know that worry only occurs when you're thinking about the future. And I think in society, we've generally accepted that we do need to worry about things and we can change the future by being more worried about things. If we don't worry enough, we won't be secure. We're irresponsible if we don't, but really, when we're in a state of worry, we're not thinking clearly. We're scattered In our thinking, we're maybe buffering, trying to avoid reality by trying to escape—watching Netflix, or drinking or maybe even spending more money. There's really no way that worry helps us. If we want to change our financial prospects, we need to be clear headed. We need to have inspiration, or we need to feel trusting or we need to feel gratitude and abundance.

What's going on for you right now if you're not looking at the future, or the past? Do you have food in your pantry? Do you have a home? Do you have heat or power in your house? Do you have resources on the internet? Maybe you have resources that you never knew you had, and time that you didn't have before to spend developing talents or new business ideas that you wouldn't have thought of otherwise. What if you could truly believe that everything is happening just as it should. Maybe you were just wrong—you thought you were going to get money from your business being open this month. But since it's not open this month, you'll have to get your money some other way. Maybe you thought you needed more money than you actually do need.

What if you could believe that everything happens for me, not to me? When you see that everything is for you, then you can begin to look for evidence of why this is happening for you. It allows you to have a space where you can learn from what's going on. And you can look at it in a way that you can really see and believe that this is happening for you. Have you ever had an experience in your life, that at the time you thought things were going wrong? It seemed really, horribly wrong. But then when you look back, you see that it's probably best that it happened the way it did. In fact, you got some benefit or some blessings from this other way that you never knew or could have seen or predicted at the time. Maybe the difficult thing you went through caused a lot of learning and growth that has helped you in your life later. I like to think about a painful struggle I've gone through, or physical pain, as giving me empathy for someone who's going through that and maybe the ability to help them in a deeper way that I wouldn't be able to if I hadn't personally gone through the suffering.

I have a friend who bought a house. It was a hoarder’s house. So it was really trashed on the inside and disgusting. So they got it in it and remodeled the house and got to the point of, you know, putting siding on the house. It was pretty much completely redone. And he was burning some weeds in the yard and put out the fire when he was done. But one of the embers got up under the siding. And after he left that night, some neighbors called him and told him his house was on fire and it was completely burned down to the ground. So all of the money they'd spent on remodeling and the time and the effort that had gone into it was completely gone within the course of a few hours. Needless to say, he was devastated. And especially, really down on himself because he basically lit his own house on fire. But he was able to rebuild and because the old, existing structure had been burned down, he was able to start new and had a new floor design that suited his needs better. He actually built a bonus room, which he never would have had in the original house. And they actually found the piping that was going from the street to the house, now that it was exposed, was old and corroded. So all of the water that would have been going into his house would have been pretty much disgusting. So he got new pipes, new floor plan and a brand new house and two years later, he can look back and really have gratitude for the fire. It blessed his life in a way. It gave him a lot of strength emotionally as well. Now he has this beautiful, modern, new house that's completely redone, and is better than ever.

So what do you want to look back on this time in your life and see that was positive about it? Maybe you gain some strength. Maybe you stop an addiction, or you work on the worrying habit that has plagued you your whole life. Maybe having this time and this opportunity to be faced with something very difficult is going to allow you to overcome and be stronger for it. Sometimes when you're in the midst of it, it's hard to have that perspective. Talking to someone or getting coached can be very helpful, but also journaling about what's going on in your head. Get everything out of your head and onto paper. I’ve recommended this many times, because it is so much more effective than just trying to think it through in your head. So when your hand is writing, your brain is a little more involved with the physicality of the handwriting. And so you're able to access some of the more subconscious thinking that you're not realizing is even going on because your conscious mind just filters it out. And once you start doing this for a while, you'll start to recognize certain patterns of thinking, certain thoughts you have over and over, that keep coming up for you. Bruce Lipton describes them as programs.

I think of them as when I was developing my brain as a child under the age of seven. And I was putting in all the programs of how the world works, and how I should act so that my brain could run efficiently and effectively. I developed these ways of thinking that are underlying and maybe not serving me. I've talked about one of my programs that keeps coming up for me is I don't have enough time. And with what's going on right now, I actually do have more time than usual. So it's interesting, I noticed that program doesn't come up for me as much right now. But a similar one, that is, There's too much to do is coming up for me a lot. The more I'm looking around my house, I see all the imperfections. I see the closets that need to be reorganized, and I see all the work that needs to be done. And I'm working on some personal growth things and my business. And I just feel like there's too much to do, even though that's basically just something that my brain made up and came up with. And it stresses me out when I let that program run unattended. So I really have to clue in and notice, Oh, that's what I'm doing.

Another one that I developed early in my childhood and has stayed with me and keeps coming up, even when I think I have it nailed in one context, something challenging comes up. And I start to think What would the neighbors think? So right now for me, I know I have some kind of extreme-thinking neighbors that post a lot on Facebook with a lot of social shaming. And if I do leave my house, I have become more aware of this fear I have that people are judging me. They think I'm cruel and heartless. They think I'm a murderer, basically, because we define essential tasks differently. And it took really sitting down with my coach and talking through this to realize I am causing myself worry and stress when I have these thoughts, and I'm actually proving to myself that I am not a caring person, when I worry and stress and fret about what the neighbors think. I'm not caring to myself.

Our brain always wants to prove itself true. That's part of its program, the reticular activating system, necessarily filters the information incoming into our brain. So we look for and find things that prove our brain right. This is just how our brain is designed to function. And it's functioning just as it should. It's functioning well. It's functioning right. This is the default setting, but we can also upgrade our brain. So notice your thoughts. Notice your programs with compassion.

Another technique to combat worry about the future is to shift your focus to something you can do now. So if your fear is about your health, you're worried about catching the virus, then try to think of something you can do that's positive for your health right now. Or each day. You could take a walk, or if you don't feel comfortable going outside, you could exercise in your home. There are a lot of streaming platforms that have free exercise opportunities that you can take advantage of. I know my yoga studio, InBALANCE Utah, has a YouTube channel with awesome virtual classes, one of them by yours truly, as a matter of fact. Exercise actually increases your natural endorphins and helps you feel better on a physical level. Feeling good can help reprogram your brain from this state of worry, and constant arousal and stress to actually being able to be present and enjoy your present moment without thinking about the past or the future.

Laughter is also really great for this. Norman Cousins healed himself from ankylosing spondylitis, an autoimmune disorder, by watching funny movies. Instead of worrying about all of the homeschooling requirements with your children that they're not keeping up with, maybe you could focus on doing one hour per day, or I was able to pay one of my older sons to tutor his younger brother. Another thing you could try is talking to the teachers, maybe sending them a message with what's going on in your current situation, asking for help. I know one of the girls in my daughter's class was given permission to do less homework each day because they have a family with lots of young kids. And mom doesn't have enough time and they have to share a computer. So identifying what you're anxious about, and then having some small plan that you can take control of each day.

Try and spend as much time thinking of a positive thing as you do focusing on the negative. So if you are watching one hour of news per day, try to spend one hour listening to something else that's uplifting for you or that's inspiring, or again, creating vs consuming. Another technique is to actually plan time for worrying. So plan a time where you're just going to worry about all the things you want to worry about, and not really repress that emotion or try to get out of that sense of worry, but have it constrained to a certain time.

And Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach School suggests that you worry while you work. So pick one small place of your house to organize. So maybe it's your sock drawer, or your junk drawer, or one closet that you're going through and designate that time as time that you are going to, with purpose, worry, as well as do something that you do have control over, which is managing your environment and what you're choosing to keep and what you're choosing to donate or get rid of. It's just like with your thoughts, choosing thoughts that serve you. You can look at each item and determine Is this something that I still want in my life? and it's symbolic, in a way, that you're doing the same thing physically as you are doing with your mental worries. You could limit the amount of time that you're checking the news, or looking at numbers.

Even before all of this pandemic, there were studies showing people who spent a lot of time on social media had a higher rate of depression. So we know that disconnecting and detaching from various types of media can actually really help with decreasing our worry. My coach actually called her primitive brain her Facebook feed, which I think is pretty true. Spending time calming your mind in meditation is extremely important. So people are sometimes intimidated by meditation, thinking they don't know how to do it properly, and they're not good at it. But remember, your brain does produce 60,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. So even just trying to quiet your mind, you might only last a second or two before you have another thought that's coming into your head. But that's normal. The main point of meditation is not to have a clear mind free of thoughts, but as a way to reflect and notice that you are attached to certain thoughts, and to practice letting them go.

Remember that rewiring our brain takes time. If you are as old as I am, and in your forties, you've been practicing, thinking a certain way for over four decades. One way I like to approach the thoughts that do come into my mind when I'm trying to quiet my mind and meditate is by either labeling them as future or past. So thoughts that come into my mind are generally not about the present moment, but it's thoughts about what I'm going to cook for dinner, or concerns about what someone might have thought. Just label it future or past. And then let it go.

There are also many guided meditations that are available. So if you want to focus on the words of someone else, instead of being alone with your thoughts, sometimes that can be a nice way to start too. Breathing is one of the best ways we can start to calm our anxious mind. So breathing we do automatically. It's something we do from the moment we're born till the moment we die. But we aren't always consciously breathing or in control of our breathing. And especially when anxiety takes over, we have more shallow, rapid breathing. So if you find yourself worrying, start by taking slower, deeper, more purposeful breaths. So if you're not able to get ahold of your thoughts and calm your mind, you can kind of start by calming your body in a physical way that can have an effect on the way you're thinking as well. I encourage you to try to breathe in fully. So imagine filling up your entire lungs, maybe even into your stomach and down to your intestines.

