The Upgraded Man

Latest Episodes:

Journal Entry: Done Anything for Yourself Today? | Ralph Brewer Sep 25, 2026

Show notes

Self care for men gets treated like a waste of time. Ralph B., founder of Help For Men and author of The Dead Bedroom Fix, tells Chris Anderson on The Upgraded Man why that guilt is wrong, and why the men who take a time out get more done.

Every Friday, the last guest leaves something in the Upgraded Man Journal and the next guest answers it. Thomas Edwards left this for Ralph: “God put you here to play one game in life that matters. And that’s your game. No one else’s. All you have to do is play and never stop playing.”

Ralph B. is known online as Dad Starting Over. He rebuilt his life after divorce, wrote the books that hundreds of thousands of men have picked up, and now works with men every day. This one is for the dad who is physically at the playground and mentally at the office.

In this episode:

What “play and never stop playing” means to a man who talks to serious men all day
When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? Ralph says most men cannot answer
Why playing with your kids while thinking about tomorrow’s meeting does not count
The inside jokes and little rituals with your wife that quietly disappear, and why that matters
How privileged it is to make a living in front of a glowing box, and why that should make you lighter, not heavier
Chris on learning to have more fun while building a business, raising kids, and coaching
The question Ralph leaves for the next guest: what have you done for yourself today?
Why men feel shame the moment they point inward, and where that came from
Why a time out for dad makes the next seven hours of work better, not worse

Questions this episode answers

Why do I feel guilty doing something for myself?

Ralph B. says somebody along the way taught you that anything pointed inward is a waste of time. It is not. There is nothing shameful about a time out for dad.

Does taking time for yourself actually help?

Yes. Ralph B. says every piece of data shows that a short time out makes the next seven hours of work more productive.

How do I stop being so serious all the time?

Ask yourself when you last had a real belly laugh, Ralph B. says. Then shut it all down for a bit and play. Chris Anderson says learning to have more fun has been one of his biggest lessons the last couple of years.

Find Ralph at helpformen.com. His book is The Dead Bedroom Fix. On social media, search Dad Starting Over on any platform.

The Upgraded Man is hosted by Chris Anderson. Follow the show, and send this one to a dad who has not laughed hard in a while.

#theupgradedman #selfcareformen #dadlife

This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.

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⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest

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Our mission at The Upgraded Man is simple — help men upgrade every area of their life through real conversations, honest stories, and actionable insight from men who have done the work.
Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Send Chris Anderson a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/upgradedmanpodcast

The content on The Upgraded Man is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not constitute professional legal, financial, medical, or therapeutic advice. Always consult a qualified professional before making decisions based on information discussed on this podcast.

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Best Moment: She Needs You to Say No | Paul Roseberry Sep 23, 2026

Show notes

How to say no to your wife without blowing up your marriage. Chris Anderson names the man listening who says yes to everything, and relationship coach Paul Roseberry talks straight to him for fifteen minutes. This is the best stretch of the full conversation, cut so a man can hear it on one drive home.

Paul Roseberry has coached nice guys for more than ten years, and he is also a standup comedian. He does not tell you to get louder. He tells you what to say, when to say it, and why she has been waiting on it.

In this episode:

The shift in one sentence: the thing you are afraid to do is the thing she needs you to do
Why she cannot relax or respect you until she has seen you say no
How to ease into leading again when she has been wearing the pants for years
The exact line Paul uses with his wife: "We don't treat each other that way"
Why "we" and "us" build common ground and "you and me" creates distance
Why a nice guy has to know his own strength to stay nice
The million dollars on the front porch, and why someone will take it
Four questions that tell you whether you enjoy your marriage or avoid it
Kind versus nice, and why only one earns respect
A warrior in a garden, not a gardener in a war

Questions this episode answers

How do I say no to my wife without starting a fight? Paul Roseberry says start with "we." His line is "We don't treat each other that way." It makes it mutual instead of you against her.

Why does my wife need me to say no? Paul says she has never seen you take the wheel, so she cannot trust you to drive. Once she sees it, she can relax, and that is when the relationship gets good.

What is the difference between kind and nice? Chris Anderson says nice gets pushed around. Kind respects people but does not go soft when someone crosses a line. Be kind, not nice.

