the tortoise & the hare

Latest Episodes:

Goals and resolutions and to-do lists, oh my! Dec 17, 2017

Show notes

Ben loves goals, Brooke doesn’t. Will they be able to find a way around this and continue in life, love and podcasts? You’ll have to listen to find out!

Like florals to spring are goals and New Year’s resolutions to the end of the year. Today Brooke and Ben talk about their recent discovery that Ben is way more goal oriented than Brooke. Like a lot more. The nature of Ben’s work is project-based, with distinct start and end dates - he’s used to end-points and moving on to the next thing, both professionally and personally. Whether it’s learning a new song on the guitar or painting the front fence, Ben feels like his life is like this, and Brooke feels like hers is not.

Brooke’s natural tendency is not to be goal-oriented at all. While she does need structure and to-do lists to tame her “panster” ways, goals actually make her feel claustrophobic. As soon as a goal is down on paper, no matter how SMART it is, she instantly wants to rebel against it, a habit that’s potentially formed from years of feeling shame around not finishing things that she started. She does semi-regularly sit down and partake in a big-picture brain dump or epic mind-map making session, but even those will be forgotten about and discovered a year later (often, interestingly, with many of the things having taken place, even without the piece of paper in sight!). Unsurprisingly, Brooke is also not a fan of New Year’s resolutions, but more about the actions and the doing.

However, both Brooke and Ben agree that one of the downsides of not setting goals is not celebrating success enough. It’s a work in progress for them - actually stopping to take it in, reflect on what you’ve done and celebrate how far you’ve come, and what you’ve achieved. This also ties back to mindfulness for Brooke, who can see that being more present allows her to really pause and soak in the details of things.

The key takeaway for this week? It’s ok to not be a goal setter, but maybe try being a little more mindful of what it is you’re working towards. And maybe try experimenting with thinking of a couple of short, medium and long-term goals and writing them down in the Notes app in your phone (Ben’s location of choice). Think about something that extends you personally or professionally, or maybe make a mindmap or do a brain dump, and then look at the end game. What is it that you’re working towards? Once it’s time to turn that bullet point into a satisfying tick, take a moment (or a glass of something bubbly) to celebrate your success.

Are you a goal-setter? If so, tell us how you do it, we’d love to hear. Also if anyone really knows what SMART stands for, feel free to get in touch.

To read more, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/220/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

====

If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially and join in on our live monthly video calls.

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cait Flanders on her year of less, and why consumption isn't just about stuff Dec 13, 2017

Show notes

In today’s episode Brooke talks to the awesome Cait Flanders, mindful money extraordinaire, author and slow living advocate. The last time Cait was on the show was way back in episode 22 in 2015, so the two had a bit to catch up on!

Excitingly, Cait’s first book The Year Of Less is about to be released (on 16th January 2018). Brooke has read the book and absolutely loved it. At first glance it might seem to be about a girl who stopped shopping for a year, but it’s actually about so much more. Cait did complete a year-long shopping ban from 2014-2015, and while the book is about that, the ban also provides a framework for her to talk about a lot of other things - drinking, relationships, money (of course) and more. The book is deeply personal and honest, so a lot of excavation was involved in the writing. Cait speaks about the writing process (including self-imposed isolation and extended Airbnb stays) as well as the feeling of finishing her biggest creative project to date.

Brooke also asked Cait about the year of slow experiments she’s undertaken in 2017. Cait explained the motivation behind them - that she felt overwhelmed by the classic #newyearnewme self-improvement messages, knowing she’d have a lot of work to do in the new year with her book. But at the same time there were some small changes she wanted to make - things she wanted more or less of in her life. And so the year-long project was born, featuring all the fun of trying something new without the pressure of a challenge. Every month (bar two) had a theme, and rather than setting goals she created intentions, which meant more room for fluidity and flexibility and less feeling bad for not ticking a certain box every day.

She kicked off with slow mornings in January, and in a beautiful act of synchronicity, is finishing in December with experimenting with slow evenings. Her favourite experiments were the slow travel and slow food (no surprises there!). Throughout the year Cait realised that anything that makes you stop and think about what it is that you’re doing, in whatever aspect of your life, is a good thing. She and Brooke talk more about that in terms of being overwhelmed with choice, feelings of FOMO, changing slowly, being compassionate and asking for help when we need it.