Something that usually happens with anxiety can be stomach issues or gastrointestinal issues. So I've had ulcerative colitis. And I learned that deep breathing actually helps that physical pain I was feeling. So one of the things they know about GI issues is there's a decreased blood flow and some mild oxygen deprivation to the tissues there, which makes sense because when you're in fight or flight, blood is diverted from your stomach to your muscles so you have more power to run away. So when I breathe in deeply, I imagine all of that oxygen I'm breathing in going all the way down and oxygenating clear down to my pelvis. And then when I breathe out, I try to breathe out fully. So you may try counting four counts in, four counts out as you're breathing. But try it. Breathing can be one of the quickest and easiest tools and one of the tools you always have with you. So getting good at that can be really, really helpful. I know it sounds weird to get good at breathing, but for real, it's a thing.

Another important way to rewire your brain is to cultivate positive emotions. Have positive emotions on purpose. If you can think of the future, your future self, and pair it with a positive emotion, and do this over and over on purpose, your brain starts to believe that's reality. They've shown this in research, you can go back to Episode 2 to learn about how powerful our thoughts are, and then know that pairing it with a positive emotion makes those thoughts even more powerful.

This is seen with people who start a gratitude journal looking for three things to write down each day that they're grateful for. And after a month, they report greater happiness, greater contentment with their life and satisfaction, because they start looking for things to be grateful for. And it starts to literally rewire those circuits in their brain from always looking for the negative things to starting to look for positive things on purpose. You can also try to feel gratitude in your body and really feel and describe the feeling. Does it feel like it's in a certain area of your body? For me, by my chest, by my heart, is where I feel gratitude. And sometimes what I'll do if I'm feeling stressed, is to actually just try to focus on recreating that physical feeling in my body.

Joe Dispenza says, “Can you accept the notion that once you change your internal state, you don't need the external world to provide you with a reason to feel joy, gratitude, appreciation, or any other elevated emotion?” So usually what we're taught is if we can change the circumstances in our life, then that's what makes us feel happy. But what he's saying, and you can probably find examples in your life, you know, if you're really feeling a lot of love, say you're in love with someone, you are not as bugged if people are not driving well, or if there's a long line at the supermarket or if someone makes a snide comment. You can brush it off because you're just feeling so good because the love you're feeling in your heart.

I'm going to end with another quote by Joe Dispenza, which I think is really relevant to what's going on right now. He says, “It's our job to evolve our brains to the next level so they understand that we're not in any physical danger, that stress and anxiety are not necessary. In fact, we can create a way of living that helps us know not only to survive, but to absolutely thrive.” Let me know what you think of this.

And if you have questions or comments, or if you're interested in getting coaching, or finding out more about the six-week anxiety program we'll be starting soon, please email me at info@bodyandmindlifecoach.com. I'll have my email in the show notes.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And, of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know who wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #13- Helpless vs Hopeful Apr 01, 2020

It's easy to feel helpless when you are focusing on things that are out of your control. And right now in the world there are lots of things we have no control over.

In this episode we talk about how feeling helpless effects your health, and use the model to show how in the same circumstance you could feel hopeful instead.

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Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

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Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind—Episode 13–Helpless vs Hopeful.

Hello, today we're going to talk about feeling helpless vs feeling hopeful. There are times in our life we might feel helpless. And right now there are a lot of circumstances that are creating situations where people might feel helpless: the Coronavirus and social distancing mandates, the lack of food on the shelves, kids home from school who maybe parents didn't plan on, maybe different job requirements if you're working from home or working remotely, or if you're going to work with fewer people there, or maybe you're completely out of work. There's also a lot of information that's available. So if you're curious, you can always find statistics and research and sensational headlines featuring what's going on in the world today. There are also a lot of people acting in ways we can't control. People are hoarding toilet paper, or people are going out when they shouldn't, or people are taking it too seriously, causing themselves physical consequences and pain.

There are a lot of things outside of our control. We cannot control nature or what other people do. And when we're thinking thoughts that make us feel out of control, or we think that the future is unpredictable or unknown, we can feel helpless. It's kind of a form of victimization. We don't think it's possible for us to help ourselves or for anyone to help us. Helplessness can also lead to the stress response in our body. Our brain does not like unpredictability, and it can cause worry and fear and anxiety. Our bodies are made for handling stress in short periods of time. But when stress becomes chronic, it can lead to a lot of detrimental effects on our body.

It can trigger headaches, or intensify tension headaches. It can lead to heartburn, high blood sugar, because the liver releases extra sugar, or glucose, into the bloodstream. It can lead to stomach ache or tense muscles in your body. You can have rapid breathing, pounding heart, high blood pressure, and all these effects on your heart could be very serious. Over 630,000 Americans die of heart disease each year. Heart disease is actually the leading cause of death in America. So any of these negative emotions like helplessness or worry or fear, anything that sets off the fight or flight response can really have negative effects in our body, especially when we're feeling those emotions over and over for a long period of time. So the first step, when we are feeling a negative emotion, or some stress in our body, some tension in our muscles, some tightness in our stomach is to try and identify what thought you're thinking at the time.

Now, you're probably having multiple thoughts. Remember, our brain just produces thoughts like a machine. It produces 60,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. But we also tend to have some repeating thoughts that we think over and over again. So try to identify one of your main thoughts, the one that seems to really be causing you that emotional and physical pain. So remember, helplessness is a feeling, and you can work backwards in the model to find the thought. Your thought may be I don't think I'll have enough money to make it. What is the circumstance that's causing that thought? And I want you to be really careful here.

A lot of times we'll have thoughts and we'll think they're true. We'll think that they’re circumstances. We’ll think that everyone else thinks the same thing or it is just a fact of life. But if you've had the thought I won't get paid until May 1, that might actually not be a circumstance. Maybe your circumstance is that your work is closing until May 1 and your regular job won't be paying you until May 1. But to say that you won't get paid until May 1 at all, in any form, isn't exactly true. You might be able to sell something and get paid or someone might owe you some money and pay you back. And those distinctions might seem kind of smaller, insignificant, but separating what is really actually objectively true, from what our thoughts about it are can really make all the difference and take a lot of the drama away from the story we're telling.

So to summarize the model so far, circumstance: your work is closing until May 1, thought: I don’t think I’ll have enough money to make it, feeling: helpless. And then how do you act when you're feeling helpless? Most likely you're worrying, your mind is not clear because you keep thinking about the money. Maybe you're buffering in some form: eating or drinking or watching TV or spending money. Maybe you're avoiding getting things done, putting things off, again, kind of not able to focus. Maybe you're kind of ornery with the people around you. You might be feeling out of control or frustrated or blaming other people. So the result from all of your actions is actually that you're creating this space where you might not have enough money because you're not really doing anything proactively. In fact, maybe you're doing the opposite. You could even be spending more money.

Basically, when you have the thought, I don't think I'll have enough money to make it, your brain goes to work proving that true through your actions and through finding examples to prove it. So you're not looking for other ways to earn money. You're not thinking of any positive solutions. Maybe you're not thinking of asking for help as something that could be an option for you. Maybe you do not see asking for help as a sign of strength. Do you see it as a sign of weakness? And if you're helpless, it kind of blocks you from your creativity, you're giving up. It's like you don't think there are any other options. And most importantly, you're not taking control of the things you actually do have control over.

Did you know there are always things that you have control over? I always think of Viktor Frankl, the man who wrote Man's Search for Meaning. He was a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps. So when I think of an extreme situation of people controlling many, many aspects of your life, including what you eat and where you are and what you wear and what you own, and he was still able to realize through

all of this that no matter what is controlled about a person's environment, they still have the ability to choose how they think.

I think this model really shows that when you're feeling helpless, there really aren't any good results that are going to come out of your life. So if you're spending a lot of time focusing on, thinking about, worrying about things that are outside of your control, it's going to be very frustrating for you, and it's going to cause you emotional pain. Again, remember things that other people do are out of your control. So if people are not following the behaviors that you would want them to, out of your control. If you're not able to find toilet paper at the store, that's out of your control. If you're not sure how long your kids are going to be home from school, or you don't know what the future holds, or you don't know how long things will last, you don't know if things will ever go back to normal. All of these types of thoughts are really just thinking about things that you physically yourself cannot control. And so it may give you a feeling of helplessness.

But if you are focusing on what you can control, that's an area where you have some influence. Your attitude is something you can control. Whether you're following social distancing procedures or not is within your control. Whether you're getting outside and moving your body and taking care of your health is within your control. Whether you're turning off the news, instead of seeking it out, whether you're spending a lot of time on social media, or limiting it, all of those things are in your control. The choice of activities that you're doing at home is within your control. When we focus on what we do have control over, that's where we can take our power back.

