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    Business

    The Uncurated Life Podcast

    Have you ever been cruising Instagram or Pinterest and found yourself comparing your life to the beautiful people online? Don’t lie, you know you do this. It is really easy to forget that what we see online is only part of someone’s story, and a real, complicated person exists behind the camera. I’m interested in exploring the reality of life outside of the algorithm, both to remind us that everyone out there is human, but also, to remind us that we aren’t alone.

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    MY 2022 SELF CARE LIST | 148 Feb 07, 2022
    Show notes

    My 2022 word of the year is "replenish," in large part because I recognize that I need to replenish my personal life, my family life and my health, both physical and mental. Today I thought I'd talk through some of the self care things I am planning to incorporate this year to help me live into this whole replenishment situation. • DISCLAIMER Colorful words may be used. don't be alarmed. • NEWSLETTER https://view.flodesk.com/pages/61525a85337f1c2aacf52f6d • Etsy Shop is open! https://www.etsy.com/shop/CGBPrints • FIND ME ON ALL THE THINGS Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/cindyguentertbaldo YouTube - https://youtube.com/c/CindyGuentertBaldo Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/llamaletters/ Discord - https://discord.gg/Rwpp7Ww Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/llamaletters/ Website - www.cindyguentertbaldo.com • STUFF I MENTIONED My 2022 Goals - https://youtu.be/1_nVEMzrmq8 Inquiries - cindy@cindyguentertbaldo.com TRANSCRIPTION It's so easy to let other shit in our lives takeover while our own fulfillment and happiness and, and care falls by the wayside. Today, I'm going to be reflecting on my 20, 22 self care list in ways that I am going to replenish myself while I do all of the other things in my life that I am required to do that. I need to do that. I, that I want to do. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the uncurated life podcast. I'm Cindy Gunter, Baldo. And today we are reflecting on some self care and a big reason. I want to talk about this. Well, there's two big reasons for one. Um, part of it is because I think that sometimes this, the idea of self care gets all sort of out of whack on the Instagrams where it's, you know, things like get a facial and go on vacation, all that, which is all well and good. But. I think sometimes self care is doing what we need to make sure that we are leading the life or like a life that is as UN fettered is not the boredom. Maybe an burdened with excessive things like taking care of yourself in a way to prevent certain types of burnout or certain types of pain or certain types of injury from happening to you so that you can go through your life. Uneventful, maybe. I don't know. Anyway, I feel like some of the ways self-care has talked about just feels like both privileged and. Super hokey. And I want to talk about some of the things I want to focus on this year that I know will be more nourishing to my body and my mind. And secondly, the other big reason is that while I am a firm believer in serving others, like I am an over volunteer. I mean, shit. Like I, I fully believe that we can find so much peace in serving others. The cliche of not being able to pour from an empty pitcher, it does. It's a cliche for a reason. It holds true. Right? And this is really smacked me in the face this year. This past year, my life has been very up ended in 2021. Aside from just aside from the global pandemic, which in and of itself has appended so many of our, all of our lives in different ways. But this past year we had to move from California to Denver, uh, because of my husband's job. W our custody situation changed dramatically when the kids decided to come with us. Full-time one of my kids who was already struggling with mental health and physical health problems. Both of those things really spiraled this year. And so, so much of the second half of my year was devoted to them and the needs that they. On top of that, you know, I'm in kidney failure and the doctors appointments and everything else, it's just, it's become so easy. And I've said this here on the podcast and on my YouTube channel, it's been so easy for my life to just be work and doctor's appointments and that's it. And it's, it's just gotten really hard. Things have been, I'm like running on fumes. It feels like now believe me, when I say I know I was needed in all of those circumstances and others that I'm not even going to bring up here. Cause I don't, that's not what this book. I don't want it to go on for that long, but. Those situations needed me and I would not have made other choices given the chance. I knew that I needed to be here for my family. I knew that I needed to be here for my husband here for my kids here in our move and taking care of myself the best I can. I recognize I was doing the best I could in those circumstances, but that MTS pitcher situation, the cliche I was talking about it's me right now. I'm dry, dry a fucking. My picture is, is fucking dusty. So this year a big piece of my goals has had to do with replenishing my life, which is why replenish is actually my word of the year. And I'll link the video where I talk about my 20, 22 goals in the show notes. Uh, it's, it's really important to me this year that I, that I try to, to. I keep coming in the words, replenish and nourish are the words I keep using, but they're really kind of what I want to use because I, if another crisis happens right now, I don't, I mean, I'm sure I'll rise to the occasion, but I am so close to burning out in so many different areas of my life. And I know when I hit burnout really hard, it takes a major toll on my health mentally and physically, and currently, especially with my physical health. There, isn't a lot of. For that, like my physical health is already on a thread to begin with. So burning out really hard. It would just be a major problem and it would impact more than just me. So this self self-care list we're going to talk about today is really. Just it's a list of ideas for me to like, for me specifically, to talk through them with you, but also to give you some thoughts as to things you might want to try and incorporate into your life, this. So that we can all like take better care of ourselves. I also have a free, like little printable infographic thing. If you sign up for my email newsletter this month with some of these ideas on it, some ideas for you. If you're already on the newsletter, it's going to come. I believe today, today is the first Monday of the month. So it should be in your inboxes today. But if you are new, then go sign up for the newsletter and you'll get it as a little bonus. Whatever. Anyway, let's talk about this. Let's talk about my self care list and I invite you to think about your own ideas while I'm talking about this and share them on social media. You can email me Cindy at Cindy country, baldor.com. You can respond to the email newsletter that goes. I see all of those responses, or you can post it on Instagram, in your stories and tag me at @llamaletters with some self-care ideas. So we can kind of co like collate them and have a big list because that would be. So let's talk about it, right? First of all, and I'm kind of thinking about these in terms of buckets. So the first bucket is to care for my physical health and this, this is probably the easiest one for me to figure out because I am in kidney failure and I have very specific things I need to be doing in order to be compliant for transplant. In order for me to be feeling as good as I can when like, my, my average is not very good, but I don't feel very good on the average. But even that average, sometimes it can be hard to reach when I'm not doing the things I'm supposed to be doing. So. It's it's amazing when you're this deep into a chronic illness, when tiny fuck-ups can make you feel so bad for so long, it really makes you think about that. And you forget when you were back in the day, when you might've felt better on a normal basis, how you took for granted the little fuck-ups and you could do that. And it wouldn't like kill you. Like, even if you're not, even if you're just you're you're fully, you're fully health. And you don't have a chronic illness. If you are older than the age of say 30, you probably can recognize that you, if you try to have like a night out drinking with your friends, the way you did, when you were 21, the recovery period is so much longer like two drinks, and you're hung over for like a day, as opposed to before where you could pound drinks and feel like sprightly the next morning, because you're getting older and your body just can't handle it as much as. Well, for me, it's like that, but it's with all sorts of small things. If I eat three McDonald's singular, McDonald's French fries. I swell up and I feel like I'm going to die for the rest of the evening. Like, that's the kind of thing that I need to keep an eye out for. So for my caring, for my physical health bucket on my list is making sure, taking my meds consistently taking my blood pressure every day, which is a big one that I'm still struggling. Even into this year, getting enough water, giving up soda, going outside every day, going for walks every day, getting on my Peloton on a regular basis, all of these things while they sound just like health maintenance things for me are truly self care because a by doing them, I am ensuring that I'm going to feel as good as I can on any given day and B uh, it helps me so that. Um, when it comes time for transplant, not only am I in as good enough of constitution as I can be for transplant, but also the transplant center will have no reason to thumbs down me. There's all these, you know, articles in the paper about people being denied, kidney transplants or heart transplants, because they refuse to get the COVID vaccine. And all I have to say to that is motherfucker. Do you know anything about organ transplant? It's not just the COVID vaccine, a it's all vaccines B uh, It's a. That's all vaccines. And if you're not compliant, not just with vaccines, but with everything they tell you to do, then they won't do it because getting a transplant not only requires the, the gift of life that is the organ, but so many people and so much time and resources go into a transplant that they do like, and there's a limited supply of both organs and. The teams to actually perform the transplants that they want to make sure the organs are going to the people who are going to make sure they take care of it. Anyway, as a tangent point, being caring for my physical health, it's all the basic habits I know I should be doing, and I just need to be consistent. Next is caring for my mental health and this year, a big piece of that is going to be in reclaiming time for myself. So time off time off that I take with my kids or my husband or both, but also time to take off just for me, like to go have a cup of coffee on my own, or to go to a movie, or I'm probably not going to a movie it's still pandemic time, but like doing things for me just on my own that are not working like. Cultivating hobbies that have nothing to do with work like acrylic painting. I'm working on some for my living room right now and cooking with my walk. Although I haven't been doing that much since my, I had a couple of falls recently and I jacked my hands up and I just haven't had the, the nerve to, to cook with the walk, but that's on my list, you know? Uh, the houseplants I'm trying to deal with that will actually show up in another bucket and prioritizing personal planning over work planning. That for me is probably the biggest piece of self-care that I've already been successful with. And it's already starting to show some subtle results is sitting down every morning with my coffee and pulling my personal planner out first. And thinking about my day outside of work has been pretty epic so far, and I'm using. And I mean, epic, like it's been really great so far in forcing me to really focus on my life as a whole, not just work, which is something I was not doing this past six months. Or even fucking that six years, Jesus, but like it's, it's felt really good. I noticing some changes just in my home life, in terms of the way I'm present in my home life. So that in and of itself of all of them is the biggest piece of this, but really prioritizing time for myself as well as time with my kids. And my husband has been is, is already like high on my list for this year and is going to stay high on my list for the. The next category is my spiritual health. Now I am not someone who believes in, in, in like gods or a God or whatever. I am a humanist, but I'm also a, you, you and I have really been missing my, you you community. I. Had really taken a step away from it during the pandemic because of my kidney function dropping so drastically, I've been so involved with it before being on the board and everything else. But between between feeling like shit and also like everything going virtual, I wound up taking a strong step. Even before we found out about the Denver move. My step back had been pretty, pretty hardcore. Now that we've moved, uh, we have a new, you, you congregation we'd like to start visiting, but with the Omicron variant, they'd gone back to virtual services. And I was I'm, I'm really not a fan of the virtual services just in general. So I wasn't sure, but I'm going to start attending those at least once a month. And I really want to start introducing myself to people. My hope is by the end of, by the end of this year to be. In their choir, like to have joined the congregation and then joined the choir, assuming choir stuff is going to happen. You know? So that is one way to really care for my spiritual health, but in other and other, another aspect of that is reading. I actually have a bunch of books on my Kindle waiting for me to read them. And some of them are fiction. You know, I'm going to read new fantasy series this year, blah, blah, blah. But a big piece of that is reading books that fill me. Spiritual cup and the books in that category tend to be books sort of in a few different veins. Right? I have some books I want to read that are about, they're like deep dives into different aspects of religion, which for me, the seeking of knowledge about other faiths, other religions, I've always been a big piece of my spiritual life. Not because I believe in the things that these books say, but because I like to draw my own bits of wisdom from different faith traditions, even if the dogma of them is not something that I'm super into, but also really learning about other religions is something that really gives me a lot of spiritual nourishment. I don't know if that makes sense, but it makes sense to me, the. There's two other kinds of chunks of books, sort of in this category. Another chunk of books and books in this category are books that are kind of social justice, a bent of social justice. I've got a handful of those that I really want to read. Um, and then finally, the final kind of chunk of those is some books specifically written. There's an author named Kate bowler. She's a minister and a teacher, I believe at duke university. And I've read one of her books. It was called. Looking at my Kindle app because it was called, uh everything's. Um, Whereas it, everything happens for a reason. And I was like, oh fuck you. Right. But then the subtitle is, and other lies I've loved. And this is a great book that she wrote about her feelings when she was diagnosed with cancer. She has another book that just came out. Called, uh, no cure for being human and other truths. I need to hear so that one's on my list of books to read as well as this goes to the more history of other faith traditions. But she's got a book called blessed, which is about the, um, the history of the prosperity gospel and that one I've started, but I haven't finished…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    Things I've Learned in 42 Years | 147 Jan 31, 2022
    Show notes

