The YES Effect

Latest Episodes:

TYE 157: The Gift of Imperfection (Why I've Been Away From Podcasting) Aug 28, 2023

Show notes

Today, I want to talk about accepting and embracing the wonderful gift of imperfection. As someone who has struggled with perfectionism, I realize it's been holding me back from creating content lately, including this podcast.

Oddly enough, as a speaker, podcaster and content creator, I am not comfortable in the spotlight. The amount of times I've shied away from posting videos or recording interviews because I hated how I looked that day, or the lighting was off, or I just didn't feel "camera ready" is more than I can count. And it has let so much magic go to waste.

If we continue waiting for the perfect moment to offer the world our gifts, they'll stay locked away forever. That's the beautiful thing about imperfection: it releases all that magic, no matter how it looks on the outside. Because doing it imperfectly is better than not doing it at all.

Sometimes you just gotta grip it n' rip it (like this episode). Believe me, it feels good.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to overcome perfectionism
Why we need to stop worrying about our appearance
How to build confidence
How to confidently step out from behind the scenes
How to overcome fear of being on camera
How to learn to accept and appreciate imperfect

Links mentioned in this episode:

TYE 154: How to overcome perfectionism and embrace the messy steps to success

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TYE 156: Unlocking the Brilliance Inside Challenging Kids with Dayna Abraham Aug 21, 2023

Show notes

Dayna Abraham has developed a guide for parenting "challenging" kids - those with big emotions, power struggles; the misbehavers and neurodivergents. Her new bestselling book "Calm the Chaos - a Failproof Roadmap for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids'' is aimed at reframing what we typically label as "challenging" behaviour as an opportunity for adults to learn and empower their kids to reach their full, innate potential.

In this episode, Abraham talks about how her framework helps parents foster connections, understanding, and empowerment, while removing the stress and overwhelm of parenting. After all, some of the world's greatest innovators and change-makers were once labelled "challenging" children.

Dayna Abraham is the bestselling author of "The Superkids Activity Guide to Conquering Every Day" and "Sensory Processing 101". She is also the founder of the popular parenting website "Lemon Lime Adventures."

In this episode, you'll learn:

The benefits of "challenging" behaviour in children
How parents can learn from their children
Why calmness is important in parenting
Neurodivergence and neurodiversity
How all behaviour is communication
How to teach empathy to your children
How to help your kids feel more seen, heard and understood
Why you should communicate when you're upset or stressed
The problem with rewarding "good" behaviours

Quotables:

"Parents often jump to 'what do we do about this situation?' instead of 'how do we be in this situation?'"

"To understand that you might not understand is pretty powerful."

Links mentioned in this episode:

Calm The Chaos book (order now)

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TYE 155: Focus On The Next Step, Not The Whole Mountain (How I Wrote A Song) Mar 14, 2023

Show notes

To make a big dream happen, you have to break it into small, individual steps and focus on the next first step. This way, you can make even the wildest, even most absurd, idea a success. This episode is a story about how my 13 year-old step son Ry and I co-created a song with the help of a celebrity music producer, without ever meeting him, and with almost zero musical abilities myself.

I just really wanted to make a song with Ry, and focused on the next first step.

Listen to the end to hear the song itself and a super inspiring Q&A with Ry at the end.

Whatever your big, even absurd, dream is, you don't need to know exactly how you're going to achieve it. You just need to know three things: that it's a "yes," what the next first step is, and who to ask for help.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to break success down into small steps
How I was able to co-write a song without any musical ability
How I sourced my network for help
How I ended up working with a celebrity music producer, who has worked with Cher, Tina Turner, Pink, Gwen Stefani, Joe Cocker & Disney
How to get more people to say "yes" to your requests
Why passion and persistence lead to success
How to listen to your body

Quotables:

"You don't need to know all the steps. You just need to know: is this a yes, am I excited, and what is the next first thing?"