I encourage you to journal. Write down the things that are worrying you, the things that are stressing you out, or if you are feeling helpless—why? From what you wrote, try to find a circumstance something that's actually factually true. (Hey, that rhymes!) Your circumstance might be COVID-19, or social distancing mandates, or that your kids are out of school until May 1, or, like the model we did, your work is closing until May 1. You get to choose how you think about the circumstances in your life. If someone is feeling abundant with money, they may not mind at all that their work is closed until May 1. They might love that. The circumstance isn't what causes you pain, it's your thoughts about it. It's the thought I don't think I'll have enough money to make it that causes the helpless feeling and the actions and the results that you don't want.

So what if you wanted to feel hopeful instead of helpless? Now you can really put any emotion that you want to feel here. I chose hopeful because I thought it sounded good for the title, but you could equally pick other emotions like courageous, trusting, optimistic, or even just neutral. Neutral would be better than helpless by quite a bit. Because if you're neutral about the situation, you're not positive or negative, so at least if you're not in a negative emotion, then you're not going to have negative actions and results.

We're going to create a model where the circumstance is the same: your work is closing until May 1. But the feeling you want to feel about that is hopeful. So we know that our feelings come from our thoughts. And so what you need to do here is try to find a thought that works for you, that your brain can believe, that gives you that feeling of feeling hopeful, and it might take some trial and error. Sometimes I will come up with a thought, say it in my head, really try to feel it in my body. And sometimes the feeling that thought creates is not the one I'm looking for, or that I anticipate, so maybe your thought could be, Now I have time to work on the side business that I've wanted to get going. And if your brain can truly believe that, then that might create that feeling of feeling hopeful for you.

But maybe that is something your brain does not quite believe. Or it feels scary, because you don't know if your business is going to work out or not. So it doesn't feel hopeful to you. You could try the thought Things are happening exactly as they're supposed to. Or maybe I know I'll be able to come up with the money I need. Or maybe Right now in this moment, I have all the things I need. Maybe you could think I can be creative in getting my needs met. Especially if you're open to accepting help from other people. This can be a beautiful time to allow other people to give and receive that joy from being able to give to someone else. Practicing receiving is actually quite a skill that I would encourage developing. It's often much harder to receive than it is to give. And it's something that, again, we're kind of taught as a weakness to ask for help or to receive help, rather than a sign of strength.

You could have kind of a curious attitude, and think, I wonder where I'm going to get the money I need. And if you can believe that in a kind of positive way, again, it's not from a scarcity mentality. But you know that money is going to come from somewhere. And you're just not sure where yet. That's actually a thought I practiced believing quite a bit when I was in a situation where I was borrowing a lot of money from my parents and not making enough in my work to make ends meet. And because I approached it with more curiosity, I was actually seeking out ways that I could make extra money by selling things online, or by looking into other ideas that I hadn't previously thought of. So if you're feeling hopeful, the actions you would take would look a lot different than if you're feeling helpless. You'd probably be thinking outside of the box quite a bit more, maybe looking for ways you can contribute and provide value to people. You might be able to trade some supplies for some other supplies that you need. You might be able to talk to your landlord or the bank. You might be able to cut some things out that are not as necessary right now, and save on some of your expenses in a way. And then the result would also be more positive.

You really might surprise yourself with the creative options you're able to come up with. And remember, humans are very capable of surviving hard times. I think a lot of ingenuity and creativity and seeing that true human spirit does come from the difficulties of life and when things aren't going the way we think they're supposed to. This is a time we can get stronger. This could be like the free weights of our life. This is just some resistance that we have, that's going to transform us and show us the strength we never knew we had.

So I encourage you to do some journaling and some models. This is a great way to clean up your thinking, to think thoughts on purpose, to think thoughts that serve you, and ultimately to get the results you want in your life. If you'd like help with your models, or with getting some coaching, please reach out to me. You can reach me at info@bodyandmindlifecoach.com. My email will also be in the show notes. And right now I'm doing a free consultation if it's your first time coaching with me.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And, of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know who wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #12- Consuming vs Creating Mar 22, 2020

This episode talks about the types of negative consuming we are prone to, especially with the current circumstances in the world. And why we do it.

I discuss how creating is a great thing we can do for ourselves, our health, and for those around us.

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This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind—Episode 12–Consuming vs Creating.

Hello, today we are going to talk about consuming vs creating. I think this is especially important right now as a lot of us, with what's going on in the news and uncertainty, are spending a lot of time consuming information versus using our brains to produce or create. Consuming is an action of taking things in. It's more passive. It's easier for your brain because your brain doesn't have to learn anything new or rewire any neural pathways. So it's very energy efficient, and our brain likes to conserve energy.

On the other hand, creating requires energy. Your brain might be having to problem solve or do things it's not very comfortable or good at. And there's always safety in consuming vs creating. When we're consuming, we're not exposing any parts of ourselves, we're not having to be vulnerable. But sometimes with creating, there's a chance that people might not like what we create or not think it's good enough. So there are a couple of reasons why our brain would rather consume than create if we think of how our brains evolved.

In primitive societies, survival was so important, and consuming was a really important part of staying alive, you had to get sustenance, but their lives were naturally quite balanced between consuming and creating. If anything, they might have had to create more than they consumed. They had to work to go out and find food. And when they ate a berry, they would get a hit of dopamine and they would get this reward. But today in our society, we've taken all those berries and mashed them down into this concentrated juice. So we have so much more sugar available, and we just go to the store and buy it. And we don't have to work for it.

There are so many sources of this concentrated pleasure—these intense hits of dopamine that we get, and it could be from types of foods, or it could be from getting likes on social media, or it could be from shopping. Or think about pornography, someone could easily have this fantasy sexual experience without having to meet anyone in person, go on any dates, expend any energy or any money with trying to get that person to like them. But virtually all of this is just created, and they're getting this intense dopamine hit and this pleasure from very little work or creation.

If we think about what most of us were taught about weight control and how to take care of our bodies, we kind of get intuitively this dynamic between consuming and creating. So if we're consuming a lot of food and not creating or moving, then we will have an imbalance—our body won't run efficiently. A comedian I heard say, “You show your work, right?” You start to have extra weight, put on extra pounds, your body stores that extra energy in the form of fat. And that can really be hard to remove, you have to either decrease your consumption or increase your production or creativity or movement.

I was talking to one of my yoga teachers about this. And we were talking about how people just need to add in movement more in their day. And she was talking about how if she's watching TV, she would get up and dance during the commercials. First of all, I thought, What is she watching that she's still watching commercials? And I also thought, This does take planning and energy, you have to make a conscious decision to do something that is not just passive for your brain.

It's important to remember that consuming in itself isn't bad, right? Like we have to have some input of food. But it's when there's not a balance that we get into problems. And when we're using food as an escape from our daily life, the kinds of foods that we're generally kind of buffering with or trying to escape with are not nutrient-dense, low-calorie, high-vitamin foods, they're usually sugary foods, things that are very concentrated, things that are made to give us this instant hit of dopamine and then almost crash later. So it's very easy to over consume those. Maybe for you, food is not the way you try to escape your life or overconsume. Other examples of ways that people commonly consume would be drinking, or smoking, or shopping, or Facebooking or overworking. People might try to overconsume with information. And that sometimes can have negative effects as well.

So again, some consumption may be good and healthy: you might listen to some inspiring podcasts, or listen to some instructive books. But if all you're doing is passively consuming information, the results in your life are still not going to be what you want them to be. If you're not doing that other part, which is creating over consuming tends to keep us stuck in the same place. So if you're noticing ways of trying to escape your life, that overall are having some negative effects, you're probably consuming more than you're creating something that commonly happens when we Feel that we're out of balance is that then we start to shame ourselves. So we know that we've eaten too much food, and that it's not going to feel good in our body, and it may increase our weight. And we didn't want that. So we start to shame ourselves, which actually triggers the reward center in our brain. And so shame can also have this almost addictive quality, because we're getting so much reinforcement from it.

I was trying to think of all the different forms of consuming, not just physically evident ones. And I thought of judgment. I think that judging other people is a form of consumption. There was a comedian I heard talking about the Olympics and how we all become these armchair experts of how people's form could have been a little bit better. Oh, I totally would have pointed my toes and Oh, I would have stuck that landing. But in reality, these people have put in hours and hours of blood and sweat and tears to get to this level of caliber, and they've created this thing that we're watching, and then passively consuming and judging, without any energy expended on our part. We can sit there and be critical without having to expend any energy. We've probably all sat in meetings where people are judgmental or critical of a problem and talk and talk and talk about how bad this is or what needs to change, but not really giving any solutions of how to change it. It's annoying, right? Judgy people are the worst (irony intended)!

One of the biggest examples I can think of right now is the overconsumption of TV and media information related to the Coronavirus. When our brain starts to perceive that we're in danger, we go into this fight or flight response where we're hyper focused and hyper vigilant and we want to be on the lookout for anything that could potentially cause us harm and protect ourselves from it. And definitely, people who are producing this kind of news for us around the clock know this and they actually make money, the more we are watching or the more we are clicking or the more we're obsessed with finding out what could potentially be happening. And so they're packaging this information to us in ways that are very compelling and seem very necessary.

And it's just like the people who are making berries into juice to make it more appealing to us to consume and we get more dopamine from it. We're actually getting rewarded in our brains for finding those reasons to be scared. I've talked to people and heard people coached, who really feel like the more they are educated on the statistics and how many people have died and the world count numbers, the more they are keeping themselves safe.

