Trashy Royals - Hemlock Creatives

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Introducing The Glamorous Gabors! Mar 12, 2025

Show notes

The Gabor sisters were some of the most iconic cultural figures in the second half of the 20th century, having arrived on our shores from Nazi-occupied Hungary, where they experienced loss and engaged in heroic resistance. Along with their mother, Jolie, sisters Eva, Zsa Zsa, and Magda, stormed the mid-century zeitgeist and lived through extremely complicated family dynamics, as well as complicated romantic entanglements - including, between them all - 23 marriages, 18 divorces, two widowhoods, and two annulments. They were allies and rivals, poly-linguists, artisans, and entrepreneurs. But mostly, they were women possessed of a drive to succeed and an eternal willingness to bend their stories to suit the moment at hand.

This month, Trashy Divorces is proud to present the lives and loves of The Glamorous Gabors, an eight-episode arc bringing these four amazing women into focus in the 21st century. Listen online or wherever you get your podcasts!

The Glamorous Gabors was researched and written by Melanie Shawn, with our deep gratitude.

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103. Queen Cynethryth of Mercia Mar 06, 2025

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Just in time for Women's History Month here in the US, Alicia has a story as old as time - an 8th century Queen of the central English kingdom of Mercia during the Anglo-Saxon period who maybe was the victim of a smear campaign centuries later. Obviously, contemporaneous records of the period are sparse, but what we do think we know is that Queen Cynethryth and her husband King Offa had a contentious relationship with the Archbishop of Canterbury in that period. Mercia confiscated some of the Archbishop's lands, and the Archbishop supported an uprising that saw Kent liberate itself from King Offa's rule. Things went far enough south between them that Offa eventually created an entirely new Archdiocese in Lichfield that would presumably be a bit more compliant with his wishes.

And while Offa and Cynethryth would outlive that Archbishop of Canterbury, it seems that the Church would have the final say over Cynethryth's story. Coincidentally, that portrayal became extremely negative right around the time, centuries later, that Empress Matilda was attempting to exert her righteous claim to the English throne after the death of her father, King Henry I.

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102. Nero, ft. Agrippina the Younger (Encore) Feb 27, 2025

Show notes

We're on break this week, so we're delving into Trashy Royals history (see what we did there!) with an encore of one of our earliest episodes, Roman Emperor Nero. While things started out relatively well when he took the reins from Claudius at just age 16, his attention and priorities quickly spiraled to pointless things and private grievance. As one does.

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101. Trashy Tabloids | "The Fantabulous Imam of Yemen," Ahmad bin Yahya Feb 20, 2025

Show notes

Back in 1959, a writer named Samson Rebaldi gave an autocrat and despot a real glow-up in the pages of Confidential, a gossip rag of the era. Yemen's second-to-last hereditary ruler, Ahmad bin Yahya - known as "Ahmad the devil" within Yemen - was in Rome at the time, receiving medical treatment for a variety of ailments, and Rebaldi delighted in the news that he had traveled with his multiple wives, dozens of concubines, and maintained a stable of "slave girls" back at home. In Rome, Rebaldi says that doctors limited the ailing dictator to six female visitors a day, though Yahya's age, health problems, and various drug addictions may have made these visits less exciting that Rebaldi believed.

Yahya died in his sleep three years after the piece was published, at the age of 71, and was briefly succeeded by his son, Muhammad al-Badr. The Badr reign came to an end after just a week, when disaffected soldiers launched a coup and declared Yemen a Republic. It is, very tragically, still working on that.

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100. SIX The Musical! Feb 13, 2025

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Last summer, Alicia was finally able to catch SIX The Musical on Broadway, and last weekend, Stacie got to see the US Tour version. A pop spectacular featuring the wives of Henry VIII, the play's back story is every bit as cool and fun as the show itself is. In this episode, we talk SIX The Musical, and we pull a Patreon Royal-Tea Time episode from August where Alicia got into what it's all about.

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99. Chatsworth and The Duchesses of Devonshire Feb 06, 2025

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This week, join us for a journey 500 years in the making! Off to Derbyshire we go to spend some time at Chatsworth, the ancestral home of the Cavendish family and the Dukes and Duchesses of Devonshire through time.

There were many women who claimed the Duchess title, and a few who did not. We explore them all - from Bess of Hardwick, the lady who begins it all, to Georgiana Spencer and Deborah Mitford, the ones who did attain the title, as well as the ones who did not, including Lady Caroline Lamb, Adele Astaire, and Kick Kennedy.