Cait’s overall goal with her book was to encourage people to pause and think about what’s going on when they feel the need to consume more or binge on whatever it is - shopping, drinking, eating, social media etc. And this mindfulness really permeates throughout all her work, and the way she lives her life. Yay for Cait!

To read more, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/219/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

====

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Slow by name, Slow by nature Dec 10, 2017

Show notes

Slow by name, slow by nature is the topic for this Monday episode. After last week’s Facebook Live hostful and the end of the very first Live Life Simply online retreat, Brooke and Ben felt like they were hearing a lot of people come to the realisation that they’d been trying to rush their way to slow as quickly as possible, and that it wasn’t going to work. So they thought it was time to address this paradoxical approach to slowing down and remind us all (including themselves!) that the only way to do it really is slowly.

Slow living has been packaged and sold as a solution to all of the problems we face in our modern world, but people are coming to understand and accept that living a slow life is a slow process, not a quick fix. If you’re living a life of “I’ll be happy when”s (I’ll be happy when I have less stuff, when I’ve paid off my credit card, when I’ve got a weekend with nothing on) it’s hard to appreciate and be present for those moments in between. There’s nothing wrong with having these things in mind to aim for, but it’s important to remember to live life along the way and not get caught up looking at the end goal. It really is all about the journey, not the destination.

Brooke and Ben talk about the realisation that working towards slow living doesn’t mean everything is done slowly, but rather understanding that change comes slowly. It also means accepting that backsliding and failure and frustration are all part of the process too, and that actively softening into the things that we’re resisting can help us be present with where we are, let our experiences deepen and allow ourselves a little compassion.

The take-away from this week is to ask yourself what is something that is bringing you stress or rigidity in your life right now? Maybe it’s a few things - write them down, then just choose one and ask what would it look like if you softened into the process, understand that changes take time and keep slowly working towards it?

Let us know what that looks like for you - we’d love to hear how you’re softening into slow, especially at this time of year.

To read more, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/218/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

====

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's a Hostful and it's Live! Dec 06, 2017

Show notes

Coming to you live from Facebook, this week’s hostful episode sees Brooke and Ben talk all things life updates, travel, 2018 plans and more.

First big piece of news? They’ve sold their house! Exciting times, especially after a hectic few weeks that saw a couple of episodes missed. Brooke and Ben talk about this, and the fact that it really was a time of intense tilting (almost horizontally, according to Ben!), very much a “going fast to go slow” period. Brooke remembers when these times used to make her feel like a “slow imposter”, but now she’s able to recognise and become intentional when life gets hectic, and especially when it returns to a more sustainable pace (January and February are looking super slow for these guys).

They come back to the idea of long term balance versus the illusive everyday balance, and working towards the big picture rather than stressing out everyday over the unattainable. Mindset also comes into it, and remembering that you’re choosing to be busy, maybe in order to come back to slow a little later. Plus, Brooke highlights the non-negotiables of sleep, meditation and good food that help her get through more stressful times.

As for the pogpast, there are some exciting changes on the horizon for 2018! The last episode of the year will come out on the 21st December, and then from there we’ll move into the Summer Series, which will see the favourite or most popular episodes of the year re-released for 5 weeks throughout January. Then from February, the podcast will go back to being only one episode per week. This reflects Brooke and Ben’s aim to simplify life while they’re on the road, and focusing on doing less, better.

2018 will also see the return of the experiment episodes! Brooke and Ben are excited to be doing these again, and know a lot of listeners have missed them too. At the moment the plan is to alternate between one month of an experiment and then one month of interview episodes, which will also include live recordings and loads of great guests from the book tour happening in mid next year.

Apart from these updates, Brooke and Ben also answer live questions around the idea of a slow:fast ratio, how to host guests and still stay slow, balancing home and work life and staying in the present moment, waste and travelling, fears around next year and the plans for the trip so far.

To read more, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/217/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

====

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Slow Holidays: Traditions Nov 26, 2017

Show notes

It’s the 27^th of November, and if anyone listening is already on holidays, Brooke and Ben salute you. It’s one month til Christmas, and the craziness/silliness/festiveness has well and truly begun. This is the last episode in the Slow Holidays Monday series, and in the spirit of trying to find pockets of slow in these full and exciting weeks, today Brooke and Ben talk about the importance of holiday traditions.