But I want to offer that when we are stressing our bodies out and our minds are in this fight or flight response, we're actually more susceptible to illness, more likely to tax ourselves excessively. And this has a greater impact on our health in a negative way. Our brains feel like it's really important and necessary to be checking these numbers obsessively, or to find out more information. Because the unknown is a very difficult place for our brain to be.

There was a study where people were playing a video game, and some of them would receive intermittent shocks, and some would receive shocks in predictable ways. And they knew that they were going to get shocked and the group that received the predictable shocks, even though they were still receiving shocks, had a lower level of stress than the people who had no idea when the shocks were coming.

And we're living in this uncertainty. But when we're in fight or flight, we have an increase in the stress hormone cortisol, which we know decreases immunity and increases inflammation. We're more susceptible to other unhealthy buffering behaviors, whether it's overeating or over drinking or other ways of escaping. We tend to buffer with the kinds of foods that are less healthy, and sugar decreases our immunity. We spend a lot of time filtering out the evidence subconsciously, but only looking for the things that reinforce our belief. And the worry, rather than looking for any evidence that might be to the contrary, we'll totally dismiss that. I think a lot of us tend to slip into judgment and shame of ourselves for what we're doing or not doing. We have all these other things to do but we find ourselves obsessively checking information that doesn't seem to be leading to anything but feels so necessary. And, of course, the judgment of other people. Other people are taking it too seriously or not taking it seriously enough. We're putting a lot of our effort into judging things that we have no control over, like other people. And this stress and anxiety feels so important.

But what I want to suggest is that we are fearing something that's in the future so much, that even though that negative consequence, the worst case scenario, hasn't happened yet, we're essentially living those same emotions right now as if it had. So we're sacrificing our present moment, any kind of peace or happiness in the present because of these thoughts were having about the future. So try to think about where you are right now. Do you have shelter? Do you have food? Do you have toilet paper for now? Don't go to that future place of what could happen, but look for, in the present circumstances, what you do have and what you can be grateful for.

This takes energy from your brain, it's a conscious choice of the way that you're thinking. So this is creating versus consuming. And I think that creating, although it does take more energy, is one of the best ways to get out of this cycle of fear and anxiety. I listened to a great podcast by Rachel Hart, who is another life coach who works with people who over drink. And she was talking about creating fun, versus consuming fun. And she said, most of us as adults expect that things should be fun. And if they aren't inherently fun, then we can take this substance that's very easy to consume, we can take a drink, and all of a sudden we feel a little more social or we feel like what we're doing that's mundane is a little more fun. And our brain gets used to expecting these things to be easy and fun. And it can be really hard to even imagine going to a social gathering without a drink because our brain has gotten so used to taking this easy way. Now creating fun does take more energy. But I want to offer that it's also more rewarding and doesn't have those negative effects that you get when you're just consuming.

Especially right now when people seem hyper focused, and wanting to consume information, having that creativity can actually help distract your brain from what's going on, and calm that fight or flight response, which ultimately is going to be better for your health. I've talked to many adults who don't know how to create fun—we've lost that skill. We have so many things that we should be doing, so many things that would be more productive if we did, and taking time for creativity almost seems indulgent, like we just don't have time to do it. But I think now more than ever is a time that we need to turn towards our own creative power. And start creating or producing things in the world. I've seen several funny memes or videos or songs that people have produced that have really helped a lot of other people laugh and smile or put things into perspective. And I think that is really necessary for our society as a whole right now. So think for yourself of ways that you could create. Now it doesn't have to be something that you're sharing with the world or trying to do to make the world a better place. I think that just the act of creating is going to make a world of difference, though, in your environment and the people who are around you.

Try to think of something that brings you joy. As adults, we usually have a really hard time doing this because we're thinking about the past or we're thinking about the future and not really thinking about what in the present we could do. I've heard people say it almost feels irresponsible to not be worrying about the past or not be concerned or fearful about the future and just knowing that taking time in the present moment is an option for you. You don't have to be worried. In fact, that's probably more counterproductive than it is helpful. As Dan Zadra said, “Worry is a misuse of the imagination.”

If you're having a hard time trying to identify what might bring you joy, or what you could create, maybe go back to the activities you did as a kid. Were you interested in writing or music or singing? Or dancing, moving your body, getting outside? Before you had the abilities to buffer and all of the weight of the world on your shoulders, what kinds of activities did you naturally gravitate to? Write a list of things that bring you joy. I wrote a list last year and things on it included making jewelry, fingernail polish, sitting in the sun, listening to good podcasts or audiobooks, yoga, dance, which you can do a lot of these things online right now—they're offered for free. There's a lot of live streaming. Hearing a child's laugh brings me joy. Having a clean room or a clean car brings me joy. So although the act of cleaning up my room might not be something that is inherently joyful and fun, it produces a result that does bring me joy. Consistency with achieving goals or accomplishing a new skill brings me joy. And watching funny movies brings me joy. And remember, joy is an emotion. So these circumstances are not just bringing me joy. It's my thoughts about the circumstances that create joyful feelings. So really, the joy originates from what I'm thinking about things or how I'm thinking about them.

There are other things on the list—some of them I cannot do right now because of social distancing. But this is a time we can get creative. We don't have to be victimized by the things we're not able to do. Remember, the feeling of victimization is also an emotion. So that comes from our thoughts. This is a time that many people have gotten creative. There are lots of resources available online that weren't available just last month. Many of us are finding ourselves with some extra time, these couple of weeks where all of the social things in the evenings and the sporting events have been canceled, and maybe even your work has been canceled and you’re home. So what about using this time to develop a new skill to become stronger? Maybe you can look back at this time in your life as the time you did stop drinking or smoking, or you changed your eating habits, you got into shape, you worked on yourself. Most people say, “Well, I just don't have time to work on myself or to read good books or to clean out the closet.” But what a gift right now! We just have to use this time consciously and not go into a consuming, stressful state, but start to expand our mind on how we can create. Think about ways that you could provide value to the world.

Some people are using this time to create their businesses or modify their businesses. And I would just say for your creation to be the most effective, you want to have an energy behind it. The feeling you want to be feeling is more a feeling of abundance than scarcity. So if you're feeling like everything is depending on you getting this business going, you're probably coming from a place of scarcity and the actions you take when you're coming from scarcity usually are not your best decisions. You're not your most creative, and you're coming from this place of neediness and then to others you come off as kind of creepy or desperate. So really notice the emotions you're having. When you're creating, are you putting a lot of pressure on yourself? Are you critical of yourself? Or are you creating with a sense of joy, and peace and calm? I'm not saying this is easy. Remember, I said at the beginning, your brain wants to avoid creating things because it does take more energy.

So be compassionate with yourself at this time. Start to notice what you're doing in your day-to-day life. Are you consuming things that have a negative effect? And how could you start to create more? If you're struggling with this topic or any other things that you would like coaching on right now, I'm doing some free coaching. To reach out to me for coaching or questions or comments, you can email me at info@bodyandmindlifecoach.com. My email will also be in the show notes.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And, of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know who wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #11- How to stay calm during COVID-19 Mar 17, 2020

I share facts about COVID -19, so we can "spread information, not the virus." I also talk about putting our thoughts and feelings into the model. If you need a refresher on the model, refer to episode 5.

(*Episode info based on what was known at the time)

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Episode #10 - The Manual Mar 09, 2020

In this episode we talk about the Manual- the unspoken rule book we have for people in our lives. When we realize we don't have to change people so we can feel better, we can let go of the expectations we have for them and improve our relationships.

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Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind—Episode 10–The Manual.

Hello, and welcome to Episode 10, where we're going to be talking about the manual, maybe a new topic for you, but hopefully one that you find very informative and an empowering way to look at the world and your relationships. So last week, we learned about relationships—that they are basically all in our head. Our relationships are the thoughts we think about other people.

In this episode, we're going to learn about how something called the manual affects all of the relationships in our lives, including our relationships with ourselves. Now you may be wondering why I'm taking these Life Coach School concepts and interspersing them with this podcast about mind, body and healing. How does learning about relationships affect our body or our pain or disease?

Remember how feelings like stress are created—all of our feelings are created from thoughts. So the neuronal activity in our brain causes the release of neurotransmitters or hormones, things like cortisol or dopamine, and these have physical effects on our body and cause physical changes. So one consequence of being in an overstressed state for too long is that the cells get overtaxed. As they replicate, they're not creating the quality of cells because they're being overused and the demand is so high. So this causes premature aging of the cells and the body. There are studies that show that hormones like cortisol cause inflammation in the body and a lot of diseases are linked to inflammation. In fact, the current treatment for inflammation is often anti inflammatories. We kind of have this band aid approach: We’ll just give you an anti inflammatory to fight the inflammation that's there. But when you look at people more holistically, and understand that the brain can cause those emotional or physiological changes, that's what is called psychosomatic when emotional or psychological factors affect the body physically.

I was first introduced to this term by my friend who is in DO school, becoming a Doctor of Osteopathy. And she told me that ulcerative colitis is a psychosomatic disorder, as are other autoimmune diseases. And I was kind of surprised because nowhere from the doctors or the medical care system that I had been treated by did I learn anything about it being psychosomatic related. So that's when I began reading The Divided Mind by John Sarno and began this journey of discovery.