Find Paul Roseberry at paulroseberry.com. He offers a free 20 minute call to anyone thinking about coaching. Email paul@paulroseberry.com. Watch him on YouTube at @paulroseberry_saves_society.

The Upgraded Man is hosted by Chris Anderson. Follow the show, and send this one to a man who has not said no in years.

#theupgradedman #howtosayno #marriageadvice

This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.

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⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest

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Why You Train Hard but Look the Same | Andrew Menechian Sep 21, 2026

Show notes

Andrew Menechian is the guy who trains the trainers. He is Head of Fitness at FitCommit AI, a former IFBB Australasian Men's Physique champion, a powerlifter with an unofficial Australian under 90 kilo raw deadlift record, and a coach who has mentored more than 100 personal trainers. He started teaching himself training at thirteen and has not stopped since.

And for five years, he was sure he was a hard gainer. He trained hard. He got stronger. He did not grow. Then an Olympic weightlifting coach looked at what he was eating and told him the truth. He gained ten kilos in two months. That is where this conversation starts, and it is the story of almost every man who is stuck.

In this episode:

- The hard gainer lie, and the real reason you train hard and look the same - The bowl of chicken and rice that finally showed a client what enough looks like - The client who could not lose weight until they found the olive oil. Two tablespoons, five meals a day, 1,500 hidden calories

- Keto, intermittent fasting, and carnivore, and what each one is really doing - Weight loss injections, where they help, and what nobody tells you about coming off them

- Why your metabolism adapts and a diet stalls at week ten even with perfect habits - Level one to level ten, and why the perfect program is the one you quit - The four imbalances that cause gym injuries, and why he does not recommend the barbell bench press unless you compete

- Flexibility versus mobility, and how to train for the body you want at sixty

- The three numbers to track every week so you know if your plan is working - Body dysmorphia. He was 108 kilos and thought he was small. Chris still sees the skinny kid

- The one thing he would leave every man with

- The Upgraded Man Journal entry he left for the next guest

Find Andrew at andrewmenechianfitness.com and @andrewmenechian on Instagram, X, and YouTube. His app is FitCommit AI at fitcommit.ai.

If you have been training for years and your body has not changed, this is the episode that tells you why.

The Upgraded Man is for men who refuse to stay complacent. New episodes every week. Subscribe, and if this one hits, send it to a man who needs it.

This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.

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⚡️ PODCAST: Subscribe and listen on all major platforms

⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest

⚡️ For support or business inquiries, email us ➡ chris@upgraded-man.com

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Upgraded Man Journal Entry: Thomas Edwards Jr on What He Survived Sep 18, 2026

Show notes

This is The Upgraded Man Journal. It is the ritual that runs through every episode of this show. One book, passed from guest to guest. Each man reads the question the last one left behind, answers it honestly on camera, and then leaves a new question for whoever sits down next. It is short on purpose. It is not short on weight.

Tim McDonald, a stage IV colorectal cancer survivor and screening advocate, left this one: what have you survived in life that you didn't call surviving in the moment?

Thomas Edwards Jr, author of The One Up Effect, does not hedge. He goes straight to his addiction, to the night it broke, and to a date he can still say without thinking. January 14, 2019.

In this Journal episode:

Tim McDonald's question, read by Chris Anderson, and why it lands the way it does
Thomas naming his addiction as the thing he survived without ever calling it that
What he means when he says he was legitimately dying
The friend who told him he had his own resurrection, and the moment that framing hit him
Why waking up sober felt like the end of his life instead of the start of one
What it is like when the escape you counted on is suddenly walled off, and the way he describes seeing it
Everyone counting him out, including his wife, the night she thought they were done
Being sober longer inside the marriage now than he was drinking in it
The new entry Thomas leaves for the next guest, on the one game you were put here to play
Why he says it twice, slower the second time, and who he wants to hear it
What Chris takes from it, and where that question goes next

Thomas Edwards Jr spent over a decade as The Professional Wingman, the relationship coach the media called the real life Hitch, before he stepped away and rebuilt his life around a different idea. He is sober, married, a dad, and he says it out loud so somebody else does not have to find out alone.

Get his book at theoneupeffect.com. To reach him directly or work with him, go to ThomasEdwardsJr.com.

