Stay ConnectedThe Think Act Be podcast features conversations about finding happiness, peace, and connection. Clinical psychologist Seth Gillihan talks with his guests about ways to nourish your mind, body, and spirit.
For one-on-one sessions with Seth Gillihan: sethgillihan.com/1-1-sessions
For individual psychotherapy (in CA or DC) with Joel Minden: cbtchico.com
My guest this week is Pamela Seelig, author of the recent book Threads of Yoga: Themes, Reflections, & Meditations to Weave into Your Practice (affiliate link). Pam and I talked a lot about the healing and stress relief we can find through yoga, and also about the deeper spiritual elements that are available through the practice. I appreciated thinking with her about the intersections between yoga and religion, especially the Christianity I grew up in. We also discussed why savasana, or the corpse pose we usually do at the end of a yoga session, is the most important pose.
My guest this week is Shelly Tygielski, author of the recent book, Sit Down to Rise Up: How Radical Self-Care Can Change the World. Shelly is doing some really remarkable things, though she insists that anyone can do the things she does if we’re just willing to show up as ourselves and take some risks. What she’s doing is even more remarkable when you hear about the illness that she’s had to deal with for the past twenty years or so. But then again, our struggles often make us who we are, and lead us to places we hadn’t imagined, as Shelly as I discuss. I also enjoyed talking with her about how mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can work together.
My guest this week is Dr. Kristin Kobes Du Mez, author of a recent book called Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation. We explored the definition of an “evangelical,” which apparently I was for the first half of my life (without realizing it), and themes of a patriarchal, male-centered, even toxic masculinity that pervades many evangelical circles. We also considered how it is that evangelical Christianity became so wrapped up in notions of patriotism, military strength, and other things that don’t necessarily come from the life and message of Jesus Christ. Even if a person comes to reject the teachings from their evangelical upbringing, it can be a real challenge to let go of the attitudes and assumptions that have been instilled in us from a young age, as I know from personal experience.
Kristin and I shared openly about our understanding of Christ, and the sadness that I certainly feel from the realization that we so often miss the central message of the Gospel—like somehow we just lost our way. And there’s a lot to grieve when we realize how much we squander when we pattern our identity as religious followers after the worldly way of doing things, and how it doesn’t seem to lead to something transcendent, like it could.
My guest this week is Amanda Gilbert, author of the recent book, Kindness Now: A 28-Day Guide to Living with Authenticity, Intention, and Compassion. As Amanda and I discussed, we could all do with a little more kindness right now—for ourselves, for others, for the world. She introduces the traditional Buddhist heart practices known as the brahma-viharas: loving-kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity.The practices she offers will help you to be more resilient in the face of common stressors and triggers in everyday life, including anxiety, feelings of depression, imposter syndrome, and social media comparison effects—and can inspire you to make meditation an essential part of your daily life and self-care practice.
My guest this week is Kristen Manieri, author of the new book Better Daily Mindfulness Habits: Simple Changes with Lifelong Impact. This was a really interesting conversation that went some directions I hadn’t expected—especially on the topic of mindfulness—that I found really clarifying. One intriguing question we considered together: Should it be relaxing to practice mindfulness and meditation? As Kristen described, it’s not necessarily a comfortable or safe process to fully wake up, and yet it’s the only way to be fully alive. We also explored the importance of connecting with ourselves and our bodies, and how we can use physical symptoms as signals for things we need to attend to.
My guest this week is Dr. Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco. She’s a clinical psychologist and she has a new book called Mom Brain: Proven Strategies to Fight the Anxiety, Guilt, and Overwhelming Emotions of Motherhood—And Relax Into Your New Self. We talked about what mom brain actually is—which is very different from the pop culture ideas about it. She also shares about how to deal with the resentment that many moms feel about all the invisible work they do for the family, and how to manage the common thought processes that contribute to mothers’ stress and anxiety. Ilyse does a lot to validate moms, which is especially important in a society that too often shames mothers for somehow not measuring up to unrealistic standards. Toward the end of our conversation I asked Ilyse how long mom brain lasts, and it turns out it’s probably a lot longer than we might think. If you’re a mother, I think you’ll get a lot out of this discussion, and please share it with other moms you know.
