Unblock Your BS

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**Unblock Your BS**

Are you sick of the BS holding you back? “Unblock Your BS” is your no-nonsense guide to healing, self-awareness, and reclaiming your power. Hosted by Coach Tara, a certified somatic release breathwork practitioner and self awareness coach, this podcast dives deep into the belief systems (and, let’s be real, the bullshit) that keep us stuck.

Each episode explores topics like self-love, emotional intelligence, healing from anxiety and depression, breaking free from toxic cycles, the root causes of our own people pleasing and self abandonment in relationships, and finding your authentic voice. Whether you’re navigating a breakup or divorce, recovering from burnout, or just looking for tools to live a more aligned life, this podcast is your space to unblock your potential.

It’s time to rewrite your story, take radical ownership of your life, and join the self-aware army. Let’s break through the BS together!

Latest Episodes:

Why "Happy Wife, Happy Life" Is Wrecking Your Marriage Jul 29, 2026

Show notes

The relationship advice you've heard your whole life might actually be keeping you stuck.

"Happy wife, happy life."

"Never go to bed angry."

"Learn to compromise."

Most of us were handed these ideas long before we ever understood relationships. They sound loving. They sound wise. But what if they're quietly creating resentment, self-abandonment, scorekeeping, and emotional distance instead?

In this episode, Tara sits down with relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner to unpack some of the biggest myths couples still believe and what actually creates lasting connection.

They explore why emotional safety isn't built through people-pleasing, why accountability is much more than saying "I'm sorry," and how collaboration creates healthier relationships than compromise ever could.

Whether you're rebuilding your marriage, navigating conflict, or simply trying to become a healthier partner, this conversation offers a completely different lens on what strong relationships actually require.

In this episode:

Why compromise often creates resentment instead of connection
The problem with "Happy Wife, Happy Life"
What accountability actually looks like in a healthy relationship
How consistency builds emotional safety
Why happiness isn't your partner's responsibility
The difference between collaboration and compromise
Why "Never Go to Bed Angry" isn't always good advice
Practical ways to communicate needs without blame or self-abandonment

About Monica Tanner

Monica Tanner is a relationship and intimacy coach certified in Relational Life Therapy and Sex Therapy. She's passionate about helping couples create stronger emotional and physical intimacy by challenging outdated relationship advice and replacing it with practical, collaborative skills that actually work in modern relationships.

She is the author of Bad Marriage Advice and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast.

Connect with Monica

Website:https://monicatanner.com
Book:https://badmarriageadvice.com
Instagram:https://instagram.com/monitalksmarriage
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@secretsofhappilyeverafter

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

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Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

Connect with Tara:

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Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

The Truth About Forgiveness Nobody Talks About Jul 22, 2026

Show notes

How long are you going to keep punishing yourself for it? You hurt someone, or someone hurt you, and you're still carrying it, still replaying it, still waiting to feel like you've finally paid enough. If that's you, this one's worth your time.

In this week's episode, Tara goes deep on forgiveness, the kind people get completely wrong.

Not letting someone off the hook, not pretending it didn't hurt, but choosing to stop carrying the weight so the suffering finally gets an end date. Whether you're the one who caused the hurt or the one who got hurt, it starts in the same place: forgiving yourself first.

In this episode:

Why forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing
The hidden cost of staying stuck in resentment
Why shame isn't accountability
How to forgive yourself after hurting someone
How to forgive someone without giving them unlimited access
The difference between trust and blind trust
Small ways to rebuild integrity after betrayal
Why nervous system regulation matters more than apologies
How to stop letting painful memories dictate your future relationships

You don't earn your way out of shame by sitting in it. You choose your way out.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

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Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

Connect with Tara:

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How Childhood Trauma Destroyed His Marriage Jul 15, 2026

Show notes

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes conversations about suicide, suicidal ideation, depression, pornography addiction, childhood trauma, emotional abuse, and divorce. Please listen at your own pace. If these topics feel overwhelming right now, it's okay to come back to this episode when you're ready.

You can spend years just getting through life, providing, showing up, going through the motions, while inside you don't feel much of anything at all. No real highs, no real lows, just a numbness you've stopped questioning. If that hits a little too close, this one's for you.

One of our Healthy Men-tality alumni, "Joey," shares his whole story here, from being abandoned as a kid and never having anything explained to him, through a 20-year marriage that ended, all the way to the lowest point of his life and what came after. About six months into doing this work, he went from completely shut down to genuinely loving himself for the first time. His kids have noticed the change. He's playing music again. And the way he tells it will probably land for a lot of people listening.

In this episode:

How decades of numbness trace back to childhood wounds and the coping mechanisms built to survive them
Why healing the inner child was the thing that unlocked everything for him
How getting curious about your own feelings becomes the engine of the work
Doing the work for yourself first, and why everyone around you benefits from that
Giving yourself grace and taking full accountability at the same time
How one regulated person can shift an entire co-parenting dynamic

If you've been numb for longer than you'd like to admit, give this one a listen.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

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Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

Connect with Tara:

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Can You Really Trust Again After Betrayal? Jul 08, 2026

Show notes

You almost lost the whole thing. And now, somehow, it's good again. Better than it's ever been, even. So why can't you actually enjoy it? Why does part of you keep waiting for the floor to drop out?

