Think Better, Live Better

20 Things to Stop Letting People Do to You (Setting Boundaries in Relationships 101) Feb 11, 2022

This past Saturday, while Angel and I were enjoying a safe and peaceful backyard barbecue at our friend Sara’s house, her 16-year-old foster child, Cody, received an unexpected visit from his biological mother – a woman who has been in and out of prison and rehab her whole life. Although Sara was a bit hesitant about it, she let Cody and his mother talk privately on the front porch. We occasionally eavesdropped from the living room window just to make sure everything was okay.

20 Things That Will Matter a Lot Less to You in 20 Years Feb 04, 2022

Too often we let the little frustrations of each day blind us to the beauty in front of us. We get caught up in our own heads, and literally don’t know our lives to be any better than the few things that aren’t going our way. We call people to complain or we spew out our gripes on social media. “Life is so unfair!” we yell. And everyone agrees and throws their two cents into the gossip pool.

10 Little Things to Remember When Life No Longer Excites You Jan 28, 2022

Once upon a time, there was a girl who could do anything in the world she wanted. All she had to do was choose something and focus. So one day she sat down in front of a blank canvas and began to paint. Every stroke was more perfect than the next, slowly and gracefully converging to build a flawless masterpiece. And when she eventually finished painting, she stared proudly at her work and smiled.

7 Mantras for Those Who Have Lost Their Motivation and Hope Jan 21, 2022

Earlier today, I was sitting on a park bench eating a sandwich for lunch when an elderly couple pulled their car up under a nearby oak tree. They rolled down the windows and turned up some jazz music on the radio. Then the man got out of the car, walked around to the passenger side, and opened the door for the woman. He took her hand and helped her out of her seat, guided her about ten feet away from the car, and they slow danced for the next half hour under the oak tree.

7 Brutal Lessons that Ultimately Make Life Beautiful Jan 14, 2022

The reason for our suffering, in all walks of life, is our resistance to the truth.

Sometimes it’s brutally hard to accept life’s greatest lessons. And yet we must!

Because it’s lessons like these that ultimately make our lives beautiful, by showing us how to thrive even through the toughest of times…

4 Little Things That Will Matter a Lot More to You in 40 Years Jan 07, 2022

God willing, you’ll be gifted another 40 years of life experience.

But even if you aren’t, the core principle of this article remains relevant:

As you age, you’ll learn to value your time, genuine relationships, meaningful work, and peace of mind, much more. Little else will matter.

Deep down you know this already, right?

18 Things to Remember When Your Heart is Breaking Dec 31, 2021

It’s a dull, subdued sensation, when your heart is breaking, like the muffled sound of a distant gunshot. It doesn’t physically pierce your skin or tear you to pieces, but the sensation is physically present – the paralyzing discomfort of realizing that something you took for granted is leaving for good.

4 Hard Truths About Today that Will Make You A Stronger Person Dec 17, 2021

We are all beautiful human beings, just trying to find our way. Today and every day we seek to better understand the meaning of our lives. We long to discover our gifts and release them fully into the world, and we hope to find happiness, peace, and strength along the way. For some of us the key to these desires rings loud and clear, driving what we do and how we do it from moment to moment. For others, these deep seeded needs are buried below the noise of daily life, below ego, below fear, below the pressures and norms that we face in society… and thus, they are rarely addressed.

How To Practice Letting Go (When You Catch Yourself Holding On) Oct 29, 2021

If you worry too much about what might be, or what might have been, you will ignore and overlook what is. Remember this. Happiness is letting go of what you assume life is supposed to be like right now and sincerely appreciating it for everything it is.

3 Ways To Break Through When You're Burning Out And Ready For A Change Oct 22, 2021

On my birthday many moons ago, when Google and I were both a lot younger, I Googled “how to change your life when you’re burning out” to see what would come up. I had been feeling hopelessly trapped in a cycle of busyness—like I was racing around in circles every day without any meaningful progress. And it was time to find a better roadmap because I was literally getting depressed with the same old grind.

20 Things To Remember When Rejection Hurts Oct 15, 2021

As you look back on your life, you will realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected by someone or from something you wanted, you were in fact being redirected to someone or something you needed.

Seeing this when you’re in the midst of feeling rejected, however, is quite tough. I know because I’ve been there.

20 Powerful Affirmations We Should Repeat To Ourselves This Year Oct 08, 2021

Undoubtedly, the days, weeks and months ahead will be filled with incredible highs and stressful lows. But in any case, we can train our minds to make the best of the present as it unfolds.