    Today is my 42nd birthday and while most of the time I have NO idea what I'm doing, today I'm sharing 42 things I've learned in 42 years! DISCLAIMER Colorful words may be used. don't be alarmed. NEWSLETTER https://view.flodesk.com/pages/61525a85337f1c2aacf52f6d Etsy Shop is open! https://www.etsy.com/shop/CGBPrints FIND ME ON ALL THE THINGS Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/cindyguentertbaldo YouTube - https://youtube.com/c/CindyGuentertBaldo Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/llamaletters/ Discord - https://discord.gg/Rwpp7Ww Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/llamaletters/ Website - www.cindyguentertbaldo.com Inquiries - cindy@cindyguentertbaldo.com TRANSCRIPTION Hello, everybody. If you know me at all, then you know that I live for my birthday purely because of getting to sing the it smell birthday song from Thor, Ragnarok, which I will leave linked down below if you have not heard it. But yes, today is my birthday. I'm actually recording this a little ahead of time. So it's not my birthday yet, but when you hear this, it will be my 42nd birthday. And so today, My myself, Cindy Guentert-Baldo. I'm going to be leaving you with 42 pieces of wisdom things I've learned in the past 42 years that I thought would be interesting to pass on. Some may be fun. Some may be deep, some may be obvious, but yes, 42 things I have learned in 42 years starting right about me. Number one wear sunscreen. Even if you don't plan on going outside, make sure it goes on the back of your ears. Make sure it goes down your neck. Make sure it goes behind your ears. If you wear your hair up in a ponytail, make sure it goes on the back of your neck. Don't neglect your hands. Sunscreen. My dudes so important. Number two stretchy jeans can save you from an accident. If you have mom, bladder, kidney disease, and a sudden urge to go to the bathroom. I swear if I don't have to pee. And then I'm within like sneezing distance of a bathroom, suddenly my bladder goes into overdrive. And sometimes unbuttoning your flight takes too long. So there is magic in stretchy jeans when you are basically running to the bathroom to try and not pee your pants. And I know you're like, but Cindy, what about using like the ask asked it gasket the toilet cover no dudes there isn't time for that. If I'm trying not to pee, I will just have to live with like squirrely fucking. Stuff on my butt cheeks, because it's better that than the PB in my pants. Number three, plastic glasses, frames, beat metal glasses frames any day of the week and twice on Sunday, especially if you're allergic to nickel, both because I've known. At least in my experience with metal glasses frames that they snap in the middle way more often, my dad used to solder my fucking glasses together in high school. The other thing is that if you're allergic to nickel and you have metal frames, like the bows of your glasses are metal. If they rub on your face, you will get the worst fucking rash that then develops into like an open situation. It's awful. And the way we dealt with that was paint my glasses. Clear nail Polish, except that also wears off. And then the situation happens again. I used to think plastic glasses were heinous because the first pair I ever had made me look like Sally, Jesse Raphael when I was a fucking fourth grader. And now I'm like plastic glasses all the way there. They're the best of right. Nothing's going to ever give me a goddamn nickel allergy reaction on the side of my face when I have to wear them to see, I sound like I'm ranting. I'm not ranting. And these are just things I've learned. I swear. If you're going to be prone to impulse shopping, if impulse shopping is something that you, you, you tend to do on a regular basis, steer clear of trader Joe's during the holiday season. I'm not even going to talk about how I got suckered in this year. And I used to work there and I know better number five. And this is one that I learned after being kind of a douche and unknowing douche, but a douche nonetheless, don't wear perfume to acquire. Or to anywhere where you're, I mean, I know this is pandemic time. We're not really standing in like close quarters with anyone right now, but you never know who you're going to trigger with like a heavy scent and inquire, especially when you're breathing in like large gulps of breath while you're singing. The worst thing is to trigger an asthma situation or something with somebody. So just skip the perfume on choir rehearsal days. Number six. Some sushi restaurants are more heavy on the wasabi when they make their new Geary. So then the Gary is like the piece of rice at the chunk of little, little, little rice situational. Bundle. And then there's a piece of fish on top. Right. And what they do is they use a little bit of a Sabi to kind of like glue the fish to the rice, but it also adds flavor. Well, the place we used to go to didn't use very much wasabi. So I didn't even know there was wasabi there. Good with spicy things. We went to a different restaurant where they used a lot more with Sabi, and I thought somehow my rice had been dipped in chemicals and I was freaking out only to find out no, there was just more wasabi. So just know that someplace, if you think your, your new Geary's tasting a little off and you're not used to the wasabi, that's probably it. Of course it also might be the fish being gross. So keep an eye out for that. Number seven, getting into arguments while driving makes that argument way more intense than it needs to. I don't think I have to say any more for that. I think that is self-explanatory number eight. The most important part of a relationship is communication. Not sexual energy, not things you have in common, not. Any of that shit it's communication because there are days when there isn't going to be any sexual energy. And there are days when you're not going to be feeling very into anything. But if you are able to communicate how you're feeling with the person or people that you're in a relationship with, whether it's romantic or it's platonic communication is the thing that keeps relationships going. Communication can help you with apologizing. It can help you with explaining yourself all sorts of things. So if you're going to work on developing anything in a relationship that you really want to solidify, the communication is a big piece of that. And that's something that I have learned in recent years, and I am so grateful to have learned it and to be with somebody who not only is good at communicating themselves, but as good at helping me communicate when I'm not in a good communicating space, which is pretty much anytime I'm upset. Number nine when somebody tells you who they are, believe them. Now, this applies not only to assholes is assholey around the internet, but this also applies to people who are telling you their pronouns or their gender identity or their sexuality fucking believe them. Don't tell them it's a phase. Don't think it's a phase. Just believe them until they tell you otherwise. And they may never tell you otherwise because they may, this is my, this is who they are. And as a side note to that, This shit is fluid people evolve. They change, they come to greater understandings of who they are, and if somebody tells you their pronouns or something one day, and then later on, they adapt or. They grow, they change. Those are none of those are really great words for this, but they like, they come to fuller understanding of who they are and their pronouns might change. That doesn't mean it was a phase. It means they came to a fuller understanding and you should celebrate that. I have no patience for people who take issue with people's that gender identity or pronouns number 10, any cuss word can be better by adding on E R Y fuckery. Bullshittery all sorts of shit. Like. Yeah, yeah. Country. Oh yeah. That's good too. Yeah. Dickery wankery. Yeah, just keep trying at T just do it. My husband thinks I am whack as fuck, but I tell him that some Whakarae to accuse me of that. Number 11, finding a physical activity that doesn't hurt and is at least somewhat fun. Can like exercise a little less annoying. I am not saying you might enjoy it. I don't fully enjoy exercising, but when I find things that I actually. Like find a little fun and they don't make me feel like, I mean, they might make me feel in pain in the sense that I worked out, but not like causing me joint pain or like problems with my kidneys or whatever, finding something that does it suck ass for me. And doesn't like actively make me hurt. It does have. Now, I'm not going to say that exercise is never going to be a, not annoying for me. Right? Like I'm not somebody who probably will ever love exercise, but I have found exercise that I can do on a somewhat regular basis because it met those qualifications number 12. And I'm saying this with my own personal experience on both ends of the spectrum, ex smokers are probably the most judgy people at current smokers. It's, I don't understand it. If your next smoker, you know how hard it was to quit, like give him a fucking break. Jesus. And I used to be that judgy. I'm not that judge yet. Number 14 toddler feet look like little pork chops with toes. If you know a toddler or like a nine month old baby in your life, look at their feet. Pork chops with toes. Swear to God. It's, you know, they're getting older when the pork chop with till phenomenon goes away. Yeah. That's, that's a sad moment. Number 15 speaking of babies, don't spend hella money on cute baby clothes. Whether you are somebody who is pregnant, somebody who is adopting somebody, who's going to become a parent for the first time of a baby shaped child, somebody who is giving gifts to somebody else who is going to become a parent. Don't spend hella money on cute baby clothes. They're going to grow out of them before they ever come close to being worn out or even worn at all. They're going to puke all over them. Who explosions at the back of their diaper, just spend money on bulk bulk little sleepers, things that they can wear that are inexpensive, and that you can just throw a bunch of them in the washer because these babies go through way more clothes in terms of growing fast. And in terms of grossing them out, like babies can be changed multiple times a day when they're little purely because of how nasty they are. If you spend hella money on cute baby clothes, you're doing it for the fucking gram. Even if you don't know that you're doing it for the. There's other things to spend money on for babies like diapers seriously. And I guess to complete this little trifecta of baby related things, although to be fair, I can't remember. I might have more pop up later, regardless. Number 16, never for the love of all that's holy assume someone is pregnant and say something about it ever. I don't care if the baby is coming out of. Don't fucking say anything until they say something first, because it fucking sucks to be asked when you're do, when you've just given birth three days ago, and you still look six months pregnant because that's the thing nobody warns you about. Or when you have polycystic kidney disease and you look fucking pregnant, but what you're pregnant with is diseased ass fucking kidneys, or maybe somebody who just happens to have a belly and isn't trying to get pregnant or somebody who happens to have a. Is trying to get pregnant and having trouble with it. Just don't do it. Don't do it. I don't understand why people think that's a good idea. And as a bonus for this one also don't touch people's pregnant bellies without permission. And I'm hoping that this has died off because of COVID. But if it hasn't, oh my God fucking don't touch someone unless they let you touch them. They give you permission. Oh my God. Sorry. Number 17. If your vacuum is not sucking well, but heal and you live with any sort of long-haired people or pets, check the brush to see how much of a furball has grown there. I swear, I am logging. Everyone in our house is lawn care. The only people that aren't long haired are the pets. They're not people, you know what I mean? And Lucy's getting super plush because of the winter. And yet I still get like question mark Pekichu face when I try to vacuum. And the vacuum is not sucking as much as it should. And then Jesse will flip it over and get his razor blade out and cut the giant furball off of it just as. That's probably the first thing you should check. There may be problems with the vacuum, but there's always a chance that a giant fucking Tribble has grown inside of your vacuum cleaner. It needs to be removed, and I'm not going to do the removing because it grosses me out to touch it. But Jesse does. Thankfully communication is the key to any successful relationship. Number 18 salt, your pasta water. One pinch is not enough salt. You want to add quite a bit of salt to really add the flavor to the pasta. I'm going to caveat this with, I'm supposed to start reducing the amount of salt I'm cooking with. So this pains me to say, but it actually is true. Like salting your pasta water really does help number 19, and this may be a personal opinion, but I don't think I've met anybody in recent years who disagrees with me? Red apples, red delicious apples are the worst apples. I don't understand the point of red delicious apples besides being nasty. And on that note, number 20. Swiss cheese is the red apple of cheese. Fight me on that. Number 21. Earplugs can be a godsend. If you sleep with somebody who snores, just get this mushy ones. If you have the harder ones, they're uncomfortable. I swear your ears will not envelop this mushy ones. This mushy ones can be comfortable and they also can just save your sanity. If you were having trouble sleep. Also, if you're happy, if you sleep with somebody who snores have no problems, shaking them and waking them up to get them to change their position often that'll help too. But earplugs man, they help. Number 22, grease two is the superior grease. End of story. I can go on an entire podcast about this, but I'm not going to right now. Number 23, the sniff method of checking on. Yeah, it can be necessary. Right. But it is always risky. Know what risks you're taking when you do the sniff test of laundry, especially, especially if it is not your laundry. And it is the laundry of your 15 year old son, number 24. If you have gas, I'm not taking my car gas and talking about, you know, the gas that makes you go fart in your stomach area, in your abdomen. And it's not moving. Get on your hands and knees and stick your butt up in the air. You may look ridiculous. And if you do this in front of teenagers, they will laugh at you, but it will help the farts move. I promise you. It also helps us sciatica 25 and I have not tested this. So this is allegedly, but the internet did tell me that if you have the hiccups, you can stop them by sticking a finger up your ass. I have not tested this to be clear, I have done the eat a spoonful of sugar, and that is sometimes helped, but apparently sticking your finger up your ass can help with the hiccups. If this has ever worked for you. Let me know. I promise to keep you anonymous. This number 26. When someone asks you, if you want to see something. Think long and hard about your answer before you open your mouth, don't do…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    DARE | 146 Jan 24, 2022
    Show notes

    If you were a kid in the 80s or 90s chances are you've got some memories of the DARE program… and those memories might not be the best. Today I'm chatting about my experience with the DARE program, the changes they've made in recent years, and more.

    • DISCLAIMER

    Colorful words may be used. don't be alarmed.

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    DARE - https://dare.org/

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    TRANSCRIPTION

    Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the uncurated life podcast. Today is going to be kind of a shorter episode. Originally. I was going to do a deep dive, but I realized I don't really want to do a deep dive on this subject. What I would rather do is kind of tell you my experience. And then hear back from you, some of your experiences, and then perhaps I will do a follow-up episode sharing some of those experiences.

    And the subject I'm talking about is the dare program. Now, if you grew up in the eighties, the nineties, you went to elementary school in those times in the United States, chances are, you have had experience with the dare program. So, what is it? Well from the Wikipedia, you know, the most solid source of information.

    Dare program materials from 1991. Describe it as a drug abuse prevention education program, designed to equip elementary school children with skills for resisting peer pressure to experiment with tobacco, drugs, and alcohol. It was created as a part of the war on drugs in the United States with the intention of reducing the demand for drugs through education that would make drug use unappealing.

    The program was conducted by uniformed police officers who visited classes. And so my memory of dare is exactly that, uh, uniform police officers coming into my elementary school classroom to scare the shit out of us when it came to drugs, tobacco, alcohol, et cetera. Now, aside from the fact that the war on drugs is based in some extreme bullshit, which can be an entire other podcast series on its own.

    And I'm sure there is some. Th the concept of police officers coming into classrooms to scare the shit out of kids to, uh, not use drugs, not only was it scary, it also didn't work. Like one of the things that was seen with dare that I noticed in my research was that often it would go up with kids later.

    Anyway. I had been thinking about doing an episode on the dare program for a while now. And then the other day I was walking to Ulta or something to pick up an order. And there were some people out there at a table, soliciting donations for dare, and they came up to me and they're like, hi, would you like to donate to dare?

