Try This At Home

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#40 - Parenting Tips and Tricks from the Trenches Oct 30, 2019

Show notes

In the final episode of 2019, Leslie and Leslyn wrap up their parenting series by sharing a crowd sourced collection of parenting tips and tricks. They reached out to their social media following and asked the question “what’s the best parenting advice you’ve ever received?” and share many of the comments that were offered.

Leslie and Leslyn comment on the collected ideas if they have personal experience with it and add their own from a combined 45 years of parenting experience.

Additionally they review many of the lessons they’ve learned along the way as new podcasters and speak a bit about the possibilities they’re considering for the 2020 season. Listen all the way through to hear a great offer! They’re giving away the collection of resource material from this first season!

#39 - Effective Discipline; Tips & Tricks Oct 23, 2019

Show notes

Leslie and Leslyn have been talking about parenting and no such discussion would be complete without a few words about disciplining! Leslie begin by pointing out that no one thing will work with all children; a fact that frustrates parents to breaking points.

A discussion about consequences begins with the point behind behavior modification - the goal of discipline. Is there a difference between girls and boys? How do you find that ‘thing’ that will make an impact and foster desirable behavior. When your ‘go to’ method fails to work, what do you do? When you are too tired to follow through, how are you to be taken seriously?

Leslie and Leslyn share personal stories and antidotes to combat discipline challenges that will get you thinking about alternate ways to get your point across. If nothing else, they’ll remind you that you’re not alone and isolated in your feelings of frustration and ineffectiveness.

#38 Raising Responsible Kids in an Era of Entitlement Oct 16, 2019

Show notes

This episode focuses on raising children who don’t express a sense of entitlement. Much of the focus is about raising kids with an understanding of financial responsibility in a time where advertising and social media tickles our need for instant gratification. Leslie and Leslyn break down many of the challenges that exist in our current culture from the entry into a cashless society, the impact of social media, and the ‘disposable’ mentality that permeates young minds.

The conversation is yet another great dissection with personal examples and ideas to solve problems created by ideas of entitlement. Entitlement doesn’t come from getting what you want… it comes from not having any concept what it takes to get what you want.

Leslie and Leslyn use personal stories to share how they’ve handled the challenges of raising children in modern times. They talk about what worked and what didn’t as they offer suggestions from what they learned. Ultimately, they leave the listener with some introspective ideas about entitlement and eliminating it as a possibility in the lives of your own family.

#37 Dealing with Parenting Guilt Oct 09, 2019

Show notes

Leslie and Leslyn spend this episode talking about all the ways that we - as parents - make mistakes. First of all… we don’t know what we don’t know. Secondly, most of us simply do the best we know to do and learn along the way, and lastly… even when we think we have it figured out, a kid comes along that doesn’t follow any of the rules!

This episode challenges those ideas we thought were great and helps us find peace with the ideas that weren’t as much. They share successes and failures in hopes that the listener will find comfort in the universality and commonalities impacting most parents today.

The ladies share honest thoughts about their own parenting and ideas about how to learn from the mistakes we all make. They indicate that it’s simply human to make mistakes and that when we are imperfect parents, we teach our children real lessons about the world.

From losing our children in a crowd, forgetting about the tooth fairy, and all the in-between lapse in judgments or skill sets, this is an open and honest conversation between two moms who opt to learn from the experiences. You’ll laugh and reflect in meaningful ways!

#36 Fear Based Parenting Oct 02, 2019

Show notes

As time goes by, the number of things that parents seem to be worried about seems to be growing exponentially. Is the world really more dangerous or are we simply more aware of life’s dangers? Did Helicopter parenting rise out of our culture or has our culture risen from fearful parents?

Leslie and Leslyn talk about different styles of parenting through fear from Helicopter parenting to Defensive parenting. They explain that many of these dysfunctional parenting tendencies stem from our own childhoods and/or the fear that we individually hold. Ultimately, we are passing our fears from one generation to the next when we stifle childhood experiences because we are afraid.

Dismantling obstacles and eliminating risk are specifically hazardous to the long term welfare of our children. Even though parents think they are helping, in reality they are preventing children from learning extremely important problem solving life skills. The development of resilience is necessary for emotional stability in adulthood.

Another problematic parenting style is focused on steering a child in a direction motivated by the parent instead of the desires and dreams of the child. Some parents tend to attempt and fulfill personal broken or faded dreams through their children; living vicariously per se. When we push our children in a direction that is inauthentic to them - as individuals - we are setting both generations up for dysfunctional patterns.

With personal examples, antidotes, and solutions… Leslie and Leslyn help you think about how your own fears are guiding your parenting decisions.

#35 Getting Mixed Messages? Sep 25, 2019

Show notes

This week Leslie and Leslyn are spouting off about the mixed messages and double standards that we are constantly exposed to on a daily basis. They come from everywhere and we probably have a few ourselves.