Remind yourself that the mind is like a muscle, and just like every muscle in the human body, it needs to be exercised to gain strength. It needs to be trained daily to grow and develop gradually over time.

12 Stories Of Kindness And Generosity That Will Change The Way You Live Oct 01, 2021

When life is pressing on you and stressing you out, pause, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you are not at the center of the universe.

When you’re overwhelmed by life’s daily struggles, it’s so easy to feel like you’re at the center. But you aren’t. None of us are.

10 Things To Give Up To Get Yourself Back On Track Sep 24, 2021

If you want to grow and move on to better things, you have to give up the things that hold you back.

10 Powerful Mantras To Stop You From Judging People Sep 17, 2021

One of the most incredible changes I’ve made in my life, which has undoubtedly made me a happier person and a better friend, is learning to let go of judging people.

Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I don’t ever judge others – we all have a tendency to do so by default… it’s a human instinct, and I’m not the exception. But I have learned to catch myself, and to recognize how judging is harmful.

1 Tiny Yet Hard Step You Need To Take For Yourself Sep 10, 2021

Too often people overestimate the significance of one big defining moment and underestimate the value of making good decisions and tiny steps of progress on a daily basis. The friction and frustration created by trying to change things you cannot change is the crucible where a ton of unhappiness is born. Accepting that most things are outside your influence gives you explicit permission to let them unfold as they may.

8 Effective Ways to Let Go And Move On Sep 03, 2021

You are changing. The universe around you is changing. Just because something was right for you in the past doesn’t mean it still is. This could be a relationship, a job, a home, a habit, etc.

It happens to you slowly as you grow. You discover more about who you are and what you want out of life, and then you realize there are deliberate changes you need to make to keep up with the changes happening around you and within you

10 Quotes For Letting Go of How Life Should Be Aug 27, 2021

When life has to be a certain way in order to be good enough for us, we close ourselves off from so many of the real and present opportunities available.

On the contrary, when we let go of the way it “should be,” we free our minds to deal with life’s unexpected changes, challenges and chaos in the most effective way possible…

7 Mantras that Will Stop You From Taking Things Personally Aug 20, 2021

Don’t let the drama of today bring you down. Keep calm when stress or negativity surrounds you. Breathe, and let calmness be your superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally always gives you the upper hand.

11 Easy Ways to Uncomplicate Your Life Aug 13, 2021

Let’s start off here with a simple question:

What does your perfect day look and feel like?

Visualizing your perfect day is important not necessarily because it will be a recurring reality, but because it’s crucial to understand what a simple life — or an “uncomplicated life” — really means to you.

One Hard Thing You Must Admit Before Your Life Slips Away Aug 06, 2021

Let’s start with a story that Marc wrote about the night we met . . .

She has light brown hair, a seductive smile, and the most engaging set of hazel-green eyes I’ve ever seen. It’s the kind of engaging I can’t ignore—the kind that makes me want to engage too. Because she’s mysterious. And I’m curious. And I need to know more.

21 Tiny Stories For Those Who Have Lost Their Motivation Jul 30, 2021

We all need our own time to travel our own distance.

And right now, you just need to keep peaceful, productive thoughts and perspectives centered in your mind, as you take things one step at a time…

How To Begin Again After An Unexpected Ending Jul 23, 2021

As you struggle forward in the days and weeks ahead, remind yourself, it is far better to be exhausted from lots of effort, learning and growth, than it is to be tired of doing absolutely nothing.

19 Great Truths My Grandmother Told Me on Her 90th Birthday Jul 16, 2021

“I have seen and touched and danced and sang and climbed and loved and meditated on a lifetime spent living honestly. Should it all end tonight, I can positively say there would be no regrets. I feel fortunate to have walked 90 years in my shoes. I am truly lucky. I really have lived 1,000 times over.”

Those are the opening lines of the final entry in my grandmother Zelda’s journal—a 270-page leather-bound journal she wrote small entries in almost every morning during the final decade of her life.

One Strong Thing Mentally Strong People Do Mar 04, 2020

It’s wild how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Life keeps leading us down paths we would never travel if it were up to us.

Don’t be afraid.

Have faith.

Trust the journey.

Don’t let your expectations of how life “should be” blind you to the beauty of the life you’re living.

4 Reasons You Need to Keep Doing Hard Things to Be Happy, Healthy and Successful Mar 02, 2020

If you already feel like you’re at the end your rope today with little slack left to hold on to, realize your mind is lying to you. It has imprisoned you by reciting self-defeating stories in your head—stories about your mistakes and what you should have done differently. And you’ve begun to believe that you’re really stuck.

