Trashy Royals - Hemlock Creatives

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94. Elizabeth Bathory, The Blood Countess (Or Maybe Not) Jan 09, 2025

Show notes

Legend has it that at the turn of the 17th century, in a small corner of the then-Kingdom of Hungary, a noblewoman preyed on her peasant tenants, torturing and murdering them for her own sadistic pleasure high up in her castle in the Little Carpathian Mountains. Countess Elizabeth Bathory (Erzsebet Bathori, or Alzbeta Batoriova, in Hungarian and Slovakian, respectively) has been described as history's most prolific female serial killer - her death toll was said to be as high as 650 - until she was finally stopped on the order of the King of Hungary.

But the story is more complicated than the tale that's been passed down. The daughter of an extremely powerful and wealthy family, Elizabeth and her husband had loaned the crown significant sums to keep it afloat during a long war with the Ottoman Empire. She herself was a Calvinist in a time when Lutherans were agitating for greater authority in post-Reformation Europe, and one Lutheran minister in particular seems to have been diligent in spreading rumors of Elizabeth's bad conduct. After Elizabeth became a widow - thus a rich and powerful independent noblewoman who was owed a large sum of money from the King - the rumors intensified significantly. Is this because Elizabeth's murder spree picked up steam, or because, for reasons ranging from sexism and sectarianism to simple power politics and repayment avoidance, it was convenient to destroy Countess Bathory's reputation for all of history?

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93. More Bizarre Royal Deaths | Viking Sigurd the Mighty, Qin Shi Huangdi of China, Bela I of Hungary, Martin I of Aragon, George II of England, Philip the Fair's Unhappy Afterlife Dec 26, 2024

Show notes

It turns out that Royals have been enjoying (?) bizarre deaths a lot more often than we first realized! Among this set's methods of departure from the world: getting a little too cozy with your enemy's severed head, life-extension mercury (don't try this at home!), poorly constructed furniture, laughter, constipation, and, in a bit of a twist, a story about the arguable desecration of Philip the Fair's corpse by his too-loving widow.

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92. Bizarre Royal Deaths | Alexander I of Greece, Roman Emperor Valerian, Herod the Great, Henry I of England, and Adolf Frederick of Sweden Dec 19, 2024

Show notes

Like the rest of us, the world's royals are mere mortals who meet our universal fate in the end. But for some, that end came about in unusual ways - infected simian bites, the ingestion of liquid gold, genital maggots, a surfeit of lampreys, and the sweetest, perhaps: death by pastry.

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Introducing Swiftory! Dec 13, 2024

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New from Hemlock Creatives: Swiftory, a not-so-typical Taylor Swift podcast, perfect for any Swiftie, literature lover, or history buff.

Hosts Alicia and Melissa explore Taylor Swift’s music as a jumping off point into a wider world of fascinating figures and iconic literature. Join us as we romp through Taylor’s stories, visiting the places, personalities, and – of course – the eras, that her songs evoke.

Coming 12/31/2024, wherever you listen to podcasts. Subscribe here on Spotify, or on Apple Podcasts.

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91. Princess Michael of Kent, Part Three: Say Less, Way More Often Dec 12, 2024

Show notes

And in the concluding episode of the (ongoing) story of Princess Michael of Kent, we watch aghast as the Anglican and Catholic churches battle over the pending nuptials of Prince Michael and his sweet Marie-Christine, and then Alicia tries (and seems to largely fail) to explain to Stacie why British law and custom required Prince Michael of Kent to marry Princess Michael of Kent, and not Baroness Marie-Christine. Seems like Prince Michael's cousin Queen Elizabeth II could have done him - and his fiance - a solid here with some alternative title, but I guess not.

Then, we again watch aghast as Princess Michael of Kent unloads on the deceased Princess Diana (and the then-Prince of Wales, by proxy) and lobs some racist displays in the general direction of Meghan Markle. Why? It's just a matter of tradition, apparently. Yikes, this one is trashy.

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90. Princess Michael of Kent, Part Two: The Road to Royalty Dec 05, 2024

Show notes

This week we continue our journey into the life and times of Princess Michael of Kent. In this middle episode of her arc, we explore her teenage years, her first marriage and subsequent divorce, and her romance with Prince Michael of Kent. This love affair is assisted by a familiar character, Lord Louis Mountbatten, who manages with charm and royal politics to attain the Queen's permission.

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89. Princess Michael of Kent, Part One: Papa Will Nazi See You Now Nov 28, 2024

Show notes

We begin our exploration of the UK's surprisingly controversial Princess Michael of Kent with a little back story. And given that Princess Michael of Kent started life in January 1945 as a German baroness named Marie-Christine von Reibnitz, you can bet the Nazis had a hand in it!

The daughter of Baron Gunther von Reibnitz, a Nazi Party member who spent time at the Russian front during the war, Princess Michael's mother, Austro-Hungarian Countess Maria Anna, was stridently anti-Nazi, enough that it got her in trouble. Her father's allegiance to the party was pretty loose by the time the war came around, and he was eventually kicked out of the Nazi party entirely. This was helpful when he was later investigated by the Appeals Tribunal for Upper Bavaria after the war ended.

Meanwhile, Gunther's somewhat impromptu wartime marriage to Princess Michael's mother turned out to be a bigamist marriage, since old Gunther had never had his first marriage annulled in the Catholic Church, which declared Princess Michael and her older brother legitimate, but essentially ended things between Gunther and Maria Anna. He skipped out on the whole "wreckage of Europe" thing and moved to Mozambique and a third marriage there.

This left Countess Maria Anna in the post-war wreckage of Europe with two very young children. She did what aristocrats always do: she packed up a bunch of gemstones - Europe was flooded with gemstones from out of luck rich folks at the time - boarded a boat for Australia, and set her family up in their next chapter by selling the stones into a much more favorable market.

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88. James I of England | More Money, More Problems Nov 21, 2024

Show notes

We return this week to the Stuart Dynasty, and King James VI of Scotland, coming on in as King James I of England. His reign begins in 1603 and runs through 1625, you might be surprised what you can pack into 22 years to trashy administrating, but James makes the most of it.

Included: Rewriting of The Bible, Witch Hunting, More Pamphlets, Gunpowder Plots, and Jimmy's Maybe Lovers, with a little treason and murder on the side too. The Howard Family resurrects themselves and spiderwebs are everywhere!

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87. James VI in Scotland | Sitting, Waiting, Wishing Nov 14, 2024

Show notes

In this exciting installment of our past selves bringing you current episodes, we continue with the thread of the Trashy Stuarts. It is time to explore the life of James VI from his birth to the age of 39 when he assumes the English Throne in 1603. Oh my – so many things before he even assumes the throne in England after the death of Elizabeth. James is dealing with dead parents, mad -lunatic and angry uncles, and a child bride, Anne of Denmark. Feuds with countries and religions. Kids, and witches, and pamphlets too.

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86. Witch Hunting with King James VI (A Trashy Divorces Crossover Bonus) Nov 09, 2024

Show notes

In this week's double Trashy Royals, past-us brings an episode out of the Trashy Divorces side of the world, as it really does all connect in history.

It is back to April 2021 when we took a trip into the late 16th Century to do some witch hunting with King James VI of Scotland, long before he makes it to England as James I. His new hobby is no way a valid pursuit of anything worthwhile - just a king's manic fevered dream which is pretty terrible for the old, poor, or single women of both Scotland and England.

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