In this week's coaching episode, "Steve" reached out to Tara while he was in the middle of filing for divorce after an affair.

Months later, the divorce is off the table and he and his wife are more connected than they've ever been, but he doesn't quite trust it, and he came on to get coached through what real repair actually looks like.

In this episode:

Why the honeymoon phase after a near-breakup can be a band-aid, not proof you're healed
The question that matters more than "can I trust her": can you trust yourself to show up regardless of how she shows up
How to tell when a surface argument is really about a deeper need, and what to do instead of just reacting
Why you set the terms for conflict before the fight, not in the middle of it
Grieving the old relationship so you can build a new one instead of repeating the same cycle

If you're trying to rebuild something after it nearly fell apart, this one's for you.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

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Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

Connect with Tara:

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What Happens When Only One Partner Does the Work Jul 01, 2026

Show notes

You've been doing the work. So why does she still have her guard up like nothing's changed?

In this episode, Tara sits down with Coleman, one of the coaches inside Healthy Men-tality, and her own personal nervous system coach. Because he primarily supports women and Tara primarily supports men, the two of them get to see both sides of what happens inside a relationship when nervous systems start to heal.

The heart of this conversation is what happens when one partner is doing the work and the other isn't there yet. When a man starts to regulate and grow, his partner's nervous system often still doesn't trust it, because her body is wired to respond to the old version of him. Coleman and Tara get into why that gap exists and what actually helps close it, plus the practical skills underneath all of it.

Inside this episode, they get into:

What it really means when one partner does the nervous system work and the other isn't there yet
Why softness is a form of strength for men, not weakness
Parts work and shadow work explained simply, and how protective parts quietly run the show
The difference between co-regulation and codependency
How to set boundaries before conflict starts instead of in the middle of a trigger
Capacity, what it is, and why so many men are running on almost none
How your nervous system shapes what you perceive as reality
What shifts for a woman when her man finally has the capacity to hold space instead of jumping in to fix

When both people build a relationship with their own nervous system, that's when the old cycles finally start to change. If you've got someone in your life who'd benefit from hearing this, share it with them.

Connect with Coleman:

Find Coleman on TikTok and Instagram @coleheartedwellness
"Safe in My Body, Safe with Myself" program: https://stan.store/ColeHeartedWellness

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

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Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Tara:

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You Didn't Lose Your Marriage. You Lost Yourself First. Jun 24, 2026

Show notes

You thought you were loving your family. But what if you were slowly abandoning yourself?

In today's episode, Tara reads a post from one of the men inside Healthy Men-tality, shared word-for-word, about what doing the work actually looks like in real time. The ups, the downs, and the slow peeling back of the patterns underneath his behavior.

He writes about self-sacrificing his own needs for years, keeping the peace at any cost, and slowly becoming someone he didn't recognize. A man who did everything he thought a good husband and father was supposed to do, and lost himself in the process, until his wife saying she was done finally woke him up. From there, Tara unpacks what was happening beneath all of it and what it actually takes to come back to yourself.

Inside this episode, we get into:

How self-abandonment hides behind being a good provider and protector
Why men slide into codependency and people-pleasing without realizing it
Covert contracts, doing things for your partner while quietly expecting something back
What it means to perform love instead of giving it freely
How emotional safety starts within you
The role nervous system regulation plays in healthy relationships
Why you can't give others a sense of safety and worth you haven't built in yourself first
The "healthy man blueprint," choosing who you want to be on purpose
How to keep your role and value as a man without losing yourself in the relationship

This is the story of a man finding his way back to himself, and the kind of awareness that changes how you show up for everyone around you. If any of it sounded familiar, that's the work, and it's worth doing.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

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Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Tara:

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How a Man Can Be Successful and Still Have a Personal Life That's Falling Apart Jun 17, 2026

Show notes

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes open discussion of suicide and self-harm. If you're in a hard place right now, it's completely okay to skip this one and come back when you're ready, or pick a different episode. If you do listen, go gentle with yourself and take breaks if you need them.

"Tom" came into the Healthy Men-tality program looking, from the outside, like a man who had it all figured out. Successful career, two decades of marriage, the kind of life that checks every box. Underneath it, his marriage was falling apart, he was living out of a suitcase in a different country every couple of months, and he was running on a survival pattern he'd built as a kid. Be the strong one. Protect everyone. Never let it show.

A few weeks into the program, the weight of all of it caught up with him and he hit his lowest point. What happened after is a big part of why he's on this episode. Not because everything is fixed now, the separation conversations are still happening, but because of how differently he's able to move through it.