My guest this week is clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Saporito. Karen has a particular interest and specialty in diagnosing and treating kids and adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, and autism spectrum disorder. We focused in this conversation on ADHD. I know from my own clinical work that this is a really important topic that doesn’t get enough attention.
There are so many people who are struggling to finish assignments in school, or organize their home lives, or meet the deadlines and demands of work, or get places on time, and they don’t realize that they might have undiagnosed ADHD. And sadly the person who’s struggling can assume that it’s their fault, and that they’re just lazy or incapable, when in fact it’s just the way their brain works. Karen does an excellent job explaining why the diagnosis is often missed, especially among girls and women, and the signs and symptoms to look for.
My guest this week is Dr. Carmen McLean, who specializes in treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder or PTSD. She recently co-authored a book called Retraining the Brain: Applied Neuroscience in Exposure Therapy for PTSD. It was great to get Carmen’s take on how effective treatment works and how we can support the body and brain’s natural ability to heal following a trauma. I shared some about my own experience recovering from a traumatic assault, and we explored how powerful it can be to face our trauma-related fears and memories systematically, as we do in cognitive behavioral therapy. Toward the end of our discussion we also talked about a free app that can help with recovery from trauma, which I provide a link to in the show notes.
My guest this week is Dr. Kathryn Gordon. Katie’s a clinical psychologist and she recently wrote The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook, so our discussion centered around suicide. This is a painful topic that touches so many of us, and it leaves such a hole in our lives when we lose someone to suicide. A friend of mine took his own life a few years ago, and I still think about it nearly every day, and wonder what was going on in his mind and in his heart that led him to that place of desperation. I’ve also had my own battles with wanting to end my life, when I was in the depths of a chronic illness and depression and started to believe it’d be better for everyone if I just went away.
As you’ll hear in our discussion, I really appreciate how Katie approaches the issue of suicide. It’s a scary thing when we know someone is thinking about ending their life, and it’s easy to go into crisis-management mode, and really lose sight of the person in front of us. Katie’s focus is on staying really close to the person, and inviting them to tell her more—really sending the message that there’s nothing defective about us when we’re feeling suicidal, and this is exactly the response that’s missing so often in discussions of suicide.
I think the mental health world by and large has made the mistake of emphasizing safety over humanity when suicide is in the room. I’ve heard this from many of my patients and in response to blog posts I’ve written about suicide—that nobody wants to bring it up because they’re afraid they’re going to be treated as a risk to be managed, and that they’re going to be locked up against their will, instead of being treated as a person in pain who needs more connection in that moment.
Now, of course safety is important, and we want to do everything we can to help ourselves or our loved one or our patient to stay alive. But we might need to remind ourselves not to lose sight of the bigger picture, that someone who’s suicidal doesn’t want to live because they’re in pain. So it’s not just a question of “what can we do to keep you alive?” We have to ask how we can help someone to move through the pain and find the connection that makes life worth living. And that’s exactly what Katie’s book is all about, so I’m really pleased to share this conversation with you.
My guest this week is Regina Louise, author of a new book called Permission Granted: Kick-Ass Strategies to Bootstrap Your Way to Unconditional Self-Love. I know I’ve often tended to seek permission from other people to do the things I want to do. The first time I had a book contract, for example, I felt like colleagues and past supervisors were looking over my shoulder, and like I had to clear everything I wanted to say with them in my head before I wrote it. But obviously that’s not a great place to write from, and we end up really limiting ourselves when we look to others for permission that isn’t theirs to give. So as you’ll hear Regina describe, we can liberate ourselves from the false stories we carry about what we’re allowed to do and who gets to decide who we are and what we’re capable of. I think you’ll find her message very uplifting and inspiring.
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