But you’re NOT.

10 Hard Things to Remember When You Feel Like Giving Up Feb 26, 2020

The goal isn’t to get rid of all your painful thoughts, feelings, and life circumstances. That’s impossible. The goal is to follow in Susan’s footsteps, and change your response to them today!

It’s never too late. Just decide to make the best of it. No excuses. No resistance. No giving up. No regrets.

Teamwork: How Small People Create Massive, Life-Changing Results Feb 24, 2020

Sometimes we all need to be reminded of the power and beauty of working together.

As Helen Keller so profoundly said, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” There is immense power between us when we combine forces to work toward a common goal. Teamwork is everything!

All together… we are infinite!

Try Again: How to Restore the Faith You Once Had in Yourself Feb 21, 2020

When I was a high school freshman, a 260-pound freshman girl showed up for track and field tryouts right alongside me. Her name was Sara, and she was only there because her doctor said her health depended on it. But once she scanned the crowd of students who were on the field, she turned around and began walking away. Coach O’Leary saw her, jogged over, and turned her back around.

4 Toxic Behaviors that Tear Relationships Apart Feb 19, 2020

Over the years, through our coaching practice, Getting Back To Happy course, and live events, Marc and I have worked with thousands of individuals and couples looking to fix their failing relationships, and we’ve learned a lot about what it takes to make this happen.

18 Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I Was 18 Feb 12, 2020

This morning I was reading a book at my favorite beach-side coffee shop when an 18-year-old kid sat down next to me and said, “That’s a great read, ain’t it?” So we started chatting.
He told me he was getting ready to graduate from high school in a couple of weeks and then immediately starting his college career in the fall. “But I have no clue what I want to do with my life,” he said. “Right now I’m just going with the flow.”
And then, with eager, honest eyes, he began asking me one question after the next...

5 Things to Remember When Someone You Love is Depressed Feb 09, 2020

If you love someone who is depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. They don’t know. Depression isn’t a straightforward, thought-out response to a tough situation – depression just IS, like December’s weather in Seattle.

How to Change the Way You Feel (Without Changing Anything Else) Feb 05, 2020

Happiness does not start with a relationship, a degree, a job, or money. It starts with your thinking and what you tell yourself today.

Should I forgive him? Should I forgive her? Here’s what you should ask yourself first. Feb 03, 2020

Truly, there is an obvious shift in our hearts and minds that happens when we go from feeling hurt and upset to peaceful and loving, but it’s not necessarily forgiveness that’s taking place, it’s just the realization that there was nothing to forgive in the first place. Because mistakes are the growing pains of wisdom, and sometimes they just need to be accepted with no strings attached.

How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed (by Everything on Your Plate) Jan 29, 2020

True purpose has no time limit. True purpose has no deadline. Don’t stress and overwhelm yourself. Just do what you can right now.

3 Hard Questions You Need to Start Asking Yourself on Hard Days Jan 27, 2020

A couple thousand years ago in ancient Greece, the great philosopher Socrates was strolling contemplatively around a community garden when a neighbor walked up to him and said, “You’re never in a million years going to believe what I just heard about our mutual friend…”

“Wait,” Socrates interrupted, putting his hand up in the air. “Before you continue with this story, your words must pass the triple filter test?”

How To Find Gratitude Jan 22, 2020

Angel and I recently interviewed a minimum wage motel housekeeper in Miami for a project we’re working on to support our New York Times bestselling book, Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs. “Do you like your job?” we asked her. To our surprise, she smiled from ear to ear and was breathless for a couple moments. She finally collected herself and said, “I can’t believe how much I love my job! I get to make dozens of our guests happy every day and feed my two beautiful children at the same time…”

10 Insanely Popular Ways to Weaken Your Self-Confidence Jan 20, 2020

You can have all the knowledge in the world, but it means nothing without building up the confidence to do something with it.

How To Make Life Simple Again Jan 15, 2020

Life gets a lot simpler when you clear the clutter that makes it complicated. Bring your attention back to what’s important, and move forward with your life.

5 Reasons My 90 Yr. Old Grandma Smiled Jan 13, 2020

Fifteen years ago, I was lucky enough to witness the humble, elegant, peaceful passing of my 89-year-old grandpa. As I sat quietly in his hospice room alongside my grandma and other family members, his nurse smiled softly and said, “I can see he lived well. People his age often pass just the way they lived.”