    And I'm like, dare. And she's like, the look on her face was like, oh God, not again. Like the, these were younger people. These people could have. More than like early twenties, but they were like, oh God, not another person who had a bad experience with dare, but she was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's better now.

    It's different. And I'm like, ah, I'm going to pass anyone I kept going. Right. But it made me curious as to this new revamped version of dare. So looking online. I found this quote that said it's not an anti-drug program, says Michelle Miller day co-developer of the new curriculum and a communications researcher at Chapman university.

    It's about things like being honest and safe and responsible. Even so keeping it real, which is the new name of dare has reduced substance abuse and maintained anti-drug attitudes over time among students in early trials and achievement that largely alluded the former iteration of the program. So maybe it's getting better.

    I don't know, suffice it to say that when I mentioned a dare on live stream, relatively recently, a bunch of you popped in with your own experiences with dare. So, what I would love is for I'm going to, I'm going to give you my quick experience as to what happened with me with dare, and then I'm gonna end this.

    It's going to be, like I said, a very short episode, but what I'm calling to you, your call to action. If you will, is to let me know, you can email me Cindy at Cindy Gunter, baldo.com, or you can message me or post to Instagram stories at Lama letters. You can. Let me know in the comments of any video that you want to just use hashtag dare podcast.

    So I can find it, but let me know your experiences with dare and whether or not you're comfortable with me sharing them in an upcoming episode to talk about like how dare has impacted a lot of us, anecdotally speaking, just let me know. You'll find links and shit in the description box or the fucking show notes.

    The thing the podcasts have. Without further ado. My tale of dare. I was a very neurotic kid that shouldn't surprise anybody, but I was very neurotic when I was kid my parents. And I can talk about them all I want to, because they're both dead. Now. My parents were super into smoking pot. They also tried other drugs as well, but pot was their main kind of situation.

    And when I was a kid, I didn't really recognize what they were doing for the longest time. I knew they were smoking. I didn't know what they were smoking. I maybe I assumed it was tobacco. My grandpa smoked pipe out of a tobacco and my dad smoked cigarettes. So maybe it made sense that like the joints in the pipes, they were smoking out of what was tobacco, you know?

    Cause I was also clueless, but the point is. It's when I was in fifth graders. So the dare officers came to my elementary school and they told us about how, if you smoke pot, you're going to go to jail. Like kids get separated from their parents. It was, I don't remember exactly what they said and I could be over-exaggerating this in my mind, but the impression that it left on a very neurotic fifth grader who had recently discovered that while her parents were smoking was actually.

    I was terrified. I went home, I cried myself to sleep. I was horrified that my parents were going to get taken away from me because they smoked pot. I thought there was no way I was going to be able to talk them out of it because they liked doing it. So the only thing I could do is take matters into my own hands.

    So I poured bleach on their pot pled. I never told them it was me. My mom found out it was me years later when certain ex husbands of mine told her. But. Uh, I poured bleach and killed their pot plant. And for the rest of my school career, up until up like way up until I was too terrified of alcohol, of, of pot, of everything to even think about going near any of them.

    Now you might say, well, Cindy, isn't that the point of dare to help people resist peer pressure. It wasn't about resisting peer pressure. It was about being terrified that I was going to get sent a fucking prison over it. And knowing what I know now, not only about marijuana, but knowing what I know now about alcohol, about cigarettes, about addictive substances substances in general, like that's some fucking bullshit, like somebody shouldn't get sent to jail for using pot, like of all goddamn things.

    So to have a utterly terrified kid, Who had no real reason to be that terrified. Like I wasn't going to go and like smoke pot to begin with. I wasn't interested in it. Like I never was. Even when I found out my parents smoked it, it wasn't like, oh my God, my parents smoked pot. It must be so cool. No, no, no, no.

    My parents smoked pot. That's the least cool thing I've ever heard of. That's how you keep your kid from smoking pot in high school is to have your parents do it that way. They're like you that's what old people do. It's like Facebook, right? I'm not condoning any parenting decisions here. I'm just joking.

    But like the idea here is that what dare did was leave a strong enough impression on me about how scary. The police would be if ever I or someone I love was caught smoking pot, I don't think is the impression they were going for, but I'm fairly certain that that's the impression. A lot of people, I knew hat and looking back on it.

    And now thinking about the new dare, the keeping it real people asking for donations. All I can think about is fucking no, even if you've improved the program, even if you have improved the program, the roots in the program are in the racist war on drugs to begin with. And secondly, like I have real like, issues that came from that.

    Like they took something with no thought, no talking, they developed it with police officers. They didn't develop it with psychologists. They didn't develop it with anybody like that. They left some, a real, like amount of scarring on me when it came to how I approach the world for a long time. And while the net result of that was me not smoking pot, like the result of me being fucking terrified and paranoid and like afraid of police officers afraid of what was gonna happen to my parents.

    Like that sucks, dude. It sucks. And I do not endorse. So now that you've heard my, my history with the dare program and how I feel about it. I would love to know from you in the comments or not in the comments, but like, like I said, you can email me, you can message me if you're patron, you can let me know on Patrion on the, um, the sneak preview of this post, your experiences with the dare program, how you feel about it, how it made you feel about drugs, about police officers, whatever the case may be.

    And then let me know if you're okay with me sharing this later and I will compile them and we will revisit dare with some more research and so on. And so. In an upcoming month in the upcoming months because I'm right now, I'm too fired up to really do a lot of research. But I really want to tell you how dare made me feel, because to this day, if you can't tell, I'm still resentful of it and I'm fucking almost 42.

    So. That should tell you a lot. Anyway, thanks again to my patrons for sponsoring this episode. I don't think, I think that first of all, in this episode, but they, they deserve my thanks. They do, because they're awesome. They make these episodes possible and you should thank them too. And if you're interested in becoming one, check out www.patreon.com/cindyguentertbaldo to find out more my friends, whether you were traumatized by dare or not as a kid, I hope you have a fantastic day.

    I'd love to hear from you. So be sure to let me know your thoughts and until next time, peace.


    Which COLOR Am I?! The Color Code Personality Test | 145 Jan 17, 2022
    Show notes

    I'm continuing my personality test journey (with a healthy amount of skepticism) with the Color Code Personality Test!

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    Colorful words may be used. don't be alarmed.

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    Color Code Test - https://www.colorcode.com/

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    TRANSCRIPTION

    Hello everybody. It is the uncurated life podcast. I'm Cindy Guentert-Baldo. And today we are continuing my series on personality tests, especially from my point of view, as somebody who's kind of cynical and skeptical about personality tests. Although the last one, which was the Myers-Briggs test, kind of shocked me a little bit.

    But we're moving on to a fun one today. One that's been requested. It's the colors, personality test. Now I find a few different versions of this online, but decided to go with the one that looked the quote most accurate, which is the color code test, which whew are you personality test. So allegedly it identifies both what you do and why.

    And it separates you into four colors and this is pulled directly from the website. Reds need to look good, technically be right, and be respected. They are strong leaders and love challenges. Blues need to have integrity and be appreciated. They are focused on quality and creating strong relationships.

    Whites need to be accepted and treated with kindness. They are logical objective and tolerant of others. Yellows need to be noticed and have fun. They love life, social connection and being positive and spontaneous. So that's basically the information here. Um, I don't have a lot of background information.

    Like I said, it's sort of all over the place, but it is something like much like a lot of the other personality tests. They have stuff on the website saying, well, you could use this to build a better business or to build a better team or whatever, but I basically just want to take it and find out what they have to say.

    So I'm at the website, www.colorcode.com. And I'm heading right over to the tab that says personality test. So when you get there, you have two options. There's the basic analysis, which is a quick and free way to sample the color code personality or. You can do the full analysis, which is a completely customized result, which is designed to fully analyze your personality.

    Now I'm going to pay for it because I, uh, science, I guess I've been paying for the more advanced versions of all of these. And I don't know if I'm wasting money or not, but I'm going to write it off on my taxes. So there you go. This should give me a good report as well as a lot of personnel development shit, which I've gotten from the other ones too.

    I'm not really worried about that. So I'm going to start taking my test and I will report back as soon as I'm done. All right. I'm done with the test. It's actually a very quick test and the questions are all, there's a series of like, you pick a word and then you, there's some statements you pick and it's all having to do with how you were as a child.

    So I think that in and of itself, that to me makes me wonder how accurate this can be, because it's based on your own memory of being a kid. And I'm almost 42. So that was a while ago. Right. But let's, let's go and let's look at my results and it's. Fucking in depth personality test report on me. So let's go first and foremost to my main color.

    Cause it gives you a main color in this report and a secondary color. And my main color, which is overall it's 64% is red. And then my secondary color is blue at 24%. And then the other two white and yellow are eight and 3%. So very much a red with a secondary blue. So let's go and read what it says about me as a red.

    It says, congratulations, Cindy, your core color of red means you have the driving core motive of power.

    This, this is a red, you need to look good technically to those whose opinions matter, your intellectual prowess is often admired and emulated. You're a born leader. You seek act action and are highly productive. You can be highly critical of those who, uh, dissatisfy your expectations. I agree with a lot of that.

    You need to be right. Yes. And this, I think goes back to when I was a kid, I would say one of my main characteristics and my sisters will agree with this. I was, I was pretty bossy, bossy and impatient. And I know that there is some level of like patriarchy when it comes to telling little girls that they're bossy, but like, I was bossy.

    Like I, I still kind of am actually. Anyway, it says that reds need approval in a way that is different from the other colors, yellows want approval from everyone around them, but it only matters to reds when it comes from people who are important to you, people who you respect. So I don't necessarily need approval from people.

    I don't give a shit about. Tracks with me, it also says is a red that I can lack or have struggles with intimacy, like building intimate relationships, which is entirely true for me. So who knows, maybe I am a red let's look at my secondary color. So it says here that I have a blue, secondary color. There are advantages and disadvantages to that.

    The major advantage is that people with a strong secondary color can naturally work to develop the positive traits of that color. In your case, Cindy, you should pursue the development of the strengths of the blue secondary color as they will make you even more effective as a person. The disadvantage of possessing a blue secondary color is that it challenges the aspects of your red core.

    You may send mixed signals, which also tracks. One moment you'll act red. The other you'll act blue. This behavior can confuse people and make it difficult for them to know how you will react to any given situation. In other words, you may appear to be more inconsistent than would appear as somebody without a strong secondary color.

    As a core red with secondary blue, there will never be a dull moment in your life. You possess one of the most complex personalities of all the color combinations. You face an intense internal struggle and often give mixed messages to those. With whom you interact, you can. Someone for making a mistake one minute, then feel guilty and offered to treat him or her to lunch.

    The next you move forcefully through life, creating action and impacting others as you go. But when you feel those impacts might've been negative, your secondary blue personality leaves, you feeling very deep, remorse and guilt. Oh my God. Okay. That makes me feel called out. There was a day, the other day where cat really wanted to make whipped cream with the heavy whipping cream that we had in the fridge, like in the.

    And I was like, no, I'm gonna use this for dinner and Catholic, but mom, we can always get more. You're not making it tonight. And I'm like, yeah, I want it now. Don't and I got super mad and then realized how ridiculous I was being and apologized and let Kat make the whipped cream. But like everybody in the house was looking at me like Cindy, you're fucking like all over the place.

    And apparently this agrees with that. Now there's another section here in the paid for version where it gives you red needs, red wants than blue needs and blue wants. And what it suggests is that I circle the top two or three that are the most critical to. So let's take a look for red needs to be right, to be respected, to hide insecurities tightly, and to look good intellectually.

    I would say that if I'm being real honest with myself, the most important ones to me are to be right. The most on that list to be right. And maybe till it good intellectually, if I'm being real honest, uh, for red wants reds, want to receive selective approval to please yourself, to lead others and to experience challenging adventure.

    I would say from that list, if I was going to pick two, I would say to receive selective approval and to lead others now for the blue needs, they are to be good, morally, to be appreciated, to be understood and to receive acceptance. And I would say easily looking at that list that my top two needs there would be to be good morally, and to be appreciated.

    And then for blue wants to reveal insecurities to enjoy security, to be autonomous and to please others. And from that list, I can again, easily pick two, and that would be to enjoy security and to be autonomous, no, here is a. Situation that, um, where it's based on some of the stuff you picked off of the test.

    And so it tells you your strengths and limitations. So my red strengths are I'm motivated, pragmatic, productive, proactive, decisive, assertive action oriented, determined a leader and focused. My blue strengths are that I'm quality oriented and deliberate. My white strengths are that I'm self-regulated and inventive.

    And my yellow strength is that I'm a creative thinker. My red limitations are that I'm selfish tactless, always right. Bossy and demanding. My sisters would be like, yup. And my blue limitations or that I can be judgmental. Self-righteous a perfectionist worry prone, overly sensitive, low self-esteem and unrealistic expectations.

    My white limitations can be that I'm can be an indirect communicator. And my yellow limitations are that I can be naive and obnoxious again, all of this fields, but these were all things I picked. So it's not like they wouldn't feel right to me. Now there's one little section here that I want to touch on before.

    I end this and that is there's a section towards the end that tells you about development tasks to consider as. And then they've got them for work personal and love. And I'm going to look in on the personal, because that's kind of my focus for this next year is to help bring my personal life back into like focus in my entire life as a whole.