In 2014, Juvonen and Graham did a study on bullying and they found that victimization led to emotional distress as well as health problems. Some of the common psychosomatic symptoms associated with victimization include headaches,

stomach aches, experiencing a higher frequency of illness such as colds and sore throats. So emotions like stress and victimization can lead to physical symptoms of inflammation and disease.

If you're having feelings of stress and victimization in regards to your relationships in your life, then chances are you have a manual for these people. So what is the manual? And how does it affect how we think and feel? Basically, the manual is this kind of rulebook that we have for people in our life. And it's all the ways that we expect them to act. So we could have a manual for our boss, that he should treat us nicely and give us days off when we ask. We may have a manual for our friend, which may include things that friends do or don't do, like calling certain times or not speaking certain ways about you. We have manuals in our minds about how good people should act or how good moms should act. But really, adults can act however they want. And this is sometimes a really difficult thing to let go of.

We talked about it last episode: When we are trying to get people to do things to make us feel better, that's actually considered emotional manipulation. So not only are we trying to manipulate someone to do something they don't want to do because of how we think it will make us feel, it also is a very disempowering thing to do because we're putting all of our feelings and our future in the hands of other people who can often not fulfill our needs exactly how we want them to. That's the manual.

And most of the time, we don't even tell other people what things are in our manual. So a lot of us want to say, “If my boss were different,” or “If my husband or wife just did these other things, then my life would be better.” We may have a manual like, “If my husband really cared about me, he would help with the kids without being asked.” And we don't even share that information with him. We have this expectation that he essentially read our mind and know how we need to be taken care of to feel a certain way, when the truth is, we take care of our own feelings by managing our own thoughts.

Have you ever really tried to get someone to do something they don't want to do? We start acting like a really crazy person. And have you ever been successful at it where you get someone to do something against their will, and how dissatisfying it is when they do it, but don't really want to be doing it. For example, if I wanted my husband to hold hands with me more, and I told him this, and I kept reminding him that I wanted him to hold hands with me more, but he didn't want to for whatever reason. So he does try to do it because I keep asking him to and he begrudgingly holds hands with me, it's not going to be nearly as satisfying as if he just wanted to do that on his own. In fact, I probably would not be satisfied, and that is what I would want him to do next, is to want to do it on his own. So we get really crazy trying to control other people when we think that that's how we need to act in order to get our needs met.

Here are some examples of statements that you might hear in someone's manual:

She should invite me when she has a party.

She should write me a thank you note.

Family should be supportive.

She should listen to me for as long as I listened to her.

He should not interrupt me.

He should tell me he loves me.

He should buy me something special on my birthday.

He should know what I like.

She should want to go to the movies I like.

He should make more money.

He should spend less time at work.

He should spend more time with the kids.

He should take the garbage out without having to be asked.

So these are just a few examples. Many of us have very thick, very intricate manuals. We probably don't even know all of the things that are written in our manuals. It's kind of like playing a board game with my kids, where the rules are constantly evolving. And there's this exception or that exception that I'd never heard of. It's like these house rules that just keep us continually dissatisfied.

The problem with the manual is we make it mean something if someone doesn't follow our manual, so if someone is late, it means that they are disrespecting me. Or if they are not complimenting the meal that I made in a genuine way without being prompted, then it means they don't appreciate the work I've done. Part of this is just how we're taught to view relationships. I know that I was definitely taught that when I was in a marriage, I would try to fill that other person's needs as much as possible. But in real life, it's hard enough for us to just take care of and satisfy our own needs without having to worry about filling someone else's needs as well.

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who's very needy, and wanting you to do a lot of things, and if you don't, making it mean stuff? It's exhausting! It's not fun. But if both people in the relationship realize that they're both responsible for meeting their own needs, then they can just meet in the middle and support each other and love each other and have fun.

I had a personal example once with someone who watched our kids and we had texted and said thank you and it was close by, so the kids just ran home when we got home. And we didn't realize until later, a few days later, that this person was very offended and basically felt taken advantage of because we didn't walk over and shake his hand and say thank you in person. Now, we definitely would have done that. Absolutely. It would have been no problem. We just didn't even have it on our radar or realize that it was in this person's manual to be expected to be thanked face to face and with a handshake.

So you may be wondering, does this mean that we never request anything from anyone? And just let people be who they are with no expectations? And my answer to that is you can absolutely make requests of people. So in making a request of someone realize, again, are you doing this to try to feel a certain way? Are you asking your husband to take out the garbage because it will show that he loves you, especially if he does it without being asked? Or are you just asking him and if he doesn't do it, you also don't make that mean anything personally about you, or judgmental about him? We should make requests that we are willing to do ourselves. So if he's not taking out the trash, and we're very angry and upset about it, maybe we could ask ourselves why we're not willing to do it in the first place.

When we put our emotions in the hands of other people, and make it depend on what they do or don't do for us, then they often won't fulfill the things we want them to do and the way we want them to do it. And so we set ourselves up for this negativity, and then we actually end up blaming the person for our feelings, and giving our emotional credit and our emotional life to someone else. So if you're feeling victimization, or if you're blaming someone in your life, that's a good clue to you that you have some kind of manual about this person.

Now, if you are a parent or a boss, you might have some expectations of your children or your employees. You may be confused, is this part of a manual or not? In fact, one time I heard a woman who was being coached, and she said, “You know, I'm just really torn because I have this nanny, and she keeps arriving late. I just need to not have this manual for her, and to stop feeling so resentful towards her for being late.” And the coach said, “Well, actually, as a boss, you can have those expectations of people. And you can have a rule that they not be late, and a consequence if they are late, but you don't make it mean anything personally about you.”

And that's the same with parenting. You wouldn't make it mean something. If your child doesn't clean their room, it doesn't mean they disrespect you or they don't love you. Them not cleaning their room might have a consequence. But it's not linked in any way to your worth or your value, or their love for you.

I coached someone once who had a manual that her children shouldn't fight. And this was a very painful thought to her because children do fight. And every time her children did fight, she made it mean that she was a bad mom. And the way she acted when her kids did fight was kind of crazy because she was trying to control them. When she realized she had this manual that her children should not fight, it was actually very freeing for her, because she could see examples in reality of how children fight—in her childhood and on TV. And all around, you see that, in reality, children fight and that there's no way she should make that tied to her self worth, or her value as a parent. Now, this doesn't have to mean that she allows her children to fight as much as possible, and she condones it and she never consequences it. It just means that she's no longer blaming herself, putting herself in a place of shame, and guilt and unworthiness about it.

Imagine what your life would be like without having any expectations of people to fill your needs for you. You could make requests if you wanted to, but there would be no strings attached. And if the person did not fulfill all of your requests, you would not make it mean anything. And you're not expecting the person to do that so you'll feel a certain way about them or about you. I love this quote: “Your response is your responsibility.” You would focus only on yourself and your own behaviors that you can control.

Wouldn't that be a great way to live, ideally? I think you'd be surprised at what people will do when you aren't trying to control them, when you allow this base where people are able to just feel like their true selves, and they feel safe, then you might see them actually starting to do some of those things that you've been nagging them to do more spontaneously. We’ll find that we are much calmer when we don't make people's actions mean something negative. You can try to understand the other person and why they do or do not behave in certain ways and really come to appreciate the relationship with them more and not try to control or manipulate them. We can hear them out, and we might understand why they do certain things rather than just pounding our fist over and over on our manual of how they should behave.

Back to the example about holding hands: If you are expecting that your husband hold hands with you as a sign of love, and that if he doesn't, it means, of course, he doesn't love you, and he's embarrassed to be seen with you. But say you try to understand from his perspective what's going on and you find out he doesn't like holding hands because his hands get very sweaty and clammy. And he's self conscious about that. When you know that love is a feeling and it comes from your own thoughts, and your relationship with him is just your thoughts about him, then you can stop expecting “him” to act certain ways in order for you to feel loved. The feeling of love actually comes from how you think about him. And maybe with this new information you've gained, you're kind of glad your husband isn't a hand holder.

If you have what you would describe as a difficult relationship with someone, you probably have a manual about that person—a pretty thick one. Consider maybe how you felt if someone has really wanted you to behave in a certain way against your will or what you haven't wanted to do. And you do comply. How do you feel? Usually we don't feel great if we're forced to do things. Think about, is that really the effect we want to have on other people? And the way we want other people to act, even if it's just for us and against their own will?

Now, how do we let go of the manuals we have? Of course, the first step is always just to notice. Notice those relationships that we have, where we have manuals, notice where things could be a little bit smoother, where we might be judging or having expectations or making things mean something about us. Are we wanting people to act a certain way so we can feel differently?

Here are some thoughts to think about, and I suggest writing down these questions and answers. If you find yourself with a situation where you think you might have a manual, what do you want the person to do differently? Write down all of the things, all of the ways your ideal husband would act, or if your boss just acted this way. What do you want them to do differently? And why? How would you feel about this person if they did all of those things? If you could wave a magic wand and they were the perfect boss, the perfect husband, the perfect wife. And they did all of those things perfectly for you. How would you feel? How would your thoughts about them change if they were this perfect version? Would you want them to behave this way, even if they didn't want to? What do you make it mean when they don't behave this way? And lastly, when someone wants you to behave in a certain way to make them feel good, what is it like for you?

