the tortoise & the hare

Latest Episodes:

Curveballs: Episode 12 Mar 20, 2024

Show notes

You know the feeling. Life is motoring on in much the way you expected it to, you’ve got plans, you’ve got goals and then — BAM — a curveball gets whacked your way. Suddenly the plans, the goals, the vague idea of what we thought life would look like are shaken.

In this month's episode of The Tortoise, Brooke and Ben are talking curveballs, trying to answer the question of how to navigate the unexpected challenges life can throw in our way.

In this conversation they look at what defines a curveball, how to use some of the ideas of slow living to help navigate them, as we as:

examples of some curveballs they've faced themselves recently
the role that simply noticing — our emotions, our stories, our egos — can play in accepting and moving forward once we face an unexpected challenge
“feeling our feelings” as the first step in moving on from a curveball, and why there are many different ways to do that
how acceptance of what is can help us to move forward and why it’s such a difficult thing to achieve
the rising movement of Stoicism and concerns about the difference between being stoic and repressed
two different ways of using perspective to reframe our curveballs over time
the role of gratitude in moving on from an abrupt life change, and why we can’t always rush straight to it
why self-care is so important when navigating new life circumstances

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there.

Thanks for listening!

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joyful Living: Episode 11 Feb 14, 2024

Show notes

Today’s episode is all about joyful living. What it is, what it isn’t, how to get more of it and how it differs from happiness.

Stemming from Brooke's intention to try and find more joy in 2024, this conversation is delightfully and unexpectedly wide-ranging, and in it Ben and Brooke explore:

the definition of joy, and why it means so many different things to so many different people
why much of the literature around joy is religious or spiritual
how joy differs from happiness and how it is similar
the role that alcohol has on our ability to experience happiness and joy (and how Brooke's experience has changed since she stopped drinking)
how to adopt a lens of joy and happiness to life when you’re not a joyful person by default
why choosing joy is a revolutionary act
what the difference is between choosing joy and toxic positivity
how we can add more joy to our lives

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, including links to the articles mentioned in today's episode, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there.

Thanks for listening!

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

2023 Top Ten: Episode 10 Dec 20, 2023

Show notes

Welcome to Episode 10 of The Tortoise - the p(l)odcast all about the possibilities of slow. In today's show — the final one for 2023 — Brooke and Ben look back over the year that was and walk through their personal Top Ten list. That is, their favourite:

TV show
Small detail
Movie
New destination
Book (you know I failed to limit this one)
Discovery
Album
New listening (podcast or otherwise)
Meal
Experience

It’s a fun thing to do together, and they'd love to hear your Top Ten list for 2023.

Head over to The Tortoise to share your list and to see the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there.

Thanks for listening, and see you in 2024!

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Addiction: Episode 9 Nov 15, 2023

Show notes

This month's episode digs into the topic of addiction (and more broadly, obsessive behaviour) for things like tech-use, busyness, food and consumption. If you need help with addiction or mental health, there's a list of resources over at The Tortoise.

In today's show, Ben shares his experience with tech over-use and the links he sees between it and the hustle-grind-capitalism-productivity culture, and he and Brooke look at how the proliferation of tech (especially smart phones and social media) have increased our desire for instant gratification.

Brooke talks through her compulsion to consume bad news, and shares a few ways she's trying to break those patterns of behaviour. She also talks about the role that tech and consumerism intertwine to create a world that feels simultaneously too much and not enough, and how that has her and many other women she knows feeling angry.

It's an interesting and meandering conversation that will hopefully leave you with lots to think about. Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there.

Thanks for listening!

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hard Times: Episode 8 Oct 18, 2023

Show notes

Today Brooke and Ben are talking about hard times. Or more specifically, how to deal with the emotional heaviness that comes from living through really difficult things.

Digging into this feeling of heaviness, they discuss how they're trying to acknowledge and accept the challenges, as well as the tools they use to help them move forward. They also talk about practical ways to protect ourselves when things feel hard, why limiting social media is a powerful way of drawing boundaries, the impact of gentle activism, why rage-cleaning can help process anger, the rebelliousness of finding joy and why pairing all of these things with action is so important.