    So I'm going to look at these ones and I'm going to see what I can take away from them. It says here, I need to start enjoying living in the most. Yes. Being more introspective in how you impact friends and family. That's something I've been working on for a long time. I'll be real with you. Inviting people who live life differently into your life.

    That would be kind of hard for me, but yeah. Um, I need to stop making all the decisions about how your friends should live your bare life. That one I actually don't think I do, but it's mostly because I've been really kind of persona. Non existence in my friends lives in recent years, but I have done that before.

    Uh, stop being so rigid about completing tasks on your days off Jesus. Yes. And stop getting mad at your family when they disrupt your focus. Aha. Yes. My kids will be like cheering in the background, um, and then continue juggling a variety of interests in your life, which you do so well. I appreciate you think that personality test, but I'm not really feeling that way right now.

    Sharing your gifts of vision with the community and challenging the status quo. So, yeah, I'm down for that. I'm down to do some of those things. So what do I think about this test? Well, like I think that it's, I think that it's been fairly accurate, but I also don't know exactly how. How much insight it can give when there really was only probably about 50 questions total, and they all had to do with how you felt you were as a kid, which again, the further you are away from being a kid, it feels like the, the less you remember, but it was an interesting little thing.

    And I guess it'll be really interesting when I get to the end of this series and I start comparing all of these results against each other. Well, anyway, it was a fun test take. I can imagine you want to get all this information, but it could be real interesting to look at by just doing the free version.

    So I'll leave it linked in the show notes in case you want to take it and share your results with me over on Instagram, tag me at Lama letters and your stories. I'd also love any suggestions on personalities to take in the future personality tests. I've got a few of them on my list currently that I haven't done yet.

    Um, Clifton strengths actually is the only one I have. At the moment. So I would love some more suggestions for personality type tests. They don't have to be scientific. They can be fucking bunk as shit. Maybe even a Buzzfeed test. I don't know. Let me know in the comments around the comments, this is a fucking podcast.

    Let me know, uh, over on Instagram at Lama letters, or you can let me know, um, from my emails, whatever you want to do anyway, in the meantime, Thank my patrons. They make this episode possible. They make all my episodes possible and you can talk to them over at www.patreon.com/cindyguentertbaldo. In the meantime, my friends, I hope you have a fantastic rest of your week, and I cannot wait to talk to you next time.

    Thanks and peace out.


    Is "Wellness" The New "Diet"? | 144 Jan 10, 2022
    Show notes

    It's January, the biggest month of the year for diets… or is it "wellness" now? DISCLAIMER Colorful words may be used. don't be alarmed. NEWSLETTER https://view.flodesk.com/pages/61525a85337f1c2aacf52f6d Etsy Shop is open! https://www.etsy.com/shop/CGBPrints FIND ME ON ALL THE THINGS Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/cindyguentertbaldo YouTube - https://youtube.com/c/CindyGuentertBaldo Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/llamaletters/ Discord - https://discord.gg/Rwpp7Ww Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/llamaletters/ Website - www.cindyguentertbaldo.com STUFF I MENTIONED Good Housekeeping Article - https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/diet-nutrition/a35036808/what-is-diet-culture/ Maintenance Phase - http://maintenancephase.com/ Inquiries - cindy@cindyguentertbaldo.com TRANSCRIPTION Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the uncurated life podcast. Before I even get into this episode, I wanted to give you a bit of a trigger warning for anybody who struggles with, talk about weight. Talk about dieting, talk about exercise, talk about disordered eating and all of that. I will be talking about my thoughts on how wellness and dieting seem to be. Kind of interchanged with each other right now, is this all my own thoughts and my own experiences, but I know that for some people, this can be a conversation that can be really hard for them. So I'm just letting you know, upfront that if you need to skip this episode, no hard feelings. Totally understand. But I wanted to say that upfront because I love you. Let's get going. Not that this is your first time here. My name is Cindy Guentert-Baldo this is kind of a heavy one to get started on, but it also kind of gives you an idea of sort of the, the different ways that this podcast kind of takes shape. I love to talk about how we live our lives on the internet. And for me, that can show up in some sassy molassey and that can also show up in some kind of heavier conversations. And today's definitely going to be on the heavier side, but it is something that has been weighing on me quite a bit. Recently, no pun intended. And that is, is wellness. The new diet. Imagine. Wellness and diet, both being in quotes. Now I had already had this thought and I will kind of talk about that a little bit in a hot minute here, but if you don't already listen to it, maintenance phase is a fantastic podcast where they dissect a lot of things around diet, culture and wellness culture, and it's fascinating. And it has helped me really unpack some of the stuff that I have had ingrained in me for a long ass time. And. I think that if you haven't listened to it, I'll make sure to link it in the show notes. There talk about wellness and diet has been really instrumental for me in solidifying some of the thoughts I was already having. Although I will also say that I don't have very solid thoughts on this. This is more of a stream of consciousness conversation that brings in my experiences and my thoughts on the subject. And this will be an ongoing conversation, I think, cause it's fascinating to me lately, especially as it pertains to myself, my body image. And how some of those things can impact my kids. So I guess a good place to start is my history with dieting. I'm 42 years old. Well, I'm almost 42. I keep saying I'm 42, but I haven't quite turned 42 yet, but I'm getting there. I grew up in the eighties in the nineties. Dieting was everywhere, but it wasn't really something that was impressed upon me, partly because I grew. In a fairly poor household. And there wasn't really any conversation about dieting because the conversation was often about. W what kind of food we were going to have for dinner? Like where are we going to have to go get the free government food? Or where are we going to have to get something on clearance at the grocery store that my mom was going to have to make stretch? It, it wasn't like a, it wasn't a real conversation in our house. If my mom was into diet culture. Honestly, I don't remember it now. My sisters could totally contradict me on this. I also was a very self-absorbed teenager, especially, but I don't remember my mom being super into, into diet culture for one. My mom, as a profession was a cook. She did was a kitchen manager at a restaurant at the cafeteria. She worked in various kitchens throughout her life and loved to cook. Unfortunately, when it came to our meals, she was burned out on cooking for the most part, and also trying to stretch a very, very meager budget when it came to our food. But she wasn't afraid of. On top of that, my mom was a bigger lady. She was not skinny by any stretch of the means. She was a much a bigger person, but she seemed to have quite a bit, at least again, from my memory of a fairly good body image of herself, partly because my dad thought that she was just absolutely gorgeous and. They may have fought like cats and dogs, but they also were high school sweethearts and super into each other. And so, again, from my perspective, I'm not speaking for my mom and my mom has passed away. So she can't really speak for herself anymore. But from what I remember observing. I didn't get a lot of my issues with food from my mom's specifically when I was in high school, I did have body image issues, but most of my body image issues were surrounded by the fact that I was six, two. I grew a foot and a half in a year. And when you AE are super tall female and be. It's like the mid nineties and they haven't really started selling like long sizes and a lot of the super discount stores, which is all we could afford to shop at. I wound up having to do things like wear men's jeans because they were the only ones that weren't high waters on me. So most of my body image issues that I remember were surrounded by, um, how tall I was not my weight. I honestly don't really remember being super. Annoyed by my weight in high school, what I will say. And again, this can go back to my self absorbed. Anise is that both of my sisters tended towards my mom's body shapes. They were both are both larger than me. And maybe part of me was like, oh, well, I don't have to worry about that. Cause I'm skinnier than them, which is a shitty thing to say, but. I can totally see myself sort of internalizing that. I just don't remember any real issues that I had with body image that wasn't around, both my height and the fact that I have never been able to give my hair. Like I didn't even know. Straight irons were like flat irons were a thing. I just thought people had naturally smooth hair and my shitty hair and my shitty teeth were just because I was poor. I found out later. Yeah, that is part of it because I couldn't afford the things to make them fancy, but it wasn't that fancy people, rich people just happen to be more fancy know they can afford the ways to be more fancy suffice it to say, I didn't start struggling with weight until I got. It really started when I was in my first marriage. And some of it came from comments that my ex-husband made, that had to do with his standards for beauty. And they weren't about me being. Overweight. They were about me having smaller boobs basically. And I internalized a lot of that. I don't think he really knew when he told me those things, that that was going to impact me for years to come. I think for him, he was just making an offhanded comment, but. For me, they did impact me for a long time. And the, and again, this goes back to a lot of what I've been thinking about lately, which is it's very easy for us to make offhanded comments. About ourselves, about other people that we don't think are a big deal, but there may be people overhearing what we're saying or that we're saying them to, whether it's our kids, whether it's other people in our lives, whatever the case may be. And so what to us, does it seem a big deal because we've already internalized it or it just doesn't seem like a big deal to us. It could be really awful for somebody else. And that's just been something that I've been grappling with lately. Again, that particular comment did not make me really worry about my weight. The worrying about my weight began when I was pregnant and it wasn't even when I was pregnant, my first pregnancy with cat, I went 41 weeks. I gained 70 pounds and when I had cat, cat was a little under 10 pounds. I was having a lot of trouble dropping the weight at first. And I wanted to, I wanted to just get back to my normal and believe me, my normal has Al was always at the time, like 180 pounds. Again, I'm six, two. I wasn't ever expecting to be super, super skinny or anything. I just didn't want to be where I was at the time. So I went on weight Watchers for the first time. And this first round of WeightWatchers that I was on was successful for me. I wound up losing the majority of that weight and feeling really good about it. I wasn't exercising all that much cause exercise and I have never been good friends with each other, but I was like just really counting calories and restricting the food I was eating and it worked. And then I got pregnant again. And this time with RJ. Because of various circumstances, which I can totally go into in another video. A lot of it was my fault. Uh, we wound up, I wasn't working and we wound up having a lot of trouble, like with money in general, in the early days of my pregnancy with RJ, I wound up going without food for a week because I was so worried that we wouldn't have enough money for food and for gas to get me to the job I was going to. And I ended up blacking out at my training. So. Suffice it to say that even when I started working again, I did not have either the time because I had a toddler or the disposable income to indulge all of my cravings. When I was pregnant with cat dude, I was all about the Wienerschnitzel, corn dogs and shit, or chili dogs, and shit like that. But with RJ, I only gained 20 pounds. And then on top of that, he was almost 11 pounds when he was born. So that to me felt like, like triumphant, but I did again, try to go on weight Watchers to lose the weight a second time. And this time I struggled with it. However, I discovered that there was another way that one could lose weight. Enter the time in my life. When I was below my goal weight, I was the skinniest I had ever been in my life. Not only that people were telling me how good I looked, I was also the most miserable I had ever been in my life. It was when things were really bad between my ex-husband and I, and I was a manager at trader Joe's and I was working 50 plus hours a week on a schedule where I barely saw my. It was chain smoking. I was only eating basically goldfish, crackers and drinking. Coca-Cola. That was it. That was basically my life now. No, at this point, I didn't know I had polycystic kidney disease, but my blood pressure, it was only just then starting to skyrocket. Amazing. I can't imagine why. Right. But like, you could see my hips and I felt really, really like, like, like Zoolander would say really, really good looking, but I was utterly miserable. This is a very self-destructive period of my life. I was drinking too much. All sorts of shit happened again. I might go into this more and more detail one day, but that's not the subject of this podcast. The best weight I'd ever been in my life was the most unhealthy I'd ever been in my life. And yet I was still proud of myself for being that weight. And for a long time afterwards, once I had gotten out of that marriage, once Jesse and I had started dating and then living together and I put on like the happy, the happy weight, the weight that comes when one stops, one, quit smoking for one and is not like completely and utterly lost. Depressed and just fucked up for that whole time. Yeah, I put on the weight, but I would keep idealizing this ideal of myself when I was a super skinny, but also really unhealthy. This was the first time it began to occur to me, but not in the front of my mind, in the back of my mind that it's not about how much you weigh when it comes to how healthy you are. That doesn't mean that there can't be health problems that come with being. In the upper limits of weight and there's things that come with being in the lower ends of the weight spectrum or whatever. I'm not saying that, but what I am saying is that how much someone weighs is not necessarily an indicator of their health. There are other indicators that are much more obvious making assumptions about someone's health based on their weight is foolish because that doesn't tell you anything. But at the time, I didn't quite think about that. Now I was never a diet cycler, but in the years after I got together with Jess, I put back on weight because I had quit smoking cold Turkey right before we moved in together. And then. Generally speaking, I was much happier. So I was not like subsiding on crackers and soda anymore. There were times when I would return to my old favorite, the weight Watchers that I did, the whole 30, my kids will make jokes about that to this day, because they were like, mom, are you fucking kidding me? I flirted with plenty of diets, but I didn't. Um, really go down the super high protein end of things. Mostly because again, knowing that I had kidney disease, that just seemed like a bad idea at the time. However, in the time of this timeframe, I began to notice certain wording around dieting coming from my diet fat free, you know, zero points kind of WeightWatchers lifestyle. I began to notice with some of my friends. Th their wording was different, but it felt the same very specifically. It was around things like eating, clean, eating, lean, feeling, lean, feeling light, you know? Yeah, cleansing toxins. My first real exposure to this shit started happening. It was happening to me and a group of my friends and I immediately was like, what the fuck does that even mean? It just sounds like diet talked. Clothed differently. And I had evidence of that fairly soon. I had a friend who blacked out from not eating enough in there eating lean phase or whatever. And so I was like, okay, this, this is kind of concerning me. But again, it didn't cause me to take a look at what I was trying to do. Like, okay, this person is saying they want to eat clean and feel light. And I'm like, I'm kind of worried about you, man. But then I turn around and I'm like, how many? Zero point snacks can I get in today? Right. So that all leads me to the most recent years where I've really, I've really kind of changed my thought process on all of it. One of the things that changed that thought process is having polycystic kidney disease. Literally because my kidneys are massive. They make me look pregnant and has taken me a long time. I'm talking up until recent days where I can look at myself in the mirror and not completely hate the way I look. I recognize why I look the way I look and. I am trying real hard to love my body, but I think I've at least gotten to a point where I liked my body. I don't love the way it feels a lot at the time, but I also am at a point now there's nothing like fucking chronic kidney disease to let you know that when you eat something that your body doesn't like, your body lets you know, real quickly and that's where I'm at right now. So it's a balance of how nauseated I am. Most of the time. And how certain things that I tend to go towards when I'm nauseated might make me feel like shit. Maybe because of my medications, maybe because of my kidney function, it depends on the th…

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    143 | New Year's Hot Takes Jan 03, 2022
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    It's the New Year, and I'm coming in hot with some… hot takes. Well, some might be lukewarm takes, but I wanted to share them anyway.