If you know a man who is quietly surviving something right now, send this to him. Follow the show so we can keep making them.

This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.

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⚡️ PODCAST: Subscribe and listen on all major platforms

⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest

⚡️ For support or business inquiries, email us ➡ chris@upgraded-man.com

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Best Moment: A Sexless Marriage Isn't About Sex | Ralph Brewer Sep 16, 2026

Show notes

Sexless marriage is not really about sex. Ralph B., founder of Help For Men and author of The Dead Bedroom Fix, tells Chris Anderson on The Upgraded Man that the bedroom is the last thing to go cold, and by the time it does, something else has been dead for years.

Ralph B. is known online as Dad Starting Over. He rebuilt his life after a divorce that blindsided him, then wrote the book that hundreds of thousands of men in dead marriages have picked up. He talks to men who have gone twenty and thirty years without touching their wife, and he knows exactly what type of man ends up there.

This one is for the married guy who is doing everything right, and she is still on the other side of the couch.

In this episode:

Why a sexless marriage is the last symptom, not the problem, and what died first
The anxiously attached husband who needs her reassurance to feel okay, and why the bedroom becomes his whole scoreboard
"Moving the goalposts." She says she is exhausted, he takes over every chore, and she ends up on the couch on her phone while he scrubs toilets asking "do you notice me now"
Why stay at home dads have a worse record with dead bedrooms, and what that proves about chores
The anxious avoidant trap. Why the man who wants to talk keeps marrying the woman who wants to be left alone
What a man actually does. Back off, work on himself, and stop going to her for approval
The hard part. When you get better, she might leave, and why that is not a condemnation of getting better
Chris reads the Esther Perel line: fire needs air, desire needs space
Why couples who work together 24/7 lose the spark, and why a man needs a mission outside the marriage
Where all of this comes from. Look at her mom and dad. Look at yours.
The car that pulls to one side, and why you never get to take your hand off the wheel

Questions this episode answers

Why did my wife stop wanting sex? Ralph B. says the sex was the last thing to die, not the first. Something in the connection has been broken for a while, and the man usually did not notice until the bedroom went quiet.

Will doing more around the house fix a sexless marriage? No. Ralph B. says the anxious husband takes over everything, the goalposts keep moving, and it does not work. The problem is deeper than chores.

What do I do if my wife pulls away? Give her space and work on yourself, Ralph B. says. Stop going to her for approval and build a life with a mission in it. Chris Anderson adds the Esther Perel line: fire needs air, desire needs space.

Find Ralph at helpformen.com. His book is The Dead Bedroom Fix. On social media, search Dad Starting Over on any platform.

The Upgraded Man is hosted by Chris Anderson. Follow the show, and send this one to a married guy who thinks the chores are the problem.

#theupgradedman #sexlessmarriage #marriageadviceformen

This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.

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⚡️ PODCAST: Subscribe and listen on all major platforms

⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest

⚡️ For support or business inquiries, email us ➡ chris@upgraded-man.com

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How to Quiet the Voice in Your Head with Steve Barton Sep 14, 2026

Show notes

Chris Anderson sits down with Steve Barton, a high performance coach, creator of The Game of Ten, and co-author with his son Spencer of The Father, the Son, and the Aha Moment. Steve spent about thirty years running the floral business he took over from his father in Maine. He got certified through the Gestalt International Study Center in 2015 and trained in Miracle Minded Coaching with Marianne Williamson in 2021. He turned seventy the day before this record.

This one is for the man who is harder on himself than anyone else has ever been, and calls it high standards. Steve says most of us were trained to think our way out of every problem, and that is why the voice never stops. Then he does something most coaches will not do on a podcast. He hands Chris the actual rep, makes him do it on air, and it works.

In this episode:

Why 80 percent of what your mind says is junk from the past, and why fighting it makes it louder
Respond versus react, and why the only control you have is inside you
The six phrases Steve uses to quiet the mind in thirty seconds, done live with Chris
The first seven years, and how the voice got installed before you could argue with it
Chris on three kids under five and the fear of passing it down
Love with healthy boundaries. Sometimes love says yes, no, stay, or go.
Why Steve told his son they are not best friends
Chris's ribbon story, and the one question to ask a kid after he loses
You can get to nine by positive thinking. You cannot get to ten by thinking at all.
Is "it is what it is" wisdom or a cop-out
Forgive the thought, not the person
The man who did not know he had emotions until he was 36
Stop chasing shiny objects. You are the shiny object.
The Upgraded Man Journal, answering Dr. Tommy Rhee and leaving a line for the next guest

Find Steve at stevebartoncoaching.com. Download The Father, the Son, and the Aha Moment free at thegameof10.com. He posts every week on LinkedIn at Coach Steve Barton.