Links mentioned in this episode:

TYE 151: How To Overcome The Fear of Asking Questions (A Personal Story)

TYE 128: P!nk bassist Eva Gardner on rock stardom and overcoming rejection

TYE 005: A Rock Star's Guide to Overcoming Fear with Mark Schulman

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TYE 154: How to overcome perfectionism and embrace the messy steps to success Jan 30, 2023

Show notes

Perfectionism is a killer of hopes and dreams. The challenge is learning to accept and embrace the messy, imperfect steps necessary to create momentum. It's how every successful person gets to the top of the mountain, and why so many people never reach it.

This quick episode is about my holistic approach to doing things the most human way possible: imperfectly. Please listen, share and I hope this lights your fire to keep taking messy, imperfect steps forward to your ultimate "yes!"

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why people often fail at their goals
Why New Year's Resolutions often fail
The compound effect
How successful people manage failure
How to overcome perfectionism

Quotables:

"You can't get to the top of your mountain unless you're willing to deal with your own humanity where you're going to be doing it imperfectly. The question is: are you going to be doing it?"

"It's always going to be messy and ugly. The only thing that matters is 'can I keep going?'"

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TYE 153: The life-changing power of a small act of kindness Jan 23, 2023

Show notes

We often never know how far an act of kindness can go or how it can change someone's day, or their entire life. Here's a quick story of kindness from a recent trip to the grocery store, which started with something rather unkind.

Too often, people are dismissed and not looked at for the wholeness of who they actually are.

Everyone has bad days.

But everyone deserves our kindness.

Please listen, share and let me know what you think - leave a review or DM me on Instagram @shellivarela

TYE 152: Say What You Need to Say Before It's Too Late Jan 16, 2023

Show notes

This holiday season was a difficult one for me, and in this episode, I explain why & what I learned from it.

In the very days leading up, one of my absolute closest people fell ill and died quite suddenly. I spent Christmas Day in the hospice at her side, spending those final inevitable moments in deep sorrow and reflection. But those moments also reminded me of a valuable life lesson - woven beautifully into one of my favourite John Mayer songs.

Please listen and share with someone who needs to hear it. Death and dying are indeed both heartbreaking and beautiful.

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TYE 151: How To Overcome The Fear of Asking Questions (A Personal Story) Dec 28, 2022

Show notes

At some point we developed this fear of asking questions. For so many people, the thought of potentially hearing "no" is crippling enough to pass up the incredible possibility of "yes." But as the saying goes, "you'll never know until you ask," and not asking at all, ironically, leads to that same dreaded "no" by default. So how do we find the courage to ask questions?

In this episode, I'm sharing two occasions where - scared as I was - I took a shot at asking. One resulted in a business deal with one of the biggest luxury car companies in the world (for a firefighter calendar I was producing), and the other a close friendship with a celebrity musician who accepted my random and totally ridiculous fangirl request for a drum lesson.

I hope these stories inspire you to look past the chance of "no" and envision what your life could look like if simply asking the question brings you a life-changing "yes."

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to overcome the fear of asking questions
Why you'll likely hear "yes" more than "no" if you just ask
How I landed a sponsorship deal with Lamborghini
Why we inevitably forget hearing "no"
How I became close friends with former P!nk drummer & speaker, Mark Schulman
How to find the courage to ask questions
Why we need to normalize asking questions

This conversation was from a candid, behind-the-scenes chat with my producer, but I wanted to share it with you. Let me know your thoughts on this episode and the topic of asking questions. Is there a "yes" out there for you? (contacts below).

Links mentioned in this episode:

TYE 005: A Rock Star's Guide to Overcoming Fear with Mark Schulman

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TYE 150: How a no-sugar diet can change your life with Netta Gorman Oct 04, 2022

Show notes

When Netta Gorman stopped eating sugar, it not only changed her life, but also the lives of hundreds of others. She now helps people eliminate sugar through her coaching programs and immensely popular "Life After Sugar" podcast.

