U Up?

Comedy
**U Up?**

U Up? is the definitive modern dating podcast presented by Betches co-founder Jordana Abraham and comedian Jared Freid, where they discuss their take on the ebbs and flows of the crazy dating world we live in. From interpreting dating app interactions and weird sexual encounters, to defining the relationship and everything in between – they’re here to make sure you don’t die alone. For more fun dating commentary, polls, and bonus content, follow @u.up.podcast on Instagram. Become a friend (with benefits) of the podcast and subscribe to receive early release and ad-free versions of all our new episodes, plus bonus subscriber-only episodes. To sign up and become a friend (with benefits) today head to: subscribe.betches.com

Watch U Up? on YouTube: http://youtube.com/betches

Latest Episodes:

Love, Limerence, And Cop Outs ft. Olivia O’Brien Jun 02, 2024

Show notes

J&J are joined by Olivia O’Brien ahead of the release for her upcoming EP, “Love and Limerence,” but before they get started, Jordana and Olivia fill Jared in on what limerence means. Then, Olivia shares the struggles with being vulnerable in her songwriting and dating other public figures, and Jared can relate for why he’s cautious with the real experiences he puts into his work. Plus Olivia shocks J&J with the aftermath of her song with gnash, “i hate u, i love u,” blowing up on the charts in 2016, they talk double standards of women being vulnerable, the difference in LA and NYC social scenes, and why Gen Z might be more open to casual relationships. The episode ends with answering a listener’s email about being on the hook and not knowing whether she should just walk away before she gets hurt. She’s been happily seeing someone for two months, but he’s now up for a job that would take him overseas indefinitely. They have yet to DTR, but she’s certain she doesn’t want to juggle a long-distance situation. Jared, Jordana and Olivia weigh in.

For more from our guest, listen to “Love and Limerence” by Olivia O’Brien (@oliviaobrien) on June 21.

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They Always Come Back For The Wrong Reasons May 29, 2024

Show notes

The pod is buzzing this week, and we’re starting with Jordana’s NBA experience seeing the Knicks play (and lose) Game 7 against the Pacers reminding her of a relationship falling apart and Jared’s fired-up morning after a workout. After catching up, they jump into an email from a listener reeling over getting stood up. She had an online relationship with a man in another state for 8 years, but when the stars aligned and she found herself in his area, he blocked her. Is she wrong for wishing he would’ve communicated he didn’t want to meet anymore, or does he not owe her anything because they’d never physically met? Next, we get another “Friends To Lovers” submission from a Canadian man about a woman he met in a workout class. Afterward, a military man asks how to navigate dating when his career’s constant moves have been the subject of several breakups. The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker” about white lies, jorts on a plane, and a special update from a fan-favorite milk debate from our 2020 episodes.

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Should I Tone Down My Personality To Attract More Dates? ft. Emma Willmann May 26, 2024

Show notes

This week’s Sunday Special delves into boundaries, appropriateness, and perception, but first, J&J are catching up with Emma Willmann (@emmawillmann). The conversation from Emma’s last time on the pod gets a quick update with where it continued with a sex therapist on Emma’s podcast, Ask Men Anything. Then, Jared needs the insight of women he knows for his latest TikTok finds. Next, a male listener thinks his personality is to blame for his lack of dating life. He’s friendly and chatty, but the consensus of his friend group is that these characteristics could be “gay-coded,” so is the solution to become closed off? The episode ends with a “Petty or Prudent?” about a breakup reaction after our listener comes out to her boyfriend as queer, but it’s not the reaction to her sexuality that she’s concerned about. Jared, Jordana and Emma add some extra layers of perspective she may be looking past.

Listen to our last episode with Emma, "Was This A Red Flag Or Is My Internalized Homophobia Showing?" from February 21.

Listen to Emma's follow-up conversation on Ask Men Anything, "Asking Dr. Justin Lehmiller Anything" from February 27.

https://youtu.be/AMPqjOcuAg8

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The Curse Of The Cool Girl May 22, 2024

Show notes

This week, J&J are finding the balance in a few debates, from ideal thermostat temps to awkward callouts. The first email asks if there’s a limit to how much an ex is brought up during a date. Jared and Jordana don’t initially agree and weigh both sides of the conversation. Next, in a segment sponsored by Netflix, they get a “Friends-To-Lovers” story submission that's out to motivate other listeners to make a move. The second advice email is looking for the line between going for what you want and seeing what the person you’re dating is willing to do. There could be truth to “If he wanted to, he would,” but doesn’t that go both ways? The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker” about being overly communicative, being put in an awkward situation pre-date, and disagreeing about the best sex you’ve ever had.