If you have never once questioned the voice that beats you up, this one is for you. Follow the show, and send this to a man who cannot shut his brain off.

This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.

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⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest

⚡️ For support or business inquiries, email us ➡ chris@upgraded-man.com

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Journal Entry: What Did You Survive? | Tim McDonald Sep 11, 2026

Show notes

Work smarter not harder is easy to say and hard to live, and stage 4 colorectal cancer survivor Tim McDonald had to get sick to learn it. In this Journal entry he reads what the last guest left him, agrees with half of it, and tells you plainly why the other half almost broke him.

At the end of every episode of The Upgraded Man there is a physical journal. The guest reads what the last guest wrote, sits with it, and writes something for the man who comes next. Same book every time, passed hand to hand. No prep. No script.

This week it is Tim McDonald. Six years ago an oncologist gave him three years to live. He is still here, and he hosts the Advocacy at Work podcast.

The entry he read was left by Nate Spangle, founder of Get Indiana: "Dream so big it makes others uncomfortable and be the hardest worker in every room."

Tim is all in on the first half. The second half he does not buy anymore, and he says so.

Here is what is in this one:

Why Tim McDonald says dream so big it makes others uncomfortable is right, and worth writing down
Why being the hardest worker in every room is the wrong goal, from a man who used to live it
First in and last out of the office, and what all that effort actually got him
Why working smarter is not doing less, it is getting more done
The question Tim wrote for the next guest, and why he thinks men in particular need to sit with it
Why most men never call the hard things they got through surviving

Questions this episode answers

Should I be the hardest worker in the room? Tim McDonald says no. He was first in and last out for years, and all it did was burn him out and stress him out. Working smarter let him do more.

What does work smarter not harder actually look like? Tim McDonald stopped measuring by hours in the office and started measuring by what got done. Smarter is more, without the burnout.

What is a good journal prompt for men? Tim McDonald left this one: What is something you survived that you never called surviving? He says men do not like to admit they survived a lot, and that is exactly why the question matters.

Find Tim at advocacyatwork.com and on LinkedIn at Tim A. McDonald.

The entry Tim read was left by Nate Spangle of Get Indiana, getindiana.com, @natespangle.

The Upgraded Man is hosted by Chris Anderson. Follow the show, and send this one to the man who is proud of being the first one in the office every morning.

#theupgradedman #worksmarternotharder #mensmentalhealth

This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.

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⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest

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Upgraded Man Best Moment: Thomas Edwards Jr. Sep 10, 2026

Show notes

This is a Best Moment episode. One section pulled from a longer conversation because it stands completely on its own.

Ask a man how he feels and you will usually get one of two answers. Fine, or nothing. Then something small happens and the anger shows up out of nowhere. Thomas Edwards Jr says that is not a character problem. It is a skill nobody taught him.

Thomas is the author of The One Up Effect and spent over a decade as The Professional Wingman, the coach the media called the real life Hitch. In this stretch of his conversation with Chris Anderson, he lays out the ladder most men never climb, and then he does the part almost nobody does. He hands you the actual sentence to say out loud.

What Chris and Thomas get into:

The three levels: emotional awareness, emotional literacy, and emotional intelligence, and why most men stall out on the first one
Why a man who cannot put words to a feeling defaults to anger every single time
What is usually underneath the anger, and why you can be sad without being diagnosed with something
King David as the model. A warrior who wrote songs, danced in the street, and cried out loud
Are you playing your own game, or still running a program somebody handed you years ago
Why you should not share every single thing with your wife, and where the line actually sits
The exact words to use when you are processing something and not ready to talk about it yet
Why he calls it authenticity instead of vulnerability, and why that word matters
Having emotions is not weak. Letting your behavior get run by them is
Why most of what you react to has almost nothing to do with what just happened
What changes at home when your wife can hold space for it, and what to do if she cannot yet

If this section hits, go listen to the full conversation with Thomas Edwards Jr. Get his book at theoneupeffect.com. To reach him directly or work with him, go to ThomasEdwardsJr.com.