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    Hello friends today is going to be a fun, little quick episode for the beginning of the new year, because it's just that time of year. And I actually have a lot of heavier topics that will be coming up soon, but I thought that today's episode would be more fun if I just kicked it off with a quick little bullshit episode.

    And that is going to be my five hot takes about new years. The new year, season new year's everything. And before we get started, just to let you know, this is the uncurated life. My name is Cindy . Introductions introductions, introductions, where I talk about our lives, how we live them, especially on the internet.

    Love to have you here, if this is your first time, and this is not your first time, fucking thanks for coming back. My guys. So let's jump right into it. Five hot takes surrounding the new year. Resolutions, all that shit hot take number one. I hate the terms, wellness and eat clean so very much. And I swear to God.

    It's already getting something, getting bombarded across social media at me. I hate them much like the word authentic to me. I feel like they have lost all of their meaning. I think wellness feels like a copy paste to go in and replace the word diet and everything. Now it's like the same stuff. Just different language.

    I think that eat clean. Is, uh, it's like also like getting rid of toxins is a bullshit term. Like what the fuck is eating clean mean? Like what does it really mean? Because people have different ideas. So that's my hot tick that I hate those words so much, so much. They make my eyebrow Twitch and I will be excited when the new years hustle and bustle is over.

    And that shit mellows out. B to B be tuned, stay tuned because I will be doing some episodes coming up on what I think is toxic wellness culture, hot take number two, staying up until midnight on new year's Eve sucks. Total ass. Now I know I used to do when I was. 'cause you didn't get to stay up till midnight.

    Very often. I think the first time I really was over, it was 2000, the 1999 to 2002 new year's Eve. The Y2K thing, we were all convinced the world was going to end at the time I was working as a bagger at a grocery. While still in college and people went, they just, they lost their shit over the Y2K shit and they bought the water and the canned goods and everything.

    And I worked an 11 to eight shift that day. Exhausted trying to keep up with the number of people shopping because they thought the world was going to fucking end at midnight before year 2000. So the next day I was scheduled to work a seven to four shift. And when I got home, I was living with four other people.

    Boyfriends and everything else. And they were all gonna stay up and have like a party and like, yeah, check out the world ends. And they're like sitting here and you going to stay up with us and I'm like, no, I'm going to go to bed. I am tired. But what if the world ends? I'm like, I'll find out in the morning when I wake up to go to work motherfuckers.

    And since then, I swear to God, like I may have had times where I've wanted to stay up. Especially if I went to a party, I've even hosted some new year's Eve parties, but to be perfectly honest, I am too fucking old to stay up that late. I want to go to bed at 10:00 PM and. When I go to bed at 10 it's midnight, somewhere we're in mountain time.

    It's midnight on the east coast. When I go to bed at 10. It's good enough for me, man. I'll take number three. I both really dislike having an arbitrary date for setting goals and resolutions. And I also really love the feeling around new year's and setting goals and resolutions and that daikon. Pisses me off, like part of me is like, oh, it's an arbitrary date.

    And the other part of me is like, fuck. Yeah, I love the arbitrary date. And I can't decide which one is, which it's kind of how I feel when I make some consumerism videos. And I'm like, oh my God, don't buy all the things. Oh my God. Buy all the things. And deep down, I can tell it's like the duality of man and the duality of man around the arbitrary date of new year's for some reason.

    Fry's mine, ARDS, and I don't know why I can't figure out why I can't just be okay with one course or the other. I don't know, man, but my hot take is that both the arbitrary date sucks and the arbitrary date is great. And I don't really know the answer to that question. That's my hot take hot take number four.

    I don't even know if this is a hot take so much, but bear with me. I'm convinced that. The whole new year season, right from like the start of the holiday season through like February, right. Is two planner companies, as well as diet and exercise companies. What Valentine's day and Halloween are two candy companies.

    Would we be as excited to set goals on January 1st? If we weren't marketed to so heavily, would we be so excited to let's wellness eat clean on January 1st? If we weren't marketed to so heavily, what came first? The resolutions or the marketing? I'm sure there's probably a way to find that out, but like just in general, like I play right into it.

    I fucking love this. I have videos going up. You go back to the last week and a half on my YouTube channel and it's all sorts of goals and every. Like I'm right there with the rest of you. But the, the part of me that kind of sits up in my back of my brain and like the same one that struggles with the duality of man about everything else, right.

    Sits there and is like, but Cindy, would this be as exciting to you if there weren't so many products coming out, geared towards this? Who knows? I don't know, but my hot take. Maybe that's the case, and I'm still going to go along with it just as I'm still going to go eat the shit out of some Halloween candy.

    And I'm not really a big fan of Valentine's day, but I am a big fan of all of the extra chocolate that comes out. So I dunno, I don't know. Maybe the world may never know. And high-tech number five. There is nothing wrong with keeping your Christmas lights up and your tree up until February. Not just because you might be lazy, but because that shit is cozy to me, one of the biggest benefits of having an artificial tree is you can leave it up as long as you want to.

    Now, we actually know some people in our family who keep a tree up all year, not decorated, just the lights, because they like the whole. I don't think I would go that far for myself personally, because I think that there is a specialness that comes to when you get all the lights out and everything that like adds that coziness.

    And I wonder if I kept them up all year inside the house that it might start to just become background noise to me, but keeping it up until February. Fuck. Yeah. And I also, I guess this is the same hot take, but just sort of continuing on with it is that people who. Judge other people for keeping lights on their house year round can suck my Dick because a putting those up as annoying B, does it really matter all that much?

    And see maybe some people like having their lights that maybe they want to light their house up all year. You don't know. So just mind your business, but I will say, I will say that for me. Generally speaking, a big part of this is not just the coziness, but also the laziness. So there is that, but heartache, yes.

    I don't know how much of a hot tech this is. I know some people are like, no Christmas lights up until after Thanksgiving. And some people are like, oh, but you must take it down by new year's. And for me. Keep him up as long as you want to, because they're fun. So those are my hot takes for the new year. If you have a hot take surrounding new years and all of the stuff kind of going with it, make sure to post it on Instagram stories and tag me at Lama letters so that I can see it.

    I'd love to see your hot takes because I'm big fan of the hot takes. Make sure you also think my patrons or check out my Patrion. If you're interested as they are the sponsors of this podcast and they make my hot takes possible, you can check out www.patreon.com/cindyguentertbaldo to find out more next week is probably going to be a heavier topic.

    So this, this was a light one. I hope you enjoyed it. And until next time my friends have a great week and peace out.


    142 | Let's Reframe How We See Goals In 2022 Dec 27, 2021
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    Today I chat about how I am reapproaching my goals and my thought process for 2022.

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    TRANSCRIPTION

    Well, hi, everybody. Welcome back to the uncurated life podcast. It is one of my favorite times of year, the, uh, the new year, because even though the holidays and I have a very complicated relationship, the, the start of a new year is always exciting, both because I love paper planners and it's like the paper planner Olympics.

    And also because it's just it's, it feels like a fresh start. Lots of birthdays in my family, everything else. So one of the things I do love to talk about this time of years is goal setting. And while I won't be going deep into my personal goals or my work goals on this podcast, if you'd like to see more about that, you can check out my YouTube channel.

    Those videos will be coming out. They probably, most of them are out already at this point, by the time I'm recording this, I've still in the middle of setting them. So. Uh, let's just say that, uh, this is past Cindy telling future Cindy to get your shit together. The point is, if you want to see those check out my YouTube channel.

    In the meantime though, one of the things I want to talk about is how I'm thinking about my goals this year, because I'm trying really hard to really reframe the way I am looking at them. And before. I get into it though. I also want to give you a reminder that if you have not joined my newsletter yet now is a great time because the first Monday in January, I will be putting out a little printable.

    You can use to display your word of the year and I'm excited about it. So you can find the link for that in the description below yada yada, yada, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, marketing, marketing, marketing. Let's get going on this. One of the things I'm doing this year is really rethinking my relationship with goal-setting because in some ways it was starting to feel a little rote and in some ways I think it was starting to feel a little less effective for me.

    Part of it is because I think. Uh, there's a big theme in my life of setting better boundaries around my work and my personal life. And that includes with goal setting. So I'm separating them. Part of it is I think that my shit was starting to turn into a to-do list instead of really having like something that was meant to be fulfilling for me.

    I just, I feel like I needed to sit and reassess not only the goals I would be setting for this next year. The reasons for, and the method behind why I'm doing it in the first place. And one of the things I wanted to do was talk through this with you here on the podcast, just in case you find any of it helpful.

    That's kind of, one of the reasons I like making this podcast is by getting my thoughts out there because a lot of the times that's what this is. I'm sort of rambling my thoughts at you rather than. Giving you like some sort of like a curriculum or whatever. Sometimes it can be helpful. I know sometimes it's not, but in this case, I'm hoping that at least some of you get something out of this and I'm hoping I do too.

    So if you're, like I said, if you're interested in the nuts and bolts of my goal setting for next year, the planners I'm using the process, et cetera, just check out my YouTube channel. You'll get all of that there because we are balls deep in 2022 prep over on my YouTube channel when it comes to goal setting.

    The first thing that came to my mind when I was really trying to assess how and why and everything like that, the whole way this was going to go in this next year was why am I even bothering. Why am I doing this? What is it that I want out of these goals? Like what is the purpose? I have limited time.

    And as I've said, multiple times, I'm having a lot of trouble setting boundaries around my time and deciding how I'm going to spend my time. And so if I'm going to devote a large amount of my time to setting some goals now, What is the purpose of it? Why do I want to do it? Am I doing it because I think I have to, am I doing it for the gram?

    Am I approaching all of my goals in the same way? Or should I reassess how I'm looking at them and how some of them might be different from. Others like, and some of this may be obvious to you, but to me, it, actually, I had to sit and really think about this for a few minutes, because like I said, sometimes it feels a little wrote to me and I noticed, and I think I mentioned this in a recent power sheets video, but like even when it came to setting my goals and trying to separate work and personal goals, My personal goals did not go very well unless they had some aspect of them connected to my work.

    So it seems like trying to do things for myself, have really just been pushed to the side. So if I want to do this and I could tell that I really want to, because I want to reclaim some of my personal energy back and my personal time back. And I guess that is why. But how do I do that in a way where I can respect the time I need for the different aspects of my life.

    So I need to improve upon this is basically what I'm coming out of this with, because I came out of this, knowing that I really want. To both progress in my, my work life, progressing my career progress in the income I bring in progress in the skills that I acquire progress in the, both the depth and the breadth of the things that I do freelance wise.

    Expand my community, all those things for work, but that I also want to restore some sort of harmony in my personal life, knowing that I have health issues and that I have kids with mental and physical health issues, knowing that there's a lot going on and that my time and my strength and my energy are so limited, but being able to bring some more of that peace and some more of that.

    Into my personal life without exhausting myself. That's a very tricky balance to find, but it's an, and I'm definitely going to want to strive towards this next year. And I think in order to do that, when I set sort of the foundation of it by goal setting, I need to be extremely clear that I want both of these things, but that in order for them both to happen, there needs to be some give and take.

    No, I love me some woo woo. As much as I hate to admit it, like I may just about it. I may joke about the woo, but I also have a certain level of the Wu that I, I enjoy. Right. But what I have discovered in this last year, especially in the last like chunk of the year, and I've talked about this in multiple goals, videos is that.

    I, I tend to lean too far into the Wu when it comes to work goal setting, it makes it real easy for me to set some squishy touchy-feely goals when it comes to work setting. When goal setting, when what I also really need to do is be thinking about revenue goals to be thinking about like KPIs. I don't even know what KPI stands for.