7 Things to Remember When You Feel Discouraged and Defeated Jan 08, 2020

We aren’t machines, constantly charged up and ready to fire on all cylinders. We are human, which means we falter, we doubt, and we feel pain sometimes. And this too shall pass.

Choose Yourself Today Jan 06, 2020

Whatever your tough times consist of, sometimes it’s just NOT OK right now. And that, again, is more than OK.

Yes, we're suggesting to try your hardest to be perfectly OK with not being perfectly OK all the time. Because those with the strength to succeed in the long run are the ones who lay a firm foundation of growth with the bricks life has thrown at them.

10 Things To Remember About Toxic Family Jan 01, 2020

Letting go of (or breaking up with) a toxic friend, boyfriend or girlfriend is one thing, and there’s plenty of advice out there for doing so, but what about letting go of a toxic family member?

8 Little Wake-up Calls Dec 30, 2019

Today, we hope you will have another inspired day, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will make some progress that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change. And, most importantly (because we think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this crazy world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.

15 Important Reminders for Your Darkest Moments of Self-Doubt Dec 25, 2019

Our character is often most evident at our highs and lows. Be humble at the mountaintops, be strong in the valleys, and be faithful in between. Think better, live better.

How To Be Calm Dec 23, 2019

On a chilly evening 18 years ago, after spending nearly every waking minute with Angel for eight straight days, I knew I had to tell her just one thing. So late at night, just before she fell asleep, I whispered it in her ear. She smiled … the kind of smile that makes me smile back. And she said, “When I’m 75, and I think about my life and what it was like to be young, I hope I can remember this very moment.”

5 Things to Remember When Someone You Love Loses Someone They Love Dec 18, 2019

We all know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely shocked when it happens to someone we love. It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step. You expected there to be one more stair than there is, and so you find yourself off balance for a moment, before your mind shifts back to the present moment and how the world really is.

10 Regrets Too Many People Will Have Dec 16, 2019

In the final decade of his life, my grandfather woke up every single day at 7AM, picked a fresh wild flower on his morning walk, and took it to my grandmother. One morning, I decided to go with him to see her. And as he placed the flower on her gravestone, he looked up at me and said, “I just wish I had picked her a fresh flower every morning when she was alive. She really would have loved that.”
When I’m on the cusp of my 80’s, I don’t want to sit with regrets. I don’t want to wish I had done things differently—especially something as simple, yet meaningful, as picking wild flowers for the love of my life.

Don’t you agree?

5 Notes To Self Dec 09, 2019

Alyssa was my best friend. She was a talented musician, a graceful gymnast, a brilliant writer, and a deeply passionate human being. She cared about people. Love bled from every facet of her being. When she spoke, her eyes were as sincere as her words. And she always wanted to understand what was wrong so she could strive to make it better.

But Alyssa woke up one day during her senior year in college with a strange pain in her chest...because a world with no guarantees requires us to make the best of the precious little time we have left.

7 Ways To Protect Yourself Dec 09, 2019

Have you ever met Debbie Downer, Negative Nancy or Pessimistic Patty? These people can be so entrenched in the bad things that there isn’t any room for good things to grow. They inhabit our families and social circles. It can be emotionally draining just being around them, and you must be careful because their attitudes are contagious. Negativity perpetuates itself, breeds dissatisfaction and clutters the mind. And when the mind is cluttered with negativity, happiness is much harder to come by.

Be A Little More Optimistic Dec 09, 2019

If the grass looks greener on the other side…Stop staring. Stop comparing. Stop complaining. And START watering the grass you’re standing on.
Truly, the most powerful weapon against daily stress is our ability to choose one thought, or response, over another.

7 Reasons to Stop Proving Yourself Dec 09, 2019

Sometimes we try to show the world we are flawless in hopes that we will be liked and accepted by everyone, but we can’t please everyone and we shouldn’t try. The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections. When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real happiness, and real success.

7 Short Stories That Will Change Your Attitude Dec 09, 2019

Stories...they're not just for children. We believe they have the power to change, the ability to shift your outlook. So, let us distract you for a moment and tell you seven short stories.

These are old stories – familiar stories. The people and the circumstances differ slightly for everyone who tells them, but the core lessons remain the same.

We hope the twist we’ve put on them here inspires you to think differently…

Don't Be Afraid to Do 10 Hard Things Oct 31, 2019

We've said it before and we'll say it again: you absolutely need to do hard things to be happy in the long run. Because the hard things ultimately build you up and change your life. They make the difference between existing and living, between knowing the path and walking it, between a lifetime of empty promises and one filled with more possibility and progress.

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