So look around your life, look around your relationships, and see where you might have manuals for other people or for yourselves that are not working. Remember that if you're feeling feelings like judgment, victimization or blame, because of your manual, these types of things can affect your health as well. So it's worth it to start discovering where you have manuals and start taking your control and your power back.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And, of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know who wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode # 9- Relationships Mar 01, 2020

On this episode, we discuss the concept that relationships are the thoughts we have about people.

We explore the ideas that we can let people be who they are, and that they are just there for us to love.

Choosing love is always an option, and always the best option.

Learn how in this episode.

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Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind—Episode 9–Relationships.

Hello, today we are going to talk about relationships. So, this might be a new way of thinking about relationships for you. It was for me, definitely. A relationship you have with a person is basically the thoughts you think about that person. So relationships are kind of all in our head. If I think that I'm in a difficult relationship or a toxic relationship, or if I think my husband loves me or if I think he doesn't love me or if I think my boss doesn't respect me, all of those are just thoughts. They're sentences in your brain. They're not facts.

Here's an example to show how relationships are in our head. You might have one friend that you really love and adore and think is awesome. And other people might not feel that same way about her. She's the same person, whoever she is. But different people could have different thoughts about her, and therefore a different relationship with her.

People might have different thoughts about a relationship. This happened to me in college, actually. There was this guy who was flirting with me and I thought we might go out. We would talk on the phone. And after about a week, he told me that he got engaged. So yeah, my thoughts about this turning into a potential relationship were obviously different than what he was thinking.

I feel like I have have a relationship with mentors or influencers in my life. People like Brooke Castillo or other musicians that I really like, because of what I listened to from them. I feel like I know them or that I can relate to them. I love what they stand for maybe or feel like we're like minded. But I really don't even know who these people are. They're more like just a projection of my thoughts that I put on them.

Literally, your brain has its own system to interpret and make sense of the world and all the sensory input that it receives. It's like this filter that your brain has to process information. And the thoughts that are produced by the brain are also affected by your personal filter. I love this analogy from Byron Katie. In Loving What Is, she talks about our mind as a projector. If we have dirt on our lens, so like bad or insecure thoughts about ourselves, then everything we see will have dirt on it. So we look at all these people and see the things we want to change in them, the ways we want them to act differently, the things we want them to do or say, when really what we need to do is clean the dirt off our own lens.

I have three teenage boys right now. And it's fascinating to have them get into these long discussions verging on fights. They'll get so upset about the way that someone does something or says something. And it's obvious that they think it should be a different way. They should have said it differently. For example, one time they spent an hour arguing about a movie they saw and one of my sons said he really liked the movie, but there was this part about the childhood that he thought they should have explored more and spent more time on. Then the other one said, “Well, if you think they should have done it differently, how can you say that you really liked the movie?” And the younger one just likes to debate and kind of verbally spar. And the older one, I could just see him becoming more and more frustrated, he would not give up on trying to convince the younger one that he said it wrong.

Negativity often begins when we have expectations, and then we're upset when they're not met. And we use them as an excuse to feel bad. If we're already thinking negatively about ourselves, our brains will look for and see that negativity in others. And then we may feel that negativity ourselves in our emotions because we're blaming or judging or criticizing.

Remember, Joe Dispenza talks about how our cells can actually become addicted to certain hormones or neurotransmitters. So if your cells are used to a certain amount of cortisol, and they're feeling depleted, then you'll look around in the environment for things to make you angry. And you'll think thoughts about things or people or what they did or said, so that your cells get that hit of cortisol. As your cells get more and more used to it and they replicate, they grow more receptors for those higher demands of cortisol.

If we're not conscious, we can become more and more negative. This takes a toll on our body because the chronic stress on our cells can lead to break down and disease. As we know from the model, our thoughts create our feelings. Negative thoughts create negative emotions. So why are we choosing to feel disappointment or anger or frustration rather than love? What if we could get ourselves addicted to love? Love feels great. And in fact, love is always an option.

We don't have to expect people to behave in certain ways for us to be happy. Love is not an action. Love is a feeling, and since our feelings come from our thoughts, we are the ones in control of our feeling of love. What people do or say or how they treat us: that all goes in our circumstance line. It's a circumstance. It's a neutral fact. And we determine what we think about it. And that determines what we feel.

We don't get the feeling of love from other people or how they treat us. How crazy is that? I never realized that I thought love was out of my control. Either someone loved me or they didn't. And I would always just try to act in certain ways to get love. Because that's how I thought you did it. But we get the feelings of love from thoughts we think about people. Remember, love is always an option, so we can feel good whenever we want. Feeling love does feel better than those lower vibration emotions.

Why would we not choose to feel love towards someone if love feels amazing? Why are we denying ourselves that feeling? We get stuck thinking we can't love a person because of what they did, that they don't deserve it from us. But really, not feeling love is only hurting you. If you're feeling anger or resentment or disgust, you're really only hurting yourself. Now loving doesn't mean that you unconditionally approve of behavior. You might need to take action to protect yourself at times, or in order to get the results that you're wanting in your life.

We will talk about boundaries soon. Because there may be times that you need to limit your contact with someone. But you're basically never trying to get someone to act in a certain way. Once you allow adults to act however they want, which they're going to anyway, so allow isn't really an accurate word to use. But mentally, you're allowing them to act like they want without you making it mean something and then if you need to, you can choose to remove yourself from the situation. You may limit your contact with someone. But you're doing this in a clear, loving way, not a punishing or controlling way, like you're trying to manipulate that person into acting a certain way for you. Loving someone means when you think of that person, you just have feelings of love, because love feels better.

Knowing this is the secret to all relationships: your relationship with anyone else is determined by your thoughts about them, and you're the one in control of your thoughts. You can let other adults be exactly who they are. Let people forget, leave messes. They might lie or cheat or steal, they might too loudly. They might say things you think are mean. Or they might do things you think they shouldn't have done, but don't have expectations that they need to fulfill to make you happy. That is a feeling you create for yourself. In fact, that's your job to make yourself happy. What if you think about the people in your life and your relationships as them just being who they are and being there for you to love. You don't have any expectations that they have to be worthy of your love, that they have to do certain things or say certain things or act certain ways.

If you have a dog, imagine the love your dog has. That's a good example to me of unconditional love. My dog goes out of his mind when he sees me. He is turning in circles and wagging his tail and jumping all around. In fact, we need to get a trainer because he goes so crazy when he sees people—he's so excited. And it doesn't matter to him what we look like or if we've been paying him attention or not. Or if we've barely just petted him five minutes ago, but then we're walking through the room again. He just gets excited every single time.

What if you could allow your spouse to just be whoever he is. And you could show love for him because it feels good for you to do that. You could love him, and there's nothing he can do about it. I suggested this concept to someone once when we were talking about his marriage. He was saying how unfulfilled he felt because his wife didn't show these physical signs of love. He expected that she hold his hand back when he held her hand or kissed her back. And he said that he just needed these things in order for him to feel love from her. And I said, “What if she's just there for you to love?” And he got really angry with me and he said, “That makes me mad.” He did not believe that at all. And he definitely had resistance to this idea.

But the truth is, once you let people be who they are, and let go of the idea of trying to control them, then you realize how much energy you're just wasting trying to get others to behave in a certain way to make you happy. Focus on working on your own thoughts and feelings to make yourself happy. Those around you will appreciate it. There's nothing better than being with someone who just loves you. They're not always trying to make you a better version of yourself, or nagging you for one thing or another.

And you might find it interesting how you act. When you're just loving someone, you might actually do those dishes just because you want to, not because someone is trying to guilt you into it. When you're feeling loving, you'll probably act kinder to yourself and others. That's in the model too, right? Your feelings create your actions. So you're going to act usually in a more loving way. That's just one awesome side effect. That's why unconditional love is really the best gift you can give yourself.

No, feeling love doesn't mean that you have to act it out. You don't have to call up your husband's acts or tell your boss that you love them. You don't even have to change how you act towards them. You don't have to act it out or even act kindly towards them if you don't want to. But you get to feel that emotion inside of you and you get to own it. You have to know that you're in control of your own feelings and others are as well. The best relationships are when both people realize that and they come together to support each other because they want to.

Now I, of course, believe the stress that we create and the negative emotions that we can create from our perceptions of relationships can contribute to how our body is feeling and manifesting diseases or physical symptoms. And I want to tell you a personal example with me. So you've heard me talk a little bit about my ulcerative colitis. And as I began to think about the time in my life when I developed the symptoms and what was going on for me, I started to realize that I felt a huge component of it had to do with my relationship with my parents. Now, I think my parents were awesome. I think they were fantastic. They gave me so many opportunities. And I think they really did their best to give me a good foundation for teachings and a good life. But I also believe that in the course of human nature, there is a period of time that young adults tend to blame a lot of things on their parents, and often maybe even deflect a lot of their personal feelings towards their parents. And I kind of had this underlying belief from my childhood that my parents were never satisfied with me, they always expected more from me. And I really carried that into adulthood.

And I think it ultimately ended in this internal contention that I had and these physical symptoms. So the time that I began developing the symptoms, I had just had my fourth child in 5½ years, and I had been working just ten hours a week, but then I returned to full-time work, so we had a lot going on. And looking back, I was definitely putting a lot of pressure on myself. Now fast forward about ten years and I began this journey of starting to figure out the link between the mind and the body for myself. And with all of the coaching tools that I was learning from the Life Coach School, I started taking responsibility for my emotions and stopped blaming my parents and my upbringing and my culture for my feelings of unworthiness. Now, I still kept having some negative or uncomfortable feelings around my parents, feeling like they maybe were judging me. And so it was actually when I was doing some work from Byron Katie reading, Loving What Is. And she says if you have painful thoughts, it's because you're thinking something that's in contrast to reality. I realized that if I really looked at the evidence, my parents had done nothing but support me and tell me they were proud of me, and in other ways help me. So another thing I learned in theory, but it took some work to apply it to myself, was knowing that what I did, or my actions, were just circumstances in my parents’ circumstance line.