It’s interesting to think that some of the gender related messages that we think have been squashed are alive and well in the hearts of some people. They tend to be exposed at embarrassing or inconvenient moments. Even when people don’t intend to convey a sexist remark, the embedded ‘mixed message’ that infiltrates our way of thinking is exposed.

They comment on cultural differences that many of us remain blinded toward even when we consider ourselves accepting of diversity. They speak about the need for all of us to pay attention to the biases that exist from our personal experiences and expose the contradictions that we live by. They share that by eliminating the concepts of right and wrong, we can develop more acceptance.

Our biases continue into our personal lives in ways that we may not be aware of. As usual, Leslie and Leslyn challenge our way of thinking and implore us to be conscious of how what we think impacts our external behavior - particularly in terms of mixed messages and double standards.

#34 Understanding the Ego Sep 18, 2019

Show notes

Most people have negative connotations when it comes to thinking about the ego but it’s an important part of our personality. Leslyn runs through the Freudian elements of the Id, the Ego, and the Superego to help us understand the tenets of personality from an academic perspective. From instinct, to consciousness, and then morality, the ego parts help us socially exist in the world. However, it can go very wrong.

This discussion focuses on the consciousness elements of the ego - that part of ourselves that most of us consider the ‘self’. The ego helps with confidence, self-assurance, and positive self-image. When we feel inferior, it is indicative of an underdeveloped ego.

They spend a little time talking about narcissism which, is a great example of someone with an overdeveloped ego. People with an over inflated sense of self can appear kind and selfless superficially. Yet, there is frequently a required tit-for-tat that surfaces as the overinflated ego seeks to maintain its superiority.

Likewise, an underdeveloped ego might be a ‘door-mat’. People who have a weak ego will often not try new things or appear selfless in an unhealthy way.

The ego is your ‘image’ self - not necessarily your most authentic self. It’s the part of yourself that wants to be liked and have power. It lives in fear of not having those things. An unhealthy ego is built on core beliefs that are steeped in fear. Consequently, it is constantly driving behavior to mitigate the fear.

As usual, they use personal examples to demonstrate the key points of the discussion and offer suggestions on how to develop more healthy ego components.

#33 Creating and Keeping Emotional Intimacy Sep 11, 2019

Show notes

Emotional intimacy is that connection you share with someone close in spirit; it’s the feeling part of a relationship that allows you to feel safe. The relationships that allow you to be the most authentic; to be you without judgment or criticism.

Emotional intimacy can be difficult in intimate and/or romantic relationship. Yet, it’s the single most important feature of a sustainable relationship. It needs to be nurtured and readily available.

In the challenges of our day to day life, we tend to divide and conquer so much that we neglect engaging with our partners in a way to support continued emotional intimacy. We may expect that our partner ‘accept’ a different priority while we work and raise children but the consequence is that we distance ourselves.

Leslie and Leslyn share strategies to engage in your partner’s life so that emotional intimacy can be sustained no matter the differences between you. They give detailed suggestions to help build and restore that connection that is so necessary to maintain a strong bond.

The Try This At Home for the week is to print out the tip sheet on the website and sit down with your partner or engage in the suggested activities.

#32 Facing Fear Sep 04, 2019

Show notes

We are all hardwired to feel fear. It’s part of our survival instinct and while most of us consider it from a physical perspective, it applies to our emotions as well. When we don’t feel emotionally safe, we create defense mechanisms that protect us. Anxiety, control issues, and many negative emotions are rooted in fear.

Leslie and Leslyn spend this discussion sharing stories and antidotes about feeling fear, digging into the roots, and offering strategies on how to overcome them. Generally, when we are afraid of losing something, having less of something, or never having something… our fear response activates a behavior. With a little introspection and self honesty, we can better understand ourselves and in turn, communicate with those we love and care about, more effectively.

Leslyn’s recommendation to ‘lean into fear’ is discussed and clarified in an effort to help people engage more honestly. Their usual banter and storytelling offers good ideas and clarity for anyone challenged by worry, stress, or fear.

#31 Motivation Insight; How to get going Aug 28, 2019

Show notes

Today we’re talking about motivation in a follow up to last week’s conversation about habits. An inability to get motivated isn’t always about depression, it’s often a sign of priority or desire. It’s very difficult to find motivation for something that is misaligned from our own value. Additionally, it’s challenging when we can’t find a path to the end goal and we are stuck. Sometimes, our brains shut down because we simply run out of emotional gas and the lack of motivation is a signal that we need to stop and engage in self care to recharge.

Leslie and Leslyn offer suggestions and tips for those times when motivation wanes, regardless of the root. It starts with what you value. Self awareness is necessary to understand the core value that is in conflict with the behavior you need motivation for.

With their natural banter and quirky stories, Leslie and Leslyn offer perspective on motivation and how to get things done!

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