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Why Being Mad About A Wasted Relationship Isn’t Helping You May 19, 2024

Show notes

J&J are jumping right into this week’s Sunday Special, kicking off with an “Icky or Picky?” about a delayed Hinge response. Our listener’s match explained that he took so long to get back to her because he only likes to focus on one match at a time, but she can’t decide if it’s unfair of her to be put off or if that was indeed too much too soon. Then, they get an email from a listener struggling to forgive herself for giving her ex a second chance despite problematic circumstances. J&J discuss who she's really mad at and what needs to change so she can move on in peace.

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A Friends-To-Lovers Story Gone Wrong May 15, 2024

Show notes

We’re talking guilty pleasure shows, that time Jared almost experienced death by pizza bite, and wedding planning ahead of jumping into the episode. Our first email comes from a listener dreading an upcoming wedding knowing they’ll be single, without a plus one, and only know two other guests on an acquaintance level. Then, we receive a “Friends-To-Lovers” story submission in a segment sponsored by Netflix, and this one takes a turn. The second advice email comes from a gay listener in his late 30s looking for long-term love and frequently finding short-term romance. He’s been quick to cut things off once he realized he and his dates weren’t looking for the same thing, but is he missing out on great experiences by doing so? The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker” about sleep farts, childhood homes, and splitting the check.

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My Husband's Ex Is Being Petty. Can I Be Pettier? May 12, 2024

Show notes

This episode is all about communication and honesty, but it’s not addressed in the usual way. First, Jordana fondly remembers her go-to first date question that she’s no longer allowed to ask. It may have ruffled feathers and ruined a friend’s date, but it gave her all she needed to know to engage with someone early on. Then, J&J play a round of “Petty or Prudent?” about a listener’s reaction to her husband’s ex. Our listener was fine with a filmmaker ex keeping in touch with her husband until his ex made a film about “the ups and downs of ‘young love’” based on their former relationship. She confronted her about the film and, when the ex claimed it was more about love in general, she asked for tickets. Her friends are egging her on to attend, but would that be petty? Next, we hear from a 35-year-old woman struggling with the men she’s meeting on the apps. She finds them all so…boring. She asks J&J a series of questions to adjust her approach (i.e. Should she lessen her expectations? Are these incompatibilities a deal breaker?), but they feel like she’s sidestepping an obvious factor in her problem.

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Can I Turn My Friend-To-Lover Back Into A Friend? May 08, 2024

Show notes

Something’s comiiinnnnggggg – before we dive into the first email, Jared and Jordana have an announcement (spoiler: it has to do with Fra)! Then, the first email comes from a 32-year-old listener in LA with a common issue. She’s going on dates and they’re fine, but she doesn’t really care to push further. Where’s the lapse in connection, and is it safe to assume it must be coming from her end? J&J start at the crux of her dating issues and, like many of us, it has to do with an old situationship. The Awkward Encounter drove one listener to commit to cutting off her ex for good. Next, we get into our first “Friends to Lovers” submission in a new segment sponsored by Netflix. In anticipation of Bridgerton season 3, listeners are filling us in on how their own “friends to lovers” scenarios played out. The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about voice messages, forgetting a first date, and date-crashing friends.

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Why The “When You Know, You Know” Spark Might Be Missing ft. Matthew Hussey May 05, 2024

Show notes

This Sunday Special, we’re taking notes from a professional! J&J are joined by Matthew Hussey (@thematthewhussey), a life coach and best-selling author with nearly 20 years of work elevating lives and relationships. We start with what Matthew came to terms with in the modern dating climate as his career evolved, then J&J get him to delve into how his own love life developed over time and the long-distance relationship that led him to say "I do" last year. His wife Audrey enters the chat to give her POV about their early stages and the surprising text she sent that drove him to make a decision. Plus, he answers listener questions sent in from Instagram, talks about raising your standards, and the importance of communication.

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Could A 'Certified Lover Boy' Ever Commit? May 01, 2024

Show notes

Is it petty or prudent to use your life experiences with others in your life’s work? What if you’re one of the biggest pop stars in the world? Before dissecting listener emails, J&J dish first thoughts on Taylor Swift’s new album, “The Tortured Poets Department.” The first email comes from a listener disputing her latest breakup after her ex questioned whether they truly had long-term compatibility. To her, you have to invest in a relationship first in order to build compatibility, so she leaves it up to J&J to chime in and decide. The Awkward Encounter gave us all the ick. Then, the next email is from a listener who can’t decide if she should follow her heart or the advice of her loved ones. She’s seeing a friend of a famous rapper who flies her out and makes her feel special, but her family disapproves and wants her to come down from cloud nine. Is there a chance for something real to blossom with a lifestyle like his? The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about picky eaters, invasive date questions, and threatening to break up after an argument.

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