Mary Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire (1646–1710), wife of the first duke
Rachel Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire (1674 – 1725), wife of the second duke
Catherine Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire (1700–1777), wife of the third duke
Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire (1757–1806), first wife of the fifth duke
Elizabeth Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire (1759–1824), second wife of the fifth duke
Louisa Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire (1832–1911), wife of the eighth duke
Evelyn Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire (1870–1960), wife of the ninth duke
Mary Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire (1895–1988), wife of the tenth duke
Deborah Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire (1920–2014), wife of the eleventh duke
Amanda Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire (born 1944), wife of the twelfth duke

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98. Bring Out Your Dead: Royal Fascinations with Dead Bodies Jan 30, 2025

Show notes

We regret to inform you that today's legal regime of protecting corpses from desecration is a modern development, and even worse, royals have a rich history of relying on them for all sorts of things. Today we get into the alleged curative powers of corpses, especially among Spain's Hapsburg leaders a few centuries back.

Don Carlos himself, whom we covered last week, is said to have recovered from that serious head wound he received with the help of a local miracle-maker named Diego de Alcala - a Franciscan lay brother who had died some hundred years before.

Apparently the Spanish royals frequently slept beside the corpses of the venerated long dead. For instance, Isidore the Farmer was born around 1070 in Madrid and, over the course of his life, developed a bit of a legend for alleged miracles and feeding the poor. In death, his legend continued to grow, resulting in him being declared a Saint in the Catholic Church in 1619, then having his teeth pulled out to be placed under Charles II of Spain's pillows to aid his many ailments in 1696.

Speaking of Charles IIs, England had one, too, and he also had a penchant for human body parts. In his case though, the medicinal aspect was attained through consuming a tincture made from human skull fragments. And best of all, "The King's Drops" became all the rage across Europe for a century or more, which was certainly one way to put the remains of your ancestors to work for you.

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97. Don Carlos, Prince of Asturias Jan 23, 2025

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We've often marveled at the incestuous nature of royal marriages in Europe, but the inbreeding really came to a head in 16th century Spain, when King Philip II married and had a son with his double first cousin, Maria Manuela of Portugal. Carlos, their baby boy, came into the world with significant disadvantages; his legs were different lengths and his spine curved abnormally, causing problems with his gait and posture.

These are issues to be compassionate about, but Carlos's behavior from infancy forward tended toward the violent and sadistic. He injured his wet nurses by biting them, and was known to torture animals and humans alike as a child and adolescent. It's unclear whether his behavioral issues might have been inherited as well; among his four great-grandparents (most people have eight) and six great-great-grandparents (most people have sixteen) was Juana I of Castile, better known to us as Juana the Mad.

While Carlos was clearly unfit to become a monarch, Philip II was in a bit of a bind because he had no other sons, and his wives - he would be married four times in total - kept dying on him. Carlos's mother, Philip's first wife, died from complications from delivering him, Mary I of England died four years into their childless marriage, Elisabeth of Valois - originally betrothed to Carlos - died after nine years of marriage and several daughters, and finally, Anna of Austria was able to produce a living heir before she died after ten years of marriage. In the meantime, Philip found himself going to extreme lengths to protect his kingdom from his son - perhaps even by murdering him.

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96. Margaret Pole, Countess of Salisbury Jan 16, 2025

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One of the more fascinating women of the Tudor era was actually one of the last Plantagenets, Margaret Plantagenet, later Margaret Pole, Countess of Salisbury. Daughter of George, Duke of Clarence (he of Malmsey wine fame), and a niece to both King Edward IV and King Richard III, Margaret and her brother were taken into the care of King Henry VII after Richard's defeat at Bosworth Field. Henry's wife, Elizabeth of York, was Margaret's cousin, and perhaps because of his insecurities about his claim to the throne, Henry preferred to keep the remaining Plantagenets close.

As a consequence, Margaret had a front-row seat to some of the most consequential moments in the reigns of Henry VII and Henry VIII, including as a lady-in-waiting to Catherine of Aragon, who would become a close a friend across the decades. But she also suffered mightily; Henry VII imprisoned and then executed her brother, and after the death of her husband, Hank VII kept her nearly destitute through the confiscation of the Salisbury estate, rightfully her brother's Earldom. When Henry VIII succeeded his father - and Catherine of Aragon made a big return - Margaret was made whole, becoming one of only two women in 16th century England who was a peer in her own right.

Her success as a landowner did not sit well with the increasingly paranoid Henry VIII, who spent her last decade cracking down on her children, and eventually put Margaret into the Tower of London for a couple of years before Henry ordered her executed on the Tower Green on May 27, 1541. A contemporary report has it that she taunted her inexperienced executioner to the last.

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95. The Swiftory of Catherine of Aragon Jan 12, 2025

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Alicia is leading a Swiftory takeover! To celebrate the launch of her newest podcast, Swiftory, she's taking you into one of its origin stories - the life of Catherine of Aragon, the first wife of Henry VIII, through a five-song arc of Taylor Swift songs. This one will sate the palate of both Trashy Divorces and Trashy Royals listeners!

Subscribe to Swiftory on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.

Here are lyrics and live performances for you to enjoy your own musical journey!

Links with lyrics