They both agree that traditions are really important, especially at this time of year. However they acknowledge that traditions change and evolve over time, and that there’s no need to stick to something that doesn’t serve you.

Ben challenges Brooke about a couple of their holiday traditions (e.g. getting a real Christmas tree every year and decorating the house with what he terms “clutter”, much to Brooke’s objection) and asks if they still align to their values. Brooke maintains that she still values fun, and that the most important part of these traditions (and this time of year) is spending quality time with friends and family. The joy of hanging out with their kids on the first weekend in December, going to get a tree and then listening to The Beach Boys while decorating is what matters, not necessarily the tree and decorations themselves.

It’s testing, but Ben puts it out there that it’s good at this time of year to question why we partake in certain holiday traditions. This week’s action? Look at what you do at this time of year and the traditions you love, and why you love them. See if there are any traditions that need to evolve and start having those conversations. What small shifts can you start to make to ensure your traditions sit comfortably with your values? And most importantly, don’t forget to embrace the fun and soften into the season.

Head over to http://slowyourhome.com/216/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the blog post.

PS Keep listening all the way to the end for some blooper gold.

====

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Check In: Part 2 Nov 22, 2017

Show notes

It’s been a few months since Brooke and Ben shared their 2018 plans with you and thought it was time for an update, because, well, things have changed. Head back to Episode 193 if you’re curious to hear all the previous details, but in a nutshell next year the plan is for Brooke and Ben to pack up their lives in the Blue Mountains and head off on an adventure. First stop will be Canada for a few months before heading to the United States for a book tour to celebrate the release of SLOW. After that, they really don’t know. (And that part, at least, hasn’t changed).

Up until recently the plan was to rent out their house, work remotely and home school the kids while attempting to travel in a slow way, living like locals wherever possible. It was going to allow them to travel, experience the world and still have somewhere to come back to at the end of the trip.

Now? Some of those plans have changed and some of them have become clearer, and in today’s episode Brooke and Ben give you a big old run-down of what they're doing instead.

They talk about why they've decided to sell their house, why they're giving away all their stuff, and why 2018 is all about experimentation.

This is a loose conversation, mostly because Brooke and Ben are feeling pretty nervous/daunted/excited about it all. So enjoy!

====

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Slow Holidays: Presence Over Presents Nov 19, 2017

Show notes

Continuing the Slow Holidays theme, in today’s episode Brooke and Ben talk about valuing presence over presents as the year comes to an end. This chat follows on nicely from episode 210, which was all about clutter-free gifts, but goes a step further to really question why it is that we choose to show our love through the giving of stuff.

Brooke and Ben talk about the emotional connection we feel to giving things, and the fact that it can sometimes come down to feelings of guilt or obligation. If you haven’t been there for a loved one throughout the year, you might feel the pressure to give them a whizz-bang gift come Christmas time to show them you care.

But if you flip it and reverse it, and start with time, maybe there’s another way. For Brooke, slow living means more time for the people in her life, and investing in relationships. The reason we give gifts is to show love, but what other ways can you show love? Giving presence is giving time and energy and turning up for people throughout the entire year. Maybe consider setting up rituals with people that you love, like you’re gifting a year-long subscription to you.

Feel free to share your thoughts with us over on the blog, or Facebook or Instagram - we’d love to hear how you think you could incorporate this into your holiday season, and the rest of your year, and whether it’s shifted your perspective on gift-giving at all!

Head over to http://slowyourhome.com/214/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the blog post.

====

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chelsea Pottenger on depression, wellness and creating a mindful workplace Nov 15, 2017

Show notes

In this episode Brooke sat down to chat with mindfulness expert and advocate for awareness of postnatal depression Chelsea Pottenger. Chelsea works with organisations to develop mindfulness and wellbeing programs for their staff, is studying to be a clinical psychologist, and works as an ambassador for R U OK? and the Gidget Foundation, an incredible organisation that offers a range of services for new mums who are experiencing (or think they might experience) postnatal depression.

This week is actually Postnatal Depression Awareness Week, so it’s a perfect time for an honest, very open chat about this often-hidden disease. Chelsea and Brooke have had parallel experiences into new parenthood, both of them suffering from postnatal depression and then using it as a vehicle to improve their mental health across the board, as well as their lives and work.

