Stay ConnectedWriter Tim Goodman (former SF Chronicle and Hollywood Reporter TV critic) talks irregularly with Jason Snell about television and other stuff. Released simultaneously worldwide to all international markets. Love to your mothers.
TV Talk Machine art by the late, great Don Asmussen.
Copyright: Copyright © The Incomparable
Chronicle readers react to the "Sopranos" finale.
Well, we're back bigger and stronger and less awful this week! And we're hot for Cougars! (theme song forthcoming). Even though Question Boy (Chronicle media writer Joe Garofoli) can't read an e-mail to save his life this time out, he rallies as we both tout the merits of older women, aka, "elder hot," aka "Cougars." Now, you might not think this is relevant to anything -- and normally that doesn't matter on the TV Talk Machine -- but NBC has a new reality series this month called "Age of Love," and that series will pit 40-something "Cougars" against 20-something "Kittens" as they vie for the "love" of a 30-year old professional tennis player. Indeed, it's a big episode this week. There's petty jealousy, threats of a pending Question Girl filling in for Joe -- or even special guest Don Asmussen -- plus I try to make a public service announcement and end up killing the show. Separately, there's a dramatic reading of one man's "break-up letter" to "24." And if you thought nothing could top elder-hot Cougars, you're wrong. Because our producer, Justin Beck, who only last week took over the knobs (temporarily) from Benny "The Podfather" Evangelista, has added "special effects." Roar! Maybe, dare we say it: Best. Podcast. Ever. And we thank Pat for the two letters. We kid because we love. Enjoy.
Worst. Podcast. Ever. Well, so far. I had a really bad headache and lacked sleep. Question Boy sucked at reading questions. Well, not really, but I like to blame him for everything. We were angry. I had the Cranky Pants on instead of the shorty robe. We made a stab at man-love and retreated. We didn't have any crazy-ass callers in a dark place. Benny "The Podfather" Evangelista, who we like to blame for pretty much everything, was out sick and Justin (last name deleted because we don't want to drag him down with us) filled-in and gave us some bad news (on purpose, we think, because we're lame). Which means Benny ruined this podcast for us yet again. Did I mention that Question Boy (Chronicle media writer Joe Garofoli) really fell down on his end? Because he did. And let's face it. I didn't have my "A" game. You know what? We're gonna put our rally caps on and come back again next week. Our goal: Mediocrity.
Well, let's just get right to it. Question Boy and the Cultural Commissar admit to "reimagining" Lindsay Wagner, "The Bionic Woman," in their younger days. Yes, in that way. Hey, it's Tim Goodman's TV Talk Machine! (well, that's the official title, so technically I'm not referring to myself in the third person but don't tempt me! Because I'll do it, like, all the time!) If you listen to no other TV Talk Machine, listen to well, no, let's not go there. But hey, check out our fancy new inline audio player for the podcast. Just click and play. You know, while you're reading your messages or something. In this podcast you will find, not necessarily in this order, random and pointless discussions about: The upfronts. "The Sopranos." Lindsay Wagner being "elder hot." The death--or IS it!?--of "According to Jim." Katie Couric getting hammered by Charlie Gibson. A clarification of whether it's Charlie or Charles Gibson. And Gibson being "elder hot." Another inch off the shorty robe! A shirtless man. E-mail (this time fresh, not rerun versions) from around the country. Phone calls from around the country, including a woman who wants to adopt me. And a woman who is, well, in a dark place. A shout out to Mrs. Cranky Pants. Question Boy caught cheating on the TVTM! A call from a flack. Someone makes fun of our theme song. And our producer, Benny "The Podfather" Evangelista fails us, technically, yet again. Listen, and have your life changed. Or shortened. One of the two.
Well, if ever there was any doubt that the TV Talk Machine was a flinty little operation with almost no managerial oversight, staffed by lazy, dumb and probably dishonest employees, well, this podcast will prove it definitively. It's the price of free, people. But you know what? There's a lot of love in it. There's even a shorty robe. And a man's chest. There are wayward metaphors, the inclusion of The World's Most Garbled Message, a plea for patience or at least understanding, a lot of laughs and--miraculously--a few snippets of useful information. As usual, I'm joined by Question Boy, the Chronicle's own media writer, Joe Garofoli. Make a mental note that the Garofoli and Goodman Media Investigation Unit will, in the very near future, take on a very daunting task: Can one man, maybe two, watch a week's worth of Jay Leno and find a laugh? Enjoy the podcast. The TV Talk Machine will be on vacation next week. No doubt planning a better show.
