You’re so brave she said… when I shared with the clerk in the store that I had a home birth.
How interesting that we can still see birth as something that has to be monitored, scheduled, and managed, as a disease instead of a natural event that our bodies know how to work with.
And I’m not surprised.
When my hubby said that we will do a home birth when someone asked us I thought he was crazy.
That it’s not safe.
So I started to do my research as the right 5/1 generator.
And actually found out that home birth in USA is so much safer than hospital.
I went on a rabbit hole of books, classes and all I could put my hands on to learn about natural birth to bring our baby girl here safely and healthily.
Yet no amount of studying could possibly prepare me for the powerful 12-hour experience before I held our baby for the first time.
When I got my first surges (aka contractions in more positive way said in Hypnobirthing world) I told it’s just a trial run so I went from bed to bathroom back and forth.
And then after timing the surges and seeing that they come each 10-8 mins I realized we’re not only on trial run this is happening.
So when my hubby woke up around 3am to go to the bathroom I told him we are having surges last two hours and to help me fill up the bath to get some relief.
We lit up some candles but honestly I was so deep in the experience trying to breath through each surge that was coming more and more often.
So around 3:30 am we called our amazing doula Heidi and when she heard me and times of my surges she said she is in her way with birthing pool too.
She arrived before 4:30 am and I was so thankful to have her.
She calmed me down, massaged me and reassured me I can do this.
Not to even mention my husband Christopher who didn’t move from my side, didn’t eat for those 12 hrs, was feeding me dates and peanut butter and was giving me coconut water.
When Heidi prepped the pool I went in feeling a little bit relief but wondering how much longer this can last 😬
Then Heidi called in a couple of hours our midwife and my hubby called our friend Pavlina, who is also professional photographer.
In my mind I was preparing for smooth, gentle birth.
What I got was intense rebirth for myself, where my old self died in powerful way.
I was moaning, raw, wild, uncensored part of me was released.
Our midwife arrived around 8:30 am and I was so happy to see her in hopes we are almost done.
But around 10:30 - 11am I entered in a space called transition.
Where I wanted to give up, when I thought I can’t do this any longer and telling my husband if he wants more kids to forget it and have them on his own and birth them 😳
I was in this space when I didn’t want to keep going and was doubting myself for almost two hours.
And then it shifted..
I shifted.
I started to talk to our baby girl.
Telling her to come to us.
Telling her I’m ready for her.
All my doubts if I can or can’t be really a mother went aside and I deeply believe I can.
I deeply desired to hold our baby in my arms.
And then with each intense surge I let go of philosophy of Hypnobirthing of not pushing and just breathing baby out into pushing.
Into giving it my all.
I could feel the baby but she wasn’t coming out fully yet.
I was told they can see her head but I couldn’t her through that point.
So we were changing positions to make sure the baby is moving down.
I even felt by hand her head which keep motivating me to keep going.
In hypnobirthing they teach us not to push and to just breathe baby down, yet it came to a point that I had to push to help her move through.
I am so thankful for our doula, midwife and mainly my husband who helped me believe I can keep going and do this.
After what felt like forever our baby girl start moving more and more out and in one moment Tiffanie, our midwife reach down and got her out and on my chest.
I couldn’t believe she is here.
I couldn’t believe I am done.
First thing I asked was if she is ok, which our midwife confirmed. She checked her while on my chest and we both looked at each other with Chris, my husband in tears.
She is here.
I couldn’t see her face to Tiffanie held her in front of me and I burst into tears.
I saw my grandmother in her face.
When her cord stopped pulsing my husband cut it as I was bleeding more than our midwife wanted to see so I had to birth the placenta.
In the meantime my husband was sitting with our baby girl skin to skin.
when I got from the birthing pool into bed with the help of doula and midwife and got cleaned up, our baby girl was put on my chest to breastfeed.
I couldn’t believe that I can feed another human to life.
What a miracle!
My birth story is positive and beautiful.
My birth empowered me to know if I can do this I can do anything!
Even though it wasn’t couple of hours of gentle birthing, but 12 hours intense experience, now looking into my daughters eyes… it was so worth it.
Whatever your birth experience was, or will be, know it is perfect for you and your baby and your baby chose to come that way.
As our Sophia Marie did with her home water intense birth.
P.S. P.S. Reviews are like a virtual hug and you know I LOVE hugs! It would mean a world to me if you could please write me an honest review so more women can find this show 🤗 Thank you so much for your love and support!! Link to review is below: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-abundant/id1458932675
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