Inside this conversation, we get into:

How men get conditioned to be "the strong one" and what it quietly costs them
Why living in survival mode and gripping for control keeps you disconnected from your own life
The line running from childhood trauma to attachment styles to the patterns you keep repeating as an adult
What detachment actually means, and why it doesn't mean you've stopped caring
Breaking generational cycles instead of handing them down to your kids
Forgiving yourself without using shame to do it
What shifts when you stop walking on eggshells and start regulating your nervous system

Healing is a long game. You catch the pattern, name what's happening in your body, and choose something different than what you were handed.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Tara:

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"I Thought Providing Was Love" Jun 10, 2026

Show notes

Most men don't lose their relationship overnight.

It happens slowly.

Long work hours. Emotional avoidance. Constant stress. Feeling like roommates instead of partners. One person asking for connection while the other thinks, "I'm doing all of this for us… why isn't it enough?"

In this episode, Marcus opens up about the collapse of his six-year relationship, discovering his partner was emotionally involved with someone else, and the spiral of shame, grief, panic, and self-blame that followed.

But this conversation goes deeper than cheating or heartbreak.

We unpack how childhood trauma, nervous system survival responses, overworking, emotional shutdown, conflict avoidance, and people-pleasing quietly shape adult relationships… especially for men who were never taught emotional regulation in the first place.

Inside this episode:

Why overworking is often emotional avoidance in disguise
The difference between guilt and shame
Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses in relationships
Why some people move on quickly after relationships end
How childhood abandonment wounds show up in adult intimacy
Why many men outsource their self-worth to being chosen
What emotional safety actually looks like in a relationship
The hidden cost of living in survival mode for years
How nervous system work and breathwork help process grief and emotional overwhelm

This one is raw. Honest. Messy. Human.

And if you've ever thought: "I know better… but I still keep reacting the same way."

You'll probably see yourself somewhere in this conversation.

If you're ready to stop living in survival mode and learn how to lead yourself differently in relationships, you can learn more about Healthy Men-tality here: JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

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Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Tara:

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The "Good Guy" Trap That Quietly Destroys Relationships Jun 03, 2026

Show notes

What happens when a man spends years trying to earn love by abandoning himself?

In this episode, I sit down with Healthy Men-tality member Carlos for an honest conversation about nervous system regulation, shame, people-pleasing, emotional burnout, marriage struggles, and learning how to stop losing yourself inside relationships.

Carlos shares what led him to the program after his wife hit a breaking point in their marriage, including isolation, depression, emotional shutdown, loss of identity, and feeling completely overwhelmed after moving his family internationally.

Together, we unpack:

Why people-pleasing eventually creates resentment
The hidden relationship between shame and self-abandonment
What emotional leadership actually looks like
Why nervous system regulation changes parenting
The difference between guilt and shame
How men lose themselves trying to "earn" love
Why so many men struggle to advocate for their needs
The danger of stopping the work once things start feeling good

One of the biggest themes throughout this episode: You cannot create emotional safety while abandoning yourself.

There's also a powerful section around the "good guy" identity and how many men quietly judge themselves so harshly internally that they become trapped in performance, approval-seeking, and fear of disappointing others.

And honestly… if you're a dad, the parenting conversation alone is worth listening to.

Carlos shares how nervous system work changed the way he responds to chaos with his kids.. moving from overwhelm and snapping into playfulness, patience, and connection.

If you're trying to rebuild yourself, your confidence, your emotional stability, or your relationship, this episode will hit home.

If you wanna know more about the Healthy Men-tality Program, you can join my FREE TRAINING HERE

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Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Tara:

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The "Nice Guy" Pattern That Pushes Love Away May 27, 2026

Show notes

Most men were never taught how to stay present when emotions get big.

So when conflict happens in a relationship… they either shut down, try to fix it, disappear emotionally, or explode. Then comes the shame spiral.

"I'm failing." "I'm broken." "I can't do this right."

In this episode, Dave Lishansky and I unpack what's actually happening underneath those reactions, and why so many "nice guys" are really just men stuck in nervous system survival patterns.

We talk about emotional safety, boundaries, self-abandonment, attachment dynamics, men's groups, breathwork, and why relationships eventually force us to confront the parts of ourselves we've spent years avoiding.

Inside this episode:

Why many men go silent during conflict
What emotional safety actually means
The hidden cost of people-pleasing and self-abandonment
Why slowing down changes everything during hard conversations
The difference between healthy masculine leadership and performance
Why relationships become mirrors for our unresolved wounds
How community and men's work help men regulate and heal
What happens when one partner grows… and the other refuses to

One of my favorite moments in this conversation was Dave talking about armor… how so many men walk through life emotionally armored because it never felt safe not to. And how relationships eventually ask you to put some of that armor down if you want real intimacy.

If you're a man trying to rebuild trust, regulate your emotions, communicate better, or stop repeating the same relationship cycles… this episode is for you.

This is the work we do inside the Healthy Men-tality Program: real tools, real support, real change. If you wanna know more, you can join my FREE TRAINING HERE

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Learn more about Dave's work here: https://www.davelishansky.com/podcast

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Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Tara:

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