I'm not in their model, other than what I do is in their circumstance line, and then they choose how they think, or feel or act about that. And I had to also understand the fact that we are not supposed to be happy all the time. And there was a possibility that I had caused my parents some pain because of disappointments they might have, and that I did not have to take responsibility for that. That was their model. My actions were in their circumstance line, and then they chose what they thought about it. And people are not supposed to be happy all the time. There is sadness and there is disappointment in everyone's life, and that is part of life. I shouldn't beat myself up if I had caused my parents that. Another thought that helped me was this all happened the way it was supposed to happen. That's from Byron Katie as well. Everything that has happened, happened exactly how it was supposed to. How do you know? Because that's how it did happen. So they were the perfect parents. For me, I was the perfect daughter for them. I acted exactly as I was supposed to act. And all of these things happened exactly as they were supposed to. So nothing can be said or done about it. So no need to argue with the past or waste that mental energy.

So that's what led to my understanding that I was the one that was putting all of that pressure on myself, which is absolutely true. I've been doing that for years. And once I realized all of that, I began to unravel that for myself and share that information with my parents. That was a real key in helping me heal with my ulcerative colitis. And the last time I got a colonoscopy, they said I had no active disease. So, I really believe that physical and mental can be very connected. And it's our job, if our body is giving us these signals, to interpret them, and to try to figure out what it is that could be the deeper sign of what we might need to learn and what we might need to let go of.

If you are struggling with a relationship right now, I want you to ask yourself these questions and write them down without filter, as if no one is ever going to read them. Maybe tear them up if you have to later. But ask yourself some questions:

How do you want to feel about this person?

How do you want to feel right now?

Would it feel better to like this person or dislike this person?

Do you know that you have the option to love this person unconditionally, regardless of what they do or don't do?

What is stopping you from unconditionally loving for your own sake?

How could this person be teaching me about love?

And that's what I've got today for you on relationships. Now go love those people in your life for your own sake.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And, of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know who wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode # 8 - Perfectionism, People Pleasing, and Your Health Feb 23, 2020

In this episode, we talk about the health consequences that result from perfectionism and people pleasing.

You will learn how to fight the chronic stress that perfection and people pleasing cause, through developing Gratitude.

Follow Betsy on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

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If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Transcript:

This is Betsy Jensen, and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind—Episode 8–Perfectionism, People Pleasing, and Your Health.

Hello, welcome to Episode 8, where we're going to talk about perfectionism and people pleasing. Fun, huh? Perfectionism. Let's start by defining it. Perfectionism is holding yourself to a nearly impossible standard in everything you do. And people pleasing is having an intense desire to be well liked, often resulting in overextending yourself for others and putting your own needs last. These personality traits are very common. Most of us would identify as either a perfectionist, a people pleaser, or both.

Why are we like this?

Joe Dispenza says we can inherit certain behavioral traits in our DNA. So we may see examples in our family of perfectionism or people pleasing. Plus, we have a culture that rewards pushing yourself to achieve or to try to be well liked by people. Perfectionism and people pleasing are often developed in childhood as kind of survival mechanisms.

So a child may perceive the environment as chaotic and have the idea that being perfect would make sure you're not adding to anyone's stress or getting in the way. So with me, for example, I grew up in a very religious culture and interpreted that I always needed to be more perfect. I had a feeling of judgment towards myself and others and always felt like there was more that I should do.

Kids might also learn to people please. If there is a lot of conflict, they don't want to add to the conflict by being confrontive or saying no, so they do what they're asked. People pleasing is basically trying to get someone to feel a certain way or act a certain way because of how you act as an adult.

Perfectionism and people pleasing are still good traits in our society. If an employee is a perfectionist, holding himself to the highest possible standard, working hard and trying to outperform, that could be great for his boss or company. People also reward people pleasers—people who sacrifice and put their own needs last. What a noble thing to do, right? But at what cost? Today we're going to talk about how pushing ourselves relentlessly and putting our own needs last not only affects how we show up with others and the results in our lives, but also how perfectionism and people pleasing affect our health.

Okay, so let's talk a little more in depth about perfectionism. Many of us are taught to believe that happiness is this thing that's out there. And if we can just look a certain way, or have the latest things or do things just the right way, then we'll get that prize of happiness. But unfortunately, our brains often prevent this from happening. Because our brains adapt quickly.

If we have something that does make us happy, usually it does not take long before our brains adapt to that level of happiness. And it's no longer satisfying. Plus our brains have a negativity bias. So that means our brain is always kind of looking for something negative. When we do have happiness, we don't really enjoy it because we're always a little bit worried that we might lose it. It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Often perfectionists will try to achieve things. And even if they are successful at achieving, they might still be critical of themselves and think they could have achieved it quicker or a little bit better. Or they could have improved.

And what if a perfectionist fails? Most of us do not learn that if we fail, maybe it's because we set our expectations too high. No. What we make it mean is that there's something wrong with us and that we are not enough. No matter what we achieve, the perfectionist has a way of always thinking things could have been better.

This is why low self esteem often goes along with perfectionism and people pleasing. An LDS psychologist in an article I read said that perfectionism is the damaging belief that one's worth is inherently attached to always doing better, or being their absolute best.

So let's look at the idea of perfectionism in the model. So let's take a circumstance like getting second place in a dance competition. The thought is, you're not good enough, the feeling, unworthiness.

When you feel unworthy, what do you do? If you have a normal brain, then what you'll do is look around for more evidence of how you're unworthy and surely you could find some examples from your past. So your action could be thinking about your past to prove that you're not worthy. There could also be more of an inaction. Some people who feel unworthy would just want to hide or maybe buffer to try to escape their life, like eating or drinking or buying something or getting on social media. We could maybe convince ourselves not to try again. We definitely, if we're feeling unworthy, wouldn't want to be practicing or trying to improve from that place of unworthiness. We would more want to hide or not try, because there's no point.

Another normal thing that our brain does when it's feeling unworthy is to criticize harshly. We are usually our own worst critics. So shaming ourselves, we know, does trigger the reward centers of our brain. So there must be some evolutionary benefit to having shame and harshness and criticism. I think many of us believe that it's helpful to us, but when we really look at it, we can see that shaming ourselves and being critical to ourselves actually does the opposite, and does not help us with achieving our goals. So in the result line of this model, your brain proves the thought that you're unworthy by looking for evidence to prove it, and you prove your unworthiness by not practicing or not showing up the ways you want to. It's like you sometimes will fail ahead of time, making sure that you fail by not trying or not practicing or not working on things. And then you prove your brain right. The brain of a perfectionist is always in this state of urgency, intention. The demands they're putting on themselves exceed what they could ever possibly perform. So chronic stress is almost inevitable.

Chronic stress on the body is one of the main contributors to disease and pain. Feelings of anxiety release stress hormones that increase your heart rate and send your nervous system into the fight or flight mode. So this is supposed to be something that your body uses for short-term situations. So if you were being chased by a tiger, it would be important to move all of that blood to your extremities, not worry about your digestion, increase your heart rate, increase your breathing rate— fight or flight. But many of us are living in a state of chronic stress, a state of constant unworthiness and never feeling like we're enough.

Joe Dispenza says our cells become addicted to the adrenaline that the stress provides. So our brain will seek out examples of stress if we're feeling a little depleted. And there are always examples to be found in our environment. So the feedback loop continues. But these cells that are constantly in a state of arousal begin to break down. Often when we're in chronic stress, we're not sleeping well. And without that restful sleep, the cells can't repair or regenerate. There's been links with the hormone cortisol, which is part of the stress response as well, that has been shown to increase inflammation. And when the same neural networks are activated over and over, it's just like a road that has a lot of increased traffic. The cells begin to suffer overuse, and with more demand, the cells are produced more quickly and more cheaply. And this is what causes aging to our cells and ultimately, to our bodies.

Proteins are the key to anti aging. Skin, muscle, bone, and hair cells are all made of proteins. So the more overused the proteins, the less effective they are at their job.

When disease or pain occurs, perfectionists are more likely to try to take a pill and just push on with their high drive and push for success and needing to succeed. They can sometimes drive themselves to the point of complete exhaustion or illness.

If you look at the emotions related to perfectionism, with David Hawkins’ map of consciousness, you'll see that the vibrations of shame, fear, worry, desire and greed are all below 200. Meaning these emotions that perfectionists tend to feel primarily are destructive. Their vibrational energy that's low means that you'll seek to draw energy from other people around you, or from yourself and your own body in the form of disease or illness. When perfectionists have pain or disease, they tend to have feelings of anxiety that amplify the pain.

At the same time, when stressed, the body's less able to access the natural pain-relieving chemicals that the body produces; things like feeling joy, relaxing, spontaneity, acceptance of the present moment, and gratitude are emotions that naturally cause the brain to release chemicals that inhibit pain. But these emotions are particularly hard for perfectionists to feel.

