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    Arts

    The Worst Bestsellers

    We read stuff so you don’t have to.

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    Copyright: Copyright © Worst Bestsellers 2024

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 112 – Queer Thoughts on Having It All Dec 03, 2018
    Show notes

    Having it All by Helen Gurley Brown

    How do you get and keep a man? Hell if Kait knows, even after reading Having It All by Helen Gurley Brown. Once again, Kait has gathered some queer friends to see if Helen Gurley Brown’s worldview falls apart if you are not a heterosexual, cisgender woman. (Spoiler alert: It does!) Join Kait, Wren (of Ready to Roll), and Laura as they explore whether bisexual people exist (Spoiler alert: They do!), what the best “thanks for the sex!” gift is (brass lion all the way), and how much to tip on dates (less than the price of whatever outmoded status symbol you gift to your date at the start).

    Original Episode

    Readers Advisory

    Coming up next: The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough


    Episode 111 – Stranger than Fanfiction Nov 19, 2018
    Show notes

    Stranger than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer

    Have you been wondering what Chris Colfer has been up to since Glee? Are you ready to read some self-insert celebrity real person fanfiction written by an actual celebrity? Honestly, you’re probably not, and we weren’t either, but we were happy to have Cory along for the ride with us as we read Stranger than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer. Have this podcast queued up to fill the awkward silence the next time you take a roadtrip with your best friends who don’t actually know anything about you!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Check, Please

    St. Louis City Museum

    844,739 Ways to Eat a Hamburger

    Fanfiction 101

    Candy Pairing: Cory says candy cigarettes, Kait says Nerds, Renata says a slushie.

    Coming up next: Having it All by Helen Gurley Brown (Part 2).

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 110 – Red Rising Nov 05, 2018
    Show notes


    Red Rising by Pierce Brown

    Did you ever read a science fiction book and think, “I wish I knew more about these characters’ bathroom usage?” If so, Red Rising by Pierce Brown is the book for you! Children’s librarian Anna (@opinionsbyanna) joined us for this miserable slog through a Martian Hunger Games with no carbs and no bathroom breaks. Listen now to find out into which Hogwarts House each Martian House would be sorted!

    Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains sexual assault, war, and general unpleasantness.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Red Rising Wiki – Caste Pyramid

    Red Rising Wiki – Houses

    My Brother, My Brother and Me: Cool Pee Book

    The West Wing – CJ Does The Jackal

    Candy Pairing: Anna says Atomic warheads, Kait says generic beef jerky, Renata says vomit flavored Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans.

    Coming up next: Stranger Than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 109 – Five Night’s At Freddy’s: The Silver Eyes Oct 22, 2018
    Show notes


    Five Nights at Freddy's: The Silver Eyes by Kira Breed-Wrisley and Scott Cawthon

    Happy Halloween! We faced the scariest thing imaginable for a bad books podcast: a video game tie-in novel that turned out to be actually like, really good? We know: we were shocked too. Almost as shocked as the teen protagonists of Five Nights at Freddy’s: The Silver Eyes by Kira Breed-Wrisley and Scott Cawthon were to discover all the horrors awaiting them at Freddy Fazbear’s Funtime Pizza. Rebecca Mahoney of The Bridge podcast joined us for one night of terror. Do not listen to this podcast on your overnight security guard shift: you need to keep your senses alert!

    Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains the death of a child, suicide, and some very scary animatronics.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Five Nights at Freddy’s on Steam

    Five Nights at Freddy’s on Wikipedia

    Five Nights at Freddy’s on GameFAQs

    PlayPals – Five Nights at Freddy’s

    Game Grumps – Five Nights at Freddy’s

    Markiplier – Five Nights at Freddy’s

    Polygon (feat Griffin and Justin McElroy) – Five Nights at Freddy’s 2

    Polygon (feat Griffin and Justin McElroy) – Five Nights at Freddy’s 3

    Candy Pairing: Kait says fruit flavored Tootsie rolls, Rebecca says Pop Rocks, Renata says birthday cake.

    Coming up next: Red Rising by Pierce Brown.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 108 – My Sweet Audrina Oct 08, 2018
    Show notes

    My Sweet Audrina by V. C. Andrews

    Out of the attic and into the rocking chair, we were joined by Sophie of Two Bossy Dames to read My Sweet Audrina by V. C. Andrews. We were grudgingly impressed by how effectively Andrews gaslit us, the readers, because by the end of this book we had no idea which end was up anymore. Play this episode at your next tea party/seance!

    Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains sexual assault, physical & emotional abuse of a child, ableism, gaslighting, miscarriage, and pretty much any other upsetting topic you could imagine.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Episode #17 – Flowers in the Attic

    Prisms and Bon-Bons: (Re)Reading V.C. Andrews’ My Sweet Audrina by Leila Roy

    A Review of the Worst Book in History by Erin Callahan

    Flowers in the Attic (The Appeal Thereof) by Sigrid Ellis

    Girl Catches Boyfriend Gaslighting Her Then Tricks Him Into Watching The Movie “Gaslight”

    Candy Pairing: Kait says a bowl full of marbles mistaken for jelly beans, Renata says two-year-old birthday cake, Sophie says prismatic rock candy.

    Coming up next: Five Nights at Freddy’s: The Silver Eyes by Kira Breed-Wrisley and Scott Cawthon.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 107 – 4th Anniversary Twilight Spectacular Sep 24, 2018
    Show notes

    D&D Players Handbook

    It’s our 4th anniversary! Traditionally, we’ve read a new book from the Twilight saga each year to celebrate our anniversary. But last year, we finished the saga, so this year we decided to create our own Twilight adventure. Danielle (of Hello World Tarot) ran a Twilight-themed D&D (5th edition) adventure for Kait, Renata, and Amy (of WTF Is America?). Listen now to hear what happens when a dwarf, a half-elf, and a dark elf walk into a Steaks & Cakes in Forks, Washington and roll for initiative. Please accept 20 points of gratitude for listening to us for all these years!

    Footnotes: Renata’s Wolverine character sheet

    Episode 82 – Breaking Dawn

    Episode 58 – Eclipse

    Episode 40 – Twilight: Life & Death

    Episode 31 – New Moon

    Episode 1 – Twilight

    Worst Bestsellers Drinking Game

    The Adventure Zone

    Critical Role

    Roll20

    Coming up next: My Sweet Audrina by V. C. Andrews.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 106 – Hope Never Dies Sep 10, 2018
    Show notes

    Hope Never Dies by Andrew Shaffer

    We teamed up with Anna and Alene from Bellwether Friends, our BFP (best friend podcast), to read about our nation’s greatest BFFs, Joe Biden and Barack Obama. Unfortunately for us, Andrew Shaffer’s political RPF mystery Hope Never Dies turned out to be light on the friendship and heavy-handed on the opioid crisis. Listen to this episode on your next Amtrak trip!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Watching President Obama Make a Bracelet for Joe Biden Gave Us Friendship Goals

    18 Times Barack Obama And Joe Biden Were #FriendshipGoals

    Obama and Biden are the ultimate crime-fighting team in ‘Hope Never Dies’

    Stop, You’re Killing Me: List of Real People Mysteries

    Fanfiction 101

    Candy Pairing: Alene says a melted Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, Anna says a Waffle House pecan waffle, Kait says White House M&Ms, Renata says almond milk.

    Coming up next: 4th Anniversary Spectacular!

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 105 – Sunset Island Aug 27, 2018
    Show notes

    Sunset Island by Cherie Bennett

    As the sun goes down on this year’s Flashback Summer, we pay a visit to Sunset Island by Cherie Bennet. We’re joined by Denise (@DezDono), editor of the Gailsone series and one of the few people who remembers this 90s Sweet Valley High knockoff series. Listen now to hear about the lifestyles of a secretly rich babysitter and her horny middle-class friends!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: TeenReads bio of Cherie Bennett

    Candy Pairing: Denise says Pop Rocks, Kait says OUCH Bubble Gum, Renata says a melting milkshake.

    Coming up next: Hope Never Dies by Andrew Shaffer.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 104 – House of Danger Aug 13, 2018
    Show notes

    House of Danger by R.A. Montgomery

    If you’d like to continue with Flashback Summer, turn to page 2 for Kait, Renata, and Becca’s discussion of House of Danger by R.A. Montgomery. If you’re curious about the Choose Your Own Adventure franchise’s crossover into board game territory, roll a die. If you’re curious about how a single dangerous house can contain aliens, ghosts, carnivorous plants, and counterfeiting chimpanzees, listen to this episode now.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: North & Henderson Choose Their Own Adventure for Special “Unbeatable Squirrel Girl” Issue

    The Seven Most F***ed up Real ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ Books

    House of Danger on BoardGameGeek.com

    Candy Pairing: Becca says banana Runts, Kait says a boardwalk candy store, Renata says a mall candy store.

    Coming up next: Sunset Island by Cherie Bennett.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 103 – Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark Jul 30, 2018
    Show notes

    Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz & Stephen Gammell

    Flashback Summer gathered around the campfire to read Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz & Stephen Gammell with our editor Becca. Put your hand in a bowl of peeled grapes and listen to hear how deeply upsetting Renata finds the formative stories of Kait’s childhood. Remember: the best way to make sure your friends know that you’re telling them a scary story is to end it with a scream!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: The 18 Most Egregious Art Replacements in Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

    I’m Glad They Changed The Art in Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

    Candy Pairing: Becca says a big toe, Kait says peeled grapes, Renata says peanut butter taffy.

    Coming up next: The House of Danger by R.A. Montgomery.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


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