    I just know that it's like the thing that my husband talks about with like, these are the things. You measure when you're seeing how your performances, so that kind of shit, as much as I don't tend to think that way in order for me to progress as someone who is working as a freelancer and bringing in multiple streams of revenue from different aspects of being self-employed, I need to really.

    I need to like step aside from some of the woo, keep some of the woo cause that's who I am, but also bring in some of the more concrete, analytical shit. And that's, that's something I really need to focus on in this next year.

    It's important to me when I say, why am I setting goals when it comes to work that I need to both. Have concrete things to work towards with measurable results to prove the value of what I'm doing to myself. So I can make some steps, but I also need to still continue to work with my gut and go with my intuition and what feels right.

    Because that's what I've done thus far. And I, I really, that's a big part of who I am. So. Work-wise I think I'm kind of moving in that direction, but with home stuff, I need to be in the opposite direction. I feel like all I've been doing for personal life goals saying is just making a to-do list and calling them goals.

    I because of that, it feels just like, it's just another thing I need to check off my list. And what I really think I need to do is hone in on the areas of my life that need more attention, more fulfillment, and think about ways to elevate that and elevate those areas of my life rather than worrying so much about checking all this shit off of a list.

    So it's almost like I need to go in complete opposite directions with both my work and my personal. And really, really, uh, really hone in on that. So I kind of sat down to think about like, okay, well, if I've kind of come up with sort of the overall picture of how I need to reassess my goals for this next year, How do I, how do I really, how do I really work my way through to decide what planner to use, how to decide, how to set my goals and all of those other things.

    And I, I kind of came back to the old grammar, the old grammar situation from elementary school, right? The who, what, when, where that situation. So think about it this way. If you're thinking about your goals and this is the thing I'm going to be doing, what am I working towards? What am I working towards and why is it important?

    And once you answer those questions, then you could say, well, how am I going to get there? When, once you know how you're going to get there, you start coming up with ideas of how then when are you going to work on those things? Where are you going to fit them into your life? And then where are you tracking them?

    It seems super simple. But I swear as a planner person and I can't speak for any of you, but if you agree with me, make sure to post this in your stories and tag me at Lama letters so I can see it and respond to it. But as a planner person, I think the first thing I think about is where I'm going to be tracking all of those things.

    That's the question? What planner am I Kenny's where am I going to be working on tracking these things instead of. The other way around in reality, the, where you're going to be tracking things probably should come last because it's not the place you're tracking them in. That's the most important, it's why you're doing it in the first place and why it's important to you.

    That's the big thing I'm struggling with right now. And I'm kind of working my way through. I will also add the final kind of aspect to all of this when it comes to reassessing. How I kind of work on my goals is that I really don't like the phrasing work on my goals. I don't like the idea of, well, I need to set aside time to work on my goals because what I think.

    Is going to be important to me in this next year, especially personal goals wise. My S my non-work-related stuff is that it needs to be holistic. There's the woo in my life. It needs to be part of my life. I don't want to just set aside time to work on my goals. I want it to be integrated into the time I spend every day that it's not a question of like blocking off time to work on my goals every day, but that it just becomes part of my daily life.

    I don't know how that's going to work. I don't know if that's possible, but the idea of like quote, working on my goals has really led me to that path of a to-do list of things I want to check off. Whereas I would really like to see it more as how do I take these things? I say I want and really integrate them and elevate them in my life as a whole so that they just feel natural and part of my life, as opposed to something I'm trying to shoe horn.

    Again, this may not be how it is for you, but for me this whole, this whole goal setting as to-do list situation is not. In my personal life for work, it actually has been helping me using a Kanban board to track projects to get me towards those measurable goals has really helped me solidify the way I am working.

    And I am excited and I should have a review already up of the system, which has helped me with that for work. And I'm going to continue to use it in the next year, but like personal goals wise, it turns my life into a series of, to do's on a list that need to be checked out. And I need it to be more than that.

    I need it to have a higher purpose than that. Doesn't have to be a fancy, like religious, higher purpose, but it needs to be, I keep coming back to the word elevate, but that's kind of what it feels like. So that is how I am reassessing and reframing goals as a concept for 2020. I hope that this might've helped you a little bit.

    I'm still a little confused by all the things I just said, but it's really something that is it's important to me this next year, because as I feel crappier and descend further into kidney failure, it's just a reminder that like our time is so limited. It's so finite and spending all of my time trying to be productive or trying to accomplish things.

    It doesn't bring me joy the way that just feeling like my life has purpose does. And it's a, it's a subtle shift for me, but I think it's one that might serve me well in the next year. And it's something I hope to bring you along for the ride width. Now I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, that if you sign up for my newsletter, you're going to get a printable for.

    To be able to print out and put your word of the year on it. However, if you are a patron, I'm going to be doing my annual word of the year lettering session in January. So if you are interested again, a principle, a PNG file that you can use to actually print out a hand lettered version of your word of the year.

    Check out my page. www.patreon.com/cindyguentertbaldo. It's all linked in the description. My patrons are also the sponsors of all of my podcast episodes, and they're fucking amazing. And I cannot wait to hang out with them more in the upcoming year. Anyway, I hope that this was helpful for you. Please let me know if it was, and until next time, my friends peace out.


    141 | The Myers Briggs Personality Test Dec 20, 2021
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    It's time for another personality test, this time one of the big players… the Myers Briggs! DISCLAIMER Colorful words may be used. don't be alarmed. NEWSLETTER https://view.flodesk.com/pages/61525a85337f1c2aacf52f6d Etsy Shop is open! https://www.etsy.com/shop/CGBPrints FIND ME ON ALL THE THINGS Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/cindyguentertbaldo YouTube - https://youtube.com/c/CindyGuentertBaldo Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/llamaletters/ Discord - https://discord.gg/Rwpp7Ww Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/llamaletters/ Website - www.cindyguentertbaldo.com STUFF I MENTIONED Test Link - https://www.mbtionline.com/en-US/Products/For-you Myers Briggs Foundation - https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/ Inquiries - cindy@cindyguentertbaldo.com TRANSCRIPTION Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the uncurated life podcast, where we are always talking about our lives and how we live them on the internet. And one thing that happens on the internet is people talking about their personality types from various personality tests. I believe this is the third episode that I have done in this series. The previous ones I've done where any. And the, uh, DIC tests I believe. And so this will be number three and it is the, um, one of the behemoths of the personality test world. And that is the Myers-Briggs test. Now a quick disclaimer, I tend to be cynical about personality tests, but I am doing my best to be open-minded when I take. So just know that right from the start. I also have not taken it yet. That will happen during the recording of this podcast. Now, before I get further into it, I just want to let you know that if you have not already checked it out, we are heading into the new year extravaganza over on my YouTube channel with all of the bullet journal setups and planners, lineups, and stacks and goals and all the things. So just be sure to check it out. It's linked in the description below. Now let's, let's talk a little bit about this test is also known as the M B T I test the Myers-Briggs type indicator. It's a personality test that is based on the, um, Jungian psychological type theories, Carl Young, uh, it was developed by Isabel Myers-Briggs and her mom, Catherine Myers. They wanted to, I guess, bring the youngian theories. Into, like a place where people could use them, like make them useful. So this is an excerpt from the Myers-Brigg dot org, like the official website, it's the, uh, their explanation about Carlos. Personality type theories. The essence of the theory is that much seemingly random variation in the behavior is actually quite orderly and consistent being due to basic differences in the ways individuals prefer to use their perception and judgment and quote. They took this idea and his theories and everything, and turn them into an instrument that can be used. You can do your self-assessment online, which is what I'm going to do today. Or you can find people that are trained in it that they can assess you and help you figure out what your personality type is. And there are 16 different personality types, um, based on four different. Aspects of, of personality and how you, you, you judge ship. So this is also from the Myers-Briggs website about the basics of the instrument, and they excerpt this from the MTBI manual, a guide to the development and use of the Myers-Briggs type indicator. Favorite world. Do you prefer to focus on the outer world or on your own inner world? This is called extroversion E or introversion. I sets the first letter. This is me talking the first letter of the four letters in the personality type. Next is information. Do you prefer to focus on the basic information you take in, or do you prefer to interpret an ad? Meaning this is called sensing S or intuition and decisions when making decisions do you prefer to first look at logic and consistency or first look at the people in special circumstances. This is called thinking T or feeling F. And then structure in dealing with the outside world. Do you prefer to get things decided or do you prefer to stay open to new information and options? This is called judging J or perceiving P your personality type. When you decide on your preferences in each category, you have your own personality type, which can be expressed as a code with four letters. And quote, and that actually lines up. A lot of people I think are inf PS or I N F J's I think in the planner world, at least I think that's what I've seen. A whole bunch of studies have proven this is, this is important because when I said at the beginning, how cynical I am about personality tests, a lot of it feels like, like if I'm in a certain mood, I'm going to score a certain way. Right? Like, how is it actually. Well, according to the Myers-Briggs website, studies have proven this test to be both valid, meaning that it measures what it says it does, and reliable meaning that you get the same results if you're given the test more than once. So I'm assuming that this is supposed to be one of the more like accurate personality tests, but I have no idea so far in looking at the other two tests I've done. I have had thoughts, both in terms of how it felt right. And how it didn't feel. Right. So we'll see how this one goes. If you are interested in taking the test, I'm going to link the one I am taking below. It's the MTBI online.com test, which is the one linked from the official website. It's a $50 test. It's not cheap. I'm sure that there are. Less expensive versions, but I'm, I'm, I'm going with this one. I'm paying for it for the podcast. Thanks to my patrons who are sponsoring this episode. Uh, because I just, I feel like I want to take the one that is the most quote official. I'm assuming. So. But you can, I'm sure Google and find other versions. So what I'm gonna do now is I'm gonna stop recording and I'm going to take the test when I'm done. I'll let you know how long it took me. And then we will talk about the results. All right. So it only took me about 15, 20 minutes to complete the assessment and I'm a speed reader and I got a phone call in the middle of it. So. I finished. And it's taking me through a 30 minute module to learn about the personality types before it tells me what my personality type is. So I thought I would pop on and kind of bring you with me mainly because maybe this will help interpret it. So they're talking about personality type being made up of four elements, the way you direct and receive energy, the way you take in information, the way you decide and come to conclusions and the way you approach the outside world. And they say that the, the two elements in the middle taking an information and the deciding and coming to conclusions are what make up the core of your personality, because that's what makes up all your mental activity. Right? So you, you collect information and then you have to decide what you're going to do with it. Right. So as we move on, It's talking about basically like taking information, being the, what you are aware of, what you perceive, how you perceive it, what information you look for, what information you rely on, what information is important to you and what you tend to notice or not? No. And then coming to conclusion is how do you come to your decisions? What process do you make? What do you rely on when you make a decision? How do you arrive at your opinions? What kind of decisions do you like to make? What consequences do you consider, how you do evaluate the opinions or decisions of others, and then the two other parts of this, the way you direct and receive energy has to do with how you get energized, how you focus your energy, what drains you and how you like to be in contact and talk to it with other people. And how much of that. And then the other one is approaching the outside world, meaning like, how do you structure? How, how much structure do you want or need? What do you do with new information? How do you approach tasks and what information do you want before making decisions? Now they said that there's four pairs of opposites. And we talked about this at the beginning, the outside, the energy being directed towards the outside world. Or the inner world taking an information that is real and tangible that you can perceive or seeing the big picture and patterns and interrelationships making decisions. It's either logic or personal and social values. And then approaching the outside world is decisiveness with planning versus flexibility and spontaneity. So the terms that they're talking about, we talked about already the introversion extroversion, all of that. Now the preferences. They talk about the difference between using your preferred hand and your opposite hand. When you use your preferred hand, it's easier. It takes less energy. It can be done faster. It feels natural, right? And your opposite hand, unless you're ambidextrous is harder, has more energy is more awkward, et cetera. So it says that you can do both, but one is easier and you prefer to do it more. Right? So. Each of the opposites have their letters. We talked about that at the beginning, there are 16 different personality types based on the four. Like basically if you think about like a four by four square and each way is the four letters, the, um, that describe the energy, the information, the conclusions, and the outside world. And then it said here, when you look at your type description, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Extroverted thinking is different from introverted thinking, a person who is sensing the judging preferences is someone who prefers sensing and perceiving. So the way that the elements of your personality type interact with. Makes each of the 16 personalities different. So it's not just each letter. It's also how they interplay with each other. All right. This next section is about choosing preferences and I actually have to make some choices here, so I will stop the recording for a second, but I will reiterate what it says here on this page, which is a, this is not a test B, there are no right or wrong answers. See, there is no way to pass her. And D everyone has a personality. So I will be back in a few once I'm done with this. All right. So I just went through and based on both what they said about each section of the personality type and they provided a shit ton of examples. I reported myself as an E N F J and the. Answers from my questionnaire were E S F J. But the difference between the end and the S was, it said it was all the way from very likely to very, not likely, somewhat likely blah, blah, blah. And it was very soft, like very, might be likely an S. And so then, You can read this. And which do you think is more correct? So the two types that they give the T the basic rundown is an E S F J, which is what the test gave me was warm-hearted talkative, active cooperative, and conscientious want harmony in their environment and work hard to establish it, notice what others need and try to provide it. Always trying to do something nice for someone, an E N F J was warm sociable. and empathetic are highly attuned to the emotions needs and motivations of others seek and find the best in everyone. I want to help everyone fulfill his or her potential can act as catalysts and provide inspiring leadership and looking at those, I think E N F G. Is much more along the lines for me. I wish I was someone who would provide harmony, but I don't think I am someone who provides harmony. So I'm going to hit continue, which means this is the one they're taking for me. And I'm amazed that cause basically the only letter that was different, everything else was like extremely likely. It was that other one that was soft. So now it says, go to your dashboard to find out select areas of interest so we can customize your experience. Well-being personal development relationships. I'll go with personal development. One. Now that you have your result. There are a bunch of courses. There's a whole bunch of shit here. So I guess the 50 bucks does get you a lot. Um, so it's giving me a whole bunch of like mini courses that I can take because of my type. So it says here that I am a competitor. Facilitator you are highly attuned. I mean, look at results here. Compassionate facilitator, warm, empathetic, and responsible. You tend to take notice of other people's feelings, needs and motivations. You see the potential in everyone and try to help others to grow and develop, to reach their goals. You're loyal and sociable, and you tend to be responsive to praise or criticism from others. You're often a natural and inspirational leader. Cindy's characteristics, collaborative, expressive, friendly, and responsible work in home. Harmony is very important to you. Holy shit. Like I just finished recording a couple of other episodes. This is going to come back to it. I did this one last because of the test, but yeah, harmony is very important to us. And then I'm seeking my guys. You'll often work hard to maintain cooperative collaborative relationships between your colleagues, friends, and family. You'll usually have a genuine interest in other people want to work towards a humanitarian vision. Focused on helping others to achieve their goals or fulfill their potential and use your insights and curiosity to explore possibilities that support the ideas and people around you. You, my potential blind spots are that I might find it difficult to emotionally detach yourself from situations are focused on specific details. Yes. Avoid problems or disagreements to prevent conflict. That's a big hell. Yes. And help others without giving them an opportunity to learn for their. Uh, huh. How others are likely to see you supportive nature, curiosity, empathy at your best. They see you as energetic and enthusiastic. You tend to move steadily into action. Persuasively bringing other people along like this feels like me. This feels right. And I would suggest that I think this feels more right than the other two tests that I took. This feels very much like me, especially when it comes to the blind spots and, um, and some of the other aspects of who I am. So it says that that, uh, Some ENF Jays may have many definite sheds and should nots, which they express freely, sometimes annoying others. Like that for me is an absolute yes. Right? And if they have not developed their feeling preference, their decisions may be inconsistent and poor, poorly formulated. And that used to be me. So that again makes, makes a lot of sense to me. It also says that. They are energized by people and are socially adept. And all I will say with that, that's probably the one spot, but it's, I always knew this extrovert versus introvert part would be a little different because I do get energized by people until I'm not like I hit a wall and being socially adept really depends on the situation. I can be very withdrawn depending on kind of where I'm at, but I think that, that goes back to the J part, which is the. The part of me that needs to be organized and be on a schedule and be in habits. Like I kind of flopped back and forth between like blah, blah feelings and all these things and things must be in their right place. And so I think this really expresses that well, so yeah, overall I think this is very interesting. Um, I really want to dig into some of these. Classes and things that are on here since I've paid for them. I might do that. And if you want me to, I might report back on some of those. Let me know, just message me on Instagram or post to Instagram stories. Tag me at Lama letters. Let me…