Share this with a man who has been told he is always angry. Follow the show so we can keep making them.

This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.

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⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest

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Training After 40 with Dr. Tommy Rhee, Sports Chiropractor Sep 07, 2026

Show notes

Chris Anderson sits down with Dr. Tommy Rhee, a sports chiropractor who has spent nearly twenty years working on some of the most abused bodies in professional sport. Olympians, NFL, NBA, NHL and MLB players, PGA and LPGA golfers, UFC fighters and pro wrestlers. He is the founder and CEO of RheeGen and the author of The Future of Regenerative Medicine.

This one is for the man who is doing everything he was told to do. He trains. He eats decent. He is proud of the effort. And he still feels worse today than he did five years ago, and he cannot work out why. Tommy gives the honest answer, and then he gives the fix, in plain language, with a workout you can run in fifteen minutes.

Important: this episode is not medical advice. Talk to your own doctor before you change anything about your training, your recovery, or your health.

In this episode:

Why you can still keep up with 25 year olds, and why you cannot do it day after day
The one thing most men skip that would solve half their problems on its own
What heart rate variability actually measures, and what a tracker is really telling you
The 100 air squat test you can run tonight, no gym and no gear
What DOMS is, why you hurt two days later, and how to make it go away faster
The exact workout pairing for a man in his 30s and 40s, heavy squat straight into a box jump
Why fifteen honest minutes beats an hour of going through the motions
What stem cells and peptides actually are, explained like you are a fifth grader
What happens to your muscle when you cut food hard and do not train
The two biggest drivers of inflammation, and why one of them is not food
What fight or flight does to blood flow in your arms and legs when the stress never turns off
What a hyperbaric chamber actually does, and what it did to his resting heart rate
The science fiction that is already sitting in a clinic today

Dr. Tommy Rhee is a Doctor of Chiropractic, not a physician. Find him at rheegen.com and physicalchiro.com, on Instagram at @dr.rheetommy, and on LinkedIn at Dr. Tommy Rhee.

Follow the show so you do not miss an episode, and send this one to a guy who has started blaming his age.

This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.

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⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest

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Upgraded Man Journal Entry: Nate Spangle Sep 04, 2026

Show notes

At the end of every episode of The Upgraded Man there is a physical journal. The guest reads what the last guest wrote, sits with it, and then writes something down for the man who comes next. Same book every time, passed hand to hand. No prep. No script.

This week it is Nate Spangle, founder of Get Indiana and host of the Get IN. podcast. He built a media company out of a three thousand dollar truck he did not own when he announced the idea, and he is the first guest to write in the journal in person.

The entry he read was left by Larry Hagner, founder of The Dad Edge: "The definition of hell is being on your deathbed and meeting the man you could have become."

He sits with it before he says a word. Then he goes somewhere honest.

Here is what comes out of it:

Why Nate says you are never too old, and the three excuses he kills in about ten seconds
The one thing he believes is actually holding most men back, and it is not talent
What really turned him into a man he can look at in the mirror, and why it was not a book, a coach, or a plan
How he uses the worst thing that ever happened to him without letting it define him
The only standard he holds himself to on a given day, which is being closer than he was yesterday
The advice he gave on stage that he now believes is the whole secret
The test he runs on himself every night when his head hits the pillow
The entry he wrote for the next guest, read out loud

If you have been telling yourself you are too late, too old, or not smart enough, this one is about four minutes and it takes that excuse away from you.

Find Nate:

getindiana.com @natespangle on every platform His show: Get IN. with Nate Spangle

The entry Nate read was left by Larry Hagner of The Dad Edge, thedadedge.com.

New episodes of The Upgraded Man drop three times a week. Full guest episodes on Monday, the best moment from a past guest on Wednesday, and the Journal on Friday.

This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.

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⚡️ PODCAST: Subscribe and listen on all major platforms

⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest

⚡️ For support or business inquiries, email us ➡ chris@upgraded-man.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.