Soon after her daughter Clara was born Chelsea started to experience symptoms of postnatal depression (including anxiety, insomnia, hypersensitivity to sound, shame and guilt) but like so many of us do, she put up a front and pretended that everything was fine. She eventually got to a breaking point, and after opening up to her husband was admitted to a postnatal depression ward in hospital the next day.

During her time in hospital she worked with an amazing psychiatrist who introduced her to mindfulness from a clinical perspective. Chelsea became curious about neuroplasticity, felt the benefits of meditation throughout her stay and when leaving the hospital, decided to study to become a clinical psychologist herself.

Now her life’s work is twofold: to bring awareness to postnatal depression as an ambassador for R U OK? and the Gidget Foundation and to share what she’s learned about mindfulness and its benefits in the corporate environment. She now spends part of her time helping people in big organisations like Ebay and Uber learn healthy coping tools under the umbrella of mindfulness. Her programs cover everything from self-care and productivity to gut health and meditation, all of it backed by science.

Chelsea’s life is full and mindful, and at the end of the podcast she shares some of the tools she uses to stay grounded and productive, while fiercely protecting her time as well as being selective about the people you spend your time with. There are some great tricks and tools here for anyone wanting to get better at saying no, like the 2am appointment time!

Head over to http://slowyourhome.com/213/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the blog post.

====

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Slow Holidays: The Pre-Christmas Catch-Up Nov 12, 2017

Show notes

This Slow Holidays episode is all about The Pre-Holiday Catch Up, and includes complimentary Christmas puns, now even earlier in the year!

We all know the drill: “Oh, we must catch up before Christmas”, says your well-meaning long-lost friend/colleague/distant cousin/neighbour. Text messages are flying back and forth, and everyone you run into makes the same suggestion. Sometimes you even find the dreaded words coming out of your own mouth.

Work winds down and our social lives ramp up at this time of year. But the reality is, we put so much pressure on ourselves to commit to all these social engagements in such a short window of time that it can make this period a lot more frantic than it needs to be.

Of course there will be end-of-year concerts, assemblies and catch-ups that we have to (and want to) commit to, but now is a great time to start to alleviate the pressure on ourselves before the silly season starts.

Brooke and Ben outline some great steps to take to start to make changes:

Accept that it will be a busier time, no matter what steps we take
Remember that it’s fun! Enjoy it for what it is
Think about what you did last year and will have on this year, write it all down and see if you can combine events or postpone them to the New Year
Acknowledge that you can’t do it all and give other people permission to feel the same way
Be honest when responding to invitations - say how you feel!
Look at your energy requirements and question how much of your energy you want to commit to social events at this time of year

The action for this week is step 3 - write down everything you think you’ll have on this year and start think about ways you can simplify before the time comes. Prepare to be the person in your social group driving change in order a create a slower holiday season for you and your family.

Head over to http://slowyourhome.com/212/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the blog post.

====

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jess Davis is leading the analog rebellion Nov 08, 2017

Show notes

They’re happy, they’re delighted, they’re back. This week Brooke chats with the founder of Folk Rebellion, AKA Chief Rebel Jess Davis.

Jess is an unapologetic advocate for getting the hell off our devices and getting into life. This episode follows on nicely from the recent Monday series about social media and is a continuation of the theme of the relationship between technology and distraction. Folk Rebellion is a call to arms for all of us to get off our phones, look people in the eye when we talk to them and live an analog life; do things with our hands, go hiking, start making, listen to a whole album on vinyl.

While working as a digital brand strategist, Jess started to realise the impact her tech dependent life was having on her brain. She found herself losing focus, struggling with memory and feeling disassociated, and went to see doctors about these issues. After a tech intervention by her husband on a holiday to Hawaii, she felt a shift. Eight days of no technology meant she started to feel like her old self again, and this triggered a series of massive shifts and changes Jess has since made to her life.

In this episode, Brooke chats with Jess about about how to get people on board with changes, thoughts on digital detox, insight into Jess’ daily routine with technology, changing expectations around technology and availability as well as slow living in the city.

There’s also talk of an exciting new Folk Rebellion project; the launch of an IRL, old-school, paper newspaper called Rebel Times. Delivered to your door, featuring long form pieces and a throwback to the funny pages, this monthly publication is coming out in January 2018. Check out @folkrebellion on Instagram or go to folkrebellion.com to stay posted or find out how to get involved.

Head over to http://slowyourhome.com/211/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the blog post.

====

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.