Conan O'Brien, who will bring his late night show to San Francisco starting Monday for a week of absurdist brilliance, phoned up the TV Talk Machine to chat a bit about The City, his future as the host of "The Tonight Show," his disappointment about how NBC botched Andy Richter's last sitcom (which Conan co-created) and what it's like taking the show on the road.
Welcome to one very jarring episode of the TV Talk Machine podcast. Normally, as you know, when I am team with Question Boy (the Chronicle's very own Joe Garofoli) discussing all things TV, it often descends to rambling silliness. But this time out--at least for about the first 25 minutes--we decided to get serious. It makes sense. Garofoli is The Chronicle's media writer. Prior to him taking that job, I pretty much handled the duties for years. Together, we have a lot of experience on that beat. And this week we've obviously been called to duty on the Virginia Tech shooting rampage. In fact, my column today is all about how television news still covers major events in the same flawed way as the last tragedy, never learning any lessons or adopting change. After we taped this podcast, I spent much of the day following the latest angle, where the gunman sent a "multi-media manifesto" to NBC News. I blogged about it the rest of the day. So, in a break from being inane on the podcast, the two of us discussed a variety of topics related to media coverage. I think you'll find that possibly enlightening. However, if you also crave an escape from this whole story, fear not. After we segue into a discussion of series like "The Sopranos" and "The Riches" and take a few calls, all hell breaks loose and the entire podcast devolves, basically, into me going gay for Jonathan Rhys Meyers in "The Tudors." And a woman wants to cancel her paper but she called the TV Talk Machine line instead, and of course we won't let her because we need the money. As for this week, it's a tonal nightmare. It's the TV Talk Machine!
Geraldine Laybourne is one of the most influential women in all of television. Laybourne is chairwoman and CEO of Oxygen Media and started the Oxygen channel in 2000, in partnership with Oprah Winfrey, Marcy Carsey, Tom Werner and Caryn Mandabach. In one of my ongoing podcasts with the people who actually make the TV you watch, I talk with Laybourne-who dropped by The Chronicle when she was in San Francisco, recently--about her early days running Nickelodeon and how she turned that network into the children's powerhouse it is today, along with launching Nick At Nite and Noggin. Laybourne was also vice chairperson of MTV Networks and later a vice president at ABC/Disney. In our discussion, the element of her successful career that struck me as most interesting was that Laybourne built a cable empire out of figuring out what kids want, but she is still trying to figure out what women want, as Oxygen tries to establish an identity and build its audience. Anyway, I vowed that we'd talk to as many of the power players in the business as possible (or the ones I could stomach), and Laybourne, though maybe not the familiar name that someone like Les Moonves might be, is one heavy hitter. Enjoy.
We are inching closer to the Sunday debut of "The Sopranos." In this second part of my critics roundtable on the TV Talk Machine, I chat with Dave Walker of the New Orleans Times-Picayune and Bill Goodykoontz of the Arizona Republic. Don't worry, no spoilers.
So the TV Talk Machine busts out its first critics roundtable, this time a two-parter starting today and finishing up with Pt. 2 on Friday. "The Sopranos" is the perfect kind of series for a critics roundtable because there's so much going on in the series and different people take away (and appreciate) different aspects of the series. I talked by phone with TV Guide critic Matt Roush, Portland Oregonian critic Peter Ames Carlin, New Orleans Times-Picayune critic Dave Walker and Arizona Republic critic Bill Goodykoontz. If the late night and off hours of the Television Critics Association press tour teaches anything, it's how to spot fellow critics who are thoughtful about what they do. (And also how to get powerful network publicists to re-open a closed bar, but that's another story.) Periodically I'll be checking in with critics from around the country in conversation about various (mostly worthy) TV shows. With only nine episode left in the landmark series, "The Sopranos," that seemed like a wise choice and I know people who come to The Bastard Machine for episode deconstructions of that series will appreciate the input from my friends and fellow critics. Enjoy.
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