So it's no wonder that perfectionism is linked to chronic pain. Many of us think that if we're not constantly pushing ourselves or expecting more, then we'll end up not accomplishing anything. Our brains like to go to the worst-case scenario when we think about changing beliefs. If I'm not relentlessly harsh on myself, then I'll just be sitting on the couch eating potato chips the rest of my life. I'll just be lazy and I'll never achieve anything. Really, do we have to go to the extreme opposite?

Remember, in the model of perfectionism, the result is not satisfaction with achievements. If anything, the feeling of unworthiness and stress from unmet expectation is more likely to result in us buffering or trying to escape our life. That would be more likely when we would try to sit on the couch and eat potato chips—when we're feeling unworthy. But if we know that we're inherently 100% worthy, that no matter what we accomplish in this life, or don't, we're still 100% worthy of love, just by being a human. And then if we can come from a loving place, we actually are more likely to want to set goals to make an impact, to make a change, because we're coming from this 100% place of worthiness. It becomes more fun.

Why not see what I can accomplish from this place of abundance because I know that I can help people and I can do things I'm passionate about? And that's when you can really create results. So being hard on yourself and demanding perfection is never helpful to your emotional or physical health. Think if you have any tendencies towards perfectionism, and question whether holding yourself to this unachievable standard serves you.

A couple of strategies that I've learned from the Life Coach School regarding perfectionism, is to get okay with producing B- work. So this was a really hard one for me. In fact, I did not even realize that until a couple of months ago, when someone corrected me, I'd heard this term and I always called it B+ work. My brain just naturally was like B-, I don't think so. But I'm okay with the B+ work maybe. But at this point, I think I'm okay with B- work, because I'd much rather produce things and have them out there and take the risk and be vulnerable than to stew in my perfectionism and never produce anything. Because it's never going to be perfect. When I have that mindset, I'm so much more productive because I don't think things have to be perfect before I can produce them. But believe me, it still feels vulnerable.

The other thing, though, that I think has really helped me with perfectionism is to practice making decisions. So, we are often faced with lots of decisions, and it's something that I never felt like I was good at or that I could do. I practice the thought that there are no wrong decisions. I give myself a certain amount of time, and then I make the decision. And I don't look back. This helps me get out of feeling stuck in perfectionism, where I feel that place of overwhelm and confusion.

Now on to people pleasing. What is people pleasing and how does it affect our health? Not only am I a recovering perfectionist, but I'm still kind of working on people pleasing as well. I definitely grew up as a people pleaser. And it was just within the last few years that I realized that it's something that I even can change, and that I want to change. Because really, it's not doing me any good in my life. Do you think you might be a people pleaser? Here are some examples of people pleasing from Curable:

You avoid conflict at all costs.

You would rather pretend to agree with someone then cause contention.

You're very uncomfortable with the thought of someone not liking you. Even if you don't like that person.

You're afraid of letting people down or disappointing them.

You take on more than you can handle because you have a hard time saying no. You're very attentive to the feelings and emotions of those around you, but don't draw attention to or acknowledge your own feelings.

I know that I've been people pleasing when I find myself thinking that people should act a certain way or treat me a certain way because of what I've done for them. Many of these people pleasing behaviors are developed in childhood and stay unexamined. But people pleasing is really not a nice thing. It's a form of manipulation. So, for example, if you say that you'll bake cookies for the school, even though you don't really want to, but you want people to think that you're a good mom or a good person, so you agree to do it, but then you end up feeling resentful, and angry, and maybe you even blame other people, but it's really your own fault. You could have said no, or you could have asked how else you could contribute. Maybe you'd be happy to buy cookies, instead of making them, but as a people pleaser, you would just agree to do it and then suffer the negative feelings yourself later.

Whenever we do something to try to get people to think about us a certain way, there are two major problems. The first one is we cannot control other people. Very literally, you might have a little bit of influence with your own children. But other adult humans are going to act how they're going to act. And we really cannot control them. In fact, trying to control other people is one of the greatest sources of negativity. The second problem with people pleasing is that even if people do like the fake version of you that you're acting like, then they aren't really even liking the real you. It sounds so logical, pointing it out like that. And I swear I've seen it on TV and movies a million times where someone acts like a person that they're not in order to get people to like them. And then they realize they have to be this phony version of themselves, and it's unsustainable. They can't keep up the facade.

Like people pleasing, the inability to say no leads to stress. Research is now discovering the relationship of traits like people pleasing and chronic pain. And especially people pleasing seems to be linked to mysterious ailments where no physical explanations can be found. Think about what your body could be trying to signal to you with mysterious pain. Remember, you can use pain as a message from your body to check in and clean up your thinking.

Dr. John Sarno explains in The Divided Mind about a concept called TMS, tension myositis syndrome. He says that perfectionists and people pleasers who he calls “goodests,” basically people who have a high conscience and want to do good and want to be perceived as doing good. So people who are perfectionists and people pleasers are more susceptible to suppression of unconscious feelings and for manifestations of pain.

Remember, when we talk about unconscious feelings, 95% of our 60,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day are subconscious. They're just programs that our brain runs automatically without us having to think. Some of our subconscious thoughts are in the form of rage that wouldn't be acceptable for us to express in society. And that's why we repress them.

This rage comes from basically our inner child. If you think about a child that's inside of us, this timeless part of us in our subconscious, that wants to be treated as such: wants to be taken care of, and wants love and doesn't want to have responsibility or to have to follow rules. When we have feelings like this from our inner child, and the potential of rage, our subconscious mind acts to control some of these negative feelings so that they aren't expressed by distracting the brain. And it does this by sending less blood flow to certain areas of the body so that it causes pain.

So here's a real life example, you could feel resentful of the loss of freedom and sleep that you have when you have a new baby. The subconscious brain knows that acting on these thoughts would be unacceptable. Of course you love your new baby. So the brain creates a diversion to keep you from realizing these thoughts consciously. The brain sends less blood flow to an area of bone or muscle or joint or nerve, resulting in pain. Preferably, it's one where there might be some corresponding structural damage, or a site of an old injury, having less blood flow, and this creation of pain distracts from these potentially dangerous emotions, by keeping you focused on relieving the pain.

One sign you have TMS is that when your pain is relieved in one area, shortly afterwards you develop a new pain or symptom in another area. He calls this the symptom imperative. I saw this a lot in physical therapy, where someone would come in after having a shoulder surgery on one side. And after they recovered a few months later they were back for their other shoulder or for their back pain or for the knee pain that just started. We were basically chasing the pain or fighting the pain.

Dr. Sarno tells about thousands of cases of people who have had their symptoms resolved just by realizing and identifying with these perfectionistic or people pleasing tendencies and telling their brain not to continue to create the diversion, basically telling their brain they know what it's doing. And that all that pain is just from mild oxygen deprivation. And by confronting the brain about it. And this pattern, it's almost like a Pavlovian response that the brain has to react to create this pain. And it can be reversed with time and practice.

So what do you notice in yourself with these disruptions? Do you identify with perfectionism or people pleasing, or both? The first step as always, is just to acknowledge it. Observe it, like Eckhart totally would say, become the watcher of your brain. You don't want to be judgmental. This is just to watch and observe. Question your beliefs. See if the result in your life and your relationships is what you want them to be.

Now, what is an emotion that we can practice that has shown health benefits? It's gratitude. In eleven-thousand different studies, they've shown that developing a grateful mindset improves not only mood and sense of well being, but also health in the form of decreased heart attacks and strokes. Just as we can look for examples of imperfections around us and find them, we can also look for things that bring us joy, and things we have gratitude for. We can train our brains to look for and find examples of things that bring us joy or make us happy. By going off autopilot and retraining our brain, we can find joy in the present moment. And we can have the ability to focus on the happiness that's already there.

I challenge you to write down three things that you are grateful for each day. Or make a list of things that bring you joy, and try to incorporate as many of these in your life as you can.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me. Please be sure and subscribe and leave a review. And, of course, be sure and share this podcast with someone you know who wants an unstoppable body and mind.

Episode #7- Self Care is Not Selfish, and Other Common Myths Feb 10, 2020

You owe it to yourself and to those around you to practice self care.

This episode will tell you all about how to practice self care for your whole self. And bust the common myths of self care:

1-Self Care is selfish

2-Self Care has to cost money

3-I don't have time for Self Care

4-Self Care has to look a certain way

5-Self Care means doing nothing

Follow Betsy on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Episode # 6- How to Get the Results You Want Jan 26, 2020

In this episode you will learn to use the Model to get the results you want.

We go through a model with the result of sleeping through the night as an example.

Plus three brain-hack strategies to help make behavior change more successful and rewarding.

Follow Betsy on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

*Free Nervous System Modules- 4 free videos explaining the nervous system, how it affects your health, and how to regulate it https://view.flodesk.com/pages/620ffa96e0eda1a0d870b5a6

*Curable App- 6 Weeks Free with this code http://www.curable.com/betsyjensen

If you like this podcast, please give it a five star rating and review on Itunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unstoppable-body-and-minds-podcast/id1493360543

Podcast #5- The Model- How to Solve Any Problem Jan 20, 2020

Learn the Model and apply it to any problem in your life.

Circumstances, Thoughts, Feelings, Actions, Results

We will take some real life examples including a model on neck pain.