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    140 | Shit I'm Looking Forward To In 2022 Dec 13, 2021
    Show notes

    It's been another long, tiring year for me with lots of changes and challenges. In order to really pump myself up, I decided to take some time to really think about what I'm looking forward to in the next year. DISCLAIMER Colorful words may be used. don't be alarmed. NEWSLETTER https://view.flodesk.com/pages/61525a85337f1c2aacf52f6d Etsy Shop is open! https://www.etsy.com/shop/CGBPrints FIND ME ON ALL THE THINGS Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/cindyguentertbaldo YouTube - https://youtube.com/c/CindyGuentertBaldo Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/llamaletters/ Discord - https://discord.gg/Rwpp7Ww Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/llamaletters/ Website - www.cindyguentertbaldo.com STUFF I MENTIONED Previous Episode - https://uncuratedlife.libsyn.com/131-shit-im-excited-about-fall-21 Vlogmas Giveaway Schedule - https://cindyguentertbaldo.com/?p=7177 Inquiries - cindy@cindyguentertbaldo.com TRANSCRIPTION Well, hello friends, welcome back to the uncurated life podcast. I thought that as we are cruising into December of 2022, that it would be a good time to really think about some things I'm looking forward to in the new year. I already did an episode like this a few months ago, and there may be some repeat things, partly because some of them haven't happened yet. Well, mostly because some of them haven't happened yet, but I will link it in the comments. If you haven't heard. Yet. So this is going to be fairly lighthearted, but I do want to just kind of think about some of the things I'm looking forward to in the next year. Some where I have some high expectations and somewhere I have some low expectations, mostly because I think that it helps keep me feeling. At least somewhat hopeful, even when I am in the middle of some pretty intense stuff, family and personal wise right now. So it's, this is an exercise for me to kind of keep my head, right. I'm not into the whole manifesting shit. I'm not into all of that. But what I do really like to think about is. Just reminding myself that there is stuff that I can be hopeful about, even when a lot of other shit in my life feels pretty rough at the moment. Before I jump into these things, though, my name is Cindy Guentert Baldo. If this is your first time here, I'm glad you're here. And if this is not your first time here, thanks for coming back. And I did. To remind you that if you are not following me on Instagram at Lama letters or over on my YouTube channel and all these things are linked below, I have started my Vlogmas giveaways, where I am trying to get a shit ton of planners. I've been reviewing out of my house and I will be rotating between Instagram and the YouTube community tab, running these on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays for a 24 hours. Each it's open internationally. All of those good things. The schedule will also be linked. So if that's something that you're into, if you want a free planner go and check them out, let's get into the things that I am looking forward to in 2022. And first of all, because this is me, we're talking about, we have to talk about media and I guess one of the things I want to say before I jumped into it, cause I'm pretty sure I've mentioned at least one of these things in the previous episode, but one of the things, or two of the things I think. Maybe three of the things I mentioned in the last things I'm looking forward to, I have seen already, and I was extremely happy with all of them. If you're interested in like actual reviews of things, let me know, tell me on Instagram, tag me in your stories, because I don't know if that's something you want from me, but at the very least I'll give you a high level. Look at those three. And that was Halloween kills, which I know some people. Like it was polarizing. I enjoyed it. I felt like it was a solid entry. I I'm a big fan of the Halloween series. I enjoyed the Easter eggs and I enjoyed the brutality of it because apparently that's what I like in horror movies. I liked it. I can see the complaints people have with. Dune was outstanding. And I am so glad that they were able to Greenlight the second one, because that would have sucked so many balls socks, if they did not Greenlight that. And currently we are in the middle of the wheel of time series. And again, for some book fans, it's a little polarizing because they've had to make changes, but I am of the opinion that it's an adaptation. They have to change things to make it translate for the show. And every episode for me is consecutively getting better and better. And the casting is outstanding and the show is beautiful and I am loving it and I am just excited to keep watching it. And the thing I love the most is that my kids are super into it with me. It's something I have loved since I was their age. And so being able to watch it with them is amazing. And even Jesse is on board for it. Good times, but those were the things that I was looking forward to media wise, the things I am looking forward to next year. And I think I've said, I've already mentioned some of them TV shows, uh, discovery of witches, which is coming out in January. It's the final season. They've done three seasons to adapt the three books. And I have really enjoyed it. Several of you were the ones who got me into the books this last year to begin with. And then I went and I bought the shows on Amazon because I don't have the cable where I could stream it. I'm ready to watch the new season. I'm still here for it. You guys, so here for it, Matthew Good is a hot hot man. And I just really enjoy the way they've been adapting it. And I'm excited to see how they bring it to a close. The other thing I'm looking forward to is how some of the dragon. Now I know some people are like you, but the last season of game of Thrones, well, Aside from the fact that, um, unlike game of Thrones, how so the dragon story is done, you can pick it up yourself. It's the first volume of fire and blood. And I honestly would rather he finish the second volume of fire and blood that finished the series at this point, if he was only going to finish one thing, cause I loved it as somebody who likes reading history, like I'm nerd like that house of the dragon, which is basically a history book of the reign of the target. Good times. And I am looking forward to the show. I think the casting so far has been outstanding. They're going to be having like 17 different dragons in the show. They all have different personalities. I'm looking forward to it and I've heard rumor, nothing confirmed that it will probably come out sometime in like April to June of 2022. And I'm here for it. Not going to lie. Movie wise, uh, some of these, it should be no surprise to you. For example, Halloween ends the final of this trilogy that they're doing with Jamie Lee, Curtis and Daniel Gordon green, and all them looking forward to that, uh, screamed five is supposed to be coming out in January. Okay. I remember hearing that like the original three from the first group of movies, you know, Courtney Cox and, uh, David Arquette and nev Campbell, weren't going to come back because west Craven has gone without there being a really good reason. And apparently the people who are making it are like huge fans of the original movies. They really want to honor west Craven by making it there's a great cast, including what's his face from the boys. Uh, the one who plays huge. He's supposed to be in it. There's it just, I have enjoyed all of the screen movies to varying degrees. I was again, 16 when the first one came out. So it's very much in my wheelhouse of like self reverence, referential, horror film. So I'm down to see it in the theater. Probably not, not with the new variant, but I will stream it wherever streaming is available. Assuming I have it. Uh, then there is on the horror movie list also. Which is Jordan peals. New movie has Daniel Kalua in it. And Steven Yuen from the walking dead. And, oh, I don't remember who else, but it has a great cast already. There isn't a lot out there about it yet, but I thought that both us and, um, get out were outstanding, outstanding horror films. And I am I'm, I'm perfectly willing and ready and able, and my body is ready to watch any horror movie. Jordan Peele decides to be. And then on a non horror note, the SQL to enchanted is supposed to be coming out this next year disenchanted and it has the cast back and I loved and chanted. It was the first movie cat saw in the theater. And I, I loved that. They were able to send up the princess movie tropes. While still being a good PR like, like scream, scream was excellent at both lampooning horror films while also being a really good horror film in chanted did a great job at lampooning Disney princess movies will also be in a really good Disney princess movie. So. I would love to see that. And then, uh, the new Batman movie with team Edward, Robert Pattinson in it, I am very interested in it. I love Batman movies. I really enjoy them on all sorts of levels. Even George Clooney, nipple suit, even Ben Affleck actually thought Ben Affleck was not terrible. I thought he was very good, like older dark Knight returns, kind of comic book. If you've read the dark Knight returns comic series. Frank Miller. I think he embodied that older world, weary Batman, and I'm excited to see Robert Pattinson's Batman, which is supposed to be sort of in between the origins of Batman, like Batman begins. And then the later Batman of like the dark Knight rises, it's supposed to be like Batman in his first year of Batman and where he still hasn't quite figured it out yet. I think it's interesting. I would love to see it and yeah. Um, I'm team Edward for Batman. That's all I'm going to say about that. And I'm not actually a big fan of the Twilight series. I just like saying that I probably shouldn't have even had to tell you that anyway, now that we've talked sort of about some of the media, I'm looking forward to. I said in my last thing, I'm looking forward to that. I'm looking forward for snow. I'm still looking forward to it. It hasn't really snowed here yet. It's actually 70 degrees today. It did have the, we did have a couple of flurries right around Thanksgiving at night, and that was exciting, but not enough to stick. So I am still really looking forward to snowy season. I know you all are going to be saying like, yeah, you won't look forward to when you have to drive. Uh, it hasn't happened yet. So give me my illusions, delusions, whatever you want to call it for at least a little while longer. Another thing I'm looking forward to in 2022 is exploring more of the Denver slash Colorado area. We haven't really had the opportunity to do much of that in large part, because since we've gotten here both Jesse and I have been really swamped with work. And then on top of that, there have been health issues for various members of our family, including myself that have needed to be addressed. So the most exploring I've done is shopping and. Doctor's offices. So being able to explore more of it, we really want to go to red rocks amphitheater, whether it's, I don't know if we want to go see music yet, because again, the variants that are coming out, that that's not, it's not something I want to bring into my life, but I've heard the sunrise. There is gorgeous. There's a lot of things we'd like to do. We just haven't had the chance yet. And I would really like to prioritize that in the next year, which will be something that will likely happen when I start setting goals for the new. On top of that, I would really like to see how Lucy and Layla's relationship is developing. I've mentioned it, I think a couple of times in the podcast, but maybe I have, maybe I have it. I don't remember. We adopted a puppy, Layla. She is a black lab mix. We think she's mixed with a little bit of pit bull. We got her from the Colorado retriever rescue. So she's a rescue puppy and we have let her and our cat Lucy really. Take their time getting to know each other with an emphasis on Lucy, driving how much they are actually experiencing each other, because Layla is totally good with cats because the foster home, she was in. Had a ton of dogs and one cat and the cat was the alpha. And she quickly learned that the cat is the boss. She really wants to be Lucy's friend when he's not in the mood to play with her, she will whine, but she won't bother him. And just last night, I got to watch them playing with each. They were chasing each other up and down the stairs. It was really cute. So I'm excited to see how their relationship develops both because it, it it's good for both of them. I think Lou has been a little lonely since Loki died, so it's, it's just something I'm excited to watch because it's been really cute so far. Another thing I'm looking forward to art-wise is trying larger scale art projects. This is actually something that has been on my mind for a while. And I am now at the point where I would really like to start exploring that that may be something that I hope to either get some for some Christmas money or I don't know what, but maybe an easel, maybe try doing some acrylics. I don't know if I want to watercolor on a larger scale, but I'm really interested in doing a quick acrylics on a larger scale. That's just something I'm super interested in and it's not something I would necessarily be doing for like my art prints or anything like that. At the moment, it would be for me in my own enrichment and, and practicing of new skills, which is very important. If you are any sort of creative, it is always important to be forever learning because there is always something more to learn and you, that anything you learn in different arenas can often be applied to different areas of your creative practice. It's important to me to try some new things. The idea now that especially that I have room where I could leave an easel set up on the regular, I really would like to get started on trying some larger format pieces of art. That's that's high on my list. Now I will say that while this is not meant to be like what I'm looking forward to work-wise for the next year. I, there is at least a little bit of work coming into this and that. Trying out different things, lines of products. So for my product based side of my business of my work, like I do all sorts of different work. I make content, I freelance, I have a community on Patrion and I also have an Etsy shop that I sell. Prince of my original artwork. And one thing I did this holiday season was introduced some new products. I sold some vinyl sticker decals. I sold some bookmarks and I sold some calendars and that was really fun. And so not only am I interested in experimenting with different kinds of art for my own enrichment, I'm also interested in releasing just some different things, whether it is a full. Well fuller, I don't know how you would say it, but like a line of bookmarks with more of my fuckery flowers on them, as I've gotten requests that people can collect them to maybe putting some of my pattern work and other things that I've been doing as well, kind of to, again, continue to hone my skills maybe on fabric or a wallpaper, or on like going through like a print on demand site, like Spoonflower or. Society six or whatever to sell, like mugs or pillows or whatever. I don't know. I'm just,…