But Netta's journey to the land of no sugar, flour or sweeteners wasn't easy (as we've all tried and mostly failed). But after a lifetime of digestive issues, doctor's visits and failed efforts, Netta caved to this small but life-changing recommendation of a Nutritional Therapist. Her results were so effective, she's now dedicated to guiding others past the emotional and societal challenges of a no-sugar diet.

Netta Gorman is on The YES Effect podcast to talk about the challenges and benefits of ditching sugar for good and how she turned her success story into a life of helping others say "yes" to better health and feel free from sugar cravings and mindless snacking.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why sugar and flour cause so many digestive issues
Netta's long and difficult journey to finally eliminating sugar, flour and sweeteners
The immediate effects of a no-sugar diet
How sugar affects weight, energy level and digestion
Why social pressure makes it difficult to stop eating sugar
Why eliminating sugar cravings starts with removing your emotional attachment to sugary foods
How Netta turned her personal success into a business

Quotables:

"I couldn't imagine not doing what I'd always done."

"If you want something different, you have to do something different."

"I got hooked on feeling great and that's what keeps me motivated."

"Social pressure to consume sugar is strong. When you don't consume sugar anymore, the social pressure to consume it again is even stronger."

Links mentioned in this episode:

After Sugar Club

Life After Sugar podcast

Netta on Instagram | Facebook | YouTube

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TYE 149: I wasn't meant to be the prettiest girl in school Sep 22, 2022

Show notes

Jealousy and comparison can shatter us. But when we focus on others' success, money, fame, appearance, situation or whatever, we forget the truth - the truth of our own gifts and the true story of what's beneath the surface.

I wanted to share this quick story about a girl in my high school - hands down the prettiest and most popular girl in the school. Every fibre in my short, geeky body badly wanted to be her. Turns out, there was so much more to the story, and it made me forever grateful for my own gifts and for being exactly who I be.

I hope this inspires you to focus on your gifts and appreciate exactly where you are on your journey.

Please listen, review and share with someone who needs to hear it too.

Quotables:

"If you are trying to build a castle, make sure you don't build it on sand. Build it on something that's going to last. Build it on something real. Build it on something that is true and authentic to you."

"There are going to be times when you look at other people and think 'this is grossly unfair that this is my life and other people get to have that' but sometimes you can't see over the fence."

"If ever you find yourself in a position where you feel like 'this just sucks, it's hard and I wish I had that', just keep using and building the tools in your own tool box to get you to the destination you are meant to be."

Links mentioned in the episode:

TYE 124: What I learned from getting bullied at school

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TYE 148: How to build positive company culture by learning about your people and their stories Sep 15, 2022

Show notes

To build a positive company culture, you first need to show that you care about your people. Sounds like a simple concept, right?

Then why does so much toxic company culture still exist? It's because leaders need to learn more about what drives their people and why, and most importantly, genuinely care.

In today's episode, I'm going to explain how leaders can build far more successful businesses and create a much more positive work environment using the power of story. The perfect example: how the Wright Brothers won the highly competitive race to invent the airplane by putting people & culture first.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why story is the most underutilized leadership tool
How to create a more positive company culture
What story actually means when it comes to company culture and employee relationships
What currency actually means to your employees (spoiler: it's not money)
The 2 types of story and which is more important
Why corporations use story in their marketing
How to get more out of your employees
How to become a better leader in the workplace

Quotables:

"Leadership needs to know about story. It's the most under-utilized tool in the leadership toolbox."

"When you're a leader, you're leading humans. When you learn about story you learn to give a s**t about humans."

"When we think of currency, we automatically think about money. Money is currency, for sure, but so is pride, so is peace, accomplishment and freedom. So if you;re a leader of a team you need to know what's going on in the minds of the people you're leading. What is their currency? You want your team to go through a wall for you? Show them you give a s**t."

"Nobody cares to understand you unless they first feel understood."

"Story is a snapshot in time, your perspective of that snapshot and what you make it mean. And it's the meaning that drives the story."

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