Hopefully this conversation shows that it’s okay to look for and hold onto joy in amongst the difficult times.

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there.

Thanks for listening!

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seasonal Living: Episode 7 Sep 20, 2023

Show notes

In this month's episode, Brooke and Ben dig into the topic of seasonal living. Not only the calendar kind of seasonal living, but also the other seasons that exist in life too. The ones that don’t change every three months. The internal seasons, the life seasons, the in-built cycles and rhythms that — whether we realise it or not — have a profound impact on how we live, how we grow, how we show up in the world.

They begin with a pretty traditional look at what seasonal living means — that is, how it can impact the food we eat, the activities we do, our energy, our personal environmental impact, our connection to the world around us and the rhythms that drive it all.

But from there, they dig into the broader conversation around seasonal living, including the seasons we experience throughout life, why many people find themselves resistant to the stereotypical ‘spring, summer, autumn, winter’ analogy, the archetypes that mark our way through adulthood and the importance of recognising the inherent messiness of transitions.

It's thought-provoking and juicy in all the best ways.

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there.

Thanks for listening!

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Self-care: Episode 6 Aug 15, 2023

Show notes

For a term we throw around a lot, self-care is not all that well defined. It’s attached loosely to the ideas of wellness, self-help, relaxation and mindfulness, and so often comes to us packaged, commoditised and ready to be bought/sold.

Ben and Brooke start today’s episode by trying to define self-care, and eventually land on one that is as broad and inclusive as possible:

Self-care can be anything that leaves us feeling cared for or supported from within.

From there, they dig deeper into their own experiences of self-care, including how they make time for it, what constitutes "boring self-care", the weird rituals that act as self-care on the days there's not a lot of time and the parts of self-care they struggle with.

Brooke then reflects on a comment left on a recent Tortoise newsletter about toxic positivity, which asked about the difference between resilience, positive thinking, wallowing and toxic positivity. It's a juicy topic that both Brooke and Ben have some thoughts on, and will no doubt return to again.

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there.

Thanks for listening!

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tech and Kids: Episode 5 Jul 19, 2023

Show notes

For our kids (and adults as well), there is barely a part of life that isn't somehow connected to smartphones, social media or screens, and they're starting to feel the effects of being constantly connected.

In today's episode, Ben and Brooke talk about their experience raising two high school-ages kids (12 and 14) and the constant negotiations around tech boundaries. They also talk about the broader impact that high levels of screen time are having on kids in general, the challenges that are beginning to emerge in regards to relationships, well-being and self-esteem, and what we as adults can do to help support them.

Brooke also reflects on a hugely impactful documentary she saw recently, that has given her something that's been in short supply lately: hope.

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there.

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mental Load: Episode 4 Jun 14, 2023

Show notes

It's a phrase we hear a lot about — the mental load — but what does it actually mean? And how can we navigate life while carrying it?

Brooke and Ben discuss their differing definitions of mental load and how it plays out for them personally. They also dig into the broader conversation (Is a heavier mental load a gender issue or one of personality? Is it about convenience? Does it differ across generations?) and look at suggestions on how to make changes that could help lessen or even out the load in a relationship.

In the reflection part of the pod they discuss the big, beautiful benefits of being content versus being happy, and dig into how our values might help define both contentment/happiness.

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there.

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Sandwich Generation: Episode 3 May 17, 2023

Show notes

If you're feeling squashed between competing needs - raising kids and caring for parents while trying to work/live/look after yourself, for example - then this episode is for you.

Brooke and Ben talk about what it means to be a part of the 'sandwich generation', and why, for them, it represents a transition rather than a challenge to be overcome. They discuss what being sandwiched could look like, why the additional pressures of caring so often fall to women, how they manage expectations, why they're thinking so far into the future, the slow living tools that might help, and yes, their favourite sandwiches (yes, really).

In the reflection part of the pod, they talk about different types of community, and the lightbulb moment that came in a recent comments section over on The Tortoise.

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there.

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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