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    139 | I Suck At Challenges Dec 06, 2021
    Show notes

    I have a confession… I suck at challenges. DISCLAIMER Colorful words may be used. don't be alarmed. NEWSLETTER https://view.flodesk.com/pages/61525a85337f1c2aacf52f6d Etsy Shop is open! https://www.etsy.com/shop/CGBPrints FIND ME ON ALL THE THINGS Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/cindyguentertbaldo YouTube - https://youtube.com/c/CindyGuentertBaldo Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/llamaletters/ Discord - https://discord.gg/Rwpp7Ww Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/llamaletters/ Website - www.cindyguentertbaldo.com STUFF I MENTIONED 100 Day Project - https://the100dayproject.org/ Inquiries - cindy@cindyguentertbaldo.com TRANSCRIPTION I've got a confession to make my friends. I really suck at challenges. Hi everyone. Welcome back to the uncurated life podcast. And today I just, I need to talk about this. I need to tell you about my suckiness at challenges and why I think that might be why you might suck at challenges and what I think might happen as we move forward. But before I do. Just a quick reminder. My shop will be closing this Friday, December 10th for the rest of 2021 to avoid any mishaps with shipping because the shipping world right now is a shambles. So I want to make sure that if you have anything you want to order for gifts or anything like that, that you get them in time, at least as best as I can control it. So yeah, if you have any orders you want to put in. Of like prince or whatever, whatnot for the holidays, make sure to get them in by the 10th. I will still continue to ship out until I'm done shipping out, but that's when everything's going to close and then I will reopen it in January. Anyway, move forward. Sucking the challenge. So here's the thing, here's the irony of this situation. I have been hosting two challenges for several years now. My alum love lettering every damn day challenge, which encourages you to letter a little bit every damn day to get practice, because it's the only way you're going to get better. Right. And the other one is random doodles, which I just started doing myself before. It was a challenge and people liked it. So I started doing that. And again, it's meant to do a little bit of doodling every day to get better at it right now. In the last year or so though, I haven't actually participated in either of my challenges. I have created them and posted them. I have sometimes set up a section of my bullet journal to do them, and then I don't do them. And one just it's like, am I bored? Like, what's the question here? What, why, why is it that I put the effort into putting these out there? And then I don't do them. Well, first of all, I will add that I put them out there because other people ask for them, but I I'm just not into it. And you would think, okay, we'll find one that you're into, but I haven't really done that either. So. To kind of start this when I'm talking about challenges, what I'm referring to mainly is creative challenges that you can find on the internet, like creative type challenges, geared towards getting you to do something every day, something specific for a specific amount of time. Usually because they want, the challenge is geared towards you getting practice at something, building a habit of something, helping you find inspiration. Blah-blah-blah, there's a bunch of challenges out there, including some that are relatively well known, especially in creative communities. Like the a hundred day project where you pick some kind of creative thing and you do it everyday for a hundred days. The new one is starting, I think in January. And I have been considering doing it, but doing it on my own terms. But ironically, again, I'm doing an episode about how I suck at challenges and then thinking, oh, but maybe I'll do that now. Who fucking knows another one? That's pretty well known in the art world is ink Tober. Where are you going to list of prompts? And you're supposed to draw something with ink every day, for a month with the, the idea, being that by drawing it with ink, instead of penciling in, you have to like, go with what you draw rather than make I making mistake. I don't know something like that anyway. So my challenges are a month long and therefore lettering and doodling, like I said, The idea here is to, especially to get in the habit of something. If you do something every single day for a month or for a hundred days, or whatever, the chances of you building a habit are higher than if you weren't doing anything at all. I vibe with that, I vibe with the idea of doing a little bit of something every single day to build the habit I vibe with somebody else, giving you creative prompts to help you like spur your creative. I held a vibe with the idea of practicing every day, because it's the only way you're going to get better. And I make my own challenges because I think that it's fun to get different people's perspectives out there. So why do I suck at actually doing them? I started to try and brainstorm why I thought no, I'm going to also say upfront. I don't think I have any answers in this video. I'm sort of musing here to try and figure some shit out, but I will tell you. Maybe my thought process will help. Like you may be able to light something in you, and then you can tell me because you found the answer and then we'll all be happy. I don't know. But the first thing that kind of came to mind was the length of time. So there have been times where I've set myself a challenge for like a week and I've usually done pretty well with that. So maybe I need a weekly challenge. Maybe, maybe doing something for a month or for a hundred days is just too long. And I just need something to inspire me for a week. Maybe that's it. I don't know. But maybe for some people, a week's not long enough, maybe it's what I'm doing. So one of the things I learned with the a hundred day project was if it's too complicated, I'm not going to do it. If it's something I feel like I don't need to do. Then I'm not going to do it. I have to be really, really interested and engaged with what I'm doing to have a higher chance of following through and not getting bored with it. So I'm similar to those people who, when I was a kid, I would like bounce like a hummingbird from hobby to hobby. I be super into something and then I would drop it like a bad habit and move forward. Right. And that's eased a little bit as I've turned into. It ha I still do some of that, but I, it has eased a little bit, but I think it's still manifesting itself in how I approach things like challenges. When I did the a hundred day project the last time it was the farthest I'd ever gotten. I think I got like halfway through it and it was because I gave myself a five minute timer. I spattered some ink or something on a paper, and then I'd make flowers out of it in a quick timeframe. I think what maybe held me up there was that I was filming it everyday for Instagram, making something content, I think is another way to quickly kill a challenge for me. Does it require me to be in a certain place if it's a creative situation and this is actually something I'm running into with my planning situation at the moment as well. And it's something that I, I talked about in a recent plan with me. I am trying to kind of come to terms with the fact that because I don't want to work on Saturdays and all of my planners and all of my, everything are down in the basement, which is very much my office. I'm not likely to go down there. So I kind of lose the thread on Saturdays and. I want to figure out a way to do that. And I don't know if that means separating my personal and work planning completely from each other, because right now there's somewhat separated and keeping my personal planner upstairs and not in the basement, except when I'm actually planning out my week. That might be a thing I don't know yet, but like, If it's creative and it's something I'm supposed to do every day. If I have to come to my office on like, I'm trying not to do that on Saturdays, because once I enter my office, it's like, it sucks me in like a fucking wormhole when I was living in Napa. And my office was in the middle of everything. It was a little different, but here, because I'm like walking down into the basement, it's like being summoned to the office alter and it's a little, a little, not what I want on a damn trying to fully take off. Another thing. That's something I've been thinking about is like, why, why am I doing it? Am I doing it to get better at something? Am I doing it out of a sense of obligation, which is how my challenge has felt for a while. There was a while where I was putting the framework in my planner this last year to do my lettering challenge. But I think I was doing it more out of a sense of obligation. Like, okay, well I created these challenge. I should do them because otherwise, like, am I a poser? I don't know. Am I doing it to keep up with the internet Jones? You know, I think that when I did December daily or when I limped through the first few days of December daily, a couple of years ago, maybe three or four years ago on flood during blog MIS I think I did it because everybody else was doing it. And it felt like material for blog, miss. And I was like, I'll probably really like it for getting that my entire life scrapbooking has never been successful for me. Any sort of like scrapbooking, any memory keeping I've tried that before, and it just never seems to work for me. And yet I still. Do it. And so I wonder, like, what is my motivation? Like is my motivation? I think I'll enjoy it or I'll be good at it. Or is like deep down is my motivation. Like what everybody else is doing. It's I got to keep up with the internet Joneses. I'm fucking fallible. And I am quite susceptible to this shit. You guys, I know that if you're doing a challenge, Situation like that, especially if it's a month or longer, there are going to be times when you're over it, but I ideally you would be all in on it. So you push through, right? Like when you're doing anything like that, there's going to be times when you're in chanted with it. And then there's times when you're like, fuck this, but the fuck, this moments in order to get through them, you need to be like invested in all in, on not only the process, but also the outcome. And I don't think I've ever been invested enough. Maybe I'll be invested in the outcome, but not the process or vice versa. I don't think I've found the magic for me of being invested in the why I'm doing it, how I'm doing it, where I'm due, although like the, who, what, where, when, why, whatever fucking shit. Like, I think that kind of applies to challenges, especially creative ones. And if you can't fulfill enough of those. Then when it gets boring or it gets annoying or it gets tedious. What incentive do you have to finish it? I'm pretty sure that for me, with most challenges I have attempted ever since I started this online. Been doing things like creative for the public man kind of a situation that my biggest incentive was to not look like an ass because I stopped doing it. When I'm posting on Instagram, that's not a good enough reason. So. I need to like really think is there, do I a, do I need challenges in my life at all? And B if I do, I need to find one that is, is something that I can be invested enough in, in enough ways that when my tendency to slack off on it or to stop doing. Comes up that I have a reason to keep going enough to push me through keeping going. And if you're hating something and you're miserable doing it, don't fucking do it. But like, I'm not talking about hating as much as I'm talking about just general annoyance, I guess. So I don't have an answer. As to why I suck at challenges, except maybe that is the answer, right? Maybe it's just, I've just not invested enough in doing them. I'm invested in creating them for you guys, but I'm not invested in actually doing them myself at the moment when it comes to lettering practice, I'm not invested in it because I do enough of that freelance wise to keep me fresh. I'm not invested in. Like the doodling as well. Like it's I do enough of that for work. So maybe the challenge I need is something that's not work-related so that maybe I can exercise my creativity in another way, but then I need to make sure I've defined why it's important to me, why the outcome is important to me and why the process is important to me enough. So that, that will help sustain me when I get to the boring part. As for my challenges, you may be asking, why are you still going to do them if you're not invested in them? And I'm not sure yet, I'm not sure if I'm going to keep doing them as of January, or if I'm going to change them, combine them, do something else. I'm not really sure yet. I know that this year doing the Spotify playlist was so much fun for the lettering challenge and the little scenes for the doodling challenge has been a lot of fun, but I'll be honest. I am burning out on creating them as well. And so I may put those on hiatus and try something different, but I'm not sure yet. So stay tuned for that and make sure you follow me at Lama letters or check out my newsletter and my website. Everything's linked in the show notes because that's where shit like that is going to pop up. So like you'll, you'll find it eventually. But in the meantime, I'm going to just be okay with the fact that I, I suck at challenges and that I would like to find one that resonates with me, but I'm not going to stress myself out about it because. W I don't need to keep up with the internet Joneses. I am totally fine. Just doing what I feel like doing. And if everybody and their mother loves doing like all the Allie Edward shit, cause that seems to be where the internet Jones is, tend to hit me. Then Allie Edwards your life away, but I don't really feel like doing it and I'm not good. And I'm okay with that. If you resonate with this, please share it on Instagram because I would love for other people to find this, because I'm sure there are more of you out there that attempt to do a challenge and then suck at it. And they're like, why the fuck do I suck at this? I feel like I'm not the only one. So if this resonates with you, share it on Instagram, tag me at Lama letters in your stories, and I will look for it. I'll look it up. In the meantime, don't forget my shop closes this Friday. So check it all out. Everything's linked in the show notes. And until next time friends have a great day and peace out.

    Full show notes at the publisher

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